


Wellington Beach

by jaylanic



Category: Mean Girls (2004), One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: "mean girls" with boys instead, Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, Classism, Eating Disorders, Everyone is a Slut, Flashbacks, Friends With Benefits, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Love songs, Mentions of Mental Illness, Mentions of Rape, Multi, Niall is a dickhead, Platonic Hand Holding, Platonic Kissing, Recreational Drug Use, Singer Zayn Malik, Underage Drinking, almost everyone smokes cause they're all stressed, black outs, enter at your own risk, no one is pure, overuse of the word platonic, platonic blowjobs, platonic boyfriends, possible school shooting, serious case of stuck in the closet syndrome, this school is filled with soulless demons and lies, you will not love Niall here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2018-11-01 19:31:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 182,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10928523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaylanic/pseuds/jaylanic
Summary: Mean Girls AU!Hyperactive youngster Louis Tomlinson, raised all over the world, finally gets to experience a real school. A little lap of luxury called Wellington Beach High. The pretty water on the beach the place is named after almost looks real… if you squint. Although, Wellington isn’t just any old private school on the hills. It’s divided into cliques and filled with crazy truck drivers, sex and drugs, and super rich kids with nothing but fake friends. Nothing Louis can’t handle, right? Until he meets the student body and finds out there’s more to everything than what meets the eye. Or rumour.





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this a little over 2 years ago so this is *technically* the first story I've ever written but the second one I've ever posted. It's based off the movie "Means Girls" and two of my fav songs off an album called Channel Orange by Frank Ocean - "Super Rich Kids," and "Sweet Life,". I reference these two songs a lot in this, along with Mean Girls of course :) (It doesn't follow the plot of the movie to the very end though. You'll see where it's different from the movie.)
> 
> Also, Wellington Beach is a completely fictional location I've made up as the setting so there are no beaches in London and Wellington isn't a real school!
> 
> My tumblr is jaylaisdreaming and jaylanic. Enjoy! ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ

 

 

_Why see the world, when you've got the beach?_

_~Frank Ocean_

 

 

**Character → Counterpart**

 

 

(Louis as Cady Heron ‘Bubbly new kid’) No one can say his name correctly.

 

(Harry as Aaron Samuels) Dreamy footballer with a sensitive heart.

 

(Zayn as Damian ‘too gay to function’) Zayn’s sexuality is up for debate in Wellington. Everything with Zayn is up for debate in Wellington.

 

(Perrie as Janice Ian) Goth girl with a rough past.

 

(Liam as Kevin Gnapoor ‘kid genius’)  Doesn’t take shit from anyone or no for an answer. Sweetie pie and loved by all. He’s got a dark side.

 

(Niall as Jason) Sleazy slut. Rumour has it, if you listen close enough, you can hear screaming from his closet.

 

(Kendall Jenner as Regina George) Say no more.

 

(Tom Harlock as Gretchen Weiners) Knows EVERYTHING. Got a few secrets himself.

 

(Eleanor Calder as Karen Smith ‘Last year, she asked me out to spell o r a n g e.’) Very pretty but very dumb.

  
  
(Lottie Rodgers also as Gretchen Weiners) Generally a very mean girl.

 

(Jade Thirwell and Stan Lucas as Kristen Hadley and her boyfriend)

 

(Melissa Steel as Taylor Windell)

 

(Glen as Glen Coco)

 

Everyone as a minimum of at least one skeleton lurking in their closets.

 


	2. i. Louis' First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis' first day. It isn't a very good day.

 

  **Louis POV**

 

_**Monday** _

 

The free western world, a staple of wealth, luxury and culture, something Louis Tomlinson is a little more than familiar with. Namely, the city of London, where he’s moved to this year.

 

He’s been travelling with his parents since he was 10 because his father is in WWOOF - a worldwide organisation of growers that promote cultural and educational experiences all over the globe. But now, they’re finally settling down in their home country.

 

An opulent little borough in London known as Wellington Beach. It’s kind of like moving to Beverly Hills.

 

Flashy cars, pristine architecture, wild parties and rich socialites with their super rich kids with all their loose ends. It sits on a beautiful beach where the clear blue water flows against the skyline that you can see from the all rooftops of the city and there’s nothing like this kind of view. It gives you the surreal illusion that you’re in _paradise_.

 

The atmosphere of the beach just adds to the ambiance of the perfect picture that is Wellington, a veritable paragon to the rest of the cruel, ugly world.

 

Except, if you look very closely, you’ll see that the beach is fake.

 

It’s man-made. They created it to look like something it’s not. There _are_ no beaches in London. But, you can see this man-made one from anywhere in the city and everyone assumes it’s real because it’s so beautiful, just like everyone assumes Wellington is a paradise because it’s so luxurious and affluent. But the surface doesn’t show you what’s really inside as all that glitters isn’t gold.

 

But, Louis likes shiny objects so he likes this place already.

 

Not that he’s a materialistic person or anything. He doesn’t really care about big watches and expensive cars - he could have all that stuff if he wanted and it was nice and all but, he like substance a little better. The culture. The _fashion._ The people.

 

London was in some the top trendiest cities in the _world_ . He’d been to Florence - Italy, Beirut -, Lebanon, India, Australian… just _everywhere._ But,  never had he been to the land mark cities in his own country.

 

He didn’t really follow trends or try to be anyone else but himself, which tended to draw a lot of attention to him on it’s own, making the trends follow _him_ instead of the latter. But he couldn’t care any less about social status, he just likes the idea of new people and getting into a _real_ school finally. It was still private school but it was one with more than 20 people this time.

 

His first day of the new private school after a lifetime of being sheltered could’ve been great. It was supposed to be _fun_. But, like most things in life it had to be shit.

 

He went wrong at the very start of the day, beginning with what he’s wearing, which his mum picked out by the way. She insisted on buying a million clothes the week before, none of which Louis had any say in and she wouldn’t let him leave the house until he put on the outfit she picked out.

 

Louis’ mum, like most people in this new school, was obsessed with status and image.

 

She wanted all the kids at school to get good for impression of Louis by dressing him in the best clothes money could buy. Problem was, Louis’ mum wasn’t the greatest when it came to style. Designer clothes look nice on their own but, when they’re thrown together any kind of way there’s usually a clash.

 

He was wearing bright red armani pants, rolled up above his sockless white Tom’s to show his ankles with a white polo shirt with red and blue stripes, hair styled in the type of comb-over that should only be reserved for balding old men. This would’ve been _fine_ if he was 12 and going to a carnival.

 

Louis was 16 and until today, he was either in private school or homeschooled with no more than 20 other peers, depending on which country they lived in. Now, there was gonna be over _500._

 

It was too loud and Louis hated it. Not that it was attention grabbing… it just _didn’t match._

 

But, he loved his mum so he was gonna do what she wanted just this once. She was already anxious about sending him off to the school anyways. He was homeschooled most of the time for medical reasons (he has a heart abnormality) so the least he could do was comply with looking like her little boy, her _only_ boy out of 6 kids, even if his style had evolved _years_ ago.

 

In Jay’s eyes, he was still her little sunshine and he wasn’t gonna take that away from her.

 

On the bus ride to school, he focuses on his surroundings rather than his clownish look, taking in the place he was going to be calling home again.

 

This beach was _beautiful._ Even the small flashes of it through the buildings he passes by were like seeing a glimpse into heaven. He couldn’t _wait_ to check it out up close.

 

London wasn’t Doncaster, but the dreary weather and the gray skies still gave him the nostalgic feel of his old hometown. Even the sweaty musk of cramped public transit. Spending the last 6 years living in places like hot India or freezing cold Canada was all _well_ exciting enough for Louis and he was smart enough to understand that most kids his age don’t get the privilege to travel the world so young. Or even in their whole lifetimes. But he was humble enough to be grateful for it and he was glad to be back home. It felt pretty good.

 

He missed it. Kinda like coming back home after a long day of frolicing outside with friends.

 

As he sits on the bus on the way to school and stares at the beach, his mind drifts to his future. What his classes will be like, the new people he’d encounter… it made his heart pumped with adrenaline, although that was a side-effect to his heart murmur, the constant rush of blood coursing through his body.

 

He turned it into a positive attribute to his personality though, always chasing the excitement and that usually made him quite fun to be around so he’s always had groups of friends no matter where he was.

 

It was a bit daunting - not knowing what to expect - but that only added to the excitement… and adrenaline. He couldn’t stop his nerves even if he wanted to. It would be too overwhelming if he didn’t react to his heart-rate with a positive attitude.

 

If his mum or dad knew, they probably never would’ve let him leave the house. He had to try so hard to not alert his mum of how fast his heart-rate was when she squeezed him at the door. She didn’t take his eagerness to leave as anything suspicious, thankfully.

 

It was part of his personality to _genuinely_ be hyped all the time. He was spontaneous and kind of alluring in that way. Always being the “new kid,” made most people he came around in each new place just wonder who he was naturally. That new kid aura about him would have people drawn to him, always having lots of friends in each new country or city he moved to, orbiting around him like little planets around their sun.

 

That was probably what he was most excited about. He couldn’t _wait_ to start making new friends here.

 

He started watching the people he passed by on the bus, guessing who would be his future peers.

 

There was a short, chubby boy walking while pressing into who Louis assumed was his girlfriend, a full _head_ taller than him. They were so curled into each other, it seemed to defy physics that they weren’t tripping over each other from refusing to leave any more than a centimeter of space between them.

 

A little ways down was a petite pregnant lady with long lilac hair that Louis thought was pretty wicked walking with an equally small girl with long black braids, wearing matching cheer-leader ensembles with the words “Wellington” etched across their backs. It was a little shocking to see a pregnant student but Louis didn’t really stay focused on those two girls as they had two boys beside them dressed in sports uniforms, and Louis’ attention tended to be more centered on footballers than cheerleaders.

 

One bouncy smiley boy with obviously dyed bleach blond hair, laughing and talking animatedly with the girls along with his spindly, friend. He kind of walks like his legs are too long for him as his red converse drag into each other with each step, _slightly_ pigeon toed and -- _oh_ he trips over himself.

 

Louis laughs a little as he watches him walk with his friends, brushing it off like it didn’t happen.

 

Okay, he’s _a lot_ pigeon toed. But, his clumsiness is kind of… cute.

 

His eyes lingered on him and his funny, crooked feet for a while until he was too far away to see any other details as the bus stopped for Louis to get off. He had to walk up the main road and cross the busy street to get to his school. When he got off, he scanned the crowd ahead of him for the tall boy with the mess of brown curls but he’d disappeared in the crowd of students wandering around outside.

 

Louis stares at the building from across the main road in shock.

 

Wellington Beach High was a _castle._ It was one thing to see it online and printed in brochures but, standing before it was next level surreal. He’d never seen a school so big, in person, in his _life._

 

A little nervously, he makes his way across the road… only to be nearly run over by a _speeding_ black Escalade.

 

Louis’ heart jumps 10 notches, full throttle, as he dove into the ground, knocking the wind out of him while the screech of the Cadillac blared angrily, continuing on its speedy route without even bothering to make sure the person they almost hit was alright. Even though it was Louis’ fault for not paying attention, it was the least the driver could do…

 

 _“Jesus H. fuck…”_ He swears in disarray, dusting himself off as he got back on his feet.

 

A few of the students around him that witnessed his near death accident look at him with not much concern, glazed eyes looking Louis up and down like he was a stray dog that found itself in the wrong part of town.

 

He quickly brushes himself off as he scurries on towards the school entrance, looking around to take in his surroundings. Wellington was almost _too_ big. His old private schools looked like a shed compared to this colossal building.

 

There were small groups of students standing around outside, some lounging in their identical uniform blazers and ties, sitting on the steps or the brick walls around the school, some even relaxing on the lawn.

 

It felt very casual.

 

Louis liked it. Until he got _inside_.

 

These halls are _not_ casual. Stepping inside is like diving into rush hour.

 

The inside looked much smaller that it did out there and the halls were overwhelmingly crowded as he tried to find his way to his homeroom, getting bumped and pushed about like bumper car in the process.

 

He still felt a tad bit worked up from his close call with the Caddy in the street, adding to his jumpiness. That coupled with the buzzing air of the building made his blood pump even more. He decided it was from the excitement. He wasn’t sure if the adrenaline was good or bad though.

 

After a few wrong turns, he finally makes it to the right room, making his entrance a grand one as he stumbles into class, dropping his bag and effectively spilling half of its contents out all over the floor in front of everyone in the room.

 

There’s a few giggles as he quickly goes to gather his things off the ground, refusing to look up from his embarrassment. Once he’s got all his things off the ground, he stands up and looks around the room, expecting everyone to be staring at him, but no one is paying his clumsiness a bit of attention. They don’t care _who_ Louis is and it seriously throws Louis off.

 

The room is half empty as it is, and the people there are engrossed in their own conversations, and Louis feels like there’s several brick walls between him and every other person in sight.

 

At the front of the room, Louis spots a familiar face from earlier. He walks right over to her and sits in an empty chair next to her. When she notices him, he gives her a bright smile and sticks his hand out for her to shake

 

“Hi! I’m Louis.” He chirped, all friendly.

 

The girl scrunched her nose up, hazel-brown eyes dazzled with rose-gold eyeshadow as she looks at his outstretched hand as if it were covered in shit. Louis recognises the Cartier charm bracelet as the three beetled gold one he has himself, finding a topic of conversation as he begins to tell her he’s got the same jewelry set as her.

 

She squints at Louis in confused alarm and Louis briefly wonders if he actually just spoke words or unknowingly began barking at her like a dog. Because that’s how she’s looking at him.

 

Before she could say anything, another hand slammed on Louis’ desk in front of him, making him jump in surprise.

 

He looked up at its owner, the same chubby boy that was walking with the girl next to him, snuggled into each other as they walked to school this morning.

 

“Who the hell do you think you are chatting up _my_ girlfriend, mate?” The boy growled angrily. The color drained from Louis’ face

 

“I- I wasn’t- I didn’t mean to--trying to--” Louis stammered, but the chubby boy wasn’t hearing it.

 

He briefly looked to his _girlfriend._

 

“Is this dick bothering you, Jade?” He asks before looking back at Louis and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt.

 

“Get the fuck out of my seat.” He man handles Louis out of his chair then added as he shoves him away.

 

“Talk to her again and I’ll kick your ass.”

 

Louis did NOT need to be told twice. He scrambled to get out of his way, apologising as he squeezed by, careful not to bump into him.

 

“Seriously are you alright?” He asked Jade, digging his hand possessively into her waist, pulling her into him as he sat down.

 

“Who is this guy?”

 

She smiled at him.

 

“I’m fine Stan, _calm down_.” She assured him before he shoved his tongue into her mouth while she buried her hands into his hair.

 

They were giving each other a lung inspection that would make a doctor blush, tongues tangling sloppily, producing sickening smacks in the most disgusting display of affection Louis has ever witnessed.

 

“You lookin’ for a show?” a not so posh accent says from the back of the classroom. Louis looks over behind him.

 

“Excuse me?” He asks as he turns only to almost choke on his words.

 

This person was quite possibly the _prettiest_ thing Louis had ever seen.

 

Long, raven-black shiny hair, slicked back. Olive tone, tanned skin. Interesting fashion taste, wearing torn black skinny jeans and a vintage AC DC band-tee with his blazer and red Doc Martens. Not at all the dress code, but he had nice style.

 

He looks like a grudge artist that might hang out in underground tunnels and spray paint revolutionised messages about social justice on the walls to wake up the people of the world.

 

All Louis really can focus on is the fact that his face was obviously chiseled by God herself. He was _perfect_.

 

“I said, _are you looking for a show?”_ He repeated his words, gesturing towards the couple gagging on each others tongues in front of Louis, smirking at the dumbfounded look on his face.

 

“Uhh….” Louis’ brain turns to mush, which makes the pretty boy snort lightly along with a giggling blonde girl, a goth in lacy black clothes and even black eye make-up, sitting in front of him, playing with her hair as he props up his boots on his desk, still smirking at Louis.

 

These two aren’t following the dress code. Louis decides he shouldn’t talk to them.

 

But even as he thinks that now, all he can do is stare at him for a moment until the bell rings, snapping Louis back into reality. He quickly turns to try to find another desk, one as far away from Jade and Stan and he can but instead, he ends up colliding with what feels like a brick wall.

 

Scolding hot tea splashes all over his shirt and a woman in front of him shrieks.

 

“Fucking hell!” He swears from being burned.

 

In front of him, several papers grow wings and _fly_ from the hands of the women he collided with, all over the floor. Louis immediately helped her gather her things.

 

“Oh dear, I’m so sorry!” She apologises for burning him, bending down to help pick up her now tea stained documents.

 

“S’okay,” Louis said dismissively “I knocked over all your things so ‘s my fault really.” He assured her.

 

The class, now _full_ of students, erupt into laughter at the scene in front of them. Once they’d picked up the mess, the woman looked up at him.

 

“Thank you. You’re the new student right?” She squinted at one of the papers, ruined now.

 

“From… _India?”_

 

Louis nods, smiling.

 

“Yes! That’s me.” He said, realising she’s the teacher.

 

She returned his smile

 

“I’m Mrs. Flack.”

 

Then she turned to the rest of the class.

 

“Everyone, this is the new addition to our community I mentioned before. Lewis Tomlinson.” She announced. Everyone looks at him with blank expressions. Louis smiled awkwardly.

 

“Ummm,” He clears his throat, “It’s actually said like Louie.” He tries to clarify.

 

“Nice shirt.” The dark haired pretty boy in back called out, smiling as he leisurely twirled his girly friends blond hair in between his fingers, inciting more laughter from the class. Louis looked down at his shirt, marred with a big wet stain on the front. Mrs. Flack shushed the class.

 

“Malik, feet off the desk please,” She says as she walks behind her own desk.

 

The pretty boy, _Malik,_ ignores her request, continuing to keep his feet propped up casually, still watching Louis curiously like the rest of the class. He leans forward to whisper something into the ear of the goth girl his hand’s been playing with and they both giggle. Louis turns towards the teacher then.

 

“Can I go clean myself up?” He asks her, pointing at his shirt, looking more for an excuse to get out of this class immediately then anything else. She nods distractedly as she tries to organise the chaos on her desk. Louis decides this teacher is a mess and his predicament is _her_ fault.

 

He hurriedly exits the room, feeling all eyes on him still. Not the kind of eyes he likes.

 

Once he’s in the hallway, he realises he’s not sure where the toilets even are to actually get cleaned up and he’s definitely _not_ going back into that room. He decides again to go find it himself. He;s very decisive today. He also decides he can do without making more of a fool of himself, opting out of going back to class altogether.

 

Instead of the toilets, he finds something a little bit better; a lost and damaged bin a little ways away from the room.

 

Glancing around first to make sure no one is watching, Louis _dives_ into it, searching for less ugly and messy clothes, even ditching his bright red pants for some black joggers. He’s 100% sure this disaster start of the day is all coming from his tragic outfit.

 

He figured the better he blended in here, the better his day was going to go and that meant drawing as little attention as possible. Although, a kid scavenging through used clothes so desperately in the middle of a hallway was pretty attention grabbing. Even though class had started, there were still quite a few students walking around in the hallways. Louis ignored them staring at him, finding a nice plain white t-shirt to wear. He even found a brand new tie.

 

He changed right there in the middle of the hallway, despite who might’ve saw what. If he was gonna do this, he might as well go full-on. Satisfied with his new, tamed down look, he proceeded to stuff his old and damaged clothing into the bin.

 

That’s what is was there for right? It’s still worth a lot. Maybe they could give it to a charity.

 

After Louis puts his blazer back on, he was just about the start thinking what he was gonna start doing with the rest of the time he had left since he DEFINITELY wasn’t going back to that class but paused when he realised he was being watched.

 

Across the hall, a boy with blond hair and a camera up to his face was pointing it at him, to Louis’ absolute _horror_.

 

There was no mistaking that he’d just took photos of Louis stripping down in the hallway.

 

“Hey, wait!” Louis shouts but it’s useless. The boy had already got whatever he wanted, now walking away, down the hall in the opposite direction. Louis would’ve followed him but, decided against it in the end.

 

Maybe he wasn’t even looking at Louis. Oh who was he kidding, of course he was looking at Louis.

 

This day wouldn’t have it any other way. It couldn’t get worse than this right?

 

*

 

By the time the next bell rings, Louis thinks he has it down where to go for his next class, only to be swallowed in the hallway by the seemingly hundreds of kids that fill up _all_ the space from what the eye could see.

 

Although he wasn’t getting weird looks from his appearance anymore, he was definitely getting tossed about now as he tried to find his next class in the sea of endless teens. He can’t even find his P.E. class by the time the next bell rings, along with half of the next few classes he has. This school is much too big and it’s making Louis feel insignificant and small.

 

He sulks in a corner when he breaks out of the pack of traffic shoving him around, watching the cluster of students flit around in groups. He’d never felt so invisible and misplaced in his life.

 

By the time lunch rolls around, he’s beyond relieved, sick of walking around aimlessly and feeling out of place. The day was almost over and he still wasn’t at all close to making any friends or even properly attending any classes.

 

At least during lunch he could meet some people without fear of embarrassing himself again. Walking out to the cafe lawn, he inhales the fresh air, letting the clean breeze fill his lungs, giving him beach vibes and a burst of positive energy as he looks around for a place to sit and eat.

 

They could see the beach from here. It looks pretty empty actually. No one goes down to sit near it or even admire the view from the cliff Wellington hangs off of.

 

It’s just sitting there, unused. Like an expensive prop in a house someone just put there solely just to say they have it.

 

The first table he see’s, he approaches, ready to strike up a friendly conversation and maybe ask for some aid in direction around this place. Before he can say anything though, he stops dead in his tracks, close enough to the table to who is sitting there.

 

It feels like all that fresh air is being sucked out of his lungs then, heart thumping wildly as he sees yet _another_ familiar face here. The guy at the table looks up at him curiously before recognition flashes across his face

 

“Tomlinson?” He says, a dark smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

 

“Calvin,” Louis rasps in response, letting go of the strained breath.

 

Without another thought, he bolts back into the school, weaving through the crowds of students standing around. He doesn’t even pause to apologise to anyone he bumps into, even shoving some in his mad dash to get to somewhere less crowded, this time finding the restroom in no time at all.

 

Once he’s there, finally out of earshot of anyone else, he stands at the sink, looking at himself as he breathes heavily in front of the mirror, feeling himself verging on hyperventilating. He ignores when someone walks in, even ignores when they ask him if he’s alright, because, _no_ , he wasn’t alright.

 

The heart monitor strapped to his chest is just over 110 bpm. That wasn’t too far off from normal so he supposes he’s in no danger of passing out. But he might still be in danger being in this bloody school with _him._

 

He ends up eating his lunch sitting on a toilet, thinking about nothing but how much he regretted coming here.

 

He was here on a scholarship, his parents didn’t have to pay the full tuition. It wasn’t too late to drop out and retrieve to a cave.

 

The day had been an awful start as it was from the clothes thing and he could handle that just fine. But seeing Calvin here too… well, that completely shattered any confidence he had left to make it through the day. He can’t handle _him_.

 

After he finishes his lunch, he throws it back up in the trash, unable to keep it down because of all the rank smells, mixed with the sick revelation that he was back at the same school as his old childhood bully.

 

6 years after leaving Doncaster to travel abroad with his family, only to end up running into the worst possible person he could’ve possibly crossed paths with again. This day was absolute _trash_ , and he wasn’t even gonna let himself think it couldn’t get any worse anymore.

 

He still had to get home, and who knows what could happen in that time.

 

It was a bit of a surreal blur after he left the toilets. A stressful, surreal blur.

 

He couldn’t focus on anything or anyone, nervously glancing over his shoulder anytime he thought he heard Calvin’s voice. By the end, he couldn’t get home fast enough.

 

When the bell rings, he springs up from his chair and hastily makes his way to the exit only, to his horror, finds himself fast to face with Calvin Rodgers and a group of his friends in the hallway.

 

In his mind, Louis is _fucked_ **.**

 

Calvin smiles down at him disdainfully, still got that same unnerving glint in his eye he had when they were 10 that makes him look a little soulless. Well, when Louis was 10. Calvin was about 12 or 13.

 

“Would you believe this guys? It’s my old pal from up North, Lewis fucking Tomlinson.” He tuts, purposefully saying Louis’ name wrong as he introduces him to his friends, his friendly tone as fake as his smile. Louis is frozen in fear, not responding at all

 

“How’ve you been pal? That was pretty damn rude of you earlier, running off before we had a chance to catch up.” Calvin frowns in mock hurt “If I didn’t know any better, I’d’ve thought you were _avoiding_ me.”

 

Louis’ mouth pops open, unsure of what to really say or do.

 

Afterall, he _was_ avoiding him, seeing that the last time they saw each other, Louis was being sent to the hospital after getting the living shit kicked out of him by Calvin and his posse. Louis lets out of nervous laugh

 

“I..uh.. I was really late to class. I would’ve chatted longer if I knew how to get around this bloody labyrinth of a school.” he says shakily, slowly backing himself out of the corner Calvin has him in

 

“Different from our old private school, isn’t it?” Calvin nudges him pretty roughly so he’ll agree, Louis nods.

 

“Speaking of different,” Calvin’s friendly persona slowly melts away, back into the monster Louis grew up fearing,

 

“Are you still a fucking _queer_ or did I beat it out of you well enough?”

 

Louis winces at his words, glancing behind him too see the main exit just down the hall. Louis wasn’t one to get into any fights but life on the road taught him a few more tricks than he knew, and being cornered by a childhood menace wasn’t something he was gonna let get him down any longer.

 

“Well Cal,” Louis starts sweetly, willing the fear out of his voice.

 

“If you really want to know, we could always catch up properly sometime throughout the year, and talk about what the life of a queer is like, although I’m sure you probably know well enough on your own without my help.” He finishes with a wink.

 

Calvin’s face transform from menacingly smiling to absolute disgust

 

“Are you calling me a _queer,_ queer?” he growls, lunging forward towards Louis, who is much too fast for him. Louis ducks out of the way swiftly, sticking out one leg behind him, making Calvin trip to the ground.

 

“Actually, you can call me Louis, but I’m sure you still remembered the name by now,” He quips over his shoulder before sprinting away from a livid Calvin and his stunned friends.

 

Louis ran like Forrest Gump.

 

He ran with all his might down the hallway to the golden doors that would lead to his freedom from this abominable place, getting a few shouts in protest each time he shoved anyone. Louis didn’t care who he shoved as long as it meant he was getting the entire fuck out of here, as far away from Wellington as he could.

 

Once he was around the corner and blocks away from school, he finally slowed to a walk, bending over with his hands on his knees, prepared to eject his lungs from his body. Once he caught his breath, he slid down the side of the red telephone booth he was leaning against, ready to call for the end of this day.

 

“Have you got a light?” some random man asks from in front of him, glancing around them repeatedly. Louis only shook his head. When the man didn’t go away, Louis stands up, dusting himself off.

 

“Can I help you with something?” He supplies. He didn’t like the look of this guy, who glances around again.

 

He doesn’t look like someone who belongs on this side of town.

 

Not to be stuck up but, Louis thinks he looks like a bum. Once he sees there’s no one else around, he pulls out a switchblade

 

“Yeah, gimme your bag!” he demands. Louis’ hands immediately shoot up, backing into the wall as the fear hits him again like a fist to his gut.

 

_This can’t be happening. This can’t be happeni-_

 

“I said, give me your fuckin’ bag!” The crook yells even louder. Louis’ heart is racing at an increasingly alarming rate.

 

Now was definitely _not_ the time to pass out.

 

“Look man, I haven’t got any money!” He frantically squeaks. The man holds the blade up to Louis and holds out his hand, making Louis nearly wee himself at how recklessly he wields this thing. One jab in the neck and Louis is gone.

 

“I didn’t ask yeh fucking twat! Give me your fuckin’ bag or I’ll shank yeh!”

 

Louis doesn’t even know what he said. He tosses his bag at the ground before he says thanks, bounding off with Louis’ new school bag, practically empty.

 

Louis takes off himself in the opposite direction without stopping, not even once to catch his breath this time until he is all the way in his house, only pushed along further by the adrenaline coursing through his veins, pumping his screaming lungs and aching legs enough to get him the fuck out of here.

 

When he finally gets home, the wave of relief he desperately needs never comes, instead being drowned off with the loud thumping in his head. He startled his mum and dad in the living room when he runs in the house, slamming the door behind him.

 

He can barely hear them over the thumping, but he’s sure they’re asking something along the lines of how his first day went.

 

_‘Well, I almost got hit by a massive truck, missed a majority of my classes, stole some clothes after burning my skin, vomited everything I ate, ran into my old friend Calvin, almost got my ass kicked and, oh yeah, got robbed about 10 minutes ago. It was a fantastic first day!’_

 

He doesn’t say any of that. If he said even just one of those things, he’d be pulled out of public school and slammed back in homeschool faster than he could blink, and Louis didn’t want that either.

 

Not yet anyways. This was his first day and he doesn’t back off a challenge so easily. He wasn’t sure if that made him an idiot, crazy or both. Instead, he gives them a generic, “First day first day of school was great.” with no further explanation or chance to ask anything else as he quickly runs upstairs, narrowly missing the twins playing at the top, desperate to get to bed before he passes out.

 

He could feel the strained hours of emotional stress weighing down on him heavily.

 

Today was intense, and he knew he was definitely about to pass out for a good 12 hours but he fell on his bed with a final thought embedded deeply in his mind. Tomorrow was a new day and he learned all he needed from today on what to and not to do. He wasn’t gonna get caught off guard like this again. Not over his dead body.

 

That night, amidst his stress induced coma, Louis has a strange dream.

 

In it, he’s trapped in the school, running around endless hallways, terrified and suffocating in the slew of people standing around, in his way as he tries to find some way out, any way out of this HELL.

 

He’s running around in circles, and he can’t breathe. Just as he feels his last breath coming out, and the end approaching, the ground beneath his feet he’s been running on crumbles and he’s falling off what feels like a cliff. Down below him, it’s all blue, the clear waters of the beach, so he squeezes his eyes shut, waiting to hit the water and drown… but it never comes.

 

In fact, he stops falling altogether, realizing he’s not falling at all but flying, and the blue isn’t water but the skyline above it.

 

He lets out a big laugh, full of fresh air, flowing through him like a river, and suddenly, he thinks his horrible day at school wasn’t so horrible afterall. He’s flying and he’s free and he’s so _so_ happy in the dream.

 

By the end of it, he thinks he picks someone up off the ground, and flies around with a partner, laughing like a madman but, when he wakes up, he can’t remember the ending.

 

Louis feels kind of sad he can’t remember his entire dream. All he knows is, he felt the happiest moment he thinks he’s ever experienced while flying. And also… for some reason, it feels… important, although he can’t quite place why. Nonetheless, whatever that dream was about, the happiness in his belly carries onto the next day, inspiring him to have faith in his goal of conquering Wellington, even if it kills him. Louis isn’t a quitter, and it will take a whole lot more than some childhood bully to scare him off this time.

 

The next day, Louis wakes up with a resolve to forget the previous day ever happened. He wills it out of existence. This was his first day. Afterall, he hadn’t made any impressions for anyone to tell him differently so why not?

 

Although, given that he has remarkably abnormal memory capabilities, forgetting that yesterday happened was going to be impossible. But, he didn’t care. This was gonna be Louis’ new and _official_ first day and it was gonna be done right.

 

He spends an extra amount of time preening himself before leaving. He noticed the kids at this school seemed to be impeccably stylish, even almost completely disregarding the dress code aside from the vests, skirts and ties.

 

So Louis chose some black calvin klein skinnies and a designer YSL t-shirt with an exploding man head on the front from their new spring collection (with a jacket and his school tie to keep the dress code) along with white chuck taylors with a custom Bob Marley ironed on each side. He sprays a dash of chanel No.5, his favourite perfume that made him feel like Marilyn Monroe, and styles his fringe, carefully placing strands into a purposefully messy side sweep, all wispy and fluffy.

 

Yesterday, he looked like an immature sunday school boy. Today, whatever the day was gonna be like, at least he could say that his look was on point. He finally looked like himself.

 

_Rich._

 

When he joined his family for breakfast, feeling extra chipper, his mum made a delicious display of bacon and chocolate chip waffles which ended up turning to a war of who got the most chocolate chips between his 5 little sisters.

 

It was looking to be a nice day with the sun shining through the sky light panelled on the roof of his house, illuminating the dining room. Yes, this was Louis’ chance to redeem himself. The stars all aligned last night and he could feel the vibe of the day already, filling him up like the air from the beach was reaching inside the house to push him out the door, swept up into the wind and brought to the steps of his school instead of taking the bus. Like taking the beach instead.

 

After breakfast, he makes hast getting to school, having to wing it without his bag, which only had about 80 pounds in it.

 

The bag itself was worth at least _300_ though. He sighs, deciding to go to a shop after school to get another one although, his parents were definitely gonna notice if he had an extra 300 pounds charged to his card, which would lead to questions, and questions would lead to answers Louis couldn’t give them without lying about being robbed. They didn’t mind how he spent his money as long as they knew what he was doing with it. Louis was a good liar, but that didn’t mean he liked doing it. So he’d have to get a cheaper bag… great.

 

The walk to school was relaxing though.

 

He felt at ease, no worrying about what lied ahead. Even his heart palpitations, still beating a mile a minute as always, seemed to have found a steady rhythm today. But, it speeds up when he hears a loud cackle of laughter ahead of him, coupled with a string of giggles.

 

He looks up ahead to find the source, immediately spotting two familiar boys a little ways up the pavement, one with his funny curled in feet at the end of his lanky legs.

 

They were jostling around, wrestling as they walked up the main road, the brown curls and the other one, blonde, stuck in a headlock. They were wearing identical football uniforms with their last names on their backs:

 

 **STYLES #28** for the curly on, **HORAN #1** for the blonde.

 

Louis kind of wanted to join the football team.

 

He’d been playing his whole life, although he’d never been able to play on a proper school team on the account of him never going to a real, public school until now.

 

His mother probably wouldn't allow it though, with his heart _._

 

His thoughts about football were halted though because the two boys in front of him were rough housing on the pavement and it was… distracting, to say in the least. When he gets closer, he hears Horan shout,

 

“Fuck off Haz, fucking _cunt_. Let go of me!” his irish accent thick and playful, before wriggling himself free.

 

Styles lets out another loud cackle, throwing his head back and clapping as he laughed, trying to stifle himself with a hand over his mouth without much success and Louis doesn’t think he’s ever heard a more _marvelously_ fascinating thing.

 

Louis finds himself smiling at the sight of it but he quickly looks averts his gaze as he walks around them, stuck laughing behind him. He didn’t think a couple of jocks would appreciate being gawked at by the new gay kid.

 

One of the most important things Louis learned in all his years was that advertising the fact that he was very fond of boys to the wrong people was the fastest way to getting his ass beat. When he was 10, right before his family went abroad, his last month in Doncaster would always be ingrained in his brain forever.

 

He always had lots of friends but one in particular gave him a goodbye message right before they left. His name was Calvin Rodgers he was Louis’ best mate. They went to the same private school but they also lived next door to each other, grew up together, and always hung out and played together.

 

Calvin was 2 years older than Louis though so he kind of looked up to him like an older brother. Around the time Calvin discovered porn, he and Louis would sneak and watch it on the internet, although Louis didn’t understand it, he always went along with whatever Calvin did. One particular day, Louis finally admitted that he wasn’t really into it, watching two girls kiss and make out, which made Calvin accused Louis of being gay who was already aware this fact and thought it was open knowledge.

 

_“Aren’t you gay?”_

 

He doesn’t know what happened or _why_ that seemed to make Calvin so angry, but Calvin went absolutely insane at that. It was like he was suddenly possessed. Louis’ best-friend, pretty much his older brother, lashed out and attacked Louis, telling him he needed to teach him a lesson.

 

Everyday after that, he told Louis he had to “beat the gay out of him” up until the day he left.

 

His parents never knew about it.

 

It was easy for Louis to lie and say his black eye was from wrestling with his friends, or some other excuse. Calvin didn’t really hurt Louis physically (they were both shrimps) so much as he did emotionally. He’d just hit him in the same place until it hurt. The last day, he got all their friends to participate as well and Louis had to lie and tell he parents he was jumped by strangers.

 

Calvin was the kind of child that killed frogs and rabbits for fun so in hindsight, Louis could see his psychopathic tendencies were just in his nature.

 

When he left Doncaster, he was relieved he’d never see Calvin again since he was pretty sure he was never gonna like girls. He didn’t have to worry about Calvin trying to beat the gay out of him for the rest of his life.

 

He never had to come out to his parents. He doesn’t actually remember ever not knowing he was gay. It’s all he’s ever known. He always told his mother he was gonna marry a man someday and she’d just nod along with an absent smile, reading her magazine on whatever new couch they had just bought.

 

He’s not planning on being in the closet but he is taking precaution. That and his heart are about the only things Louis is ever careful about.

 

Louis kept walking, hands in pockets casually, still relaxed as he ignores the boys dicking around behind him. Except, when Louis walked by, he would’ve seen that #28’s eyes followed him down the path if he wasn’t determined to ignore them. Followed him all the way up into the school until he disappears in the crowd.

 

“Oy! Earth to _Harry!”_

 

Harry snaps out of it, like he was in some type of trance.

 

“What did you say?” He asks dumbly. Niall snorts.

 

“I said do you know him or summat?”

 

Harry shakes his head, still looking in the direction the kid with the sweet smelling perfume disappeared off to.

 

“Not… really?” Harry says, unsure as if he’s almost asking himself if he knew him, lost in thought for a moment until Niall suddenly pushes him over, causing him to nearly fall into oncoming traffic as his old red converses tear a little on the side of the curb.

 

When he regains his balance, he glares at Niall laughing at his shoes.

 

“What’s wrong with you? I could’ve died just then!” He shouts, shoving Niall, who only shrugs.

 

“Well, that snapped you out of it didn’t it? Jesus Haz. You’ve been so lost in your head lately. I really wish we hadn’t gone to Kenny’s party.” Niall says the last bit to himself but, Harry didn’t hear him anyways.

 

That guy… there was something… familiar about him. Like deja vu.

 

He can’t stop thinking about it as they walk into school, only hearing Niall when he announces he’s gonna go find Tom before heading off. Harry shakes his head regretfully at that.

 

Niall “finding” Tom meant that his “not my boyfriend” was angry at him for probably blowing him off and Niall had to come up with some bullshit excuse as to _why_ he blew him off, the real reason actually being because Niall was probably hooking up with some girl.

 

This will lead to Tom forgiving Niall, and even feeling guilty for being angry with him in the first place, leading to guilt sex, leading to _more_ guilt sex, ending with Tom finding out the truth and feeling like shit.

 

They have this little toxic routine rehearsed.

 

There’s was a lot Harry disapproved of with Niall but the most by far had to be how Niall treated Tom, his best-friend/not - my - boyfriend - because - I’m - aromatic.

 

There was nothing Harry could do about it though. The trials of Niall and Tom dated back to before Harry even met Niall. All he could do was hope that everything would just work itself out on its own, which is a really lousy notion to live by given the state of their lives right now.

 

Harry shakes his head as he goes off to the football field to practice alone. That was enough existentialist brain tease for the morning. He had enough on his mind as it was.

  
  
Inside Wellington, Louis day was continuing his golden streak of the day, starting with his first real encounter with the locals. An interesting meeting with a couple that everyone called “Zerrie”.

 


	3. ii. Louis meets Zerrie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis makes some new friends who educate him on Wellington. And offer help in a few other departments as well if he's down for it.

 

 

 

**Louis Pov**

 

 

_ **Tuesday** _

 

 

Day 2 (or 1 in Louis’ mind) of school got off to a particularly interesting start. Entering homeroom today was far less disastrous as the first time.

 

First off, he actually finds a seat right away, or it found _him_ rather.

 

“Oy, new kid;” the beautiful boy at the back called as he began to sit in the front.

 

Louis’ insides groaned with his back turned for a moment before he plasters a smile on and looks back at him.

 

He’s still wearing that smirk, beckoning for Louis to come back to where is his. For some reason, Louis goes on and makes his way over. It may have a little to do with the fact that Jade and her boyfriend have entered the room and he’d rather not run into a bad run with them again, not that they’d notice him anyways.

 

They’re tongues must secrete glue.

 

At first, he was thinking this guy just screamed _trouble_ but he was honestly too beautiful to be trying to avoid and admired from a distance. He would gladly bathe in the attention of beautiful boys, and this one in particular seemed to quite like giving Louis his attention.

 

Louis sat right next to him, and _man_ was he even prettier up close.

 

Louis glances between him and the blonde girl in front of him. They were both watching Louis curiously. Maybe a little too curiously, almost like they were trying to figure him out. Louis isn’t put off by it at all. There wasn’t that much to figure out. He’s very friendly.

 

“Hi.” Louis chirps brightly, propping his arm up on his desk so he could sit his chin in his hand.

 

“Is that your natural eye colour?” The boy asks, staring intently into Louis’ eyes, his own green eyes sparkling in the morning sunlight streaming in from the window next to him. Or maybe they were doing that on their own.

 

The girl snorts, scoffing at him.

 

“What a _ridiculous_ question to ask someone!” She laughs, but he only shrugs. Louis smiles brightly and nods.

 

“They’re _gorgeous_ ,” He says, openly leering at Louis now. His eyes flit over him briefly. Louis was taken off guard by the gesture.

 

 _‘Is he…_ flirting _with me?’_

 

He didn’t even get the chance to finish the thought as the boy's hands were suddenly yanking Louis’ face forward, angling him towards the light more so their cheeks are side by side, squished together.

 

“What do you think of blue on me Pez?” He asks.

 

Louis wants to laugh at the bizarre situation. He doesn’t mind being manhandled by pretty boys. She looks at their side by side faces, giving her answer genuine thought.

 

“I’d say you’d look lovely. But honestly, I think your natural eye colour is much better.” She compliments him with a cheesy smile as she reaches out and squeezes his nose fondly. He lets go of Louis then, still watching him with a smirk.

 

“ _Lovely,_ she says.” He repeats, and Louis laughs.

 

There’s something about his voice that doesn’t sound quite real. Like a song.

 

There’s an invitation to somewhere with each ending and the only way for Louis to know where is to ask. Louis thinks that’s why he wants to ask this boy everything as long as he gets an invitation to wherever he’s offering.

 

“So you want blue eyes then?” He asks.

 

He only shrugs with his seemingly permanent smirk. It looks good on him, like an accessorised piece of jewelry. Especially when he flashes his perfectly white teeth.

 

“Well what’s wrong with green? I think green is a much more interesting colour.”

 

“D’you _like_ green eyes?” He asks, a bit suggestively, and Louis isn’t quite sure if it’s even eye colour they’re talking about here. The girl clears her throat loudly, breaking Louis’ gaze after a moment too long of just staring at each other.

 

“Z's eyes aren’t really green. Coloured contacts.” She explains. “It’s a psychological mind game. You can’t see him if you can’t see his eyes.”

 

Z rolls his eyes to the ceiling at her claims.

 

“Any other all seeing knowledge you wanna drop, Freude?”

 

Louis looks back at him and examines his features.

 

He’s _remarkably_ handsome.

 

His face is perfectly symmetrical with bone structure that could seriously make him a model, along with his long dark eyelashes that fan out over his big, almond shaped eyes. The kind of pretty that’s effeminate and soft, like a girl. It doesn’t seem like he puts very much effort into it at all. Even with his ripped jeans and old boots, it all seemed so effortless.

 

He’d look good if his eyes were red with orange polka dots in them as far as Louis could tell.

 

“Your eyes are very pretty.” Louis utters simply, instead of saying all the details.

 

The look he is giving him is making Louis want to squirm away. It’s like he’s seeing right through him, under his clothes. Maybe that’s what he’s picturing even, which is… _heated_. They stare at each other for a beat before Louis looks back at the girl after she clears her throat, again, this time even louder.

 

“I’m Perrie by the way. This is Zayn.” She says, her smile friendly, although the way she pinches Zayn in the arm as she introduces him... not so friendly. It distracts Zayn enough for him to finally look at her, smiling innocently.

 

“She’s my hag.” Zayn says, looking back at Louis in a way that makes him a little… uncomfortable on the account of Perrie clearly not liking it at all.

 

“Your _hag_?” Louis asks, a little confused.

 

“Yeah. Fag hag. Z's the fag half.” Perrie explains and Louis immediately tenses up.

 

He’s been called that word enough and beaten up after to have a bit of an aversion to anyone who just casually uses it. Zayn doesn’t react to it at all though.

 

“I’m Louis.” He spits out quickly, then adds “I really like your hair” while looking at Perrie, to change the subject. Perrie and Zayn both light up at the compliment.

 

“Thanks, I did it last friday!” She beams, delighted at the compliment.

 

The ends of her hair fade from blonde waves to pale pink in a sort of fuchsia ombre effect. Whether to change the subject or not, Louis does genuinely love her hair. Her dark style contrasts with it and it _works_.

 

“Did you help?” Louis asks, addressing Zayn who has begun twirling a loose strand of Perrie’s hair in between his fingers.

 

“No. I was busy Friday.” He says without any indication to explain further.

 

“...busy?” Louis repeats. Zayn smirks and nods.

 

“Yeah. _Busy._ ”

 

“You don’t want to know what _‘busy’_ means.” Perrie says with a roll of the eye. Louis grins.

 

“Oh, is it something _naughty_?” He teases jokingly.

 

Zayn rubs his hand over his jaw and chin, smirking again lazily as his other hand casually holds over the crotch of his black jeans while he leans and the gesture makes Louis’... lower half twitch a bit. He licks his lips a little as he watches Zayn absently hold this _pose_ while he’s watching Louis as well _._

 

This boy was a _demon_ and he was going to ruin Louis’ life if he continues to sit here and talk to him. And Louis is gonna _let him._

 

“Depends on your definition of of ‘ _naughty_ ’.” He finally says with the obligatory quirk in his eyebrows.

 

If Louis thought he was the prince of casual flirting, Zayn was definitely on the throne as king.

 

“I’m more interested in hearing your definition, actually.” He says sweetly, propping his arms back up on his desk to sit his chin in, the perfect picture of innocence Louis was far from.

 

“I’m not very good with words but, I could show you some time later if you like.” Zayn retorts, equally sweet and innocent like they’re discussing trading baking recipes and not joking about hooking up.

 

That is _if_ they were joking right now. Louis honestly can’t if Zayn is joking with these innuendos or not. He’d be down regardless.

 

“Your place or mine?” Louis bites his lip over his smile when Zayn’s eyebrows shoot up in amusement.

 

Clearly, he wasn’t expecting Louis to be able to keep up the banter. Louis could flirt with the best of them though. This was hardly a challenge, except for Perrie being right there. Before Zayn can respond, she glares at him, annoyed with his antics.

 

“Could you at least pretend to act like a civilised human being and do this when I’m not around?” She complains to Zayn ,and Louis instantly dimmers a little.

 

What the hell had gotten into him, flirting openly with some guy with his fucking girlfriend right there? Well, this wasn’t the first time to be honest but… still, it didn’t make him feel any better about it.

 

“Now can you cut it out for a just a _second_? I’m trying to hear the announcements.” She hissed.

 

Louis hadn’t even noticed the booming voice over the intercom in the room. He breaks the staring contest with Zayn to focus on the voice informing everyone of the daily news regarding Wellington High.

 

“... _and quick shouts out to Niall Horan & Stanley Lucas for taking us to victory on Friday 3-zip, _”

 

His voice is so upbeat and happy sounding, Louis can’t help smiling as he listens

 

 _“Also to Harry Styles and Andy Samuels for raising 5.000 pounds for the blood drive conducted by student council. Tom Harlock in photography for his short film making it to the Tribeca film festival next month, and last but_ **_certainly_ ** _not least,_ ” he puts emphasis on the word certainly

 

“ _Zayn Malik and Perrie Edwards for their gorgeous art piece making yearbook cover this year!_ ”

 

Louis joins in on the congratulatory shouts for Zayn and Perrie and the other students in the room that got shout outs on the announcements.

 

 _“Well done guys. And that’s all we’ve got for the day. This has been your very own valedictorian Liam Payne delivering your daily announcements. Have a lovely rest of your day Wellington!”_ He signs off curtly.

 

Everyone resumes they’re conversations. Perrie lets out a deep breath.

 

 _“God_ if he bragged about being Valedictorian any longer I would’ve plunged my bloody eyes out!” Perrie complains, shaking her head at Louis.

 

Louis looks at Zayn, who's been doodling on his textbook with intent focus, not even paying attention to the announcements.

 

“Are you guys artists?” Louis asks them, tilting his head curiously. Zayn blinks up at him, coming back from his zone out.

 

“Yeah, Pez is a _great_ graphic designer. She’s gonna be an architect one day, creating the pictures of what greater London is gonna look like in the _future_.” He raves now as he cheeses at Perrie.

 

“I’m not nearly as talented as 'm. Z drew out most of it. I coloured it in.”

 

“But the way you swirl the colours together and make love to the canvas… I _could never,_ ” Zayn says all sultry and low as he leans in close to Perrie like he’s about to kiss her but Perrie giggles and pushes him away right before their lips touch.

 

“You’re gonna sell out _galleries_ babe.” he finishes fondly.

 

Perrie is blushing as they exchange a look that Louis almost feels like he’s imposing on a private moment for watching. So, to save himself the awkward third wheel feeling in his gut, he looks away.

 

Just as he does, he happens to see someone else walk into the room at that exact moment, looking neat and polite. He’s the first person here Louis has seen wearing the full school uniform to a perfect tee, slacks, and neat tie and a white button up shirt with his black blazer.

 

He looks around the room briefly, searching for someone.

 

“Excuse me,” he says loudly to get everyone’s attention. “I’m looking for a Lewis Tomlinson?” He asks, and Louis instantly recognises his voice as the one from the announcements just now,

 

_‘Valedictorian Liam Payne’._

 

His voice sounds exactly the way he looks: Attractive, posh and buoyant. He vaguely reminds Louis of a gentleman who might’ve lived in the 50s once with his pompadour hair.

 

He’s got his own style too despite the uniform.

 

“Umm… it’s said like Louie.” Louis corrects Liam. He strides over to Louis, just radiating confidence and coolness.

 

“Right. Louis, my mistake.” He says when he gets to the back of the room, pausing when he notices Zayn and Perrie next to Louis.

 

He looks totally shocked to see them at first before he breaks out into a smile that is so bright, Louis is sure he should be wearing sunglasses to look at him.

 

“Hi Lima.” Perrie says friendly, and Liam nods at her and looks at Zayn, who doesn’t look up or say anything.

 

“So what can I do for you?” Louis says, bringing Liam’s attention back to what he came here for although, as he talks to Liam, his eyes keep wandering back to Zayn tentatively.

 

“I’m president of the National Honours society here at Wellington but seeing that you’re new, you probably have no idea what that is,”

 

Louis shakes his head.

 

Liam goes on the explain how the National Honours Society (or NHS) are an all honours club for students with extraordinary academic qualities that compete in merit competitions throughout the year and get a chance to win scholarships to universities abroad, and other perks in that fashion.

 

They only pick a select few from the school that have the highest scores.

 

Liam was here, as President, to present Louis with a personal invite to join, handing him a very official looking document addressed to him. He wasn’t quite surprised at this. He knew his test scores were really high so, he was expecting something like this at some point, just not so quickly.

 

“Wow, that sounds like an amazing opportunity, thanks!” Louis gushes, although he doesn’t really mean it.

 

Louis’ been around the whole world and back 8 times and he already knows what school he wants to go to for higher education later. Oxford, then he’s continued to do philanthropic work like his dad does after. His future was already planned out in his head.

 

He thinks he’s gonna stay a home for much longer now. But, he graciously accepts it anyways flashing the thing at Perrie and Zayn excitedly. Perrie gives him a nice pat at his side, equally delighted for him but Zayn doesn’t.

 

In fact, Zayn looks the complete opposite of happy right now with his hard, blank expression and he hasn’t said a word to Liam, who's still hovering at Louis’ desk still looking at Zayn hesitantly.

 

“Hiya Pez. Zayn.” he says in a hopeful tone.

 

His smile is very off to Louis, not at all bright like before. Zayn only nods before becoming incredibly interested in Louis’ invitation, reaching over and scooping it out of Louis’ hand. He hasn’t even looked at Liam once. Perrie gives him a soft smile, almost like she’s apologising for Zayn’s… strangely unfriendly behaviour.

 

“You alright, Lima?” She offers after a particularly awkward silence.

 

Louis isn’t sure if he’s imagining the tension. Liam looks down at his shiny black shoes, that confidence he walked in with slowly getting dimmer and dimmer.

 

“Yeah….” He says, then looks at the invite in Zayn’s hands, addressing Louis again.

 

“You don’t actually have to come if you don’t want to by the way. All we do is study and help around the community. It's actually quite boring.” He punctuates it with forced, nervous laughter.

 

“Sounds interesting enough.” Louis shrugs.

 

“Its _really_ not.” Liam insists and Louis squints at him.

 

“Are you suggesting I shouldn’t join?” He questions, confused. Liam shoves his hands in his pockets and shrugs.

 

“I’m just warning you that this invite isn’t a mandate but if you do come, don’t expect to have too much fun. It’s all your choice.”

 

“Liam!” A pretty girl with green eyes and dark brown hair yells from the door, also in her proper uniform unlike most of the girls Louis' seen here with their short skirts almost leaving their asses out.

 

Louis thinks either way looked good.

 

“What the hell are you doing? Give him the thing and let’s go!” She commands in annoyance.

 

There’s another awkward pause of Liam standing there, bouncing on his heels like he isn’t sure of what to do next. His nervousness is even making Louis nervous.

 

Zayn is still _very_ concentrated on the slip of paper.

 

If there was anything that wasn’t that interesting here, it was that slip of paper.

 

Louis gives Liam a friendly smile when he looks back at him. He doesn’t return it.

 

“LIAM!” the brunette hisses from the door.

 

“Alright Sofia, God!” Liam hisses back, rolling his eyes as he finally backs away.

 

“See you guys around.” Liam says to them.

 

“Cheers!” Louis says back as he moves towards the exit.

 

Liam only looks back once, frowning before he leaves. Louis thinks he must imagine that as well. He looks back at Perrie and Zayn with confusion all over his face.

 

“What in the hell was that?”

 

“Looks like they think you’re some kind of genius.” Zayn answers, sliding the invitation back onto his desk even though that clearly isn’t what Louis is referring to.

 

“They don’t let just anyone into NHS. Most people have to apply and it takes almost a _year_ to be accepted.” Perrie explains further.

 

Louis was talking about the whole exchange with the Liam guy, but Zayn’s attitude was way less chipper now. Louis didn’t think it fit him very well. He’s quiet for the rest of the class period while Perrie and Louis chat about her with art club and other things without mentioning the NHS thing any further.

 

Before the bell rings, Louis asks if they can direct him to the health and p.e. department after how he’d pretty much got lost yesterday and missed a majority of his classes. Perrie takes a look at his schedule then glances at Zayn with this mischievous smile.

 

“I think that’s in the auxiliary gym by the back building, right Zaynie?” Perrie says. Zayn squints at her, confused for a second before his face breaks out into a wide smile, finally lighting up again.

 

“Oh yeah, yeah. The back building. _We’ll_ take you there, Lewis.” He says with a wink in his voice and a twinkle in his eye. They’re both smiling brightly at Louis. He was only hoping for them to give him directions but, they were offering to walk with him, which was even better.

 

“Oh wow, thanks. I’d really appreciate that!” He says, all excited before adding a quick,

 

“It’s said like Louie by the wa--”

 

“We’ll only take you if you can answer one question correctly.” Perrie says over him now as she leans over her desk for her back sitting at her black and white Chuck Taylor’s that look like they’ve been dragging across the road a few times.

 

While she rummages through her bag, Louis and Zayn resume the heated stares again, Zayn swiping his index finger along the underline of his bottom lip as he licks over them lightly, eyes trailing down Louis’ body and Louis wants to bust it wide open and let him break his back in _half_.

 

He swallows a thick lump when Zayn’s eyes meet his again with a question in his brows.

 

_Do you really want to go to class right now?_

 

Louis shakes his head _no,_ as if they’re communicating telepathically.

 

“Is this a beach or a farce?” Perrie’s voice barges into Louis’ face, making him jolt as his neck whips his head to look down at his desk, where she'd put a pretty painting in front of him, signed with _Zerrie_.

 

Her obscure question overshadows Zayn’s silent suggestion after she’s pulled a painting from her bag.

 

It’s very detailed, no bigger that a sheet out of notebook on a thick slab of cartridge paper.

 

Waves are woven together with oil, colours crashing together on the shore against the horizon where the water on the surface is reflecting gold back at the sky that’s holding a serene sunset with a big, orange hued, half-disk settling into ambiente.

 

“Wow, this is _beautiful,”_ He murmurs.

 

“That’s not an option.” Perrie’s voice brings him back to her.

 

“What was the question?” He squints.

 

Perrie leans forward a bit, pointing to the remake of Wellington expertly crafted on his desk.

 

“Is this a beach…” She repeats slowly before looking up at Louis now.

 

“Or a _farce?”_ her face is so serious now. Louis feels like the weight of this question might shift the whole world.

 

“We can’t show you the backbuilding if you answer incorrectly.” Zayn adds for her in a sort of sarcastic tone.

 

Louis weighs each answer in his head in 5 seconds.

 

It _is_ a beach. It’s Wellington. But Wellington is made up so… it’s also a farce. And so this is a trick question because the answer is both.

 

“Neither.” Louis smiles.

 

Both Perrie and Zayn pull identical confused looks, their eyebrows coming together almost in synch and the moment almost throws him off because the actually look like they could be brother and sister for a split second there.

 

Almost.

 

“Neither?” Perrie repeats now, shaking her head.

 

“No, that’s not the right--”

 

Zayn holds his hand up, silencing Perrie immediately as he looks at Louis, making her stop talking right then and there. His head quirks the side slightly as he sits up instead of continuing to slouch back, like he gets into his _real_ posture. Straight up.

 

“Then what _is_ it?” He asks Louis slowly, like he’s intrigued.

 

Louis looks back at the painting, lifting it up in front of all three of them as he turns in his chair so they can all admire it.

 

“It’s _art.”_ He tells them as they both tilt their heads sideways as well, taking in the replicated scenery.

 

Zayn leans in to get a closer look although his eyes aren’t on the painting. His lips are almost touching Louis’ ear when he asks,

 

_“What is art?”_

 

His lashes flutter against Louis, and he shivers a little as he trembles into a smile.

 

“Art is…. whatever you interpret it to be.” He exhales, feeling Zayn’s breath smoothing down the side of his neck, finding it’s place on his body.

 

“Whether you see a beach or a farce or mixed paint and oil on a slab of paper.” He continues with a shrug of his shoulders.

 

“Whatever you see when you look at it is what it becomes.”

 

Perrie looks over at the two of these grinning boys, narrow her eyes at Zayn’s face almost perpendicular to Louis’s now as he starts to hold the back of Louis’ chair with his eyes on him as he inches closer.

 

His voice dips into his invitation again.

 

_“And… what do you see?”_

 

Louis finally turns his head to look at Zayn now with his lips tucked in, biting back a smile from the seductive minx he’s inhaling in. His heart is _pounding,_ and his eyes are falling on Zayn’s lips that wouldn’t take much space to close the gap between his own.

 

_“...sex.”_

 

The word slides itself out all on it’s own as if Zayn conjured some magic in his brain and pulled out his thoughts like unravelling a ball of yarn. When Zayn’s brows rise, Louis’ eyes bulge when he realises he just said that outloud.

 

“On the beach!” He blurts now before he turns his head back with his eyes squeezed shut and his heart jitters inside even more.

 

 _“Sex on the beach,”_ He repeats quickly. “It’s this drink the c-colours sort of reminds me of--”

 

Perrie snatches the painting out of his hand as she glares at Zayn, who’s eyes flit from Louis over to her now finally. Louis looks at her too as he turns around, flustered himself as his heated body tries to cool off now that Zayn’s heated eyes are on someone else.

 

“The answer is _farce.”_ She says to both of them.

 

 _“Wellington is a farce.”_  

 

She shows him her painting now, pointing to the surface of the water that’s been painted gold to match the sky.

 

“Never mind _this,”_ She says dismissively, pointing further below the painting to the waves crashing into each other on the sand instead, a juxtaposition to the tranquility of the sunset it’s underneath.

 

“This beach is our school.” She explains the true meaning of her work that Louis is beginning to think might be the piece that won this years yearbook that she and Zayn made together.

 

“It looks beautiful and everything on top shines like gold but there’s a giant mess of an iceberg crashing under the water, full of _sharks_ and if you want to _survive,_ you need to look at this and see _exactly_ what it is. Not what it _wants_ you to think it is. This “beach” is a _farce.”_

 

Louis nods as he swallows at the intensity of her passionate words. She’s definitely an artist. And Louis admires her passion.

 

Even if he doesn’t understand why she feels so strongly about the image she’s painted of her school, he can respect the message she’s trying to send. And her hard work obviously paid off. The picture of Wellington she’s created is going to be front and centre for everyone to reflect on, whether they just see the beauty of it or the true meaning behind it. At least they’ll see the beach for what it is.

 

 _“Perrie for fuck sake,”_ Zayn sits up now, shaking his head seriously.

 

“Tone it the fuck down, you’re _scarin’_ the poor guy.” Zayn stands up now as the bell rings with his bag, nudging Louis’s shoulder as he walks by.

 

_“Come on.”_

 

The way he talks when he’s not fucking someone with his voice is even more funny to Louis.

 

He’s got a lispy accent. And he swears a lot.

 

“Art is within and all that shit. Wellington is whatever he makes it out to be, don’t kill his fucking flow. _He gets it._ ” Zayn sighs, taking Perrie’s hand, helping her up like a proper gentleman.

 

“I’m sorry!” Perrie protests as she stands, shoving it back into her bag. “He’s new, I’m trying to make sure he doesn’t buy into the b.s.--”

 

“Oh my God,” Zayn groans. “ _We get it._ The beach is Wellington, everything is fake. He answered and he’s right. And now we’re going to the backbuilding.” He smiles at her.

 

Louis sits there for a moment, like he’s expecting Zayn to do the same for him for a moment there.

 

“You alright?” Perrie asks when she notices. Louis nods, quickly standing up.

 

“Brilliant.” He rushes, “Lead the way loves.” He feels a little more manic than calm. His heart is just beating really fast around Zayn now, making him tweak with nerves.

 

He was less than 2 seconds away from snogging him just then.

 

“Ignore her Lewis, she’s crazy.” Zayn shakes his head, laughing when Perrie hits him in his arm, hissing at him not to call her crazy as he takes her hand again and leads them out the room.

 

Louis walks a little bit behind them at first while Perrie launches into a rant about how “blind” their society is to the rest of the world until Zayn swings his other arm behind him, wrapping around Louis’ shoulder securely, taking him under his wing as they whisk away into the halls of Wellington.

 

As Louis looks at the two of them, Perrie going on passionately about seeing through the material world and not feeding into everything we see like a group of mindless robots, while Zayn wears a bored but content smile, Louis realises that _she’s_ actually the radical, grunge artist that makes art to express his frustration with the world she’s stuck in the middle of.

 

Zayn doesn’t give a single shit about anything she’s saying, but he nods along and agrees at all the appropriate parts. And Louis thinks they are an adorable pair.  

 

Louis gets the whole privileged people living in a bubble thing is a huge issue but when you look at all that stuff and then look at this beach, the choice for which one anyone would rather look at seems obvious. Even if it’s not real.

 

  
Walking through the halls yesterday was like trying to get through a stampede of wild animals. 

 

Although he’s never admit it aloud, Louis was kind of a short guy for his age. Walking through the huge halls alone amongst this sea of people made him feel small, being bumped into and jostles about as if he wasn’t even there.

 

 _Now_ , walking through the halls sandwiched between Zayn and Perrie now, caging him in like he was some type of precious jewel with Zayn leading the way… it felt safe. Zayn wasn’t really that much taller than him, but his presence in the hall made him seem bigger than he was.

 

Louis could feel people staring. _Wondering_.

 

These were the kind of eyes Louis liked and he couldn’t stop smiling because of it.

 

It seems like everyone is almost making room for them to come through. Honestly he felt like they were _famous_ or something. He _loved_ the feeling. He couldn’t stop grinning as they strolled around, all casual in their gaits.

 

They go all the way to the back of the school and outside, cutting through the cafe lawn and the football field. Out here, there’s a few students lounging around in the grass and extra picnic tables someone had to have dragged over here, studying, talking, and even smoking. Louis looks around in confusion. As far as he could tell, there was nothing out here but empty fields and a cliff that huge off the beach.

 

“Guys…” He starts, scratching his head as he stares out at the water.

 

“Where’s the… backbuilding?” He’s still looking around as if a building will somehow materialise from the sky.

 

Perrie squats on the ground under a tree, crossing her black laced legs as she pulls out a plastic bag containing a suspicious green substance Louis assumes isn’t dried kale they’ve come back here to make sandwiches and have a picnic with.

 

“It burned down in 1993.” Zayn answers, handing Perrie a lighter and a metal circle from out of his pocket before stretching out next to her. Louis looks around again.

 

“Won’t we get in some sort of trouble for this?”

 

“Why would we get you into trouble… we’re your friends?” Perries quips, bemused, like it’s the most obvious thing ever.

 

He looks at the school one more time. It didn’t look like it was going anywhere. Besides, Perrie said they were friends and he was in no position to pass up friends. So, he sits down across from them, trying not to think too much about the fact that he was skipping class or what would happen if they got caught with… drugs.

 

Thinking too much about it lead to worrying. Worrying lead to stress, and too much stress lead to Louis passing out. Passing out in front of Zayn and Perrie definitely wouldn’t make a great impression.

 

Keeping his school blazer on would also lead to Louis passing out if he didn’t take it off. It was unusually hot for a  casual day in London. The sun was beating down on them, even though the tree provided a little shade. Louis pretends not to notice Zayn watching his arms as he takes off his jacket.

 

“Trust me, you’re not missin’ a thing in Coach Grimmy’s class. He doesn’t know fuck all of what he’s teachin’.” Zayn says, shimmying out of his own jacket.

 

His arms are _covered_ in tattoos. That coupled with the way his skin glistens in the light behind him like he’s sitting in the _perfect_ place for the sunlight to illuminate him… Louis swallows thickly, trying not to stare.

 

“You’d learn more sex ed from _me_ if anything,” He adds casually.

 

“Is that so?” Louis smiles, eager to build the tension back up again.

 

“Yeah, plus he’s a right perv.” Perrie chimes, breaking the moment between them before it can even happen _again._

 

“Better you not be in his class anyways.” She adds, distracted as she twists the metal circle together to grind the contents of her baggy then begins to roll a joint on top of one of her textbooks.

 

Louis guesses that was one way of hitting the books…

 

He watches in fascination. He’d never done drugs before or even smoked a cigarette. His parents would murder him if he did.

 

“What makes you say that?” He says uneasily, grimacing a little.

 

“Does he fraternise with the students or summat?”

 

Louis wasn’t completely comfortable with his health teacher potentially being a pedo.

 

“Aye… you could say that…” Zayn says.

 

“I heard he made out with the captain of the footie team once. You know that irish kid?” Perrie wiggles her eyebrows. Zayn snorts.

 

“I wouldn’t put it past Niall on that one.”

 

“And what about Chris? I heard the same thing about him too.” Perrie asks as she’s licking the paper to seal it closed. Zayn shakes his head.

 

“I doubt it. After what happened with him and PJ, he barely gets anything anymore. No one wants to catch an STD.”

 

Perrie laughs at that.

 

“I’m serious. They don’t call him crabstickz for nothing” Zayn says, shaking his head again in distaste.

 

“If you decide to tryout for the football, stay clear of a bloke called Chris Kendall a.k.a. Crabstickz and don’t agree to get any extra ‘help’ from coach Grimmy if he offers any.” He warns Louis now.

 

“He likes ‘em small.” He punctuates it with a wink and Perrie bursts out into hysterics as if it was the funniest thing she’d ever heard. Louis, on the other hand, was _horrified_.

 

“That’s disgusting!” He exclaims in shock.

 

“A grown man -- _teacher,_ sleeping with children? I’m pretty sure that counts as rape.” Louis is in disbelief.

 

He did want to tryout for football before but there was no way he did now. Not with a coach like that.

 

“Someone oughta report him.” He suggests but Zayn pats his knee, smirking at his with furrowed eyebrows.

 

“Calm down _Mcgruff_. They’re just rumours.” He says reassuringly

 

“Half the shit talked about in this place is either lied or embellished, Nothing to take too seriously.”

 

“Not all rumours.” Perrie mutters, lighting the joint and taking a hit.

 

Louis wants to ask her what she means by _“not all rumours”_ but, the matter is forgotten entirely when he watches as Perrie and Zayn press their lips together, open-mouthed for a few seconds before Zayn pulls away, letting his head fall back with his eyes closed, leading a trail of smoke to form.

 

Louis’ eyes stay trained on his Adam’s apple, bobbing slightly as his neck stretches.

 

It was the hottest thing Louis has ever seen. _Zayn_ was the hottest thing Louis has ever seen and he really can’t stress enough how hot and bothered he is with watching him smoke like that. Ridiculously hot.

 

He couldn’t help letting his mind drift, imagining himself licking a thick line up Zayn’s exposed neck. When he realises Perrie is watching him watch Zayn (for probably the hundredth time this day), he quickly clears his throat and looks away.

 

She only smiles to herself, looking down in her lap as she begins to draw something on a plastered sheet of paper.

 

“So, uhh…” Louis starts hesitantly, “...how long have you guys been together?”

 

The question has been on his tongue since he first laid eyes on them. They made quite the attractive pair. And her goth and his grudge style match perfectly.

 

He hopes desperately that his attraction to Zayn wasn’t obvious enough to make Perrie, or Zayn uncomfortable. Although, Zayn seemed like the type who didn’t care who appreciated the view, boy or girl. Perrie howls out in laughter while Zayn shakes his head, smiling slightly.

 

“Me and Pez? Are you serious?”

 

Louis looks between the two of them, feeling little flutters in his gut.

 

“So you’re not…” he trails off. He needs to hear them say it.

 

“Did you miss the part in me saying he’s literally the next Queen of England?” she laughs again, taking another drag and handing it to Zayn.

 

Louis grits his teeth, a little annoyed at being laughed at because, _no_ , he didn’t miss that part which makes them all the more confusing.

 

_What the hell was a hag then?_

 

He’s been detached from western society for too long.

 

“I thought maybe you were _joking_.”

 

Perrie shakes her head.

 

“To answer your question: We’ve been together since birth but Zayn is too much of a slut to ever settle for _anyone_.”

 

“If I’ve been giving off a _straight_ vibe to you then, I apologise _immensely_ cause that was not my intention _at all_.” Zayn says, and Louis definitely gets his message.

 

So he wasn’t imagining all this sexual tension and flirting and Zayn wasn’t just messing with him back there.

 

But, how could they blame him? Zayn and Perrie were very touchy. He’s sure he’s not the only person who’s mistaken them as a couple.

 

“I’m sorry, it’s hard to tell sometimes, you know? Especially when you guys kiss,”

 

“Mate we weren’t kissing,” Zayn chuckles “ ‘S called shotgunning.”

 

Louis makes the ‘o’ face, a little embarrassed that he doesn’t even know what shotgunning means, looking down in his own lap.

 

“D’ya wanna try it?” Zayn asks, smirking at Louis’ tinted cheeks.

 

He’s about to decline the offer, as he’s never smoked before but, he’s suddenly pulled forward by Zayn’s hand on the back of his neck, his finger warm but the several rings he’s wearing cold.

 

 _“Open up.”_ Zayn’s voice is low and turning Louis on again.

 

Perrie giggles at how Louis’ arms flail at his sides, clueless as to what to do with them. He does as Zayn says though, opening his mouth while Zayn takes a long drag, then brings his lips mere centimetres away from Louis’.

 

Up this close, Louis can see every detail of Zayn’s perfect face.

 

The little brown freckle in his right eye and the few other freckles sprinkled across his nose like black pepper, the silver stud sticking in his nose, the sweet aroma that Louis realises isn’t some girly perfume coming from Perrie but is in fact _Zayn_.

 

He closes his eyes as Zayn’s sensuous smell engulfs them both.

 

He feels the warm smoke pour into his mouth, down into his lungs as he inhales it.

 

It burns.

 

It _really_ fucking burns and he instantly wants to cough but he wills himself not to, holding the smoke in for as long as he can in spite of how scratchy it feels.

 

 _“Exhale.”_ Zayn’s sultry voice commands, and Louis follows suit, breathing out the smoke finally.

 

When he opens his eyes, Perrie and Zayn are both smiling at him. Perrie - proudly, Zayn - enticingly. Louis beams, proud of himself for not choking. There’s a tingling sensation in his belly that he isn’t sure is from the drugs or the way Zayn is looking at him.

 

“Good?” Zayn asks as he takes another hit

 

“ ‘S so so good.” Louis grins.

 

Zayn nods happily while Perrie goes back to her drawing. Louis watched Zayn as he blows out perfectly round rings of smoke beautifully into the air, making one huge one and then a smaller one flowing through it in a chain of smoke. Louis’ eyes widen in amazement which makes Zayn laugh,

 

“He’s just showing off.” Perrie tuts, shaking her head as she continues to draw.

 

“I don’t mind.” Louis says absently and Zayn raises an eyebrow.

 

“Can you teach me how to do that?” He asks him, excitedly scooting closer to Zayn who smiles at his giddiness.

 

“Alright hold on.” Zayn takes a really long drag this time, tilting his head skyward, exposing his neck again.

 

Louis doesn’t feel so bad about wanting to mark up his neck now that he knows he and Perrie aren’t a couple, although, being this close up too Zayn now, Louis can see a faint mark already on this side of Zayn’s neck.

 

 _Love bites_.

 

Louis gapes at them for a moment. Okay so this guy might really be a slut.

 

Zayn brings his head back down and motions for Louis to come closer. Louis obediently closed his eyes and opens his mouth slightly. He’s surprised to feel a pair of unexpectedly cold lips graze a little against his own and he jerks back instinctively.

 

Zayn’s hand behind his neck keeps him in place though and he soons relaxes again as the smoke pours into his burning throat.

 

A LOT of smoke this time.

 

He opens his eyes a little only to be met with the absolutely ridiculous image of Zayn’s eyes lulled shut with his long eyelashes softly caressing his almost obscene cheekbones. He looked so… soft. Louis involuntarily lets a low groan escape the back of his throat and Zayn pulls away too early, sputtering out the smoke as he coughs in laughter. Louis does the same. Perrie doesn’t look up from her work despite the fact that they’re both choking.

 

 _“‘M so sorry, I didn’t mean to do that, outloud.”_ Louis manages to croak in between giggles, covering his mouth and nose, cheesing into his hands.

 

“Don’t apologise for _that._ ” Zayn rasps as he laughs, “You just caught me off guard is all.”

 

They laugh a little more until their throats clear before trying again. This time, Louis isn’t shocked when he feels Zayn’s lips ghost against his. Once the smoke is all with Louis, Zayn instructs him for what to do next.

 

“Now just hold your mouth like this,” his lips make the ‘o’ shape, making his cheeks hollow a little.

 

“Pretend like you’re giving the best blowjob of your life,”

 

Louis snorts at that, and some smoke escapes his mouth before he composes himself, unable to stop grinning. Zayn laughs too.

 

“Nah, I’m joking. Just, like, do quick breaths, like you're coughing and keep your tongue down, out of the way.” He demonstrates for Louis, who nods, quickly running out of air to hold onto.

 

He does exactly as Zayn tells him, imagining himself giving someone a really good bj (no one in particular… ), blowing instead of sucking, in clipped breaths.

 

His rings come out flat and crowded together to the point where there are no rings at all, just a big cluster of smoke.

 

“Well, I’m rubbish at this aren’t I?” Louis pouts, and Zayn shakes his head.

 

“No one’s perfect instantly. It takes time to practice. Your technique just needs some work.” Then he adds suggestively,

 

“I’ll _gladly_ help you out with that when we’re somewhere else.”

 

“I’m sure you would.” Louis replies as Zayn continued to smoke leisurely, never breaking eye contact with Louis, even as smoke pours out of his nostrils.

 

His heated gaze is making the tingling in Louis’ gut spread up throughout his body, his thumping heart picking up just a little in the process. They hold their gaze a minute until Louis reaches for the joint to take a hit of his own.

 

“I guess I could learn now.” he says, taking a long drag and then holding it for a moment.

 

The irritation in his lungs from choking is less hard now and more easy and it feels so good.

 

Zayn’s eyes flit down to Louis’ lips and he gives his own a lick over right as Louis leans in, placing both hands on either side of Zayn’s face and presses their lips together, breathing into Zayn’s mouth.

 

Instead of pulling away after letting the smoke go, Louis holds Zayn in place as the smoke blows out of his nose while their lips are still pressed together before it’s all gone and they’re both left with just inhaling each other in. Zayn leans back on his hands and relaxes, letting Louis slide his tongue into his mouth, skirting over his own.

 

It’s slow as they goad the inside of each other’s mouths. Slow and fun and it has Louis’ pulse pounding rapidly… but then again, Louis pulse was always pounding rapidly. Zayn feels his pulse as Louis puts one hand on his cheek and he smiles against the kiss. After the impromptu makeout session lasts for a minute, Zayn pulls away briefly, to bring his lips to Louis’ ear, brushing against his cheek as he says

 

_“... you smell quite nice,”_

 

Louis is about to kiss him again but instead jerks away when Zayn’s hand ghosts near his stomach at his waistline.

 

Zayn’s brow furrows as he frowns at Louis’ reaction.

 

“Sorry, it’s not you!” He hurriedly tries to explain, “My tummy’s just…” he trails off when Zayn leans back again with his hands in the grass behind him, tilting his head in amusement from Louis’ sudden distress.

 

 _“...sensitive.”_ He finishes with a sigh.

 

His heart monitor is attached at his waist there. If Zayn stuck his hand under his any further, he’d feel it and then Louis would have to explain why he’s half robot and seems like he’s pumped with adrenaline 24/7 and Louis really doesn’t think talking about his heart defect will be a real turn on.

 

The joint is on the ground, burnt out.

 

“Good to know.” Zayn quips, looking off past Louis towards the school, squinting at something in the distance.

 

“Looks like Tom’s back at it with the photography business.” He mumbles to himself while Louis sits in a daze, pondering on the fact that he was just making out with him.

 

God he’s so high right now. It’s only been less than 10 minutes.

 

Perrie glances up from her drawing briefly, looking where Zayn is looking before she looks back down again at her work.

 

“Yeah, he seemed very interested in watching you two snog. Maybe he took some photos to get off on later.” She snarks, snorting at her own joke, scribbling a tad more aggressively at her drawing.

 

Her sarcastic tone makes both Zayn and Louis eye her curiously.

 

“Is something wrong?” Louis asks tentatively.

 

 _This_ is why Louis thought they were a couple. She _clearly_ doesn’t like them all over each other.

 

Perrie shakes her head, looking up at Louis with soft eyes.

 

“It’s not you.” She assures him, then glares at Zayn, who just rolls his eyes. Louis watches them cautiously.

 

He sense a fight building below the surface.

 

“If you’ve got a problem, say it darling. This little jealousy act is getting quite boring.” Zayn yawns casually, which only makes Perrie more angry.

 

“Don’t fucking talk to me like I’m some paranoid dunce. No one’s jealous. I’m annoyed because he just got here and you're already snogging him. You couldn’t keep it cool for more than a day?”

 

“Pez, we’re not _fucking_. We’re just having fun. What’s wrong with that?” Zayn looks at Louis then, “You don’t mind do you?” he asks, and Louis shakes his head, still a little confused on what they were talking about here.

 

If they’ve never been together and Zayn’s more than obviously not straight, then why would Perrie be upset about Zayn and Louis?

 

“I don’t care about who you’re “having fun with” Zayn, or who you’re snogging or who you’re _fucking_ . I just don’t want Louis to have a reputation at this school already before he’s even properly got in. People are gonna _talk_. Seriously, do you have to do this with everyone you meet?”

 

“Do what?” He asks innocently.

 

“You KNOW bloody well what! Now Tom’s gonna blab to everyone that you’ve already got the new kid.”

 

Zayn of course remains totally callous and unbothered.

 

“So what? Let him. He’s not hurting anyone taking a few harmless photos.”

 

“How could you be so careless? You know who’s gonna be hurt when he sees those “harmless photos” of you and the new mystery guy?” She asks, and Zayn’s calmness becomes less calm and more tense.

 

“And what’s your point?”

 

Perrie puts down her drawing to look directly at Zayn even though he’s looking off towards the school still.

 

“You really don’t care, do you?” She asks, more sad than angry now.

 

“He’ll get over it Perrie.” Zayn says, monotone.

 

“And what if he doesn’t?”

 

“I think he’s smart enough to get the hint.”

 

“You’ve been saying that for ages. Didn’t you see his face this morning? He was so happy to see you, probably for the first time in months, but then you completely ignore him and he looked devastated.” She says softly.

 

Zayn doesn’t say anything. Just keeps staring off into space. The beach behind him crashes against the shore in his silence.

 

“Are you even listening to me?”

 

Louis isn’t completely left out of the conversation. In fact, he has a feeling he’s starting to understand what Perrie is so upset about. It wasn’t about him and Zayn at all. Well, it was but not for the reason he first thought.

 

“Are you talking about that Liam bloke?” He tries since Zayn is now ignoring Perrie’s attempt at talking about what happened in homeroom earlier, which Louis was still very curious about.

 

“Yes. _Lima_ .” Perrie sighs, then smiles at Louis. “Sweet, precious Lima Bean who is completely and totally _enamoured_ of Zaynie.”

 

Zayn rolls his eyes dramatically

 

“There’s a difference between being enamoured of something and being _obsessed_ with it.” Then he looks at Louis.

 

“He’s been following me around since year 5 Lewis,” he raises five fingers for emphasis.

 

 _“Year. 5._ That’s obsessed.”

 

Louis laughs. He thought that was kind of cute. Obviously, Zayn didn’t.

 

“Well why don’t you just tell him to piss off since you hate him so much?” He asks, then adds,

 

“It’s said like _Louie_ by the way.”

 

Zayn shakes his head, looking down into his lap sorely.

 

“I don’t hate him.” He says in a small voice, shaking his head.

 

It’s the first time he’s shown a crack in his persona that wasn’t layered in dissolute. He almost seemed vulnerable and Louis is taken aback for a moment. But, as instantly as it came, it goes as Zayn looks back up with a hard look in his eyes, whatever softness that was there before, buried away in indifference now. Like he really couldn't be bothered by his obsessed fan that's been apparently “following him around” for 7 years.

 

“She’s exaggerating anyway. He’ll be fine.”

 

“How would you know if you never talk to him?” Perrie challenges

 

“Because I know _him_ and I know if I start _talking_ to him again, he’ll never fucking leave me _alone!”_ He hisses through gritted teeth.

 

They start arguing like a married couple for a while and it becomes obvious to Louis that they’ve been over this before.

 

“Is he your ex-boyfriend?” Louis guesses, interrupting them. He gets his answer with the big grin Perrie gives him and the scarlet blush creeping up Zayn’s neck.

 

“NO!”

 

“Pretty much.” They say at the same time.

 

“Nooooo,” Zayn repeats, shooting Perrie an annoyed look as she grins at him.

 

“I don’t even know what the fuck a “boyfriend” is.”

 

Louis laughs too until Zayn gives him a warning look of his own, effectively shutting him up.

 

“Lima has been over the moon for Zayn since we were kids,” Perrie begins to explain to Louis’ thankful relief. He didn’t like being left out of the know and teasing Zayn about it would be much easier if he knew the full story.

 

“They were always together. _Always_. And they did everything together. They weren’t technically “dating” but, they were basically married a majority of their lives. So last year Zayn started being a proper whore, and he and Lima stopped hanging out because Zayn could never take time out of his _“busy”_ schedule to have a best friend anymore. But even though he won’t admit it, I know he still cares about him. He pretends like he doesn’t but, he does. He’s probably just scared to have feelings for him, that’s all.” she says, satisfied that she’s laid her side of the story out for them to look at. But Zayn isn’t satisfied. He’s in fact _seething_.

 

His jaw is clenched tight and his eyes flare in anger as he looks at Perrie like she’s just insulted his entire existence.

 

“You haven’t got a clue what the fuck you’re talking about. I told you to leave it. And stop _calling_ him that, are we 12?” He snaps, beyond done with her prodding on the subject, which promptly wipes the grin off her face when she sees he is serious.

 

“Well excuse me for not being here to know the full story-”

 

“Exactly! You. Weren't. _Here._ But you think you know so much when you don’t. Just shut the fuck up about it. If I don’t want to talk about something, then don’t fucking provoke me.” Zayn says sternly, and by the look on Perrie’s face, she knows she’s gone too far. She goes back to her drawing, pouting like a reprimanded child.

 

“Fine… you don’t have to be such an ass about it, Christ.” She mutters.

 

Zayn only shakes his head, looking off at the football field again. That sparkly glint in his eye is gone. They look sad… and something else unpleasant Louis can’t quite distinguish. He doesn’t like it at all. So, he decides to be his usual bright cheery self and change the subject.

 

“So who is this Tom fellow who apparently has incriminating photos of me?” Louis asks jokingly, glancing back at the school where a group of students were gathered at a table discussing something within the group.

 

“See the blonde lad scanning through the camera off to the side there?” Zayn points in the general groups direction.

 

Louis skims carefully until he sees him, standing up against the school with one foot up on the wall with his back against it. He’s facing them at an angle that would definitely hint he was pointing that camera at them.

 

He kinda had a petite but curvaceous build for a boy, a square jaw and perfectly quiffed dirty blonde hair and pretty plain style, simple white t-shirt under his school blazer that somehow worked on him.

 

He was _hot_.

 

“Uh huh..” Louis says absently.

 

“Close your mouth or you might catch flies.” Zayn teases.

 

Louis’ cheeks tint a little when he turns back to Zayn only to see him smirking knowingly.

 

“Yeah, I remember him from yesterday. He snapped a picture of me while I was changing in the hallway.” Louis says, moving on.

 

“Why were you _changing_ in the hallway?” Perrie squints at him like he’s crazy.

 

“Yesterday was a rough time guys, okay.” Louis says, rolling his eyes when they laugh

 

“That’s Tom Harlock. The token G.B.F.”

 

“G.B.F.?” Louis repeats, puzzled.

 

He feels so out of the loop, like he’s learning the customs of another foreign country, only this place wasn’t supposed to be foreign to him. Zayn and Perrie were patient though.

 

 _“Gay best friend.”_ Perrie supplies “Some made up concept straight people apparently find funny.”

 

“He’s gay?” Louis asks, a little too eagerly.

 

“Don’t get too excited. He’s got a boyfriend.” Perrie says, continuing her drawing still.

 

“No he doesn’t.” Zayn counters.

 

“Well he never goes out with anyone else so technically--”

 

“So _technically_ ,” Zayn cuts her off, mocking her girly voice , “You didn’t ask him if he’s got a boyfriend and we’ve just went over how if you don’t know what you’re talking about, you should _technically_ shut the fuck up about it before you _technically_ misinform someone.”

 

“Oh and you know then?” he huffs, looking at Zayn pointedly. He nods.

 

“Actually I do.”

 

“So has he got a boyfriend or not?” Louis urges. Not that he’s interested in Tom or anything. He was interested in how many gay kids were in this school and if the more there were means it wouldn’t be a problem if he was out, y’know since he was apparently outed already after making out with Zayn in the middle of an open field.

 

“He’s got a long-term fuckboy called Niall Horan who will literally sleep with anything that has big tits and a fat ass, ½ of which Tommy there fills the list for.” Zayn says, nodding towards Tom. That didn’t sound very pleasant.

 

“Tom may be out but, he hasn't got a boyfriend because Niall's ‘ _straight_ ’” Zayn does air quotes around the word straight which Louis takes as meaning "not  really _straight_ "

"They're kind of like an open rumour that everyone pretends they don't know about but, everyone knows."

 

“Tom Harlock Wellington’s family is _stupidly_ rich. Like, illuminati, Rockefeller free-masons rich. He’s what you the elitist, poster child of all the super rich kids of this school. He knows everything about everyone. That’s why his quiff is so big,” Perrie says, then leans in towards Louis to whisper,

 

_“It’s full of secrets.”_

 

Louis laughs for a moment before he stops her before she continues.

 

“Wait,” He pauses. “Tom Harlock… _Wellington?”_ He repeats, in _shock._

 

Perrie nods.

 

“You mean… his family _owns the beach?”_

 

Zayn laughs out loud now, shaking his head as he looks at Louis now.

 

 _“The beach?”_ He repeats like that’s such a joke.

 

“Try this _entire motherfucking borough._ And _then_ some _._ They own half of _London._ As much land as, Qataris, the Queen and TfL put _together_ . _”_ Zayn shakes his head then as Perrie goes on now.

 

“He’s an only child. That’s an _heir._ He takes pictures of everything. And he’s the G.B.F. so, he’s immune from getting his ass kicked one way or another for being the only open homo in this school. He could buy all our souls and sell them to the devil and that _still_ wouldn’t amount to even a quarter of his inheritance.”

 

Louis looks back at Perrie, wondering who in the world has more social status over the boy who will one day have stock and ownership of the very land their asses are currently rubbing against.

 

_“Whose G.B.F.?”_

 

“The bitch who has Wellington wrapped around her bony finger.” Perrie says with disgust.

 

Perrie goes on to explain to Louis the dynamic of how their school is divided into groups and subgroups. Who associates with who and who _don’t_.

 

There’s the one’s on top, made up completely of socialites, children of socialites, rich kids, and the _super_ rich kids and heirs to their daddies platinum thrones. People like Tom, who grew up with nannies and maids from foreign countries instead of parents and could afford to drive recklessly in 50,000 pound Cadillac's and throw parties in their living rooms that could house 4 small countries alone and wear clothes imported from East Asian countries and do white lines in school bathrooms and scream into the oblivion off of their rooftops instead of admiring the view that overlooks the empire they hold in their endless pockets. They don’t have to worry about getting scholarships or paying their tuition or going into debt or ever pawning their silver spoons when the times get tough.

 

 _Ever_.

 

And then the _peasants._

 

The people who can’t afford to be here with their money but still have more to offer _this_ world than just who their parents are or how thick their wallets appear that make-up for it with their talent.

 

Art students. Musical students. Athletes. _Geniuses_.

 

Those people get scholarships.

 

People like Zayn and Perrie who don’t live in this borough at all, actually somewhere in between the estate and the hills but are allowed to be in this district because of their grades and talent.

 

Mostly talent.

 

They actually have to work really hard to keep their scholarships to attend really good schools, using art programs and music scholarships where the school awards you with a seat in a classroom in exchange for the trophies and awards and reputable prestige your talents brings along with you to the school. So it’s a win-win situation for Wellington itself and all the students that attend.

 

Except behind that prestigious reputation, there’s a silent battle amongst the students against each other and against _themselves_ that divides them into cliques.

 

“You see the angry looking little one with the white hair?” Zayn points towards the center of the table.

 

Louis squints, searching for white hair which is really easy because the silvery stark white stands out against everyone else. She’s talking animatedly to everyone at the table, seemingly bossing them around with a scowl on her face, a tie around her neck like a fashionable choker.

 

“Is she the bitch in question?” Louis asks.

 

“No that’s Lottie Rogers. She’s pissed almost 100% of the time. No one knows why.” Louis watches her, nodding along.

 

“Her dad bought the Doncaster Rovers 3 years ago.”

 

Louis peaks at that.

 

His home town. Perrie continues to point out the table of elitist teens.

 

“Next to her is Eleanor Calder.”

 

Louis sees the pretty brunette next to Lottie, looking a bit perplexed as to what she’s doing there.

 

“Her dad’s like a gazillionaire real estate agent and her mother is Vedalia Mountain.”

 

 _“The actress?”_ Louis marvels. Perrie nods.

 

Louis watches them in awe. They were _gorgeous._ Matching Off-White Fall 2017 blazers Louis just saw while he was browsing in _Vogue_ a few weeks ago. They were wearing clothes straight off the fucking runway.

 

“They are _cunt_.” He shakes his head and Zayn throws his head back in laughter. Louis looks back at him with a smile.

 

“What?”

 

“You don’t know what a hag is but you know haute couture?” He continues laughing. Louis nods from side to side, as if to say he supposes that’s right.

 

“I’m into more… sustainable culture than pop culture. Fashion isn’t just material clothes, it’s a _lifestyle_ . It’s… art you accessorise on your _body_.”

 

“You’re definitely _gay.”_  Zayn snorts.

 

“Eleanor, Lottie and Tom are of the top 3 richest kids in school.” Perrie goes on, back to the topic.  

 

“El is literally the dumbest girl you will ever meet though.” Perrie sighs, almost in pity.

 

“I sat next to her in English last year. She asked me how to spell _orange_.”

 

Louis really laughs at that one.

 

“Those 3 are kinda like horsemen of the apocalypse together to their she-devil to completely the 4.”

 

Louis is about to ask who this mysterious leader is but the words never make it out of his mouth when he sees _her,_ sitting at the center of the table with her long, rich deep chocolate, almost black hair blowing softly in the wind. Her features are long, elegant and peerlessly symmetrical. When she flashes her smile, Louis mutters “ _wow_ ” under his breathe. She’s gleaming with beauty. She’s fucking Kendall Jenner.

 

_Super-model._

 

“Is that who I _think_ it is?” Louis says in disbelief, blinking a few times to make sure he’s seeing things correctly.

 

There was no mistaking it. He’s seen her face in every country he’s lived in and every magazine he’s ever owned. Or rather, he sister’s faces.

 

Kendall was equally famous though. A more appealing fame than her sisters: young and fresh. Louis couldn’t believe she was sitting just a few yards away from him.

 

“You know her?” Perrie asks, as if he thinks Louis lived under a rock for the last few years and not have access to television.

 

“He’s obviously into _fashion_.” Zayn says to her.

 

“Of course I know her, who doesn’t? She’s a bloody Kardashian! I’m sure isolated villages off the gulf of mexico know who the Kardashians are.”

 

Zayn laughs at that, re-lighting the joint now.

 

“Is that where you come from?” He jokes.

 

“No, actually this time last year I was in Delhi for a couple years.”

 

Louis revels at the look Zayn gives him at that, eyes bulging comically. They soon return to their normal glint as they flick down Louis’ bare arms and neck, looking him up and down very obviously. Louis’ cheeks flush under his scrutiny.

 

“That explains the tan then, aye?” He says, ever the flirt, leering approvingly before meeting Louis’ eyes. He isn’t as shocked by Zayn’s shameless flirting but his stomach still jumps a little.

 

“I pictured you being some homeschooled character from… South of Yorkshire?” Zayn’s guess is spot on.

 

“That’s impressively close. I was semi-homeschooled slash private schooled in Doncaster until I was about 10 when we moved to South Africa.”

 

Zayn looks bemused at that.

 

“I thought you said you were in India?”

 

Louis nods.

 

“I was. Me mum’s a nurse and dad’s in this organisation that promotes sustainability all kinds of countries in almost every continent so they both work abroad. We stayed in Cape Town for the first almost year, then some cities in Italy, some in the UAN, then Finland for a year or so, Germany for another almost two years, Dehli…. and a few other places here and there in between. Now I’m back in England, for good this time.” He chirps, throwing up his arms cheerfully. Zayn and Perrie both gape at him, which he liked. He got a surge of smug delight from impressing them.

 

“Oh my God, you’re one of _them_ ,” Perrie rolls her eyes.

 

“Rich kid.”

 

Louis frowns a little. He was nowhere _near_ being one of _those_ guys.

 

“Wow, you’ve been all over the world!” Zayn exclaims.

 

“That explains your wardrobe…” Perrie mumbles, going back to her drawing. Louis tilts his head.

 

“My wardrobe?” He repeats.

 

He wasn’t sure if he should be offended by that or not. He’d thought he looked pretty damn decent today if he said so himself. When Perrie looks back up and sees his put off expression, she immediately retracts what she said, failing so well at keeping her hate for the wealthy away from Louis.

 

“Oh no, not like that!” She clarifies “I just meant you obviously have expensive taste with the Saint Laurent, Calvin Kleins, custom chuck taylors and…” She leans closer to take a whiff of him.

 

“Chanel no. 5? You clearly didn’t spend the last 6 years traveling the world on minimum wage.” She smiles before adding,

 

“I guessed you were gay the moment I saw you before Zayn even got to you.”

 

Louis scoffs and turns back to watching the teens huddled up in their little meeting. He knew he shouldn’t be offended by Perrie  assuming he was gay based off his appearance and he _definitely_ shouldn’t be offended from her assuming he came from wealth. Both were true after all. But it’s not like he’s just flaunted around with it _ungratefully_.

 

They’ve spent the last 6 years doing _charity_ work, and promoting a healthier planet not vacationing on yachts.

 

It was just the assumption part of it that pisses him off, thinking everyone with an affluent background lives a vain life.

 

And what if he was struggling to come to terms with his sexuality? It was _very_ presumptuous of anyone to assume something like that about someone’s personal life unless they told you themselves.

 

“Hey, it’s not your fault you’re a label whore. People eat that shit up here. You should embrace the way you look sweetheart.” Perrie says sweetly, although Louis doesn’t like it.

 

“The way I look?” He repeats, clearly offended now.

 

Perrie _clearly_ thinks she’s better than “the rich” because she screams and shouts about everything wrong with society by painting pictures of it. But Louis has definitely done more for the planet and contributed towards a greater society than she probably _ever_ will. And just because he had style and wore women’s perfume didn’t mean he should be judged and… okay Louis will admit that sounded a little gay, but still… it was just the principle of it all.

 

Judging someone you know _nothing_ about and assuming things at random, whether they’re rich, poor, straight, or _whatever_ just makes a bigger ass out of everyone.

 

“She’s saying that you don’t even realise that you’re fucking hot. Take the compliment.” Zayn mutters.

 

And… oh.

 

Louis was taking that a totally different way.

 

“I’m not saying you’re one of them as in stuck up and ostentatious. I’m just saying you’ll blend in pretty well up there.” Perrie shrugs, nodding towards the table ahead with the all the money in the world chatting with each other.

 

His tummy tingles at the notion that Zayn thought he was hot. Correction, he was _fucking_ hot. He bites on his smile as he goes back to watching Kendall.

 

She was the closest thing to American royalty there was as far as Louis was concerned. So what the hell was she doing going to an old private school in the middle of London? Sure, this was a pretty well off side of town and the best school you could possibly afford to attend but, even Louis came here because he _chose_ to.

 

Kendall Jenner was a celebrity with millions to her name. He thought someone of her stature would be off studying in Paris or Rome somewhere…

 

“Evil takes a human form in Kendall Jenner,” Perrie’s voice commentates again as he watches her in fascination.

 

“Don’t let her famous status and famous smile fool you. She may seem like your typical selfish, backstabbing slut-faced whore but in reality, she is _so much more than that.”_

 

He watches her graceful movements almost admiringly, a smile tugging at his lips when she laughs heartily at something one of her friends say. Kendall seemed sweet enough on TV, excluding a few obligatory diva moments and she wasn’t the _best_ in versatility as far as modelling went but she’s only got room to keep going up. She’s only 17 and she’s achieved so much under a lot of pressure already. Louis couldn’t do anything but admire and commend her on that.

 

Although he definitely didn’t think reality tv represented actual reality, he still watched the show. Her family was very funny, spontaneous, and always up for anything, just like Louis. Kendall made guests appearances often.

 

She was always his favourite. Louis is _not_ gonna fanboy or run up to her and start showering her with praise right now.

 

"God she's so _skinny_."

 

"Bulimic," Perrie corrects. Louis shakes his head in awe.

 

"What does she eat? I need her diet."

 

"Cocaine."

 

Louis looks at Perrie with a frown.

 

“What’s she doing in London?” He asks, flipping onto his stomach and placing his chin in his propped up arms. It was obvious that Perrie didn’t like Kendall so he didn’t want the fact that he was a fan be too obvious.

 

“She moved here in year 7 from L.A., apparently to pursue modeling but, no one _really_ knows why. You shouldn’t have to move across the globe to find success when your name’s Kardashian.” Perrie says, mockingly at the word Kardashian.

 

“She’s a Jenner. That’s different.” Zayn corrects her, also laying down on his back next to Louis. His shirt hikes up as he stretched out, revealing an absolutely,obscene v-line with even more tattoos that took Louis everything not to bite into. It makes him wonder where else he might be tatted. Louis had a few himself.

 

He forces himself to focus on Perrie in front of him, still drawing away on her plastered paper, filling the whole page by now. Louis couldn’t tell what it was upside down.

 

“Kardashian, Jenner. Tomato, potato. Fake asses, fake smiles. Same thing.” She huffs, and Louis laughs. Perrie looks up at him with an evil grin.

 

“I heard that she has absolutely no ties to the Kardashians anymore so her psycho mum sent her here to pick up petty side gigs here in London for money.”

 

 _“But that’s just a rumour.”_ Louis parrots Zayn’s words from before, who is absent mindedly blowing smoke out in different shapes above his head, relaxed on his back. Perrie only ‘mrfs’ in the back of her throat, intent on finishing her drawing.

 

“It won’t take you too long to figure out that this school’s foundation is built on rumours. I’m only trying to keep your best interest in mind. Get close to her and it’ll bite ya on the bum” She warns, but Louis wasn’t even listening, too caught up in the fact that his idol was right fucking there. She wasn’t just a made up figure on TV. She was real. Louis could _meet_ her.  

 

The topic moves on from Kendall and onto other things he should know about the school, Perrie telling Louis about who else he shouldn’t get too close to, like Niall Horan, who's also sitting over there with them.

 

He’s not a “socialite” but he’s here on an athletic scholarship and is captain of the football team, which is what the next best thing that brings the most money to the school. So the football team is a big deal. Along with it’s jocks.

 

“Niall is almost as bad as Zayn when it come to being a slut. Only, he’s _straight_ ”, she does sarcastic air quotes at the word too.

 

“So if you’re not a girl he’s hooking up with, like Tommy over there, he treats you like some forbidden secret. Otherwise everyone knows about it.”

 

“Ummm, I don’t think so babe,” Zayn disagrees, sitting up on his elbows, “I am _nothing_ like that fucking leprechaun. I don’t go running around rampant letting all of the U.K. know whenever I get laid.” then he looks at Louis pointedly “I’m _very_ discreet.” He says with a wink. Louis smirks at him.

 

“I find that _extremely_ hard to believe.”

 

Zayn sits up abruptly at that so his face is just barely touching Louis’, whose pulse quickens.

 

“And why’s that…” He trails off, eyeing Louis’ lips with intent.

 

“Well, the fact that you keep staring at me like I’m not wearing any clothes and also the fact that we were just kissing in this open field not too long ago and we’ve only just met doesn’t sound very discreet to me.” Louis says slowly, swallowing.

 

“I’d say that’s _very_ discreet compared to all the other things we could be doing in the middle of this open field right now.” Zayn’s voice dips all sultry and low and Jesus Christ, is it even legal to be this damn sexy?

 

Louis’ crotch doesn’t seem to care. He can’t help leaning in to kiss Zayn again. He’d let this boy do whatever he _wanted_ to him, open field or not. But, he stops when he’s reminded of Perrie, sitting right across from them, trying hard to ignore them right now. He stops and sucks in a breath right before their lips touch.

 

“Umm…” He can’t seem to form any words to say so, he just lets out a breath in defeat. It didn’t feel right kissing Zayn in front of Perrie. He didn’t like making her feel like an uncomfortable third wheel.

 

Louis resorts to pulling away from Zayn, who frowns slightly so Louis bites his lip and silently nods towards Perrie so he’ll understand. Zayn shakes his head.

 

“Don’t mind her Lewis, she’s not even paying attention.” He says, reaching over a flipping a piece of her hair out of her face but she looks up at him and glares. Louis turns his head to try to look at her work.

 

“What are you drawing?” he asks her, then adds “Its said like Louie.”

 

Again.

 

Zayn makes him spell it out for Perrie to write down on the top of her paper. He looks at it, quirking one eyebrow.

 

“You look more like a Lewis.” He deadpans.

 

“Well, mum thought I looked more like a LOUIS.” He insists, fighting a grin to try to sound serious. He didn’t actually mind being called Lewis, coming from them anyways.

 

“Is that your sketch for the blueprints in art club?” Zayn asks Perrie.

 

“No, it’s for him actually.” She answers and Louis perks up.

 

“Me? For what?” She covers it when he tries to see it upright.

 

“Hold it! It isn’t finished. I’ll show it to you when I’m done.”

 

Louis pouts but doesn’t try to see it any further.

 

“So you’re in an art club?” Louis asks her and she nods.

 

“What other clubs are there here? You know besides NHS.”

 

“Art club, drama, choir…” Perrie starts naming a few.

 

“There’s the student council,”

 

“Which I’m president of by the way.” Zayn adds with a wink and snap of his tongue, flicking his thumb in the shape of a gun, obviously proud of his presidential status.

 

 _“Co-president_ you mean. Harry didn’t fight you for that position for nothing.” Perrie says, laughing when he rolls his eyes.

 

“Ummm, there’s A.V.E. and broadcasting. Like those people who do the announcements everyday, which is for total nerds,” She continues,

 

“Cheerleading, photography, NHS, Homecoming committee, which is actually meeting straight ahead there as we speak.” She nods towards where Kendall Jenner was sitting. There were about 7 people over there.

 

“Do you wanna write this down and take some notes?” She asks as Louis gazes at the homecoming committee. Louis shakes his head.

 

“No, it’s alright I’ve got total recall. What’s the homecoming committee do?” He asks, looking back at Zayn and Perrie, who were gawking at him again like they did when he told them where all he lived.

 

“Wait, back up, you’ve got… total recall? As in-”

 

“A photographic memory?” Zayn finishes her question. Louis shrugs.

 

“I guess you can call it that. What’s the homecoming committee?” He tries again, the they were still stuck on this new info about Louis.

 

“Homeschooled freak with a photographic memory… no wonder they want you for NHS. You’ll probably bring in all kinds new trophies for the school.” Perrie says, returning her work, completely disregarding Louis’ question.

 

“What’s the bloody homecoming committee!? ”Louis nearly shouts, way too forcefully. He recoils when they shoot him him alarmed looks.

 

“Sorry… I’m just… curious.” He says apologetically. Perrie narrows her eyes at him suspiciously.

 

“They’re not a real club. That’s like _exclusive_ to socialites. Homecoming committee is just a fancy way of saying they’re a stuck up group of rich kids with elitist attitudes that get to throw parties funded by the school whenever there’s a dance or anything but they use the money for pretty much whenever they want to throw their own parties.” She explains. “You’re not thinking about... joining are you? Because that’s one club you can’t. You have to be in her crowd to be on the committee. Kendall created it. They basically just use it to control who gets to throw a party and who doesn’t.”

 

Louis shakes his head.

 

“No, I mean I don’t know. I was just thinking it was strange that a school would pay for students to party.”

 

“Ooooh, I see,” Perrie says in understanding “Forgot you’ve never been to a dance.”

 

“It’s kind of a huge deal at this school.” Zayn chimes in and Louis rolls his eyes.

 

“I know what a _dance_ is guys.”

 

“Not the way they do it.” Perrie says, grimacing in the committee's direction.

 

“They abuse their privilege, throwing house parties almost every week. Like the one at Kendall’s place on Saturday. Pretty much the whole school went.”

 

“Did you guys go?”

 

“Fuck no” Perrie laughs “I’d never step foot in that bitch’s house.”

 

Louis doesn’t think they subscribe to _any_ cliques at this school. Perrie and Zayn were sort of their own club.

 

The topic moves on to rumours she’d heard about what happened at Kendall’s party. Louis’ mind however stayed on the committee, and Kendall Jenner. He was sure Perrie had a reason to not like her but… Louis didn’t. Maybe he could see if he could get on the committee. Hell, they could become friends for all Louis knew. Anything was possible. After the bell rings signaling their next class, they go back into the school.

 

While walking through the hallway, Perrie gives Louis a yearbook from last year so he can learn everyone’s names and faces. With his total recall, that wouldn’t be that hard at all. It was actually a pretty clever idea, one less thing Louis had to worry about. Both Perrie and Zayn were equally as mortified as Louis when he told them how horrible his first day was, which Louis found very endearing.

 

“Why on earth would you want to come to such a horrible place? You could’ve died from the culture-shock alone.” Zayn says incredulously. Louis shrugs.

 

“Why not? I like challenges. We’re all gonna die anyways so, fuck it.” He says, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world.

 

Zayn’s face is _priceless_. He looks momentarily taken aback whenever Louis says or does something unexpected before letting out a quick laugh, looking back at Perrie.

 

“Do you hear that Pez? I told you, I fucking love this kid. He’s deep.”

 

Ah. So… he _talked_ about Louis before. That was… something.

 

Then he looks back at Louis fondly.

 

“That was very profound insight Lewis.” He says seriously, then grins when Louis smiles bashfully.

 

“Thanks.” he says, then adds, “Its said like Louie.”

 

Zayn wraps his arm around Louis’ waist then, bringing him closer, making Louis’ stomach do the obviously obligatory churn of butterflies because they were walking down the middle of a very crowded hallway and people were already staring at them as it is.

 

“Alright Loueh.” He peeks at him though his long eyelashes teasingly.

 

“Better?” He quips, flashing a pretty smile. Louis shakes his head

 

“Alright Zaynie. I’ll let your lispy accent slide.”

 

Zayn’s hand pokes Louis’ stomach as a warning to mocking is accent, making Louis jump and giggle. He wants to ask them where they’re actually from because they for sure weren’t born in London with those accents.

 

When Louis looks up at Zayn, he’s looking straight ahead, smiling slightly. His profile really showed off his his rather striking bone structure, and also the fact that his shiny black hair was slicked back into a bun with hair that probably came well past his shoulders.

 

Louis’ traces his features with his eyes. He could seriously stare at Zayn all day long. When Zayn feels his gaze, his smile slowly gets wider. Louis can only imagine how evident his thirst for Zayn must be on his face.

 

“Alright love, this is where we part ways.” Perrie chirps from Zayn’s otherside, oblivious to the fact that they were practically fucking each other with their eyes right now.

 

“Sorry?” Zayn says in response, eyes still locked with Louis’. His hand slides down lower on Louis’s waist, stopping just above his ass.

 

“Here Louis, I made this specifically for you.” Perrie reaches over Zayn to give Louis the drawing she’d been working on.

 

Louis reluctantly has to look away from Zayn to look at Perrie, secretly wishing she would go _away_ already. He was working on something with Zayn right now and she was seriously getting in the way of it every time he think about making other moves to turning this menage a trois into a party of 2.

 

Three’s a fucking crowd.

 

He gives her a strained smile and accepts the drawing, then gasps when he looks at it.

 

“It’s a guide to Wellington. Everything you could possibly need to know as far as the campus goes out there.” She explains.

 

Louis is in complete awe that she did this in an _hour_ . Her art scholarship was _no joke_.

 

The drawing seems to be a detailed blueprint of the entire campus drawn with black pastels.

 

There are illustrations and little caricatures skitted all around the page and even a small little beach with surfaces in the top left corner, not an inch of space untouched. It has every hallway, club name, cliche, field, parking lot and room drawn in intricate, carefully written detail.

 

“Wow Perrie…” Louis breathes “This is so… incredible.” He can’t think of any good words to express how beautifully drawn it is.

 

“You’re a remarkable artist.”

 

She blushes and tugs at her lacy sleeves.

 

“ ‘S just a map.” She says dismissively. Zayn shakes his head at her.

 

“Fuck your modesty,” He says, looking it over himself.

 

“This is really good and you will admit to your artistic genius. Say it with me now, I.”

 

“I.” Perrie laughs

 

“Am the sickest designer on the upside of greater London”

 

“Am the sickest designer on the upside of greater London…” She rolls her eyes, smiling.

 

“.... and anybody who disagrees can eat my ass.”

 

Perrie covers her mouth and hits Zayn in the chest.

 

“I’m not saying that you _freak!”_ She shrills, laughing as Zayn pokes her on her sides.

 

“Alright. But don’t sell yourself short. It is really good.”

 

“It could be in a museum!” Louis declares, and Perrie, rolls her eyes at them, having enough of their flattery.

 

“Alright I get it. It’s super detailed and really good, happy?”

 

“... and anyone who disagrees can _eat my ass.”_ Louis adds for her.

 

“And… anyone who disagrees can eat my ass.” She finally says, unable to hold back her smile after a beat, they all start laughing in the middle of the hallway.

 

“Alright Loueh,” Zayn says after they’ve settled down, looping his arm through Perrie’s as he turns on his heels to face him.

 

“You commit that map to your perfect memory and we’ll meet at lunch hour. Deal?”

 

Louis nods, then looks down at the artwork and the yearbook. He could memorize this in 30-45 minutes tops.At the top of the map, it says:

 

**For Louis (it’s said like LOUIE! >:( )**

 

Suddenly, he feels like a dick for wishing Perrie wasn’t there. She’d been so incredibly nice to him and he wasn’t going to take that for granted again, no matter how much Zayn made him want to ride his face. He frowned at how selfish he realises he was being.

 

“Is something wrong?” Perrie asks, worry etched across her face, the same as Zayn’s. He smiles reassuringly.

 

“No. It’s just…” he pauses, looking down for a moment before he looks upright at the two of them, linked together, fitting like perfect puzzles pieces. Louis thought he fit pretty well too. He already felt like he was extending their small anti-clique.

 

“Thanks for all this. After yesterday, I didn’t know how long I’d survive in this school. But, now I’ve met you two and I don’t think my luck could have got any better.”

 

Their expressions soften.

 

“Course bebz.” Zayn smiles “If you need anything, anything _at all,_ we’ll be there to help you out.”

 

Of course, his eyebrows accentuate the “ _anything at all”_ for a not so subtle hint that he’s D.T.F. if Louis is.

 

For real this time.

 

“Don’t lose that. I won’t make another.” Perrie says, seriously before grinning.

 

Louis throws up a peace sign as he walks in the opposite direction as them, as they walk up the staircase. When he glances back at them, Zayn happens to look back at the same time and they lock eyes right before Zayn throws a quick wink over his shoulder before disappearing upstair.

 

Of course Zayn knew Louis was gonna look back.

 

He laughs to himself as he looks at the map, even if he probably looks like a crazy person, laughing alone in a quickly emptying hallway.

 

He looks around to see if anyone notices only to see _Liam_ , glaring at him from down the hall before storming away, which was… odd. Louis doesn’t think about it though. This day was too good for him to be worrying about anything negative. He already got the impression that Liam didn’t like him very much this morning even though he was forced to invite him into his clique.

 

At least it wasn’t _Calvin_ glaring at him. It was as if yesterday really hadn’t happened. Yeah, he was going to like this school very much.

  
  
Little did he know, this school was gonna like him too. Maybe a bit _too_ much.

 

It all goes down at lunch. When he meets the _one_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next is a flashback from 3 nights ago where you'll meet Harry, Niall, and Liam along with the rest of Wellington in it's rawest form: At a party


	4. iii. This Is a Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wellington all gather to have a few drinks and explode together. An unexpected guest makes a cameo appearance and crashes the party.

 

 

 

**Harry’s Pov**

 

 

**_3 days ago; Friday_ **

 

 

 

Last weekend, a _volcano_ erupted on the beach.

 

 

Harry Styles was born with a ticking time bomb in his body that's detonation had an obscure date so, he tried to stay away from explosive objects. But this volcano was unavoidable.

 

 

It spewed a hundred bottles of rosé, absinthe and vodka, rap music and blackouts in a trail of white lines that all lead back to a mansion belonging to a supermodel, lit of fire for one night.

 

 

The fire was started by the football team’s 5 time winning streak that night, winning every game this year so far. Victory number 5 called for a celebration.

 

 

The football team was a _very_ big deal at Wellington.

 

 

Most of the school funding went into the team just like most of the trophies the school had came from the team. Their tuitions pay more for new uniforms imported from Indonesia every semester than textbooks. Although no one would admit it outloud, football was way more important than all the other clubs, which made the team superior to the rest of the school.

 

 

Jocks and socialites ran the place.

 

 

And that was all great, if only Harry Styles gave a fuck about stuff like that.

 

 

To him, football was a great outlet for refreshing his state of mind, spiritually, like yoga. It was an activity that kept his mind off of his problems, made him feel free, like he could fly across the ground and somehow reminded him that he was still alive.

 

 

He couldn’t care less about how much benefit he got from the status of it, even if he wasn’t that good. He was still technically a jock and with that came a lot a benefits.

 

 

Sure, he could have any girl he wanted just by association but, he wasn’t the kind of a person who cared about his popularity. Besides, all that could be left to the team captain, his best friend Niall, gladly reaping the benefits of being the star athlete. In fact, if it wasn’t for Niall, they wouldn’t have won the game on Friday. He easily carried the whole team on his back.

 

 

“You didn’t pass out or ditch the match this time! It was truly a victory for everyone!” Niall celebrated after their victory over skype.

 

 

That’s not really even a joke. Harry has been nervous enough before that he puked on the sidelines and actually passed out so he tended to conveniently “get sick” right before actual matches.

 

 

He knew Harry was a nervous wreck, even after the win, he was still antsy. His anxiety mostly stemmed from depression he’d never admit to.

 

 

Harry gave him a tight-lipped smile over their skype call while he’s sitting at his desk, twirling a bottle of pills around in his lap.

 

 

He wasn't even gonna go to the game if Niall hadn’t dragged him there. He _definitely_ wasn’t sticking around for the ensuing party for the team. Niall wasn’t gonna force him to go to that. Even _he_ wouldn’t go if he wasn’t the team captain. It’s just gonna be a sausage fest of beer and girl on girl porn at Andy’s house which Niall thought was seriously _weird_ that they did that. He would’ve stayed with Harry and played video games all night with him to cheer him up but, team captain obligations were… well, obligatory. He really hated seeing Harry so stressed out though.

 

 

Being a natural born empath, it stressed Niall out too.

 

 

“Alright Haz, you can sit this one out but you will not, I repeat, NOT be missing the party tomorrow. That’s where the _real_ action will be going down.” He cheeses but Harry groans.

 

 

This is the thing with Wellington. The party lasted for _days._

 

 

Tonight was the one for just the team. Tomorrow was like the after-party, where _everyone_ were gathering in one place. Meaning _actual_ girls included to continue the mindless affair that either no one would remember the next day or _everyone_ would be talking about on Monday.

 

 

And that place was somewhere Harry would rather _die_ than be caught at ever again.

 

 

“Why there? Out of all the times to make me go out, why now? _There_?” He moans.

 

 

Harry avoided his ex like the plague.

 

 

He’d been thinking about her less lately but that didn’t soften the pain of seeing her again. Attending any parties put on by the homecoming committee (which were basically _all_ the parties at Wellington) were not at the top of the list of his priorities. Attending one at the _Kardashian Manor_ was most definitely not on the list at all.

 

“I was planning on studying.” He says, trying to come up with some last minute excuses that weren’t complete lies. He was a shit liar.

 

 

“It’s been six months Harry.” Niall sees right through his excuse anyways like he was looking  through a glass window.

 

 

“You know I would never tell you to get over it, but you’ve gotta move on at some point. Bury the hatchet.”

 

 

That was easy for him to say. He wasn’t the one who had the hatchet sticking out of his hollowed chest.

 

 

“This party will do you some good. You haven’t talked to her since you broke up. Maybe you can get some closure seeing her again? I’ll even study with you all day on Sunday.” Niall bargains and Harry sighs.

 

 

It didn’t look like he was getting out of this one. He was very easy to persuade and he really couldn’t say no to anyone to save his damn life. Especially to Niall.

 

 

He _did_ need some help with his studies.

 

 

Coach Grimmy had been threatening to kick Harry off the team if he didn’t get his grades up. Ever since Kendall dumped him out of the blue 6 months ago, he’d been moping around like a sad toad, depressed, lonely, and just overall feelings of worthlessness all the time, usually xanned out like he is right now.

 

 

If he went to this party, his xanax would mix into _liquor_ and that’s even more detrimental than wallowing in misery at home.

 

 

His school performance was suffering, not that he gave a shit about something as insignificant as school but now it was threatening something he gave a huge shit about.

 

 

Football.

 

 

Niall watched Harry’s charming, cheeky personality dwindle during the year of the toxic mess that was Harry and Kendall’s relationship. He had been there for him ever since he first moved to London from Holmes Chapel 3 years ago. He’d seen him at his lowest points and his high ones too.

 

 

A _lot_ of high ones, usually sat on a rooftop at 3 a.m.

 

 

A rooftop that usually belonged to their friend Liam, trying to get high enough to touch the stars until they couldn’t feel their feet anymore, losing their place in the world.

 

 

Losing their place in _this_ world, like they were flying away from the beach.

 

 

Drugs tended to have that effect, to feel nothing and everything at the same time.

 

 

All three of them had turbulent love lives so, Liam’s roof holds a lot of secrets in the air above his house. There was something magical about being up there that made dark confessions feel like the reality of it evaporated temporarily.

 

 

Down here on the beach in the daylight, everyone conceals their true forms with whatever front they put up, even if they’re ready to explode inside, like water pressure building up in an aqueduct. Because down there, the world treats them like they’re volcanoes that can’t erupt cause they’re all living the high life, assuming they have no problems to worry about since everything in reach through their parents wallets. Even if a volcano is high enough to reach _heaven,_ they can still explode.

 

 

But Harry and Niall don’t have deep wallets that could reach heaven and Liam can’t solve any of his problems with _his_ deep wallet so, his roof becomes the place where the pressure is temporarily released, whether it be water from their eyes or confessions from someplace deeper. It’s all released into the sky, where all they’ve got is the beach view, up on that roof, swapping one high life for another.

 

 

They haven’t done that in about 6 months though. Liam and Niall were genuinely afraid Harry might try to jump off.

 

 

One time, after Liam’s sister, Angie’s birthday dinner party around 6 months ago, they came up while the party was still going, dressed in uncomfortable tuxedos and laughing at their drunken hiccups from drinking champagne all night. The music was all muffled under their feet, vibrating through their soles and the black, starless sky didn’t seem real. Harry jokingly asked if they ever wondered if they sewed wings on tailored suits while standing at the edge of the roof… like he was asking if they thought he’d go to heaven if he _jumped_ . And that was the week _before_ Kendall dumped him. Niall and Liam have been taking caution with him ever since that moment. They got him off the ledge and haven’t been up since but, that comment haunted the roof like a ghost.

 

 

He seemed like he had a lot more than just Kendall on his mind.

 

 

Because right now, they were in the aftermath of the lowest point of Harry’s life. He was depressed, and Niall promised him he’d never tell him to get over it but help him through it. Right now, this weekend was Niall keeping that promise.

 

 

What’s a friend that isn’t willing to lead you off your ledge and push you into a volcano instead?

 

 

“Alright Ni, I’ll go but only if we spend the WHOLE day studying. No fifa, or netflix, or _Tom-_ ”

 

 

“Got it!” Niall grins triumphantly. “Party tomorrow, study Sunday. Rave Monday. Absolutely.”

 

 

Niall should be a perfect tutor. He was in NHS afterall so, he was pretty smart academically. Spoke two languages. Already applying to schools he thinks he might wanna go to for Uni. Niall wasn’t the dumb jock stereotype.

 

 

“I mean it Niall. I’m only going if we _study_ after _\--”_

 

 

“ _Brills Haz, I’ve got it!”_ He repeats.

 

 

God, Harry hates that word now. Kendall invented it. Seemingly everything she does or says, people pick up like a trend. Everyone follows Kendall’s lead, like this group-think mentality where everything has to be judged and approved of for it to be considered worthy. Follow the leader high-school addition. If Kendall jumps off a bridge, everyone follows.

 

 

Harry’s sure one day they’ll all jump off the cliff on the beach together after someone finally falls off of it.

 

 

“Me and Tom’ll be there around 9 or 10 tomorrow night to pick you up so, make sure you get out of bed by at _least 5_ alright, sleeping beauty?” Niall jokes and Harry shakes his head at him.

 

 

“Piss off.” Harry laughs, then Niall pauses.

 

 

“You’ll be alright, Haz. You’ll see.” He says seriously now.

 

 

Harry breathes deeply. Niall wasn’t just talking about his grades. Maybe he wasn’t even talking about with seeing Kendall either.

 

 

“I know Ni. It just, really… _hurts_.” Harry admits. He doesn’t know what hurts. It just knows it does.

 

 

Maybe there’s just something wrong with his heart.

 

 

Niall wants to reach into his computer and give him a hug. He couldn’t stand being able to feel other’s pain so personally, but he couldn’t stand seeing it so deeply in his best friend even more.

 

 

“I know it does. And that’s okay. It’s gonna hurt, for as long as it has to hurt. It might be a long road to travel but, it’ll be worth it. Something will come out of this party. I promise.” Niall tries his best to make Harry believe him.

 

 

It works. Harry nods, after convincing himself of something obscure, then tells him to have a drink for him at the victory party tonight.

 

 

“I’ll do you one better with 20.” Niall isn’t joking but he finally gets a genuine smile out of Harry, which is all he really wants.

 

 

“Right. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.” Harry tells him.

 

 

“When has that line ever stopped anyone from doing anything they weren’t supposed to do?” Niall deadpans.

 

 

“Good point. Don’t get anyone _pregnant_. How’s that?” He asks.

 

 

There were no girls at this party. Harry expects him to scoff in disgust.

 

 

“Okay… that’s better, although there are still no promises.” Niall jokes to Harry’s surprise, making Harry do his old embarrassing cackle as he didn’t expect _him_ to ever find a joke in the idea of sleeping with a guy. Niall always knew how to make him laugh and Harry could never have enough gratitude for having such an amazing friend.

 

 

Sad for his sadness and happy for his happiness.

 

 

“G’night Nialler.” Harry says with a yawn.

 

 

“Night Hazza. I love you!” He coos.

 

 

“... love you too.” Harry returns before hanging up with a wave. There’s a soft knock at his bedroom door.

 

 

“Yes?” He says, looking up to see his mum poking her head in sleepily.

 

 

“I heard you laughing,” she says with a hopeful smile.

 

 

“I figured you still weren’t feeling well after the game since you didn’t go out with your friends.”

 

 

Like most mother’s, Anne worried about her son constantly. But especially within the last two years. Ever since Kendall, he hasn’t quite been the same. She was just happy to hear him laughing again. It seemed to have been sucked out of him for a while.

 

 

Harry had a long history with depression that started around when he was 8 when his parents first split up. Then it hit him hard again, when his dad died at 13. Then, when they moved away from his home to London, leaving all his friends behind with her new husband. And now, his first heartbreak was doing him the worst. He’s never been clinically diagnosed but she’d never seen him _this_ low before. For now, he kind of self-medicaids.

 

 

“Are you feeling better?” She inquires.

 

 

Harry nods, not really feeling much of anything. He rarely ever smiled that much anymore.

 

 

He keeps his eyes down so she won’t see his blown up pupils. But there’s really no point. She knows he takes xanax to calm his anxiety. Maybe she even knows he kind of abuses it. She can definitely hear the words getting dragged across his tongue like thick honey, stuck together and monotone because of it.

 

 

“Yeah. I was just skypin’ with Ni. We’re goin’ out tomorrow night.” He says, if only to assure her he wasn’t going to melt in the sun after becoming a reclusive vampire over the summer and she smiles even wider at the notion of Harry going out again. It really pained her to see him so _sad_.  

 

 

It _scared_ her.

 

 

Usually, the parents around here just sent their spiralling kids to rehab or bought them a new Jaguar to wreck or give up a trip to the bahamas but, Anne didn't want to buy Harry’s happiness, even if she could.

 

 

That wasn’t real love. But he didn’t really like to talk either so, all she could do was show that she was here when he needed someone to talk to.

 

 

“Oh, that’s lovely baby!” she exclaims, walking over to give him a hug. The warmth gives him a brief surge of happiness, the love radiating off of his mum.

 

 

“I love you so much Harry.” She says into his hair.

 

 

 _“I love you too._ ” He sighs, not just out of habit. He really meant it. He felt so much love for his family and everyone else in his life, so much of it to give. But, obviously not everyone wanted it.

 

 

Like Kendall.

 

 

He handed her half of his heart, carelessly and she’d dropped it on the ground and let it shatter. Sometimes Harry just needed a reminder that he was indeed loved and he got that from his mum, sister, and even his step-dad, daily.

 

 

As well as his friends. Not the ones that only stick around to be seen with a jock. His _genuine_ friends, the ones that see him cry on their place on the roof and share secrets that no one else knows and are still there next year and ready to take on the next chapter of their lives together.

 

 

When she lets go of him, he has a few tears on his cheeks that Anne kisses away, running her hand through his messy curls. He barely had energy to do anything anymore, let alone comb his hair daily. He was glad she hadn’t commented on what a wreck his room was either.

 

 

She looks into his eyes and smiles.

 

“If only you could see what I see.”

 

 

She says softly. Harry snorts.

 

 

_Someone stoned and completely fucked up?_

 

 

“What do you see?”

 

 

“My beautiful baby boy.”

 

 

She puts a chaste kiss on his curly fringe covering his forehead, a very warm and motherly thing he’s always loved. It always awakens something in him, like his body remembers being one with her once upon a time somewhere, still deep within his body where they’re connected.

 

 

You can never really beat a mother’s love.

 

 

After she leaves Harry goes straight to bed.

 

 

Although, it was a while before he fell asleep. He lies there, wide awake with that all consuming loneliness that was never really completely gone creeping to the front of his head, trapping him in his mind. He felt so alone, and _empty._ No matter how many pills he takes, it’s still there. When he doesn’t acknowledge it, it only grows. He didn’t know what was wrong with him.

 

 

He couldn’t do anything right on his own.

 

 

He couldn’t keep his grades up, couldn’t keep a girlfriend or even his dad if you wanna go back really far and he had no loose ends he could buy a solution with. He was getting kicked off the team soon and he’d lose his scholarship.

 

 

Soon, he’d really have _nothing._ When he’s alone like this, it already feels like he’s there being nothing, like he’s in a coffin.

 

 

Being alone lead to very scary thoughts.

 

 

He fell asleep after a few sobs escaped his throat only to dream about being trapped in a cold empty room that throbbed in a steady rhythm like a heartbeat. When he woke, he couldn’t remember his dream, not that it mattered. It was always the same every night, cold and void of… well, anything.

 

 

He thought about how Niall said this party would change something. He hadn’t specified whether that something would be good or bad though. Harry went with the latter. He had nothing better to do today. Might as well join Wellington and be self-destructive together like the dysfunctional little family they were.

 

 

Maybe the next party would be on a cliff.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

**Harry pov**

 

 

**_Saturday night_ **

 

 

 

The night starts off particularly uncomfortably and Harry's bomb ticks faster the longer he's awake.

 

 

It leads down an endless train of thought, hopping from one observation to the next as soon as Tom picks him up, 1 hour after Harry gets out of bed at about 10 o’clock.

 

 

He'd rather be asleep.

 

 

Its an understatement to say that Harry felt like a third wheel in the back of Tom’s escalade.

 

 

He and Niall are exchanging sickeningly sappy looks that’s making Harry want to vomit. Okay… maybe that wasn’t entirely true. Their sappy looks were more like lust filled glares, the sexual tension so thick during the ride, they could slice through it with their glaringly obvious erections, their pupils blown wide like animals.

 

 

Harry’s churning stomach was more likely arousal than putrid leftovers of the dinner he hadn't ate today. The sight of Tom palming at Niall through his pants while Niall’s driving, damn near killing them from veering all over the road like the psychotic truck drivers they _both_ were… it was not something Harry would have ever thought would be making his jeans tight right now.

 

 

Aroused or disgusted, still, uncomfortable nonetheless.

 

 

This was the part about Niall and Tom that was also well rehearsed. The dirty, gritty, well-oiled machine that was their sex life. From what Harry understood, they’d been doing this since year 8.

 

 

The casual sex thing. But that was two long stories.

 

 

When they pull up to Kendall’s place, Tom holds back no more as he flings himself onto Niall, attaching his mouth to his neck. His windows are tinted so no one can see the semi-public fornication.

 

 

Harry practically falls out of the car when it stops, desperate to get out of there before they started banging right in front of him, scarring him forever.

 

 

He looks at Kendall’s mansion and gulps. The party was raging on, heartily, lit up like a damn Christmas tree.

 

 

It’s been months since Harry had been here and right now, it looked like an actual active volcano, just waiting to explode at any moment as he waits to see his classmates bodies flying out the 1,000 windows in the explosion. Harry was that one idiot in the movie who walks up to the volcano on blind faith that it’d stay subdued only to be obliterated when he got too close.

 

 

Everything in that moment as Harry stares at the house, his peers filtering up into it from every direction like moths to a candle, dressed to the 9, every instinct he has tells him to turn around and go home. It’s like they all migrant towards the scent of liqueur and degeneration.

 

 

He ignores his gut, marching up to the house with the mission to get absolutely _smashed_.

 

 

‘ _Fuck coach Grimmy.’_ He thinks, ‘ _Fuck school, fuck Kendall. Fuck depression. Just fuck everything.’_

 

 

It was an oddly nihilistic but soothing thought, distancing himself from everything on his mind with dissociation, taking to making small observations of his surroundings instead.

 

 

But the thing about that is, when you take a step back to _really_ take in your surroundings, you might start to find flaws in even the most beautiful beach in the world, like a distorted painting.

 

 

Upon entering the massive mansion, he sees exactly what he expected to see.

 

 

It should be noted that Harry was very aware of the fact that Kendall was a celebrity and had enough money to buy out his whole life a dozen times over but, that never meant much of anything to him. He wasn’t fazed when he first seen how huge her house was or the lifestyle and people this beach that came with at all.

 

 

Back in Holmes Chapel, he had lots of friends that were wealthy with homes that were pretty big. Not this big but, still. She didn’t like how unimpressed he was. It wasn’t about being unimpressed though. Sure, it was all very impressive but all he wanted the most was to know the _real_ Kenny, the person he thought he’d never stop loving. Not Kendall Jenner, international model and spoiled kid-sister of the Kardashians. She didn’t seem to like that very much.

 

 

Normally, when he walked into her house in the past, there was this disconcerting sense of vacancy.

 

 

Something was missing from it, like no one really lived in it until it was filled past its capacity with partying teens dancing the night away, carefree like the young souls they were. Its was filled well beyond its brim tonight.

 

 

He stares at the pulsing crowd for a few seconds, buzzing around like honey bees attracted to loud noise instead of flowers.

 

 

Most people expect Wellington teens to be standing around in Christian Louboutin heels, short pencil skirts with ascots and suits and ties, sipping on _pinot noir_ or _merlot_ while listening to classical music and discussing the stock market or some shit. But no.

 

 

 _These_ kids blast hip-hop off the balconies so half the block can hear them dancing off-beat to the track, doing shots off their exposed bellies since no one seems to wear clothes that covers their entire bodies and lines of various high end brands of blow next to those shots, a thousand voiceless conversations mixing with music and becoming endless noise.

 

 

Well, the Christian Louboutins are correct. No one who can afford it really leaves the house wearing less than a grand here.

 

 

The rest is wild and untamed.

 

 

With the way Harry’s brain is registering where he is right now, his whole body might as well be a dead nerve.

 

 

“Hazzy!” Someone shouts from the buzzing crowd.

 

 

It takes longer than it should for him to realise it’s Liam.

 

 

His mouth can’t find many words for a real reply yet. He hasn’t even heard his own voice all day today.

 

 

Harry tries to call back once he emerges, calling Liam’s name. But his voice sounds like it belongs to someone else. He almost looks behind him to make sure he’s the only one that’s there.

 

 

Liam’s smiles really wide with his arms matching his face as he brings Harry in for a bear hug.

 

 

“We’re twinning!” He says when he pulls back and shakes Harry’s shoulders, popping Harry’s plain white t-shirt collar.

 

 

They’re both wearing plain white polo shirts and plain blue jeans. Simple lives. Except Liam has _ice_ on his wrist.

 

 

A £20,000 gold rolex. He’s got a diamond one worth 50g too. An entire _collection_ worth more than Harry’s even gonna _try_ to estimate right now.

 

 

A simple life if you’re talking Paris Hilton in his case.

 

 

Liam never buys that stuff for himself, his indestructible watches or his mahogany Mercedes-Benz _S-class_ or tickets to the hottest acts in London whenever a band or artist he likes comes to town.

 

 

His parents do.

 

 

Birthday gifts and consolation prizes to make up for missing his school events and make up even _more_ for the lack of their presence at home, whether they’re physically gone from the country or mentally gone, his stay at home mummy typically spending all _her_ days wasting away in a satin-sheeted Queen-sized bed, drowning in advil and pain-killers.

 

 

Harry shakes his head at the occurrence, wanting to tell Liam they need to call each other ahead of time to make sure they don’t turn up somewhere in the same outfit and run into more of these awkward situations.

 

 

Before he can, Liam says,

 

 

_“I aven’t seen ‘ere in ile!”_

 

 

Harry can hardly hear him over the loud music, some Ty Dolla $ign tune about being young and rich and too blasé about being excited about whipping a Maserati and having girlfriends on magazine covers cause he’s seen it all before.

 

 

He thinks the song is actually _called_ [ Blasé ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzXz-xLB1-0).

 

 

Fitting.

 

 

Sad with how much even Harry actually finds himself _relating_ to this terrible music, mentally. He sees this shit everyday so much so, nothing really impresses or amazes him at all anymore. Maybe if you stabbed him in the chest, he wouldn’t even feel it. Being inside this volcano still leaves a layer of coldness on his skin.

 

 

Liam leans in closer.

 

 

“I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU ‘ERE IN AWHILE. Y’KNOW, OUT?” He yells in his ear and Harry laughs at how pathetic this is.

 

 

This part of partying was always equally hilarious and ridiculous to him. How the music was so loud, you couldn’t even hear yourself think.

 

 

For Harry, that was a good thing. He didn’t want to hear his thoughts or think right now. He was content to just observe instead of engaging.

 

 

“COME GET A DRINK WITH ME!” Liam shouts, patting Harry’s stomach affectionately when Harry still hasn’t said anything, smiling gleefully as he lead Harry to a bar, which sounds perfect to him.

 

 

It was quiet enough in this lounge area for them to hear each other without yelling over the music but still just loud enough to not really be able to focus on anything.

 

 

“You alright?” Liam asks him, trying to be casual but failing as Liam couldn’t hide his true feelings for anything.

 

 

He had worry in his eyes as he held his lips in and drummed the counter nervously and Harry was sick of it. He was sick of everyone _tip-toeing_ around him lately, like one wrong word really would send him off the roof of a four story house.

 

 

Hell, maybe it would.

 

 

He shakes his head as he finally finds some words.

 

 

“No but, I’m looking to get fucked up tonight.” He says, honestly.

 

 

Liam nods in understanding before ordering two cocktails from the barmaid he calls “Death in the Afternoon”. Harry thinks it sounds very promising.

 

 

Liam rubs across his perfectly lined jaw, 3 little moles peppering around his stubbled chin as they talk about something Harry doesn’t really care to be completely invested in about school. Harry sits his wallet on the counter but Liam laughs and tells him this is definitely on him.

 

 

Several people walking by shouted their greetings at Harry and Liam, some shocked to see him _here._ Harry was on the same page as them.

 

 

He gets distracted when he realises he still has a semi throbbing in his pants.

 

 

Embarrassed, he quickly covers it while still trying to have casual conversation but it is honestly the most uncomfortable thing he’s ever felt.

 

 

Try to imagine carrying on with what you’re doing with one of your arms sticking straight up in front of you the whole time.

 

 

If Liam noticed, he doesn’t mention it at all, thankfully.

 

 

He hands Harry a drink that looks like it belongs in an Ernest Hemingway novel. A champagne flute with an opalescent milkiness swelling with bubbles on top, sugar cubes sinking at the bottom. He blinks at Liam.

 

 

“What?” Liam smiles, drinking his own similar drink.

 

 

“I feel like we’re at the Left Bank in Paris _.”_ Harry snorts and Liam laughs.

 

 

“I know right. Wait’ll you taste it. It’s even called a Hemingway too.”

 

 

_“Cheers.”_

 

 

“To the fucking weekend!” Liam adds with a wides mile.

 

 

“I’ll drink to that!” Andy joins them as there’s a party at the bar now.

 

 

They all clink their glasses together then.

 

 

He stares into it for a moment, like he might try to strike up a conversation with it first. The barmaid adds a flourish of golden sprinkles to it so his drink has a louche effect to it now, winking at Harry when he looks up at her.

 

 

Her eyes trail down to Harry’s middle he was doing a terrible job at concealing, eyebrows shooting up and he must admit he does feel a little satisfied with how impressed she seems, despite his embarrassment.

 

 

Actually, it’s not really satisfaction. It’s more like _disgust_.

 

 

She had fake eyelashes that she’s tried to add mascara to but ended up making them clumpy and gross and red lipstick was smudged on her front tooth. She couldn’t have been anywhere but in her mid 30s but the oversaturated tan and sun bleached wig made her look 15 years older. She was wearing the kind of cheap polyester that gave skin rashes and it reminds Harry of herpes for some reason.

 

 

He looks back into his drink again. He’d rather talk to this.

 

 

Liam has downed his entire drink already so Harry starts to drink his own, tasting absolutely no alcohol in it… which meant this was _lethal_.

 

 

It was like fruity licorice, light instead of heavy and it felt like bunnies were shitting rainbows and laughter into his mouth.

 

 

They have meaningless conversation with faceless peers, the alien language skidding around in Harry’s head like they were all speaking Japanese around him. He feels like he’s having conversation with sims. That robotic, gibberish that means nothing.

 

 

Liam does all the talking, keeping up all the charm with his white smile that makes up for Harry’s slight frown.

 

 

Harry looks around at all their smiling faces as they drink together, wanting to ask them what they were smiling at. Even more so wanting to ask what the hell were they even doing here as he continues to have his staring match with his inanimate drink.

 

 

Liam eventually stops trying to keep Harry in the conversation, which he’s thankful for.

 

 

He’s not sure if he wants to go home or stay yet, so he keeps drinking.

 

 

This was a party.

 

 

Within the next 20 minutes, he and Liam knock back 2 more glasses which already had Liam dancing on the bar with Eleanor and Lottie, their red-bottomed, sparkly heels almost knocking down glasses, not giving a shit about the guys peering up their pantiless mini skirts.

 

 

He wants to tell them that lace tights do not count as panties.

 

 

Harry’s entire state of mind has shifted from tense and anxious to totally loose and horny - his true form brought out by the liquor.

 

 

“Say, what’s in this _death in the afternoon_?” He asks the barmaid slowly after a while of cheering Liam on.

 

 

“A shot of Vodka mixed with cannabis _la fée verte_ on top of champagne and a _dash_ of bitters.” She says, all flirty.

 

 

Harry’s eyes widen. That’s _liqueur._ The difference between liqeur and liquor… well, one is just flavoured and sweetened but he knows both don’t take much to kill you together. Of course Liam likes it, it’s literally _flavoured_ with actual sweets and flowers, just like him.

 

 

 _La fée verte_ was “the green fairy”, a hooch that is 140 proof, _roughly 70 percent alcohol alone_ and flavoured with anise and cannabis. Liam had the liver of a fucking iron grate.

 

 

He’d just consumed 3 full glasses of _cannabis absinthe_ , which he was pretty sure was illegal in several countries and imported from Spain. He was well on his way to getting his wish of being fucked up and he tries to leave a note in his brain to be careful what he wishes for from now on but his thoughts are juggled around and he realises he’s _very_ drunk.

 

 

“Yo Haz, ‘m gonna go for a smoke, alright? I’ll be right back.” Liam says waving a joint in front of Harry briefly before him and the girls leave to bar area, back into the lava in the next room that Harry’s thinking he’s gonna avoid for the rest of the night so it’s as if he really didn’t come to the party at all.

 

 

If he tries to go out there, he’ll be climbing over the walls with broken legs. He doesn’t understand how Liam is so coordinated right now after so many drinks.

 

 

He nods as Liam trudges off back out there, leaving him tipsy and alone as everyone leaves the area he’s in since Harry’s not much of a talker these days.

 

 

Well, he’s not completely alone. Bar lady was still here serving drinks. He watches the fat flabs of her arms moving with her for a moment until she finally isn’t busy, and comes back over.

 

 

“Are you trying to get alcohol poisoning or do you just enjoy my company?” She says to him. Harry tilts his head to the side, trying to figure out which one is the barmaid since there seems to be two right now.

 

 

“I dunno. Maybe both?” He says slowly, trying to sound flirty and not slur his words. He doesn’t know why he’s talking to her. The words are pushing themselves out.

 

 

“I’m a bit heartbroken right now.” He admits and bar lady gives him a sad face, leaning on her arms towards him in sympathy, pointedly sticking out her fake cleavage even more. That’s probably the most expensive thing in her life.

 

 

“Aw, tell me all about your little high school melodrama, love.” She coos. Harry shakes his head, running his hand through his hair dismissively.

 

 

He wants to ask her how much Kendall is paying her to serve drinks to high teenagers.

 

 

“Nah, you wouldn’t wanna hear my boring old intoxicated drabble,”

 

 

“On the contrary.” She insists with raised eyebrows, “If I had a pound for every time I’ve heard someone’s drunk tales of woo from behind a bar, I'd be a bloody millionaire!”

 

 

Harry laughs alone, and hiccups, which makes barmaid laugh as well. She’s probably been standing behind bars for centuries.

 

 

“Now tell me all about it and… maybe I can make you feel better?” She says suggestively, rubbing one hand over Harry’s arm with her disastrously long acrylic nails. He’s starting to think this trashy lady is from Essex, like he might’ve seen her as an extra in the background of a reality show he, Liam and Niall make fun of when they watch TOWIE on some weekends.

 

 

Harry receives another cheap hint in her body language again.

 

 

He still had a semi that wasn’t going away anytime soon so he was either gonna have to rub one off soon or fuck, and the fucking option was looking attainable right now.

 

 

She’s nothing like Kendall so that means she’s _perfect_.

 

 

“Can you take a break or is abandoning your post prohibited?” Is all he asks before barmaid all but leaps over the counter and tugs him away.

 

 

“I needed a break over an hour ago.” She laughs.

 

 

Harry’s head is spinning as they whisk away through the house, everything passing by in a blur of motion. The music fades away, suddenly quiet and dark and Harry had no fucking clue where he was. The music is throbbing through the walls a thousand miles away now and the absinthe in his belly was churning unpleasantly, finally feeling the delayed heat spreading, hot, in his body.

 

 

Barmaid was saying something to him but he doesn’t hear a word of it. He says something back but it slurs so much, he’s not even sure what he’s saying either.

 

“Let’s not talk, yeah?” She reasons because let’s be real, she couldn’t give any less of a damn about Harry’s heart break.

 

 

This was obviously a sloppy hook up and she wastes no time getting under Harry’s shirt and slobbing him down hungrily, scraping her nails down his chest. He didn’t like the feeling.

 

 

Yes, Harry was going to fuck this lady. He repeats this to himself like that will make him enjoy it more.

 

 

While making out, all Harry could think about was the burning in his throat and chest that’s starting to spread down into his gut like gasoline and how if someone lit a match in here, he’s probably combust.

 

 

This spontaneous feeling has been boiling inside him for three years. He holds it back down but, the absinthe really wasn’t having it today. That feeling of the imminent bomb inside him ticks faster.

 

 

He wasn’t sure if he was nauseous over the alcohol jiggling around inside him or the Essex slag slurping in his mouth, leaving the aftertaste of an old cigarette. He can tell she probably smokes about 2 packs a day. Kissing her was like licking an ashtray.

 

 

He wanted to throw up. But he keeps kissing her with his eyes wide open now like he sometimes did with Kendall, focusing on a smudge on the wall instead so he won’t explode all over both of them.

 

 

One bad time, Kendall opened her eyes too when Harry’s were and they had to stop kissing because of how massively awkward the air got. They never talked about why neither of them were paying attention to who they were kissing. They never really talked about _anything_.

 

 

As his eyes adjust, he now realises they’re in a thinly lit bathroom and cold tiles are freezing through his shirt on his back.

 

 

The cold on his back with the heat in his stomach makes him think about a tornado, how those destructive forces of nature were formed when hot air and cold air chased each other and how that same concept was happening to Harry right now.

 

 

He was always on the brink of destroying himself.

 

 

Bar maid gets down on her knees in front of him and pulls down his skinny jeans so they gather at his ankles. Today was a great day to go commando. His semi whips out right in her face.

 

 

He forces out a laugh just to see how it sounds and it scares him. It didn’t seem like him at all and it reminds him that he’s drunk.

 

 

Everything they’re doing reminds him of being with Kendall, when his mind was everywhere but in the moment, and hers usually was too. Even if he’s getting his dick sucked.

 

 

Before bar lady can make him finish, she pulls off and asks for him to do it on her face so she won’t have to swallow. That’s the last thing Harry remembers before finally collapsing in a heap of himself.

 

 

 

*

**Niall pov**

 

 

 

Downstairs, Liam is dancing moronically to some fast paced pop song from almost a decade ago ironically titled _“_ [ _White Boy Wasted_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3zHvLPcD2s) _”,_ completely off beat, making a blimey fool of himself but, then again, so was everyone else.  He didn’t give a fuck. He was happy as hell and having fun, glass of some obscure drink in one hand, twirling a nameless girl around in a white dress with the other.

 

 

Andy pops a bottle next to him and showers the crowd with Chardonnay as they all scream and laugh as the bathe in the alcohol like they’re dancing in the rain together.

 

 

Fun. This was all _so_ fun.

 

 

“Payno!” His old football nickname sounds through the crowd. He instantly recognises it as his best friend.

 

 

“Zay?” He calls back in response, all giggly and grinning dumbly as he abandons the crowded shower and moves towards his voice.

 

 

He sees smiling blue eyes coming his way instead of brown and spiked blonde hair instead of long flowing black waves.

 

 

“No you twat!” Niall laughs, “When was the last time “ _Zay”_ even said hi to you?”

 

 

Liam tilts his head to think.

 

 

“A year, 1 month and 3 days.” he says, and Niall frowns, not meaning for him to take the question literally. Also the fact that he’s _counting_ it like that was really fucking sad because Niall knows he’s serious, until Liam bursts out laughing and engulfs him in a nice hug.

 

 

_“You’re here!”_

 

 

Niall half-heartedly hugs him back then not so discreetly adjusts himself.

 

 

“Nialler, you naughty boy,” Liam tuts, grinning wide, “You’ve already gotten it in? That has to be some kind of record, you just got here!”

 

 

Liam laughs again after giggling through that entire sentence and it sounds weird. Not that he never laughed or anything but he couldn’t stop laughing right now to even talk properly. Niall eyed Liam cautiously. He must be on something.

 

 

“Have you seen Haz anywhere? I came with him over an hour ago and he’s not answering his phone. He was kind of down you know so, I wanted to make sure he has a good time…. And that he’s _alright._ I’m getting kind of worried.” Niall explains.

 

 

“I seen him traipsing upstairs with some old hag.” Eleanor Calder supplies, dancing near them with and beer and some of her friends.

 

 

“How long ago?” Niall asks her. She thinks for a second.

 

 

“A while,” She shrugs, then dances away to the beat of the song.

 

 

Niall watches her from a distance, at how her white shiny top dips down low past the middle of her chest where a diamond letter _E_ dangles around her neck. Her top is stopping mid-stomach and barely covering her tits. He briefly considers a new conquest of getting her to take it off completely but, he remembers he already had someone else in mind that he was trying to conquest tonight and her name was Melissa.

 

 

“Hmm, Harry’s getting it in, you’ve already gotten it in. Who was it this time? Was is Barbra?” Liam asks him laughing loudly. He’s acting _very_ strange. He was obviously inebriated but it wasn’t a normal kind of drunk.

 

 

“Nah, just some girl. Have you seen Melissa?” He asks him after he lies, deciding to get to his mission of sleeping with an actual girl over tonight. Looking around, it appeared that _everyone_ was a little high.

 

 

He clearly needed to get on their level. Niall didn’t do drugs or drink so, he tended to overcompensate a little to reach the same place as the rest even though he was already ahead of everyone.

 

 

That’s not how Wellington works. You don’t run ahead of the crowd, you _join_ it. If you don’t, you’ll be alone.

 

 

“Which Melissa?” Liam can’t stop smiling.

 

 

“Which one do you _think?”_ Niall sarcastically retorts. “The Dionne Davenport one.”

 

 

He’d been trying to get with Melissa Steel for over a year now. She was by far the hottest, hard to get cheerleader in Wellington. She claimed to never put out, which only makes Niall want her more. But, she kind of hates Niall, which makes the challenge even more fun. Even though she’s close friends with Tom, Niall thinks he’s pretty close to snagging her.

 

 

You get with Melissa, everyone gives you major prompts cause that means you can pull _anyone_. Maybe Niall likes that aspect of it all more than anything else.

 

 

Liam shakes his head at Niall for saying that.

 

 

There are about 5 different Melissa’s in Wellington. Two blondes, two highlighted brunettes, and one with long black curls that used to wear a hijab, the object of Niall’s harassment. Or affection as he likes to put it.

 

 

“Dionne Davenport” means “the black one” since Dionne was the only black girl in the movie Clueless. She hates when people call her that because everyone seems to either never know her name or confuse her with Leigh-Anne Pinnock, the only other black girl in this entire school even though they look nothing alike.

 

 

“If you’re talking about the one that looks like more like Aaliyah and Rihanna’s love child, I haven’t seen her, sorry mate. I suggest you not call her “Dionne” if you find her. But I seen Zay! Ze’s wearing my favourite colour, _fuck Zayn looks so good._ ”

 

 

Liam’s favourite colour was mahogany because it reminded him of red wine, which reminded him of Zayn cause Zayn always used to say his soul was dark red like wine. Even though Liam hates wine himself, he likes the many shades it comes in and he likes collecting rare brands in his cellar and Niall always found that very creepy. Like Liam was storing parts of Zayn’s soul in glass bottles, locked in his basement.

 

 

Niall can’t even disagree with Liam on the Melissa thing though. She actually did look and sound _exactly_ like Aaliyah, which makes Niall like her even more just because she’s actually talented as fuck and lives up to her hype. She’s not a poser. What you see is what it really is.

 

 

Aside from being the lead cheerleader, Melissa was a singer at their school and one of the few that actually earned her own money on a daily basis because she had success with a few songs making it up there on billboard charts along with a few other people she was in a small group with here at Wellington.

 

 

A group called _Touch_ that was made up of her, Zayn Malik on keyboard and backup vocals, and a guy named Marius, a drummer that transferred to Wellington from Tower Hamlets on the East End on London back in elementary. Everyone called him “Mazzi Maz” and he had a brond-ish afro and a patch of vitiligo on his chin that turned his brown skin white underneath his mouth.

 

 

But… Zayn’s been MIA at lot lately so Melissa and Maz have been a little on their own with the music and haven’t made much of anything without Zayn.

 

 

No one has really “seen” Zayn in public for a few _months._ There’s rumours about him everywhere, sleeping around like always, but he’s like a ninja. Heard of but never seen anywhere.

 

Niall squints at Liam. There was no way Zayn was here. Niall hadn’t seen him in a few weeks _himself_ come to think of it. It was like the guy was always hiding.

 

 

Niall’s sure he was probably hiding from Liam.

 

 

“What the fuck is up with you? You are _way_ too happy right now.”

 

 

Liam howls out in laughter as he sits his glass down on a fireplace mantle before taking out a little baggy of white powder.

 

 

Oh. It all makes sense now. He’s _very_ high. Probably drunk too from the sound of his voice. Niall should’ve known.

 

 

“”Sophie”GoodShitLeigh-anneAlwaysHas.SomePharmacologistAtCooleyUniversityWhipsUp. DoYouWannaTryIt?”

 

 

He says it fast that Niall can’t understand him at all.

 

 

Something about Cooley University, which was just an old, broke down building that _used_ to be a University on the East End near Tower Hamlets, far away from Wellington, that is now the high school most kids on that estate go to.

 

 

Niall stays away from there.

 

 

There’s a difference bewteen the West side of Town and the East. Cooley is on the East, a bad side of town, where everyone here thinks burn-outs, chavs and future criminals are perceived to go. But, it had a good rave scene and it’s actually at the epicentre of where grime originally came from, that electronic dancehall hip-hop music from the London underground Wellington loves so much. They don't care for the people it came from as much.

 

 

It was also the source of where Wellington gets their fixing of regular substance abuse so, they really couldn’t act like they were better than them anyways, seeing that Cooley was technically their life-support. It was like a perfectly balanced relationship between the two schools.

 

 

Niall isn’t prejudice. He doesn’t stay away from that school cause it’s known as where the “low class people” habitat or because it’s mostly black. He stays away because he doesn't buy drugs so he has no reason to be there.

 

 

Wellington spends thousands on drugs to get high, Cooley uses those thousands on amazing raves in the city. Everyone gets something out of it as long as they stay on their part of town and Wellington stays within their golden gates and not get robbed.

 

 

Liam’s pupils are blown up to the _maximum_ , the brown drowning in a black hole.

 

 

This was one flaw about Liam that Niall hated that he was mainly responsible for.

 

 

Liam wasn’t into drugs until last year after a traumatising event at a party lead to him making a few very bad choices that Niall encouraged and... long story short, Liam couldn’t party without snorting some obscure form of coke and ecstasy ever since, usually a special mix he gets from Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Wellington’s go to dealer.

 

 

She could get you anything cause she’s got a cousin at Cooley.

 

 

Weed? No problem. Speed? LSD? You got it. Need a Xanax or Percocet but goot no prescription? Absolutely. Crack cocaine? Heroine? Meth for a "friend"? Probably. Wellington had a thing for drugs just the same as the gossip.

 

 

It numbed them until they actually _were_ too blasé for even the beach view.

 

 

Niall didn’t know what _exactly_ “Sophie” was made up of but he knew Liam always had it on him and that he used it _way_ too often.

 

 

“Uh, thanks but no thanks. I’m not too fond of snorting shit up me nose.” Niall declines, frowning.

 

 

Liam pouts at Niall for saying no but perks up when he realises something, reaching into his pocket to show Niall a joint.

 

 

“Lookie! You don’t have to snort anything at all!”

 

 

“Is that Sophie or Mary Jane?”

 

 

“Little bit of both. It’s not that much, just a _sprinkle_ , you’ll barely even notice when you smoke it.” Liam grins.

 

 

Niall wants to say no but… what the hell, smoking isn’t so bad right? He decides to just take 1 or 2 hits. He wanted to be careful since it was his first time with this and Liam doesn’t really know _what_ it is.

 

 

It doesn’t matter how much money it costs or how finely crushed the powder seems to be. Anything can be bleached white and that obscurity means it could have any kind of effect on you which is why Niall never did this kind of stuff. You never know how pure drugs ever are so you’re at risk partaking no matter what precautions you take or how much money you spend on it.

 

 

But who cares about all that shit when you’re having fun?

 

 

“Come sit out back with us, yeah? You gotta see the view.” Liam smiles, pulling Niall with him to the patio.

 

 

It was a nice view that no one ever paid attention to. Even Niall was a little unimpressed by it by now.

 

 

Kendall’s elaborate mansion was on a hill that overlooked all of Wellington. From the back, you could see over the whole neighbourhood and it was beautifully tranquil despite the racket behind them.

 

 

Of course, Liam still had to be the only person in this entire school that never got enough of this view, even though he’s one of the few people that’s actually had it his entire life as he grew up here, unlike 95% of Wellington.

 

 

His neighbourhood was right next to Kendall’s, also gated and his house had the exact same view from a different angle so him being so intrigued with seeing it from Kendall’s house, well… that was just very Liam. Excitable, precious little Liam.

 

 

There aren’t a whole lot of people out there when he and Niall sit out on the stone patio steps.

 

 

“I thought you were looking for Harry?” Liam asks as Niall lights up and takes an experimental hit.

 

 

“You heard Eleanor. He’s _busy_.  It’s about time too. If anyone needs to get laid, he takes the cake. You’re in for a close 2nd.” Niall says, shaking his head.

 

 

“I don’t need to get laid to have fun.” Liam says back matter of factly, “Don’t want to.”

 

 

“Liam, you’re so full of shit.”

 

 

“Unlike you, I don’t have sex on the brain 24/7. I’d rather think about unicorns. And cows.”

 

 

Niall laughs,

 

 

“Completely off your head--”

 

 

“And rainbows, and babies, and Zay,” He continues, rambling rapidly.

 

 

“Don’t know why you’re still spending all your time thinking about “ _Zay”_ when he ain't thinking about you. Do you know how many girls would die to hook up with you? You’re like a perfect mix of total nerd and hot jock.”

 

 

“You think I’m hot?” Liam starts laughing again, harder than he needs to.

 

 

“Shut up, you know what I meant. The point is, you've wasted enough _years_ of your life on that guy. You’ll never move on with your life if you’re still hung up on some stupid asshole forever. You’re just like Harry, only him and Kendall at least had sex. What did Zayn ever give you but tears stains all over your favourite shirts?”

 

 

“Oh, fuck off,” Liam grimaces, suddenly so serious that Niall almost thinks he’s sober.

 

 

“Ze’s been going through some stuff for a while and just needs space, which is perfectly fine. I’m not filling the void with meaningless sex with meaningless people like you. That isn’t right. Sex isn’t everything. The sooner you realise that, the better your life will be.” Liam says, right before he cuts a line of Sophie with a credit card on top of a glass dish in his lap then holds one of his nostrils as he inhales it through a rolled up note, picking up the rest on his finger and licking it off.

 

 

Talk about hypocrisy.

 

 

After finishing his last line of the night, he sets his dish down and shakes his head, lying down on his back with his eyes closed to relax.

 

 

“Shit… I feel _fantastic.”_ He murmurs a little, like he’s falling asleep. Or maybe he’s falling into his own void.

 

 

Niall isn’t sure if he actually means that or not. Getting high at a party somehow wasn’t quite the same as doing it on a rooftop. That was the only time and it was always weed. Parties have a whole other atmosphere that take Liam to another place. Niall doesn’t think that place is a very good one.

 

 

Everyone thinks Liam is perfect because his life has always seemed to be put together and completely in his control and he always seemed happier than anyone else here. Even though everyone knows he does drugs too and is probably just as addicted at everyone else, he’s still perfect amongst many in the average crowd here and everyone loves him just because his positive energy and confidence seems like it’ll be contagious if you get close enough to him.

 

 

He’s just a genuinely nice guy to be around.

 

 

He’s also seen as perfect because he's the poster child for student prodigy’s, the future _Valedictorian_ with a family that _wasn’t_ broken unlike most here, two mums - one stay at home and the other a big-time attorney and businesswomen - and a big sister that supported his every move and he doesn’t have sex ever or get into too much drama at all, although he’ll dance with girls at parties and drink with them, he just knows how to have a good time when the moment calls for it. But he never goes home with anyone.

 

 

Everyone knows he’s still waiting for Zayn to come around and that guy attracts nothing _but_ drama.

 

 

Liam’s working mother won a _major_ case 4 years ago that decided that Wellington would change their scholarship programs to include affluent people who could already afford tuition, like Liam, not just the peasants.

 

 

Almost like an “affirmative action” for the rich, which a lot of people who actually _needed_ a scholarship thought was unfair but, this kind of grant could only be given to _one_ person: the student with the highest scores in their district. And only Liam can say that that was him. His scores were only off by _one_ point.

 

 

Liam is the only socialite Niall knows that didn’t pay his own tuition - even though he doesn’t hang with that crowd at all, he hangs with the nerds - he doesn’t have to because of his special scholarship his mother fought for, _just_ for him.

 

 

He was going to be _Valedictorian_ and earn the once-in-a-lifetime chair that only NHS offered that he’s been working hard to get his entire life. It’s gonna award the kid in their class with the highest scores a 5-year program abroad next year where one high school student gets a full-ride and an opportunity to have their masters in business administration and an internship at one of the best firms in the states that promised a well paying job after the program was over.

 

 

Come next year, Liam was gonna be in America for 5 years and probably the rest of his life everywhere.

 

 

Liam wasn’t inheriting his mother’s empire, also unlike most kids here. He was gonna be building _his own_ in another country _._ Marry a nice girl. Have a family. Retire on the countryside. His perfect future was already planned for him to his deathbed.

 

 

But, it wasn’t quite in his control like how it appears and not just because he happens to do drugs. He just wasn’t actually as perfect and happy as his reputation suggested.

 

 

Happiness is sometimes confused with complacency. Not the self-satisfied kind. The kind when you’re satisfying everyone’s wishes but your own.

 

 

After being the “family goals” of Wellington for 16 years, last year, his mother’s got a divorce and it was like glass shattered when everyone found out.

 

 

It was _completely_ out of the blue to everyone in school because they always seemed so _perfect_ together, like Brangelina.

 

 

The two doting mother’s, adopting their first child, Angie, from the Philippines and then having their first born, Liam, inseminated a few years later to make the Paynes until the quick divorce last spring effectively shattered the illusion that his family was as picture perfect as their portraits on the white walls of his house.

 

 

His family matters were about the only thing Liam kept private and it just went to show you don’t know what someone’s going through in their life.

 

 

He didn’t even want to be a businessman like how his mother pushes for him to be nor did he want to leave Wellington. He wasn’t into the material world of business and finance at all. He was more into sustainability. His other mother was a best-selling author so, he inherited his dreamy nature from her rather than the materialistic side.

 

 

Liam wanted to be a _florist._

 

 

He loved gardening and taking care of the environment, growing/picking flowers and writing greeting cards and all that romantic, sentimental stuff, just like his mummy. He was more than just a writer at heart. He was a hopeless romantic type.

 

 

When she was competent, his mummy used to take Liam, his sister and his childhood friends on spontaneous escapades through valleys full of flowers all over the U.K., in Wales and Scotland and every valley in England from the time that he was a toddler up until he was 13 and he’s been in love with flowers ever since, his entire life. It was a dream of his to open his own floral shop one day. But that definitely wasn’t gonna fly with his other mother.

 

 

Success to her isn’t chasing a silly dream that brings you no future - something which _Niall_ personally thinks might be why their marriage crumbled. The clash in their very nature that also divides Liam. Also, they were two _chicks_ . Niall doesn’t think marriage was intended to ever last for people of _that_ nature. Normal marriages just have affairs and call it a day like everyone else’s parents around here.

 

 

In Liam’s mother’s eyes, business can take you far. Make _money._ Build a reputable name for yourself. Liam wouldn’t be anyone if he was just some florist, not in _this_ world. And he wouldn’t be anyone if he just stayed on this beach even though Liam loved it here where he grew up. She wanted him to go far in the world, abroad like her, always in some other country representing her celebrity clientele. She was kind of like the Robert Kardashian of Wellington.

 

 

This scholarship she got him was his greatest chance to be successful on his own.

 

 

His other mummy never had to lift a finger, which she still doesn’t. Her royalties have her set like J.K. Rowling only instead of science fiction fanatics, her works geared more towards suburban housewives who find comfort in self-help and DIY activities to fill their time when their children g off to Uni. The great thing about being a successful author was you never really have to leave the house once you’ve got a few big hits. But that could turn you into a washed up has-been as well. All Liam had to do was make sure her pulse was still moving every once in while.

 

 

The pressure to keep his top position where he was, was a _heavy_ one, squeezing that aquaduct inside him _hard_.

 

 

It was only a matter of time before they all imploded.

 

 

So some weekends, he’d come to the volatile social event known as a party hosted in his neighborhood or some country house and forget about his parents and his future and his life in general for a while. Snort some obscure grade of blow. Dance until his feet were numb and drink until his brain was gone. Smoke until his throat was sore, just like the rest of his imperfect peers. Mingle. Socialise. Have “fun”. That's what the socialites do here. Then, he’d put his uniform back on and act like his place was here was where he really wanted to be, on this beautiful beach.

 

 

This was Wellington.

 

 

“Sex isn’t… everything. Money isn’t everything. It’s all so meaningless. Money hasn’t got a soul or a heart. You can’t make love to it.” He mumbles again sleepily.

 

 

“Why chase all that when I’ve got Z?”

 

 

Niall wants to tell him that he _doesn’t_ have Zayn and he can’t make love to him because he doesn’t have any of those things either.

 

 

Every single day, Niall tells him there’s a whole other world of people that are much more stable than him because Zayn is the most unstable, _soulless_ piece of work on this entire beach and he’s been making Liam’s life so much more complicated than what Liam needs on top of his home and school-life or deserves at all. His love-life is being ruined before he can even really have one.

 

 

But, Liam won’t listen to Niall no matter how much he beats that into his tweaked-out brain.

 

 

“Why see the _entire world_ when you’ve got some lousy beach that will never love you back and treat you like shit?” Niall retorts sarcastically.

 

 

He knows Liam would hate Wellington if Zayn wasn't here. It's probably not the _only_ reason he doesn't really want that scholarship but he'd be lying if he said Zayn wasn't the reason for that or the reason he's celibate.

 

 

It’s not supposed to be give up seeing the whole world and living life for one imitation of a beach.

 

 

In Niall’s honest opinion, this beach, like Zayn, is just holding Liam back from being someone better. _Seeing_ someone better. But all he sees is Zayn. And Zayn gave him the imitation of someone who gave a shit about him for 7 years.

 

 

If you just stare at one beach your whole life, you miss out on the entire world around you. Liam's tunnel vision will be his ultimate demise when he finally takes a step back and sees that he's all alone and Zayn was never here with him.

 

 

But, Niall's still got time to open his eyes.

 

 

“Just get _laid._ Do it for me, _once_ and you’ll see how great life can truly be.”

 

 

Niall just can’t picture how Liam lives without having sex. He doesn’t even _touch himself._ That’s against nature in so many cruel ways, Niall feels bad for his neglected dick.

 

 

“Sex isn’t everything.” Liam says for a third time tonight. “I don’t want that. I don’t need the whole world. Z’s all I need.”

 

 

“And everything you’ll never _have.”_ Niall mutters when he thinks Liam can’t hear him anymore, taking another drag.

 

 

“Aye _Nialler_ , just keep talking shit about me behind my back right in my face, yeah? Do please continue.” Zayn says from where he’s leaning in a dark corner behind them, drink in hand and one leg propped up against the wall with Luke Hemmings crowding up in his space.

 

 

He didn’t look very interested in whatever Luke was saying in his ear.

 

 

“Zay!” Niall quips in surprise, blowing out smoke. He hadn’t even noticed him there.

 

 

“Long time no see. Where ya been, buddy?” Niall smiles, feeling giddiness starting to tickle his lungs.

 

 

He and Zayn definitely _weren’t_ friendly towards each other usually but the drugs are making Niall feel extra nice.

 

 

Zayn tells Luke they’ll pick this up later as he hands him his drink before walking away towards Niall and Liam, much to Luke’s disappointment. Niall didn’t even know the Aussie swung that way but, then again, there weren’t many people who didn’t swing Zayn Malik’s way, straight or not.

 

 

He had this funny quality about him that made him seem like he was immuned to gender rules, and it wasn’t his long flowing hair. He just always oozed sexuality and this unique swagger no one could quite figure out. He was something no one could understand and that made him an exception to all, including Niall.

 

 

Liam wasn’t making shit up. Zayn _does_ look really good. He’s dressed in red wine.

 

 

His usually black biker boots have been traded in for an unusually higher end brand of pure white _Christian Louboutin trainers_ with red velvet bottoms that he had to have just bought recently from the shine of them… and that was expensive for even _Niall’s_ taste.

 

 

Black jeans and a mahogany, tight-fit t-shirt with Tupac smoking in the front, cleanly shaven with his thick long hair all down and waving around his neck with a gold chain sitting on his collarbone reading _Zay_ in cursive, his street name. Or the nickname all his music buddies called him. Like he’s too cool to include the last letter of his name.

 

 

He really does look ice cold. Especially without a jacket on out here.

 

 

He usually looks like he doesn’t give a shit about what he’s wearing but Niall can clearly see that he actually spent a _lot_ of his money on his outfit and Zayn wasn’t the type around here who had money to be slinging around. Even what he still might get from the music he made with Touch wouldn’t afford him thousand pound worth of shoes and clothes.

 

 

Niall wasn’t just wondering who Zayn was blowing to be getting those kinds of means. He was also wondering who the hell was _he_ trying to impress tonight and if this is why he’s been a ghost for the last several months.

 

 

Zayn leans down and takes the joint from Niall to take a hit.

 

 

“Careful, that’s not weed, Malik.” Niall warns him.

 

 

Zayn had a thing against doing anything harder than marijuana just the same as Niall, but he only shrugs and lights up anyways, then blows smoke out in perfect rings into the cool night air.

 

 

They watch the beach flow in the dark ahead of them, together for a while in silence while they share the joint, passing it back and forth after each puff.

 

 

The waves crash into the shore and Niall thinks he can feel the mist all over his skin, sparkling like the stars they can’t see because of the light pollution from the city.

 

 

The fogginess in his brain almost makes him laugh at the mental image of stars twinkling all over his skin instead of water, picturing himself looking like a disco ball.

 

 

Shit, this stuff is pretty strong.

 

 

Niall’s never done coke or Molly but he’s had a quaalude before because Harry has lots of antidepressants and he let him use one for sleep once.

 

 

It almost feels like that now as sleep nudges at his brain. Quaaludes induce sleep and were created in the 50s for old housewives that suffered from insomnia. Maybe there’s some mixed in there. The thing is, if you stay awake on ludes, your high hits you even harder, which is the appeal in abusing the sleep medication.

 

 

Mixing that with _ecstasy and coke_ , and whatever else is in this stuff _…_ turns your adrenaline high into a relaxed, trip.

 

 

 _“Wow… fuck,”_  

 

 

It takes Niall 10 full seconds to blink.

 

 

 _Everything_ slows down and blends into each other, colours he’s never seen before reflecting off the water under the moonlight blanketing the beach.

 

 

Another bout of his high hits him now, like a bass guitar strumming one note through his limbs as it vibrates like a massage and he decides he should’ve tried Sophie ages ago as his whole body evaporates into bliss. And this is after a few hits? Liam must be in outer space right now.

 

 

Niall briefly wonders why drugs are named after girls.

 

 

_Molly. Mary Jane. Tina. Crystal. Sophie._

 

 

Girls didn’t make _Niall_ feel this good. This thought slips out of the haze in his mind. Why get married when you could have this?

 

 

All his senses _open_ and it _does_ feel fantastic. It makes him think about Tom.

 

 

He can hear the city in the distance behind them, alive and well with race cars running up and down the streets, leaving skid marks on the yellow brick roads.

 

 

He can see the edge of the skyline where the moon sits and judges them from the sky, a deep, rich shade of royal blue where it touches the beach before gradually becoming black above. He can smell the water from here too, fresh and energising even though he’s feeling drowsy.

 

 

Wellington beach was so beautiful in the dark.

 

 

 _“It looks so real.”_ He murmurs to no one in particular.

 

 

This beach might be Liam’s _Zayn_ but to Niall, this beach was all his _Tom_. Everyone else was the rest of the world around them and another slippery thought escapes his subconsciousness.

 

 

Liam’s right.

 

 

_What in the world was he doing with everyone else?_

 

 

The smell of that sweet thing Zayn’s always carrying next to him slaps that thought out of his mind.

 

 

The guy always wears perfume that smells like flowers, like a girl, and it always makes Niall scoff when he smells it cause Zayn couldn’t be anything more than a stereotype.

 

 

“I’m kinda trying to get back into the music thing.” Zayn answer’s Niall’s original question of where he’s been.

 

 

“Solo?” Niall’s brows rise. Zayn only shrugs, blinking his own blood-shot eyes at the beach.

 

 

“Dunno. Something different.” he shrugs.

 

 

He hadn’t been to a lot of the parties this year either, which Niall didn’t really blame him for. Wellington was becoming a bit dull in that department. How long can you dance to the same old beat of the same repetitive song? A lot of people were heading to Cooley as of late. Niall wonders if that’s where Zayn’s been.

 

 

Even _he_ was finding this as an excuse to fuck right now. There was nothing new here.

 

 

Even sex. Blasé blasé blasé.

 

 

“Oh I just love music,” Liam coos deliriously into the air, eyes still closed. “Lovely lovely music.”

 

 

Niall had almost forgot Liam was even there, he’s been so quiet. Zayn quirks an eyebrow at him, smiling fondly across Niall’s way as they all sit there, doped out together. Niall wasn’t sure if it was the drugs or if he was actually seeing _Zayn Malik_ smiling at _Liam Payne_.

 

 

Being this close to him was shocking enough actually.

 

 

“What’s he on?” he asks, thoroughly amused with Liam humming along to the faint music coming from the house behind them, _Childish Gambino_ dripping into the air outside.

 

 

Have you ever heard what [Redbone ](https://twitter.com/chloestixx/status/863645128929361920)sounds like, muffled, at a party? It sounds unreal.

 

 

 _‘stay woke,... don't you close your eyes…’_ The lyrics urge them ironically. The longer they stay awake on whatever this is, the higher they get.

 

 

“Some goody bag Leigh-Anne gave him that’s probably 1,000 times stronger than this.” Niall shrugs,

 

 

“Sophie. Actually, she seems to have supplied the whole party so her wallet’s fat tonight.”

 

 

Niall feels like laughing at that thought too for some reason but he controls the urge, holding it back as he watches Zayn get up and sit down next to Liam now on the other side of Niall so he’s sandwiched in the middle without much space between the three of them at all now, looking at him like he’s watching the sunset.

 

 

Yeah, the drugs were definitely screwing with Niall’s head.

 

 

“Where’s your other half?” Niall asks conversationally.

 

 

Zayn, even without his missing “N” was “Zerrie” when he wasn’t alone.

 

 

Zayn’s red eyes shoot back at him.

 

 

“She’s at home, _minding her own business._ ” He says flatly, then adds “And if anyone asks, so was I. Got it?”

 

 

Niall narrows his eyes at him.

 

 

“Oh, do I sense _Zay_  keeping more secrets from the masses?” He taunts.

 

 

Zayn rolls his big brown eyes, no coloured contacts today. He looks more like himself than he has in years if you just add a couple of designer clothes to him.

 

 

“Hardly a secret.”

 

 

“... but you don’t want me telling anyone I saw you here…”

 

 

“If you don’t mind.” Zayn smiles sweetly, and Niall snorts.

 

 

“And what about the Aussie glaring at you over there?” Niall nods behind them towards Luke, still waiting impatiently for Zayn to be done chatting with other people.

 

 

“I doubt _‘_ straight _’_ jocks go around telling people they were anywhere near me.” Zayn says and… okay, point taken. Niall could fucking relate. If you’re seen anywhere with Zayn, the rumours spread their ugly wings and _fly._

 

 

“And what do I get from keeping my mouth shut?”

 

 

Niall would enjoy finally having something over the enigmatic Zayn, seeing that he had enough dirt on Niall to dig him 3 whole graves. Zayn’s eyes twinkle a little as he smirks at Niall.

 

 

“Depends on what you _want_.” His voice does that thing he always does, that distracts you and makes you instantly think about sex, like Zayn is some kind of succubus, seductress disguised as a boy.

 

 

Niall looks over Zayn's shoulders that make his deep red t-shirt stretch across his chest, kind of funny. He had slightly broad shoulders and a really thin torso so his upper body was almost shaped like a skinny slice of pizza.

 

 

A really sexy, mouth watering slice that would more than likely do you more harm than good if you indulged.

 

 

His eyes trail down to Niall’s middle which of course twitches at the silent implication as Niall imagines how that endlessly euphoric feeling of Zayn making his eyes roll back to his skull would feel, high like this if he was grinding on his belt.

 

 

As always, it’s as if Zayn reads his mind after placing the thought in his subconscious and making him think about sex, which only makes Zayn smirk even more, amused with how effortlessly he can do this to Niall. Make him suddenly hot all over with just one look. He wonders where Zayn learned how to do that or if he was just born with that smirk in his eye and sex as his first language.

 

 

Niall swallows hard as his cheeks heat up, glancing around the patio.

 

 

There weren’t a tonne of people out here. They could easily slip away for a moment but… _what the hell was Niall even thinking?_

 

 

There was no way no one would see them going off somewhere together and no one seeing Niall bending it back for _Zayn_ and let word get around that Niall and Zayn were seen together at Kendall’s place. Niall couldn’t exploit Zayn without exposing himself.

 

 

Two of the biggest slags in school, _together_? It wouldn’t look good.

 

 

The fact that he was even considering it like this just reminds him of how fucking high he really is right now. Zayn’s specialty was always straight guys.

 

 

And Liam was _right there._ Zayn sees Niall frown at Liam’s oblivious state of being and smiles knowing that he was gonna keep his mouth shut without any further persuasion and/or sexual favours.

 

 

It wasn’t only about everyone knowing or assuming him and Zayn were fucking, something Niall would DIE from if that _ever_ got out in Wellington. It was about Liam knowing (and maybe Tom) and for some reason, he couldn’t go that far knowing it’d hurt them. Not that he wouldn’t, or _hasn’t_ , hooked up with Zayn. This just wasn’t the best time or place right now.

 

 

“So, I’m not here, yeah?” Zayn reaffirms, and Niall shrugs.

 

 

“Whatever dude. I’ll remember that the next time I need a favour then.”

 

 

Zayn nods in agreement. Not even 5 seconds later, someone else comes out of the house to the patio.

 

 

“Hi Z.” Melissa Steel smiles sweetly, waving her pretty, manicured fingers at Zayn, who gives her his own pretty little smile.

 

 

“Hey baby girl.” He chirps as she approaches them, her nickname in their group as a homage to being the Aaliyah of Wellington.

 

 

She only let Zayn and Maz call her that.

 

 

There’s no hostility between them at all so Niall supposes there’s no hard feelings about Zayn pretty much abandoning their band.

 

 

Zayn had a habit of breaking things off out of nowhere like that. It was his own bad reputation here at Wellington aside from being their local slag and why you’d be better off _not_ getting involved with him.

 

 

He was more than just a slut. He was the kind of guy that might hang around you for a while, flirt with you and make you feel like you’re the sexiest thing he’s ever laid eyes on, until you finally have sex and you might not ever hear from him again and you suddenly feel ugly and used, even unwanted when you hear he’s given someone else the exact same kind of attention.

 

 

Niall knew that Zayn usual had sex with people so have something over them.

 

 

Get involved with him in _any_ kind of way and, at random, he may never acknowledge your existence again after he’s had his fun, whether you're his friend, hook-up or bandmate. But people never learn to take caution not to get attached to him. Cause he won’t get attached to you.

 

 

Liam could tell you how that really feels to have 7 years of close friendship disappear into _nothing_ overnight. But, that doesn’t stop the public from indulging when Zayn decides to grace the masses with his presence.

 

 

Nowadays, it was a general agreement that if you’re seen anywhere with Zayn, master of stealth, then you’re _probably_ fucking which is why Niall tried to stay away from him if there were too many eyes, as well as the rest of the guys Zayn fornicates with. But still, _he_ always did the ignoring when he was done with you, which would hurt even the most deeply closeted jocks when they see Zayn the next day and he looks right past them like they’re not even worth a second-glance.

 

 

It was almost emasculating. This effeminate dude who smells like flowers, using jocks for sex whenever he feels like it and moving onto the next like it was a little snack.

 

 

The funniest thing was, Niall couldn’t even call him a man-eater or a heartbreaker cause he's pretty sure he does the same thing with girls. He just respected girls enough to remain friends after sex.

 

 

Like with Melissa.

 

 

Everyone knows Zayn _probably_ popped her cherry at a party last year and the whole band probably got down all summer long with Maz, and he most likely left their band hanging out to shrivel up _dry_ this year, like he dumped his boyfriend _and_ girlfriend without a word yet, they're all still close friends.

 

 

He could have them all if he wanted and there wasn’t a single person that's turned him down no matter how shitty they might’ve felt the last time they were tossed aside.

 

 

Only Zayn could do that.

 

 

He’s that delicious slice you know you’ll regret later but it’s so good, you momentarily forget that. Then afterwards, when it’s all done, it might make you feel like complete shit. But that still doesn’t stop you from going back in for another slice, repeating the vicious cycle over and over again.

 

 

Niall smiles at Melissa like she’s the prize at the carnival he’s been trying to win but when she turns to him, her sweet smile morphs into a scowl in disgust.

 

 

“Hello Dionne.” He always calls her that instead of Lissa cause of the way she dresses.

 

 

“Why are you such a fucking prick!?” she spits angrily, _worlds_ away from the love she was sending Z’s way. Niall only smiles at her.

 

 

“What’re you going on about, rapunzel?”

 

 

He leers at the way her long braids come down to her back and sit right above her bum which her short, skin tight leather skirt hugs quite nicely in Niall’s opinion. Her nose scrunches up when she’s angry, and Niall makes a note to tell her how cute it is. Girls loved that kind of thing.

 

 

“I’m talking about you, being such an asshole to Tom!” She exclaims. Niall looks at her chest, the words,

 

 

 _Too rich to die,_ embroidered in cursive red across her small shirt with a pink furry robe with a silk back. She always dressed like she's from the cast of Clueless.

 

 

His brow knits together in confusion as what she says registers slowly and Melissa purses her pink glossed lips and crosses her arms over her chest Niall is staring at, waiting for his response.

 

 

“You know? Tom? My best friend?” She helps remind him. “The guy you refuse to acknowledge as your _boy_ friend, inside there crying to me about how you completely dismissed after you just had your stiff little prick shoved up his a--”

 

 

“Little?!?” Niall huffs now as his brain springs back to life again.

 

 

Now she’s just crossed a line.

 

 

“First of all, nothing about _my prick_ and _little_ should ever be used in the same sentence,” He starts. Melissa rolls her brown eyes.

 

 

“Second,” he continues, “I was just with Tom _30 minutes ago_ so excuse me for wanting to get some time to fuckin’ breathe and have a smoke with my friends here,” he gestures to Liam and Zayn, who are both now watching the entire exchange together like they’re watching a movie, leaning back on their elbows.

 

 

“Um, yeah, I’m not you friend” Zayn interjects. Niall shrugs at him dismissively.

 

 

“And _last_ ,” He continues, turning back to Melissa and pausing for dramatic effect before he simpers cheesily.

 

“...did you really come all the way out here to find me so you could talk about _Tom_?” He raises his eyebrows at her, smirking. Her already angry face scrunches up even more and Niall can’t get enough of riling her up.

 

 

“You look very nice tonight by the way. Can I get you a drink? You seem awfully tense.” He offers with a polite smile. His condescending tone like all this is _so_ basic should be pissing her off more.

 

 

She shakes her head at him in utter disbelief.

 

 

“I don’t know why I even _bother._ ” She mutters as she starts away with her furry red heels clicking across the pavement, back into the house.

 

 

Liam and Zayn both turn back around, leaning back on their elbows and watching the beach together now, bored of the _Niall and Melissa show_.

 

 

“Oh you know why! You love to bother me don’t you? All the vanilla in the world and you’re right here. I’m still waiting on that swirl.” Niall calls after her, laughing. Melissa whips back around briefly.

 

 

“One more thing,” She ignores Niall’s cringe-worthy comment, “A few people are complaining about Harry’s unconscious body getting in the way of people trying to piss in the toilets you _fucking_ twat.”

 

 

Niall’s smirk disappears as he sits up straight now.

 

 

_“What?!”_

 

 

Melissa shakes her head as she goes back inside. Niall thinks he hears something along the lines of him being an “unbelieveable dickhead” or “God I want to give him head” under her breath.

 

 

He decided it’s the second one.

 

 

“Hey Ni, I know where Harry is!” Liam chirps excitedly, as if they all didn’t just hear it.

 

 

“I don’t know how you get anything in. You’re a fucking prick, y’know that? Of course you know that.” Zayn laughs, shaking his head and blowing more smoke into the air. Niall snorts.

 

 

“I dunno how you can stand that fucking _attitude._ This is why no one fucks with redbones.”

 

 

“She hasn’t got an attitude. You’re just a dick.”

 

 

Niall laughs fully now. He forgot, everyone is fucking _in love_ with Zayn. Including Melissa Steel.

 

 

“How do you get her to be so nice to you? Or is your dick just made out of gold?”

 

 

“Even if we point out the fact that you can’t seem to remember her name or think of her as anything other than a piece of food, I think you already know the answer to your own questions. So you tell me, Horan. Is it? Can’t fuck myself can I.”

 

 

Niall ignores that entire comment.

 

 

“I’ve never been with a mixed-race girl before.” He says blankly, picking his nails casually. “I mean, Leigh-Anne once or twice but, that was _ages_ ago. This shit with _Dionne_ has been goin’ a for a _year_ now. She should be happy I’m even still into her. She’s such a fuckin’ titty-tease.”

 

 

Zayn only shakes his head as he listens to Niall, watching the beach flow on while he smoke the joint.

 

 

“And _that…_ is _exactly_ why she will never give your fuck-ass face the time of day.”

 

 

His eyes rolls into his skull now.

 

 

“Please tell us, professor Malik. Inquiring minds wanna know since you’re always 3-balls deep in chocolate. What’s the secret?” He’s full of sarcasm now.

 

 

Zayn finally looks back at him with a grimace as he shakes his head like he’s disgusted.

 

 

“She’s not a _toy_ here for the entertainment of fetishising, clown-ass leprechauns. It’s dehumanising and _mocking_ and people like you are the fucking reason she stopped wearing her head scarf cause you treat her like some erotic object to _gawk_ at. Coming from someone who knows what it feels like being a minority in this fucking school, it makes me sick even _lookin’_ at you _._ I hope she spits in your face the next time you call her Dionne.”

 

 

Niall arms go up in protest.

 

 

“Fetish? Are you fucking kidding me? That’s a _compliment._ I’m not _insulting_ her. All you fucking people do is complain. No one can say anything without _offending_ someone. It’s like you’re actively _looking_ for something to be angry about no matter what I say anyways. I’m not racist.”

 

 

Another thing about Zayn that pisses Niall off. He’s so self-congratulatory and doesn’t associate with hardly anyone in this school because he thinks he knows _everything_ and is better than everyone and would probably call himself “woke” if the term hadn’t become it’s own joke. It just made Niall want to get up and punch him in the face sometimes.

 

 

Zayn used to hang out at Cooley university a lot with Melissa and Maz seeing that he lives near there so he gets outside of their bubble of luxury frequently and can literally and figuratively see both sides from his house and he’s had a long history with microaggression and racism his entire life being mixed race _himself_ before he even got here in year 5.

 

 

Even if Niall knows this, Zayn still pisses him off for some reason without even doing much.

 

 

 _“You fucking people_ , he says.” Zayn snorts to himself, shaking his head.

 

 

“You know what, I’m not even gonna humour you anymore because I have nothing to complain about at this point because it’s all in vain. I’ve been here for 7 years and I’m done wasting my breath on “you fucking people.” You are just so _lost_ in so many fucking ways, I want to _weep_ for the scared little boy suffocating in your closet _.”_ Zayn resigns now simply.

 

 

“I’m gonna be as blunt as possible with you right now, Horan.” He starts seriously. “First off, if choosing her to be the first black girl you’ve slept with in a year is supposed to be a “ _compliment_ ,” then I guess 1 + 1 must equal _dog_ in your brain. She’s not mixed. She’s Somali. And her name is Lissa, not “Dionne”. And _you_ don’t get to call her a redbone.” He makes sure he enunciates so Niall understands him, like he’s talking to a moron.

 

 

“I didn’t even call you racist so you feeling guilty or uncomfortable about anything I say right now should tell you something about yourself. It doesn’t matter how you “compliment” her. You’re still casually degrading her strictly based off her race and gender because you _know_ you wouldn’t say that to anyone else and that is the _literal_ definition of discrimination. You only talk to her like that _because_ she’s black and a girl and it’s not funny to anyone but “you fucking people”. You’re just _willfully_ ignorant so you can intentionally piss her off which is arguably just as bad _._ Second of all, you’re not entitled to her tits just because she’s a girl and you give her attention by _harassing and patronising her_ . That just makes you a _chauvinistic clown._ Misogyny and microaggression isn’t a turn-on. And last, a little fyi for you - the more you know and all that shit - the secret is: She only dates people of colour and doesn’t like climbing _pink_ dick. So you’re seriously wasting your time on your “conquest” that is _far_ out of your reach. She’s not attracted to you in more ways than one nor will she _ever_ be. Oh, and I can’t forget about the _actual_ problem here. To that _special_ little voice in your closet that doesn’t actually want her tits, _she doesn’t have a dick.”_ He whispers the last part.

 

 

“Shootout to pink dick, though. You guys are great.” He ends it with, nudging Liam’s shoulder now.

 

 

Liam laughs really hard next to Zayn, which makes Zayn look at him and laugh too, biting his lip in after all the hostility between he and Niall surfaces again, like always, that’s been there bewteen them since year 8 when Niall first got here.

 

 

Zayn always calls out Niall and he _hates it_ because he’s always right and Niall will _never_ admit that to him.

 

 

“And word of advice, if you wanna sound straight, I’d suggest you never in your life use the term “titty-tease” ever again.”

 

 

“Fuck you _Malik_ ,” Niall spits sourly now as he glares. “Keep reminding everyone why _no one talks to or comes around you_ unless your goddamn mouth is full, fucking faggot.”

 

 

The air carries those ugly words like an anvil, crashing down on them with the wave out ahead.

 

 

Zayn’s eyebrows rise like he’s surprised and caught off guard for a split second as his eyes focus behind Niall for a moment before he seems to remember that this is _nothing_ to be surprised by at all coming from Niall as his whole face relaxes again, snorting as he turns back to the beach now, leaning back on the stone-cold steps again on his elbows.

 

 

“And _there_ it is.” He laughs a little, shaking his head to himself again.

 

 

 _“Fucking faggot,_ he says.” Zayn narrates.

 

 

Being a singer with a wide vocal range, Zayn had many voices and spoke many languages he used respectively for whatever the moment called for, like wearing a different ball gown for whatever the occasion was.

 

 

Even his speaking voice has a wide range.

 

 

A flirty voice that invited you to lay with him, speaking the language of sex. A charming one that told you everything you wanted to hear. His home voice he only used with his family, speaking his home language. A passionate voice that spoke his mind around his friends and colleagues, speaking the language of his thoughts beliefs. And sometimes even no voice, letting his actions speak for him.

 

 

Right now, he’s got his narrator voice out, calling out the irony of the situation like he's speaking to an audience.

 

 

“Said the pot to the fucking kettle.”

 

 

As if Niall wasn’t panting in the back of Zayn’s truck 3 months ago.

 

 

He doesn’t even have to add the last words to describe Niall. He internalised them and wore them like clothes. Until he sees Zayn and is reminded of everything he hates.

 

 

The way he walks. The way he talks. Even the way he thinks. He blends right in and just like this beach, it’s all a _farce._

 

 

As far as Zayn is concerned, this really has _nothing_ to do with Melissa to Niall and he’s glad she’s smart enough not let herself be used as his bulletproof vest, unlike _others_ . He doesn’t even hate Zayn because he’s mixed either like how he pretends. He’s just a fucking coward, hiding his glass closet behind misogyny and microaggressive _misogynoir_.

 

 

He’d rather act like an ignorant asshole than admit his own truth.

 

 

Niall doesn’t even know why he said that as silence hangs now. Zayn's silence is always profoundly heavy.

 

 

“This isn’t a “pot to the kettle”,” Niall scoffs now. “Like you’re so honest about whatever the fuck you are?”

 

 

“A fucking faggot, init? Least I’m not a coward.”

 

 

“It’s like you _want_ to be called that,” Niall almost accuses Zayn of something he’s not sure of, blaming him for something he said himself.

 

 

 _“Me?”_ Zayn asks mockingly as he holds his chest like he’s in shock.

 

 

 _“I_ didn’t make you say that Mr. Leprechaun. I’m just the observant narrator. I’m not God and neither are you. You don’t know _shit_ about me. I don’t have to walk around with my dick out to assure everyone of who the fuck I am.” He laughs again.

 

 

“The funniest thing is, you are the shittiest liar I have ever met in my life. You can’t even convince _yourself_ of your own lie. You know why you can’t commit to who you want to or _change_ who you really are so all this bullshit like with Lissa builds up so you don’t have to deal with it. Distracting yourself and hiding behind someone at the expense of someone else and that just makes you a _coward_ . You don’t even _realise_ how fucking deep you internalise that shit until you see _me_ because I’m the only known “fucking faggot” in this school that isn’t Tom that doesn’t blend in and you just hate that so much and you don’t even fucking know why. And that’s _sad,”_

 

 

Zayn shakes his head for a pause. Niall doesn’t even say anything.

 

 

He looks at Zayn and he sees every single time they’ve had sex and Niall hates that more than just for Liam’s sake. Maybe he doesn’t hate it for Liam’s sake at all.

 

 

“You just told _this_ soulless beach that you hate yourself.” Zayn says now, answering Niall’s own confused thoughts.

 

 

“And that… is _truly_ the most pathetically sad thing in Wellington. So you fit _right_ in, just like how you desperately want and even I could never achieve such a feat. So congratulations, that’s saying a _lot._ I commend you for your honesty.”

 

 

The waves seem to shake the ground now as they stare at it after Zayn’s full read.

 

 

He may not subscribe to any real labels or hang out with any cliques but, when Zayn decides to come out of hiding, he will read you and anyone else who needs it any day of the week like it’s his damn job and not a word of it will be a lie.

 

 

All Niall can think now is that being high at a party sucked balls to being on a rooftop.

 

 

He wants to apologise for everything he’s said or tell Zayn he’s wrong or just tell him he hates him but, his mouth can’t bring itself to say it _anything_ . He doesn’t know why he can’t just _say it._

 

 

Zayn’s right. He is a coward.

 

 

“You know what,” Niall starts again but Liam finally speaks now, cutting him off, reminding everyone he’s still there again.

 

 

“Niall, say something else and I unhinge your jaw.”

 

 

His voice sounds in but he’s still out of his mind. But his comprehension must be coming back to be registering everything they just said a little.

 

 

Zayn laughs, nodding in agreement.

 

 

“ _Please_ punch him in the face Lima, I’ve been waiting four long years and I will cum in 3 different languages.”

 

 

They smile at each other for a moment and Niall swears they’re both sober until Liam let’s out a loud laugh, way too loud to sound normal. Zayn giggles at that.

 

 

“You called me Lima, holy shit! What a throwback.” He says, another loud laugh. Zayn watches him tenderly.

 

 

“I can’t believe you’re even _talking_ to me.” Liam laughs, and yeah, that was something he and Niall could agree on right now, honestly.

 

 

Zayn’s expression gets serious.

 

 

He doesn’t say anything in response, his ring littered fingers tucking a lock of black hair behind his ear as a trail of black hoop earrings appear down his ear.

 

 

Liam looks serious too, which looks so bizarre on the account of him laughing every other moment then looking dead serious again 2 seconds later.

 

 

“Am I dreaming?” He asks, squinting suspiciously at Zayn.

 

 

“You’re not dreaming, Lima.” Zayn sighs.

 

 

They stare at each other for a long moment then until Liam starts a barrage of random questions. Personal questions that Niall _definitely_ doesn’t want to have knowledge of.

 

 

“When you’re fucking other people do you think of me?” He asks out of nowhere. Zayn looks at him, horrified.

 

 

 _“What?_ No! Don’t _ask me_ shit like that.” He immediately blurts, pushing Liam with one hand but Liam holds his wrist before it gets away. Liam does his weird laugh for a split second then back to serious Liam.

 

 

“When you’re _alone_ do you think of me?” He tries again.

 

 

Zayn stares at him for a long time with his arm between them before nodding slowly. Liam continues with his serious face, laughing less and less.

 

 

“Do you wank over me?”

 

 

Zayn nods again, face _unreadable_.

 

 

Niall doesn’t know if he’s in awe or if he’s uncomfortable. Maybe a mixture of both.

 

 

The last time he _legitimately_ seen them talking or in the same room was back in year 10 when they were still friends. They’re currently in year 12 to give you some perspective.

 

 

There was a party once last year that sparked Liam’s drug addiction but, Niall doesn’t think that time really counts cause Liam was _completely_ fucked up and Zayn was _very_ angry with him and everyone at that party that let Liam do drugs and they haven’t really spoken since nor has Zayn shown his face in the open at a shindig like that ever again… until now apparently.

 

 

Niall has absolutely no idea what the fuck happened at that party as he was pretty engrossed in it himself nor does he know what happened to them that summer between year 10 and 11 but Zayn changed a _lot._ Liam was lucky if Zayn even blinked in his direction all through the entire last year and Liam doesn’t seem to know why. He all but jumped through windows avoiding Liam in school and at parties over the last year or so. Now here he is, admitting to _touching_ himself to the thought of Liam.

 

 

They both suddenly behave as if Niall has vanished.

 

 

He thinks this must be what it's like to discover unicorns exist, kinda shocking maybe even a hallucination but most definitely impossible not to stare at in fascination. He does feel like he is intruding on a very private moment but… then again, Zayn walked up to them and started this.

 

 

Niall couldn’t find it in himself to leave them alone now as they ignore that he’s even there listening to everything.

 

 

Liam keeps drunkenly conversing with Zayn, getting more and more revealing the longer they sit there until it turns into a seemingly normal conversation.

 

 

“How’s the music going?” He hiccups a little, casually holding Zayn’s hand on the pavement now.

 

 

“‘S alright. Kind of in between genres at the moment. Might try for the x-factor this summer, if God wills it, as soon I can finally work up some nerve. Auditioning is kind of… terrifying. I’m trying to make a good song for it so it’s like, I dunno… original I guess. My friend knows this guy that’s with TDE that suggested it as a… start or something so I have stuff to show him but, I haven’t heard back from him so it probably isn’t gonna go anywhere. If they throw it out, at least the x-factor could be like a second chance or something.” Zayn shrugs, punctuated with a nervous laugh and Liam _exudes_ blinding happiness at that.

 

 

TDE was an independent record label in America. There’s currently only 8 hip-hop artists signed with _mild_ success. If Zayn is saying someone is trying to get him a chance to be signed to a label… _holy shit._

 

 

So _that’s_ where he’s been. Making his own music for an audition and possible _record deal_ . Niall guesses he just decided “fuck _school_.”

 

 

Niall’s actually heard his voice once at a talent show when he sang “I Am Beautiful,” in front of the whole school 2 years ago and it’s pretty kick-ass. But, he was so nervous, some assholes made an embarrassing scene in the middle of it so he didn’t finish and he hasn’t done anything like that since.

 

 

Even if he _didn’t_ make it to the x-factor, if he got a record deal, he may not ever need school again.

 

 

“Babe! That’s so good!” Liam pulls him in and wraps his arms around him, engulfing Zayn in a warm hug as he buries him into his chest and Zayn indulges him, letting himself be petted and cooed over lovingly, maybe even blushing a little as they melt into each other.

 

 

That might be Niall’s imagination though.

 

 

His eyes trail down to Zayn’s bum where a little purple, vibrant flower hangs half-way out of his back pocket that Niall can’t distinguished. It is being crushed against the pavement under his ass.

 

 

Liam squeezes Zayn tightly and he just burrows into him compliantly, unable to stop the huge grin from spreading across his face as his head moves against Liam’s chest, rocking him back and forth with Zayn’s arms dangling on either side of him loosely.

 

 

“You’re finally _singing!_ You’re gonna be so good Z. Like absolutely brilliant, you have such a lovely voice. I can’t believe you gonna sing!” Liam praises him.

 

 

Zayn never sang that much in Touch.

 

 

When he did, he was always on backup vocals behind Melissa’s lead where you can barely hear him and on the keyboard, Maz on drums. They scouted for a bass guitarist last year but they never found anyone available so Zayn learn some chords on the keyboard that sounded like a bass guitar. It was a pretty slick band. They usually made neo soul and r&b but the song that made it on billboard for the longest summer ever was almost like house-DJ music.

 

 

It was called “I Loved You,” and everyone knows Zayn wrote it and there was a rumour that it was about Liam cause the video even used a lesbian couple but, Melissa swore they _all_ wrote it and that it was about her and Maz, who used to date.

 

 

“I Loved You” was _That One_ catchy song of the summer, two summers ago.

 

 

The lyrics are pretty fucked up but, the beat Zayn made with Maz is so happy, you don’t even notice how sad the song actually is or that’s it’s even about falling out of love with someone despite the title.

 

 

That was a really good summer.

 

 

It was also the summer that Zayn left Liam.

 

 

 _“When you get through,”_ Liam doesn’t use “if,”. He uses certainty.

 

 

_“I’m gonna come to ever show and scream your name --”_

 

 

 _“No you’re not.”_ Zayn mumbles into his shirt.

 

 

_“-- so proud of you,”_

 

 

 _“Thanks, bean.”_ Zayn sniffs softly.

 

 

 _“Bean?”_ Liam repeated,like he can’t believe Zayn just said that.

 

 

 _“Habibi.”_ Zayn says now and Niall is losing his fucking mind if he’s just heard Zayn call Liam that cute little nickname he still doesn’t know the meaning of after almost probably 2 years now. And then, he loses it even more.

 

 

Liam lifts Zayn’s chin up and leans down as his forehead fully drags across Zayn’s until he _kisses_ him deeply on the lips with his hands pulling Zayn in at his lower back but Zayn laughs, turning his head away with his arms coming up to push Liam’s face off, like he’s… _shy_.

 

 

“You’re _cold,”_

 

 

_“Liar, I’m warm. You’re cold.”_

 

 

Liam’s face presses into Zayn’s as he says he wants to warm him up, kissing over his cheek to his neck now while Zayn just _laughs_ while Liam holds his waist gently, pulling him in more with his fingers crawling around towards Zayn’s back again and Zayn just barely holds Liam’s elbows now as he marks up Zayn’s neck with little nibbling and kissing and _sucking,_ half of his face disappearing in Zayn’s thick wavy hair.

 

 

From this angle, it actually looks like Liam is kissing a girl, bashful and giggling. Another small detail Niall knows about Zayn that most people don’t know: He’s anemic.

 

 

He gets intoxicated very easily so he doesn’t drink that much. And he _bruises_ even easier.

 

 

Those marks Liam is tatting on his neck are gonna be there for more than just a few days. Niall accidentally gave him a hickey that lasted for a full _week_ before and it looked like Zayn had been punched in the throat with 5 steel knuckles, his lips stained deep into Zayn’s skin all over his neck for 7 whole days like an embarrassing smudge on a white t-shirt.

 

 

They were both usually drunk when something like that happened. _Usually._ On the rare occasion that they drank, they always ended up in each other’s vicinity.

 

 

Zayn made it a point to wear low cut shirts the entire time and only Niall knew where it came from. For a full week, he showed up in halls again instead of being his usual invisible self, seemingly wherever Niall was as if to say, _yeah, you did this to me and I’m gonna keep reminding you until it’s gone._

 

 

Zayn, always reminding Niall about shit he doesn’t want to be reminded of just by simply existing. Harry told him he was just being paranoid and Zayn definitely wasn’t following him around. His shame just made him more hyper-aware of Zayn’s existence.

 

 

Very few people actually _really_ know about him and Tom. As an actual thing, not a rumour. But even _fewer_ know anything about he and Zayn.

 

 

Zayn doesn’t try to kiss Liam back or push him off anymore, blushing and laughing with Liam’s face buried in his neck, craning into himself ticklishly as Liam smiles against him too.

 

 

Niall is 100% positive he is fucking hallucinating like _shit._ He considers filming this but, he’s too struck with shock to even think about trying to capture this to prove it’s really happening.

 

 

He’s _never_ seen them touch each other like this before, even when they were younger. He supposes that doesn’t really account for what they did in _private_ though, because he knows Zayn hates anything even _remotely_ close to P.D.A. He keeps his shit as discreet as possible. Even though it’s not anything rated R, still. They look like a normal couple at a party that’s in _love_ and this is the first time Niall has ever actually _seen_ Zayn kiss another boy, let alone it be letting Liam do this.

 

 

They’re so high.

 

 

Everywhere his hands touch, softens on Zayn. And every time his lips move, Zayn’s laughter turns into faint whimpers, just _barely_ audible as his head nods back a little with his eyes closed towards the sky. Niall thinks he might’ve heard a jiggling of a belt and a zipper but… that might just be his brain hearing things.

 

 

If Niall wasn’t watching, it’d sound like they were having sex.

 

 

He can’t see exactly where Liam’s hands are at this angle but if Zayn’s making those sounds just from having his neck kissed, well that’s more than Niall has _ever_ heard him produce with him, like Niall is some boring lay, and it would really piss him off if this wasn’t so crazy to actually witness.

 

 

He briefly wonders if Zayn came up with the name “Touch” for his old band.

 

 

Liam’s fingers find the back of Zayn’s neck through his hair and he caresses him so Zayn melts into the touch like warm butter and jitters slightly, gasping each time his body subtly jerks.

 

 

Liam’s other hand had slid down Zayn’s thin waist to his stomach on the other side so… those noises could be….

 

 

 _“... Liam,”_ Zayn grips his arms.

 

 

Yeah… it could be from Liam _touching_ him.

 

 

Zayn’s body curves around it a little as his back arches, like he’s letting Liam mold him into a new shape, still holding onto those elbows, tighter and tighter, like it’s the only thing _he’s_ allowed to touch even though Liam’s hands roam all over, not further than above the waist from what Niall can see. His hands look so big on Zayn’s smaller body, like he’s handling a delicate piece of porcelain.

 

 

His rolex briefly reflects some kind of blinding light from where Niall can’t see through Zayn’s hair when his hand comes back up to Zayn’s neck from his waist, pressing him into himself more as this particular spot of his neck makes Zayn clutch his elbows in desperation as he lets out this _orgasmic_ moan, rustling in his throat when his head falls against Liam’s shoulder, one shutter moving down his body like a wave while Liam mumbles, _“God I missed you, you look so fucking good, you always look good. Such a pretty-boy.”_ into him.

 

 

If Liam just made Zayn _cum_ like that, just from kissing his neck and touching his waist and hair….

 

 

Okay 1. That’s extremely impressive coming from a fucking virgin and 2. Niall would love to see how he’d reward Zayn for actually _winning_ the x-factor if this is his prize for just saying he wants to try out.

 

 

Who knew Liam had a touch like _that._ Only he could make a handjob look romantic. The kind of handjob that touches all over your body, not just the jock.

 

 

Liam laughs now, finally letting go of him altogether with a sigh when Zayn seems to _finish?_ Niall thinks he really just _did_ . He cranes his neck to see if Zayn is hard… because _Niall_ is.

 

 

Liam’s not.

 

 

Zayn was. _Holy shit they really just...._

 

 

Niall doesn’t even know what to think.

 

 

Zayn’s hair flops in front of his face when Liam slowly leans off him, his mouth ajar and his eyes closed as he comes down, now actually pouting when he opens his eyes, disappointed to be let go of as Liam lies on the patio, falling on his back sleepily. His right hand is face down on the ground. Niall’s not curious enough to see if it’s covered in jizz.

 

 

He just watches the beach again, unable to muster not one thought now. Except one.

 

 

They were all so goddamn high.

 

 

 _“Gonna smash it babe.”_ Liam yawns below them.

 

 

_“God, I’m so happy for you. Finally doin’ it.”_

 

Zayn doesn’t say anything after all that, like that last whimper took his voice away.

 

 

They stay silent for a long moment and Niall almost thinks this bizarre moment in history is over until Liam says.

 

 

 _“What a lovely dream.”_ sighing contently.

 

 

“All my life I’ve been dreaming of you on this beach. You broke my fucking heart and I’m still dreaming and dreaming about you.” He laughs now. “God, I love this beach. It’s like smelling flowers. I’ll never get sick of looking at it. It’s like a painting, like looking at _art_.”

 

 

His eyes are closed.

 

 

Liam could be all over the world right now. He only loves this beach cause Zayn’s here.

 

 

“I wish you’d look at me more often but… you won’t even talk to me. I wish you loved me too.” He mumbles.

 

 

Zayn’s breath catches.

 

 

“Hey Ni, isn’t Harry in the can?” Liam mumbles, his voice trailing off.

 

 

Niall is suddenly reminded of Harry passed out in the toilets and he thinks he’s the worst best friend in the world.

 

 

“Shit!” He hisses, shooting up and sprinting back towards the house before pausing at the door, looking back at Liam, seemingly passed out himself now.

 

 

“Uhh.. can you make sure he doesn’t go anywhere?” he asks Zayn, even if Liam doesn’t look like he’s moving anytime soon. But he had a habit of disappearing and getting into trouble when he was left alone high or drunk and since he’s currently both, well…

 

 

Zayn doesn’t even look at Niall, still watching Liam sprawled out on the patio with an unreadable expression, his face flushed and glistening after his big eruption, pulling Liam’s shirt down over his exposed v-line with slightly shaking hands and wiping fluff out of his pompadour hair before reaching for a jacket sitting behind them that Niall hadn’t noticed sitting there the entire time.

 

 

It’s expensive, oversized Chanel burgundy bomber, like red velvet wine, with gardens of embroidered flowers all over the sleeves, and Niall doesn’t think it belongs to Liam or that he’s ever seen it before as Zayn drapes it over Liam.

 

 

If Niall was sober, he’d think Zayn was actually crying right now from the shake of his hands and how shiny his face is from what looks like tears. It’s not hot enough at night for him to be sweating but his hair is over his eyes now so Niall can’t see clearly from this angle.

 

 

It was all so _strange_.

 

 

Niall runs inside then, off to take care of Harry like he should’ve done in the first place.

 

 

 

*

 

**Harry pov**

 

 

 

Harry’s entire body feels like it’s been beaten by the WWE wrestling squad, throbbing in synch with his pounding headache.

 

 

_“Jesus Stanley, you couldn’t at least move him?”_

 

 

He hears Niall’s voice somewhere in the room scold. One eye cracks open to find Niall crouching over him. Another crack open, and he’s met with the absolutely disgusting image of Stan’s ass hanging out of his jeans with Jade in front of him on the sink as he scrambles to pull up his pants.

 

 

“I didn’t even see him _down there,_ fucking hell,” Stan complains.

 

 

 _“What the fuck…”_ Harry croaks, confused as shit as to where the hell he is and what is going on.

 

 

Niall swoops up his body, bridal style before all but throwing him out of the bathroom into the hallway. Harry groans at the pain of hitting the ground.

 

 

_“Fuck Niall,”_

 

 

“I’m so sorry. I’m a terrible person, I know.”

 

 

Harry can’t even fully register what Niall’s saying, too preoccupied with his aching self, mainly his fucking _head_.

 

 

“Ni…” He whines as he’s propped up against the wall. Niall looks him over to see if he’s injured at all.

 

 

“Yeah?”

 

 

“I… I need…” Harry starts. Niall leans in closer.

 

 

“What? What do you want? Do you want to leave?” He’d go home with Harry the second he asked. He was ready to find Tom and get the hell out of here too.

 

 

Harry shakes his head.

 

 

 _“Coffee.”_ He groans.

 

 

Niall nods and clasps his hand on Harry’s arm.

 

 

“Coffee! Yes, you need coffee! Sobriety is good! I know something that will put you right to sleep bud,” He dashes away then.

 

Harry, still sitting against a wall, finally takes a moment to look at his surroundings.

 

 

He’s definitely still at Kendall’s house, only he’s upstairs, right next to the staircase. He watches the party goers flit past him, fluttering in and out of hallways, laughing and such.

 

 

There are massive bells ringing in his head and his brain is full of vomit. Nope. Absinthe was not Harry’s friend.

 

 

He continues to watch people from the ground. There’s Stan and Jade, who try to look casual as they stroll out of the loo, except Jade’s skirt is on backwards and when he makes eye contact with Stan, they both shudder.

 

 

He watches his friend Maz lean back against the stair railing with his blonde tinted afro, listening intently to Melissa ranting about something angrily while he nods along. Leigh-anne and Jesy are sitting at the top of the stairs next to Harry, sharing a joint.

 

 

Socialites socialising, flitting past him up and down Kendall’s immaculate staircase.

 

 

He felt so detached from it all.

 

Before his mind can drift any further, Niall appears again, coming up the stairs with an apologetic smile on his face, coffee mug in one hand and a half finished joint of his own in the other. Harry accepts the coffee.

 

 

“Feel better?” Niall asks, trying to ignore the daggers Melissa is sending him from across the way.

 

 

Harry nods, gulping the entire mug despite how hot it is.

 

 

“What’s that?” he asks, nodding towards the joint in Niall’s hand.

 

 

“Happy spliff!” Niall grins “Try it, you’ll love it. It’ll make you feel a whole lot better. You’ll sleep like a baby.”

 

 

Harry takes a hit from it and grimaces. It feels like a lude. Not the good kind. The kind that induces vomit cause it’s mixed with a bunch of other shit that Harry doesn’t like.

 

 

He’d rather have a cigarette.

 

 

“Where’d you get it?” He asks, receiving his answer from Leigh nodding in front of him.

 

 

Of course.

 

 

He always forgets that she’s practically the school dealer by now. It was so unexpected. This sweet looking, innocent girl with her posh voice and social standing, the daughter of two local art dealers, turning out to sell drugs. It’s not like she needed the money.

 

 

She was the liaison between Cooley and Wellington.

 

 

“It’s good shit mate. I swear, and you know I don’t usually smoke anything else.” Niall says encouragingly.

 

 

Harry wasn’t against doing drugs. It was almost impossible not to here at a party. But he didn’t usually smoke himself either outside of weed, unless it was just an occasional cigarette. Right now was an exception, obviously.

 

 

This night was his “fuck up” night so he was going full throttle. He’s still very drunk. Might as well get high too.

 

 

“You’ll never in a million years guest who’s talking downstairs. Actually… _more_ than just talking. Fucking… I don’t even know what you call it to be honest, _._ ” Niall grins, but it quickly fades as he hesitates.

 

 

“Who?” Harry asks, but Niall doesn’t answer.

 

 

He looks like he’s debating something internally before he finally decides to just say it.

 

 

“Edward and Zella.” he laughs at how Harry’s eye widen before narrowing them in scepticism.

 

 

“You’re shitting me.” He deadpans but Niall shakes his head quickly.

 

 

“I’m serious, they were kissing and everything. I think Liam might’ve given him a handjob? I dunno, but it was _wild,_ they’re both stoned. They’re still there! _”_

 

 

“No fucking way!” He shouts, a smile beginning to break surface on his face. Niall nods.

 

 

“Yes fucking way. Although, I’m not sure that Liam is gonna remember it. He passed out.” He laughs.

 

 

In front of them, Leigh-Anne nods.

 

 

“He won’t remember a thing.” She agrees.

 

 

“What’s he on anyways? That stuff he was snorting, what’s in it? That’s not just coke.” Niall asks her, since even Liam didn’t even seem to know.

 

 

Leigh-Anne shakes her head.

 

 

“A special mix.” She says vaguely.

 

 

“What were they talking about?” Harry asks, still kinda not believing Niall.

 

 

“Uhhh…” Niall pauses, “I _honestly_ don’t know. It was so weird.” he says, shaking his head.

 

 

“It sounds weird.” Harry starts giggling suddenly.

 

 

Liam and Zayn actually talking to each other again was a good thing but kissing? He can’t even picture it. He could imagine Liam’s outrage when he finds out he was tweaked out the whole time.

 

 

“Oh god, Liam’s gonna be so angry.” He laughs, thinking _poor lima bean_.

 

 

That was Zayn’s nickname for him.

 

 

Harry stands up, still a little wobbly at the legs, clinging to the rail as he climbs down slowly so he won’t break his neck over his crooked legs. It feels like he’s walking backwards.

 

 

“Come on, I want to see this Zayn-Liam interaction for myself.” Harry says, all giddy. Niall waves him off.

 

 

“I’m gonna chill back here for a tick but you go ahead. They’re outback on the patio.” Niall says, distracted as he makes his way over to Melissa and Maz.

 

 

When Harry gets out to the patio, he only finds Liam, sprawled out on his back, fast asleep with a bottle of water sitting next to his head, using a pretty flowered jacket as a blanket.

 

 

 _“Oh Liam,”_ He tuts, shaking his head sadly but ends up letting a laugh escape his lips.

 

 

He felt a sort of empty happiness. It wasn’t genuine. Just a faint tickling of his insides. He sits next to Liam and asks a girl smoking nearby, Ella from the art clubs, how long he’d been out.

 

 

“I dunno. He was like that when I got here.”

 

 

Harry asks her about Zayn but she tells him she didn’t see Zayn here.

 

 

They chat for a few minutes until Liam wakes back up, whatever high he was on come down.

 

 

“Z?” is the first thing he mumbles from his sleepy mouth.

 

 

“Nope, just me.” Harry says, patting his back as he sits up. He tries to sound sad for his sake but he can’t stop smiling dumbly.

 

 

“Dreaming about Zayn again? What was it this time?” He laughs dopily. His insides were too light and ticklish. Liam notices and groans.

 

 

“We were in America. He had a record deal in L.A. and I had a greenhouse on an Estate in Beverly Hills and Kensington Square we had together. Great, you’re fucked up too? Remind me to never take anything Leigh gives me for free ever again.”

 

 

“Yeah, I’m a little… a _lot_ tipsy too. And I passed out for a while but I came down here to see you and Zayn!” Harry cheers, then sticks out his bottom lip in a frown.

 

 

“But he’s not here.”

 

 

Liam rubs his face, tiredly.

 

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about but I’m also drunk so I’m not gonna think too hard about it.”

 

 

Harry blinks at him.

 

 

“So, you weren’t talking to Zayn out here?”

 

 

Liam looks at him confused.

 

 

“I don’t know _what_ the hell I’m doing out here. If I can only get him to talk to me when I’m pissed out of my mind, how sad would that be?”

 

 

There’s a pregnant pause before they both burst out laughing although neither of them thinks anything is funny about being here in this state. They’ve both got their own reasons for being here.

 

 

Harry goes on to explain to Liam that Niall told him he and Zayn were having a strange conversation that he didn’t really elaborate on any further so he may have possibly made it up just cause he likes fucking with people and he hates Zayn anyways so Harry doubts if he seen him here he would be hanging out in the same room with him.

 

 

Harry thinks he’s probably just taking the piss at Liam.

 

 

Liam shrugs.

 

 

“Yeah, I doubt Zayn’s _ever_ gonna talk to me again. He only looks at me in my dreams.” He yawns honestly.

 

 

“I just can’t _stand_ not talking to him. I dunno what to do without being too pushy.” He goes on.

 

 

If there was anyone who didn’t deserve to receive the shit spawned out of Wellington, Liam was the number one candidate in Harry’s opinion.

 

 

He’d never met a more good-hearted, innocent guy. Liam always put everyone before himself. Always. And he never asked for anything in return. He was all about pleasing everyone around him, even his parents at the expense of doing what he actually wants just because that’s the type of person he is.

 

 

It was a pure attribute but… it could be a little bad too. He tended to neglect his own priorities for others. Like school. It stressed him out to be engrossed in the load of schoolwork he took on like his other liked but he just, carries on like he actually likes it.

 

 

Or even like with Zayn, back when they were… on speaking terms.

 

 

Harry met Liam through Niall a few years ago in year 10 when he moved to London from Holmes Chapel. Although, they didn’t really get close until last year, mainly because Liam wasn’t spending all his time with Zayn anymore last year.

 

 

It was weird.

 

 

Year 10, Liam and Zayn were literally coined as “Liam and Zayn” as they had been since they were children. They were rarely ever apart, year 10 especially. Liam could be out somewhere alone and you might slip up and still call him “Liam and Zayn” like that was his name. Then the next year, total strangers. And Liam was devastated.

 

 

Unlike everyone else though, Harry actually knows Zayn outside of his enigmatic front he’s known for.

 

 

They’re not friends but Harry is pretty much the _only_ person Zayn could never dump, even if he wanted to, because they were forced to see each other every single day.

 

 

They’ve been co-presidents on the student council going on 3 years now, so Harry had to work with him everyday, 3rd period and occasionally outside of school hours. They weren’t necessarily friends but, they knew each other pretty well. Zayn would never dumb student council. Aside from music, he’s very passionate about it.

 

 

Year 10 is when Harry met Zayn as well and back then, he wasn’t at all the cheeky flirt he is now. He was closed off and _really_ depressed, more than anyone Harry had ever seen. Liam told them once on the roof that Zayn was actually clinically diagnosed with major depression that year and used to talk to a therapist after being put on suicide watch for a month cause he stopped eating. It wasn’t intentional but he just wouldn’t leave his room for days, sleep all day and all night. Liam wouldn’t tell them why but, he didn’t have to. It was personal enough with just sharing _that._

 

 

Zayn didn’t hang out with any friends as he didn’t really have any and he didn’t talk to anyone outside of school obligations back then, which he still rarely ever does.

 

 

Only back then, his exception was Liam. His only exception these days has been Perrie and his band.

 

 

He was a total _mess_ for months. The rumour at the time was that it was because Zayn’s best friend, Perrie Edwards, went crazy and got sent to the hospital.

 

 

Everyone knows that the “hospital” either means rehab or a psych unit.

 

 

He didn’t know if that was true or not because Harry wasn’t there the year before but, she was gone for over a year and it took a toll on Zayn for a really long time. All Harry knew was that it had something to do with Kendall.

 

 

 _Whatever_ happened to Perrie, after she went away, Zayn was absolutely miserable, and Liam was the only person who could talk to him. Sometimes he hung out with Niall and Harry when Liam would bring him out with them or any of his other friends but, he was never in the social mood around a tonne of people.

 

 

Then, Perrie came back that summer before year 11 and he joined a band and he stopped associating with Liam all together after he got busy with making music and spending all his time with Perrie again after being separated for over a year. That was also around the time he started sleeping around. A LOT.

 

 

Having Perrie back didn’t make him happier. He just… changed.

 

 

It really hurt Liam and he was sure he’d done something wrong and was determined to get back whatever he had with Zayn… _whatever_ that was. It was hard to tell what they’re relationship status really was back then. Like, they weren’t officially “boyfriends” but it was obvious to everyone that Liam was crazy about Zayn in more than a platonic way.

 

 

And he told Zayn everyday.

 

 

He didn’t hide that from anyone. His heart was always on his sleeve. Zayn’s feelings, however were… _unclear_. Which isn’t really saying much considering the fact that a lot of things about Zayn was a mystery.

 

 

That’s Zayn’s huge deal. The _mystery._ Sure, there’s rumours about all the people he sleeps with but no one ever comes out and _says_ they’ve had sex with him cause it’s most likely with “straight” guys. No one even knows if Zayn is actually gay or what. Nothing about him is in the open for the public to see.

 

 

In fact, the _only_ thing anyone knew for sure about Zayn, to this very day, was that he isn’t straight, and even _that_ was a huge assumption.

 

 

There’s this thing that happens when everyone assumes something and you don’t deny or confirm it. The open ended door leaves the question unanswered and a ghost of wonder haunting the threshold. Without Zayn’s confirmation, it’ll always just be a rumour. Never the actual truth. No matter how much it seems like he would be, you never see him in the action so you can never know for sure if he never actually says it.

 

No one’s ever seen Zayn with a boy aside from Liam but… no one’s ever seen him with a girl either aside from Perrie. There was his band but, they actually had a reason to be seen together all the time. He oozes sexuality but keeps the sexual acts themselves to between him and whoever he’s with. He doesn’t out people and he’s not really out himself either.

 

 

Even if it’s something as simple as kissing. Harry’s seen him shotgun smoke with boys and girls but that’s not really kissing. That’s just smoking very intimately.

 

 

What he does in private _stays_ in private. So trying to figure out why he stopped talking to Liam is almost impossible because Zayn leaves every question unanswered and stays distant from the general public.

 

 

Liam talked about how when Perrie was gone, it was the closest him and Zayn had ever been, and they’d been best friends since he was 10. He didn’t keep as many secrets from Liam anymore after Perrie left. Something just changed in Zayn 3 years ago, and he hasn’t been the same ever since. Like, when Perrie left, part of him left too and that part hasn’t been itself for a really long time after it came back.

 

 

Liam said before Perrie left, Zayn was totally normal and Niall actually agreed with that. Normal as in he wasn’t depressed at all and he didn’t sleep around at all either and he actually had a lot of friends from other schools he hung out with cause he just hated Wellington.

 

 

Harry can’t picture any of that either.

 

 

It’s contradictory to think that Zayn hates Wellington when he’s on the student council and shows that he actually really cares about this school and the people that go here. Maybe not the _socialites_ or jocks but, Harry knows he cares about the rest of Wellington.

 

 

He cares about the minorities. Not just the marginalised racial groups. All the marginalised groups that don’t get the same privilege cliques like the socialites and jocks get.

 

 

Even the honours society has it’s own elitist comforts only a few students have the privilege to be in. That one is just based off grades, regardless of social class. Impossibly high standard for grades though, which is why so few get in.

 

 

Those aren’t the students Zayn cares about.

 

 

He’s for the art students. Band nerds. Orchestra prodigy’s. Chess club. Choir. Graphic designers. Drama kids. Even the _cheerleaders_. People who were here on scholarships and not super wealthy who had talents were the minority, white, black, hispanic, Asian and all. These cliques aren’t formed from social status so they aren’t taken as seriously in Wellington.

 

 

They needed funding and proper attentiveness so they could prosper just like the rest of Wellington.

 

 

Zayn’s in charge of all the student activities committee. All of them except for the homecoming committee and the honours society. Those two are Kendall’s and Liam’s. Harry gets to manage all their relations with each other, basically deal with when club's clash with each other… which happens a lot. (Ex. Cheerleaders getting the field for practice vs. football, robotics using the same labs as woodshop, plays scheduled the same days as musical concerts, etc...)

 

 

Harry is the arbiter and liaison of the student council, settling disagreements with his final word. Or as everyone calls him, the father. Zayn is the SJW, or “social justice warrior” as the council mockingly puts it, known as the mother of the council. Harry and Zayn’s role in Wellington is making sure everyone is taken care of equally. Every club, committee and extracurricular activity. The rest of the members on the council all have their own jobs and roles and committees they’re primarily in charge of and they all come together to organise and discuss matters regarding the school as a whole.

 

 

Zayn’s been doing both for the last 6 months though. His email is open 24/7 and he gets back reasonably fast so, even if he doesn’t come to school for a week straight, he still takes care of business whenever he’s needed. He’s never once missed a council meeting. Even if they have to facetime or skype from some obscure location. He’s there when he needs to be. They haven’t had any serious internal issues within the school this year, thankfully but if they did, Zayn wouldn’t hesitate to do his job efficiently.

 

 

When Zayn cares about something, his passion for it pulls through full throttle.

 

 

Zayn is just really fucking hard to figure out for Harry when he’s not on the council because he’s like an entirely different person outside of school stuff.

 

 

Niall always hated Zayn partially for the way he treated Liam. _Partially_.

 

 

If you asked him for his honest opinion, Zayn was just a natural born attention-whore who thrived off of Liam’s attention until he got bored. But to Harry, it wasn’t like that. He was pretty convinced that Zayn had feelings for Liam too. And it’s not just an assumption this time.

 

 

Every other week on the student council, they get mail from other clubs for announcements of events they have to authorise and/or help organise or raise money for to fund or just approve of. In the 3 years they’ve been on the council, Zayn has always got flowers in his mail, always different but always unique and beautiful.

 

 

Harry never asked him about it at first because he just thought maybe Zayn had a secret admirer but after the pattern persisted, it didn’t take that much for Harry to figure out the admirer was probably Liam. It was so obvious.

 

 

Who else would do something so corny and still manage to make it look sweet and romantic? Platonically sending your best friend followers every week.

 

 

Yeah, that was definitely Liam.

 

 

Plus he’s worked at his mummy’s garden shop since he was 14 and he was more in love with Zayn and flowers then Harry thought was humanly possible. It couldn’t be anyone else.

 

 

It was confirmed for Harry that Liam was the one sending Zayn flowers all the time when he seen this gorgeous pink rose in a vase in Liam’s room one day then the next day, it was in Zayn’s mail.

 

 

If Harry could figure out it was from Liam, Zayn _definitely_ knew who they were coming from too and he always kept them, even after he stopped talking to Liam. Harry knows that’s why Zayn smells like that. He’s always carrying Liam’s flowers somewhere hidden on him and he thinks no one knows but, _Harry_ does.

 

 

The flowers Zayn got in the mail and the way they seemed to brighten his whole mood each time, even after all these years still, it was obvious to Harry they meant something to him which indirectly meant that Liam probably still did too. He knows they used to take trips to valley’s together with Liam’s mummy when they were kids and it’s probably some kind of inside, sentimental reference to that.

 

 

Harry’s never asked about the actual significance of it to Liam either. He doesn’t indicate to them that he’s aware of their little flower exchange thing. That was _their_ thing and he liked that they kept it still to just themselves, even if they didn’t talk much anymore.

 

 

But, it was still messed up on account of Zayn not even _looking_ at Liam if he was anywhere nearby. Even if he was right in his face. Nothing.

 

 

The big missing piece of the puzzle here was why the hell did Zayn suddenly despise seeing Liam after all those years of friendship? It didn’t make a bit of sense. It was like Zayn dumped him without telling him they were even dating, let alone give him a reason why.

 

 

It was the start of Zayn bad rep.

 

 

They went from platonic boyfriends to total strangers and Harry didn’t think Wellington could’ve lost something any more precious and pure than that, even more than that time last year when a diamond fell out of Eleanor’s backwards “E” necklace that dangles on her chest.

 

 

Harry and Liam talk for a while on the patio, mostly Liam going on incoherently about how much he misses “making art” with Zayn that Harry can’t follow what the hell he’s even saying until they’re both on the brink of passing out again.

 

 

Liam dozes off in the middle of a sentence so Harry pulls him over to one of the comfy lawn chairs before heading inside to find Niall and Tom. They were his only means of transportation right now and he would prefer to get home to his bed rather than risk passing out in another bathroom that’s probably being befouled right now with a Stan and Jade lookalike.

 

 

He wasn’t too keen at the idea of walking the streets of London, drunk and alone at 2 in the morning. Unless you were looking to get mugged. Even on this side of town, being out in the wrong place, alone, was like putting a target on your back. This was where all the goods were so, crooks were attracted to it too.

 

 

He finds Niall curled up on the couch cuddling Tom underneath him, out cold.

 

 

He was not at all into the idea of staying at Kendall’s place over night so, he leaves Niall and Tom alone, deciding that maybe walking home isn’t actually as dangerous as he originally thought. As if summoned by his thoughts, Kendall herself materialises at the front door just as he’s leaving, the first time he’s actually seen her in months in close proximity.

 

 

She’s just as gorgeous as ever, of course and Harry doesn’t know what to say. She gives him a sweet, brilliantly white smile.

 

 

“Long time no see, stranger.” She teases.

 

 

Harry actually didn’t miss hearing her voice as much as he thought he did.

 

 

Her long flowing dark hair is pulled back, swept away from her face, pulled back into a ponytail showing off the model-perfect bone structure of her flawless face, cherry red lips inviting Harry to smile too.

 

 

He tries his best to give her a friendly smile of his own but, it feels forced and dishonest, like that strange laugh he let out earlier that didn’t belong to him. He can only imagine what he looks like in front of her right now. Kendall laughs a little but it somehow sounds as empty as Harry feels.

 

 

“You look a little fucked up.” she says. That sounded about right to Harry. He clears his throat so he can muster up words.

 

 

“I am a little fucked up, aren’t I?” He says honestly.

 

 

That could be taken in more than one way.

 

 

His hangover was sure to wake him up at the buttcrack of dawn. It occurs to him as he notices Kendall all dressed up in her outerwear, fur coat and leather jeans. He realises that he hadn’t seen her here all night which was strange considering this was her house party.

 

 

“Where were you? You missed the whole thing, although I couldn’t tell you what happened for most of it.” Harry half-jokes, scratching his head. Talking was even exhausting right now. Kendall raises her eyebrows.

 

 

“I’m sure pictures will surface online by Monday. I had some errands to run, I honestly forgot about the whole thing. Thomas, Charlotte and Eleanor usually run things pretty well on their own.”

 

 

He always hated how she called her posse by their full names like that. Like she has to sound fancy and be elaborate with even the simplicity of what she calls her friends.

 

 

Harry just nods, supposing that would probably make sense if the room wasn’t spinning right now.

 

 

Speaking of Tommy…

 

 

“Tom’s currently buried under Niall,”

 

 

Her nose scrunches up into a frown at the mention of Niall. She’s always hated him.

 

 

Harry continues.

 

 

“And they’re kind of my only ride but, I’m not gonna bother them.”

 

 

“Oh. Umm-” Before she can even finish what she’s saying, Calvin stumbles in the door from behind her, completely off his ass, almost falling against her and nearly knocking them both down.

 

 

They’re both dressed like they’re been out clubbing all night which Harry finds even more _bizarre_ that she’d skip her own party for another somewhere else, leaving a bunch of people off to do their own bidding in her house.

 

 

He didn’t realise how much she trusted her friends with her whole house.

 

“Whoa there babe-” She gasps, slinging his arm over her shoulder to keep him on his feet. “Let’s try to walk the right way.”

 

They make their way all the way inside and Harry kind of awkwardly moves out of the way so he’s not blocking the path. He would help, as she is struggling to keep his legs from caving but, Harry’s not in any better state of being at the moment.

 

 

He’d probably get more in the way than actually help. Plus, he doesn’t fancy the idea of helping out the guy his ex-girlfriend (that he is kinda still hung up over) was rumoured to be sleeping with.

 

 

“Well, it was… good seeing you again.” Harry says behind them right as he makes his exit. But Kendall stops him

 

 

“Where do you think you’re going?” She says, frowning at him, pulling loose the small scarf tied around her neck like a choker.

 

 

Harry squints and motions his hand in the general direction of his house.

 

 

“Home?” He hiccups.

 

 

Or maybe a ditch. Anywhere he can find a place to sleep really. Kendall rolls her eyes at him.

 

 

“There’s no way in hell you’re leaving this house like this. You’re staying here for the night.” She declares.

 

 

Harry wants to tell her that they’re not together so she can’t boss him around anymore but, the words get jumbled around in his head so he doesn’t even bother. Besides, she was being pretty nice to him to him right now so he wasn’t gonna start an argument. Harry sluggishly comes back inside, intent on finding a couch to crash on until Kendall says,

 

 

 _“My room,”_ as she cleans what is probably vomit off of Calvin’s jeans.

 

 

Harry doesn’t question her.

 

 

He heads right up the stairs and straight to her room, stepping over a couple of people who’ve taken to the stairs for the night. Upon entering her extravagant room, old feelings try to push out of him.

 

 

Old feelings he’s had locked away for a long time. He could never distinguish what this feeling actually is. He’d never thought he would ever be in here again. Kendall’s room wasn’t as showy as the rest of the house. It was big, sure but there wasn’t much to it but a bed and a wardrobe.

 

 

The vacancy of life here was more obvious than the rest of the place. He could never shake the empty feeling of Kendall’s house, especially in her room but, none of that mattered at the moment. He realises how _exhausted_ he really is.

 

 

As soon as he falls onto her queen sized bed he’s gone, fully clothed and on top of the covers, only to dream about being in that familiar cold empty room, vibrating to the beat of his aching heart. Maybe this empty room was so empty cause this is where his heart was supposed to be and it’s actually missing.

 

 

This party sucked.

 

 

 

*

 

 

**Niall and Harry pov**

 

 

**_Early Sunday Morning_ **

 

 

Hangovers were mean nasty little things. They knocked you round the head and refused to be ignored, bothering you incessantly to remind you of the terrible decisions you made the night before so you could regret everything.

 

 

Niall hated them with a passion, except he rarely got them. But Harry did and Niall hated it with a passion, because there was Harry, nudging him awake at an unholy hour of the morning. Harry shared his hangover with Niall, dragging him down with him.

 

 

“Ni… Niall please get up.” Harry pleads. Niall croaks out a wet cough and squints at Harry, leaning over him with desperation and panic all over his face.

 

 

“What time’s it?” He rasps, sleep making his voice rumble deep from within.

 

 

“I don’t know. The sun’s not up yet.” Harry hisses, trying to keep his voice low. Niall burrows into the warm body next to him that smells like Tom.

 

 

 _“Piss off.”_ He whines, turning his back to Harry, who is running out of patience.

 

 

“Niall get off your ass and tell your boyfriend to take us home!” he whisper-shouts. Niall looks back at him with a grimace.

 

 

“My _what?”_ He grumbles.

 

 

Of course that was all he heard.

 

 

Harry sighs. He didn’t want to have to do this but he needs them to get up. Now. He rounds the couch and lifts it slightly off the ground from behind, tipping it over so everything on it crashes ungracefully to the floor. He winces when he realizes that Melissa was on the other end of the couch but she only stirs a little, remaining unconscious.

 

 

Harry picks up her jacket, some high-priced chanel burgundy bomber and drapes it back over her after he puts her back on the couch.

 

 

Tom and Niall on the other hand are very much awake now and pissed when they realise what Harry did.

 

 

“I’m sorry. I _truly_ am but we have to leave.” He says, throwing Tom’s keys to his chest.

 

 

He didn’t wait to hear their protestations, going outside and hopping in Tom’s escalade, which _reeks_ of sex.

 

 

Niall would go back to sleep now that Harry is gone but, he doesn’t. There was something about the way he looked at him, the sound of his voice that let Niall know there was something seriously wrong and Niall just couldn’t dismiss it. He couldn’t dismiss Harry even if he wanted to.

 

 

When his mood was off, so was Niall’s, forever being the cursed empath. So he and Tom trudge out of the house, miserably and climb into the car.

 

 

The ride home is silent.

 

 

Harry doesn’t look up from the window, ignoring the worried glances Niall keeps giving him from the front. Harry couldn’t really think about anything else but the giant blank spot in his memory and then where he woke up this morning.

 

 

He sincerely, _desperately_ hoped that what he thought happened last night _didn’t_. But, like everything else he was sure of in his life, he was probably wrong.

 

 

 

*

 

 

**Harry and Niall pov**

 

 

**_Sunday evening_ **

 

 

 

He didn’t say anything at all for the rest of that Sunday evening. He and Niall didn’t study like they promised either. He was just so far away. He was _scaring_ Niall and his family. He wasn’t talking and they didn’t want to push it.

 

 

Niall and Harry slept in Harry’s bed until noon as he still had a nasty hangover then watched netflix horror films on his wall TV until it was time for dinner.

 

 

It would’ve been a very relaxing lazy Sunday if Harry wasn’t so far gone. It was just like when Kendall ended it with him. Niall knew something happened at the party but he couldn’t think of anything he’d saw that was out of the ordinary.

 

 

Well, except for Zayn and Liam but, that was a completely unrelated anomaly.

 

 

Since Niall didn’t drink or do drugs normally, he was probably the only person at that party who remembers every last drop of the night even though he was really high. His reputation might be foul but, that was the work of smoke and mirrors. He didn’t drink or smoke or have tattoos and he studied like a good student and attended class more often than what anyone would assume. He tried things and sometimes he took adderall for tests but… it was for a good cause at least. He didn’t partake as often as most.

 

 

All he knew was Harry was stressing over his grades before the party but he made no moves to pick up a single text book now. When he’d offered to chill with Harry all day, he was relieved when Harry said yes.

 

 

Actually, it was more like Harry didn’t object when Niall came in the house with him and helped himself to Harry’s bed.

 

 

Nonetheless, Harry wasn’t shutting him out and isolating himself. He knew Harry hated being alone so, even if he wasn’t ready to talk about it, at least he knew he had a friend there still anyways. He didn’t pop any pills or say one word all day.

 

 

When dinner time rolled around, Niall still stayed when Harry’s parents called them down. It was just Niall, Anne, Robin and Harry.

 

 

His sister Gemma was out with friends, which was probably perfect that way. If Gemma saw Harry right now, she wouldn’t wait until he was ready to talk. She’d force it out of him and that wasn’t the best method of handling things sometimes.

 

 

Niall was a welcome distraction from Harry’s worrying behaviour.

 

 

He kept conversation with Harry parents easy, making them sick with laughter. It put everyone at ease, including Harry. It was nearly impossible to stay upset about anything around Niall for most people, whether you were upset with him or just in general. He had such a bouncy personality.

 

 

They’d been best mates for 3 years now, and in that short time Niall had become more attuned to Harry than his own family sometimes. He could easily tell when Harry was sad or stressed or uncomfortable. He could tell when Harry had too much on his mind. Harry didn’t know when or how that happened. He didn’t get why when it came to other people Niall’s known way longer than Harry, like Tom or even Melissa for example, Niall seemed totally oblivious to their feelings.

 

 

He wasn’t sure if that was a testament to how deep their friendship went or if Niall was always hyper-aware of everyone around him but chose not to deal with certain one’s. That would mean he was a dick on purpose though, and that was way worse than the first notion.

 

 

Harry sighs at this thought.

 

 

The rest of the dinner table must take that as him ready to finally say something because everyone gets very quiet suddenly. He looks up to see their anxious eyes watching him closely. He briefly shakes out his curls a few times then runs his hand through, a nervous habit as he notices he’s barely ate any of his food while Niall was on his second helping. But then again, that wasn’t a fair comparison. Nial could eat them into the poor house.

 

 

He closes his eyes as he decided he is ready to talk. And if he isn’t, then he’s still going to anyways.

 

 

“I… uh,” He starts looking for words but now that he has their full attention, they hide from him.

 

 

He closes his eyes for a moment before looking at Niall now.

 

 

“Last night, when we got to the party, what time was it?” He asks. Niall thinks back.

 

 

“Um, about half past 10.” He concludes after thought.

 

 

“Why?”

 

 

“Harry what’s wrong?” His mother urges now.

 

 

Harry nods then,

 

 

“Well, when I went inside, I think I started drinking with Liam and…” His brows furrow as he trails off, trying to think about what he’s saying.

 

 

“I can’t remember anything of what happened after.”

 

 

Niall frowns.

 

 

“You don’t remember me dragging you out of the toilet and sm--” Niall cuts himself off after almost revealing that they’d been smoking very illegal drugs. They can get away with drinking at a party because that was expected but… not that.

 

 

“You’d been _what,_ Niall?” Robin asks, eerily calm.

 

 

“Laughing and watching folks in the hallway,” He supplies quickly, which was entirely true. Anne looks back at Harry.

 

 

“You don’t remember that darling? Is that what’s bothering you?” She asks gently.

 

 

Harry shakes his head.

 

 

“No, I think I blacked out?” He guesses, like he’s asking them to confirm this for him but they all look just as confused and Harry knows he’s not making any sense for what’s wrong.

 

 

“Well, what do you remember?” Niall prompts for him.

 

 

“This morning. I woke up next to… _Kendall…._ naked, and--”

 

 

“Oh my God!” Niall gasps sharply.

 

 

_“Did you use a condom?”_

 

 

 _“Niall!”_ Harry hisses at him.

 

 

He doesn’t mind talking about this with his parents. They were always very about talking about safe sex and they never made it something to be embarrassed of.

 

 

But this wasn’t safe sex. This was a drunken night he couldn’t remember with _Kendall._

 

 

Harry couldn’t remember fuck-all of what happened after he had drinks with Liam. It was all black. All he knew was, he woke up, stark naked, under Kendall’s sheets next to her. But she was all the way on the other side of her massive bed. There could’ve fit at least 3 whole people bewteen them.

 

 

He didn’t even _try_ to see if she had clothes on. He woke up terrified and confused, too scared to do anything but yank on clothes, find Niall and get the hell out of there. He explains all this to them and the harrowing cloud covering Harry’s memories is now hovering over everyone else.

 

 

If this was just about Kendall in general, things would be different. But this might be way more than Kendall and Harry’s relationship right now.

 

 

It’s about the aftermath of possible _relations._ Unprotected aftermath that no one can help Harry out of, memory or not. It only takes one slip up.

 

 

The hard thing about having a girl is, once they hit puberty, you have to worry about _a bunch of_ dicks befouling her. But Gemma wasn’t into boys so Anne never had to worry about her getting herself pregnant when she went out.

 

 

When you have a boy, you only have _one_ dick to worry about getting someone pregnant. And it only takes one time. She always hoped they’d never come to a time like this, because if Harry did something stupid while he was drunk, then his half of his fate is already sealed on his part. The only one stopping his life being over with the other half of his fate right now… was Kendall’s part in this.

 

 

Harry tells them he doesn’t even know if they even slept together since he obviously blacked out for over 6 hours. If they _did,_ then there was most likely no condom because Harry didn’t have any and he didn’t see any lying around.

 

 

Niall says he didn’t see Kendall anywhere at all during the party and that Harry seemed totally fine which doesn’t assure him of _anything_ because it doesn’t change where the fuck he _woke up_ this morning.

 

 

Harry’s parents take him to the doctor’s office almost immediately after dinner for a quick check-up.

 

 

He was nervous to get his vitals checked. He wasn’t sure if anything in his system now would indicate that he was very high last night - as Niall told him he may or may not have shared a joint that was rolled with a little more than just weed. All the nurse indicates is that she knows he takes anti-depressants. Harry doesn’t have to indicate to her why he was on other medication recently because other than that, he’s perfectly fine.

 

 

She explains to them that blacking out for a few hours or days is perfectly normal when high amounts of alcohol are consumed very quickly. He remembers chugging a few glasses of absinthe within the first half hour of arrival.

 

 

When he asks her if it’s possible to ever get the memories back, she gives Harry a mischievous smile that makes her blue eyes crinkle at the corners, beckoning for him to come closer like she’s telling him a secret.

 

 

For some reason, as Harry looks into her smiling eyes, he can tell she’s not from here. Her eyes are _warm_ instead of cold and her smile is _real_ , not plastered on through botox. But it’s not just the surface look of her. That warmness inside her is genuine happiness and Harry just knows she’s not from here. The outside world radiates off her.

 

 

“I’ve heard of bits and pieces of lost blackout memories coming back but, only when they drink again.”

 

 

Harry pulls back in surprise at that kind of suggestion coming from a _doctor._

 

 

“Are you saying--”

 

 

“I’m saying no more heavy drinking Mr. Styles. I have a 16 year old boy of my own, I know the drill.” She says with a wink that makes Harry smile.

 

 

A _real_ smile, just like hers like she’s sharing her warmth with Harry.

 

 

“I’m 17, miss.” He tells her.

 

 

“So was I. Not too long ago. He’ll be 17 in a few months.”

 

 

After she manages to make Harry laugh with her jokes, he decides that Jay was a really cool nurse and he’s actually glad he came to this clinic she tells him she just opened privately a few weeks ago.

 

 

_Tomlinson Estate._

 

 

He was right, she just moved here with her family, which he finds a picture of hanging in her office, a bunch of blonde little girls in 2 sets of twins and one little brunette, a blue eyed boy cheesing wide in the sea of his sisters in front of their parents, looking like they’re on some kind of African safari. There’s another with just a very pregnant Jay and her little boy, riding on an elephant together and Harry’s eyes linger on that one as he frowns a little.

 

 

Her son, _Louis,_ she tells him, has an oxygen tank hooked up to him in this one that Jay is holding behind him, indicating that he might have serious health issues. But he’s still smiling wide despite the hose sticking in his nostrils. Harry smiles a little at how happy they seem despite the misfortune.

 

 

When she sees him looking at it, she tells him Louis has tachycardia, a heart condition that causes palpitations, when your heart beats too fast and flutters in your chest, sometimes faster than what it’s able to relay oxygen to the brain so you get lightheaded and dizzy. Sometimes he even _passes out_ because of it. He used to need extra assistance to keep up with how fast it beats constantly but has since gotten rid of the tank even though his heartbeat is still abnormally fast, like a bird.

 

 

Jay looks exactly the same in this picture even though it’s probably about 5 or 6 years old since this kid is almost 17 right now.

 

 

They have the same exact eyes. In front of him now, that life and light in her eyes from the picture hasn’t been drained yet so she looks like a foreigner in Wellington.

 

 

She tells his parents that he shouldn’t mix alcohol with the medication he’s already taking and he should definitely make these check-ups and regular thing every few months. They all give him warning eyes with the bit about drinking but his nurse gives him a warm smile, a silent nod to what she told him about knowing that teenagers drink at parties and to just lay off the _hard_ liquor.

 

 

Harry really liked her smile too.

 

 

As for his _blood_ test results in case he had unprotected sex, he won’t get those straight away.

 

 

She gives him a lolli, which he gladly accepted, surprising him when she gives him a motherly peck on the forehead over his curly fringe before seeing him out of her office.

 

 

On the way home, he somehow felt worlds away from this morning. His bomb was still there, but it wasn't ticking anymore.

 

 

He felt… content for the first time in a while. It was strange how he suddenly didn’t have a worry in the world. Like that little dose of happiness in the Tomlinson abode rubbed off on him and got stuck in his curls, falling over him like leaves off a tree he’s carrying on his shoulders, light instead of the heavy weight he usually feels.

 

 

Maybe it was the weather. The breeze was nice today.

 

 

He goes home and puts on some soft music, [ Thundercat ](https://www.instagram.com/p/BS4Oqfdgo-M/?taken-by=willowsmith&hl=en) echoing in his room as he gets ready for bed.

 

 

He combs his hair and brushes his teeth.

 

 

He felt weird. It was a strangely unfamiliar feeling to not tick, like when your heart skips a beat. He hadn't taken any pills or found himself mentally exhausted today.

 

 

The monotony that was his life has been for the last 3 years has been disrupted by something. Even though he does his normal routine still, the circles he always finds himself going in actually don’t feel so dizzy and nauseating.

 

 

He still feels weird after pondering that but… he likes that change. It felt lighter.

 

 

As he looks his reflection while brushing his teeth, a thought occurs to him. He thinks he left his wallet at Kendall’s house.

 

 

He goes straight to bed with the content thought of not being on any drowsy pills today.

 

 

The tumultuous weekend was finally winding down.

 

 

As he’s dozing off, he gets a text from Kendall telling him he left his wallet at her place. He types out a message to text her back, saying he’ll get it tomorrow at school. When he stares at the simple message for a very long time, his mind registers absolutely nothing.

 

 

Before he can send or delete it, Niall calls.

 

 

When Harry tells Niall about everything, it seemed as though Niall was more freaked out about the entire ordeal than Harry was. Niall actually had trouble falling asleep that night because of it.

 

 

Deep down, he knew that Harry definitely fucked Kendall without a condom and if she turned up pregnant… his life would be over.

 

 

He’s not worried about Kendall keeping it. She was at a very high raise in her career as a model and there were more abortions thrown around in Wellington than there would be if there were a drive through window at Planned Parenthood.

 

 

It was just the fact that they still slept together and she was gonna ruin Harry’s life all over again when they try to talk about it.

 

 

Niall’s opinion of Harry and Kendall was a simple one: Kendall didn’t like Harry.

 

 

She liked saying she had a boyfriend who was on the “soccer” team. Harry never seemed to figure out that Kendall just didn’t take them as seriously as he did. He wouldn’t understand casual sex and he never got closure and this was gonna ruin him all over again.

 

 

Niall felt a little guilty about hoping Harry’s memory stays dead so he won’t feel like rekindling whatever happened between them because the entire thing would just be completely fucked up.

 

 

He falls asleep with the deep regret of forcing Harry to go to that stupid party. The circus was gonna be in town tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next will be a recount of Monday again as everyone feels the aftermath of the weekend, just seen from everyone's perspective instead of Louis' although he will be seen in the background all throughout the school the next chapter, this time you'll get everyone's first impression of HIM instead.
> 
> So I have many pov's like this so you can see everything from everyone's point of view that makes a bigger picture by the end the more pieces come together. All the student body together make-up Wellington but, the school is divided inside. You'll get jocks point of view, art students, socialites etc. because they all experience the same school day in different ways and the next chapter will be how everyone experienced Louis' first day Monday from the other side of the mirror. Since there's so much gossip, not everyone's perspective is 100% honest. Like Niall's, who is a liar and represents the school's unreliable narrative.


	5. iv. Who is he?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monday is a fun day as the weekend bleeds into the present. A new kid leaves Wellington curious of something obscure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super random little fun fact: Melissa Steel tweeted me a few days ago (LOL) about new music. To anyone who doesn't know who that is, she's an R&B/reggae artist that went to school with Zayn in real life back in Bradford and they used to share music with each other. My Zayn leaving the band reference isn't a reference to 1D (I wrote those part in Jan. 2015 before that even happened coincidentally enough) it's a reference to Melissa Steel in real life :)

 

 

 

 

**Literally everyone’s pov but Louis’**

 

 

**_Monday (again)_ **

 

 

 

Everyone was in agreement that Monday had been a bit hectic.

 

 

The celebratory weekend still had everyone a little buzzed as if they were all still drunk, even more evident when everyone on campus watches Tom Harlock nearly hit a kid in the street.

 

 

There was already a homecoming committee meeting scheduled tomorrow morning, second period on the cafe lawn to start planning the next party weekend, a pool party at Leigh-Anne’s place while the weather was still warm.

 

 

Harry didn’t even have to forget the whole thing. His brain took care of for him on it’s own and he was pretty relaxed. Even in the wait for getting his test results back, he actually wasn’t fretting about a damn thing today.

 

 

The nice leaves were still on his shoulders when he woke up this morning.

 

 

He didn’t even care about avoiding Kendall anymore. But Niall avoided Tom for his own stupid reasoning, joining Harry in watching cheer practice until their first class instead of going with Tom as they walk with Melissa and Harry’s pregnant friend Lou to cheer practice.

 

 

Across the street in the parking lot, Zayn helps Perrie out of his truck, holding her hand and they walk towards the school, their legs in synch in their stride, her old Chuck Taylors mismatched with Zayn’s brand new Doc Martens but for them, the match was perfect.

 

 

She never asks Zayn where he gets the money to afford stuff like that cause it’s not really polite or any of her business but, she does wonder what goes on in the land of Zayn when she’s not with him. She knows he doesn’t have a job. It’s as if he has this double life he keeps hidden from her. He acts like someone else during the day but Zayn at night was a mystery to even Perrie in this era of their lives.

 

 

Almost every other weekend for the last year, he completely falls off the radar, sometimes even for a full week. Perrie used to assume it was because of his band but, he still disappears just the same without them now.

 

 

But this weekend was different than usual. He actually came to school on time instead of 4 hours late.

 

 

Personally, Perrie thinks Zayn might be seeing someone that doesn’t go to their school. Someone older, like a sugar daddy or something that he lives with in the city cause he doesn’t come home for days either whenever he leaves and he always comes back _exhausted_ and covered in bruises that he can’t hide because of his anemia. So she knows he’s not _sleeping_ wherever he goes off to. Not the kind of sleeping that features dreams anyways.

 

 

She can see his place from her room so she knows when he’s here and when he’s out.

 

 

Zayn’s truck disappears with him. The longest she’s ever known him to be gone for was 11 days in a row. Not even his twin sister, Doniya knows where Zayn goes whenever Perrie’s asked her. They’re both very nosy sisters. His mother doesn’t bother him about it since he always comes home alive.

 

 

Zayn’s old enough to be responsible for himself but still… Perrie left a colourful little 15 year old individual and came back to an independent young man and it was… a little off-putting.

 

 

She just wishes he’d talk to her again like he used to.

 

 

Doniya even agreed with Perrie. She thinks he might have a sugar daddy too.

 

 

There’s no other way to explain where the hell he gets money from to buy designer clothes worth thousands.

 

 

It didn’t used to be like that before she left. The secrecy.

 

 

She left Wellington knowing everything there is to know about Zayn and came back home a year later to a new person she didn’t know much about anymore.

 

 

“So what did _you_ do this weekend that you’re finally coming to school now? Finish your secret project or did you finish _on_ your secret lover?” Perrie asks him as he lights the cigarette dangling from his lips.

 

 

When he takes a drag, he shakes his head when he sees Niall and Harry walk by with Melissa and Lou, Melissa rolling her eyes at whatever Niall is saying, his bomber draped over her arms that he left.

 

 

_Thank God she got it._

 

 

 _“Fucking leprechaun…”_ He mutters as he exhales smoke, french style as he inhales it all again through his nose from his mouth.

 

 

“Sorry?” Perrie quips beside him, removing his cigarette and bringing it to her own mouth between her fingers with her brows raised, waiting. Zayn smiles as he looks at her now as she blows smoke from the side of her mouth.

 

 

“I said _‘I was fucking a leprechaun’_. This weekend? My boyfriend is Irish, didn’t you know that? He gave me all his gold.” He chirps with a cheesy grin, taking the cancer stick back and throwing it out.

 

 

“Don’t smoke these, Pez. It’ll ruin your appetite. Smoke weed.”

 

 

Perrie rolls her eyes forward, scoffing at his sarcasm and disregarding his concern with her eating habits.

 

 

“Thought you didn’t like Irishmen?”

 

 

“I don’t.” Zayn sighs.

 

 

“So even though you’ve admitted to your tall tales with your Irish lover, you’re really not gonna tell me why you totally blew me off this weekend?” She asks now, even though she already knew why as she eyes the bruises on the side of Zayn’s neck that he failed to cover with probably Doniya’s makeup that’s too fair and doesn’t match his complexion. They at least look faint now, which means it’s pretty ugly under there.

 

 

They were supposed to have a movie marathon weekend after Zayn helped her with her hair Friday. But Zayn’s eyes are far away as he looks towards the main road where a boy with bright red trousers is staring at their school like a little kid on his first day.

 

 

“Who the fuck is that?” He asks Perrie, who looks over as well with a shrug.

 

 

“I… don’t know…”

 

 

They both pause in their stride and tilt their heads sideways at the same time, like siamese twins as they stare at him from across the street.

 

 

Neither of them have ever seen him before.

 

 

“He looks lost.” Zayn snorts, smiling a little in confusion at his look of wonder. He’s looking at Wellington like he’s seeing a firework show… until he blindly walks out onto the main road.

 

 

 _“Oh my God!”_ Zayn gasps when Tom’s Escalade, full of 3 crazy girls, nearly hits him after he whips around the corner.

 

 

They both watch the strange boy dive into the ground, shaking their heads together as they look away and head inside now.

 

 

“Drunkards.” Perrie mutters.

 

 

“Poor things gonna die.” Zayn tsks.

 

 

Perrie laughs, nodding in agreement as they go, hand in hand.

 

 

“So how was your weekend, darling? _Love_ the hair.” Zayn veers off talking about his weekend to focus more on Perrie as she goes on to rave about dying her hair pink, Friday while Zayn tosses her locks over her shoulder, making her smile.

 

 

Outside behind the school, Harry and Niall are sitting in the bleachers after dropping off their stuck in their lockers. Harry hunched forward on his knees and Niall leaning back on his elbows so his wrists dangle on either side of him, both of them smiling as they admired the cheerleaders practicing on the field.

 

 

Niall’s especially enjoying himself, getting a real kick out of every time Melissa got too distracted with glaring at him, making her mess up their pyramid. Even _more_ of a kick when he’d shout something vulgar at her.

 

 

Harry made sure to punch him each time he catcalled.

 

 

“Bend over this way!” Niall shouts through his hands with a smile and Harry punches him again.

 

 

“ _Fuck Haz, STOP!”_ He cries when he receives another blow in the same spot so many times in his arm, even a thump would throb painfully.

 

 

 _“Fuck Nialler,”_ Harry mocks his whining.

 

 

“Stop being such a _twat_. It’s disrespectful.”

 

 

Niall grins, eyes trained on Melissa’s behind.

 

 

“C’mon, you know she secretly loves it. Those cheerleaders are _in love_ with being watched. That’s the whole point in even doing it. You think they make those outfits like that on accident?”

 

 

“Yeah, I’m so sure they’re just bathing in your fucking attention. They probably feel like stars when you tell them how tight their asses look.” Harry says sarcastically with a scowl.

 

 

He didn’t really buy into gossip but sometimes, he wonders if they weren’t really rumours and that talk was right. Maybe Niall really was the ultimate fuck-boy.

 

 

Niall turns to Harry with a pout.

 

 

“Dude, I’m just _kiddin’_. Lighten up.”

 

 

“Yeah, no one’s laughing.” Harry shakes his head, leaning down on his elbows.

 

 

Unlike Niall who only gawks to see their skirts ride up, Harry actually admired the athleticism of it. Hoisting each other up and doing triple backflips and handsprings, gracefully tossing each other up into the sky, posing mid-air before reforming their stances… it was amazing. Harry could hardly even stand still without tripping over. He wasn’t the best at football as it is.

 

 

Cheerleading was definitely in a league of it’s own. They had competitions they went too outside of school. He supported them getting treated almost as equal as the football team, just as much as Zayn did. They’re uniforms may not be as expensive but they managed to get equal time to practice on the field like they are right now. Harry and Zayn were petitioning for them to get a new field so they wouldn’t have this problem anymore. There’s plenty of empty space out here.

 

 

Right now, they got the field in the mornings, jocks got evenings.

 

 

He smiles absently as he watches, appreciating how much effort went into it. Not only was cheerleading a sport. It was _art_ in Harry’s eyes. If Niall didn’t respect that… well, Harry didn’t think Niall liked girls very much anyways.

 

 

He could feel Niall’s gaze on him from his side. When he looks over at him, Niall is frowning.

 

 

“What?”

 

 

“You don’t really think that do you Haz?”

 

 

Niall’s voice was suddenly so small, Harry’s momentarily taken aback by how genuinely sad he looked. Harry’s expression saddens too.

 

 

“Think what?”

 

 

Niall gives a flash of confused brows for a split second then shakes his head, seemingly resigning.

 

 

“Nothin’.” He deadpans. Harry rolls his eyes, looking at the cheerleaders again.

 

 

“I think you just get so _lost_ in your head sometimes that you don’t even realise you’re thinking _outloud_.”

 

 

Harry’s eyes dart over to him briefly, a deep frown on Niall’s face as he stares at the beach now and Harry realises he might have actually said that last part out loud. He didn’t mean that Niall had no respect for women but, out of context that’s how it sounds.

 

 

He’s not gonna apologise though. It’s not like that context is any more wrong either.

 

 

Niall watches the beach now, past the cheerleaders as he finally leaves them alone while Harry watches them, sitting in silence after that. It’s not awkward or uncomfortable. Some silence is just _silence_. Nothing else needed to be said. They had the kind of friendship where they were both content with swimming around in their heads without having to spend their time filling silence with words. Harry’s just a bit more relaxed than usual while Niall is a little tense. It was usually the other way around.

 

 

Niall’s been tense all morning.

 

 

“So why are you avoiding Tom?” Harry says after while when he sees Niall start texting on his phone.

 

 

“I’m not.” He says, curt. Harry snorts, shaking his head a little which ticks Niall off.

 

 

“I’m NOT!” Niall looks up now, showing Harry his phone so he sees that Niall is actually trying to get in touch with Tom right now, about 10 messages on Niall’s end asking Tom where the fuck he is, left on read.

 

 

“ _He’s_ avoiding _me_.” Niall grumbles, throwing his phone in his bag.

 

 

Harry can see where Niall’s over-hyped attitude is actually coming from now.

 

 

Tom is angry at him for something and ignoring him because of it and Niall _hates_ when Tom doesn’t talk to him.

 

 

He can handle him screaming at him and arguing but Niall Horan will not be ignored and treated like he doesn’t exist. A side-effect to being a star athlete. Not getting the attention he thinks he has a right to will lead to a meltdown inside him, especially when it’s coming from the person he needs it from the most.

 

 

“Maybe he’s ignoring you because you’re out here harassing cheerleaders, which I, frankly, don’t want to see either. Or maybe he’s just ignoring you after you were ignoring him all day yesterday?”

 

 

 _“Actually,”_ Niall’s voice raises as he looks at Harry.

 

 

“I was dealing with _your shit_ all day yesterday so why don’t you stop accusing me of _nonsense_ and worry more about why _you’re_ avoiding _Kenny_.” Niall picks up his bag and leaves sourly, marching away from the bleachers back into school.

 

 

Harry isn’t even phased by it right now. He’ll go after him later.

 

 

He’s got more things on his mind than Niall and Tom though. He didn’t mean to back him into a corner but honestly… Niall is just digging himself into a very dark hole every single day. Harry felt bad for him, not knowing how to deal with his own confusion.

 

 

But Harry was actually thinking about Zayn right now as he watches Melissa, leading her squad. He saw her put that jacket she had in a bag that’s currently sitting in Zayn’s mailbox. How she got it there without being seen? Harry doesn’t even know but he saw it when he checked his own empty mailbox.

 

 

He asked her about what Niall was telling them about Zayn and Liam on their way to school and she said he was lying straight out of his ass.

 

 

According to her, Zayn wasn’t even at the party but Harry got the feeling _she_ was the one that was lying. He doesn’t know how but, he just knows she was lying about Zayn being there, more than just the jacket thing.

 

 

His memory has been wavering all day but he keeps getting the feeling that he saw Zayn there at some point, although he’s not sure where at all.

 

 

He’d already been wondering about Zayn and Liam and what the hell went down at the party besides his own blackout. First, he needed to find out if what Niall claims happened _actually_ happened… which was Zayn being there at all and Liam jerkin’ it for him.

 

 

Then, he needed to find out _why._ He was planning on confronting Zayn himself instead of asking Lissa. Because if he told Melissa to tell people he wasn’t there - which Zayn has actually done before as Melissa always covers for him, well Harry’s needs to know why Liam should be concerned. Because Liam is his best friend and he knows that’s who it’s about.

 

 

Liam woke up with an angry hang-over and absolutely no memory of Saturday just like Harry but, his Sunday evening wasn’t as relaxed as Harry’s. He woke up to a bomb in his mailbox at home that has set flames to the rest of his week: An envelope informing him that his scholarship for next year might be in jeopardy. Cause a new kid was in town and that one chair for Valedictorian could be his this year instead of _Liam’s_ . And his mother was _pissed._

 

 

Liam inherited his temper from both his parents. Unfortunately, they weren’t both easy going and laid-back. Normally, he’s as even tempered as a sunflower and very traditional. He was rarely ever rude to anyone cause he’s got a kind soul. The soft and gentle, kind that would take care of you. But when he was _angry…_ he was like a bull. He used to see a therapist for his anger issues because he’d actually _black out_ when he was younger. He never threw temper-tantrums or anything like that but once at a football game a little over 4 years ago, something darker than a tantrum got triggered in him when a fight broke out. It resulted in Liam being kicked off the team and almost expelled as they discovered he has _major_ anger issues that caused him to black out when his fuse burnt out.

 

 

Harry wasn’t here when that happened but legend has it, that’s where Liam’s nickname “Payno” came from.

 

 

He almost killed someone with his bare fists.

 

 

Liam’s reputation? He’s a _darling_ . But DON’T. Piss. Him. _Off_.

 

 

Now, this wouldn’t be a problem any other time if this was just about money or getting into a good school. Liam doesn’t need a scholarship to get into Columbia nor is that the only university that exists. This specific program was a once in a lifetime thing. It would just put him right at the cusp of Wall Street, the U.N., and other epicenters of finance, politics, and culture. But the bomb in his mailbox has informed him that there might be an incoming student in Wellington that’s scores were _outranking Liam_ , so he won’t qualify for that scholarship or program anymore if he’s not Valedictorian.

 

 

The notion of someone stealing his spot was never even a thought. It simply didn’t exist. His score was only off by one point. Which means this person’s scores had to be _perfect._

 

 

Liam spends _his_ entire Monday complaining to every single person he knows, freaking out over his mother freaking out and grounding him for just the _possibility_ of losing the place his whole life had been aiming at. Who knows how she’d react if he actually lost it to someone else. He had to all but kill himself now to the above average score. Liam doesn’t even know who this kid is and he hates his guts already cause he’s making his life hell and he hasn’t even done anything but shown up 4 years late to the party. Liam’s _grounded_ because of him. Now he has to be the one that tells him about NHS and he’d rather tell him to fuck-off back to wherever the fuck he came from so Liam’s life can lax off the xanax and effexor for a while.

 

 

But Liam’s not rude, not at all. Despite his stress level elevating to ridiculous height in one weekend, he’s still gonna be kind and give this guy all the magnitude of grace he can possibly purvey and invite him to NHS with all the politeness in the world like how Mrs. Flack told him too. Just not _today._ Because today he’s too upset at himself and the state of his life to even get his head out of a single textbook, throwing himself into schoolwork so the weekends drama can disappear for now.

 

 

He’s just praying that this kid _doesn’t_ come to NHS as he studies at a bench where the back building once was.

 

 

Inside Wellington, Zayn sits with Perrie in class, not-listening to her ranting and raving about weekend gossip, which was 99% talk about Kendall’s party that no one would shut up about already.

 

 

It really wasn’t that great.

 

 

“Seriously Zayn, did something happen or you just remembered you’re still in high school?”

 

 

Zayn rolls his grey coloured eyes today with a heavy sigh as he looks at Perrie from where he’s leaning back in his seat, testing to see how far back the legs can go before he eats shit on the ground.

 

 

 _“Well,”_ He starts, over-zealous and dramatic as he drops back on the ground and rests his chin on his hands.

 

 

“I just had the most _lovely_ weekend,” He’s all chirpy and smiles, emphasising his fake delight with a pop of his shoulders, pinching Perrie’s nose.

 

 

“I spent all Friday shopping in Westfield so I could find a pretty outfit I knew my lover would just _adore_ on me and we met up Saturday night and he snorted coke out of my asshole and jerked me off for like 3 hours under the moon and then ripped my clothes to shreds and rode my dick into the sunrise and played with my anus all morning as we spent all Sunday evening pressing flowers into my journal and writing love songs together that will one day be grammy nominated singles on my first album in a few months.”

 

 

Perrie scoffs again, turning back to look at him with a disgusted scowl.

 

 

“If you’re gonna be _sarcastic--_ ”

 

 

Before she can finish her complaint, Zayn rubs a lock of her hair between his fingers.

 

 

“It actually feels _softer._ What did you use?”

 

 

Distracted now, Perrie smiles.

 

 

“This neat stuff called olaplex. I _told_ you to come over. I bought it for you! You always say you’re gonna let me cut your hair so we can do _pink_ together but--”

 

 

There’s a crash suddenly as the stranger in red pants fumbles into the room, throwing all his stuff on the ground in the process. Perrie and Zayn both laugh a little as they watch him pick up his belongings.

 

 

 _“I bet he’s in the wrong room.”_ Zayn snorts and Perrie hits him in the arm.

 

 

“Don’t change the subject!” She says as she looks back at him again, realising he _totally_ distracted her from what she was saying.

 

 

“You haven’t come to school in _almost_ 3 weeks, Zayn.”

 

 

“Well, he’s here _now_.” He narrates himself as he leans back in his chair as he watches hot pants attempting to make conversation with Jade Thirwell.

 

 

He’s definitely brand new today. No guy talks to Jade and _no one_ sits there. Unless you want a knuckle sandwich.

 

 

“And “he” doesn’t tell me _anything_ and I’m just trying to understand what’s going on with Zayn lately.” Perrie tries to bring him back to focus but Zayn continues to watch as the neanderthal that is Stan Lucas is having a testosterone-driven outburst in the front of the room.

 

 

 _“Look,”_ Zayn points to them as he leans forward with a smile.

 

 

They both watch Stan blow a gasket before getting back into the obligatory p.d.a. that only over-sexualised band geeks partake in.

 

 

 _“Oh my God, this is so sad.”_ Perrie tsks as they watch him stand there, flustered. Zayn tilts his head sideways as he looks down his backside.

 

 

His outfit is _so_ misplaced, it should hurt to look at. But he somehow wears it well and Zayn thinks that’s quite an impressive feat.

 

 

It’s attention grabbing, the same brands as everyone here but worn all over him so he’d stand out in the hall just by walking around and Zayn doesn't like attention seekers. But he’s not even seeking it. It’s is so unintentional, it’s more of an obstacle of fascination than anything else.

 

 

For some reason, he doesn’t strike Zayn as someone that’s very European. His wide eyes and curious staring makes him look like a foreigner. Something new and unexplored.

 

 

A _virgin._ Not the sexual kind.

 

 

Zayn is suddenly glad he decided to take a break and come to school today. He thinks he’s gonna be an explorer this year.

 

 

“You lookin’ for a show?”

 

 

He knows the words are for him as he turns around and looks at Zayn now and his eyebrows raise when he sees his face clearly.

 

 

“Excuse me?”  

 

 

Well… he’s not _ugly._ Or foreign.

 

 

He’s reasonably attractive. A smirk grows over Zayn’s face as they take each other in. He’s not usually attracted to blue eyes cause they look so cold but this one is… _different_.

 

 

Yeah, he’s doing some exploring this year.

 

 

Hot-pants makes Zayn repeat himself.

 

 

“I said, _are you looking for a show?”_ He enunciates slowly, indicating he means their residential soulmates gagging away, completely forgotten now as they have a staring match.

 

 

Zayn snorts a little, like this is some kind of challenge of who can stare longer as he leans back and gets comfortable, setting his legs up. Perrie looks between the two of them for a moment, laughing a little at the occurrence before the bell rings and Zayn wins.

 

 

He turns away and runs right into their newly divorced calculus teacher, who’s already been coming to homeroom as a hot mess without hot-pants fucking up her day even more.

 

 

They all laugh, more at Mrs. Flack than the boy she’s thrown her mess at.

 

 

Perrie turns back to Zayn then, resuming her interrogation of what the hell he’s been doing for the last few months that Zayn ignores as he watches the show in front of them.

 

 

She introduces him to the class but Mrs. Flack’s voice sounds like static to everyone in this school. They say his name but Zayn doesn’t care enough to listen to it.

 

 

 _“Do you think he’s… gay?”_ Perrie whispers to him. Zayn only shrugs as they watch while Zayn continues to twirl his fingers in her soft, pink tinted hair.

 

 

“Nice shirt.” Zayn says aloud so he looks down at the stain on it. His audience Zayn never pays attention to laughs.

 

 

 _“With taste like that, God forbid.”_ he says to just Perrie now and she burst out laughing. Zayn eyes his backside again, leaning forward to Perrie’s ear now.

 

 

_“Actually, with an ass like that, he better be.”_

 

 

They both snort now and the strange creature finally leaves the room, much to Zayn’s disappointment. Now he can’t distract them from talking about Zayn’s whereabouts this weekend.

 

 

By the end of class, Zayn manages to get out of telling a flat out lie when he asks Perrie about how the painting turned out since he’s been out for a while and hasn’t seen the finished product. When she shows it to him, he turns it over to find _Liam Payne_ itched across the back, marked down after being on display at a gallery with all the rest of the art pieces that people submitted for yearbook.

 

 

The project question each artist chose for their work that everyone had to answer has been circled by the judge who this one was sent to.

 

 

Liam chose _Beach._

 

 

He’s _horrified_ to find out that she actually submitted it for yearbook cover.

 

 

 _“Why the fuck did you do this?!?”_ He hisses at her as the bell rings, outraged as he shoves it back on her desk.

 

 

She only shrugs, picking up her bag.

 

 

“Because I want _the people_ to see. What’s the point in being an artist if you don’t use every available platform? You know Lima will choose ours so, the revolution can actually be advertised!”

 

 

Liam has come to every gallery opening since he first did with Zayn and Perrie 4 years ago. Every year, Wellington has a gallery showcase and an annual contest for all the artists in school that submit their work to the honours committee, which Liam, of course, is president of now. So he’s choosing this year’s yearbook cover.

 

 

“That’s exactly why I told you NOT to. It isn’t fair to the people who don’t have a _biased_ judge! You just USED him for your own personal fucking GAIN--”

 

 

“Hey look, it’s hot-pants again.” Perrie does the distracting now as she points down the hall towards the stranger in his red-trousers. Only, his pants aren’t so hot anymore. He’s changed clothes, wearing all black now with a plain old white shirt like he’s trying to blend into invisibility.

 

 

“He’s kind of cute.” Perrie smiles.

 

 

Zayn’s eyes follow him as he tries to walk through the crowd, totally distracted.

 

 

“He’s fucking _hot_ is what he is. _”_ He murmurs as they watch him go.

 

 

Perrie frowns as she looks at Zayn again, already in his snack mode.

 

 

This guy doesn’t even need hot-pants. He still stands out in the crowd and he doesn’t even see people eyes follow him after he walks by. Including Zayn’s. Zayn smiles a little at his obliviousness.

 

 

There’s something about him that Zayn doesn’t want to use as a distraction anymore.

 

 

Genuine curiosity takes over now, the same curiosity that’s taking over everyone else in the hall.

 

 

_Who is he?_

 

 

_“Come on.”_

 

 

He pulls Perrie along with him as they leave the room, his irritation with her sending their painting to Liam completely forgotten now as he tries to follow their stranger before he gets too far away.

 

 

“Where are we going?”

 

 

“We’re gonna find out.”

 

 

He’d rather know where _he’s_ going.

 

 

Before he can get a chance to get _anywhere_ , a leprechaun springs forward out of the fabric of space they’re in, blocking the way in the hall, distracting Zayn from more important matters.

 

 

Zayn glares at Niall in annoyance for stepping into his line a vision.

 

 

“Hey,” Niall starts with his eyes on a brown leather wallet he’s bouncing in his hands.

 

 

“I’m sorry about, y’know, Saturday.”

 

 

“What?” Zayn squints as he looks past Niall, watching the new kid stop in the middle of the hall as he tries to read his schedule, getting bumped in the process as he’s unknowingly taking up space. Zayn snorts, shaking his head.

 

 

He’s definitely lost. And Zayn will gladly help him find whatever he’s looking for and more. Zayn doesn’t really have a type but, even if he did, he sees a walking exception to everything.

 

 

“I wanted to apologise for what I said to you.” Niall says, still looking at his hands.

 

 

“Look at him, he’s like an alien.” Zayn says to Perrie, who purses her lips a little as she looks at Zayn, going between him and Niall with puzzled brows. Niall looks up at him with a frown.

 

 

“I’m a what?”

 

 

“Zayn,” Perrie nudges him a little with her fingers in his, nodding to Niall since his attention is elsewhere which makes Zayn roll his eyes as he finally looks at Niall in front of him.

 

 

“What do you want?” He shakes his head a little, which makes Niall frown even more, like he’s burdening Zayn by apologising.

 

 

“I was saying sorry for being an asshole to you and… calling you that, saying what I said, I was _wrong--_ ”

 

 

“What are you talking about?” Zayn frowns in confusion now, which annoys Niall since he’s seriously gone out of the way to apologise and Zayn’s not even paying him a bit of attention to even listen as he stands here right in his face.

 

 

Zayn’s confusion right now is only from wondering why Niall is even _daring_ to talk to him at all in public and why does he have to do it _right now._

 

 

“Kendall’s party?” Niall reiterates with a vague hand gesture between them.

 

 

Zayn’s insides instantly panic at “party” when he realises Niall is trying to apologise for their confrontation at a place Zayn wasn’t supposed to be at a few days ago.

 

 

Kendall’s place.

 

 

His face keeps his current composure steady, uninvested in this conversation and uninterested in becoming so.

 

 

“What I said to you Saturday? I’m sorry--”

 

 

“Dude, seriously. What the hell are you _talking_ about?” He continues to play oblivious, talking over Niall.

 

 

Niall’s head sticks out now as he squints at Zayn, looking between him and Perrie, who’s confusion about what Niall is talking about is genuine because as far as she was concerned, Zayn would never go to one of Kendall’s parties.

 

 

Zayn squints back at him, mimicking his expression.

 

 

“I’m _talking_ about--”

 

 

“Look mate,” Zayn stops him, blinking rapidly with a sweet smile. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re smoking but I tend to tune out intoxicated Irishmen. Makes my dick soft.”

 

 

Zayn looks away from Niall again towards his latest interest but… he’s gone now, disappeared in the crowded hall.

 

 

“Shit,” Zayn grimaces, looking back at Perrie.

 

 

 _“He’s gone.”_ He tsks, shaking his head as he takes out another cigarette, a nervous habit of his but looking like he’s bored now.

 

 

“He went down the hall.” Perrie shrugs.

 

 

“And now he’s gone forever.”

 

 

“Who?” Niall asks

 

 

Zayn looks back at Niall now with a scowl.

 

 

“Who do you _think?_ Obviously not _you_ but it’s not too late for you to disappear too. _”_

 

 

_“Excuse me?”_

 

 

“Fuck you, Horan. You made me look _away.”_ Zayn pushes past him, dragging Perrie along with him. Niall watches them go, Perrie glancing back at Niall with a frown.

 

 

 _“What the hell was that guy talking about?”_ He hears her whisper to Zayn as they go out the door. Zayn only shakes his head, lighting his cigarette.

 

 

“Who knows what that _freak_ was on Saturday. Can’t keep ‘em _away_ me, _fuck sake_ . Should’ve been a lesbian like _you.”_ Zayn nudges her neck with his nose.

 

 

Perrie laughs, pushing his face away before slinging her arm over his shoulder.

 

 

“E…. K…. DMT…. GHB.” She lists off some drugs.

 

 

“All the letters on Sesame Street. Jock education central.”

 

 

They both laugh as they skip class outside together, smoking and snickering like the insubordinate juveniles they were, Perrie throwing her bag at Zayn that he dodges when he ducks under it and chases her across the lawn, until he wriggles her down to the ground. He takes a drag and blows smoke in her face as she squeals.

 

 

Niall glares at them both from the school, blood boiling at them laughing at him and insulting his intelligence, shaking his head and turning the opposite way.

 

 

He’s smarter than _both_ of them put together. He didn’t get in NHS for being a “jock” and he doesn’t skip class to get high.

 

 

“That is the last time I do _anything_ for Tom.” He growls to himself as he stomps down the emptying hall.

 

 

This morning, Tom drove to school and almost _killed_ someone in the street after being distracted by Eleanor and Lottie pointing out Niall walking out to the football field with Melissa Steel.

 

 

It was hard to focus with girls ranting in his ears about Niall being such a “sleaze” and “good for nothing slag” but Tom didn’t _care_ about that stuff. He knows Melissa would never in her life sleep with or associate with Niall ever so he really couldn’t care less about him flirting with her or anyone else. He knows it doesn’t mean anything.

 

 

He was angry at Niall and _himself_ for entirely unrelated issues and he just wanted to be alone with his camera. He didn’t want to see Niall or _anyone_ so he did what he usually does when he gets inside: walk around his school and take pictures until his first class.

 

 

No one really goes to homeroom and if they do, they don’t do anything there but chat. It’s just a filler for the morning.

 

 

He drops his bag off at Kendall’s locker and walks up and down the halls, snagging a shot of Georgia Ford’s Jason Wu pink stilettos, dangling from where she’s sitting on a window sill, eating a bag of crisps. The co-ed toilets where the contemporary art girls smoke cigarettes in the morning. Jesy and Leigh-Anne gossiping on the stairwell, posing when they see him as they make silly faces on the rails.

 

 

 _“Nelly girls.”_ Tom snorts as he walks by, squeaking when they pinch his bottom after their impromptu photoshoot.

 

 

He wanders empty halls and filtering ones, taking one photo of the suicide prevention hotline sign next to the safe sex flyers the Jesus freaks put up all over school(completely in vain), hanging on the boiler closet door then deleting it right after as he leans against a locker. He goes through all his pictures and deletes every single one, then leans his head back to stare at the wall.

 

 

 _If these walls could talk…_ He thinks, _the crazy shit they’d say._

 

 

They’ve probably witnessed just as much as Tom’s camera lens.

 

 

Niall texts him again then for the 100th time today.

 

 

He hates that he immediately drops his camera and opens it, leaving his nikon to dangle around his neck, abandoned in lieu to acknowledge a shitty boyfriend who’s texts feel like more of an alm to Tom’s thousand dollar cell phone than an actual attempt to communicate.

 

 

_Ni ♡_

 

  * ****Please talk to me T.****



 

 

 

Tom’s fingers hover for a few seconds before he deletes it, resisting throwing it at the wall, instead pocketing his phone and covering his face with both hands, wiping under his nose and holding in any gasp or sob trying to break free from his body. 

 

 

He wants to hate his guts. He wants to rip apart his own sternum and show him his heart so he can see how much his body hurts. But all he can manage to do right now is not text him back. The fact that this is an act of grandeur for them is so sorry, it only makes him angrier.

 

 

Kendall always used to say he was like Niall’s snivelling little puppy she had to rescue.

 

 

Tom doesn’t want to be a nelly puppy. He wants to grow a pair. Not balls. Wings, so he could fly above Wellington and see everything from somewhere where nothing and no one could ever touch him again. Not hurt feelings or shitty boyfriends or even a drop a mist from this goddamn beach.

 

 

The beach is more like a canyon. One big, bottomless hole. Even a canyon looks beautiful from far away… until you’re falling into it.

 

 

A bin shuffles on his left. The one he and Kendall used to steal from to dress like art students and hipsters so they could venture into the city as peasants.

 

 

Tom looks down the hall and sees a half-naked boy digging in the trash. It’s not really the “trash” but… to Tom, it’s basically the trash.

 

 

People stare at him as they walk by but, he just keeps digging for gold.  

 

 

 _“What the fuck…?”_ Tom squints a little, pushing off the wall as he brings his camera back up again, pausing to grimace as he watches for a second. He’s _really_ digging.

 

 

Tom snaps one of his legs sticking out of the bin.

 

 

Tom hesitates as he watches his bum sticking up into the air. His ass is very unfamiliar.

 

 

 _“Who… are you…?”_ Tom murmurs as he takes another.

 

 

When he stands back up and sorts through his findings, laying them out and holding his chin to decide, he stands there like he’s studying something profound. Tom’s brows raise now as he falters with his camera again, bringing it away from his face so he can see his strange boy with his own eyes.

 

 

The kid holds his pose effortlessly and he’s so… _model-esque._ It’s fascinating to even look at his posture. He’s not even trying to pose.

 

 

Tom has the eyes of a photographer. He frequently shoots Kendall and some of her friends from America and they were _beautiful_ but honestly… they weren’t very photogenic despite their fame. You can be beautiful and uninspiring and boring to look at, at the same time. They just had millions of instagram likes and useful last names so designers liked using their popular faces.

 

 

Tom knows a model when he sees one and the one standing in this hall is undiscovered and totally unabashed as he lets it all hang out without a care in the world of who’s looking at him.

 

 

Even just standing there, doing nothing but pondering his used outfit, he couldn’t be more photogenic than anything Tom’s ever seen in this hall.

 

 

And his butt is pretty perky.

 

 

Tom snorts a little, shaking his head as he brings his camera back up and snaps a few shots. The camera _loves_ him.

 

 

 _“What a natural.”_ Tom snorts as he reviews his shots.

 

 

Niall texts him again then

 

 

_Ni ♡_

 

  * **_**_Okay so you gonna ignore me? Cool. Real fucking mature._**_**



 

 

 

Tom squints at his phone now, shaking his head as he walks away, because Niall has lost his damn mind if he thinks he’s gonna talk to Tom any kind of way right now. He scrolls through the billions of texts from before.

 

 

_Ni ♡_

 

 

  * **_**_Where the fuck are you???_**_**


  * **_Just tell me you’re okay_**


  * **_TOMMY_**



 

 

 

Tom gears to delete and block his number now as he rounds a corner, running smack into Niall who snatches Tom’s phone from his hands when they collide as he glares at him, clearly seeing him coming.

 

 

He looks down at Tom’s phone in his hand and laughs.

 

 

 _“Really?”_ Niall nods at him now as he snatches his phone back. Tom only pushes past him but Niall grasps his wrist and pulls him back.

 

 

Around the corner, Harry walks into school with a pack of peanuts in his hand, whistling to himself cause this day has been pretty good so far as he pops the snack into his mouth when he stops as he hears Niall and Tom’s voices just around the corner, immediately eavesdropping like any normal person would.

 

 

“Let GO of me!”

 

 

He hears Tom demand angrily.

 

 

“I’m sorry, but what exactly are you trying to achieve here? Because I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong that you can’t even tell me you’re fucking ALIVE.”

 

 

“I figured you wouldn’t mind if I disappeared,” Tom says back to him casually as Harry slowly stuffs his peanuts in like he’s listening to a drama on the radio.

 

 

“I don’t want to _embarrass_ you, hanging around like a lost dog.”

 

 

Harry winces at that one, shaking his head as he tosses as peanut up into the air and catches it in his mouth.

 

 

“Why would you even say something like that-- _Tom!”_ Niall’s voice cuts off as their feet shuffle.

 

 

_“What is happening right now?”_

 

 

 _“You’re an idiot?”_ Harry whispers to himself.

 

 

“How could you ever… _embarrass_ me?!”

 

 

“I dunno, associating with “fucking faggots” sounds like it’d be pretty _fucking_ embarrassing to _me_.”

 

 

There’s a long silence now as Harry sucks on his salty snack with his lips pinched. He’s got no idea what the hell they’re talking about but it just got personal.

 

 

“Really? You have nothing to say _now?_ Cause you sure did Saturday. _”_

 

 

There’s still no words from Niall.

 

 

“Tell you what, you don’t have to say shit. Better yet, just lose my number. I don’t see a real use for you and my mouth for that either.”

 

 

“Jesus _Christ_ Tom,”

 

 

Their feet shuffle again.

 

 

“You KNOW I wasn’t talking about _you--”_

 

 

“Then… what am I Niall?”

 

 

It’s a pretty simple question.

 

 

“You’re not _Zayn.”_ Niall sighs after another long silence. What a shitty answer.

 

 

“I didn’t _mean_ it that way. Not in a general way… just _him_ . We were arguing and he was fucking accusing me of all this _bullshit_ like he was putting me in my place or something, like he’s so much _better_ than me. I just said the first thing that came to me without thinking about anything but _him_ Tom, I would never say that to anyone else.”

 

 

Harry realises now that they’re talking about the party… which means Zayn _was_ there. Tom saw him too.

 

 

Of course he did, Tom sees everything. Harry always found that a little disconcerting about him, how he always knows everybody's business, like he just _happens_ to show up whenever something important happens and probably has pictures of things that are more scandalous than Monica Lewinsky's dress.

 

 

But Harry knows Tom doesn’t like Zayn anymore than Niall does. In fact, he hates him and so does Kendall and all the other socialites, some ongoing war between them and Zerrie that Harry wasn’t here to get the full background on. It’s not too hard to figure out why they don’t like each other though.

 

 

The rich vs. the Robin Hood duo.

 

 

Last year, Zayn and Perrie made this agitprop art piece that hung in front of the auxiliary gym for a full week, a massive painting of Julius Caesar sitting on top of Wellington, snorting coke while his feet were stomping around on the ground like a giant with everyone else below him trying not to get smushed under his big feet, little people climbing up his back with knives, cutting him open with money spewing out of his back they were throwing down to the little people he was crushing.

 

 

Propaganda art to agitate the masses with controversy and provocative imagery was their signature craft.

 

 

Everyone knew it was supposed to be Kendall as the self-aggrandising dictator-giant coke-head and it had everyone in school chanting the painting's title for a really long time to her absolute fury,

 

 

_“Let’s all stab Caesar!”... a.k.a.Kendall._

 

 

While it was _hilarious_ and the whole joke stuck for months ahead, it only added more flame to the war when Kendall got a petition going around to get art club shut down for making offensive art that promoted drug use and bullying, as if Wellington was full of saints.

 

 

It almost worked though.

 

 

_Almost._

 

 

Zayn and Perrie managed to get away with it because it was “historical fiction” month so they had a solid excuse and Zayn had the entire student council on his side.  

 

 

Zerrie vs. the socialites was an ongoing war with an unknown date of origin around here but it was extremely entertaining for all of Wellington to witness cause Perrie was all outspoken about it but Zayn was like the ninja. But they left “Zerrie” over everything they did and Zayn used the council to their advantage so, you know they’re partners in crime, even if Zayn plays invisible.

 

 

“What do I have to do to make this better?” Niall begs Tom now.

 

 

Tom doesn’t seem to even have to think about that.

 

 

“Apologise.”

 

 

“I’m _sorry--”_

 

 

“Not to me.” Tom cuts him off.

 

 

_“To Zayn.”_

 

 

Harry’s mouth falls open in shock. He can imagine Niall’s doing the same. He does a double-take after hearing _Tom Harlock_ actually telling Niall to apologise to his own arch enemy in the clique that constantly tries to destroy his own. Like South Korea demanding that Seth Rogen and James Franco apologise to North Korea for making “The Interview”.

 

 

“Are you _fucking_ kidding me?” Niall says slowly.

 

 

“No, I’m not.”

 

 

“Why should I say _anything_ to him? He’s a fucking prick!”

 

 

“Yeah, he is. And so are you. But you’re gonna say sorry to him because when you call him that, you’re calling _me_ that so you’re gonna give him your most _sincere_ apology--.”

 

 

“Tom,” Niall stops him with a laugh, like this is a joke beyond his humour but he’s laughing anyways out of courtesy.

 

 

“I’m pretty fucking sure he couldn’t any less of a rat’s arse about an apology--”

 

 

“Well, MY ASS does!”

 

 

A locker is hit now.

 

 

 _“Apologise,”_ Tom’s voice lowers. _“Or never fucking talk to me again.”_

 

 

Feet march down the the hall as the bell rings now as Tom walks right past Harry, who sucks in a breath as he momentarily thinks he’s been caught but, Tom doesn’t notice him, glaring ahead angrily with a red nose.

 

 

“What’s with this?!?” Niall yells after him. Tom doesn’t look back.

 

 

“Give it to Harry.” Is all he says as he rounds the corner, engulfed in the crowd flooding out of their rooms.

 

 

Harry laughs as he peeks around the corner, seeing Niall sagging away with his wallet. Kendall must’ve given it to Tom after Harry failed to text her back about it last night.

 

 

An hour later, Niall finds Harry when he’s on his way to the student council room, right before third period to give him his wallet, stopping him at the doorway.

 

 

“How was the apology?” Harry smiles at Niall, who squints in confusion for a moment at how Harry has knowledge of something Niall is trying to forget even happened.

 

 

“What?”

 

 

“Did you do it or what? I can be your witness if Tom doesn’t believe you.” Harry offers with his mouth full of peanuts, tilting the bag up to his mouth.

 

 

Zayn walks by them as they’re standing there, smirking at Niall as he cuts between them to enter the room, leaving a wink behind with them.

 

 

Harry drops more peanuts into his mouth as he chews slowly, watching the exchange make Niall simmer lowly as he leaves immediately after, muttering something unintelligible under his breath. Harry laughs a little, taking that as the apology _definitely_ happened and it was probably missed entertainment.

 

 

While Harry watches Niall go down the emptying hall, a boy walks by that Harry’s never seen before, scratching his head as he squints down at his schedule.

 

 

Harry stops chewing his peanuts as his smile falter when he looks at him for a moment watching him chew the inside of his cheek with a grimace, like he’s reading something in Russian. He walks in a circle before turning away from Harry, walking down the hall, then beelining back towards Harry, walking right past him in the door before turning back the other way again.

 

 

Harry snorts a little.

 

 

He’s clearly lost.

 

 

Understandable, Harry still gets lost in this building sometimes too. He probably won’t be any help.

 

 

He’s gonna ask him if he needs help anyways.

 

 

Before he can--

 

 

“See something you _like,_ Styles _?”_

 

 

Zayn’s voice makes him jump as he slaps Harry’s back, making him nearly choke on the nuts in his mouth when he looks at Zayn’s grinning in his face next to him as they both watch the stranger walk down the hall aimlessly.

 

 

“Hottie isn’t he?” Zayn smiles at Harry, who turns on Zayn with slightly narrowed eyes as he closes the door with suspicion and caution all over his face, like he’s about to accuse Zayn of stealing a buck from his wallet. Zayn makes a creeped out face at the look Harry is giving him, backing away.

 

 

“You… alright?” He snorts, a little nervously.

 

 

Harry nods slowly as they join the rest of the council.

 

 

He was anticipating seeing Zayn this period since he apparently decided to come to school again, trying to figure out how he was gonna go about getting him to talk about what the fuck he was up to _Saturday._

 

 

Because Harry knows he went to that party now.

 

 

There were 8 people on the council.

 

 

Harry and Zayn, co-presidents, Glen Coco and Malcolm Lee, the Australian tech guys they make fun of relentlessly for being the Asian nerds, Jade Thirlwall and Jesy Nelson as secretaries that handle all the money relations and Stan Lucas and Andy Samuels as organisers.

 

 

Andy and Stan were Liam’s best friends since he was a baby and Glen was gonna see Liam in NHS later so, Harry couldn’t just casually bring up Liam to Zayn in this room with the entire council there to hear it. Not that they’d spread unwanted rumours. He just didn’t want to… start unwanted rumours.

 

 

He waited until he and Zayn were alone, organising flyers and printing off tickets for the winter formal happening in October, getting them ready to hand off the the Homecoming Committee.

 

 

“So, how was your weekend?” Harry tries for casual.

 

 

“Same as usual.” Zayn shrugs.

 

 

He doesn’t bat an eye, not leaving any doors open for further probing.

 

 

“D’ya hear about Saturday?” Harry says.

 

 

Zayn’s brows knit a little as he blinks once before he looks up at Harry curiously. Harry starts sweating now but trying to remain as unsuspicious as possible.

 

 

Zayn’s stares tended to make a lot of people nervous because he usually doesn’t seem like he pays anyone around him any real attention. So when his eyes land on you for longer that 2 seconds, it feels profoundly meaningful. Cause it’s rare and purposeful. He doesn’t look at anyone cause he doesn’t give a fuck. So when he does, things shift to weirdness. Like a painting changing what it’s always displaying.

 

 

Zayn’s standing at the copier with his hands deep in his pockets, vest thrown over his head like a towel, printing flyers while Harry is on the other side of the room, sorting through tickets.

 

 

“Were you there?” Zayn asks as he blinks a few times now after his intense unblinking stare.

 

 

He’s not saying if he was there or not yet even though Harry is already convinced he was. Harry smiles with a sheepish half-smirk.

 

 

“Yeah but, I don’t remember shit. I blacked out like, upon arrival.”

 

 

Zayn snorts, going back to watching the printer again as he head hangs between his shoulders again.

 

 

“Oh yeah… fink I heard about you and some kinda dilemma with the toilets.”

 

 

He’s successfully avoided mentioning if he was actually there or not. But Harry’s not so easily evaded.

 

 

“From who?” Harry asks, trying to bait him into mentioning Niall.

 

 

The things with rumours here is, the source is never really asked about and it was kind of rude to ask who told you about a rumour or where you heard it from. The point in rumours is to circulate on unverified accounts without a source. But since this was a rumour about Harry, there was a small window of an exception to the unspoken terms of etiquette in spreading gossip.

 

 

If Zayn brings up Niall himself, then it wouldn’t look like Harry was meddling… which is exactly what he was doing.

 

 

But… Zayn also knows that Harry is Liam’s best friend so, this probably isn’t gonna get very far. Harry just needs to know for sure if Zayn was there from _Zayn_. Because then, everything Niall said will just automatically be true and Harry going to Liam about it will have more solid backing behind his concern.

 

 

“Melissa.” Zayn says.

 

 

Harry can’t tell if he’s lying or not but it doesn’t even matter anymore. Zayn’s short answers have shut down all further discussion of the party and since Harry couldn’t remember anything else, he had no other angles.

 

 

There’s a pregnant silence as Harry drops the matter altogether. After a while, Zayn suddenly says,

 

 

“You really don’t remember anything?”

 

 

Harry looks up and watches him closely while Zayn’s still concentrated on the printer.

 

 

“Nothing at all. Why? Did you see me doing anything embarrassing? People have been telling me all day.” Harry pops another peanut into his mouth.

 

 

There was no way Zayn was getting out of confirming if he was there now.

 

 

“I _thought_ I might’ve saw you, tripping up the stairs with some old guy but--”

 

 

Harry chokes on his nuts, making Zayn looks up at him slowly.

 

 

“... I wasn’t sure if it was you or not.” Zayn finishes.

 

 

 _“What?!?”_ Harry hacks, hitting his chest. Zayn takes his vest off his head and throws it back on his shoulder as he quickly ambles over to him to hit his back with a smile.

 

 

"Can’t handle nuts in your mouth, Styles?” He laughs with a few concerned pats as he squats with him, his boots squeaking against the ground, a sign of being brand new. Harry waves him off as he spits it out into the bin with flaming cheeks.

 

 

“Wrong way down?” Zayn admonishes serious concern this time.

 

 

Harry nods after his throat finally stops spazzing.

 

 

Maybe the _shock_ should kill him. No one mentioned anything about him being with a _guy_.

 

 

_God was he that drunk?_

 

 

Never again would he touch absinthe.

 

 

“Are you serious?” Harry blinks up at Zayn as he stands back up. Zayn nods.

 

 

“Yeah mate. You looked totally out of it.” He looks back down at the tickets as Harry comes back over, adding,

 

 

“I didn’t know if it was really you cause… I didn’t know you _swung_ that way.”

 

 

He looks up at Harry then with a very _suggestive_ smirk as his head bobs while he leans back on the table. A smirk that Harry has never seen directed at him before, making his cheeks heat up.

 

 

He knew Zayn was a huge flirt but, he’s never made a pass at Harry like this before.

 

 

His mouth pops open as he’s stunned into silence because he didn’t know he swung that way either.

 

 

Drunk Harry sounds like quite a character. But… Harry’s not drunk right now and Zayn is making him blush with almost no effort at all.

 

 

Zayn laughs, shaking his head.

 

 

“I’m just teasing you dude,” He assures him. “No big deal. I don’t care, obviously.”

 

 

Zayn grabs the prints and stacks them with Harry, who is currently battling through a war-zone of how far gone he was Saturday.

 

 

“Also, I know what you’re doing. I’m not stupid.”

 

 

He’s looking Harry in the eye now. He’s wearing grey contacts today. Harry’s face is still stunned.

 

 

“What?”

 

 

Zayn rolls his eyes.

 

 

“Why are you so interested in knowing what I was doing there?” He says with one eyebrows raised, like he’s unimpressed.

 

 

“I’m not!” Harry lies, “I was just making conversation.”

 

 

Zayn stares him down for a hard, tense moment before heading back over to the printer machine, talking in the process as his boots drag across the ground.

 

 

“If I remember correctly, you showed up in Tom’s Escalade which, I almost didn’t recognise you by the way cause you looked like you were escaping from fucking Chernobyl,”

 

 

He starts, eerily casual. Harry remembers escaping the catastrophic nuclear disaster going down again inside of Tom’s escalade _vividly_.

 

 

Zayn saw Harry running into Kendall’s house while Harry didn’t see him at all. God, he was just like _Tom_. That all-seeing eye they have. The unnoticed guy in the background of everyone’s picture, quietly observing everything from a distance. The difference between Zayn and Tom being that only one had a third eye he took pictures with for hard evidence. The other one kept his third eye all to himself.

 

 

Harry’s heart is racing, unsure of what the fuck is happening right now as Zayn is fully admitting he was there and he saw Harry doing shocking things.

 

 

“So, since I now know that was in fact _you,_ I guess you were there with Niall. Yeah?”

 

 

He glances back at Harry for confirmation, who just nods quickly in agreement. Zayn grabs the prints and comes back over to Harry’s table, slamming them down with he rest of the flyers as Harry flinches.

 

 

“So, I take it Niall told you that he and I _spoke_ briefly?”

 

 

It was almost comical how royally Harry failed at keeping this casual. Zayn seen right through the entire thing.

 

 

He sighs now as the jig was found with it’s ass out, not even bothering with acting anymore as he obviously sucked dick at lying, pun unexpectedly intended.

 

 

Still chewing on, their conversation is taken off it’s casual course into a direction Harry pointed it towards, taking his agenda to be sly about this off the back-burner now that talking about the party was out in open-waters.

 

 

“Yeah. He did. And that’s not all he said.”

 

 

Zayn’s stare is intense. And… _hot._

 

 

His eyes seem to twinkle and his tongue slowly licks over his bottom lip and takes his vest off completely, like he’s undressing. The action has Harry’s eyes trained on his mouth as all the blood in his face races downstairs.

 

 

“So I guess you want something to stay silent as well?” His mouth twitches into a small smile, fluttering his lashes as his grey eyes trail down to Harry’s own watering mouth.

 

 

“What the hell are you _doing?”_ Harry blushes, almost in offence.

 

 

“Are you… _seducing_ me so I won’t tell anyone?!?”

 

 

Zayn shrugs.

 

 

“Dunno.” His eyes stay on Harry’s lips.

 

 

“Is that what you want?”

 

 

His voice is suggesting all the right things and it’s definitely what it seems like. Harry’s mouth doesn’t move now but he sucks in a breath when Zayn leans closer, focused on Harry’s eyes now as he props his hands up on the table.

 

 

“You know, I’ve never noticed how green your eyes are.” His lips stretch in a nice smile.

 

 

“I might try that tomorrow. They’re _gorgeous.”_

 

 

Zayn has _never_ flirted with Harry before but everything is forgotten about the absurdity of the situation as all he wants to do right now is pull Zayn up by his luxurious hair and snog this stupid smirk off his face if only he can stop feeling like the subordinate one in this moment.

 

 

Zayn always has that feminine, undefined gender kind of vibe that makes you question your sexuality.

 

 

Before anything happens, Glen walks into the room and the door swinging open making Harry jump like a criminal being caught in the act of a crime, jerking back away from Zayn, who laughs as he looks at Glen with a smile.

 

 

“Can we help you?”

 

 

Glen, who’s mouth his hung open now, begins to blush.

 

 

“I… uh…” He stutters as his eyes close and Harry turns away from both of them, mentally kicking himself in the ass from how sick this is, Zayn offering him a sexual favour just so he won’t tell _Liam_ about this.

 

 

“We were about to talk about the pricing for the formal tickets… if you guys wanna have any input, we’re holding a quick powwow right now.” Glen blurts quickly before the awkwardness of what this looks like settles completely. Because this was _exactly_ what it looked like.

 

 

Zayn looks back at Harry.

 

 

“We’re coming.” He smiles.

 

 

Harry squeezes his eyes now at the intended innuendo as Glen leaves right after, a muffled, _‘What the fuck are they doing in there?’_ comes through from the other side. Glen tells them not to ask and _great._ Rumours about Zayn and Harry flirting and having a thing spreading is _exactly_ what he wants to happen right now.

 

 

Harry turns back to Zayn with a heated glare at his ever-present smirk.

 

 

“We’re _coming,_ right?” Zayn’s face is lit with amusement.

 

 

“You know, you don’t have to buy my silence with _sex_ . I wasn’t asking you about this because I’m trying to _blackmail_ you about anything. I’m not Niall.” Harry turns back around now with his hands on his hips.

 

 

“I don’t want anything from you. I’m not gonna tell anyone, I just don’t… _understand_ you!”

 

 

Zayn sits back up straight with his expression bordering on anger now.

 

 

“Why the fuck do you care?!?” He almost yells at Harry, who finds himself unable to keep his own anger out of this as well.

 

 

“Because he’s my best friend! I don’t understand why you have to keep it some forbidden secret!”

 

 

There’s a pause with them both staring at each other defensively, both confused as to what the other’s motive was.

 

 

 _“Look,”_ Zayn closes his eyes and sighs now.

 

 

“I don’t remember hardly _any_ of Saturday. Yeah, I saw you there. I saw a lot of fucking people there. I don’t know why I _went._ I told Niall not to tell anyone because if Perrie finds out I went to Kendall’s party, she wouldn’t speak to me. Is it really too much to ask that you just not tell anyone I was there?”

 

 

Zayn’s expression has lost all jokes, flirts and anger, but more pleading now as he begs Harry to keep his whereabouts a secret.

 

 

He was worried about… _Perrie?_

 

 

Harry is confused. He thought they were talking about _Liam_ , not Perrie…

 

 

“What are you talking about? I’m not talking about telling Perrie, I’m talking about _Liam.”_

 

 

It’s Zayn’s turn to be confused now.

 

 

“What?”

 

 

Suddenly, a foggy conversation slips out of the blackness of Harry’s mind, something Liam told him before.

 

 

_‘I can only get him to talk to me if I’m pissed out of my mind, how sad is that?’_

 

 

That was from Saturday… _he got another memory!_

 

 

He’d got one this morning too, laughing with Niall on the stairs like how Niall told him.

 

 

“You don’t want me to tell anyone you were at the party…” Harry thinks aloud.

 

 

It’s as if they were having two totally different conversations right now.

 

 

Zayn is still very obviously confused.

 

 

“That’s… what I told _Niall,”_ He tentatively starts.

 

 

“What are _you_ talking about--”

 

 

Zayn cuts off his own question, like he’s just now remembering that Liam was also there...with him at some point, as he looks down at their prints solemnly.

 

 

“He told me you only talk to him when he’s drunk.” Harry says slowly. _“Why?”_

 

 

Zayn’s eyes shoot back up to Harry again, almost _panicked_.

 

 

“He remembers too?!?” He asks quickly.

 

 

“Noooo,” Harry squints at his panicked eyes. He doesn’t really know where he’s going with this right now. He’s not used to talking to Zayn about Liam so, they’re on very foreign grounds right now.

 

 

Maybe he can finally get some answers for what happened to them.

 

 

Zayn is biting his lip, looking at the ground now with his face turned into a deep frown. And suddenly, for some strange reason, Harry feels really bad for him. He’s only ever heard Liam’s side of things and he’s never really thought of how any of this has been for Zayn since he’s never really around to show this kind of emotion.

 

 

Emotion that indicates that he really does care about Liam and something is just really _wrong_ here _._

 

 

“Look, you don’t have to worry. I won’t tell anyone. Not Perrie or Liam.” Harry sighs.

 

 

Zayn squints at the ground now before he looks up at Harry as an indignant smile comes now, like he isn’t sure if he heard that correctly.

 

 

“You think I _care_ if he knows I got high and _socialised?_ Isn’t that what you do at a party? Get fucked up and talk about _nothing_ with _no one.”_ He shakes his head as he starts shoving all the flyers they have on the table into a box, packing up his things.

 

 

Harry winces a little at the bite in his words, cause yeah. That is what you do at a party. It’s what Harry does.

 

 

“Gee, I guess you _caught_ me.” He says sarcastically.

 

 

“I get a kick out of humouring tweaked out rich kids, my dirty secrets out.”

 

 

Okay. Now he’s _actually_ pissed Harry all the way off. Because Liam isn’t just some tweaked out rich kid and Zayn knows he is so much more than that.

 

 

As Zayn walks out the door, Harry makes sure he knows something else while they’re on the subject.

 

 

“That’s not your only ‘dirty secret’. I know about your little _flower_ collection.”

 

 

Zayn freezes at the door as his whole body tenses up.

 

 

When he turns back around, he’s _furious_.

 

 

“So what the fuck are _you_ now? Some kind of crook?” He accuses.

 

 

“Going through someone else’s mail is a federal crime.”

 

 

 _“Okay Mcgruff,”_ Harry snorts as he nods with his arms crossed.

 

 

“I don’t think that law extends to a cubby on school property. Of course I don’t snoop in your _mail._ I see them in his room all the time and they end up in _my_ mail sometime sometimes so I put them in yours, I know you know who they’re from.”

 

 

Zayn doesn’t disagree, keeping his bitten lips in between his teeth so, Harry continues.

 

 

“I don’t know what your problem is or why you get a “kick” out of breaking Liam’s heart,”

 

 

Zayn’s eyes close as his face breaks. Harry pauses but Zayn doesn’t say anything.

 

 

“... but he doesn’t deserve it and you could at least have the decency to tell him what he did so he can stop kicking himself over it and running himself ragged trying to make it up to you. He’s already stressed out enough as it is with his _family._ Doing _whatever_ you’re doing is only adding to it.”

 

 

The look on Zayn’s face is so dejected and miserable, Harry almost wants to tell him it’s all okay but… it’s _not_ okay at all.

 

 

“He hasn’t done anything… _wrong_.” Zayn’s eyes a watery when he opens them again as he looks at the ground.

 

 

“Whatever happened Saturday, shouldn't have. I didn’t want to… _hurt him._ I never asked for anything from him. I never asked for flowers and don’t didn’t sign up to be the keeper of someone else’s fucking _heart_ . I didn’t ask for his heart and you’re not doing me a fucking favour ambushing me about shit that isn’t any of your goddamn business that you don’t _fucking_ understand! I thought he would’ve fucking moved on by now!” He wipes his eyes off in annoyance with his tears that have spilled on his face.

 

 

“Zayn--”

 

 

“Harry,” Zayn stops him from saying anything. “Just _stay out_ of it! _Please_ ,”

 

 

He looks at Harry pointedly so, Harry just nods, shoving his hands into his pockets.

 

 

“... alright,”

 

 

He wasn’t gonna tell anyone anyways. But he still nods so Zayn knows he’s not gonna tell Liam. He honestly has nothing to tell him, this entire exchange has only confused him more and made him want to just ask him what the fuck _happened._

 

 

But… it’s clear the reason why hurts Zayn just as deeply as it does Liam so, it’s officially none of Harry’s business, if it ever was anyways.

 

 

He goes over to the printer to get the remaining tickets to bring out to the council with a million confused questions on his mind.

 

 

“Haz,”

 

 

Harry looks up at Zayn still lingering at the door.

 

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

 

Those two words usually sound completely useless to whatever the sorry situation is but right now, Harry genuinely believes that Zayn really is sorry. Not just from everything that just happened within the last 10 minutes. Everything else too. He just wishes he’d tell Liam that.

 

 

He looks like he did in year 10 again, that sad glint in his eye that’s always there that he rarely lets get through his contacts anymore. Harry briefly wonders if he started covering his eyes in an attempt to cover the depression that’s still inside him.

 

 

“I really don’t mean to hurt him. I just need… time before--”

 

 

He closes his eyes with a wince.

 

 

“I just need time.” He resigns with.

 

 

Harry wants to ask him _time for what?_

 

 

He just nods so Zayn finally leaves the room now while Harry grabs the rest of the flyers and tickets before joining him with the rest of the council, promptly telling everyone that they were _not_ having an impromptu hook-up in the copy room.

 

 

No one believes them, but they all agree that what happens in the council, stays in the council.

 

 

“Your dirty little secrets safe with us, guys.” Stan tells them jokingly as Jade sits on his lap.

 

 

Zayn looks at Harry from across the room as if to confirm _this_ is really between them as they stare at each other for a moment while the rest of the council argues about the prices of the tickets. Zayn leaves for a cigarette break halfway through it.

 

 

Harry could really use one too. This good day went sour pretty quickly.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

Harry doesn’t see Zayn anywhere for the rest of the day but he doesn’t leave his mind once.

 

 

As promised, he doesn’t mention a word of it to anyone, retreating into his dark cave like usual again. Even when Niall asks him if anything’s wrong, he keeps it all to himself.

 

 

At the end of the day, he’s standing at Leigh’s locker with Niall and their friends Josh and Andy.

 

 

They’re discussing the H.C. committee meeting that’s being held during 2nd period tomorrow morning but Harry isn’t listening because he’s the only one here that’s not on that committee so he at least has an excuse to be zoned out and disconnected from the group this time around.

 

 

Josh and Leigh groan suddenly, Leigh more like a faint gasp, as they look past Harry at something behind him. Leigh pulls Josh away with her, weaving their fingers together.

 

 

“Here comes the crybaby,” Josh groans as Leigh pulls him along with her.

 

 

“I’ll text you guys details tonight,” She rushes to Niall and Andy before quickly getting out a dodge down the hall with her boyfriend. Harry and Niall both watch them go before they look at each other with identically confused expressions.

 

 

“Cry baby?” Andy inquires them both before they receive their answer when Niall shuts his locker to reveal Liam sluggishly walking up to them with his head hanging low.

 

 

The three of them already know what’s wrong.

 

 

Josh isn’t really friends with Liam at all and Harry sometimes hears him slip in some homophobic remark about him and his family to the football team. Liam got kicked off the team in year 8 so, they used to play together and Liam was arguably just as good as Niall.

 

 

Harry knows he’s about to talk about Zayn and he’s glad Leigh quickly dragged Josh away with her. When they crossed paths, things got a little unpredictable.

 

 

Liam stops in front of them with his sad puppy-dog frown.

 

 

“Zayn?” All three of them guess at the same time but Harry immediately regrets it when Liam looks like he’s about to burst into tears as he shakes his head no, surprisingly.

 

 

“Thanks for bringing that up though,”

 

 

“Aw babe, what happened?” Andy says, rubbing his arm sympathetically as he squeezes his shoulder into him.

 

 

“Well, since we’re on the topic, it all started when I was born--”

 

 

“With _Zayn_ idiot.” Niall scoffs.

 

 

“Well,” Liam restarts as he sighs.

 

 

“I fell in love with someone who won’t even talk to me anymore.” He cries dramatically as he blinks up at the ceiling with his head leaning against Andy’s shoulder. Harry squints at the headphone he’s got in one of his ears.

 

 

“Are you listening to Frank Ocean again?”

 

 

Liam’s face crumbles as he buries his face in Andy’s shoulder now.

 

 

 _“Yes.”_ He mumbles into him.

 

 

“Oh, Liam,” They all gather into a small supportive group hug, Harry shoving Niall as he forces him to do it to, even though he rolls his eyes, he reluctantly puts his arms around Andy, Harry and Liam too.

 

 

A few girls coo “awws” at them as they walk by giggling, which has Niall’s eyes wandering after them as he breaks out of it for a split second but, Harry makes him stay.

 

 

 _“Which one?”_ He asks Liam, indicating which song when he tap his ear.

 

 

[“Ivy.” ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AE005nZeF-A)Liam sighs as they let go so he can lean back against the locker.

 

 

He gives the other headphone to Harry while Andy and Niall start talking about the committee again.

 

 

The lyrics are all very Zayn and Liam.

 

 

 _‘Arm around my shoulder, I could tell_  
_How much I meant to you… you meant it sincere back then_ _  
_ We had time to kill back then

_Didn’t give a fuck back then_

_We were kids_  
_You ain't a kid no more_ _  
_ We'll never be those kids again’

 

 

“Liam why are you _torturing_ yourself like this?” Harry grimaces as this song even has him feeling a little depressed over heartbreak now.

 

 

 _‘I thought that I was dreaming_ _  
_ _When you said you loved me’_

 

 

Harry is fight back the urge to tell him everything he knows, everything he’s seen and everything Zayn said to him today. Being a liaison is kind of embedded into his behaviour naturally now.

 

 

He takes out the headphones and looks at Liam in the eye. Liam, usually so confident and sure of himself, all broken up now over something he can’t help has Harry feeling broken up too, having his own experience with the ultimate rejection of someone you thought loved you recently, Harry really feels for him right now.

 

 

Niall looks over at them with a frown.

 

 

“Liam, why don’t you just walk up to him and strike up a conversation.”

 

 

“So I can be ignored in a more obvious fashion, yeah that’s a brilliant idea.” He sticks his headphone back in so the sound of the Ocean continues to cry into his ears.

 

 

Andy joins in with Harry now as he looks back at Liam.

 

 

“You could get a ladder and climb to the rooftop with a megaphone and profess your undying love? That’s pretty hard to ignore.” He suggests jokingly.

 

 

“I’d shout from the bloody _moon_ if I thought he’d listen.”

 

 

Harry’s heart clenches. He’s such a sap, he’s too emotional for the middle of the afternoon right now.

 

 

Liam really would do that if he could. He practically does already. He does the announcements everyday since he’s also in broadcasting and he manages to get Zayn in there somehow every week, subtly getting in some sweet shoutout that includes him some kind of way even though, Zayn’s not usually here that early to actually hear it.

 

 

His promotion of “Let’s all stab Caesar” everyday it was up was probably the funniest school week of all time although, it didn’t win him any brownie points with Harry’s girlfriend at the time.

 

 

Liam just simply didn’t care if anyone knew why he cared so much about Zayn and supported everything he did, even with what happened last year. Most people thought it was really sweet. Some… not so much.

 

 

People like Josh. Or Calvin. And the religious clubs they’ve got here.

 

 

There was quite a few homophobic people in this school to be honest, and Liam already got a lot of brute from the Jesus freaks clubs for being a child of insemination between the product of love between two women but, say something to his face and you will meet his left hook, divinity citizen or not. That includes Calvin, the most homophobic sociopath in school.

 

 

Even though Calvin is way older, Liam’s fight with _him_ is what got him kicked off the football team 4 years ago.

 

 

He was proud of his family and he was never ashamed of who how he was raised. That included not being ashamed of being in love with another boy and not caring what anyone thought about that either.

 

 

“If he won’t listen to your shouts, why don’t you send him a letter?” Niall joins in on their suggestions.

 

 

“He’d burn it.” Liam sighs.

 

 

“Send him a tweet.” Andy offers.

 

 

“He’d block me.”

 

 

Zayn wasn’t even on any public social media platforms but Liam would be lying if he didn’t stalk his instagram. The fact that they still follow each other at all was a pretty promising sign that Zayn hasn’t blocked Liam yet.

 

 

“Go Romeo and Juliet.” Niall gets a slap in the head from Andy and a punch in the arm from Harry after suggesting that.

 

 

“He’d let me die.” Liam shakes his head.

 

 

“You could send him a flower.” Harry adds purposefully, searching Liam’s dejected face for some kind of recognition.

 

 

“I’ve been giving him flowers since the first day I met him. It was the first thing I did when we met in year 5.” Liam says, and Harry brows raise. He didn’t know all that.

 

 

“Oh yeah… I remember that,” Andy laughs.

 

 

“Field trip to Botanical Gardens, right? New kid showed up with that blondie girl… what’s her name again?”

 

 

“Pezza.” Liam nods with a weary sigh.

 

 

“You know something Liam, obsessing over someone after they’ve rejected you for like 50 straight years isn’t gonna make him like you.” Niall starts but Liam scoffs and interrupts him.

 

 

“Shut the fuck up Niall. That’s _amazing_ advice. You should consider taking it.”

 

 

 _“Let me finish.”_ Niall hisses.

 

 

“I’m just saying maybe you should give it a rest for a while. You know, make him realise what he had when he doesn’t have it anymore. I’m telling you, he loves his audience. Even an audience of 1 would be missed to someone blind.”

 

 

Andy, Harry and Liam all look at Niall now. That was possibly the most insightful thing they have ever heard him say.

 

 

“You mean…”

 

 

“Treat him the way he treats you.” Niall shrugs.

 

 

“Don’t look at him, don’t say his name. Don’t even _think_ about him.”

 

 

Niall holds Liam’s shoulders now.

 

 

_“Get laid.”_

 

 

They rolls their eyes at him as they shake their heads and Niall throws his hand up in protest once he’s lost whatever credibility they were all humouring him with.

 

 

“You guys are gonna learn not to dismiss everything I fucking say.”

 

 

Harry had to admit… that wasn’t a bad idea. The parts without sex.

 

 

“Fine, don’t get laid but, at least try to lay off the Zayn train for a while. See how it goes.”

 

 

Harry knows what Niall is doing as the idea slowly settles for Liam. If he focused on other things… maybe he’d forget Zayn entirely. Maybe that was for the best. Zayn wanted Liam to move on too.

 

 

Whatever they had back then has been over for a while. They’ll never be those kids again.

 

 

“Fuck Zayn, focus on NHS!” Andy says encouragingly.

 

 

“I know that competition is coming up at the end of the year. It’s be nice to get a new trophy for the school that isn’t football related.” He turns to Niall and Harry then.

 

 

“No offence.”

 

 

Liam’s face goes from miserable puppy to anger in a snap and if there was anything scarier than an angry Payno… well it was probably an angry Kenny but Harry pushes that though to the back of his mind as the subject regarding what Liam is _actually_ upset about comes up.

 

 

“I haven’t even got THAT anymore! Fucking hell, someone _shoot_ me already.” His fist hits the locker below his waist.

 

 

“What do you mean, are your grades dropping?” Harry acts like a worried parent now.

 

 

His own grades had dropped to dangerous levels after his own break-up and it was be _terrible_ if that was happening to Liam now.

 

 

“No!” He shouts.

 

 

“Some stupid new kid got tested a few weeks ago and Flack is _making_ me invite him to NHS because he apparently has higher scores than me. ME! If I lose my fucking scholarship…” He covers his face with his hands in misery.

 

 

_“God my mother is gonna murder me,”_

 

 

The bell finally rings then, signalling the end of this funday Monday finally as kids flood into the halls instantly to get ready to go home or onto their after school activities.

 

 

“Some tested higher than… _you?”_ Harry asks incredulously. Liam nods with his face still covered.

 

 

Who in the hell could possibly be smarter than _Liam?_

 

 

“What new kid?” Andy asks him, cutting into Harry’s thoughts but they’re all distracted by the sound of feet padding down the hallway, approaching them… fast.

 

 

“His name’s Tomlinson or something…” Liam lifts his head back up with his mouth perched in a flat line. Harry whips back around towards Liam.

 

 

 _“Tomlinson?”_ He repeats with the ache of something hauntingly familiar pulling at his limbs.

 

 

“Who?” Andy squints.

 

 

 _“Him,”_ Liam points at a blur of motion skirting past them as he flies down the hall.

 

 

Harry stands there watching as time seems to slow down all of the sudden, like he’s suddenly getting some kind of episodic memory after being dropped, not into his black memory but into some kind of past life of his that’s seen this all before, like he was watching a star shoot across the sky once and now he’s experiencing the phenomenon all over again with the boy shooting past them before he bursts out of the school.

 

 

All Harry saw clearly was the flash of pure _terror_ in his eyes as he was running wicked fast.

 

 

Everyone in the hall is flustered as Wellington has a commutative gasp of shock and wonder, reverberating around behind him in the hall in his dusty trail.

 

 

 _“Who is he?”_ They all wonder together.

 

 

The four boys walk outside, following him running across the school yard.

 

 

Outside, Perrie and Zayn lounge on the front steps at the very bottom, curled into each other as Zayn’s head rests in her lap, laughing about nothing cause they’re both high before they’re both startled, screaming at the short legs flying over their heads as their stranger jumps clear across the steps.

 

 

“Fucking HELL!” Perrie laughs loudly when she throws her belongings up into the air, covering her mouth as she shakes with laughter.

 

 

“Who the hell is that guy?”

 

 

Zayn watches him go with a dopey smile.

 

 

“I love him. He’s a _star.”_ He laughs, throwing his things on the ground too as they both laugh at their mess.

 

 

“Jesus, Mary and JOSEPH, that kid’s got some legs on him!” Niall comments as they watch him from the top of the steps, run clear through the street against traffic, not even stopping to catch his breath.

 

 

“I wonder if he plays footie?”

 

 

“You see how he just ran across that street?” Andy laughs.

 

 

“Didn’t Tom mention almost hitting some moron in the street this morning?” He asks Niall now.

 

 

“Is someone _chasing_ him?” Liam goes back inside to see if anyone was following, just as Calvin runs out of the building, pushing all of them out of his way as he stops on the steps.

 

 

“YOU’RE _DEAD_ TOMLINSON! YOU HEAR ME? **_DEAD!”_ ** He yells into the air towards _Tomlinson_ but, it’s futile. He’s shoot off and disappeared into the fabric of space, the episodic nonpareils appearance as fleeting as a shooting star itself.

 

 

“GO TOMLINSON!” Niall shouts through his hands as he laughs and Liam hits him, telling him not to cheer for him before Niall hits him back and they start wrestling while Andy laughs and films it on his phone behind Harry.

 

 

Harry who isn’t paying any of them any attention as his eyes a far away, still watching in awe as this kid genius who’s threatening to take all of Liam’s glory runs with all his might down the street, like he’s transfixed.

 

 

He wasn’t sure if he’s ever heard of anyone smarter than Liam. He could wrap his head around it. Even after he disappears around the corner, Harry couldn’t get the image of him flying by out of his mind for the rest of the day.

 

 

It was the strangest sense of seeing a familiar stranger he’d ever had in his life, deja vu that the entire thing had happened before.

 

 

Even his dreams still thought about it.

 

 

Later on that night, he dreams he’s running on a field. Running up and down the football field, practicing all alone like always with Coach Grimmy shouting at him to go faster.

 

 

He keeps running up and down the field, back and forth, back and forth, going in circles. Just like his life, always running in endless circles that lead to nowhere. Only this time, he gets bored of it, opting to run past the football field, onto the beach now as he dives right off the cliff and runs across the beach that stretches out for hundreds of thousands of miles after breaking free of the monotony his life was becoming.

 

 

He keeps running, never running out of stamina, fast like some kind of superhuman boy who can run faster than anyone in the entire world.

 

 

It was the best feeling, to run away from it all. He could just laugh at the rest of the world he left behind, letting out his embarrassing cackle.

 

 

The laughter echoes aloud around him and it _scares_ him when he hears it as he stops running suddenly. This time, it doesn’t scare him because it sounds like someone else, it scares him because it echoes around the void he’s found himself in and he realises… he’s completely alone.

 

 

There wasn’t even a colour accompanying him, the void all hollow and throbbing, cold and empty, just like the one in his chest as he suddenly finds himself back in his recurring dream again, back in his empty, lonely old room. Sometimes Kendall felt cold and empty too.

 

 

He’s been stuck in this room for more than a year, in his chest where his heart was supposed to be, carrying it around with him everywhere he went. Maybe he’s had it his entire life but he’s just ignored it since he could never fill this void. Like an annoying itch you could never reach so you ignore it, hoping it’ll just go away but the more he ignores it, the more it crawls up all over his body, consuming him from the inside out until he becomes the void and there he is, being nothing, with no one, nowhere. He could never figure out what this room is or what the void is.

 

 

Now, Harry realises this room is a coffin.

 

 

He falls to his knees as he covers his face with his hands and sobs as if he’s attending his own funeral that no one showed up to.

 

 

It was so empty in here. Everyone was still on that beach he left behind. He couldn’t even could keep _himself_ as company.

 

 

As he sobs into his hands, a pair of foreign hands, smaller than his own, covers his, pulling them away from his face and a warm pair of thin lips placing a small kiss on his forehead over his curly fringe, erupting that familiar warmth of something impactfully delightful and loving in his body that awakens in his sleep now. For a split second, he almost thinks he’s finally made it to heaven and he finally made it to his dad again, a void that will never be filled ever again when Harry’s alive.

 

 

But this angel isn’t his dad. He’s not even sure if it’s an angel. His dad didn’t have blue eyes.

 

 

Harry looks up at the shimmering blue eyes in front of him,crinkling at the corners with a lovely warm smile to match, that feeling a familiarity and comfort that you get when you come home after being gone for a while that he was alright and everything was gonna be okay.

 

 

 _“You alright, love,” a voice_ assures him. It’s not his own voice but he knows who it is, even if they’re a stranger.

 

 

It’s not distinctively masculine or feminine or the voice of God. It’s a voice that Harry loves and he wants to hear it again. All he could see was warmth, like he was looking at the sun, attached to blue eyes sitting in a blur of smudged features that are impossible to distinguish.

 

 

Those eyes are crystal clear though, like looking into the sky. Maybe that’s where they are.

 

 

The voice comes back.

 

 

 _“Well are you coming or what?”_ It asks before the figure takes off ahead of Harry in a blur of motion like a shooting star, moving lightning fast, past the speed of light. Harry takes off as well again, right behind it. They were both running so fast, it was like they were running across the water on the beach, or running through air. Like they were _flying._

 

 

Harry realises now they _are_ running through the air as the beach is far away and they’re up in the sky, flying high away from it. They flew far away from that empty void into the clear skies as Harry leaves his loneliness behind now. They were so high, it would take an eternity to get back down to the beach. He didn’t wanna go back.

 

 

He was flying freely now, escaping his lonely room and shallow beach to follow the sun.

 

 

Inside him, that warm feeling fills up in his body and it reminds him of his mother, that thing she always does that makes him feel less sad. It’s an indescribable feeling.

 

 

He’s _happy._ He laughs again as they fly and it finally feels real.

 

 

But it’s just a dream.

 

 

When Harry wakes up, it’s 4 in the morning. But he wakes with a smile on his face and a few tears on his cheeks.

 

 

What a strange dream.

 

 

He couldn’t remember it exactly but, he knows the monotony of that recurring nightmare feels disrupted. He felt light and warm still, just like the previous morning.

 

 

Twice in a row? He must’ve stumbled into some good luck somewhere this weekend, an unfamiliar guest that hardly made appearances in his life.

 

 

By the time he’d combed his hair and brushed his teeth, the happiness from his dream resting on his shoulders was almost all gone as he stared at his reflection. His bomb wasn’t ticking still but, it was still there.

 

 

By the time he made his way to school, walking with a rowdy Niall, his dream was slipping out of his grip completely, like a faint whisper he desperately tried to hold onto, as if his light shoulders would crash down like weights again if he lost the memory of it completely. Trying to remember it at all felt like trying to grab onto smoke and it made him sad that he’d forgotten the entire thing already.

 

 

He just remembers feeling something he hadn’t known he could feel at all and now that it’s gone, he wants it back.

 

 

Niall, seeing Harry completely lost in thought again, begins to rough-house with him to bring him out of his head a little until they’re full on wrestling as they laugh at the randomness of it.

 

 

When Harry has Niall in a headlock, a wave of sweet smelling, expensive perfume washes over them and Harry instantly panics, thinking it’s Kendall, who he hasn’t seen or talked to since Saturday.

 

 

The source walks right by them, and it’s not Kendall at all, but a boy.

 

 

Harry pauses as he watches him go across the pavement, walking coolly with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders totally relaxed, like he hasn’t got shit to worry about with his designer jeans hugging his hips tight as they sway with the swagger of someone that’s confident and at ease.

 

 

This time, nothing in Harry’s mind whispers _‘Who is he?’_.

 

 

Instead, it whispers, _‘It’s...you.’_

 

 

_Tomlinson._

 

 

He doesn’t know how he knows. He can’t even remember the weekend or this morning but somehow, his brain has heard the name in passing somewhere along with knowing he’s only been here for a few weeks and he’s almost certain that’s _him_ as a memory resurfaces from an unknown date of origin.

 

 

After he disappears into the crowd, the wind knocks out of Harry all of the sudden as an entire life he’s never lived flashes before his eyes after Niall pushes him into the busy street.

 

 

He manages to catch himself even though his already beaten up Chuck Taylor’s rip even more.

 

 

It was such an existential moment. Like he had a reality check of who he was and what the hell he was doing after he and Niall part ways when Harry goes to the field like always alone today, shaking his head to himself as even he wonders where the hell his mind was.

 

 

He regrets going to Kendall’s place too. Maybe it was a good thing his memory was failing him.

 

 

Later on today, he has a meeting with someone from a dream and Harry’s memory stays forgotten as a whole new chapter of his life opens up that turns his entire world upside down.

 

 

His name was Louis, and he was about to turn Wellington into a disco ballroom with him as the star DJ.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've met the jocks, the socialites, the art kids and you've seen how they interact. And you've met Louis. Now, Louis is gonna meet some jocks and socialites himself, along with the rest of the school as more paths finally cross. Again.


	6. v. Louis meets The One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis meets the only person in Wellington that matters. Afterwards, his growing friendships between others are established more firmly.

 

 

**Louis Pov**

 

 

**_Tuesday_ **

 

 

 

By the time lunch rolls around, there were about 100 different rumours floating around school.

 

 

Absolutely _none_ of them involved Kendall Jenner or her lame party… which was unusual. The air had changed since yesterday.

 

 

Actually, it changed drastically since this morning. A few people caught some scandalous things happening behind the school this morning and it had everyone buzzing even more than Monday.

 

 

Someone actually caught the untouchable Zayn Malik kissing a boy. Well… not really _kissing_ kissing. But it was the most public display of intimacy anyone had ever seen from him. It was actually more like they caught Zayn sitting in a cloud of smoke he shared with someone but still, the fact still remains that no one knew who this person was and that was keeping things interesting enough to make many curious as to who the hell he was.

 

 

Like Liam.

 

 

The collective few that had seen Zayn and the mysterious person out back with their own eyes and not just word of mouth were already theorising what they were doing together.

 

 

Louis, being the oblivious buttercup he is, has no idea why people are staring at him but, he’s sure to ignore them all this time around. He was kind of over trying to make friends the convenient, traditional way after Monday. He wasn’t gonna make the same mistake twice. Which was acknowledging anyone at all.

 

 

He keeps to himself and pays attention in class. Unbeknownst to Louis, there were already some rumours that have surfaced about him after his losing his drug virginity in public.

 

 

He’d memorised the names and faces of the entire upper and lower sixth form classes, which was every single student in year 12 and 13. He knows all their names and also knows the ins and outs of the building, thanks to Perrie’s detailed map.

 

 

They informed him of the magnitude how crucial it is regarding where he sits at lunch. Their only words of advice being: stay the fuck away from the cafe lawn. It’s filled with sharks and Louis was fresh meat on the beach.

 

 

Perrie spent her lunch in the art room while Zayn was in the music room.

 

 

Once Louis gets his lunch today, he quickly moves through the cafe lawn, on his way to the music room when someone stops him in the middle of the patio. A blonde hair, blue eyed grinning boy Louis recognises as Niall Horan.

 

 

His yearbook picture was scribbled with _“fucking YUCK”_ and _“sleaze jock”._

 

 

“Hey we’re running a poll for new students here at Wellington,” he chirps with a friendly irish charm,

 

 

“Could you answer a few questions?”

 

 

Louis blinks in surprise.

 

 

“Uhh… sure.”

 

 

“Great!” Niall gets out a pen and pad.

 

 

 _Oh_. He’s serious.

 

 

“Are you a catcher or a pitcher?” Is his first question and Louis’ cheeks heat up.

 

 

_“...excuse me?”_

 

 

Niall raises his eyebrows and looks over at his jock friends table, smirking

 

 

“Sorry, wrong question to start with,” he says to Louis

 

 

“Has your muffin been buttered?”

 

The question totally throws Louis off

 

 

“My _what?”_ He asks, confused.

 

 

“Would you like us to assign someone to _butter_ your muffin?”

 

 

Louis looks down at his lunch tray, which was a salad. He’s still coming down from his high from smoking with Zayn earlier so he’s thinking maybe he’s hearing this all wrong.

 

 

Zayn told him that most people don’t get high the first time but with the amount of adrenaline naturally in his body already, he was higher than a motherfucker when he came back into school.

 

 

It’s been two hours. This conversation is a testimony that he’s still high right now.

 

 

“I haven’t got a muffin.” He states carefully, like he isn’t sure himself, and Niall and the boys at the table next to them burst out laughing and Louis realises he’s not hearing _anything_ wrong and this guy is just fucking with him.

 

 

One thing Louis could not take is people laughing at him. It was just plain rude. Before he can say anything to take control of the situation though, a girl from the table behind them does it for him.

 

 

Kendall _fucking_ Jenner.

 

 

“Niall, what do you think you’re doing?” She asks calmly, and Louis can’t believe he is this close to her as he and Niall both look over.

 

 

She’s really here, a living, breathing mere mortal and not some made up figure on TV.

 

 

Louis looks back and forth between Niall and Kendall, unsure of who he’s supposed to be talking to at the point, or if he should even say anything at all.

 

 

The interaction quickly shifts from Niall and Louis to Niall and _Kendall._

 

 

“I’m just being friendly.” Niall says innocently, smiling at her then looking back at Louis.

 

 

Kendall rolls her pure brown eyes. There’s isn’t one lick of makeup on her face and she’s nothing short of a porcelain doll even still.

 

 

Next to her is Tom Harlock and two other girls Louis recalls as Lottie Rogers and Eleanor Calder, all of them staring at Louis as well but right now, all he can do is stare at Kendall. She was so beautiful in person.

 

 

Louis wants to ask for her skincare routine. He heard a rumour earlier that her face is ensured for £10.000.

 

 

“You were supposed to call me back last night!” Tom says sharply to Niall, but Kendall shushes him so he blinks away quickly, off to the side now as he glares into space, shaking his head.

 

 

Kendall then turns _her_ cool gaze to someone else as the conversation shifts from Kendall and Niall to Kendall and _Louis_.

 

 

Standing before her and her fashionable posse felt like standing before a council of deities.

 

 

They were all wearing matching Fendi and Off-White and Louis could never dream to be on their level of _drag_ . To get clothes that aren’t even on sale yet would only be through the means of personally knowing or having connections to the actual designers that _want_ you to wear their clothes and possibly pay for you to have them first.

 

 

Of course, that’s Kendall’s entire career. Modeling not just clothes but her entire lifestyle. People follow her lead.

 

 

Louis literally seen Kendall walking across the Trevi water fountain in Fendi’s couture show in Rome last month in this exact outfit, grey and white striped vest with a matching red ascot as a choker, ruby red bow ties on the ankles of her stilettoes.

 

 

“Is he bothering you?” She asks, not even waiting for Louis’ answer before looking back at Niall like he’s an insignificant ant.

 

 

“You do not come to a party at my house, with Tom, and then harass some poor innocent boy right in front of us _3 days later_ . He’s. Not. _Interested_.”

 

 

Louis has never heard a voice as poise and calming as it is intimidating at the same time. Like her calm voice contains a thunderstorm inside her.

 

 

There’s nothing subtle about the control she has over this entire situation. A perfect balance of casual dominance exists that she clearly has over this boy but she keeps it full of grace instead of outright saying the obvious. Like, she doesn’t have to tell someone they were ugly because they already know.

 

 

She looks back at Louis pointedly

 

 

“Do you want to have sex with him?”

 

 

Louis nearly chokes as the question throws him completely off-guard.

 

 

“No thank you.” He rushes, looking at the ground so as to not meet Niall or Kendall’s eyes or the hundreds of other eyes watching the whole thing in the middle of the cafe. Niall looks _horrified_.

 

 

“That’s NOT what I was-”

 

 

“Doesn’t matter. It’s settled. So you can go shave your back now.” She smiles sweetly.

 

 

_“Bye Niall.”_

 

 

Niall slumps away then after glaring at her, shaking his head as he mutters _“bitch”_ as he storms away, ignoring everyone laughing at him and calling him “sus”... whatever the hell that means. Louis immediately recollects himself and starts to walk away as well but Kendall isn’t done yet.

 

 

“Wait,” She says folding her hands under her perfect chin, and Louis freezes.

 

 

He’s suddenly more aware of his heart continuing it’s jittered thump inside him, like a clock ticking away to an infinite time frame.

 

 

“Sit down.”

 

 

It’s not a question. She motions for the seat in front of her. He looks around briefly, because there was no way she was talking to him.

 

 

“Seriously, sit down.” She repeats with a friendly smile. Her voice was so sweet, no one probably ever tells her no.

 

Louis slowly sits at their table, slightly red eyes languid and in complete awe,blinking slowly so he doesn’t wake up from the beautiful dream.

 

 

“Why don’t I know you?” She asks him in a light voice.

 

 

His words feel dumb.

 

 

“I’m uh new. I just moved here from India.” He says and Kendall’s eyebrows raise.

 

 

“What?” She exclaims

 

 

“I used to be homeschooled.” He explains further

 

 

“Wait _what?”_ She says again, like she doesn’t understand.

 

 

Louis’ eyes dart, unsure if he’s speaking English properly now as he doubts his own words.

 

 

Was he really in India this summer? Shit, he has to answer now. The rest stare at him blankly while Kendall’s inviting smile makes Louis feel rushed to respond again.

 

 

He’s too high for long sentences so, he tries to say as little as possible to not embarrass himself. First time he meets his idol and some guy gets him high beforehand and drops him off at school again, leaving him to fend for himself.

 

 

He makes a mental note to not be tempted by Zayn ever again. During school hours anyways.

 

 

“Private teachers taught me at home-”

 

 

“No no, I know what homeschool is I’m not retarded,” She snorts, then looks at him like he’s just said he lived in a box.

 

 

“So you’ve never actually been to a real school before?”

 

 

“Not… like _this.”_ Louis shakes his head as he glances around. Lots of eyes are lingering on them ever so often and Louis doesn’t think he likes it as much as when he was with Zayn and Perrie. They feel like nosy eyes trying to eavesdrop on the conversation.

 

 

Kendall leans back in her seat, taken aback.

 

 

“Shut up.” She gasps. Louis purses his lips in silence

 

 

“Shut up!” She repeats again, although Louis didn’t even say anything.

 

 

“Homeschool… that’s really interesting.”

 

 

“Thanks.” It’s all Louis could think to say, even though that wasn’t really a compliment.

 

 

“But you’re like really hot.” Kendall goes on in disbelief, as if all homeschooled kids were supposed to be ugly freaks or something.

 

 

Tom glances at Louis now, looking him up and down before he snorts and looks away, down at his nail beds that are clearly more interesting to look at than Louis.

 

 

The undertone of Kendall’s backhanded compliment is ignored cause all Louis can think about now is that Kendall Jenner thought he was really hot. All other statements to the contrary were irrelevant from this point on.

 

 

“Thanks.” He says again.

 

 

“Is that the only thing you know how to say?” Lottie’s pointed voice scoffs as she scowls at him. Louis doesn’t know how to respond to that since it kinda was the only thing he knew how to say right now.

 

 

“So you agree?” Kendall asks curiously, ignoring Lottie’s comment.

 

 

“Agree?” Louis repeats like a dumb parrot.

 

 

“You think you’re really hot?”

 

 

It was such an odd question.

 

 

“Oh… uh.. I don’t know-”

 

 

“Oh my god I love your accent! It’s so adorable.” She gushes, cutting him off.

 

 

“Thanks.” Louis utters again, back with the stupid one word.

 

 

He doesn’t feel like he’s making a good first impression on himself right now. Maybe they can tell that he’s stoned.

 

 

“So if you’re from India… why are you white?” Eleanor asks with a seemingly permanent state of cluelessness etched across her face. Lottie looks over at her, offended.

 

 

“Oh my god Eleanor, you can’t just ask people why they’re white…”

 

 

Louis blinks slowly, deciding he was definitely too high for this conversation. He forces the mush out of his brain and works to string real coherent words together.

 

 

“I’m originally from _Doncaster,”_ He paces his words, trying to keep his eyelids looking like he’s really awake.

 

 

“But I’ve been moving around since I was about 10 years old.” Louis just barely manages to finally get a full sentence out.

 

 

“That’s funny, Lottie’s from Doncaster too!” Eleanor chirps excitedly. Lottie only continues to scowl at him.

 

 

“Your name’s Lewis, right?”

 

 

Louis looks over at Tom, who’s been the most disinterested in this entire exchange.

 

 

 _“Louis.”_ He corrects him. Tom’s ice blue eyes finally look at his own fully.

 

 

“Isn’t that what I said?”

 

 

Louis’ head tilts slightly at his condescending tone, finding himself smirking a little in amusement as he sees through the fogginess and looks at Tom clearly.

 

 

These guys clearly get off on some kind of sway they have over the rest of the school and Louis can see why Perrie said what she said now.

 

 

But Louis is not intimidated so easily. Especially not rich teenagers who are probably no different than any these people offering them their attention around them that they pretend not to notice.

 

 

The moment of being star-struck is finally let go of as Louis finds his _real_ voice again.

 

 

“You said _Lewis.”_ He corrects Tom, whose brows raise at the change in tone.

 

 

It takes them approximately 7 seconds to take each other in as the girls all look between the two boys with curious and hesitant eyes, like they were watching an exchange of two different species of humans cross paths.

 

 

The cigarette behind Tom’s left ear was a brand Louis distinctly recalls once having seen a sailor puffing on once before when he spent a summer in a tiny village off the coast of western France.

 

 

You can only get that brand in that village or Paris.

 

 

“My name is _Louis_ . Like French? _Je m'appelle Louis. Toi c'est_ Tom _, le débutante.”_

 

 

Tom’s eyes, along with the three girls, widen now when Louis speaks perfect French to them. For some reason, he’s finding that easier to speak than he is English at the moment.

 

 

All at once, Tom loses his coldness when he blinks as his eyes flood with marvel, suddenly looking more like a child than an incognisant socialite.

 

 

 _“Tu parle Français?”_ He asks Louis if he speaks French in shock. Louis smiles and nods.

 

 

Kendall’s eyes dart bewteen Louis and Tom as she’s now shut out of _their_ conversation, going from Kendall and Louis to Louis and _Tom_ after a short pause as the air shifts now that the table turns. Louis finds himself more interested in Tom than he thought he’d be. More interested than Kendall, now forgotten as she sits right in front of him.

 

 

It suddenly feels like this is Louis’ table and he’s invited _them_ to join _him_ for lunch now.

 

 

 _“Nous sommes nous rencontrés?”_ Tom squints at Louis after asking him if they’ve met before.

 

 

Louis calling Tom by his first name and referring to him as “the debutante” was Louis revealing to _only_ Tom that he already knows who he is: someone _very_ wealthy and very _gay_. And his guess that Tom speaks French was spot on, as anticipated, just from the small detail of his preferred brand of cigarettes.

 

 

His total recall is very handy in moments like these. Now he and Tom both tune out everyone else as they launch into a conversation only the two of them will understand.

 

 

 _“Je crois, oui.”_ Louis nods from side to side with a small smile.

 

 

He keeps his current position of having the upperhand here as he takes on the mystery role, playing with knowing more about Tom than Tom knows about him, reversing Tom’s ultimate roll of knowing everything about everyone as he’s having the table turned on him.

 

 

Tom’s face scrunches up in confusion now.

 

 

 _“Heir?”_ Louis jogs his memory.

 

 

_“Vous avez une photo de moi?”_

 

 

Tom blushes now.

 

 

“Yesterday?” He squeaks, like he’s been caught in an embarrassing position, ass-out.

 

 

_“Tu n'étais pas là?”_

 

 

Tom looks at the girls like he’s asking for help now but, Louis and Tom were the only one’s in that hall yesterday. Louis’ smirk translates another message exclusive to them again.

 

 

_Yeah, I saw you taking pictures of me, dear._

 

 

“Were they good?” Louis smiles all the way now as Kendall, Lottie and Eleanor stay in total exclusion from what they’re talking about, like Tom and Louis already have some kind of inside joke going here.

 

 

Tom’s eyes close as he laughs, grinning at Louis now when his eyes open as he squints again in surrenderance as if to acknowledge he was caught in the act as he nods.

 

 

 _“Touché.”_ He sighs.

 

 

Louis tuts something that a sailor used to say to his mother when he attempted at flirting with a married woman, implying that _she_ was actually flirting with _him_ as he tells Tom not to take him for a fool, when it’s the other way around. Like a mind-game of reverse-psychology.

 

 

It works.

 

 

Tom bursts out laughing now as his cheeks _flame_ with his mouth popped open.

 

 

“Alright! God, I was there!”

 

 

Kendall has finally had enough of the attention being everywhere _but_ on her as _she_ started this before Louis uprooted the entire thing with Tom.

 

 

She clears her throat as she cranes her neck, untying her choker and taking out her top-knot as her hair all falls around on her shoulders, holding her scarf in her lap to squeeze.

 

 

“I’m sorry,” She laughs briefly as she closes her eyes. Louis and Tom don’t look away from smiling at each other now.

 

 

“Where did you learn French?”

 

 

Louis pulls his eyes away from Tom then to look back at Kendall.

 

 

“Around.” He shrugs, and Eleanor snorts, looking over at Lottie after staring unblinkingly.

 

 

“I like him!” She whispers.

 

 

“Is that where you got your outfit? ‘Around’?” Lottie does air quotes.

 

 

“Yes.” Louis retorts, not missing a beat and Tom laughs now.

 

 

He learned very quickly that the less is known about him, the more people crave to know.

 

 

Louis thinks Tom looks better when he’s smiling rather than frowning like Lottie. His smile doesn’t seem like Kendall’s. He’s actually smiling _at_ Louis. Kendall’s doesn’t have the same feel to his.

 

 

“I like it.” Tom shrugs now, tilting his head to examine Louis’s shirt, drumming his fingers along his jaw, chewing on them slightly.

 

 

His eyes were studious like a doctor’s. Louis can tell just from the way they focus in and out of him that he’s got the eyes that take in great detail and being a photographer is probably embedded into his blood.

 

 

He dusts off his pale eyelashes as he looks at Louis’ shirt closer, indicating to Louis that he might own glasses he should probably be wearing.

 

 

“Exploding head on YSL… very artistic surrealist realness but still _cunt.”_ He nods approvingly as his eyes go back to taking in the details of Louis’ face again.

 

 

Louis’ brows shoot up now when Tom uses that word in that context.

 

 

Kendall looks over at Tom now.

 

 

“What is “cunt”?” She squints at him. His smile disappears as he looks at her, blinking rapidly.

 

 

“Oh it’s… like.. um, slang.” He mutters.

 

 

_“From where?”_

 

 

“Gay slang.” Louis admonishes as Tom’s eyes flit back over to him again as they share another smile after Louis winks.

 

 

He thinks he and Tom are gonna be good friends.

 

 

“So you _are_ gay.” Lottie tilts her head in genuine curiosity, like she’s just figured out some great mystery.

 

 

“Is it really that obvious?” Louis asks sheepishly.

 

 

“Kind of.” Tom snorts.

 

 

“It’s okay, you’re like Tom.” Eleanor assures him.

 

 

“You’re more boy-like. Not, like, totally faggoty.” Her nose scrunches up funny now.

 

 

Louis frowns in confusion. He hates talking to morons. It’s like they speak their own made-up language.

 

 

“Totally _what?”_

 

 

He looks at Tom as if he’s gonna translate that one to him but before he can, Kendall shushes them all.

 

 

“Can you excuse us for just a sec?” Kendall quickly says to Louis, huddling with the 3 of them briefly before coming back to address Louis again 5 seconds later.

 

 

“Okay, you should know that we don’t do this a lot so this is like a really huge deal.” She starts,

 

 

“We want to invite you to have lunch with us everyday for the rest of the week.” Eleanor finishes with an excited smile.

 

 

Louis blinks at them as his mind goes blank.

 

 

“Really? You don’t have to-”

 

 

“Brills, so we’ll see you tomorrow?” Kendall interrupts. It’s a rhetorical question.

 

 

“On Wednesdays, we wear Chanel.” Eleanor smiles.

 

 

“Pink. Well, you can do red like Tommy.”

 

 

Louis didn’t have anything Chanel.

 

 

As he’s roaming the halls off to his next class, the situation dawns on him of what just happened. Kendall Jenner thought he was really hot so she invited him to eat at her royal table every day.

 

 

What?

 

 

He’s more surprised that nothing went horribly wrong and he actually held his own and kept his cool more than anything else. He didn’t embarrass himself and Kendall seemed to actually like him. She actually wasn’t anything like what Louis thought she would be.

 

 

His thoughts stayed on Tom actually. He almost forgot he even met Kendall.

 

 

Louis runs smack into the back of someone standing at their locker as he rounds a corner after leaving.

 

 

 _“Oy,_ watch where the fuck you’re going!” A familiar irish voice yells at him.

 

 

Louis looks up and is met with Niall Horan, again. A.k.a the school slag, runner up to Zayn, that propositioned him in the middle of lunch.

 

 

“God, _you_ again.” Niall glowers.

 

 

“I’m so sorry!” Louis rushes, even though Niall should be the one apologising here to be honest. He was pretty fucking rude earlier. He can’t believe Tom would have anything in common with this asshole.

 

 

Louis stops when he notices the tall boy standing next to Niall with brilliantly wide sea green eyes, staring back at Louis, awestruck.

 

 

He’s got a curly mop of hair and soft looking plump lips slightly parted right below a cute button nose that makes Louis’ own jaw gape a little.

 

 

He’s… _beautiful_ . God this school is just crawling with _scorching_ teenaged boys.

 

 

He’s absolutely beautiful and he’s looking at Louis like he’s seeing the sunrise at dawn.

 

 

For the first time ever, Louis’ memory is failing him because he can’t seem to put a name to this boy’s beautiful face. But Louis knows who he is. His crooked feet are a dead give away.

 

 

He opens his mouth to say something but someone walking by bumps into the side of him, making him trip over his literal own feet and stumble into Louis, assuring Louis exactly who he is.

 

 

_Styles._

 

 

He almost falls but Louis catches him and rights them both.

 

 

“Oops.” He squeaks and Louis laughs.

 

 

“Hi.”

 

 

“Nice one Harry.” Niall snorts, closing his locker.

 

 

Harry is still in Louis’ arms and they’re looking at each other like they’re the only ones in the hall.

 

 

Louis isn’t sure what is happening but that thumping thing in his chest suddenly feels a few pounds heavier inside him.

 

 

“You smell really good.” Harry utters dreamily and Niall snorts at that, which makes him break away from Louis finally, snapping out of whatever daze he was just in. Niall looks between the two of them.

 

 

Zayn dumped an entire bottle of perfume on Louis so he wouldn’t walk around smelling like marijuana. He wouldn’t describe himself as smelling very good right now. More like a chemical infused pile of smoke. But Harry said he smells good so Louis automatically smells _damn_ good.

 

 

“Well have you got a name or are you just gonna stand there and stare like a freak?” Niall says.

 

 

“I’m Harry and this is Niall.” Harry blurts out, sticking out his hand for Louis to shake. Louis stares at it unblinkingly for a minute too long before he realises he’s not offering to platonically hold his hand but _shake_ it.

 

 

“I’m Louis… Tomlinson.”

 

 

He doesn’t know why he says his surname as well so he forces his hand up to grasp Harry’s so the awkwardness of his sudden nervous shakes doesn’t surface, finally snapping out of it as well and wow... _the contact_. He smiles widely at the way it sends sparks down his spine, making him shiver. It seems to have an affect on Harry too, Louis can practically feel him vibrating in front of him.

 

 

“I know.” Harry blurts, then squeezes his eyes shut quickly.

 

 

“No, I mean I know your mum.”

 

 

Louis blinks once at the admission.

 

 

“...what?”

 

 

Harry shakes his head quickly.

 

 

“No, I mean--”

 

 

“Aren’t you that kid-genius threatening to take all of Payno’s glory?” Niall cuts him off.

 

 

Louis shoves his hands in his pockets and looks down at his shoes.

 

 

“Yeah, I’m alright I guess.” He says modestly.

 

 

Harry shakes his head in awe at that because if he’s really outscoring Liam Payne, he’s _more_ than just alright.

 

 

“You’re _brilliant_.” Harry utters, unknowingly outloud. Louis looks up at him to laugh

 

 

“I wouldn’t say all _that_.” he shrugs “ Besides if anyone’s brilliant it’s you guys” He says, gesturing to their team jerseys, Niall’s team captain one.

 

 

“I hear the football team here is pretty legendary.”

 

 

Niall brightens at the compliment, throwing all apprehensiveness he seemed to have towards Louis out the window.

 

 

“Say, I _like_ this kid. He’s smart AND appreciative.” He says to Harry, then looks back at Louis.

 

 

“Oh and about earlier,”

 

 

“Don’t worry about it. It’s already forgotten.” Louis tells him and Niall smiles.

 

 

“Well, I think you’re gonna get along just fine here Lewis.”

 

 

“ _Louis_ ,” Harry corrects Niall.

 

 

Louis never knew how much he could love the sound of his own name in someone else’s voice.

 

 

Harry’s the only person to know his name today without Louis doing it for him.

 

 

“Well, it was… interesting meeting you. I’ve gotta get to calc.” He says, backing away from them, holding his gaze with Harry for as long as he can. Niall pushes Harry towards him.

 

 

“Well, Harry’s got calc as well. You can go together. Get to know each other. Maybe you can help Harry be less of a dumbass since he’s currently failing.” he snickers, then bounces off in the opposite direction.

 

 

Louis glances at Harry, glaring in Niall’s direction.

 

 

“Are you alright?” He asks him hesitantly. Harry smiles at him.

 

 

“Yeah, I’m brilliant. He was just joking. Are we off?” He says, starting towards the mathematics hall.

 

 

Louis follows Harry.

 

 

They’re very quiet as they go, suddenly struck with an unexpected wave of silence. It’s not particularly awkward. Their shoes talk as they pad down the hall together. Even though Louis is very talkative, he doesn’t find a need to fill their journey together with anything other than his presence.

 

 

Harry doesn’t talk as much as everyone else Louis has met here and Louis doesn’t want to disrupt the flow of his silence. Harry waves at people who call his name as they walk by but, otherwise he stays in his own little bubble.

 

 

When they get to Mrs. Flack’s room, they sit next to each other.

 

 

“So you’re apparently the smartest kid in school.” Harry starts casually now, initiating small-talk all of the sudden. For some reason, Louis doesn’t find it very natural.

 

 

He seems a little nervous to be talking to him and Louis just knows Harry doesn’t typically talk a lot now for sure.

 

 

“How’s that like?”

 

 

Louis shrugs.

 

 

“I don’t know. You’d think it be pretty great but I’m not too sure how _thrilled_ Lima is gonna be about me joining NHS.” Louis says, and Harry’s smile falters a little at the use of that nickname.

 

 

The one only _Zayn_ used. The Zayn whose name or anything related to him are usually only for one reason.

 

 

_Him and… Louis?_

 

 

Those names together floating around in his head makes him uneasy. So he pushes the thought out of his mind entirely.

 

 

“I wouldn’t worry about him.” Harry assured Louis with a nice half-smile that showed Louis Harry owned half a dimple in his cheek,

 

 

“He’s a _little_ intimidating when you see him but he’s like, the _nicest_ guy you’ll ever talk to here. You guys will probably make a great team.”

 

 

_‘Not so sure about how he’d feel if you called him that though..’_

 

 

They talk all through class and Louis was very happy Harry continued to talk to him instead of retreating back into himself. He didn’t come off as shy at all. He was obviously very popular, being a jock. Louis would describe him as introverted and reserved.

 

 

But he loved the sound of his voice and the was his mouth moved. He found his eyes lingering there each time they looked at each other, not paying much attention to Flack at all. If Harry noticed Louis’ eyes, he didn’t seem to mind at all.

 

 

He clicked with everyone he’s come into contact with very easy today but talking to Harry now felt like the most natural thing in the world. Like he was catching up an old stranger he once knew in the past.

 

 

He didn’t want to be a mystery to Harry or a Lewis said like Louie or a speak French now because English is failing.

 

 

He just wanted to be Louis.

 

 

Louis ends up telling Harry about all of his entire life story in exchange for Harry’s. He tells him how awful the previous day was, including Calvin from childhood and how traveling all over has left him displaced from how normal schools work and explains how he missed most of his classes which was probably why he hadn’t noticed Harry until today even though he thinks he’s seen glimpses of him around, which Harry agrees with on every account, feeling like they’ve been walking right past each other for years. He leaves out the part where he knows he _definitely_ would’ve noticed him.

 

 

Although, despite what he’s learned about advertising his queerness to the wrong people, he’s sure Harry wouldn’t mind. He’s definitely getting vibes from this guy, and that _excites_ Louis. He doesn’t flirt with Harry like how he did with Zayn and Tom. It’s all very platonic and friendly but it still resonates in Louis differently.

 

 

It felt genuine. He wondered if Harry noticed that too.

 

 

At the end of class, Flack calls for Harry to stay after to talk about his grade in the class, which typically meant it wasn’t looking too good and Niall’s joke about Harry’s grade might not have been a joke. Louis agrees to see him tomorrow with a hopeful smile.

 

 

When he leaves class, Niall is standing outside.

 

 

“Where’s Harry?” He asks Louis.

 

 

Louis sees Zayn leaning against a locker he almost blends into, black on black, that must belong to Perrie, who is rummage through it next to him, together a little ways down the hall.

 

 

“He’s staying after class.” Louis says before scurrying off down the hall.

 

 

“Wait, Louis!” Niall shouts after him, saying his name correctly finally.

 

 

“Are you coming to the NHS meeting tomorrow?”

 

 

Louis nods briefly, groaning internally because _great_ , Niall was gonna be there.

 

 

He didn’t typically dislike people in general but after what happened in the lunchroom with Niall knowing his reputation and seeing his total dick status seemed to line up in real life… he wasn’t too sure if he was gonna like the guy too much.

 

 

Once he’s caught up with Zayn and Perrie, he can’t help grinning widely at them, even when they give him looks that say “wtf”, for clearly blowing them off at lunch.

 

 

“Guys, I know I skipped out on you but you won’t believe what happened!”

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

After school, Louis finds himself at Zayn’s house, which was bustling with women.

 

 

His house was quite smaller than Louis’ but it had a strange quality about it. At first glance, it really doesn’t seem like much to look at but if you look twice, you’ll notice he has a beautiful view of the entirety of Wellington through his bedroom window. You could see the whole beach, which actually wasn’t as big as Louis thought it was.

 

 

The strange location of where he lived being right on border of Wellington felt almost symbolic of Zayn himself. He had a really nice view but he wasn’t really a part of it. He was stuck in the middle somewhere where the uglier view of the rest of the city stayed on the other side of his house.

 

 

When you look with your eyes, everything looks one way but when you get closer, you start to get the uglier details of it’s true face. Zayn’s house had the opposite effect. He was further away from Wellington already yet, he still could see the ugly details of things beyond it from his room.

 

 

He has 3 beautiful sisters, Perrie being the obvious 3rd. His 4th and smallest sister, Safaa, was out with their dad somewhere. Louis is introduced upon arrival although, he barely makes it to Zayn’s room as Doniya, Waliyha, and Trisha (Zayn’s mum) all crowd around him, talking a mile a minute. Louis smiles graciously, taking it all in stride.

 

 

“Alright, alright. Give him room to _breathe_ please, for fuck sake,” Zayn mutters in annoyance, dragging Louis upstairs with him to his room.

 

 

The girl's eye Perrie with questions.

 

 

Zayn’s never had an _official_ boyfriend before and he’s certainly never brought someone home that he allowed for them to see, let alone meet, aside from Liam who practically grew up in this house once upon a time.

 

 

Perrie only shrugs.

 

 

She doesn’t know what to make of Zayn’s behaviour with Louis either. He seemed to really like him. And yeah, you could say that Zayn seemed to like everyone a little too _excessively_ at times but this was somehow different.

 

 

He shared Louis with them and that was the most shocking thing of all.

 

 

The Zayn she knew and loved a few years was a huge flirt, yes. Even when they were kids, but he never acted on it then. After she came back, he was doing _way_ more than just being flirty.

 

 

The innocence behind it all was gone.

 

 

This Zayn now was promiscuous, doing all kinds of stuff that Perrie didn’t even want to know about in detail. Perrie honestly has _no clue_ what happened with Liam.

 

 

Zayn never wanted to talk about it so she just left it for the most part. But it was more than just with Liam. Everything about him changed. He didn’t really talk about anything to Perrie anymore about personal stuff. Whatever it was, it made him closed off to most people, including her but here was Louis already in his house and meeting his family after just one day.

 

 

It was a nice change, she supposes. As long as he was happy, she couldn’t really be too worried about it. Afterall, she liked Louis too.

 

 

He was like this new, vibrantly fascinating creature that had an aura about him that just made you curious to know more and find delight and surprise with what you get.

 

 

Maybe it was how innocent he was, as far as being cleansed of Wellington’s filth goes. It made them want to keep him pure. Actually, that good-natured feeling she got from Louis, how he genuinely doesn’t care about materialism and money kind of reminded her of Liam in a way. Liam somehow managed to stay clean of most of Wellington’s filth too.

 

 

They were both virgins in some shape or form.

 

 

Maybe Louis reminded Zayn of him too…

 

 

Perrie tells the Malik women she’d explain Louis as best as she could later as she bounds upstairs to join Zayn and Louis in Zayn’s room.

 

 

When she enters, Zayn is sprawled out on his bed, twirling his rings on all his fingers around nervously while Louis looks around, mesmerised by all Zayn’s little knicks and knacks. Coming into anyone’s room was like stepping into their mind. And Zayn’s was a direct reflection of the colourful way his mind works.

 

 

The graffiti spray painted on his peach coloured walls. The posters of different artists his was into, people Louis had never even heard of. All his records from what Perrie assumes is lost _Touch_ archives lined up on his dresser and a vinyl player next to his window.

 

 

Louis touches the flower pot hanging from the ceiling filled with dozens of randomised flowers spilling out, adding more colour to his room in front of the window in front of the bookcase along with the fairy lights that are hanging along the wall. Perrie and Zayn smirk at each other.

 

 

“Wow Zayn,” he murmurs “Your room is quite…”

 

 

He meets Zayn’s green contacts.

 

 

“Pretty.” he says. Zayn grins

 

 

“I try.”

 

 

Perrie flops onto the big brown bean bag chair next to the record player.

 

 

“So, Kendall Jenner wants you to hangout with her and her loyal band of ignorant followers?” She asks. Louis sits next to Zayn on the bed, crossing his legs like a pretzel.

 

 

“Yeah, but it’s not what you think! This could be a good thing.” He quickly begins to defend the situation, but Perrie laughs in delight.

 

 

“Are you kidding? This is GREAT! You _have_ to do it and you have to tell me all the horrible things they say.” She laughs, and Louis bites his lip.

 

 

“So you want me to… spy on her?”

 

 

Perrie shakes her head.

 

 

“Don’t think of it as spying. She invited you in after all right?”

 

 

Louis nods

 

 

“Yeah, I guess. The whole thing still blows my mind really.”

 

 

“What blows your mind?” Zayn asks him, his arm moving across Louis’ waist, careful not to touch his stomach as he’s pulling Louis back into him.

 

 

Louis holds Zayn’s arms as he’s dragged easily. Zayn was kind of stronger than he looks.

 

 

He’s not gonna lie and act like he hasn’t been listening to every word of gossip about Zayn but it does make him think about how everything he heard makes Zayn sound like he’s a wild animal in bed.

 

 

“Kendall… sticking up for me.” Louis traces his fingers over Zayn’s silver rings at his waist, shaped in various symbols and skulls.

 

 

“Niall was seriously being a creep. She could’ve just let him humiliate me in front of everyone but she didn’t. She dragged him in front of them and even gave me her number in case I wanted to talk about anything at all.”

 

 

“Yeah, you’re right. That _is_ weird” Perrie thinks out loud.

 

 

“I wonder what’s she trying to plot now…”

 

 

“Maybe she isn’t plotting anything.” Louis offers, “Maybe she just, y’know, likes me.”

 

 

“That’s too genuine of a motive for someone like her.” Perrie says, shaking her head in thought. Louis watches her curiously, unable to hold back the question any longer.

 

 

“Why do you hate her so much?” He asks. Perrie looks at him confused

 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

 

“Kendall, you seem to _really_ hate her.”

 

 

Perrie nods in confused agreement

 

 

“Yeah, what’s your question?”

 

 

Zayn’s fingers move across Louis’ waist slowly, which Louis ignores now as he continues to talk to Perrie.

 

 

“Well, my question is why? Kendall seems… _sweet--”_ His voice jumps up as he grabs Zayn’s hand, stopping it from doing anything with his belt as he looks down at Zayn below him with a wide grin.

 

 

His eyes are focused on Louis’ belt, like he’s trying to figure out how to take it off telepathically.

 

 

Perrie’s face contorts into contempt.

 

 

“Kendall Jenner is NOT sweet. She’s a vile bitch and she ruined my fucking _life!”_ Perrie bursts angrily, looking out the window. Zayn sighs as he shakes his head, both he and Louis locking eyes now.

 

 

“Year 8,, Kendall had everyone in our grade sign this petition saying that Perrie was a les-”

 

 

“Zayn! Please!” Perrie yells at him, “Shall we not?”

 

 

Zayn holds his lip in as he frowns at her. Louis looks back up at Perrie now.

 

 

“Look Louis, the most important thing you need to understand if you don’t learn anything in this school is that you can’t trust just _anyone_ or anything you hear. People in this school are _not_ nice. They might smile in your face but they will talk about you like a dog when you turn your back. You may think the wrong person is your friend and it’ll come back to bite you in the ass. _Kendall_ is that wrong person. The whole charming sweetness is an _act_ . She’s like a snake. A sneaky, manipulative snake. She is the type of person so _thrives_ off attention and validation because she’s just an insecure little girl who needs everyone else to be below her to feel good about herself. It’s what her entire career is based upon. If no one is looking at her or paying attention, she loses the validation that not even money can buy her. All she cares about is herself and staying at the top of the social construct of this fucked school. Someone comes along and threatens the attention she needs, she will attack in the most silent way possible to destroy you. People have been talking about you all day, now all of the sudden, they’re talking about _Kendall_ and you. Do you think that’s a coincidence?”

 

 

Louis didn’t totally dismiss what Perrie was saying. He just couldn’t go off her word alone on this. He had been listening to the students around him all day. She wasn’t exaggerating when she said Wellington’s foundation was built on rumours.

 

 

There was always whispers about someone who’d heard this and that, even if it sounded too ridiculous to possibly be true. Louis even heard a rumour about himself. Someone talking about Zayn hooking up with some “new kid”, _fucking_ in the back field this morning.

 

 

Yeah, the rumors were totally exaggerated around here. Louis just couldn’t see what Perrie saw in Kendall.

 

 

Plus, Perrie wasn’t totally innocent here either.

 

 

She had some nasty rumours of her own too. Apparently, she’s known around here to make gratuitous, _graphic_ art that always has parent boards calling for boycotts of the art programs.

 

 

Eleanor had referred to Perrie as a “disgusting art-dyke” and it was mildly disturbing for Louis to hear about. He’d asked Eleanor what made her say something like that and she told him that Perrie was a lesbian that forced herself onto girls until she got outed and went crazy so they sent her to a nut house for over a year.

 

 

Of course Louis didn’t believe that absolute rubbish, but it didn’t stop his curiosity from taking over.

 

 

Rumours are built off some kind of twisted version of the truth. Perrie went to a hospital for a year for a _reason_ and Louis is not judgemental in the least bit but it did make him curious as to what the hell happened here 3 years ago that’s made them all this way.

 

 

He asked around a little bit and most people said the same general thing. Perrie was outed 3 years ago, went crazy, and got sent away for evaluation for the entirety of the next year. It all sounded very horrific and he was sure that Perrie had been through some shit and had her reasons for feeling the way she felt but he wasn’t gonna believe a bunch of rumours if he didn’t know the truth for himself, including the ones about Kendall that Perrie seemed to be the only person who knew of them. So for the time being, he pretended like he hadn’t heard anything about either Zayn or Perrie and would remain indifferent but still observant of whatever rumours he heard.

 

 

Zayn’s rumours were pretty self-explicative. Huge slut, uses people for sex. Louis couldn’t say that one was hard to believe.

 

 

“Social construct?” he repeats, glossing over the Kendall slander. Perrie nods.

 

 

“Yes. The social construct of Wellington. It’s like a food chain. Popular kids on top, losers on the bottom.”

 

 

“And, Kendall is on top I assume?” Louis guesses looking at Zayn, who shrugs nonchalantly.

 

 

He of course doesn’t seem to care.

 

 

“Of course she is. She’s a ‘celebrity’. And she made sure I stayed on the bottom.” Perrie says, slumping further down into the beanbag chair. Louis is still looking at Zayn with a bit of a twinkle in his eye.

 

 

“And where are you on this social construct?” He asks and Zayn shrugs again.

 

 

“Don’t know, don’t care.” He says simply.

 

 

“He’d probably be at the top if he gave a shit.” Perrie adds but Zayn rolls his eyes.

 

 

“Seriously? Why should anyone give a shit about social constructs? It isn’t real. You’re just feeding into the bullshit you claim society gives you by even _thinking_ about it. None of this shit is gonna mean anything when we leave high school. We’ll probably never see anyone in Wellington ever again after next year cause we’ll all be moving on with our fucking lives. So sorry I don’t waste my time obsessing over nonsense fantasy worlds where anyone actually gives a damn about what _models_ think and actually give any more of a damn about what other people’s opinion of my life are.”

 

 

Louis nods in semi-agreement with that perspective even though Perrie rolls her eyes and writes Zayn off as being ‘fake deep’.

 

 

“And where do you think I’d rank on this social food chain?” He asks curiously.

 

 

Perrie takes a moment to look him over.

 

 

“Well, you’re a genius but not the dorky kind. You have style. You’re cultured, super gay - in both senses of kissing boys and being very happy…” Perrie lists off some of his qualities.

 

 

Louis is glad she didn’t name his lack of “faggoty” attributes a good thing like Eleanor. People around here are way too comfortable calling people slurs because of their assumed sexuality.

 

 

“You’re a cis-white male,” Zayn adds and Louis laughs.

 

 

“Is this tumblr?”

 

 

“You’d be surprised how far that gets you in the world. Even being mixed race was a fucking nightmare in my childhood.” Zayn counters.

 

 

“Obviously my mum is white and my dad’s pakistani. _Still_ got called a terrorist and a towel head in primary regardless and got into all kind a fights back home in before I moved here. Most were racially charged.”

 

 

Zayn looks at Perrie then.

 

 

“The difference between me and you is, I stopped giving a shit. No one bothers someone who doesn’t give a shit.”

 

 

“The difference between _you and I_ is, you started _fucking_ the people called you a terrorist in primary.” Perrie shoots back at him.

 

 

“Anyways,” Zayn rolls his eyes, looking back up at Louis.

 

 

“Your best quality here that’ll get you the _farthest_ on this beach is obviously the fact that you’re very _attractive_.” he sits up straight and pulls Louis in between his bent legs.

 

 

Zayn’s legs seemed like they went on for days.

 

 

“Maybe you’d rank higher than Kendall if you stayed here long enough.”

 

 

“Where?” Louis says looking around, “Here in your bed?”

 

 

Zayn shakes his head.

 

 

“Yeah, we haven’t even _started_ on that yet…” he says in a low voice, eyes flitting down to Louis lips.

 

 

“Oh my god!” Perrie suddenly shouts, standing up quickly which makes Louis jump, probably for good reason since he was 2 seconds away from kissing Zayn… again. They both look at Perrie who is grinning widely at Louis.

 

 

“You could ABSOLUTELY obliterate Kendall, socially” She says excitedly.

 

 

“THAT’S why she did that!”

 

 

Louis and Zayn both look at each other with quirked eyebrows.

 

 

“Just think about it.” Perrie continues when they look at her.

 

 

“You’ve been here, what, two days? And I’ve heard people already talking about you and Zayn, who she is terrified of btw. Why else would she want to add you to _her_ clique? She can’t have the masses raving over someone who isn’t her.” Perrie looks at Louis like she’s seeing gold.

 

 

“You’d be _perfect_.”

 

 

Louis definitely didn’t like where this was heading.

 

 

“I know I’m new and all so I don’t know how things exactly work here yet but I don’t think obliterating Kendall Jenner socially is at the top of my list of things I can do.” He says honestly.

 

 

“Oh, don’t sell yourself short, Louis. Of course you can! You’ve already got the look and personality. All you need is a few tips and inside knowledge from the right people.” Perrie assures him but Louis shakes his head slowly.

 

 

“That’s not what I meant.”

 

 

When Perrie pulls a face of bemusement, Zayn sighs and speaks up for him.

 

 

“Pez, I think what Lou is trying to say is he doesn’t _want_ to obliterate anyone, which… I don’t really blame him for. Play with fire and you get what?”

 

 

Louis gives Zayn a thankful look at that because, hell no Louis didn’t want to obliterate anyone. Especially Kendall. He didn’t need to go around making enemies because of a feud he wasn’t even involved with and he certainly wasn’t about to add to the drama. Perrie was gonna have to find someone else for her revenge.

 

 

The subject is dropped entirely after that as they moved on from any further talk about Kendall.

 

 

Louis liked spending time with them aside from that, flirting shamelessly with Zayn and laughing with Perrie. He agreed he’d tell Perrie if he learns something scandalous about Kendall but other than that, he wasn’t getting involved with the social constructs of Wellington. He was with Zayn on the whole thing. He didn’t need social status. This was high school.

 

 

Part of Zayn’s wall grafitti reads, _“Skate fast, eat ass,”_ above an old skateboard against his wall. Louis thinks that’s a pretty damn good motto for here.

 

 

He stayed for dinner at the Malik’s along with Perrie, who actually lived right next door. Zayn watched him with his little sister, smiling whenever he made her laugh. Trish scolds both Waliyha and Louis once they start throwing peas at each other, looking at Louis fondly. He fit right in.

 

 

Later, Zayn drives him home as the sun is setting, driving below the speed limit on an empty road while some soft-plaid [ acoustic song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8lZ4jqjt_c) flowed from his stereo, volume so low, Louis just barely notices it as it sounds like it might be playing from another room, how music sounds when you’re walking down the street at night and hear music in the distance from a club in the London underground.

 

 

It’s not low enough for Louis not to hear that it’s about car sex. Attainable, in this vehicle especially.

 

 

Zayn had an old, blue pickup truck that Louis thought was a little unexpected. He pictured Zayn driving a mustang or a motorbike. Something badass and smoothe. But when he seen the truck, he suddenly couldn’t picture Zayn driving anything else. The thought of them making out in the back of it was too perfectly obtainable not to imagine.

 

 

He feels like there’s gonna be a lot of that this year as he watches the clouds glide by over the darkening beach, riding the gentle curves of his street now.

 

 

Louis laughs to himself at that thought as the lyrics on the stereo cloud his thoughts.

 

 

 _‘Speedin' down the backstreet_ _  
_ _I'm tryna get you in my backseat_ _  
_ _…._  
Baby ride on me’

 

 

“What?” Zayn asks, smirking while watching the road ahead of him.

 

 

“Nothing.” Louis says, shaking his head at how sneaky Zayn was as he stares out the window.

 

 

Well, not so sneaky or subtle at all. Very blunt actually. Everything he says and does has a purpose. Even the strategically placed music.

 

 

“I just like the truck.”

 

 

Zayn smiles

 

 

“Everyone likes the truck. Lots of comfy spaces.” He says, wiggling his eyebrows obnoxiously. Louis laughs as they pull up to his house.

 

 

“Do you always do that?” He asks, as he looks over at Zayn, who tilts his head like he doesn’t know what Louis’ talking about.

 

 

“Do what?”

 

 

“You _know_ what. That thing you do, meaning something different with everything you say without actually saying it.” Louis narrows his eyes at him and Zayn shrugs.

 

 

“I dunno. Do you like it?”

 

 

Louis stares at him for a long moment. He honestly didn’t mind if that was where this was going. He just didn’t want it to happen and then all of the sudden after they’re done “having fun,”… he’s Liam. Never getting so much as a _glance_ from Zayn ever again.

 

 

“I’ve just heard stuff about you is all.” Louis opts out of answering the question. “I was thinking maybe I’m falling for the same trick as everyone else around here.”

 

 

Zayn tilts his head slightly which makes Louis look at the faint love bite on his neck again, as if to emphasise Louis’ point.

 

 

“Oh, you don’t believe that do you?” He asks. Louis just looks at his neck pointedly.

 

 

Even if Louis didn’t want to think about the stuff he’d been hearing about him, the bruise there was a pretty clear telling of what Zayn does in his free time. Someone who was known for being able to seduce anyone for fun, showing so much interest in Louis made it pretty easy to guess what his intentions were. Zayn pouts his lip out, frowning exaggeratedly as if he can hear what Louis is thinking.

 

 

“Well, if you’ve been listening you’d know I’d’ve fucked you and disappeared by now if that was true.” He says, the first blunt thing he’s said today. It makes Louis choke on the hot air in the car. Zayn looks at him seriously then.

 

 

“You’re not the same as everyone else around here Loueh. We’re _friends._ I like you.”

 

 

“Why?” Louis shakes his head a little now, seriously. Zayn doesn’t get offended by Louis questioning his motives right now as he turns ahead with his ringed fingers still gripping the wheel while his other hand smoothes back his hair.

 

 

“Well… I don’t really have a lot of friends here,” He starts now, seriously. Louis keeps a mental note at the “here” part, meaning Zayn _does_ have other friends besides Perrie, just maybe not on this beach.

 

 

“Most of the people here are posers. There’s always something to gain out of who they associate with. You don’t want or need anything from me or anyone else in this school. There’s nothing to gain out of anything and no ulterior motive. You don’t follow a crowd. Or can’t anyways. You’re… original. And I fuck with that.” He looks at Louis now and his expression is so earnest, Louis can tell he isn’t saying that as a joke or innuendo.

 

 

He means it genuinely, which makes Louis’ stomach warm up. He doesn’t even have to assure Louis of his character for him to know Zayn doesn’t really use people for his own gain. That seems to go against his very nature.

 

 

“I like you too.” he says “And Perrie.”

 

 

Zayn brightens at that in surprise before smiling.

 

 

“Well, that’s good. She comes off a little… intense to most people.”

 

 

Louis couldn’t say he didn’t see why.

 

 

“I know what you’re thinking ‘ _you can see why’_ but, once you get to know her, you’ll get used to it. Maybe even understand it.” Zayn says, as if he could actually read Louis’ mind.

 

 

“And I know you’ve heard the things people say about her so I’m just gonna tell you now that most of it isn’t true. Yeah, she got sent to a psychiatric unit for a while but not for the reason you think. It was because of Kendall. She really fucked her over back then. And it kinda did ruin her life. She wasn’t always so defensive and paranoid.”

 

 

Louis’ never been in the closet before but he couldn’t even imagine how he’d handle being outed to his entire school would be if he was. He’s not even sure if Perrie is actually a lesbian but, he resists the urge to ask more about it as Zayn looks far away for a moment until Louis puts his hand over his softly, bringing Zayn back down from wherever he just was. He looks back up at Louis.

 

 

“You’re alright Zayn,” He smile “You don’t have to tell me everything. I believe you.”

 

 

“I just don’t want you to think she’s crazy or anything. I mean… she kind of is, but not in the psychotic way they make it out like.”

 

 

“Seriously,” Louis nods “I get it. You don’t have to explain.”

 

 

Zayn sighs in relief at that.

 

 

“Alright then.”

 

 

Silence falls over them as they stare at each other in the dark of Zayn’s truck for a moment. That palpable thing he wouldn’t say is chemistry or lust between them that’s been sitting in the back of the truck this entire time invites itself into the moment.

 

 

It’s not hot sex but rather something a bit smaller as Louis’ eyes trail down to Zayn’s lips.

 

 

He’s been thinking about kissing him again all day. Now, they were alone without judging, nosy eyes. So, he does.

 

 

He leans in and Zayn stays perfectly still, closing his eyes as Louis brushes his thin lips up against his own. It’s kind of sweet and very brief. Not too much heat at all attached to it but not totally innocent either.

 

 

It’s a test.

 

 

Zayn doesn’t take advantage of anything. He doesn’t try to slip any tongue in or even touch Louis at all as his hands stay on the wheel and Louis’ suspicion is confirmed.

 

 

Zayn puts on a show for people to see.

 

 

Louis knew he’d seen Tom taking pictures of the field. He definitely knew he’d take pictures of them making out as heavily as they were. Now, since no one is here to watch them be indecent, Zayn keeps it innocent. He doesn’t spread rumours himself but he helps his own spread on purpose. Because Louis’ noticed that almost everything Zayn does has a purpose. Right now, there’s no audience so there is no real purpose.

 

 

Despite Louis’ brief evaluation of this moment and what that means for his view of the small crack he’s seen in the mystery of what’s Zayn’s purpose in doing what he does, it’s a _perfect_ goodbye kiss.

 

 

“Bye.” Louis whispers, pulling away.

 

 

Zayn nods as he jumps out of the truck then walks up to his house. He doesn’t pull off until Louis is inside touching a finger to his lips with a small smile before shaking his head lightly and driving home.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

At the Tomlinson household, Louis tells his parents all about his new friends and NHS and meeting Kendall Jenner. They’re very happy for him, as always, despite him coming home so late. He ends the night watching reality TV alone after everyone else goes to sleep, feeling his lips and smiling giddily. This day couldn’t have gone more perfect, he thinks, happy and content with what awaited him tomorrow.

 

 

Later on that night, he found himself in another one of his strange dreams where he’s flying over the beach with his partner again. Except this time, he sees it’s a boy. It’s not Tom or Zayn or Brad Pitt but curly haired boy with tears in his eyes from his laughs of joy.

 

 

A beautiful boy called Harry. For some reason, Louis finds himself more excited in seeing him again more than anything else he could dream of.

 

 

Today really was perfect.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

Back at the Malik house, Zayn’s sister Doniya comes into his room in the middle of the night when he’s still awake, lying in bed as he pressed more flowers over some lyrics to an old song he’d written a year ago.

 

 

His fingers prodded the silver band on his ring finger after he’s taken off the rest that covered it, a little promise ring with the letters _LP_ engraved inside of it.

 

 

“Hey.” She murmurs, sitting on his bed, peeking at the words on the page his fingers are pressing a purple lily into.

 

 

She only gets a glimpse at the title.

 

 

 _“I Won’t Mind?”_ she reads outloud.

 

 

 

“I won’t mind what?”

 

 

Zayn immediately folds it in so she can’t see the rest, glaring at her as he slams his song journal closed, full of hundred of more words to hundreds of unfinished and finished songs with hundreds of old flowers pressed into each word.

 

 

“Can I help you?” he says coolly, but Doniya only smiles.

 

 

“So… Louis is really nice. And funny.” She starts casually. Zayn rolls his eyes.

 

 

“Yeah. He’s great.” he huffs.

 

 

“Kind of reminds me of someone.” she quirked her eyebrows at Zayn, who snickers.

 

 

“Yeah, he reminds me of a lot of people.”

 

 

“Wali really liked him.” She adds, and Zayn nods in agreement.

 

 

“She seemed pretty attached to him already.” She goes on/ Waliyha was already obsessed with Louis and she didn’t even want him to leave.

 

“Probably because he’s got 5 little sisters of his own so he knows how to handle them.”

 

 

“Or maybe he reminds them of someone too. Same with mummy.”

 

 

Zayn doesn’t say anything to that. She was probably right, especially since Zayn hasn’t had any friends over aside from Perrie in over a year. Not any that they seen anyways. They got a little excited when Zayn shared something with them that he’d usually keep private.

 

 

Doniya was the only person that Zayn didn’t keep too many secrets from. Or _couldn’t_ rather. It’s not that he told her everything. She just usually figured things out on her own cause she was weird like that. It's probably a twin thing. Fraternal twins although, most people mistake them for being identical all the time. It's not just because they look exactly alike in the face. It's mostly because it's easy to overlook the fact that Zayn is a boy.

 

For the most part, Zayn was honest with her whenever she asked him anything but he never offered to talk on his own.

 

 

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” She asks him.

 

 

“I dunno.” Zayn shrugs.

 

 

There’s a moment of silence before she adds,

 

 

“He’s pretty cute too.”

 

 

Zayn snorts at that. Doniya smiles, as she stands up

 

 

“I hope we see him some more. You haven’t had a _guy_ friend in a while.” Doniya chooses her words carefully but Zayn still rolls his eyes.

 

 

“I know what you’re getting at and it’s not like how it was before. Lou’s not in love with me… okay? We just met randomly and he didn’t know his way around yet so he walked around with us throughout most of the day. That’s. All.”

 

 

Doniya puts her hands up innocently.

 

 

“I’m not trying to get at anything. I just saw a few pictures of the two of you and I didn’t want to _assume_ anything--”

 

 

“Then don’t. I don’t need you thinking you know shit just like everyone else.”

 

 

“Zayn,” she sighs “You know I don’t. I’m just saying he seems really nice and we like him so it’d be kind of disappointing to everyone if he suddenly stopped coming around like Lia-”

 

 

“I get it!” Zayn snaps suddenly, and Doniya stops, pushing too close on the line.

 

 

“I get it.” He says again, sighing calmly “Seriously… he’s _leaving_ next year. Forever. We’re officially _never_ gonna see each other again and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. We don’t _need_ to see each other ever again. So they don’t need to see him either. It was so fucking unhealthy, I can’t stressed enough to you how fucked up our relationship became. I’m _bad_ for him. He has a future without me. It’s better this way.”

 

 

Doniya doesn’t argue with that even though she’s spent the last year arguing with Zayn about what he did to Liam. Even though she gets _why,_ she doesn’t think it’s right. But it’s really late and she didn’t come up here to fight with Zayn.

 

 

“You’re still wearing it.” She nods to his hand wear his promise ring is. Zayn squeezes his hand closed as he looks up at Doniya.

 

 

“It’s not like that this time. Louis is not my boyfriend, I promise. I’m sure you’d figure it out on your own anyways if it was anything else.”

 

 

“You are probably correct on that last one.” She says, backing away when Zayn glares at her.

 

 

“Okay, I’ll leave you alone. Just thought I’d drop in to give you my wisdom.”

 

 

“ _What wisdom_ ” he mutters under his breath. Doniya pokes her head back into the door.

 

 

“I heard that.” She warns.

 

 

“I know.” He says back smugly as she closes the door. Sometimes he thinks his sisters thought they knew a little too much for their own good, and that included Perrie.

 

 

When she finally leaves, he opens his journal again and rips the page out and throws it away, opening a flask at his desk so he swallows a tablet of prozac he washes down with whiskey, continuing to drink himself to sleep. He’d never get there any other way and this was a particularly rough night to be at home, completely sober and weeping away at old memories that he needs to stop revisiting.

 

 

There was a clock ticking in his wall that showed him the countdown to his own personal apocalypse next year. He only had a few months left before time ran out for him to secure his own getaway off this beach. Where to? He doesn’t even care anymore. As long as he got as far away from his past as he could, he’d didn’t mind where he ended up next year.

 

 

Whether it’s out of this city or into the next life, he wouldn’t mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next will span over a few weeks time frame as Louis meets Liam and NHS and spends more time getting socialised (Louis and Harry povs).
> 
> (The next chapter after will have actual Zayn and Liam screen time together for more than 2 seconds from both of their perspectives, I promise!)
> 
> lol I just realised you have no idea who Louis or anyone else is gonna end up with or if it'll be romantic or platonic in the end at this point. I'll just leave this now by saying it will not be the same as the movie counterparts but this is only chapter 6 a.k.a. day 2 of this so it's much too early to try to guess yet. We still have to meet Liam and his clique :)


	7. vi. Getting Socialised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry tries to find a solution to his problem. Meanwhile, Louis learns more about his new friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys like longer chapters or shorter? This one is shorter.

 

 

 

 

**Harry Pov**

 

 

**_Wednesday_ **

 

 

The next day, Harry wakes up from the same dream as the previous night, only this time it isn’t some distorted figure he’s flying with.

 

 

It’s Louis.

 

 

It was Louis the whole time and he almost thinks it means something that he dreamed about him before he even met him. Or just a really strange coincidence.

 

 

He believes it means they were meant to be friends. One of those strange instances of being to draw to someone through an unseen connection.

 

 

Yesterday when he first met him, he was so nervous to speak to him, he thought he was gonna be sick. Like the moment of a long-awaited destiny was crashing together all at once and if he failed, it would be great.

 

 

_‘Okay, super dramatic Styles.’_

 

 

He shakes his head at himself in the mirror as he brushes his teeth.

 

 

He actually didn’t know why he was so nervous when he saw him in person. It just seemed like he’d been waiting to meet someone and when the moment finally arrived, one fuck up really would ruin something great.

 

 

Louis was pretty great. Just like in his dream, he left Harry feeling light on his shoulders.

 

 

He only knows it was Louis the first time because of the eyes.

 

 

The first thing he noticed about Louis was how warm and bright his smile was, and that his eyes matched his smile perfectly and he looked just as foreign as his mother.

 

 

Thinking about all that warmth made his heart feel like it wasn’t aching so badly anymore. Like maybe he was just imagining how much it actually hurt. Exaggerating it. Kind of like when you watch a scary movie as a kid and think it’s the scariest thing in the world until you’re older and watch it again and realise it isn’t scary at all.

 

 

Regardless of how much it really hurt, he still wakes to feel just as empty as usual, ticking away.

 

 

He got so high last night, his memory was completely gone today. He knows he needs to lay off the meds but, feeling everything else becomes so unbearable, he doesn’t even know what he feels half the time, he just wants it gone.

 

 

He wakes up as the same old lonely Harry who’s moped around for so long, he doesn’t even know why anymore.

 

 

He goes to school and ticks away. Watches the cheerleader's practice in the morning like usual, ticks some more. Runs his own laps up and down the field when they leave. More ticks. Attend class like normal and observe the people all around him, just like he does every single day so he can go home and get fucked up until he explodes. Patch himself back up in the morning.

 

 

Repeat.

 

 

The dreaded monotony of him makes him think about being up on that ledge where he’ll break it one day. The one he always says he’ll jump from but never does. It’s always a suggestion in the back of his mind.

 

 

_Break. Jump._

 

 

Break the monotony permanently. End the ticking for good. Throw his tiresome self away and finally find peace.

 

 

A million stories on that roof, all down to one final crash at the bottom. The last explosion at the very bottom, the last story of his life to mark the finality of him.

 

 

He watches people laughing with friends, gossiping, discussing some drama that happened on twitter last night, just doing general things as normal teenagers do. And then there’s Harry, watching it like a movie. He knows he’s not a part of the same life they’re living. He doesn’t really want to be apart of the life they’re living, and that ache inside him throbs a little.

 

 

_‘What’s wrong with me?’_

 

 

“Hey, I’m sorry about the other day. No hard feelings right?” Zayn’s voice breaks Harry out of his trance as his eyes focus on him, standing in front of where Harry has been blankly staring in the direction of the rest of the student council.

 

 

Zayn’s wearing blue contacts today that make him look like an alien from a planet of supermodels, accompanied with 4 pretty white and pale pink barrette clips shaped like flowers and pearls. The kind of hair clips that little girls usually use to hold their hair together, lined along the side of his black waves, pulled back into a bun.

 

 

He always somehow makes stuff like that look less weird and quirky but more just very _Zayn-_ esque.

 

 

Barrettes in his hair. The smell of flowers permeating his general area. The look of a haircut needed maybe 2 years ago but, no, because then he’d look like someone else. Harry thinks there’s even a sprinkle of glitter along his cheekbone, highlighting dominant parts of his face that are soft.

 

 

These are the things that always confuse people when they see Zayn. Entrance you into forgetting the difference between what you’d consider boyish or girly. Because it’s neither on him.

 

 

It’s just Zayn.

 

 

Ever the effeminate demon boy.

 

 

“Yeah, of course,” Harry says quickly, internally shaking himself out of where he just was, rubbing his neck sheepishly now.

 

 

Zayn doesn’t smirk at the awkward moment of Harry fact-checking his sexuality he always has to do around Zayn. Although, after what Zayn said he saw when Harry was drunk, he’s been fact-checking his sexuality way more than he thinks he’s ever thought of lately.

 

 

“I’m sorry for being such a dick. It was none of my business.”

 

 

Zayn nods once with a flat mouth.

 

 

“Yeah, it _wasn’t_.” He agrees flatly. “Let’s just forget the whole thing, yeah?”

 

 

Harry nods, the matter not really forgotten, of course. There are too many loose ends to be forgotten, and they both know that but, they move on for now. They had actual work to get done on the council.

 

 

There was a winter formal coming up soon they had to organise for the homecoming committee to host. All the flyers and tickets were made. They had to make sure the tickets made it to the committee to hand out so no one could counterfeit them and rip everyone off

 

 

The rules were now that everyone had to pay cash and only the committee was allowed to have copies.

 

 

They didn’t always have to take this many precautions but, last year was absolute insanity for the council. They had to watch out for people like their local scam artist, Michael Crook A.K.A. Crooked Mikey.

 

 

Mikey’s here on a tech scholarship so, he’s pretty handy with hacking and scamming anyone he wants. Last year, there was an epidemic of credit card fraud that left half the school fucked over. Every finger pointed at Mikey but he still got away with it under his anonymous alias no one can prove is him.

 

 

Paying in cash helped a bunch but, they still had to be careful. Playing around with other’s people’s money like that equals lots of lawsuits and lots of police investigations and they really would rather not have a repeat of last year.

 

 

Mikey’s evil laughter still echoes through the halls like the Joker.

 

“Are you going to Leigh-Anne's party? It’s next Saturday.” Jade asks once all the council members come together for their meeting.

 

 

Not everyone was going to this one.

 

 

It wasn’t just Harry that was laying off the partying for a while. After the anti-climatic party at Kendall’s place on Saturday, people weren’t as eager to jump right into the scene again, even if Leigh’s party was a few weeks away.

 

 

Raging just wasn’t as appealing to a lot of people on this side of town anymore. Like they were losing a trend to something more appealing in the city.

 

 

Harry thinks it’s taken everyone far too long to realise they’ve been paying a thousand pounds for a white t-shirt worth 10.

 

 

“I don’t know. Stuff around here's beginning to be a bit of a drag, isn’t it? Most people go across town to Cooley for parties now.” Glen says conversationally.

 

 

“Hell, they’re _free_.”

 

 

“Nothing new ever happens here. People are bound to get bored. How many times can you party and fuck with the same old people?” Kevin adds, and everyone agrees.

 

 

“Not same old.” Andy disagrees.

 

 

“There’s that one new kid. I forget his name.” Andy tries to think now.

 

 

“Lewis.” Zayn answers for him.

 

 

Harry immediately comes to after zoning out at the mention of that name from Zayn because he knows he’s talking about _Louis._

 

 

He listens attentively to the gossip now.

 

 

“Lewis, oh my God I think he tried to talk to me a few days ago. Isn’t he kind of short? Wears designer clothes?” Jade asks, and Zayn nods.

 

 

“Yeah, he’s apparently pretty wealthy,” Zayn says, insouciantly.

 

 

“And he’s _not_ that short.” He adds almost defensively. Harry snorts. Zayn’s about the same height as Louis. No, they’re not that short for the average person their age but everyone is a little short to Harry.

 

 

“He’s a _prick_ is what he is.” Stan huffs next to Jade as they all launch into all gossip they’ve heard about the new kid.

 

 

 _He’s French_.

 

 

 _He’s rich_.

 

 

_He lives in the Ritz._

 

 

The average crazy rumours that probably aren’t true.

 

 

But Harry can’t help soaking in every word of it. The way they talk about him reminds him of the book he’s reading in lit, _Gatsby._

 

 

Always had some false rumour about his origin and background, always a mystery to the public eye.

 

 

He’s biting back his tongue, full of questions about this new guy he’d only spoke to once.

 

 

Harry feels like he pretty much knows everything about him after their brief chat yesterday but he finds himself craving to know more. How’d he get the small scar on the side of his chin? What’s his favourite movie or book? What's he do for fun? What’s it like coming from the less fucked up outside world?

 

 

Stupid stuff Harry doesn’t know why he’s even thinking about as his brain falls into a gutter of Louis Tomlinson.

 

 

How’s _Zayn_ know him? How _much_ did Zayn know about him? Are they, like, a thing? Is he going to Leigh’s party?

 

 

He keeps quiet and listens to the rest of the council gossiping about him, especially listening to Zayn who seems to know everything.

 

 

“I don’t think he’s French…” Zayn shoots down the first rumour. Harry almost blurts that he lived in France but he buttons his lips, not adding anything to the discussion.

 

 

“I heard he’s gay,” Andy says

 

 

“He is.” Zayn of course answers and that was… interesting.

 

 

Louis didn’t mention that. Not that he _had_ to. Harry briefly wonders why he didn’t now.

 

 

“I wonder if he knows Tom?” Jade murmurs and Harry rolls his eyes.

 

 

“Just because he’s gay doesn’t mean he knows all other gay people here.” He finds himself saying, annoyed which earns him curious looks from a few people as Harry rarely ever joins in on group discussions.

 

 

Zayn smirks in his direction now and Harry hates this look from Zayn. Like he _knows_ something no one else does. Even if Harry knows he kind of does, this look makes him blush pretty hard.

 

 

“That’s not what I meant, touchy...” Jade says back at him, “I just seen him with Kendall today. That’s all.”

 

 

Harry feels his throat close up.

 

 

Louis and _Kendall?_ That couldn’t be right.

 

 

More importantly… _him and Tom?_

 

 

He tells himself he only cares because he knows Niall’s not gonna like that.

 

 

Tom doesn’t ever hang out with any other boy but Niall but he still tended to be a jealous freak at times with how much time Tom spends shooting Kendall.

 

 

Now that Harry thinks about it, there’s never actually been another out guy at this school but Tom. It was almost like he had no choice when it came to Niall.

 

 

Now, there’s suddenly _options._

 

 

Yeah, Niall definitely wasn’t gonna like hearing about this if Louis is hanging out with the socialites. Who’s rich enough to hang with them anyways?

 

 

“And his GPA as high as Payno.” Andy adds to the chatter as Harry zones back into the present again, hearing them _still_ talking about Louis.

 

 

“He’s joining NHS.” Zayn supplies and Harry can’t take it anymore

 

 

“How do you know all this?” He blurts suddenly. They all look at him like he’s crazy, except for Zayn who just smirks at him again.

 

 

“Sorry,” Harry dimmers “‘S just, he’s been here for like, less than a week.”

 

 

Zayn shrugs sideways, kicking a chair over that he hooks the end of his boot on to drag closer to him and prop up his feet over each other casually.

 

 

“Word around here moves pretty swiftly. I guess the kid gets around.” He says with a cheeky wink after his smooth movement has everyone staring at him now.

 

 

It’s so rare that he’s even here, walking into the room gets him attention anyways. But even if he was here consistently, everyone still looks at how he just does _nothing_ but makes it so effortlessly _hot,_ which makes Harry roll his eyes, looking away from Zayn’s stupid smirk, wishing he’d go back to forgetting he’s in high school.

 

 

The conversation moves on to other matters that are more council related but all Harry could think about now was Louis.

 

 

He was definitely intrigued by everything he heard throughout the day about him, and Harry was the last person to pay attention to the gossip. But it was impossible.

 

 

 _Everyone_ was talking about him like he was famous or something.

 

 

_I heard the new guy moved here from AFRICA._

 

 

_I saw Lewis wearing a Chanel bomber, he’s RICH._

 

 

It was such a strange fascination. Like a new hot trend walked into Wellington 3 days ago and the public was already hopping on the fad train, following after the scent of fresh meat on the beach like the hungry sharks they all were.

 

 

Harry’s suddenly feeling like a shark too, joining the group pack in the swarm towards their new object of speculation.

 

 

When Louis shows up in calc Harry is almost too eager to greet him.

 

 

He’s dressed in red wine, that same Chanel jacket Lissa had a few days ago.

 

 

 _Zayn’s_ jacket.

 

 

“Hey!” He chirps, uber bright when Louis sits down next to him, throwing the scent of fresh flowers into Harry’s face.

 

 

He even _smells_ like Zayn right now.

 

 

Louis returns his smile, equally delighted to see Harry.

 

 

“Hel- _lo_.” He says, a little slowly, surprising Harry with his tone.

 

 

He was just as bright as the day before only today, he seemed to have something different in his eye. Like a sparkling glint that Harry finds kind of alluring.

 

 

Obviously, all this talk has him feeling himself a little more today.

 

 

“So you’re the new Mr. Popular.” Harry jokes. Louis tilts his head sideways at him suspiciously.

 

 

 _“Harry,”_ he tuts with one eye squinted, “Have you been listening to rumours about me?”

 

 

Harry smiles, easily telling that Louis is only joking even though… Harry’s not.

 

 

“Well, I couldn’t really help it. You’re like in with the in-crowd.”

 

 

“I guess so. It’s only my 3rd day here and I’ve already got Kendall Jenner’s number. Score one for a guy, right?” Louis laughs.

 

 

Harry tenses at the mention of his ex from him, who he’s been avoiding again since he’s still not sure if he drunkenly slept with her or not and really wasn’t down with finding out anytime soon.

 

 

Also, the fact that Louis is talking about her as if he’s planning on asking her out or something is really fucking weird, _considering_...

 

 

Maybe the rumours are all wrong and Zayn doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about. Sure, there was a picture of them out by the fields yesterday but, they were just smoking.

 

 

The possibility of Louis and Kendall together bothers him just as much as the thought of him and Tom. He’s not sure if it’s because he’s not over her or what but, he’d rather not talk about Kendall with Louis.

 

 

He only nods without commenting further, unsure of how to respond to Louis’ admission as class starts. He’s gonna try to pay attention to the lesson instead.

 

 

He’s horrible at calc. It was probably his worst subject.

 

 

Niall was supposed to be helping him study but they’d either end up playing computer games or Niall would be off at the skatepark or _Tom_ would somehow end up at Harry’s house too and Niall would forget the books entirely, promising Harry they’d start studying later.

 

 

His grades were still suffering regardless and Coach Grimmy warned him that if he didn’t get his scores up by the end of this semester, he was off the team. And Harry didn’t take that warning lightly.

 

 

They took all violations seriously, no matter how minor they were.

 

 

If Harry missed getting a C average by even a point, it was over.

 

 

When Liam got into a fight in the middle of a game, he was thrown off the team almost immediately, _and he was their best player._ Of course, the circumstances were a bit different.

 

 

Liam also got charges pressed against him, an asbo and almost expelled from school but still. Harry wasn’t the best player on the team as it is so they definitely wouldn’t miss or suffer without him nor would they hesitate to kick him off if he didn’t meet the minimum G.P.A. requirements.

 

 

At the end of class, he says his goodbyes to Louis and heads straight off to find Liam as he fills his brain with actual priorities and not school gossip and not Louis related obsessed thoughts.

 

 

Finding a tutor.

 

 

Niall was a smart guy, and Harry loved him but that didn’t change the fact that he was a shit tutor. He needed to find a new one before it was too late and Liam was just the guy to help him out.

 

 

Harry finds him in the projection room above the auxiliary gym where they broadcasted the news.

 

 

The only people that came in here were nerds and tech geniuses.

 

 

In fact, most of the kids in broadcasting were also in NHS. It was typically where you’d find your valedictorian, Liam Payne, homeroom, during lunch, free periods and everything else in between, always slumped over on a desk with his vest thrown over his head, buried in mountains of school work.

 

 

Harry always found it kind of funny when Liam sits like this, with his blazer on top of his head. Cause Zayn has identical posture and mannerisms. It just reminds Harry of how married couples start picking up each other’s quirks from how much time the spend together and it makes him wonder which one of them did this pose originally belonged to.

 

 

“I don’t know Haz,” Liam says apologetically after Harry asks if anyone in NHS can tutor him.

 

 

He lifts up and leans back on his chair like he’s testing to see how far back it goes before he breaks his neck, also something Zayn does whenever he starts getting bored during a council meeting.

 

 

“Most of us are either preparing for the merit competition or doing other extracurricular stuff after school.” He gestures to the rest of the broadcasting crew, slewed around the small room, across desks and stretched out on the floor, drowning in stress and paperwork.

 

 

“I don’t really have time to do a lot of anything anymore. I’m retaking all my finals from last semester and getting extra credit afterwards.” Liam pointedly picks up the analytics textbook, specifically mechanics and special relativity, on his desk now, wiggling it in front of Harry.

 

 

Basically the class you take if you plan on getting senior math at an Ivy league university out of the way in high school that requires probably around 11 hours of work daily and 2 hours of sleep a week.

 

 

Basically: Liam can’t help Harry with shit as he is balls deep in _shit._

 

 

Harry slumps over. This was the worst thing about being friends with nerds. You could hardly ever hang out because they were always so bloody busy with _school_. The 5 of them all look so fucking stressed in this cramped room, he feels bad for even asking to basically waste their time and subsequently add to their stress.

 

 

“I kind of figured that but it was worth asking anyway.” He sighs

 

 

Liam gives him a small empathetic smile, taking his vest off his head so his fluffy dark hair falls over his forehead.

 

 

“I’ll still ask around though. Maybe someone can come over to yours and vice versa if you guys work it out?”

 

 

Harry nods although, he doesn’t have much hope for finding a tutor by now.

 

 

“Thanks anyway Li.” He says a little dejected as he goes off to his last classes.

 

 

He already had enough shit on his mind.

 

 

Football was one of the only outlets he had that helped him to unwind. If he gets kicked off the team, he almost certainly won’t play on his own time. That was just what he needed - more time on his own to drown in his ever persistent and intrusive thoughts.

 

 

He ends up cutting class and going to the field to jog around with a ball instead, running in circles up and down the field, kicking it into the net once before letting the ball roll past him, watching it go by into the empty miles of land surrounding him.

 

 

Instead of going after it, he lies on his back to stare back at the sky that’s been watching him play by himself.

 

 

The uncertainty of what’s to happen next relaxes him a little. He doesn’t know if the skies gonna fall on top of him and crush him or if he’ll spontaneously float off the ground and join the beach mist in flight through the air.

 

 

The uncertainty of what’s gonna happen when he’s kicked out of Wellington takes that relaxation away.

 

 

Maybe he’ll get into a car crash on the way home. Or win the lottery and cash out on a yacht. Or join a cult and change his name.

 

 

What’s the point in even dwelling on it? Maybe he should just let it happen. What’s the point in anything at all.

 

 

What’s more to this life than being young, alone and just barely 17? Maybe it’ll end here where he lays so he won't have to worry about anything anymore.

 

 

He closes his eyes to feel the crash. The ticking doesn’t end.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

**Louis pov**

 

 

After spending the entire school day walking around with Kendall Jenner, feeling like a proper rock star with all eyes on him, Louis goes to the NHS meeting after school.

 

 

Perrie and Zayn sneak around the corner outside after they’ve sent him off, making him laugh when they pose against the window like lovers holding each other, mocking the Venus of Love statue and the Cupid and Psyche recreation on the lawn that’s got roses surrounding it to make the school look sophisticated and fancy.

 

 

They run off as before the rest of NHS can see what Louis is laughing at out of the window.

 

 

There are currently only 6 members. Louis immediately becomes the 7th.

 

 

They only meet a few times a week. All they’d do was go over highly advanced mathematics, English Lit and history. The merit competition was in the spring so they had plenty of time to prepare for it.

 

 

It’s kind of crazy to think about how many exams they’re gonna be taking at the end of the year because of all those gorgeous scholarships that are just waiting for one of them to snag.

 

 

Louis found the workload pretty easy. Most of this stuff he’d already been over and could recite back verbatim. But he held back any chance he got to show off his knowledge.

 

 

It was his first time meeting Liam in his natural habitat and he didn’t want to come off as a show-off. He doesn’t need to go around making enemies or start rivalries.

 

 

Although, just like Harry said, Liam was extremely nice about the whole thing. _Too_ nice.

 

 

Almost to an unbelievable standard.

 

 

Liam admits it took him a while to grasp the concept of the possibility in not being considered valedictorian anymore as he’d been working at getting that title for most of his academic life but, it was mostly his mother’s wishes for him to get it, not really his. So, Liam gladly welcomed Louis to the club with “no hard feelings”.

 

 

Whoever won the grand prize, in the end, it would all be in fairness.

 

 

There’s undertones of tension in the way everyone watches Liam interact with Louis as they sit across from each other in a circle. With the amount of gossip that’s running around regarding he and Zayn _specifically_ , the elephant in the room is seen in clear view when they cross paths here.

 

 

Liam’s innocent resignation of “let the best man win” has a tad bit of a double entendre that this prize their both presumed to be interested in _isn’t_ just the chair for valedictorian.

 

 

If Louis’ being blunt… it’s the chair on Zayn Malik’s face.

 

 

Even with just that _subtle_ admission from Liam, Louis instantly sees that Liam isn’t as innocent or oblivious as people think he is. He might be a virgin, but his pure reputation doesn’t seem to line up with reality.

 

 

Louis grew up reading all kinds of books. Medical textbooks his mother had, magazines, encyclopedias, etc. retaining every last word of it deep in his memory. He’s pretty keen on human behaviour and body language and he knows a textbook definition liar when he sees one.

 

 

Like most people in the school, Louis notices that Liam is a liar.

 

 

He can’t totally hide his true feelings but he’s pretty good at making it believable. Like acting like he has nothing against Louis and he’s glad that he’s here. There’s a dark glint in his eye when he looks at Louis that almost goes unnoticed with his smile and friendly words accompanied with it.

 

 

He might smile in his face but, Louis can tell Liam doesn’t like him at all from the tension written all over his body from being forced to be nice to Louis.

 

 

Just like how he was forced to invite him here.

 

 

Obvious reasons are obvious.

 

 

The source of the tension couldn’t be more clear than if Louis were to walk around with the sign on his back that said _I’m fucking Zayn Malik._

 

 

The fact that he came to school wearing Zayn’s jacket doesn’t help those rumours at all, adding more fuel to the nonexistent flame of how he and Zayn were close enough to be borrowing clothes already…

 

 

No, Louis is not fucking Zayn. But no one knows that.

 

 

He’s keeping the uncertainty of it as ambiguous as possible.

 

 

Zayn already does that anyways. Louis doesn’t even see him in the halls at all. In fact, it would take _more_ effort for them to be seen together somewhere. Zayn’s lack of attendance is keeping their friendship discreet all on it’s own.

 

 

He’s not wearing this to incite gossip. He’s wearing it because he didn’t have anything of this brand and it’s got red in it.

 

 

It’s Wednesday. If he wanted to continue to hang around Kendall, he needed to follow her dress code.

 

 

Also… he’s keeping it discreet because if anyone finds out that Louis is actually hanging out with Zayn _and_ Perrie after school, the conflict of cliques will surely get him the _wrong_ kind of attention.

 

 

So for now, Louis isn’t gonna sway what anyone is currently thinking about he and Zayn. As long as no one knows the truth, he truly doesn’t care what anyone thinks. Not even Liam.

 

 

During the NHS meeting after introducing Louis to everyone, they go over the book they’re reading for literature, an interesting novel called The Great Gatsby by the famously handsome _F. Scott Fitzgerald._ This book intrigued Louis the most this entire day.

 

 

The concept was great.

 

 

A mysterious man throwing lavish parties in the hopes of his distant lover being a wanderess attracted to shiny objects like the rest of high society so they can have an affair behind her rich husband’s back.

 

 

Louis couldn’t love it more.

 

 

As they discuss it, half of NHS calls the debutante in the story a gold digger and the other half call her a scamming bitch.

 

 

Louis thinks they’re all wrong but he keeps his own interpretation of it to himself and he quietly reads ahead without them as they argue while he sits on top of a desk with his ankle draped over his knee, how his father sits when he’s reading the paper with a cup of coffee.

 

 

It’s rare that he’d call a woman a bitch. People throw those words around for the wrong reasons. The reasons typically being: because they’re women.

 

 

A woman who knows what she wants doesn’t make her a bitch. Being a bitch makes someone a bitch.

 

 

Nothing wrong with working your assets to your advantage. These men are getting just as much out of her as she is, if not more.

 

 

He doesn’t interpret a woman two rich guys are both using for their own gain as a gold digger. They’re each digging for the gold in her name and in between in her legs. They’re all using each other. She’s just smart about it. Her men are all financed, she made sure to marry a man on her level and she’s getting free dick while living her pretty life lovely.

 

 

He’s in _love_ with this premise so far.

 

 

It’s not romantic at all to him. It’s a life lesson even without the romantic context. He could seriously learn something from Daisy to be honest. Never letting a man play her for a fool and staying at the centre of their affection?

 

 

Genius.

 

 

The great thing about love triangles he’s learning from this book; it’s already hard enough being in love with one person. But if you’re the one the other two are in love with, you get to break _both_ their hearts.

 

 

Louis wants to be _that_ bitch.

 

 

It’s considered an American classic yet, he’s never even heard of it. He plans on taking the book home and reading it all tonight and taking some damn notes for himself.

 

 

They have a discussion about what the green light symbolises for Gatsby over glasses of sparkling strawberry rosé Sangrias - sans the alcohol - and Louis decides this is the character he finds the most uninteresting. They argue over interpretation, analysing the difference between being in love with someone or being in love with the _idea_ of someone like good, attentive students.

 

 

Until Mrs. Flack finally leaves for a break and everyone drops the act of giving a shit about this book as they instantly break into the ubiquitous gossip Wellington thrived on, splashing dashes of Brandy into their glasses now after Jade takes out a bottle stashed away in Flack’s desk.

 

 

Louis was getting very used to this by now. The gossiping and sipping of wine.

 

 

He passes up on a drink and zones out instead as they all talk, too buried in this intriguing book to pay attention to their activities that don’t involve discussing it.

 

 

He tries to imagine being so cool that he could throw a party and everyone in the ritz shows up just to say they came to his party.

 

 

He wants to be on that level of fabulous and iconic.

 

 

“So I heard that you and Tom are having problems with your… situation?” Jade says to Niall as soon as Flack leaves earshot as she sips from her flute with a sly smirk.

 

 

Niall frowns as everyone looks at him.

 

 

“Oooh,” Liam coos, teasing Niall, “Trouble in paradise?”

 

 

Everyone looks at Niall expectantly, including Louis as his eyes slowly glance up from his book with his chin laid in his hand, squishing one side of his cheek as he looks at Niall next to him.

 

 

Tom didn’t really talk about Niall at all so hearing Niall talk about him was going to be… interesting.

 

 

The closest Tom’s come to mentioning _anything_ about Niall was at lunch today when Louis asked him how he got his skin to glow the way it does. He told Louis it’s this facial he gets from this _“guy”_.

 

 

Louis assumed he wasn’t talking about a diamond cream facial from a dermatologist.

 

 

Tom and Louis don’t talk about boys, even though they hang around a bunch of girls. The girls do but, Tom doesn’t. So Louis didn’t either.

 

 

He picks up a very subtle, unspoken rule that, although Tom is the “GBF”, acknowledging that he’s gay is off the table of discussion for them.

 

 

Tom definitely has a boyfriend, Louis _thinks_. But he’s not allowed to actually talk about it.

 

 

He can talk about clothes and tell the girls if their silk-lined blazers are fugly or fabulous but he can’t talk about sex or politics or relationships like them. He can be a cute and nelly but, he can’t talk about stuff that would tell you he’s gay. Like it’s some forbidden thing to openly acknowledge.

 

 

So, Louis’ quiet observations about Tom are noted in the files of how things work around here. It seems as though Niall does not have the same rule in acknowledging Tom, strangely enough. Louis thought it would be the other way around.

 

 

He keeps it discreet as he watches how defensive Niall gets when he’s asked about Tom, a sign that says he may acknowledge _Tom_ but, not as his boyfriend.

 

 

“Me and Tom’s ‘situation’ is just fine, thanks.” He sneers with a sweet smile directed at both Jade and Liam, sitting close together crossed legged on the floor, Jade’s arm looped with Liam’s as they snicker together.

 

 

Louis notices that Liam doesn’t drink wine either.

 

 

They’ve apparently been best friends since they were babies so, Stan doesn’t ever blow a gasket over Liam touching Jade like that. Liam and Jade sort of remind Louis of Zayn and Perrie.

 

 

They were all in a small circle, Louis sitting on top of a desk with one leg propped over his knee so he can read, as well as Niall and Andy on either side of him while Sofia and Malcolm sit in chairs, turned backwards.

 

 

“That’s not what Tom’s been telling Lissa…” Jade sings but Niall dismisses her.

 

 

“You cheerleaders chat so much shit, it’s ridiculous.”

 

 

“The same shit you were attempting and failing to chat to her at Kendall’s party?” Jade asks, effectively shutting Niall up. When Liam laughs a little too hard at Niall’s roast, he throws his book at him, which Liam easily catches before it can hit his face, letting it dangle between his fingers as he drops it into his lap with a bright, toothy smile directed at Niall.

 

 

Louis has to admit, Liam was pretty damn hot himself.

 

 

He loves a boy in uniform but Liam’s tie is all tousled and hanging loosely around his neck while his shirt is untucked from his trousers, hair a little less put together from how much he brushes his hands through it when he’s interpreting literature.

 

 

Sleeves halfway rolled up to reveal an expensive silver watch on his wrist dangling lazily over his one bent knee and white smile to match his bling.

 

 

This relaxed swagger he’s got while keeping his preppy look is kind of unreal.

 

 

You can’t be super smart _and_ super hot, it’s unfair.

 

 

“I don’t know why you’re cackling. You weren’t having the best luck chatting up _Zayn_ at Kenny’s party either seeing he fucking left you passed out on the ground.” Niall says, scowling and Liam stops smiling now as he let’s go of Jade and brushes his hair back some more.

 

 

“Again with this...” He sighs as he shakes his head at the ground, dropping his knee now so his legs cross over like a pretzel on the ground.

 

 

“I’m not lying!” Niall cries, and Louis squints at them both as he closes his book now that they’ve got his full attention.

 

 

“Wait, did you say Zayn was at Kendall’s party?” He asks because he was sure Perrie told him they didn’t go. Liam nods, rolling his eyes as he looks at Louis now.

 

 

“Don’t listen to him.” he says with a sideways flat mouth as he points to Niall, who gives him the finger. He tosses the book back at Niall while still addressing Louis.

 

 

“He’s just trying to screw with my head by convincing me that Zayn said he wanks over me or some stupid bull because I was drunk but I’m not as gullible as you think.”

 

 

Niall throws it at him again but he easily dodges it as he bends forward, looking a Niall now after the book skirts over his head.

 

 

“Drunk or not, I think I’d remember if the guy I’ve been in love with since I was 10 said something like that to me. Z’d never say that to _anyone_. Tell a better lie.” Liam tuts at Niall, who throws his arms up in disbelief.

 

 

“You’re gonna learn not to dismiss everything I fucking say.”

 

 

They start arguing then but Louis is stuck on one thing as he freezes.

 

 

Did Louis really hear Liam say what he _thought_ he heard him say? No one else in the room bats an eye at Liam unabashedly admitting he’s _in love_ with Zayn.

 

 

“I’m not screwing with you! It’s not like Z randomly walked up to you and flat out said ‘Oh hey bean, did you know I jerk it thinking about you??’. You _asked_ if Z thought about and wanked over you and Zayn just nodded yes, along with a bunch of other crazy questions. Sat there, talking to you for ages. I swear.”

 

 

“Swear what?” Andy challenges him from Louis’ side.

 

 

“On my own life!”

 

 

Liam only continues to shake his head as he looks at Jade, who rolls her eyes with a smile.

 

 

“Fucking leprechauns.” Jade laughs along with Liam who looks at Louis now with a smile as he’s laughing.

 

 

“No one listens to leprechauns because they tend to talk in riddles.”

 

 

Louis laughs finally too as Niall’s face steams.

 

 

“I bet you listen if I threw a thick textbook in your fucking _face_. Would you hear me then?”

 

 

No one believes Niall.

 

 

Louis didn’t believe Niall either. He obviously loved fucking with people. Zayn wasn’t even at Kendall’s party. But more relevant topics, _shit_ Liam actually was in love with him and Zayn hadn’t spoke to him in over a year? That had to be rough.

 

 

“In love with Zayn, like, brotherly love or I want to fuck you love?” Louis asks him just to make sure he heard it correctly.

 

 

Who would just casually drop something like that?

 

 

Several people burst out laughing at how the way Louis phrasing that makes Liam’s cheeks bloom in pink, which makes Louis smile at Liam’s blushing.

 

 

“It’s a _we’re soulmates_ type of love.” Jade says dreamily.

 

 

 _“They had promise rings.”_ Andy whispers next to Louis, which Liam rolls his eyes at now.

 

 

“It wasn’t a fucking _promise ring--”_

 

 

 _“Right_ because Zayn screwed, like 1,000 people that summer--”

 

 

Liam reaches behind himself lightning fast and hurls the book back at Niall, who dodges it as he ducks down out of the way, laughing.

 

 

“ _It wasn’t a promise ring.”_ Liam sighs with stress across his forehead as his fingers press into his eyes in frustration.

 

 

“Z didn’t _promise_ me anything. I never expected anything in return. You wouldn’t understand that because you don’t understand what _loving_ someone means. Zayn doesn’t owe me anything.”

 

 

Jade winces a little at that back-handed slap. But Liam’s right.

 

 

Louis doesn’t care if he bought Zayn a 10 karat diamond ring. If he didn’t expect anything back from Zayn, then he really doesn’t owe Liam anything.

 

 

“Can you stop sucking Zayn's dick for 2 seconds and admit that the guy was wrong?” Niall says seriously.

 

 

“Z owes you an explanation. All the time you’ll never get back, wasted _._ You _did_ expect too much. Expecting anything at all from someone who doesn’t really give a fuck is expecting too much.” Niall finishes, earning himself a slap in the head from Andy as he reaches across Louis.

 

 

Louis frowns at Niall’s flippant disregard for sensitivity about this topic.

 

 

Liam doesn’t reply to him, his expression too unreadable to tell what he’s thinking. Whether he’s considering what Niall said, disagreeing with it or thinking about sucking Zayn’s dick, Louis really can’t tell what’s on his mind.

 

 

“So what happened to you guys?” Louis ventures now, pushing his book onto his lap to sit both his elbows on top and cradle his chin. Everyone looks at Liam now, except for Niall who rolls his eyes.

 

 

“Here we go…” He mutters but Jade hisses at him to shut up as she pushes his leg dangling off the desk.

 

 

Liam purses his lips tightly in a pause, another unreadable expression as it goes quiet, everyone waiting for his side of how things ended.

 

 

“I… honestly don’t know.”

 

 

Andy takes over for him. He and Jade have known Liam his entire life so, they actually seen the saga of his relationship with Zayn from start to finish.

 

 

“Think of it like if they were play dating for _forever_ when we were children and it got serious around like… year 9 or 10. The summer before before last, it was as if Zayn kind of dumped him out of nowhere.” He shrugs sheepishly. Liam looks up at him with a grimace

 

 

“It wasn’t _like that_ …we were just… just...”

 

 

“Just what?” Louis pushes but Liam’s hands spring off his face.

 

 

“I don’t know!” He almost shouts at the ground before brushing back his hair again with a sigh.

 

 

“We didn’t _label_ anything.” He says softly now as he looks up at Louis again.

 

 

“We didn’t have to.”

 

 

“They acted like they were in love without saying it.” Jade tells Louis.

 

 

“Well… without Z saying it anyways.”

 

 

And Louis nods in fascination.

 

 

Jade tells him about how they were the kind of pair that always gave each other hugs whenever one of them walked into a room instead of waving like normal people, _every single time._ Even when they were 10 years old, and Louis thinks that’s the cutest thing he’s ever heard. Andy tells him about how they always sat next to each other in class or on field trips and never went to outings without the other, whether it was an art show or the movies or the skatepark or just each other’s couch.

 

 

Zayn came to every one of Liam’s football games and Liam came to every one of Zayn’s featured gallery showcases with Perrie.

 

 

 _Supportive boyfriends._ Louis thinks with a smile.

 

 

“Year 10, they became more home bodies after Perrie left for a year.” Andy finishes with the ambiguous allusion to things changing directly after Perrie left and after she returned.

 

 

So she really _wasn’t_ here to see or know what happened.

 

 

It’s confirmed now, even though Liam is shy about answering upfront: Zayn and Liam had always been together without _saying_ they were together.

 

 

Whether that was platonic or not, doesn’t make much of a difference to Louis.

 

 

Platonic love is even more rousing than romantic love sometimes. Maybe Zayn just couldn’t deal with having both a platonic girlfriend _and_ boyfriend. It seems to Louis that all this could’ve been influenced by Perrie’s presence.

 

 

Honestly, that sounds like something Zayn would do to Louis anyways. He obviously has never liked labels.

 

 

“Did you kiss?” Louis asks eagerly. Jade pinches Liam’s blushing cheeks as he buries his smile.

 

 

 _“Did you really?”_ Andy asks now with wide eyes, along with everyone else who seems shocked by this response to Louis’ question.

 

 

Sofia and Niall both grimace.

 

 

“Seriously?” Niall gapes.

 

 

Liam only shakes his head into his palms, his bright grin still seen right through the back of his head.

 

 

“Oh my, look at you, bashful boy.” Jade coos him playfully as he hides his face into his knees from everyone laughing at his bashfulness and Louis’ brows shoot up as he grins, feeling like his heart is melting.

 

 

“Oh my god,” Louis covers his mouth. Liam is _adorable_ when he’s thinking about Zayn.

 

 

“Um, excuse me sir, when the fuck did this “kissing” take place? Is this why you two disappeared so much in year 10?” Andy scolds him like a parent and Louis is totally in _love_ with Liam right now, curling away from Jade trying to make him show his face as they laugh on the ground together.

 

 

“Platonic kissing?” Jade laughs and Liam shakes his head _no_ , the closest thing to an answer they’ve got but it tells Louis all he really needs to know.

 

 

This shit wasn’t platonic.

 

 

They _were_ together!

 

 

Louis would ask him the more important question of if they ever fucked but, Liam is a known virgin and they must’ve had something along the lines of chastity rings once upon a time.

 

 

But that doesn’t answer the burning question of how many _bases_ they got past before last year happened.

 

 

“So it was one of _those_ types of deals.” Louis wiggles his eyebrows once with a smile.

 

 

“The old friends that are actually _lovers_ tale.”

 

 

Jade nods at Louis with a smile too.

 

 

Liam sits up straight and uncovers his face to let out a heavy breath, frowning suddenly now through his inflamed cheeks.

 

 

“It doesn’t matter what you want to call it. Platonic or what have you,” He shrugs.

 

 

“Ze was there one moment and then the next, totally disappeared on me. We didn’t like, _gradually_ drift apart. It was all at once. I lost my best friend Zayn didn’t even seem to care. And it was like everyone always knew it would happen but me. I guess it just took us longer than the rest to figure that out.”

 

 

“Oh shut up Liam.” Sofia talks now, the first time Louis has actually heard her voice now that they’ve started talking about Zayn as she rolls her eyes.

 

 

One thing is certain, unlike mostly everyone else, she and Niall don’t find anything about Zayn and Liam cute.

 

 

“You’ve always acted like he’s so much better than you, you probably overlooked every red flag there was. You like Gatsby. You never realised the most important red flag about his behaviour: _He never liked you like you did him_.”

 

 

Liam frowns up at her as he rubs his neck.

 

 

“Never love someone more than they love you. And don’t eat your heart out for someone who shot a bullet through it and _ran_.”

 

 

Well, she knows her Gatsby pretty well.

 

 

Niall nods in agreement as he gestures to her.

 

 

“ _Thank you.”_ He commends her. “Someone with some fucking sense. If someone gave _half_ a shit about you, do you seriously think they would treat you like that?”

 

 

They seem to tag team now in their clouds of negative energy around Liam, like two devils hanging out on his shoulders, whispering doubt and mistrust in his ear.

 

 

“He used you, _constantly._ You’re not an idiot Liam, I know you know that. You just won’t admit it. It’s not your fault.”

 

 

Louis watches how Sofia and Liam look at each other with raised brows.

 

 

It doesn’t look entirely… platonic.

 

 

Niall continues adding his ever unwanted opinions as well.

 

 

“Zayn is this biggest cunt in this school and you unfortunately still haven’t figured that out yet.”

 

 

Louis and Liam both frown at Niall.

 

 

Hearing so many different, clashing opinions of Zayn in this school is so strange in comparison to Zayn in person.

 

 

The way Jade and Andy talk about their relationship compared to Niall and Sofia sounds like two totally different relationships. Liam doesn’t add much input to it himself at all.

 

 

“You’ve had this weird vendetta against Zayn ever since _year 8_.” Liam says seriously now as he squints at Niall in distaste.

 

 

“Ze has been there for me WAY before you ever were in more ways than what you can possibly comprehend. You don’t know _anything_ about Zayn and if you knew HALF of the shit he’s been through, you’d be feeling like a fucking jackass for even saying that.”

 

 

Everyone goes quiet now as Liam finally borders on anger now, officially done with Niall bad-mouthing Zayn with his strangely specific attacks.

 

 

“If you _hate Zayn_ so much, why don’t you just keep that name out of your mouth and stop starting shit and making up rumours like an asshole.” Liam accuses.

 

 

Niall looks at him incredulously as his mouth gapes.

 

 

“Are you _fucking_ kidding me?” He says slowly.

 

 

“Zayn’s the one that’s been carrying on around here, acting like you don’t exist until you’re drunk and making you feel like shit but I’M the asshole?” He looks at everyone else and smiles now.

 

 

“Amazing!”

 

 

“ _Say that name again.”_ Liam’s fist clenches now as his voice lowers dangerously.

 

 

 _"Hey,”_ Louis decides to interject now that this entire debacle has taken a turn for the ugly, trying to defuse the conversation he didn’t mean to start before it escalates into a full on fight between Niall and Liam.

 

 

They don’t seem like they’re really “friends”. They seem like they’re the kind of friends that actually secretly hate each other.

 

 

Everything Niall says, especially about Zayn, only pisses Liam off and vice versa.

 

 

Louis can tell Liam clearly isn’t comfortable talking about the whole thing just like Zayn isn’t. Even if he’s more open to talk about it honestly, Louis doesn’t want to probe him about it in front of everyone like this.

 

 

Well, not in front of a dick like Niall anyways.

 

 

“Why don’t you guys talk about this some other time? You know in private?” He suggests.

 

 

Everyone else nods in agreement. Liam shakes his head, standing up and retrieving Niall’s book, shoving it into his chest so rough, Niall almost falls off the desk.

 

 

“No need. This conversation is over.” He says simply. “We’re supposed to be doing work.”

 

 

He ties his tie back up neatly and tucks in his shirt again after asserting some executive order back over everyone, putting himself back together as President of the National Honours Society and putting away loose and happy Liam.

 

 

Everyone gets up and goes back to Gatsby as well, no one saying another word about anything non-school related. Although, with the way Niall argues that Gatsby is a fool for thinking his relationship with a bitch like Daisy is genuine, they might as well still be talking about it.

 

 

By the end of it, there’s so much tension between Liam and Niall, everyone is relieved when Flack comes back to tell them the meeting is over.

 

 

As Louis stands outside the door to text his ride that the meetings over, everyone filters out past him. Everyone except for Niall and Liam, still in the room. Louis doesn’t mean to eavesdrop but he doesn’t walk out of earshot when he realises he is either.

 

 

_“What did I just say--”_

 

 

 _“Liam, I’m not trying to bring you down.”_ Niall sounds way less harsh and cold right now as he soft voice sounds through the door.

 

 

Louis rolls his eyes.

 

 

Soft or hard, a dick is a dick.

 

 

_“I need you to understand the difference between a healthy, stable relationship and an emotionally unstable person feeding off someone else to ease their own pain like a fucking cigarette. Cept, you weren’t even that. You were his ASHTRAY. Still are.”_

 

 

Louis winces a little.

 

 

Even in trying to be soft, Niall was still taking a jackhammer to Liam, saying Zayn was using him like a cigarette, something you smoke dry and toss out for another. Maybe he’s not so wrong afterall…

 

 

_“You are about to be on the EXACT route of Harry and I can’t let that happen to you like I did him.”_

 

 

Louis’ face clears as he sits up straight and leans closer to the door, ears wide open now.

 

 

_“He went from the sweetest, fragile soul alive on Earth into a fragile, hurt zombie because he couldn’t piece together toxic patterns in someone he thought genuinely cared about him and if you don’t wake up and take off the blinders and see the fucking light, you’re gonna be in the same exact boat next year. Blindly giving someone your entire heart and soul, especially a soulless DEMON, is practically suicide. Don’t be like Haz. I’m not telling you to get over it. Just stop hurting yourself. I can’t stand seeing both of you like this.”_

 

 

Louis backs away from the door now as he’s heard _far_ too much of this private conversation.

 

 

Too much about Zayn. Too much about his relationship with Liam.

 

 

And now, too much about Harry and his sad boy vibes having proper context of boy that just got out of a terrible relationship.

 

 

He gets outside before he can be caught, staring at the beach now as he waits on the steps.

 

 

All he thinks about is how the people on this beach are beyond fucked up. He hopes he doesn’t ever become one of them.

 

 

Outside, Liam, Niall, Jade come out, Jade going into the arms of Stan coming up the steps. He glances up at Niall going right by without even looking at Louis, and he waves goodbye to Jade as she passes by in Stan’s hand. Liam stops when he sees Louis sitting at the bottom of the steps.

 

“Hey,” He smiles a little.

 

 

Louis looks up at him, surprised for a moment before he returns it with his own bright smile as Liam sits beside him.

 

 

He’s got his vest thrown over his head like a towel.

 

 

“Hiya.”

 

 

Once Liam is settled comfortably next to Louis with his hands in his pockets, he sighs and watches the beach with him, no words between them for a while.

 

 

Louis loves his posture.

 

 

The way he leans on his back a bit with his legs bent and spread out far apart in front of him is so classically boyish and not at all uppity and straight like how you’d expect from someone like Liam. Like he could be a young man that’s into reading John Dos Passos novels in his family’s country house on hot summer days but also that dreamy guy next door that plays video games in his room, ripe with pizza and laughter that feels like confetti.

 

 

As they watch a flock of birds move past the scenery, Liam finally says,

 

 

“I’m really sorry about what happened at NHS. I promise we don’t usually bicker and waste time like that for half an hour.”

 

 

Louis shrugs, going back to his phone now while Liam continues to watch the beach he grew up on.

 

 

“People argue all the time.”

 

 

“But this was your first time at a meeting and we were told to behave. I just wanted to apologise.” Liam insists, so Louis looks at him again and nods once.

 

 

“Okay. Apology accepted, although I really wasn’t bothered by it.” he smiles, which makes Liam relax a little.

 

 

“Really? I was afraid we’d scared you off.”

 

 

The fact that Liam seems genuinely concerned about how Louis felt at his first meeting right now catches him off guard a little. He appreciates how endearing it is.

 

 

“Liam, dear. That's awful sweet of you but I’m not afraid of anything.” Louis assures him, which makes Liam laugh.

 

“I’ll check back with you on that next week when you’ve been here a little longer than 3 days.”

 

 

“You do that.” Louis snorts, checking his phone to see that his ride was just around the corner now.

 

 

He supposes there’s not much to figure out about Liam.

 

 

Sure, he was upset about Louis being here but, he seems too conscientious to hold anything against Louis because of it anymore.

 

 

He’s worlds away from the offness of yesterday. Even from an hour ago, like he’s already warmed up to the idea of Louis. Considering everything that Louis knows now, Liam clearly has a lot of stress in his life and a lot more on his mind than Louis.

 

 

It makes Louis think he and Liam might really become friends too.

 

 

Liam stands up.

 

 

“Do you need a lift or are you waiting for someone?” Liam asks him, “I wouldn’t want to drive home knowing you were walking anywhere around here, unless you fancy getting mugged.”

 

 

Louis has major flashbacks to a couple days ago. He definitely learned that lesson the hardest way possible.

 

 

“I’ve got someone.” He tells him, gesturing to his phone.

 

 

Liam's eyes fix on it, seemingly mesmerised as his dark eyes suddenly look entranced.  

 

"Can I see that?" He asks absently, pointing at Louis' phone. Louis looks at it a little confused.

 

"You need to call someone?"

 

Liam shakes his head

 

"No. Just looking at the case." He says. Louis brightens, finally understanding

 

"Oh yeah!" He shows the back of it to Liam. It's completely white save for the lone black bird perched on a branch.

 

"I got it from New Zealand. It's pretty sick."

 

Liam looks at it closely with strangely glazed over eyes

 

"It's called a fantail." He says, then looks back at Louis, "The bird."

 

Louis nods with his mouth perched open.

 

"Ah. I didn't know that. Pretty bird."

 

It made sense. The birds tail was fanned out behind him, sticking up its bum in the air. Louis thought it reminded him of himself, showing off its best feature proudly.

 

“Yeah… pretty bird…” Liam repeats, his voice suddenly… far away.

 

  
"Are you into birds?" Louis asks him curiously, a question he’s been wondering since he saw him with Sofia. Louis isn’t sure if Liam picks up the innuendo.

  

He shakes his head, giving Louis back his phone.

  
  
"Not particularly."

 

  
Pretty solid answer. He’s not sure if it’s to the same question though.

 

 

Perrie said Tom was the only gay person here they know of. So while Liam might be deeply in love with Zayn, Louis knows he’s not gay either. But so, neither is Zayn then.

 

 

Right after Louis pockets his phone, a blue pickup truck pulls up.

 

 

Louis watches as Liam’s entire body seizes up as Zayn, with his slicked back wavy man-bun with his girly barrettes decorating his hair and after shadow peppered around his jaw he didn’t shave off today and his obscure band t-shirt with the sleeves torn off and his ridiculous tattoos, obliviously lights a cigarette in his truck two feet away from him.

 

 

“Oh.” Liam quips, sucking in a breath as Louis jumps up,

 

 

“We'll see you tomorrow then?”

 

 

Louis climbs into the truck quickly as if that will make this moment not feel as overly dragged out as it does now.

 

He doesn’t want Liam to get the wrong idea but… that’s impossible now. Because this looks _really_ bad. At least if Perrie were in the back, it wouldn’t look totally incriminating. Or a dog barking in the back or a mariachi band crammed in, or a gang of fucking clowns, just _anything_ but just the two of them right now.

 

 

Going home with Zayn with no other context but the obvious.

 

 

“See you.” Louis waves with a slightly manic smile as his heart _pounds_.

 

 

Zayn looks up at him, cigarette dangling from his lips

 

 

“Sorry?”

 

 

Louis gestures that he was talking to Liam, who’s still standing there, smiling like he’s got a gun held to his head as he waves at them. Louis could only imagine what Liam was thinking of him right now, getting into Zayn’s car. _Especially_ with Louis interrogation of their relationship in the past.

 

 

He just looks like a tool now.

 

 

When his blue coloured eyes today glance up, Zayn freezes for a few seconds with a totally blank expression when he and Liam lock eyes.

 

 

How can someone’s face register absolutely nothing? It’s as if he’s staring into a void.

 

 

The paused moment of his unmoving lips lets his cigarette accidently drop into his lap. It breaks his statue-like state as he suddenly swears and panics to frantically prevent it from burning through his black jeans.

 

 

After he manages to swipe it to the floor, he looks back up at Louis.

 

 

“Are... you okay?” Louis asks tentatively

 

 

“Brilliant. You good?” Zayn replies with forced calmness.

 

 

Louis nods but cringes when Zayn looks away to pull off because is was so goddamn awkward.

 

 

Everything about this moment, awkward on a grand scale greater than Louis’ weekly allowance.

 

 

Being seen with Zayn like this. Driving away without really acknowledging Liam’s presence at all, leaving him standing there like he wasn’t.

 

The whole ride, all Louis can think about is Liam and wishing none of today happened.

 

 

He wishes he didn’t know what he knows about Zayn or Liam’s past or that he’s being thrown in the middle of something completely out of his control.

 

 

Liam’s face when they drove away… Louis hates that he’s the reason for it.

 

 

God, he looked so _hurt_ , Louis feels terrible.

 

 

He hasn’t even done anything wrong and he feels like such a dick. Liam’s heart-break was all over his face in that moment, seeing Zayn with some guy and confirming every last one of his worst nightmares and it’s breaking Louis’ heart too.

 

 

Romance made him want to throw up but, this Liam stuff with Zayn seemed so… sweet. Like puppy love. The way he talks about him and turns into mush, it was too much.

 

 

It’s like Louis is ruining it even more just for showing up.

 

 

He wants to ask Zayn why he does that.

 

 

Totally ignores him anytime he’s around and acts like he doesn’t exist. Seeing it the first time had no context. Even the way Zayn reacts to hearing Liam’s voice on the announcements, it seems like he _hates_ the guy. All that sweet stuff they said about them in the past is completely unbelievable when you look at the state they’re in now.

 

 

It makes Louis see Zayn in a totally different light, not wanting answers to what the fuck is _with_ Zayn.

 

 

It’s kind of intimidating, honestly. How would he know when he’s pissed Zayn off if he just cuts people off without warning?

 

 

He’s too nervous to even ask Zayn about it. He feels like he might throw him out of his truck for asking, make him walk home and never talk to Louis again.

 

 

The silence is harsh as they drive, not even music letting Louis focus on anything else as he stares out of the window with his lip bitten in. Even if Louis had the gall to ask Zayn about it, if he’s never even told Perrie or Liam himself, why the hell would he wanna talk about it with Louis?

 

 

The thing was, now that Louis had actually met Liam, it only made the situation more confusing. He was expecting him to be unbearably annoying or at least _something_ wrong with him at the very least but there wasn’t one thing Louis could find wrong.

 

 

Liam was genuinely loveable. Almost _perfect._

 

 

He was polite and endearing. Had his little attractive charm. Friendly even if he didn’t have to be and he was incredibly nice about the whole thing with Louis most likely taking the title of becoming valedictorian even though he’d been working so hard for it. And even nicer when Louis kept asking all the annoying questions about him and Zayn. He even offered to take Louis home after.

 

 

It was impossible not to like him.

 

 

It was a stark contrast from the people Louis was used at this school, being so rude and judgmental. Liam was too nice for his own good.

 

 

Louis supposes this is really none of his business. He just hopes he and Liam can be friends.

 

 

Zayn and Liam was between just that.

 

 

Zayn and Liam.

 

 

At home later that night, Louis talks on the phone with Perrie about it when Zayn is no longer around since he has nothing to report about with Kendall. She of course has no clue why Zayn acts like that when the faintest notion of Liam is mentioned but she tells Louis something that catches his attention.

 

 

Liam is leaving the country indefinitely next year.

 

 

She doesn’t think Zayn is actually happy about that but, he’s known about it for 4 years now apparently so it’s not as if that would have anything to do with it, but it’s still interesting to Louis.

 

 

Especially since Louis noticed that the day Liam is supposed to leave is the last day marked on Zayn’s calendar on his wall.

 

 

“ _Don’t_ ask Z about that stuff.” Perrie warns him seriously over the phone.

 

 

“He won’t talk to you or anyone for a while if you do cause it makes him really upset. Zayn’s really emotional and anxious in reality but just doesn’t express it explicitly, he just keeps to himself when he’s upset. I don’t think that calendar has anything to do with Liam though, he has a lot of dates circled on it and they all stress him out so badly, just don’t ask him about it. He always disappears for a few days when each date comes up.”

 

 

“Disappear?” Louis repeats as he squints up at his ceiling. Zayn really is _too_ mysterious.

 

 

“Somewhere in the city.” Perrie elaborates. “I don’t know what he does or where he even goes. He has a secret life no one knows about.”

 

 

“ _Someone_ has to know.” Louis smiles mischievously as he sits up and sorts though his wardrobe.

 

 

He really needs to go shopping.

 

 

“You ever thought about following him?” He suggests curiously.

 

 

“Are you INSANE? Z’d KILL me!”

 

 

Louis snorts a little, flopping back on his bed.

 

 

“No one can keep secrets from me. I’m gonna find out who the boy hiding behind the pretty curtain of mystery really is.”

 

 

Perrie laughs at his certainty.

 

 

“You want to be the next Tom Harlock?” She asks jokingly and Louis freezes now before he sits up slowly, realising something.

 

 

Tom knows _everything._ Maybe that includes the mysterious Zayn Malik. Actually, maybe that includes everyone in school Louis might want to know more about.

 

 

“Can I… ask you something about someone else at school?” Louis starts slowly. Perrie tells him to go on as she absently blow dries her hair on the other line.

 

 

“What do you know about Harry Styles?” He rushes it out so fast, he’s sure she didn’t hear him.

 

 

The dryer on the other side stops now.

 

 

 _“Harry on the football team?”_ He can hear the smirk in her voice that makes Louis blush.

 

 

It’s such a random thing to ask about.

 

 

Harry’s not a huge mystery like Zayn at all. There’s just something about him Louis feels compelled by whenever he thinks about him, especially after hearing what Niall said about him earlier, that makes Louis want to know more about him too.

 

 

Namely, who the person is that broke his heart.

 

 

“Yeah, him.” Louis nods.

 

 

“I don’t really know him that well. Zayn’s friends with him I think. I heard he’s a xanhead.”

 

 

“Pez, I need you to speak English please.”

 

 

“He’s addicted to _xanax.”_ Perrie rephrases it slowly. Louis frowns a little.

 

 

“The anxiety medication?”

 

 

“Yah mate. He can barely remember his own name, he’s like a zombie. Why? Did you hear something about him?”

 

 

Louis bite his lip in as he shakes his head.

 

 

“No…” He closes his eyes now. Maybe the less he knew about things, the better. Knowing too much makes you see people in different lights. Louis is now on the route to knowing too much about everyone and getting bad views of them because of it.

 

 

Perrie tells him she’s going to bed after their done gossiping on the phone for 3 hours and he goes to bed reading Gatsby.

 

 

It always seems like the books or movies you engage in sometimes directly reflect your life.

 

 

 _Rumours._ Louis tiffs to himself as he closes the book after he’s done.

 

 

They were all so wrong about Gatsby. His whole life was a made-up farce and he let it get him killed. Louis decides he’s not buying into anymore gossip unless he knows it for himself to be true.

 

 

Like Harry being a drug addict. Or Zayn being a playboy. Liam, the innocuous goodboy.

 

 

Maybe they all don’t really own those titles at all. And as Louis goes to sleep, he thinks maybe Tom knows the truth.

 

 

He dreams of being Gatsby that night.

 

 

He’s standing on the beach, looking across the water at a green light glowing on the other side of the bay. The denizens of Wellington are all partying on the beach around him, drinks and empty laughter filling the air with acidic mist. They're pink glasses of rose are filled with sticks of poison ivy they don't notice they're consuming.

 

 

Zayn sulking in a dark corner where no one can see him with his drink, Kendall and her posse at the centre of the action as they dance amongst the crowd with their drinks. Even Perrie was in on the active party, drinking the night away. NHS members thrown in here, jocks thrown in there. But Louis doesn’t join them.

 

 

As he looks behind him again, they don’t look like the happy party goers they sound like. They look like zombies with a single heart beat in synch with one another, the dancing more like an effort to break apart from the glue binding together. But it’s useless.

 

 

They’re stuck.

 

 

Louis looks away again, back across the glowing waters to the other side of the world he came from, the green light illuminating a path.

 

 

The light is compelling him to come closer to it, but the beach waters thwarts his desire to go as he can seem to go any further than sticking his toes in the water.

 

 

All he can do is reach out for it, reaching for something he isn’t entirely sure of.

 

 

Is it a drink of his own? Or maybe something more intercosmic and deep. Like all the answers to the universe were over there.

 

 

It looks like… a person actually. They’re _drowning._

 

 

Louis heart pounds as he realises they’re not just drowning alone out there where no one is paying attention to.

 

 

They’re drowning themselves on purpose.

 

 

 _“Harry?”_ He asks quietly.

 

 

The light went out immediately, engulfing the beach into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I changed my mind about spanning this one over a few weeks to experiment with how long each chapter is preferred. Next chapter, Louis learns what a hag is.


	8. vii. The G.B.F

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis gets a taste of the life of a socialite and is unsure if he likes it. Meanwhile, he and Tom grow closer. Zayn's mysterious personal life continues to intrigue Louis deeper into a rabbit hole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY THIS CHAPTER IS SO LONG! But I hope ya like it anyway haha!

 

 

**Louis pov**

 

 

 

Zayn doesn’t drive straight up to the school steps to pick Louis up from NHS anymore.

 

He waits in the parking lot for _Louis_ to walk up instead now, probably to make sure he’s alone and Louis can barely stop himself from laughing at how heavily Zayn avoids what he’s gonna call Zayn’s _technical_ ex now.

 

Sad… but still funny.

 

Louis was actually glad he did that. No more awkward run ins with Liam, who doesn’t really talk to Louis in a casual, conversational kind of way anymore. Strictly work. They study together and talk about school work within the group discussions but other than that, Liam stays away from Louis.

 

So much for being friends.

 

On days he doesn’t have NHS, he goes to Zayn’s on the weekends and with Kendall and Tom all the other days. Kendall and Tom who he was spending a considerably large amount of time with, subsequently raising a lot of not just Wellington’s interest but everyone in the public eye, wondering who he was and where the hell he came from.

 

After a few weeks, people just knew personal stuff about him without him having to offer anything. He didn’t know how or why they cared so much but, he wasn’t complaining. He saw a picture of himself on the inside of a tabloid, an unknown walking down the street with Kendall.

 

This was kind of great.  

 

Kendall took Louis out with her and Tom to various hot-spots in London everyday, except for the weekends and the days he had NHS, whether it was night clubs or just simply shopping.

 

Mostly shopping throughout the day. And gossiping. And hopping into more stores for more shopping. Dancing with boys in clubs and getting them to buy them drinks late at night.

 

Shopping. And shopping.

 

And Louis didn’t think it was humanly possible to shop as much as Kendall did. He told her he needed new clothes and she just took that and flew with the wind. He spent a LOT of money at luxury stores he would never frequent, even _alone_. He was actually running out of closet space.

 

Kendall was _very_ impressed with his taste. And his ability to afford all this.

 

He had to admit, he felt bad about running his parents into the poor house with his excessive credit card bills but, this was how a socialite here shopped and his mother would gladly let him buy all the clothes he wanted if it meant he was getting on with his new friends.

 

Gucci. Versace. Tommy Hilfiger. Prada. Stuart Weitzman… _mostly_ stuff for Kendall.

 

A large part of the “shopping” just consisted of Tom and Louis watching Kendall try on various shoes and outfits as she asked their opinions of how good or bad they looked on her.

 

Hanging out with the socialites was like leaving the actual world and entering the material, _rich girl_ world. Don’t get him wrong, Louis _loved_ hanging out with girls. He had 5 young sisters so, playing dress up was as familiar as the sky to him and probably the biggest influence in his love for fashion. Clothes, fabric, colour… it was a fucking beautiful extension of the human body.

 

Shopping with Kendall and Tom was like playing dress up with a real life barbie doll. He’d never seen people so glamourous.

 

It was all _fun_ but… it got old very fast.

 

After a few days, he gets sick of being an added handbag in Kendall Jenner’s life without being able to really do anything that wasn’t centred around exactly that. But, he doesn’t complain or suggest doing something different for a change. This is their thing they’ve invited him into and he’s not in a position to start making demands for change.

 

But Louis was not inherently born to be a follower. He can’t keep focus with someone else’s lead to save his life, always that one kid that gets distracted by something shiny in the distance and ends up unknowingly amassing a crowd following behind him when he runs off the fad train and does his own thing.

 

One day, at his own wandering mind, he and Tom spontaneously got matching Audemars Piguet royal oak chrono watches and Cartier tie clips when they both slipped away from Kendall to browse the men’s department for once.

 

Tom didn’t hesitate to follow Louis, not for one second. Even if Kendall was left behind them.

 

It didn’t take Louis long to figure out why.

 

This was the first time Tom could finally do something like this with a _guy_ friend rather than watch the girls all the time. Louis could understand why that would get tiring after a while. He was tired of it after just two days.

 

He can only stare at some girls naked breasts for so long.

 

There was a _lot_ of stuff Tom couldn’t do or talk about or just bond over with a girl that he could with Louis. And yes, Louis factors in the cheeky innuendo of how much they could both get out of each other if they ditched the “hags”, as Tom calls them.

 

From the way he got so _excited_ about hanging out with Louis, Louis was beginning to wonder what the hell Tom got out of telling his opinion of their outfits or shooting them with a camera and just generally being an added accessory on a shopping trip rather than a real person with other separate interests that didn’t involve being their gay best friend.

 

Perrie wasn’t lying at all. It was like Tom was their personal queer guy. Louis was happy to change that, edging more and more towards he and Tom doing their own things only _they_ could do together rather than following behind the girls, carrying their bags down the streets of London.

 

He can finally relate to straight guys dread in going shopping with their girlfriends now. Essentially, this was exactly the same thing. Just, no one got laid afterwards.

 

The girls always got matching neck ties and silk or pink Chanel lined blazers every week to wear to school so Tom was always the odd one out even when it came to getting clothes for himself with someone. Louis becomes more than just a shopping partner for him or someone he could match with. The shopping with Tom was just an added bonus.

 

Namely: the moments inside the dressing room.

 

Buying clothes together was a very intimate experience.

 

When Kendall’s there, the air is platonic as can be. Tits hanging out and getting jumped into one shirt to the other. But when she leaves the dressing room, the air changes.

 

For now, they’re still a platonic little threesome.

 

“What do you think?” Kendall asks towards Louis and Tom in the dressing room as they both sit squished together on a chaise lounge.

 

They watch Kendall change in front of the mirror into a cute [ outfit ](http://www.chanel.com/en_US/fashion/products/ready-to-wear/g/s.look-18-spring-summer-2017.17S.17S18.c.17S.html) Louis approves of.

 

A tweed, ecru and pink blazer over a white silk jersey along with a jacquard beige skirt to match.

 

Tom’s nose turns up in distaste.

 

“Ew.”

 

Kendall’s arms drop as she turns towards him.

 

“Ew?” She repeats. “As of that’s a fucking answer.”

 

“Ew as in ditch the fugly skirt. It’s hanging down to your knees, are we going to church?”

 

Louis laughs, shaking his head a little.

 

He thought it was just fine the way it came.

 

“What’s wrong with full length?” He asks Tom as he looks over at him.

 

His eyes follow as Tom stands up off the chaise and goes over to Kendall to tug off her long skirt to replace with another identical to it he picked out that’s half it’s size.

 

Louis found it a little weird how easily she got completely naked in front of them. She’s probably used to changing in front of a bunch of strangers, with her kind of job but, this wasn’t exactly doing a fitting for a designer or running to get up on a catwalk.

 

In just watching someone undress in front of you and telling them about how the clothes hugged their body, there was something about it that was always gonna get personal. Sexuality wasn’t even a factor after a while. Just a body a two pairs of eyes observing it closely.

 

Scrutinising Kendall’s body after a while for Louis just blends into a strangely liberating feel from gender entirely. The naked girl in front of him just becomes flesh, skin and bones. Small breasts that sag a little and make her seem more human, a scar on the back of her thigh that adds to that. Smooth legs that went on for _days_. All these parts of her body most men get hard looking at just puts Louis deep in fascination.

 

Watching her undress made him feel like he didn’t want to even blink. He’d never seen someone so beautiful yet still… normal looking once you took away the layers that conceals her raw form.

 

The basic human need to be watched that usually gets filled with mirrors, Kendall used boys for instead.

 

It was the strangest thing he’s ever experienced but… the strangeness of it was a little thrilling.

 

This was actually really fun.

 

“Skirts should be the size of a belt.” Tom explains to Louis as he hikes up her skirt and covers the top of it with her jacket so it’s a miniskirt with her cheeks slightly hanging out the back, the average look of Wellington.

 

“Life’s short, so your skirt should be too. Remember you’re always to take _risks_.”

 

It turned out, Kendall wasn’t as fashionably inclined on her own as Louis originally thought.

 

If it were up to her, she’s be wearing sweats, tracksuits and sandals around everywhere.

 

Eleanor explained _their_ dress code to Louis that completely disregards Wellington’s. But they never get in trouble for some reason.

 

They can’t wear jeans or tracksuits unless it’s Friday and if they do, the suit _has_ to be colourful or else it’ll look like they’re actually going to the gym.

 

Ew.

 

They’re only allowed to wear their hair down once a week to keep things creative with up-dos. Chokers are essential so boys know they have a freaky side, millenium pink velvet, or _millennial_ pink scarfed. Diamonds are Eleanor’s and gold is Kendall’s. Ample cleavage is Lottie’s trademark. No crop top is too cropped, even if there’s an under-boob (which is encouraged) and belly rings are optional because, duh, they’re so cute.

 

If you _ever_ wear anything high waisted or oversized, don’t even bother coming to school because this isn’t the fucking 90s.

 

If they broke any of those rules, they couldn’t sit at their lunch table or go to any country clubs with the group.

 

Most of the “rules” didn’t even apply to Tom and Louis at all.

 

Louis noticed that _all_ of these rules went against Kendall’s true nature.

 

He could tell Kendall didn’t like chokers or jewelry or tight, uncomfortable clothes. He could also tell she didn’t like wearing her hair up in tight buns or having makeup on her face and she always kicked off her heels at lunch after a while of having her toes pinched. He began wondering how the fuck this girl got into the modeling industry if everything about it was everything she hated.

 

Louis always seen her fidgeting with her choker or hair absently when she’s uncomfortable or getting pissed off with one of her friends, loosening her hair or taking off her accessories like a little girl being forced to dress up to a party only to have Tom redo it once she’s ruined the entire look.

 

It was kind of cute. She reminded him of his little sisters. He thinks Kendall might be a tomboy under those skirts and heels.

 

All the advice on how she looks came from _Tom._

 

He tosses out her furry slides before she can even try them back on.

 

“I would never be caught _dead_ leaving the house in sandals or trainers.” He scoffs, giving her a pair of iron grey [ Stuart Weitzman ](http://eu.stuartweitzman.com/en/gwp-candle-2017/gigi-boot-iron-grey-GIGISPEIRO.html)Gigi boot’s.

 

_“Always wear heels._ Or boots.” He adds the last part for Louis.

 

“Camera ready is not mushing around in house shoes baby.”

 

Louis watches in fascination how Kendall takes in Tom’s vision of her look coming together, laughing together in the mirror as they throw clothes around and tug them off and on.

 

Tom and Kendall together kind of reminded him of Jade and Liam. And Perrie and Zayn. Those inseparable duos that seem like they were just _born_ to be together. Tom even calls Kendall his hag just like Zayn does with Perrie whenever they get mistaken for being a couple and Louis believes he’s finally starting to understand exactly what that is now.

 

Not an old, ugly witch but rather a young, stylish girl accompanied with her platonic male best friend, preferably one of the homo species of men just to ensure that sex doesn’t ruin the infatuation stage.

 

So infatuation becomes infinite as they are platonically in love, forever. Girl gets everything she would get out of a boyfriend without the annoying, exhausting bits, and vice versa. It makes him think that every girl might not have a G.B.F. but, maybe every boy needed a hag.

 

It’s kind of making Louis want a G.B.F. of his own now as he watches them with a smile.

 

Not a gay best friend. A _girl_ best friend.

 

Or just a best friend in general. Best friends are the greatest accessories to have, it seems.

 

But he keeps getting inserted into trios.

 

He starts to think about how he’s gonna reduce this habit of creating threesomes into finding that one person to do everything with. Zayn and Tom weren’t really options. They came in pairs already.

 

3 hours into shopping and they finally have _1_ outfit for Kendall.

 

The fact that this started off as a shopping trip for _Louis_ tells him exactly how things work in materialistic rich girl world.

 

It was just that. A _girl’s_ world. They never focused on anything else.

 

That this was evidently _Kendall’s_ world and everyone else was just living in it.

 

_“Voilà.”_ Tom kisses his pinched fingers as he takes a step back to check out his creation.

 

“How do I look?” She bites her bottom lip a bit as she spreads her legs apart awkwardly.

 

Tom gestures on his own shoulders, patting them like he’s dusting himself off so she mimics his posture and lifts up, straight and poise so her pose adjusts to look more pleasing on the eye like how a photographer would direct his model on set. Her posture completely transforms the whole thing and Louis knows Tom has got to be a phenomenal photographer if this is his work at leisure _without_ a camera.

 

As she tilts her head down slightly when Tom fluffs out her dark, lustrous hair around her shoulders, a _supermodel_ transforms right before their eyes.

 

_“Wow…”_ Louis murmurs, shaking his head as he smiles.

 

“You look like a _star,_ doll.” Tom smiles too.

 

Kendall laughs and poses again when Tom takes out his phone and snaps a pic before standing next to her and angling the camera to get them both in the mirror.

 

“Louis!” She gestures for him to get up quickly as they all crowd around to take a selfie in the mirror together.

 

“You’re pretty handy with a camera.” Louis smirks as he looks at them, angled to catch every bit of light perfectly.

 

“Such a model.” Tom smiles to himself as he scrolls.

 

Louis gets the feeling Tom isn’t talking about Kendall. He’s looking at Louis in all the pictures.

 

One in particular that Louis turned around in and poked his ass out for, Tom stops scrolling and stares for a moment before he looks at Louis with wide eyes, like he’s just been struck with an idea, gearing to ask Louis something until Kendall takes his phone from his hands before he can.

 

“What’s your insta, so I can tag you.” Kendall asks now as she absently swipes away on the phone and begins typing. Louis’ eyes dart to the side to look at Tom’s reflection, still holding his waist as they stand in front of the mirror.

 

“Ummm… my what?”

 

_“Oh my god,_ I knew he was gonna say that.” Tom looks at Kendall over Louis’ head with a wide smirk as they exchange a look with some inside joke Louis isn’t in on.

 

“I love him, he’s like a Martian.” Kendall sighs as she holds her hand out to Louis.

 

“Give me your phone.”

 

It’s not a request.

 

Louis quickly takes out his brand new iPhone he just bought yesterday, new chrome gold case that matches Tom’s so exactly that they can’t even tell their phones apart. Apparently, the only people that still used flip-phones in this era of time were drug dealers and burnouts so Louis had to upgrade.

 

He didn’t even know how to use to thing.

 

“We’re making you an instagram today. You can’t function in this world without social media, Louis, it’s unnatural.”

 

She pauses for a second thought as she looks down at the photo with a slight grimace, then looks at Louis’ outfit.

 

“Actually,” she gives him back his phone and turns away. “This can wait, we need to finish _your_ shopping.”

 

Louis steps in front of the mirror with his hands in his pockets. He didn’t think he looked _that_ bad.

 

All he had on today were black vans, regular dark jeans and a plain t-shirt. Kendall told him he barely even looked gay, whatever the hell that was supposed to look like. He didn’t know he was supposed to be a fashionista 24/7.

 

He only wore nice clothes for school but, apparently, they always needed to be camera ready no matter where they were going. Especially since there’s a gang of paparazzi waiting outside this store down the street.

 

Louis glances at Kendall behind him in the mirror, tapping away on the phone as she absently fidgets with her skirt. She ends up taking it off and putting on jeans.

 

“How did you get into modeling if you don’t like wearing the clothes?” He laughs a little as he pushes back his hair, shaking his head thinking about the amount of clothes he’s already amassed this week alone.

 

“Didn’t you know?” Tom smiles mischievously as Kendall changes into her original clothes.

 

He joins Louis in the mirror, creeping up behind him.

 

_“Great excuse to see naked girls.”_ He whispers in Louis’ ears, making him cover his mouth as they both laugh. Kendall backhands Tom in his chest with a frown.

 

“Shut up.” She scoffs in disgust, and Tom’s smile disappears. Kendall doesn’t find that joke funny at all and it reminds Louis of Zayn alluding to Kendall outing Perrie to the whole school a few years ago.

 

He can’t imagine her being homophobic seeing all the gays she’s constantly surrounding herself with in her line of work but, as he thinks about it now… her entire life benefits from it. Even in being friends with Tom, having a G.B.F. to come with her on shopping trips, without him, she wouldn’t look half as good as she always does.

 

After all the “rules” he heard about for the girls… maybe Tom has rules too. Like stuff he’s not allowed to _talk_ about.

 

He has noticed how selective Tom is in what he says around the girls most of the time and Louis just models after Tom, staying away from talking about anything that isn’t girl related.

 

Tom gets a little slippery with it around Louis like he just did and this exchange is making Louis think that homosexuality grosses Kendall out. He can’t explain it. It’s just an off feeling he gets around her that makes it seem like it’d be weird to talk about boys with her.

 

He _hopes_ this is not the case. That she _didn’t_ terrorise Perrie for being gay and that she’s _not_ using them. That she’s not one of those people that doesn’t like something until it benefits them.

 

Louis is highly aware that the Kardashians are notorious for this reputation. Reaping the benefits of being associated with certain people or a culture that doesn’t really belong to them without really caring for or respecting the people they’re appropriating it from. But Kendall’s not a Kardashian.

 

She’s a Jenner.

 

Louis pushes that thought to the back of his mind. Not completely out. Just away for now.

 

Kendall turns away after with a grimace as she leaves the room.

 

“I’ll be right back.” She leaves behind her with the promise of murdering Louis’ closet more.

 

Louis turns around towards Tom with a wide smile.

 

Now they can have fun.

 

“Actually, I think it’s _your_ turn.”

 

He backs away and falls onto the chaise leisurely, finding a nice and _tight_ pair of Armani trousers in their pile, tossing it at Tom, who blushes when Louis folds his hands over his belly and waits for Tom to take off his clothes.

 

“Ummm….” He looks over at the door sceptically, like he’s waiting for Kendall to barge in and tell them no.

 

“This is _your_ shopping trip, Lou. I know she always ends up buying things for herself but, that just comes with the package--”

 

“Put it on.” Louis cuts him off, and Tom laughs, shaking his head as he turns around and holds the pants over his own, checking it out as he debates trying it on.

 

Louis doubts he ever gets an honest shopping partner if he only buys clothes with Kendall seeing how this always turns into _her_ fitting.

 

Eleanor told Louis they wouldn’t buy a skirt without asking their friends first if it looked good on them. He thinks Tom deserves to have the same consideration.

 

“This is a bit… _loud.”_

 

“You don’t like this colour?” Louis asks as he stands up and joins him. Tom holds his lips in and shakes his head no as he turns to Louis.

 

“Blue looks kind of clownish t.b.h.”

 

Louis’ head pulls back for a second in offence.

 

_“Blue?”_ He repeats, holding his chest as he laughs. “This is _cerulean_ , love.”

 

Louis shakes his head and turns Tom back around by the shoulders so they’re facing the 3 mirrored wall. His hands slide down to his “blue” pants, holding the hem up around Tom’s slim waistline, whose hands fall away as he jumps at little at Louis’ handiness, brows pushing up to his hairline.

 

“ _Oh-”_

 

“This colour would look _delicious_ on you, babe.” Louis smiles in the mirror, tightening them at Tom’s waist as his eyes move down his body.

 

Tom is a frozen statue as his neck flushes even more when Louis’ mouth is right near his ear now as they check out his waist together. The air shifts… _tight_.

 

“A deep blue like a clear sky… it’d bring out your _eyes_ \--”

 

Tom suddenly takes the pants away from Louis and turns around quickly before his hands can get anywhere further in taking off his pants.

 

“Okay, I can do that. You should leave.” He decides quickly, putting space between he and Louis, whose smile falters.

 

“...leave?”

 

“I’m gonna try it on.” Tom nods to the ground.

 

“Why do I have to leave…?”

 

Tom looks up at Louis now with a confused smile this time.

 

“To leave something to the imagination. What kind of boy do you think I am? _”_

 

Louis laughs towards the ground as he backs up again as his closeness is now making Tom freak with nerves, sitting down on the chaise.

 

Tom blows out air a little and turns back to the mirror, blinking rapidly at his reflection, eyes darting to Louis sitting behind him.

 

He doesn’t look like he’s leaving.

 

Now is really not the time to do this. If Kendall walks in…

 

“So you want me to leave because you think I’m gonna check out your _ass_ -sets?” Louis asks him.

 

“Since I’m undressing them… yes.”

 

“Isn’t that supposed to be the other way around?” Louis tilts his head at him slightly now.

 

“Couple of bros,” Louis kicks back casually, slouching with his arms behind his head and shrugs and makes his voice _super_ masc and low.

 

“Doing bro shit. Buying clothes. Staring at chicks. Checking out each other’s hot bods. Having gay sex. Laddy lads--”

 

Tom’s head nods back as he laughs, throwing the pants at Louis so he shuts up, who catches it, laughing as well.

 

“Okay, first of all, don’t _ever_ do that with your voice again.”

 

“And second?” Louis smiles sweet as he folds them.

 

Tom glares at him, trying to bite back his grin as he licks his lips.

 

“And second… you don’t really care about my eyes, you just want to see me _naked_.”

 

“Tom.” Louis sits up seriously.

 

“I’ve been staring at tits for 3 hours. Is that so awful of me?”

 

Tom laughs really hard now, covering his throat as it spazzes, clearly not expecting Louis to actually agree that this was the idea.

 

“God, you _kill_ me.” He shakes his head so Louis shrugs, sitting back again as he looks at the ceiling.

 

“Well, if I’m being quite honest, I’m about to murder _someone_ just to have a change of the fucking line of things.”

 

Tom holds his chin for thought, like this is some insight into Louis he’s analysing as he looks at him closely.

 

“So you’re the kind of murderer that kills people due to boredom?”

 

“YES! Starting with _me._ ” Louis laughs. “If I see another camel toe, I’m going to go find a gun and kill my fucking self. Seriously, all jokes aside. How the heck to you do this every single day? ”

 

“Well… it’s going to be my job one day so, I’m used to it.” Tom shrugs absently as he sits at Louis’ feet. Louis sits up as he looks at Tom.

 

“Stylist?”

 

Tom nods, waving his phone at Louis with a small smile.

 

“And photographer.” He adds.

 

“What about your legacy?”

 

He was sure there was some kind of family business Tom was gonna be inheriting that didn’t involve the fashion industry.

 

Tom chuckles briefly, shaking his head, like that word is a joke to him.

 

“That dream was shattered when I came out at 13 years old.” He snorts.

 

Louis frowns now at the sad implication.

 

“Your folks weren’t cool with you being gay?”

 

“Who’s are?” Tom laughs.

 

“I mean… it’s not like they’re _awful_ about it. They don’t even have to see me so, how could they even care enough to be uncool? Sure, if they were ever around, of course they wouldn’t be okay with it. The great thing about having ghosts in your house is that no one’s there to be _un_ -cool with anything you do.”

 

Louis understands what he’s saying and he’s never heard something so utterly unrelatable as he sits with someone he has so much in common with.

 

He suddenly finds himself on the priviledge side of things compared to some of the people here as he listens to Tom. Namely, the queer folk. Not just the guys. Girls too, as he thinks about Perrie.

 

He’s been lucky enough to never have to hide it or come out to his parents and they’ve never expressed any issue with that, except for when it came to talking about sex but that was because of an unrelated issue Louis had. Other than that, Louis could honestly say he’s had his whole family’s support in being 100% himself his whole life. They’ve always been very close and very loving.

 

He’s always been aware that that’s rare, even with being as close as he is to his parents to be able to tell them anything without fear of consequences and he cherishes that he’s really lucky to have that.

 

It appears that Tom can’t say the same.

 

“So… you have no legacy?” Louis asks now. Tom nods with amused brows.

 

“Oh, of course!” he tuts with a dismissive roll of his eyes.

 

“They can’t cut me off, even if they wanted to. There’s no one else but me and now, they’ll be no one after. My trust isn’t going anywhere. Maria was more terrified that I’d run away and become a hairdresser than she was walking in on me blowing one of my friends on the living room couch. Even offered me a condom.” He laughs to himself at his own private joke, blinking down into space.

 

Based off Louis’ nosy research, Tom’s mum is called Madeline so he knows Maria’s not his mother.

 

Louis would later find out that Maria was Tom’s nanny.

 

“Well, at least you’re getting all that from your parents. You don’t even have to share.” Louis tries to brighten the mood back up but, Tom doesn’t crack a smile as he looks at Louis.

 

“My parents aren’t my parents.”

 

Louis stares at Tom as his words hit somewhere deep inside him. He doesn’t know exactly what that means for Tom but he feels it pretty hard. Wealthy families are notorious for being a little detached from each other and he can see it in Tom, even without knowing he’s ran all over this town without supervision with wads of cash since he was a kid, that this stereotype is true for him.

 

Louis would also later learn that Liam wasn’t the only kid in school raised by two women. Tom’s parents were essentially a French housemaid from Paris that’s been in his family for decades and his nanny.

 

He holds his lips in a sort of empty smile and shrugs when Louis frowns. Before he can say anything else to Tom, Kendall comes back with her arms decorated as clothing racks.

 

“Alright, I got you some really nice things here to choose from -- oh.” She stops when she sees them both sitting so close in the chair, holding her lips into a small smile.

 

“Am I… interrupting--”

 

“Yes.” Tom chirps as he smiles wide now, still with his eyes on Louis’ as he stands up.

 

“You were interrupting Louis trying to get my pants off, right?”

 

Louis looks between Tom and Kendall, who’s laughing behind him before he smiles too.

 

“Right.” He holds this intimate moment he just shared with Tom inside as he snags the pants and tosses them at Tom.

 

“Now that you mentioned it, get those lovely cheeks out.”

 

Tom doesn’t argue this time, stripping down to his underwear and getting into Louis’ tight jeans.

 

When Kendall there’s, it’s platonically intimate but the air still changes when Louis watches Tom undress.

 

Louis watches Tom like he’s undressing for _him_ and it has Tom stumbling around like he’s got crooked feet. He seemed to think he’d be more comfortable when Kendall was in the room but, he still ends up blushing through every change as Louis’ smirking eyes throw heat his way.

 

Louis never takes off his shirt or tries on the clothes he buys at all no matter how much they tried to coax him too.

 

The _real_ reason Louis insisted of being the eyes here and not the model was because he didn’t want to change in front of them and let them see his body. He didn’t have body issues but he didn’t want them to see the halter strapped from his waist to his chest. He didn’t want to explain that it’s not a bomb under his shirt but rather a little monitor keeping track _of_ the bomb ticking in his rib cage and his blood pressure.

 

Louis knew that Tom didn’t miss that there was a deeper reasoning for Louis’ modesty as he narrows his eyes at Louis a little when he laughs off saying no to Kendall trying to get him into a matching suit to her own but he didn’t ask.

 

As long as they didn’t know the truth, and he was glad they didn’t push it.

 

They didn’t need to know everything about him, like the fact that there was a loaded grenade stuck in his chest that could suddenly go off and end his life at any moment. The rapid ticking having an unknown date set for it’s detonation.

 

He didn’t need them knowing why he feels the need to be moving constantly or that his hypertension and adrenaline rushes aren’t from ADHD or that him acting so bubbly and happy 24/7 is really just a reaction to his fear of not living his life to it’s fullest potential after spending the first half of his life with an oxygen tank attached to him left him out of a lot of things normal kids got to do or why he vowed to his heart to never let one second of his day go lived unhappily. Because any second could be his last.

 

This monitor on his chest was the only secret he was gonna keep to himself for as long as he’s on this beach.

 

He didn’t even need an excuse to sit back, relax and watch Tom get naked anyways.

 

It goes without saying that eventually, he _loved_ shopping with them.

 

They were the best dressed clique in Wellington that was for sure.

 

Louis was right, Tom tells him he’s never had a genuine guy friend in high school since he came out.

 

It was one night at a bar when Tom drunkenly admitted to Louis that he _does_ have a boyfriend and all Tom’s uncomfortable tension with undressing in front of Louis finally had proper reasoning, even though Louis already guessed that. It was still interesting to actually hear it from Tom himself instead of a rumour.

 

But he’s always off his ass so, maybe he doesn’t really mean to. He acts like he’s not _allowed_ to talk about it sober.

 

“I can’t _stand_ my boyfriend.” Tom groans randomly as they watch the lights flickering over the crowded dance hall, watching two guys vogue down a small runway full of glitter.

 

They shopped all day and went straight to the club in their new clothes.

 

Tom doesn’t say Niall’s name still but, Louis doesn’t need him too.

 

_“Dump him.”_ Louis shrugs simply as he sips his glass an older gentleman down the bar paid for.

 

The club [ music ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oM_9ca8hxE)was thumping all over their bodies, tidal waves of electricity energising them to stay up longer into the night. Tom stayed leaning back against the bar with his shoulders slouched in, staring up at the light show illuminating the crowd around them.

 

Kendall, the designated driver, agreed with Louis that his boyfriend was a piece of shit and he needed to be kicked to the curb. Tom always shakes his head, smiling without comment.

 

He never gives them a reason for why he won’t leave Niall even though he’s clearly unhappy being with him.

 

“He needs me.” He tells Louis with a laugh.

 

“Isn’t that unhealthy?” Louis squints at him.

 

“Doesn’t change the fact that he needs me. I’m like air. He’ll die if I leave him. My dick gives him life.”

 

Louis smiles really wide at that little profession.

 

_‘So Tom tops...’_

 

Interestingly unexpected. On Tom’s end.

 

Niall’s overcompensating could never muffle the fact that he _screams_ bottom to Louis but… so did Tom so, he was wondering how that worked. A little gratifying to him, actually.

 

Morally right or not, it really changes Louis’ view of both of them now that he knows who does who. It makes him like Tom a whole lot better.

 

He looks even more fuckable now.

 

“I see… so a real _cocky_ motherfucker is what you are?”

 

They all laughed with tears as the boys continued to drink into the night, pretending to vogue with their hands as they mimicked the dancers on the floor.

 

It was the only time Tom didn’t mind openly talking about his boyfriend in explicit detail. When he had a few strong drinks, he got a bit jolly. Even if he never name drops him, he still talked about him constantly when he was drunk, typically the time when all your truths spill out of your mouth.

 

At school, he was much less… well, himself. He wasn’t as happy or open. Not like he was in a dressing room or at a bar.

 

Louis supposed that maybe those atmosphere’s just made him feel more vulnerable. Or maybe just talking to Louis when they’re alone. That might’ve been a factor too.

 

Louis _loved_ going out with them at night the most.

 

They both encouraged Louis’ slutty make-outs with hot strangers. Louis even got Kendall to make-out with a stripper that looked like Beyonce and had the most beautiful tits they had ever seen.

 

He supposes making out with this stripper didn’t count as gay to Kendall since she also had a dick.

 

Did you think these were straight bars?

 

Even some of Kendall’s model friends linked up with them in private clubs. Louis had never kissed a girl in his life before coming to Wellington but the first time he did was ironically in a gay bar.

 

After snorting his first ever line of coke off her stomach, Louis threw up half of his tequila after getting a taste of Bella Hadid’s tongue after it was on Kendall’s. He decided that would be his first and last line of his life.

 

He no longer had the thought that Kendall was homophobic after these wild nights. He thinks she enjoyed making out with girls and watching Louis do it more than he did.

 

She never drank. She was always the enabling driver.

 

Tom never let out his inner slut no matter how many drinks he had in him. He was always the photographer.

 

Louis was their darling angel they spoiled rotten and condemned to hell after all the things he was doing in these clubs.

 

Afterwards, they’d be getting fast food at 2 and 3 in the morning, only to have Louis come to school a few hours later, hung-over, dehydrated and _exhausted_. He was getting dark circles under his eyes. The pictures that surfaced online left no one wondering why Louis looked like a cast member of the walking dead in school every day.

 

Tom couldn’t recommend Louis his facial that kept his flawless glow because, like Louis guessed, he really was talking about getting his facial from Niall’s dick.

 

Cum is apparently a great agent for moisturising.

 

Kendall was a horrible influence on both of them and he loved her to death for it. He never thought he’d thank someone for ruining his health, beauty and financial stability to the extent she did. The memories of the previous nights were totally worth the lectures from his parents.

 

They became best friends very quickly.

 

He hung out with Zayn and Perrie only on the weekends because that was when Kendall did modeling gigs and occasionally made appearances on her sister’s reality tv show in LA.

 

“That’s it?” Perrie asks him, _astonished._

 

Louis nods as he browses through the collage on Zayn’s wall.

 

He tells her everything they do every week but, only to prove to Perrie that Kendall wasn’t the evil monster she claimed for her to be. Kendall doesn’t even drink or do any drugs at all like how Tom and Louis did. She was always the driver so, her health and beauty stayed intact.

 

“All she does is buy clothes…?”

 

“Were you expecting for me to tell you we kidnap children and sacrifice them to Satan in her basement?” Louis asks her which makes Zayn laugh.

 

They were in his room, like always. They didn’t really go out in public so as not to get Louis caught out with Kendall’s rivals.

 

Perrie and Zayn were his secret friends.

 

Zayn’s on his bed, which is actually rare that he’s even here, wearing black basketball shorts and a black wife-beater, distractedly scrolling on his phone and not paying his guests a bit of attention, as always, while Louis examines all the photos on his wall closely. Pictures of his sisters and friends as children, collected on his peach walls like a small window into the past.

 

Louis was really trying to find a photo of him and Liam somewhere.

 

There wasn’t any of them _together_ but, there were a lot of little Liam’s up here. And big Liam’s too. The oldest he looks in some are Liam at least 15 years old, one where he looks passed out on Zayn’s couch with Zayn’s two little sisters sleeping on his chest.

 

He’s surprised Zayn hasn’t burned these intimate photos.

 

As Louis searches, he actually can’t find _any_ pictures of Zayn at all. Just his sisters and friends.

 

It looks like he used to have a _lot_ of friends.

 

Right now, Zayn’s hair is all out, bulbous waves sitting pretty on his shoulders and Louis loves it when Zayn lets his hair down instead of pulled back into a bun. He wanted to see a picture of him as a child to see what he looks like with short hair.

 

He rarely let’s it down like that unless he’s at home but something about it feels less boyish and more just… _Zayn_.

 

Not a lot of boys would let their hair grow that long, especially someone that has Zayn’s dominantly soft features and effeminate face because you almost can’t tell he’s a boy when he’s cleanly shaven like he is now, especially when there’s little beaded barrettes pinning it off his face and a shimmery golden twined vine-styled headband around it like a garland.

 

He could _seriously_ pass for either when Louis sees him at home in his natural state. Louis doesn’t get how he’s so attracted to him. It’s not that he looks like a girl. Sometimes…. Zayn just doesn’t look like or remind Louis of a boy. Even just his overall vibe.

 

Obviously, he doesn’t bring this up to him or ask Perrie about it because that could be insulting.

 

Just some small observations.

 

Perrie sits in her usual spot on the floor, on the plush brown bean-bag chair next to Louis, hunched over in confusion because, yeah, she was thinking something like that. Not literally but, you know, something else more sinister than going to Nordstrom and a few gay bars and fast food joints.

 

“I just don’t get it.” Perrie shakes her head in disbelief.

 

“I never would’ve thought I’d see the day she do something without some kind of ulterior motive.”

 

Louis shrugs.

 

“People change.” He murmurs. Perrie looks over at him then, watching him squint at Zayn’s wall, concentrated on one photo that’s baffling him right now.

 

“What are you looking at?”

 

“Does Z have twin sisters?” He asks as he picks it off the wall.

 

There’s 3 girls, one blonde that Louis knows is Perrie jumping over the heads of two dark haired girls sitting back to back on the porch of this very house, no older than 10 or 11 years old.

 

He thinks the one smiling is Doniya, wearing a purple hijab to cover her black hair peeking through outside.

 

The other one isn’t wearing a scarf on her head at all, in old black and white chuck taylors that have been littered with graffiti is in matching denim overalls with roses embroidered on them, frowning at the camera with her cheek squished in her hand, dark messy hair all over the place while her near identical sister laughs as she leans against her back.

 

Their faces aren’t actually identical if Louis looks close but… they are without a doubt sisters.

 

There’s no way they aren’t.

 

When Louis turns it over, it’s captioned with _D, Z. & P. _

 

Louis brows come together as the hairs all over his arms raise, eyes slowly growing wide as this child’s face finally pulls at some familiar gears.

 

“Wait a second… ” He looks at the floral head band on the grumpy one’s head and the freckles across the nose, almond shaped eyes half-closed but still wide with nothing even remotely innocent.

 

The long, wild hair might be well past the shoulders and matching with the other two girls outfits but this _isn’t_ a girl.

 

“Oh, they’re not identical twins. People always used to think that.” Perrie snorts when she looks at it.

 

Louis suddenly remembers that Doniya is Zayn's _fraternal_ twin sister. Which means...  _th_ _is is Zayn._

 

“Whoa…” Louis does a few double-takes at the wall.

 

This “little girl” in all the pictures isn’t a tomboy, it’s fucking Zayn! And Louis suddenly finds a _bunch_ of him and Liam as kids.

 

_“Holy shit… this is_ … _Zay?”_ He whispers as he picks off another of them in halloween costumes.

 

Liam is dressed as Finn the Human, goofy why bunny hat and a fake sword held into the air as he piggy back rides on Zayn, dressed as Marshall Lee the vampire, the characters Louis knows from the cartoon Adventure time with a plaid red shirt instead of Marceline, Zayn’s running up a block, laughing his head off. They look fairly young. His hair is braided back.

 

The date is 5 years ago.

 

Louis isn’t even in a position to marvel at how happy they look in candids. He’s now too distracted as his full attention is overtaken with staring at all the pictures of _Zayn._

 

It’s not even just the fact that his hair is so long or always braided with flowers and sparkly headbands and clips that doesn’t make him look like a boy. His whole _look._ It’s so… _different._

 

Louis can’t even explain what it is. He’s not wearing dresses or anything but everything he really does _not_ look like a boy at all.

 

Overalls. Little shorts and tank tops. Polka dot rainboots. Always got flowers in his hair.

 

If something’s not not boyish or girly, Louis is lost. He’s never seen something so ambiguous. It’s giving him whiplash.

 

He _has_ to ask about this now because there was clearly something going on here.

 

One thing that is a dead giveaway that this is indeed Zayn: his expression. Or lack of, that is. That blank look and hard eyes that registers nothing.

 

You can tell that he hates taking photos. He either hides half his face with his hands or hair, covers his eyes or stares blankly at the camera with that stoic, emotionless look he still often has to this very day.

 

Perrie stands up and reviews photos with him.

 

“No, this is _before_ Zayn was “Zay”.” She rolls her eyes as she says that mockingly.

 

“When _‘he’_ was just _Ze_.” She tells him with her mouth flattened. Louis looks over at her in confusion.

 

“What do you mean _was_ Z?”

 

Before she can answer, Zayn glances up at them staring at his wall, frowning a little as he sits up on the bed and reaches for the back of Louis’ shirt, pulling him back onto his bed. He takes the picture of him and Liam out of his hand and tosses it.

 

“I have something to show you guys.” He smiles, flopping down onto his stomach as he drapes his arm around Louis’ waist, his hair getting that sweet flowery taste all in Louis’ air.

 

Louis looks at Zayn with wide eyes as he scrolls on his phone.

 

He’s looked at those pictures a hundred times and never realised he was looking right at Zayn. Looking at him now feels like he’s just got a shit load of background for something that is still extremely… _ambiguous_.

 

His past.

 

“What is it?” Perrie sighs as she sits back in her bean bag.

 

“I think I might know why Kendall is bringing Lou everywhere with her with Tommy.” He says as Louis gets comfortable, laying on his belly like Zayn, side by side.

 

As he’s looking over Zayn’s face closely, Zayn absently places his chin on Louis’ shoulder.

 

He can see a clear Adam’s apple.

 

_‘Okay, he’s not trans… ’_

 

Perrie and Louis both wait for him to go on, Louis starting to grin at how the air from Zayn’s nose tickles his neck, blowing Zayn’s hair off his nose.

 

“Is it a conspiracy?” Louis suggests, Zayn moves his head from side to side, flashing his phone screen at the both of them

 

“You could say that. I’ve been doing some extensive research, as you can see here,”

 

Louis and Perrie both look closely at Zayn’s “research” which was just him googling _‘what is a GBF’._

 

“You think Kendall is using me as her G.B.F.?” Louis asks. Zayn shakes his head no, his gold chain kissing _Zay_ into Louis’ cheek as he leans up to show Perrie.

 

“No silly, she’s got Tommy for that. I think she’s using you to try to be the potential bf for her gbf.” He quips, bopping him in the nose lightly with his finger.

 

“Bf to her gbf?” Perrie repeats, completely lost in the acronyms now. Louis was with her on that. Zayn rolls his eyes and points to the screen.

 

“Bf means boyfriend. As in boyfriend for her gay best friend? Just read the post.” he says in annoyance as he folds a lock of loose hair behind his ear that always falls right back out and zooms into one paragraph

 

Louis reads it aloud.

 

_“The GBF is a fashion accessory mainly found adorning city women having risen to popularity in London in the late 90's. GBF's are prized for having acute fashion sense and therefore suitable for shopping trips. Also known for better understanding the mysteries of female nature and therefore a good Agony Uncle and conversationalist.”_

 

“I could’ve looked that up on urban dictionary myself, Z.” Perrie says dismissively. “She doesn’t need Louis for that.”

 

“Exactly.” Zayn closes it.

 

“ _That’s Tom_.”

 

“Then what am I?” Louis asks now.

 

Zayn smiles at that question, snorting a little to himself.

 

“He said, _What am I_.” Zayn says to Perrie, who bursts out laughing as they share a private joke. Louis quirks his eyebrows at her with a smile.

 

“Didn’t know that was a joke…”

 

“No, that’s a great question.” Perrie shakes her head after clearing her throat as she looks at Zayn.

 

“What is Louis?”

 

They don’t explain the inside joke as they get back into the topic at hand.

 

“The _boyfriend.”_ Zayn says finally, smirking at Louis.

 

“This is about Kendall trying to get _Lou_ and _Tommy_ together.”

 

“Why would she want to do that?”

 

“Think about it. Tom is her _gay_ best friend. That means he needs a boyfriend. Not a fuck-boy. So suddenly, a decent pretty-boy who happens to _also_ be gay strolls in, free of all the baggage the abominable heathens at Wellington have and there goes a great opportunity for Tom to leave Niall. Louis would make him the perfect boyfriend. You’re like… the whole package.” Zayn explains.

 

Louis and Perrie both gape at him.

 

“And you got all that from googling “gay best friend?” Louis says. He decides he _hates_ this term. He’s _no one’s_ fashion accessory.

 

Zayn shakes his head

 

“Not entirely but google _is_ a pretty handy tool that can really take you a long way.”

 

“I thought you didn’t know what a boyfriend was?” Louis squints, ignoring Zayn’s smart-ass sarcasm as all this stuff Zayn just said is making him realise just how much he still doesn’t know about Zayn.

 

As a person, he’s only got small insights to how he thinks and views things but, this particular conversation is telling Louis that Zayn is pretty damn observant.

 

He doesn’t even know what Zayn’s interests are. Hobbies or goals… most of the art stuff is just him helping Perrie when she asks him too cause he’s good a drawing but other than that, Zayn is just a giant question mark.

 

Perrie rolls her eyes.

 

“Not knowing what a “boyfriend” is, is just his dickhead way of saying he will never be _anyone’s_ boyfriend.”

 

“ _Perrie.”_ Zayn’s face evens out into a warning shot at her so she only tiffs, crossing her arms and looking away.

 

They have too many telepathic conversations for Louis to follow. He seriously wishes he met them sooner so he could be in on all these inside things, not that Perrie is even in on many either.

 

The majority of the time throughout the week, Louis doesn’t even think Zayn is in school at all. He completely falls off the radar, just like Perrie said he would. Especially when those days come up on his calendar and he’s _totally_ gone for 2 or more days before and back no sooner than at least a whole day after. He still manages to pick Louis up from NHS though.

 

One of the days is actually tomorrow which is why Louis is so _shocked_ that Zayn is still here right now.

 

Louis only really sees him when he picks him up after school and on some weekends. Some weekends, it’s just he and Perrie.

 

They may as well not even go to the same school. Even their rumours have died down by now as no one ever sees them together but the one time so it’s been reduced to a hook-up.

 

Perrie told Louis not to ask where he goes because he’ll just evade the questions.

 

Louis has been trying really hard to respect his privacy about his life and not stalk him but it all honesty, the newer revelations he learns about Zayn, the more Louis just wants to stalk his whole life until he knows everything.

 

Even the pictures of him as a child are so telling to something Louis wants to know more about because he knows that something clearly changed with him. He feels like he’s just learned something _massive_ without any real context.

 

You’d think Zayn would be the last person anyone should be taking relationship advice from but, he speaks about this stuff like he’s got all the experience and knowledge in the world.

 

He didn’t usually engage in these little chats about Kendall with Perrie and Louis.

 

Zayn shakes his head again as he rolls his green eyes dismissively. That seems to be his favourite colour for eyes lately. Louis was almost thinking his eyes might’ve been a really dark shade of blue behind his contacts, like Safaa’s but _now_ Louis knows his eyes are actually _amber_ based off the pictures and he actually thinks the natural looks way better on him.

 

“Dude, you can listen to me and take my word seriously or not. I’m just trying to help you out so you’re informed here cause you’re going down a really bad road with Tom and Kendall either way this is going to turn out.” He says seriously.

 

“I kinda already had a suspicion when you first told us she dragged Niall in front of everyone for you. Cause it wasn’t for you. It was obvious that was for Tom. She doesn’t do stuff like that at random. It’s just become more obvious to me _now_ since she only brings you out with her and _Tommy_. If it were really about her liking you enough to want you in her friend group, she’d take you out with her other friends too, not just him. Or put you on the committee at least. I’ll be honest with you, you look like shit right now. I can tell you binge drink and party all night just from looking at your face. It’s all over your face that you’ve been running on 2 hours of sleep cause you barely look awake in the halls. She’s draining you of life, time, money and doing anything else with your life that isn’t revolving it around elevating hers. Either she really fucking hates you or she’s trying to hook you up with Tom, cause she did the exact same thing to him. Neither one of those outcomes is something you want to get too deeply involved with.” Zayn says simply.

 

It’s then that Louis realises that Zayn really is _way_ smarter and observant than he seems because now, he sounds like Perrie. Only… Zayn actually makes sense. Logical, strategic sense that Louis wouldn’t even think of.

 

He also sounds like he’s totally against the idea of Louis being “involved” with Tom.

 

Even him quietly googling shit behind them while they gossip without knowing he’s listening or even paying attention to them makes Louis wonder what _else_ Zayn knows that he’s not telling them.

 

He’s too quiet.

 

This low-profile of his had too many secrets.

 

Perrie must be used to it. She just nods, the gears finally connecting in her head too.

 

“You know what, I think you’re right. That totally sounds like something she’d do!” She says, almost satisfied that it wasn’t for the pure reasoning Louis had been trying to convince her of.

 

Now that Zayn put it that way, it _was_ kind of weird that Kendall didn’t take Louis anywhere else unless it was just with Tom, and now he felt… slightly used.

 

Here he thought his winning personality had drawn Kendall in but no. He was just the shiny new object that looked appealing enough to go with her gbf.

 

The accessory to Kendall’s accessory.

 

He wasn’t signing up for that and he wasn’t looking for a relationship with anyone in this place. He assures Zayn that he’s not interested in dating Tom which visibly relieves Zayn, much to Louis’ amusement.

 

The dating scene in Wellington appeared to be totally fucked.

 

There wasn’t one real couple he’d seen aside from Stan and Jade, who’d been together since they were toddlers but they were like that 1 in a billion pair that found their soulmate before they died.

 

Other than that, literally everyone else would check either “It’s Complicated”, “open” or “We’re Just Fucking” as their relationship status.

 

The closest Louis’ come to getting laid with anyone in _school_ was Zayn but Perrie made them agree to stop their annoying flirting and frolicking in front of her from now on… which meant they had to stop flirting completely because whenever Louis was with Zayn, she was there too.

 

One out of 3 fuckable guys crossed off his list, sadly.

 

Louis would be hitting off with Zayn like the rumours claimed by now but, they’re unfortunately never alone together for longer than a 10 minute car ride. Not that that was an impossible task to get in the back of his car but… Zayn never makes a move, even if Louis does just like the first day.

 

Even without Zayn jokingly alluding to them hooking up, _Louis_ knows he’s really into him. _Now_ he knows Zayn pays way more attention to Louis than he thought.

 

It reminds him of when he let out that he actually talks about Louis with Perrie the first day they met. But Zayn never asks him out or moves towards really acting on anything so, Louis is left a bit disappointed with the platonic nature their friendship has been settling into because Zayn always has a hag there killing the whole mood or acts uninterested when it really comes down to it when they’re alone for the short time they are.

 

For now, Zayn just remains as one of the unattainable objects of Louis’ late night wank fantasies.

 

Louis even goes for it when Zayn drops him off and asks him to come too the party this weekend with him but, Zayn has “stuff” to do this weekend so he couldn’t.

 

Louis takes that as a serious excuse, refusing to think this is rejection.

 

From that point on, Louis was hyper-aware of how he behaved around both Tom and Kendall, trying to see if he’d garner any reaction out of them if he started acting like he was more interested in him than before. Less in the “joking” flirty kind of way he does with everyone and more of the _I-want-to-fuck-you-Zayn-style_ kind of way.

 

It mostly bemused Tom than anything else.

 

Kendall didn’t seem to notice at all. Or if she did, she was amazingly inscrutable.

 

Friday at school as Louis is on his way to the cafe lawn, he sees Tom down the hall in his usual pose. Camera up to his face and pointed at the subject of his eyes desire that Louis can’t see from here, seemingly taking a picture of someone around the corner.

 

There aren’t many people down there and Louis doesn’t think he’s ever been that way before.

 

Curiously, as he makes his way down, gearing to spook Tom from behind, Louis pauses when he gets a peek at where Tom’s camera is pointing.

 

His heart _pounds._

 

It’s Zayn and Liam. _Talking to each other._

 

He looks up at the ceiling quickly to see what hall this is.

 

_‘Music wing?’_

 

A memory suddenly occurs to him then of when Zayn informed him that if he ever wanted to “eat lunch together” throughout the day, he’d find him in the music room. Which must be right _there._

 

_‘So he_ **_does_ ** _come to school.’_

 

Surprising, seeing that this day is marked on his calendar.

 

He looks back at Zayn and Liam again with wide eyes, the afterthought of wondering if Zayn is the _other_ kind of artist sitting at the back of his mind.

 

The kind of artist that sings and makes music. It’s only just occurred to Louis that Perrie said they were here on a “music and arts,” scholarship.

 

Zayn had to be the music half of the arts. He sure keeps _this_ well hidden, just like everything else in his life of course. He doesn’t mention anything about being into music at all.

 

This is the most un-shocking, _shocking_ thing Louis has ever come to across.

 

The most shocking thing being that he’s actually watching Zayn look at and talk to Liam. He’s never even seen Zayn in the hallway before unless he was with Perrie.

 

Now, his companion is Liam.

 

They’re not exactly having a super engrossing conversation.

 

Zayn is hanging out of a door with a large deep-red beanie covering half his head, mahogany coloured, with a big black sweatshirt swallowing his whole upper body. Shaggy sweat pants. Old, comfy trainers. He didn’t even shave today so his beard is quite full.

 

Not his usual _stylish_ look. He looks pretty snuggly, even holding a cup of starbucks in his hand.

 

There is no light on the other side of the door, like he’s standing before Liam in his own dark void.

 

The same void Louis dreams about him standing in.

 

A sign that reads **_STUDIO_ ** is above the threshold while Liam stands outside, very neat and put together compared to Zayn but bounced on his heels and holding what looks like two envelopes behind his back as he talks to Zayn.

 

Louis notices Liam does that with his feet when he’s nervous. In fact, his body language _screams_ uncomfortable while Zayn looks totally relaxed.

 

Liam’s eyes are to the ground and his fingers are digging holes into the envelopes with Zayn looking at him with the blank expression as they have the most unanimated conversation Louis has ever seen in his life.

 

Zayn wears no expression, as per usual. But now Louis thinks this is just Zayn’s normal resting face.

 

Liam looks nervous as shit, as per usual.

 

The amount of space that’s between them… _unusual_. If Liam leaned in just a few inches, they’d be kissing.

 

And then there’s Tom, _spying_ on them as he sneakily watches around the corner, snapping photos.

 

Louis’ not gonna lie, Tom looks like a creepy stalker right now.

 

When Tom seems to get all that he needs, he turns away and Louis _dives_ into the ground to not get caught, back plastered to a line of lockers.

 

Tom walks right past him like he’s invisible, the oldest trick in the book when hiding in plain sight.

 

Actually, Tom _speeds_ right past Louis, discreet enough to not look totally suspicious to anyone that looks at him without context but too obvious to Louis, who has context in the fact that he was just doing something he shouldn’t have and is now getting the hell out of dodge before he can be caught.

 

Louis shakes his head as he watches Tom speed walking down the deserted hall until he quickly disappears outside to the cafe lawn.

 

Very slowly, Louis leans over to see if Zayn and Liam are still there or maybe retrieved into the small dark room.

 

They still in the same place, nothing indicating that they’re aware of being watched.

 

He stands up then and leans on the wall, squinting to see if he can tell what they’re saying by the movement of their lips.

 

Zayn is very succinct in his responses to Liam and Louis can just _tell_ Liam is stuttering through his words. After not too long, Liam takes the envelopes out from behind his back to offer to Zayn but, Zayn only shakes his head, seemingly rejecting it as Liam falters with it in his hand, nodding slowly before finally going to turn away, bouncing his envelopes in his hands, dejection on every inch of his body as his eyes are squeezed closed as he walks away.

 

Louis springs off the wall then, ignoring the thumping trying to break out of his chest as he goes back down the hall because he has a feeling that chancing to go unnoticed twice in a row around this corner will not be happening in his favour today.

 

He’s _almost_ to the door when there’s a shout a little ways behind him.

 

_“Louis!”_

 

There’s not a lot of people here called that for him to pretend like they’re talking to someone else so, he acts like he doesn’t hear it and keeps walking, chewing through his bottom lip and feeling sweat collecting under his pits.

 

Feet pad towards him now and the sound of his heart has never been more clear in his ears than today.

 

_‘Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit shit--’_

 

When his hand touches the door, he almost thinks he’s gonna get free but, right behind his back now, his name is undeniably heard.

 

“Lou,”

 

Louis gathers his face into the most clueless look he can muster, finding his inner Eleanor. He turns around and does the fakest double-take of his life, then smiles at Liam like he’s surprised to see him.

 

“Liam?”

 

This actually becomes genuine surprise on his face. Liam has only spoke to Louis without being forced to once and that was about 3 weeks ago so he’s a bit caught off guard here.

 

“Hey!” Liam smiles at him, that familiar look of hurt after crossing paths with Zayn seen clear for Louis, reflecting behind Liam’s eyes even as he tries to smile through it.

 

Thankfully this time, Louis is happy that these sad puppy eyes are not his fault. But, of course, he feels bad because he basically just watched Liam get the rejection of a lifetime.

 

His eyes glance at the envelopes getting crushed in Liam’s hands.

 

_‘Two tickets to the dance holy fuck--’_

 

“I know this is super random but, I was wondering if I could ask a favour from you?”

 

Louis’ eyes dart back up to Liam now, still smiling despite his empathetic heart getting crushed with those tickets, because he knows without a doubt Liam just chanced offering Zayn one in what was possibly a moment he asked him out and Zayn without a doubt said no.

 

Behind Liam as he’s talking, Louis notices _Zayn_ coming down the hall.

 

He’s had a wardrobe change.

 

He’s ditched the cute beanie so the glorious hair is out, but it’s still hidden, pulled back in his usual bun with a dark red headband, decorated in pink and yellow rosy flowers holding it back. His oversized sweats has been replaced with an old, white band-tshirt, frayed at the collar and ripped skinny jeans and, of course, sleeves ripped off so his tats are all on their badass display so he looks like a rockstar again, an older pair of red biker boots scoffing the ground up and leaving a trail behind him in his relaxed gait. Bag lazily slung over his shoulder in one hand, school blazer dragging across the ground in his other.

 

All Louis can think now is how _different_ he dresses compared to how he used to even just two years ago.

 

Distinctively masculine.

 

Despite his forever relaxed mannerisms, his face looks distraught, scrunched up like he’s deep in thought before he shakes his head to himself and rolls his eyes as he makes his way down.

 

He catches sight of Louis about to cross his path so he stops. They lock eyes for a moment as Louis is still all smiles. It is _impossible_ to read Zayn. His face is so blank, he doesn’t even return Louis’ smile. And then, his eyes shift and he sees that Louis is talking to _Liam._

 

Of course, Zayn leaves now, only nodding towards Louis before he walks right out the front door, leaving school mid-day.

 

Louis doesn’t frown, keeping his face attentive and he zeroes back into focus of Liam in front of him as if he’s actually listening to anything he’s saying since he’s still talking.

 

“Would that be alright with you? I’ve asked everyone in NHS and no one is free.” Liam finishes with anxious brows coming together.

 

Louis heard absolutely none of what he said. But he smiles and nods as if he did.

 

“Yeah!” He agrees, uber bright. Liam’s face washes over with relief as he sighs into relaxation, then smiles.

 

“Thank God, you’re seriously a lifesaver.” He sighs. “This is great! He’ll be so happy, his grades are _shit_. I’ll give him your number so he can text you. He’s coming Monday, you can start then. Cool?”

 

Louis keeps his now painful smile in place as he nods again.

 

“Okay.”

 

He could be very much agreeing to let Liam sell off his internal organs to someone. He refuses to ask him to repeat himself after one full minute of straight up lying to his face.

 

Liam backs away finally, waving.

 

“See you tomorrow then!” He chirps.

 

“Tomorrow?” Louis’ smile breaks into confusion now.

 

“Yeah, Leigh’s party. You’re going right?”

 

Louis nods quickly then as this is unrelated to whatever the fuck he just agreed to do for Liam, remembering that his first high school mixer was taking place this weekend after weeks of being pushed back to accommodate for the weather.

 

It was gonna be scorching hot tomorrow. A perfect day for drunk people to gather around a pool and try not to drown.

 

He agrees that he’ll definitely see him there and finally gets out of the building.

 

*

 

None of the lunch table noticed how late Louis was or the edgeness he sits in as he battles against a few hundred questions. He’s back into wondering about the mystery of Zayn Malik.

 

Why hasn’t he ever mentioned to Louis that he works in a _music_ studio at school?

 

Most importantly, what the _fuck_ did Louis agree to get himself into?

 

This is a question he should’ve asked the day he almost died coming to this school. It seems the crazy road to an unknown destination was only just starting.

 

At lunch, instead of stressing over his stress, Louis focuses on his G.B.F and his G.B.F.’s G.B.F. and his hags, testing to see if Zayn and Perrie’s theory is founded.

 

He laughs harder at Tom’s jokes and makes any excuse to touch him, hand on the shoulder, the fake “you’ve got an eyelash or something on your cheek, let me get it off”, and even making sinfully lewd side comments like how Zayn does, adding innuendos in his words.

 

“You know, I’ve been here for all of 3 or so weeks and still not seen any real action worth all the talk around here.” Louis says casually as he snacks on a banana.

 

He’s not actually eating it.

 

“Well, Leigh-Anne Pinnock’s pool party is this weekend so, you’ll see _plenty_ of action there.” Eleanor tells him from across the table.

 

Louis always sits next to Kendall while the rest sit on the other side, Tom being right in the middle of Eleanor and Lottie now, which means Tom is sitting directly across from Louis, which is more than perfect.

 

Louis picks up the banana on his tray and looks directly at Tom as he speaks

 

“If it’s the kind of action I’m talking about, I hope you’re there.” He says lowly, pushing the banana into his mouth while keeping direct eye contact with Tom.

 

Tom nearly swallows the whole bottle of water, kicking Louis _hard_ under the table as he chokes on it, making him yelp in pain while Lottie and Eleanor both try not to laugh. Kendall doesn’t bat an eye, too engrossed in reading the labels on her food.

 

“A hundred and twenty calories and 48 calories from fat. What percent is that?” She asks suddenly. Lottie tilts her head.

 

“48 into 120?”

 

“I’m only eating foods with less than 30 percent calories from fat. I have like 500 fucking photoshoots next month and I need to lose 10 pounds.” Kendall explains in annoyance.

 

Louis wants to tell her to just try coke. He doesn’t think she’ll find that joke very funny. He does some quick mental math instead.

 

“Its 40 percent.” Louis admonishes without a second thought. They all look at him with mook expressions.

 

“48 over 120 equals x over 100 and then you cross multiply and get the value of x,” He explains further but it’s lost on them. He was always great at mathematics and it had nothing to do with his photographic memory.

 

Total recall doesn’t really work the same with numbers. It just multiplies in his head on it’s own like a calculator.

 

With the way they all look at him, he might as well had just started speaking Russian.

 

“Whatever, I’m getting cheese fries.” Kendall says, standing up to get more food, despite that totally defeating the purpose of her diet.

 

Lottie goes up with her leaving Louis alone with just Tom and Eleanor. As soon as Kendall is out of earshot, Tom narrows his eyes at Louis.

 

“I don’t know what the fuck’s gotten into you lately but you understand that _I have a boyfriend_ … right?” He says slowly, not beating around the bush at all.

 

Louis tries to act like he doesn’t know what Tom is talking about

 

“What do you mean what’s gotten into me?”

 

“Don’t play dumb. You’re a horrible liar and not as good an actor as you think.”

 

Louis sighs.The jig was up.

 

“Okay, so I was coming onto you. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

 

“Why would I want you when I’ve told you I have a boyfriend?”

 

Louis quirks an eyebrow at him, not at all offended.

 

“I thought it was like an open-relationship type of thing…”

 

“It is!” Tom says defensively, rolling his eyes.

 

Louis officially thinks Tom is a fucking liar now and he tells him exactly that.

 

“Being in an open-relationship doesn’t mean I have to sleep around with other guys no matter how hot they are.” He tells him matter-of-factly.

 

It suddenly occurs to Louis that this is the first time Tom has ever talked about this without being drunk.

 

He gloats internally with the knowledge that Tom was attracted to him but used the weird terms of his fucked up relationship as an excuse for not acting on it. The weird terms being that Tom acts like he’s not allowed to partake in the _open_ bit of this “open-relationship” but Niall is, which is seriously beyond fucked up if that’s really the terms of their relationship.

 

Louis gets really _bitter_ , really _insecure_ cluelessly closeted dickhead vibes from Niall and he doesn’t understand why Tom is with him at all because his dick game sounds less than exciting to Louis with the way Tom says he’s “better on his back” than anything else.

 

That just means to Louis that Niall is shit full-stop so questioning why they’re together when he’s not satisfying Tom sexually or emotionally is just as clashing and confusing as asking them what they even are to each other.

 

“Wasn’t that the whole point in Kendall inviting me to hang out with you all the time?”

 

Tom and Eleanor exchange a look that confirms exactly that.

 

“What makes you think that?” Eleanor asks anyways. Louis rolls his eyes.

 

“Oh come on. I’m not stupid. Why else would she want me here or _conveniently_ leave us in dressing rooms to get naked in? New kid shows up and outs himself to the whole school within the first 2 days of arrival so she sets me up with the only other out guy here?”

 

Louis repeats almost exactly of what Zayn said to him.

 

“I’m not gonna lie, Kendall probably is hoping that I see someone else but that’s more because she hates him. I can assure you I’m not that huge of a priority on her mind right now.” Tom admits.

 

“Then, what is?”

 

Tom and Eleanor both pull pinched expressions, quickly glancing back at Kendall to see how far away she is.

 

“Why does it have to be a reason? Did it ever occur to you that she just likes you?” Tom reasons with.

 

Yeah. It did occur to Louis, until Perrie and Zayn got into his head and made him all paranoid.

 

Louis doesn’t say that of course. So he nods. It’s not like he’s _acting_ like he’s thirsting for Tom.

 

Louis’ considered the probability of them probably hooking up several times, anytime they were together and this awkward moment would happen when there was some kind of unseen tension between them but, Tom usually acts like it’s not there.

 

He was kind of bitchy but he was funny. Cool personality, extremely talented, and _very_ handsome. Tom was a total catch. Louis loved spending time with him. Until now, Louis figured Tom wasn’t interested in that way at all and he couldn’t imagine them as anything more than friends because of that. Now, Louis can revise that notion a bit.

 

He couldn’t see them as anything more than friends…. as long as Niall was around.

 

“New pact,” Tom crosses his hands over each other as he smiles at Louis.

 

“I’m not blind. Sure, you’re really hot and have a really great ass, so what.” He starts bluntly and Louis and Eleanor both burst out laughing before he can continue, which makes him laugh too.

 

“BUT,” He continues over them.

 

“It is POSSIBLE for two hot boys to be attracted to each other in a friendly way that means they enjoy each other’s company _without_ hooking-up just as a straight guy and a girl can be nothing more than friends.”

 

“I beg to differ.” Eleanor snorts as she takes out a makeup compact and touches up her face.

 

“Girls and boys can’t be friends. _Especially_ if there’s attraction. One gets emotional and catches feelings and they either fuck or lose their friendship totally.”

 

Louis has to nod in total agreement with her on that one.

 

He thinks, at some point, even with a guy and a girl, something is bound to happen. Whether it’s just with one or both of them. One way or another, the friendship changes. It’s basic biology.

 

Tom completely disagrees with them.

 

“Straight girls and boys can totally be friends guys!”

 

He seems hell bent on insisting this so, Louis goes along with Tom’s “pact”.

 

“Like Kenny and Haz?” Eleanor pointedly looks at Tom now.

 

“Because that turned out _so_ well.”

 

“Kenny and who?” Louis squints but they ignore him as they continue to debate this.

 

“No, that was different. He was too stroppy. They were bound to happen and fail.” He counters.

 

Louis stops squinting at him as he smiles now.

 

“Soooo, you’re saying you’d _fuck_ me but--”

 

“We’re _friends.”_ Tom cuts him off with a smile. Eleanor rolls her eyes.

 

“I like having a boy friend that isn’t my _boyfriend_.” Tom explains further and Louis understands why he’s saying this now.

 

Thinking about all things they do together, Louis knows he can’t hang with Kendall or even Niall like that so, he gets why Tom wants it like this. He rarely gets to have this kind of bond with someone.

 

A platonic bond. No sex, no hag. Just friends.

 

2 out of 3 fuckable guys, gone from Louis’ list just like that.

 

Louis glances over at Niall, sitting a few tables over from them, laughing with the jocks, wishing he’d disappear now.

 

But then again, it appears that Tom actually does want a boyfriend. Just not two. Louis doesn’t want a boyfriend at all. He just wants someone to ride with. So maybe he and Tom staying friends is for the better since he can’t do casual.

 

“Okay.” Louis shrugs simply as he looks back at Tom again.

 

Tom sticks his right hand out for Louis to seal the agreement, which Louis firmly grasps as they smile at each other, their matching watches blinging diamonds in the light.

 

“So we’re not hooking up.” Tom reiterates.

 

_“Yet.”_ Eleanor coughs into her tiny fist and they all laugh now.

 

Louis will count how many days that lasts.

 

“Since we’re sort of on the topic,” Tom moves on now, smiling “Have you seen any guys you think are cute yet?”

 

Ah, guy talk finally.

 

“Y’know besides Tom.” Eleanor adds with a flip of her golden highlights, which makes Louis snort.

 

“Uh, actually yeah. There’s this guy in my calculus class I have a slight crush on.”

 

“What’s his name??” Tom excitedly urges. “I’ll tell you if he swings.”

 

Louis briefly wonders how Tom knows who “swings” when he’s been exclusive to Niall for the last 4 years.

 

“Harry Styles. He’s on the football team.”

 

The _main_ object to Louis’ late night fantasies and top of his list for guys he wants to ride into the sunset on.

 

Sad green eyes and plump pink, wet lips he dreams about flying over the beach with almost every night now.

 

They don’t talk much but Harry is the literal guy of Louis’ dreams.

 

Eleanor and Tom both immediately gasp in horror.

 

“No!”

 

“Oh my god, no…” Eleanor squeaks, shaking her head quickly.

 

“You can’t like Harry. That’s Kendall’s ex-boyfriend!”

 

Louis feels his heart try to explode in his chest.

 

“They went out for a year.”

 

The explosion tries to take over his bodily functions as he suddenly doesn’t remember how to blink or move.

 

“Yeah, and then she was devastated when he broke up with her at the beginning of the summer.” Tom continues to take as ax to Louis’ already suffering heart.

 

“I thought she dumped him for Calvin Rodgers?” Eleanor says to Tom but he shushes her.

 

“ _Regardless_ , anybody Kendall goes out with is just off limits to friends. That’s like, the rules of feminism.”

 

Louis finally blinks and frowns as a horrible thought occurs to him.

 

_That’s_ the bitch who kicked Harry’s heart in the dick?

 

He only had one class with Harry so, he didn’t see him at all that much throughout his time here but the one hour window he did get, he milked the best out of it and it was very much his favourite part of his day.

 

He _loved_ making Harry laugh. It was the best feeling in the world to see his dimple pop and his curls get tossed back whenever he smiled or giggled or anything else he did that Louis found cute. Which was everything as long as he wasn’t frowning. Even sitting in his own little quiet bubble was really cute.

 

Knowing he’d just got out a relationship made it so much more rewarding to see him smile.

 

He could really feel the connection they could have that he’s built in his imagination but he hadn’t worked up the nerve to actually ask him out or even just his number. He’d feel his heart skipping beats whenever he attempted and he’d end up in the washroom, checking his holter monitor that was always strapped to his chest to literally make sure his heart wasn’t beating too fast, only shocked to find it beating at a normal rate.

 

Not normal for Louis rate, but a _normal_ normal rate, something it hadn’t done since he was a baby.

 

That was the thing with heart abnormalities. They kind of did their own thing most of the time and Louis didn’t know what to make of this right now.

 

Eventually, it’d right itself again and he’d feel the familiar thump of his rapid heart beat again. But ever so often, when he was around Harry, weights sat on his heart and it’d physically slow down.

 

Whatever the hell that means, he was starting to like the strange feeling just as much as he liked Harry.

 

Right now however, he kind of wanted to cry or stab Kendall in the saggy tit or both.

 

It wasn’t fair that Harry was straight. Louis swears he was feeling Louis just as much as Louis was feeling him. Of course that was Louis’ overactive imagination.

 

“Don’t worry. We won’t tell Kendall what you said.” Eleanor assures him. “It’ll be our little secret.”

 

Louis smiles at them, gratefully. That’d be embarrassing if word got around that Louis had a silly crush on Harry.

 

“Anyone else besides he-who-will-not-be-named?” Tom asks. Louis only thinks briefly before laughing at the first thought.

 

“Just _Zay_ I guess.” He laughs, expecting them to laugh with him because you know, because, duh, it’s Zayn but, Tom makes a strange expression.

 

His smile vanishes as a deep frown carves into his face. One that Louis can only describe as mildness, that strange mixture of dread with a hint of enmity and contempt.

 

“Oh what? Is he someone’s ex-boyfriend too?”

 

Tom holds his lip in, frowning even more, which means _yes_.

 

Obviously, he’s Liam’s ex-boyfriend.

 

Louis isn’t really sure if Tom actually knows about what happened to them. He must know _something._ He was back there taking pictures of them, spying and minding their business just like Louis was.

 

Tom and Liam are both socialites and they have the same circle of friends so, Louis knows that Tom knows Liam pretty well because they are two rare people that grew up here from birth and most likely share the same childhood.

 

If not friends, they’re at least acquaintances.

 

Louis would later learn that not only were Tom and Liam once best friends as children but they even shared the same bed and a nanny often, from birth to about 10 years old along with Leigh-Anne, Josh, Jade, Stan, Andy, Sofia, Melissa and Eleanor.

 

The _original_ socialites that were born here is quite a small circle but they all grew up together. High school just turned them into separate cliques.

 

Some of them are still friends. Some of them _pretend_ they’re still friends.

 

Eleanor looks at him quizzically as well.

 

Obviously, Tom knows something she doesn’t know either.

 

That was Tom’s thing. He knew everything about everyone. Given the way he takes _pictures_ of everything, Louis could see this reputation being 1,000% true. Louis should’ve figured that included knowing things about the enigma that was Zayn that no one else knew.

 

A picture tells a thousands words, right?

 

Everything about this look and reaction to Louis just simply saying his name tells him that Tom knows the truth about Zayn.

 

“You... _hung out_ with Z, yeah?” He asks, instead of answering the boyfriend question.

 

Louis nods tentatively, not sure if Tom thinks Louis hanging out with Zayn meant actually hanging out or the kind of _hanging out_ that’s accompanied by wiggling eyebrows like how everyone else thinks.

 

“Just… be careful with Ze. They’re usually just looking for something to do.”

 

“Be careful with Zayn?” Louis squints, a little confused at Tom’s weird way of referring to him and _they_. Tom nods.

 

It’s obvious what he’s talking about for what Louis should be careful about with Zayn.

 

Not succumbing to his sexual prose.

 

That wasn’t a problem. Perrie was a cockblock and nipped that in the bud before it could really get anywhere because Zayn doesn’t even want Louis anymore.

 

For some reason, the way Tom says that alludes to something a bit deeper about Zayn that Louis should be careful of. But he doesn’t elaborate any further about it.

 

It makes Louis curious about what all Tom knows about Zayn now. Especially since Louis is noticing something new now that these taboo things are being discussed semi-openly: Tom doesn’t call Zayn _he_ like how Perrie and everyone else does. Liam didn’t say he that much either and Louis thought it was just him until hearing Tom do it to now.

 

Unlike Liam, Tom actually used _they_ , which is a plural pronoun. As if Zayn is more than one person which Louis finds _really_ bizarre.

 

Could this get any weirder?

 

With all these new revelations, now the whole thing Kendall and Harry had to be added to the list of things at Wellington High Louis wanted to know more about, along with pretty much EVERYTHING about Zayn, Kendall and Perrie, and what else Tom knew about Zayn that’d make him tell Louis to be careful.

 

It seemed like there was so much more to figure out yet, no one to tell it to him. Looks like he was just gonna have to do some of his own investigating.

 

The only thing on his list of to-dos today: Investigate Wellington.

 

*

 

Seeing Harry in calc today was kind of surreal.

 

He doesn’t mean to but he kind of stares like a creeper throughout the entire period, chewing through his lips as he thinks about what would’ve happened in Kendall never happened.

 

If Harry weren’t straight and never went out with Kendall, would Louis still ever have asked him out? Maybe. Would it be super nerve racking at a serious risk of him passing out? Most probably. And the most important question… would Harry totally reject Louis?

 

Probably not.

 

Louis had enough confidence to think he was pretty smooth once he got over any initial nervousness. He doesn’t think anyone is 100% straight, especially in this school.

 

But alas, this was the one guy that was off limits.

 

Actually, the third guy.

 

3 fuckable guys in this school out of hundreds and Louis, being the G.B.F. to the G.B.F., was balls deep in a sea of vagina.

 

Who’s cereal did he piss in to be spited like this?

 

Later on that same Friday, when Louis is leaving, he finds himself not so accidentally walking past the football field, where #28 is in his jersey, kicking the ball around on his lonesome. His headband holds back his curls, long legs jogging down the grass, a scent that always covers him whenever he’s near.

 

The smell of fresh cut grass and outside air is always Harry.

 

He watches him for a moment in over-dramatic, teenaged, sexually repressed homosexual yearning, torturing himself by window shopping the goods he can’t afford.

 

He’s never felt so sexually frustrated in his life.

 

He always imagines Harry smelling like sweet lemon-grass and delicious sweat right now. Even though he wasn’t allowed to like Harry, he was still allowed to look at him, the way his thighs move when he runs and the curve of his back from behind his lean body.

 

God, he’s _gorgeous_. How could Kendall dumb him for a addlebrained caveman like Calvin Rodgers?

 

Louis was allowed to admire him from a distance right?

 

And… think about him.

 

Wank over him.

 

And… _talk_ to him?

 

Platonic talking. That’s a thing right? That’s not flirting. But flirting isn’t so bad and Louis is really good at it, even with straight guys.

 

Maybe he’ll just stick to platonic talking. He’s not trying to move too close to the line of _is this too gay?_

 

Okay he’s over thinking this now.

 

There’s just a paranoid nervousness with being out around someone who he know _knows_ he’s out that makes Louis feel like everything he does is gonna come off as obvious that he wants to do naked wrestling.

 

His minds in the gutter.

 

Just _talk_ to Harry.

 

He’s done if for weeks, this isn’t that hard to do.

 

Harry kicks the ball across the field and misses the goal so he collapses dramatically on his back like he’s just lost the ultimate, game-winning match and Louis laughs, watching Harry in his own little world out there, playing out his theatrical game by himself.

 

He must be staring to hard because it’s like Harry feels his eyes. Right after he stands up, he kicks the ball into the goal and he looks right over at Louis, who throws his arms up in the air grinning, motioning ‘GOAL!’.

 

Harry lights up, laughing as he waves.

 

He motions for Louis to come over and join him and Louis’ heart skips like a pebble across a pond, 10 times over.

 

He can feel those lovely weights crashing down on his heart that he now realises is connected to Harry like an anchor, pulling Louis towards him to sink below the surface of the water, like he’s falling.

 

Just as Louis is about to drop his bag in the grass and jog over, to say what, he doesn’t even know, a car hoots behind him.

 

It’s Tom’s death-Escalade. Along with him of course is Kendall who is driving.

 

And Eleanor and Lottie.

 

“Get in loser, we’re doing coke.” Kendall shouts from the driver seat, smiling in her furry pink vest.

 

Louis looks at Harry one more time before he waves, backing away slowly and climbing into the car.

 

“You’re joking about the coke thing, right?” He asks as he climbs over Eleanor to his rightful place in the middle. He’s only done it once and he’s decided it wasn’t for him.

 

They only laugh as they drive away.

 

Harry watches with a mixture of confusion and something else off putting that Louis can’t quite place as he watches Harry watching the car go.

 

He suddenly wished Harry didn’t know he was friends with Kendall.

 

*

 

They go to a shopping centre packed with lively teens today, walking around to no place in particular.

 

They don’t actually stop to shop anywhere.

 

They just talk for once, and it feels totally normal for Louis. Like, he was actually in this friend group for a change. Louis gets the feeling that the change in the dynamic might be because they probably told Kendall what he said at lunch about only going out with Kendall and Tom.

 

“So, how’re you liking Wellington so far?” Eleanor asks as they walk.

 

Louis shrugs, peering around at all the life around them

 

“I like it alright. It’s different.” He says honestly.

 

As they stop in front of a floral shop called _“Gisele’s Garden”_  while Kendall and the girls look at a beautiful arrangement of white roses, Louis spots Liam handling a bouquet of flowers with an elderly woman, smiling charmingly as he helps her pick out the flowers of her choice.

 

Louis’ brows shoot up, not so surprised to see that Liam has a job as a florist.

 

A flower among flowers.

 

He makes eye contact with Louis at the threshold of the shop and smiles, pausing to wave at him.

 

Liam’s eyes find who Louis is with and his smile falters when they land on Tom standing beside Louis.

 

Louis _catches_ that falter, looking over at Tom who is also looking at Liam with the fakest smile Louis has ever seen him wear.

 

It’s not a real smile. It’s a very VERY smug, sort of bitchy smile Tom always gets when he’s being petty. As Louis looks between the two of them, he now knows that Tom and Liam are _not_ really friends anymore as tension is surfacing just from being in the same vicinity.

 

Tom even waves to Liam but he doesn’t return it, stuck glaring at Tom.

 

“How’d the asking out go, mate?” Tom asks him from the door now and Louis’ mouth falls open in shock as Tom openly mocking Liam’s rocky romance.

 

Louis is surprised that Liam doesn’t give him the finger in response to be honest.

 

His fist clenches at his side in silence. This is the look of Liam looking at someone he _hates_ and Tom gloating with glee at this fact.

 

Tom just smirks and looks away from Liam now, even letting a little laugh escape the back of his throat as he shakes his head, muttering _pathetic_ under his breath in a snort before going back to talking to Kendall.

 

_‘Yikes.’_ Louis holds his lips in, thinking, _what an interestingly ambiguous rivalry._

 

Louis’ not actually that curious about this unexpected exchange between these two.

 

He’s actually more interested in finding out what Liam said to him earlier.

 

He decides that this is a good time to confirm his unknown plans with Liam on Monday. He’s conveniently right there and Louis can make it seem like he’s just making sure _whatever_ they’re doing is still on. He’s about to make to walk over to Liam but, Tom loops his arm with Louis, pulling him along in their direction before he can as they finally leave.

 

He looks back at Liam as they go, seeing his bright smile back on his face as he helps the old lady out.

 

Unlike most people, Liam’s smile is warm and welcoming and he likes seeing that on him instead of stress and anger like he usually has.

 

_Gosh_ , he was sweet. Who could possibly hate him?

 

The answer is Tom. Not even hate. Just Tom who apparently thinks the sight of Liam is laughable and pathetic.

 

Just 1 more thing added to a million on Louis’ list.

 

He’s gonna call it: What in the fuck went _down_ on this beach?

 

Obviously, something divided everyone into cliques that _hate_ each other. It’s like he’s witnessing several silent war zones he’s unknowingly trespassed in.

 

Louis has dipped his toe in multiple circles. Even though he spends the most time with the biggest socialites, he still hasn’t had a problem with anyone at all. Even Calvin and his dickhead friends leave him alone, definitely at the request of Kendall, who he may or may not be dating. Or at least fucking.

 

“You haven’t got around very much yet though Louis.” Eleanor quips as she checks herself out in her phone camera.

 

“You haven’t even been to a party yet.” Lottie tells him “Tomorrow, you’re losing your virginity.”

 

“I am _not_ a virgin.” Louis shoots at her, suddenly on defence mode and Tom laughs.

 

“You’re _party_ virginity, babe.” He assures him.

 

“It’ll be fun. Trust me, you don’t know how to party until you party with Wellington.” Eleanor smiles.

 

All of the sudden, the brakes get pulled on their party train.

 

“Oh my god, there’s Niall!” Tom gasps loudly, stopping in his tracks.

 

Louis has never heard Tom actually say his name. He was beginning to think maybe Tom wasn’t even talking about Niall whenever he talked about his boyfriend.

 

Tom doesn’t even look at Niall in the halls or at lunch even though, Niall does all the time. He acts like a child. Throws things at Tom during lunch to get his attention and laughs with his friends about it but, Tom usually ignores him or acts uninterested in acknowledging him.

 

They all follow Tom’s gaze and spot Niall, sitting at a large circular water fountain with a girl that’s got long braids and a pretty smile Louis thinks is Lissa.

 

“And he’s with Melissa Steel.” Eleanor points out, then adds, “I heard they’re going out.”

 

“That scheming black bitch.” Lottie spits “I told you she was screwing him behind your back.”

 

Louis is a little put off with Lottie’s overly racial aggression towards Melissa with that remark as he looks at them with knitted brows.

 

If Louis can remember correctly, Perrie said Melissa was one of Zayn’s closest friends, which he doesn’t have a lot of.

 

Louis talks to her in second period all the time so he knows she’s best friends with Tom.

 

From talking to her, Louis has learned that she’s not only a socialite but an accomplished, moderately successful artist at that. The singing kind. Super chill personality and probably smokes a lot of weed from the smell that always emits from her bag. He also knows that she’s a lead singer in a band that she told him is currently on a small break as her keyboardist/guitarist has some “personal issues they’re sorting out”.

 

Although he can’t picture too much of anyone hanging out with Zayn, he could somehow picture _her_ hanging out with him easily.

 

They’ve got the same vibe and unique styles that kind of compliment each other.

 

Niall is talking animatedly with Melissa nodding along distractedly on her phone, like she’s not super interested in what he’s saying but she’s still entertaining him by being there. He looks like he’s more ranting about something and she’s just letting him hash it out more than anything else.

 

Assuming that they were screwing around just because they were here together was a huge assumption to make. They could’ve just been friends. But this is Wellington.

 

They assume everything and ask for no sources to back it up, like looking at that beach as if it’s real.

 

The thing is, Louis knows she’s not going out with Niall, because Melissa talks about her _boyfriend_ Maz all the time. Even though they’re in an open relationship too, Lissa doesn’t “go out” with anyone else like Maz does.

 

The type of going out that involves kissing and taking off each other’s clothes.

 

No one else seems to realise she’s not single.

 

It now makes sense on why Tom was so pressed with insisting that straight girls and guys could just be friends without messing around.

 

He’s lying to himself.

 

“Melissa is not hooking up with Niall.” Kendall states, shaking her head in pity. “There’s no way she’s getting away with that. They are both such pathetic skeezes. Give me your phone.” She holds out her hand so her mini Gucci bag dangles at her wrist, and Tom does, begrudgingly as he slaps it in her hand.

 

The fact that he looks so sad about this when he’s always saying he can’t stand Niall reminds Louis of the first day at lunch when Tom acted like he didn’t care about him when Louis knew he’d been sneakily taking pictures of him too.

 

Yeah, Tom’s a great actor, just like everyone here. Acts like he cares, acts like he doesn’t care.

 

It seems like a coping mechanism in the fact that he’s in a really shitty relationship.

 

Kendall dials a number and phones in to Melissa’s house from information before clearing her throat and faking a pretty damn convincing London accent.

 

“Hello, may I please speak to Melissa Steel? This is Mary from the 10th Hammersmith and Broadway clinic. I have her paternity test results.”

 

Kendall pauses to shush them when Eleanor and Lottie both snicker too loud behind her.

 

“Oh. I see. Can you have your daughter give us a call as soon as she can then? It’s urgent, thank you.” Kendall says sweetly, smiling as she hangs up and gives Tom back his phone.

 

“She’s not going out with _anyone_.” She sighs as if she feels sorry for sabotaging Lissa’s life in just 5 seconds.

 

Lottie, Eleanor and Tom all squeal with laughter as they continue on their way but Louis frowns.

 

“Okay that was totally brills!” Tom shrills.

 

Kendall smiles towards Niall and Lissa before she looks away, satisfied with herself.

 

Louis watches Melissa as they walk away.

 

She answers a phone call only a moment later from who is probably her distressed parent.

 

The look on her face of horror makes Louis feels really bad for her. It was the first time Louis saw something a bit… malicious in Kendall. Having no remorse for getting her friend in so much trouble all from an assumption about what she and Niall (who’s supposed to be in an open relationship by the way) were doing here together.

 

He thinks that Kendall has the title of being a bitch well earned. Not the good kind.

 

The fake kind that pretends like she likes her friends but actually sabotages them behind their backs, furthering his slight dislike for her narcissistic nature and raising his awareness not to trust her completely.

 

Louis’ had fake friends before and he can spot one from a mile away.

 

*

 

Today, they go to Tom’s house for the first time and Louis is not surprised at all by all it’s shining glory.

 

His house is as humongous as Wellington itself, elaborate as Louis expects it to be. An exciting gold and white Georgian Colonial mansion that looks like hopped straight out of The Great Gatsby to overlook a massive cliff over the whole goddamn beach.

 

Louis thought this house belonged to a Count or an Earl or something. He can see it from his bedroom across the bay.

 

“Of course this is _your_ house.” He laughs as he hops out of his truck.

 

“One of them.” Tom shrugs casually, helping Kendall out of his car like a gentleman as they hold hands up to the steps.

 

As they’re walking, Eleanor tells Louis that if Kendall’s younger sister is inside, he should check out her boob job.

 

“They’re hard as rocks.”

 

“Isn’t she 15 fucking years old?!?” Louis looks at her like she’s insane but El only shrugs.

 

“So?”

 

_‘Well, how disturbing.’_ Louis thinks as they walk inside.

 

Just as Tom told him previously, his house is haunted with ghosts, and not just from the old bop from the last era of music sounding through the door as Milkshake blasts through some [ speakers ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGL2rytTraA).

 

There’s an echo in the house aside from Kelis, the ceilings covered with renaissance paintings better than that of the sistine chapel in the Vatican City, giant portraits of Tom and what he assumes are his parents. Lines of French windows make the space look infinite and glorified, like they’ve walked into a temple, the backyard seen from the front door to run across the beach for miles after the line of his patio garden stops with sand, blowing around outside this windy afternoon.

 

Also outside, there’s a landscaper and a gardener, slaving away as they preen the bushes and trim hedges, both of the foreign grade of housekeepers.

 

They walk through a grand hall, past the open living room and Louis is confronted with a massive flat screen TV showcasing girls shaking their milkshakes at the camera.

 

“I’m home!” Tom yells into the air as he throws his bag at the couch. The girls do it as well so, Louis gets rid of his bag too.

 

A girl with long black hair is shaking her ass in the middle of the floor in front of the television, going along with the video like she’s at the club too. This what can only be Kendall’s little sister who lives more at Tom’s house than her own.

 

“Hey Kylie.” Kendall chirps as they walk by.

 

Kylie pauses in her strip tease to wave at her sister.

 

“Hey,” She waves, then gets back into working those new bowling balls sitting under her neck as she mimics the video vixens.

 

Louis can see what inspiration _she’s_ gonna be emulating when she’s older.

 

As they go towards a dauntingly long stairwell, they slip through Tom’s kitchen, which _isn’t_ empty.

 

_“Mamacitas!”_ A young voice sings through the air when they walk by.

 

A very pretty, _very_ young hispanic girl wearing a pink tracksuit a Marilyn Monroe house slippers greets them, holding a tray of empty martini glasses.

 

She’s got long brondish hair that reaches her thin waist line, big gold hoops sitting on her shoulders to match her golden eyes and popping clear lip gloss that sparkles like diamonds.

 

She doesn’t look that much older than them and Louis almost wonders why he’s never seen her in school as she doesn’t look like someone who’s old enough to be graduated.

 

“Hey Maria.” Eleanor takes Louis’ arm as he brings him over to _Maria._

 

He holds back the look of shock at the fact that this is Tom’s nanny that’s taken care of him for over 10 years.

 

She looks _damn_ good for her age. There’s no way she’s older than 25. No one older than 25 has a body this banging.

 

_‘No fucking way.’_ Louis wants to know what milkshakes _she’s_ been feeding on.

 

“This is Louis.” She introduces Louis to Tom’s Maria.

 

She smiles wide as her mouth falls open, looking him up and down as she sets the tray down and comes over to them around the island.

 

“Ohhh, so _you’re_ Louis.” She doesn’t have a spanish accent so, she’s not foreign like Louis imagined her being either.

 

“You’re even prettier in person. Welcome home!” She sings as she goes in for a warm embrace.

 

Louis hugs the smells of fruits and cherry lipgloss into him.

 

“In person?” Louis laughs a little as she pulls away.

 

“I’ve heard a _lot_ about you.”

 

The emphasis she puts on some words makes Louis glance over at Tom with a smirk, who’s covering half his face with his hand as he leans against the island and distractedly stare out the window at the beach, slapping Eleanor’s hand away when she squeezes his back from behind.

 

“Oh _really?”_ Louis smiles back at Maria now.

 

“Like what?”

 

She leans in close and lowers her voice with a sly grin.

 

“Oh _a lot._ Trust me, Tom really likes you. A LOT.”

 

She keeps saying _lot_ so much, the word is beginning to sound funny.

 

“There’s no rules in this house, babe. I’m not a regular mum, I’m a cool mum.” She playfully bumps Louis’ hip with hers.

 

“Maria!” Tom hisses as he marches over and grips Louis’ arm, pulling him away with him like how Zayn did when his sisters were getting too personal.

 

“Please stop talking.” He rolls his eyes as they go, Louis laughing as he stumbles away.

 

The girls all exchange looks and giggles when Maria winks at them.

 

“I’m gonna make you girls a T.G.I.F. happy hour snack.” Maria declares as she slides across the floor in her feathery pink house slippers, back over to the glasses on the island while the rest go up to Tom’s room.

 

_“How old is she?”_ Louis whispers to Tom as they go, looking back at her whining her hips along to the music as she pours juice into the glasses.

 

“Ummm… I’m not sure.” Tom shrugs. “She’s been buying us tequila since I was 12. Maybe she's a vampire.”

 

"Hot." Louis snorts a little, shaking his head, thinking, _who needs parents when you’ve got a teenaged nanny?_

 

Tom’s room is a high-ceilinged grand master bedroom with too much space and not enough photos hanging all over the walls.

 

_Amazing_ photos. Famous models. Nature. The beach.

 

There’s no doubt he uses his own art to decorate in his personal space.

 

As soon as you walk in, light is thrusted in your eyes from the ceiling glass that reveals the cloudy grey sky. More french windows that overtake the far wall that leads to a balcony with chairs for lounging and an actual French maid tidying up his closet.

 

She’s older, heavier set and dressed in the most ridiculous custom Louis thought only happened on TV.

 

She comes out of his massive wardrobe swearing up a storm in French and Tom tells her to leave and “stay the fuck out of his closet” as there’s angry French echoing around in the room now.

 

While he argues with her, Louis checks out his digs as the girls put on [ music ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpP1Mrh1o0g&index=5&list=PL9VcywyXkkvcfhugG11vffE2b12iYRXaK)and ogle their bodies in front of a mirror next to Tom’s closet, complaining about everything wrong that they see. Fat stomachs that Louis doesn’t see, too many pores, hair and fat in the wrong places…. stuff that Louis generally tunes out completely.

 

He’s looking at a bulletin board of more personal photos on Tom’s wall he’s accumulated through the years, similar to Zayn’s.

 

Seems like he’s always been taking snapshots of his life.

 

He finds a picture of a very young Liam and Jade together in the middle of a field of flowers as they’re in action, throwing wild flowers at each other with an older blonde women in a gorgeous floral gown that Louis thinks might be Liam’s mummy since Jade’s parents are Egyptian, and more with more young socialites, lying in a circle of smiling faces with closed eyes in a bed of a million flowers.

 

“Wow…” Louis murmurs as he smiles a little at how they’re all together here, a picture perfect advert for _friendship_.

 

Their childhood looked like it was a ball.

 

He only finds one of Zayn from just over 2 years ago in swim trunks, actually _smiling_ wide in laughter as someone’s cut off hands push him into a luxurious pool he’s falling into on his side as he’s caught mid-scream, in the mix of what looks like a party.

 

Louis doesn’t see anything abnormal about his _chest_ aside from the two tattooed daggers pointed at each other under his sternum where the top of his ribs are. He looks so strange without all the tattoos.

 

The biggest difference is that his _hair's_ all gone here, cut short with one blonde strip going up into a quiff.

 

He just looks like a 14 or 15 year old boy.

 

He still looks just a beautiful as ever. Especially that _smile._

 

He looks so happy, it makes Louis’ heart warm a little.

 

It’s the only picture of him on Tom’s wall.

 

And then he frowns when he gets to the updated stuff, seeing the pictures with Kendall from a few years ago. Lots of amature editorials. A few candids, sitting on a brick wall in front of a Gucci store in a beret, talking on the phone. Lots of group photos and polaroids of the girls together. And then… one of her and Harry.

 

She’s sitting in Harry’s lap in this one, both of them dressed up in formal gowns and suits with crowns on their heads at what looks like a dance, Kendall smiling at someone off camera as she hangs off Harry’s neck while he cheeses wide at the camera with his crooked tie and crooked feet toed inward, even in sitting down.

 

Homecoming king and queen. Of course.

 

Louis rolls his eyes as he moves on from that one, crossing his arms as he looks around the rest of Tom’s room with an annoyed frown.

 

Tom’s maid throws up her hands in exhaustion as she leaves the room, muttering something about not getting paid enough for this bratty asshole she should’ve left in the sewer.

 

Louis’ not totally fluent, but he’s pretty sure that’s exactly what she says.

 

Something shiny like gold catches his eye as he’s browsing Tom’s bookshelf next to the college on the wall.

 

A photo album.

 

As he reaches for the massive pink book that’s been bedazzled and kissed with lipstick and magazine clippings all over the cover, he realises it’s not actually a photo album as he examines the front.

 

“... burn book?” He reads the words that have been spelled out with magazine letters on the front.

 

Eleanor glances over at him and smiles really wide as she prances over.

 

“Oh my, I remember this!” She laughs as she takes it from Louis and opens it.

 

“We used to add to it every week!”

 

Kendall glances over at them from the mirror she’s preening in front of and shakes her head.

 

“Oh God, I haven’t looked at that in _forever.”_ She snorts. Lottie gestures for Louis to come closer to look at it.

 

“Check it out Lou, it’s our _burn book_. It’s when we used pictures of everyone in school and wrote comments.” She smiles.

 

Louis puts his hands in his back pockets and glances at Tom briefly then back at the book.

 

These pictures were without a doubt taken by him, who is currently too busy tossing a mess of clothes in his closet and closing it with a winded sigh, still annoyed with his housekeeper actually sorting through and organising his shit.

 

“What are you lot doing?” Tom looks over at them as he pushes off the door.

 

Louis is frowning deeply as he reads the pages of this “burn book”. It’s really… _scandalous_ stuff.

 

“Chris Kendall gave PJ crabs?” He reads as they all laugh at a picture of ‘Crabstickz’ leaning against a locker, smoking a cigarette.

 

Also captioned next to him - _7 inches, cut._

 

_Impressive._

 

“Holy shit, is this true?” Louis gasps as he points to the picture of tech genius, goth girl Jesy Nelson on a rail, captioned, _got an abortion for Coach Grimmy’s love child._

 

Coach Grimmy - _9 inch dong hard, MASSIVE girth._

 

_Gross._

 

Eleanor nods, smiling as she turns the page.

 

“Leigh-Anne Pinnock, _sold Mrs. Flack ECSTASY!?!”_ Louis can’t believe what he’s reading.

 

This shit could get teachers _fired_.

 

“Jade Thirwall is a grotsky little byotch. A cups.”

 

_‘Who does shit like this?’_ Louis shakes his head at how they measure all these girls and boys bodies a write horrible things about them.

 

“Still true.” Kendall chirps from behind them in the mirror.

 

“Liam Payne is a fat virgin.” Lottie reads the next page, a photo of Liam at what should be an unflattering angle kicking a ball into a net. But it’s not unflattering for him at all despite the exertion on his face.

 

_Liam Payne - unknown, probably hung._

 

Louis agrees with that part of his caption, he _looks_ hung.

 

He looks fit as hell still, even caught off guard, the muscles in his legs seen clear in the photo mid-stride. Louis doesn’t know what these guys are talking about, he’s not fat, he’s _muscle_.

 

“Still half true, init.” Tom finally joins them and Kendall laughs.

 

“Is that a GUN?!?” Louis stops them from skipping past a picture of Niall in his room, pointing a gun at the camera as he pretends to shoot.

 

He’s captioned with - _no gag reflex. 5 inches, cut._

 

How unimpressive.

 

“Yup. Desert Eagle. The same as Deadpool.” Tom laughs and Louis looks at him like he’s insane.

 

“...what?”

 

_“Why does he have a gun?”_ Louis says slow and disturbed, like it should be obvious why he’s put off with this.

 

Just an underaged kid, playing with a gun that looks like it belongs to the military, what’s there to be disturbed by, right?

 

“It was his brother’s.” Tom frowns at Louis’ alarm. “Louis, it’s a picture, he’s not holding you up and shooting up the school. He doesn’t even have it anymore, what’s the big deal?”

 

They turn the page as they move on without Louis saying a word.

 

He did _not_ like guns.

 

Calvin came from a family of gun men.

 

They were made solely for the purpose of _killing_ things with and anyone who got a kick out of something like that told Louis a lot. Maybe he’s a bit biased because of Calvin but still.

 

Calvin got his first pistol when he was about 12 and Louis was always afraid his fascination with guns would result in one being the final blows of his hazing back at home. Thankfully, that never came close to happening but it still haunted his dreams sometimes.

 

“Tom Harlock, lost his virginity in a _bean bag chair!”_ Eleanor laughs and Louis’ attention zones back into what they’re reading, watching Tom’s red face glare as he tears out that page.

 

_Undetermined._

 

Louis laughs too now at his embarrassed face as he throws it away, asking who the hell put that in there.

 

“Wow, you were such a fag back then Tommy.” Eleanor adds and Louis frowns at her now.

 

Without a doubt, the worst thing he found about hanging out with them was their casual use of that word like it’s an insult to be gay. Louis hate that Tom lets them call him that. Even the same for Perrie and Zayn.

 

Tom only laughs, shaking his head with a smile as he lays back on his bed, staring at the top of his wooden bed post. This smile doesn’t seem to fit his face.

 

“You lost your virginity in a _bean bag chair?”_ Louis repeats as he walks over to his bed with his arms crossed over his chest.

 

“Niall’s not very romantic is he?”

 

As Tom stares at the top of his bedpost, his unfit smile fades away completely.

 

“No… he’s not.” He says, monotone as he stares blankly. Louis’ brows come down a little at the whispy feel to Tom’s words.

 

Louis _really_ wishes he’d leave Niall too.

 

He goes back over to the giggling girls then, still sorting through their dumb book.

 

Next, they come upon a picture of Zayn and Perrie together, Perrie on Zayn’s lap on the steps of the school, laughing as Zayn tickles her. They’re wearing coats and hats as it appears to be the middle of winter.

 

It’s actually a really sweet photo. The caption… not so sweet. And not at all unexpected.

 

“Perrie Edwards - _dyke._ 32B. _”_

 

He briefly wonders how they know her exact bra size.

 

They all laugh in wealth and this is the moment Louis decided that these girls _were_ the horseman of the apocalypse.

 

He loved them individually. He really liked going out with Kendall and Tom and Eleanor was pretty cool and _hilarious_ at lunch but hanging out with them altogether suddenly made them seem very unlikeable seeing what they did in their free time.

 

This wasn’t any fun.

 

If he told Zayn or Perrie about this, she’d have an aneurysm and Zayn would be spending 12 hours calming her down.

 

Louis was ready to go home.

 

No socialites. No party. These were very mean girls and he couldn’t be associated with the lot of them any longer than he has.

 

Eleanor gives him a smile that he couldn’t bare to return.

 

Louis almost wants to ask the if they could’ve at least been more creative. If you’re gonna take time to dedicate an entire photo album to insulting people and being homophobic bitches, you could at the very least make it less than predictable.

 

Instead of dragging them all to hell and back for this, Louis loses interest as he sits on a stool below them, leaning against a desk and looking at himself in another big mirror.

 

He can’t imagine why on _Earth_ Tom hangs out with people like this. Boy who cheats on him. Girls who, until it’s time for him to do their hair, makeup, style and validate them, still call him their fag at the end of the day.

 

It’s _disgusting_.

 

Eleanor goes to turn the page but Lottie stops her.

 

“Who is _that?”_ She asks as she squints at Zayn in the photo.

 

He’s the only one that doesn’t have a comment next to him.

 

“Who else would come within 10 feet of her?”

 

“Do you think they _fuck?”_ Lottie wonders aloud.

 

“Totally.” Eleanor nods but Louis shakes his head in disagreement.

 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He almost laughs at the desk at how ridiculous and contradictory they sound, calling someone a dyke and then wondering if she fucks the only friend here she has.

 

“They’re practically _siblings_.”

 

“Ever heard of incest?” Lottie says and they both laugh but Louis rolls his eyes and looks up at them.

 

“Guys, he’s literally the next queen of England, there’s no way they’d ever.”

 

It occurs to Louis then that Zayn didn’t actually say he was gay nor did he ever say he and Perrie _weren’t_ a thing.

 

He _alluded_ that he wasn’t straight and doesn’t like relationships, which was very vague and now leaving Louis wondering if he and Perrie ever _have_.

 

Kendall laughs with a straight face as she walks by.

 

“ _That’s_ funny. Put that in there,”

 

Louis’ eyes dart to his reflection again, internal panic happening now as he watches Lottie in the mirror actually write his exact words down next to Zayn.

 

He shouldn’t have said that.

 

He and Zayn aren’t that close. Maybe that was only okay when _Perrie_ said it. And now it’s sealed in this book forever.

 

Although he doubts anyone else ever sees this but them, he still feels bad just from knowing it even exists, all the lives that would be ruined and people humiliated if it got out.

 

Eleanor take it upon herself to also add his measurements.

 

_8.8 (Average length but he LONG strokes) - breaks your fucking pelvis._

 

She seems to have first hand knowledge on Zayn’s dick game.

 

Maria comes into the room later with drinks that Louis passes on.

 

He was _so_ ready to go home he didn’t know what to do with himself anymore, their words suddenly becoming like a language he can’t even understand anymore as he sits in the mix of a place he doesn’t really belong in, looking at their laughing faces and seeing sharks instead of girls. He feels a bout of detachment, like he’s not really here as their faces blend into blurs and the noise of their voices around him becomes just that. Noise.

 

He could’ve just kissed Tom when he offered to take him the moment the girls were occupied with gossiping with his nanny.

 

He could tell Tom knew he was getting enough of the hags after so many hours, grabbing Louis’ hand and practically running out himself with a quick, _we’re going_ shouted behind him that the girls don’t really notice. Maria watches them go with a small smile at the way Louis’ small hand brushes on the back of Tom’s shirt in front of him as they leave the room, like he’s dizzy and trying to steady himself with Tom’s back.

 

Louis’ head was ready to explode listening to the way they talked shit about _everyone_. Listening to them talk at all was enough for Louis to get the hell out already.

 

On the ride to his house, it’s the first time he and Tom have been totally alone and Tom’s _entire_ demeanor shifts. The way he sits. His mannerisms. The way he talks to Louis now, it all moves a little sideways, like he’s just dropped an act and now he can be himself.

 

His pristine posture slouched as he leans his seat back from where Kendall adjusted it, letting his blinged out wrist dangle over the steering wheel while the other hand hangs out the window.

 

“I know they can be a little insufferable at times. That’s why I told Kendall not to invite them out with us.” Tom says casually as he’s driving.

 

Louis doesn’t look at him, continuing to stare out his window with his hand covering his mouth.

 

Tom glances over at him and snorts.

 

“It’s not because Kendall is trying to hook us up. I just didn’t want you to be uncomfortable like how you just were. We can go back to just me, you and Kenny if you still wanna hang out… or just me and you, you obviously don’t _have_ to.”

 

Louis takes the hand he’s leaning against off the door as he looks away from staring out the window, over at Tom in shock now as his words register.

 

“You mean… _you_ told them not to come?” He re-words just to make sure. Tom smiles, nodding.

 

“Yeah…. And _now_ you know why.” He laughs a little.

 

“I _don’t_ usually hang out with all of them like I used to. Estrogen and that fruity Marc Jacob’s shit they wear starts making me nauseous.”

 

Louis holds his hand flat on his sternum as he laughs, squeezing his eyes closed and shaking his head before, looking out at all the beautiful homes in Tom’s neighbourhood.

 

“I wear women’s perfume too y’know…”

 

“It’s okay. I like Chanel on you. It rubs off on me.”

 

The way he says that catches Louis off his guard as he squints at Tom, suddenly being… _flirty._ There’s a smirk in his eye as he watches the road, leaning his head on his fist as his elbow hangs out the window. Louis doesn’t say anything to that. His mind is drawing a blank at this sudden switch up in Tom.

 

The switch being, Louis is usually the dominate, flirty one and Tom is bashful and reserved. Now that they’re _really_ alone, that’s all gone.

 

“Seriously. They spend more time at my house with Maria than I do.” He moves on from that slightly suggestive comment back into casual conversation.

 

Louis looks back out the window now, relaxing instead of fretting over this as he leans his head back.

 

“Thank God.” Louis sighs in relief now as he looks at Tom again.

 

“So then, you’re not actually one of _those_ guys.”

 

It’s not really a questions and Tom already knows what Louis means without needing him to elaborate.

 

“Fuck no. I promise, I’m a real _person_ , not Andy Cohen.”

 

Louis narrows his eyes at him then, now that he’s just basically told Louis that he’s aware of the fact that they don’t treat him like a person but rather their _gay,_ a growing question he feels he can ask now that Tom has dropped the act of being an ignorant follower.

 

“Then… why do you associate with them?”

 

“Why do you _think?”_

 

Louis doesn’t really know what he thinks because he doesn’t understand.

 

If Tom doesn’t actually like them, or even like his boyfriend, why does he pretend like he does when he doesn’t need to? He’s already a socialite with way more going for him than all of them put together.

 

He doesn’t need them… in fact, _they_ need _him,_ just like he told Louis.

 

“Have you ever watched the show ‘Keeping Up With the Kardashians’?” He randomly asks Louis now instead of answering the question properly, looking at him as he leans against the wheel when they stop at a light.

 

The _shyness_ Tom had in dressing rooms wasn’t a complete act but his subservient follower act was. He’s totally confident, a kind of casual dominance that Louis can totally see him as the top he really is.

 

The thing is, Louis is pretty dominant too.

 

Dominant top and dominant bottom… this just got a little more exciting for his late night fantasies.

 

“Of course.” Louis shrugs.

 

“Do you know where that phrase comes from?”

 

As Louis thinks about it now, he’s only _just_ realised the “keeping up with the Kardashians” is a play on “keeping up with the Joneses”, an idiom used for when you compare yourself to your more fabulous neighbour as a benchmark for social class and the accumulation of material goods.

 

If you don’t “keep up”, you’ll be inferior to said neighbour. Hence a cycle of keeping up a fake appearance to look just as good as your “friends” or neighbours… who are actually your competition. And Louis just got a whole new outlook on what the Kardashians actually stand for…. And what Tom is _really_ doing hanging out with them.

 

“Keep your friends close and enemies closer.”

 

Louis’ mouth falls open in shock as Tom smiles at Louis.

 

“Okay Mr. Unexpected. So why are you telling me this?”

 

Tom pulls over on the side of the street now, putting his car in park and Louis becomes acutely aware of his forever pounding pulse.

 

This is not his neighbourhood. He doesn’t even know where they are right now. And he _definitely_ doesn’t know Tom that well. His whole persona just disappeared so Louis doesn’t know what to expect now. Tom could very easily have driven Louis into an obscure part of town to murder him and dissolve his body in acid.

 

When Tom rolls his windows up so the tint locks them in the dark and gives Louis a look that says he is about to break this shit down for Louis, why he associates with who and how things work and if he repeats a word of it to anyone, he’s _dead_.

 

“You read Gatsby, right?” He asks first and Louis nods slowly.

 

“So then, you know what a socialite is and what it _isn’t_ . Or _was_ rather.” He starts and Louis smiles, leaning back to get comfortable as he nods again.

 

“Yeah, like you. A _Wellington._ ” He smirks, biting his bottom lip in. Tom smiles charmingly as he looks forward.

 

“Yeah. Like me.” He affirms with a slight nod, with this stupidly cute half-smirk. Louis shakes his head as he grins, nudging Tom with his knee.

 

“Okay, don’t turn into a prick on me.”

 

They both laugh before getting into the topic of what a _real_ socialite is through literature, like Daisy who was born into a wealthy, aristocratic family and destined to be a debutante and have a legacy no matter what. And a _fake_ one, like Gatsby who amassed wealth and social status by means of stealing it and appropriating someone else’s legacy and showing it off as if it was all his for attention and a false reputation.

 

The difference Tom teaches Louis: You can’t _appropriate_ the life of a socialite or heiress. You’re born with it.

 

It’s clear to Louis that Tom is saying, he’s basically the only _actual_ “debutante” in this group, aside from Eleanor.

 

Kendall is not.

 

Even though he’s a boy and this is typically the title of a girl, the definition of words has evolved over time. Even the definition of a socialite itself.

 

Now, you don’t have to be born into it. You can buy it.

 

Or… _steal_ it.

 

“Steal?” Louis repeats with knitted brows.

 

By this point, Tom has lit a joint and they are now hotboxing in his car on the side of an unknown street deep in London where they won’t be recognised if someone sees them.

 

Mellow music pours from his [ stereo ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePXtjToJeLU) at low volume. If Louis knew music sounded this great while high, he would’ve done drugs ages ago.

 

This weed is definitely laced with something _extra_ smooth on his lungs. With Tom’s kind of money, he wouldn’t be surprised if this was the kind of stuff that had to be imported from Bolivia.

 

It smelled like the beach, trickled down like honey and makes him feel _extra_ horny.

 

Turns out, Zayn is not the only sexy demon boy in town that’s full of mystery.

 

They face each other with their legs crossed like pretzels in the leather seats as they puff and pass the joint back and forth.

 

“Paris Hilton vs. Kim Kardashian. Who’s the socialite?” Tom squinted with red eyes.

 

Louis sparks the blunt again and turns the smoke over on his tongue, blowing towards Tom as he thinks about that. He knows this is a trick question.

 

While Paris Hilton is an heiress at her birthright, Kim Kardashian is the modern day socialite of this generation of pop culture.

 

“Both.” Louis answers before he takes another really long drag this time.

 

Tom watches his lips for a moment, inhaling the smoke before he slowly leans forward as his hands slide up Louis’ thighs and presses their lips together so Louis shotguns it into his lungs.

 

They don’t kiss each other, like their teasing to see who’s gonna do it first before Tom pulls away with a dopey grin, letting his hands linger for a moment before Louis pushes him off completely as they burst out laughing.

 

“ _Correct.”_ He tsks as he coughs out smoke.

 

“Now who’s the _real_ socialite? The Blonde or the other one?”

 

There’s a really long pause now, both of them too high to realise they’ve been staring at each other in silence for almost 30 seconds. Louis knows the answer but, words are happening right now.

 

Sparks are going off in Louis’ gut.

 

He thinks he likes Tom’s weed better than Perrie’s.

 

Tom takes another drag when Louis’ eyes trail down to his mouth now, debating if he should kiss him this time or just let Tom continue to take this lead.

 

That’s the funny thing about two dominant personalities and versatile boys - because Tom is without a doubt versatile as hell. One person has to assume the submissive role. Tom smiles. He knows it’s not gonna be him.

 

“You tell me.” Louis nods for him to continue talking.

 

Tom closes his eyes and leans his head back against the window after passing the joint to Louis again.

 

“Paris Whitney Hilton, heiress and great-granddaughter of Conrad Nicholson Hilton, billionaire hotelier and founder of Hilton Hotels chain. Kim Kardashian, daughter of one-hit wonder attorney, Rob Kardashian and then gold digging, unemployed wife Kris _no-one cares-about- her-peasant-last-name._.”

 

Laughter erupts in Louis’ belly as he bends forward with a wide grin.

 

“You’re fucking _ruthless_ aren’t you?” He coughs out and Tom starts giggling too.

 

In other words: Paris Hilton is the socialite here and Kim Kardashian wasn’t worth shit.

 

“But now, Paris Hilton, still a billionaire, is selling perfume in local Walmart's of America while Kim Kardashian’s ass-shots are worth millions. Who does everyone give a fuck about?”

 

“Now… how’d that happen?” Louis tsks.

 

“In 2001, Paris Hilton developed a reputation as a socialite due to her wealth and her partying lifestyle on top of her already high class family legacy.”

 

Tom begins to educate Louis on something he pays close attention to, leaning into the middle to follow Tom’s drift attentively since he’s spitting numbers right now, placing his head in his hands.

 

“She thus started the “famous for being famous” era of time we live, breathe and _die_ for in pop culture today. She’s like, the O.G. You simply didn’t need a talent for people to give a shit about you anymore. Just money and a shiny life you flash in front of a camera for everyone to see and admire. Paris Hilton set a bar that changed what a modern day socialite was, now doubling as a celebrity. It’s been done before. Zsa Zsa Gabor was _the_ actress _and_ a socialite of the 19th century… but she was a celebrity because she had a _talent_. Paris Hilton was a celebrity for being a celebrity.” Tom pauses as he looks down at Louis.

 

“These are _not_ the same things. A socialite can be a celebrity but being a celebrity does not make you a socialite. You understand?”

 

Louis nods slowly so Tom goes on with closed eyes as he leans his head back against the window.

 

“2003, Paris’ sex tape leaks the _day before_ her reality show, Simple Life airs. The Simple Life _bangs_ worldwide as a result. Now, we have money, partying and _sex_ selling the life of a socialite.”

 

Louis nods when Tom raises his brows at him again, as if to say, _are you still following?_

 

Louis can see where the trend is following here as those were things Wellington lived off of.

 

“Yeah okay. Sex scandal sounds like it’d raise public interest.” Louis nods again.

 

Sex sells millions.

 

“In that reality show, Paris’ childhood friend, Kim Kardashian is seen in the background as her _assistant_ and stylist.” Tom continues, linking this conversation to stuff Louis didn’t even know about.

 

“Her _assistant?”_ Louis repeats, and Tom nods.

 

“2004 and 2005, Paris introduces her lifestyle as a brand: purse collections, perfumes, jewelry lines, books, and film roles, thus becoming a household name.” He continues.

 

“Also in 2004, gay male blogger, Mario Armando Lavandeira Jr., starts a blogging website called _“the wacky tacky world of celebrities”_ documenting her life, and others icons like Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, online in the first ever model of a social media gossiping site that mixed the lives of celebrities with the lives of socialites. He goes by the alias, _Perez Hilton.”_

 

Louis gets chills of goosebumps all over his skin, not just because he knows who that is and he never noticed his name is a direct play on Paris Hilton.

 

_Everything_ Tom is saying is so relevant to their life right now. Social media. Gay guy following and modeling the life of young hot rich girls online, the BFF doubling as a stylist… it’s like history is just repeating itself.

 

He continues to listen to Tom getting to a point that feels like it will unlock the secrets of the whole world.

 

Materialistic rich girl world.

 

“2005, Paris’ reality show ends after 3 seasons after a fallout with her and then BFF/co-star and fellow socialite Nicole Richie, daughter of the legendary singer and songwriter Lionel Richie. Nicole is replaced with _Kim Kardashian,_ pictured travelling and hanging out together, thus dubbing her as Paris Hilton’s “new BFF” on tabloids. Although they’re “besties” you know there’s a clear dominance in their relationship of who the public gives a fuck about and who doesn’t matter. Kim isn’t Kim Kardashian yet. She’s Paris Hilton’s best friend. You get me?”

 

Louis nods, understand what he’s _really_ saying, without actually flat out saying it.

 

Seeing that, although Tom has a grand legacy of being a Wellington and actually has a talent, he is still just the GBF and stylist to Kendall Jenner to everyone, like their roles have reversed this time since he’s the socialite and she’s the celebrity.

 

It seems that the modern day celebrity is worth more than the modern day socialite now. Tom telling Louis how this happened because of Kendall’s big _sister_ barely a decade ago is so much more interesting to listen to for Louis than a bunch a girls talking about how weird their hairlines are.

 

Tom nods too with a smile.

 

“They go _everywhere_ together. People start to wonder who Kim is, this new person accompanying Paris to parties and on yachts. 2006 and 2007, Paris has a few drug scandals and legal trouble and gets a new reputation for having a mug shot more than having a Simple Life. End of 2006, Kim publicly dates very popular R &B singer, Ray J, increasing her popularity and thus becoming the new “It” girl. Instead of wondering who Paris’ BFF is, they’re now wondering who is Ray J’s new girlfriend, an infatuation of “who is She?” beginning in the tabloids. Also around this time, Paris’ inheritance has been reduced from the family fortune, slightly decreasing her net worth. Also around this time, due to her own increased popularity, Kim Kardashian starts getting invited to events _alone_ now. No one’s BFF or girlfriend. Just Kim Kardashian.”

 

Tom squints at Louis again.

 

“2007, Kim and Ray J’s _sex tape_ from 2003 “leaks” 4 years after she made it, becoming a number 1 topic and shoving Kim into the spotlight.”

 

Louis’ jaw drops.

 

“ _Just like Paris!”_

 

Tom nods as he laughs.

 

“Right. _Just_ like Paris. A few months after her tape is released, Kim signs a contract with E news after making an estimated 4 million big ones from her sex tape and gets a reality show, _Keeping up With the Kardashians_ , airs 8 months after Kim’s sex scandal. That same year, US weekly has its first ever 100% Paris-free issue. From that point online, it’s goodbye Hilton, hello Kardashian. Kim’s name is being out searched on Google than Paris’ and Kim’s magazine covers go from being titled as “Paris’ BFF” to “Hollywood’s New Sex Star” in just a year.”

 

“ A year?” Louis shakes his head.

 

“The press's’ attention span is very short.” Tom snorts.

 

“By 2009, Kim’s reality show has over a million viewers by it’s second season. By 2010, Kim’s sisters, Khloe and Kourtney, have been given their own shows, making Kardashian even more of a household name. By 2011, Kim’s relationships and marriages with black football and basketball players has her name on tabloids globally. Her plastic, fat rear end, modelled after black women, is everyone’s topic of fascination. She only takes black dick. Her family models after this reputation. 2012, Paris Hilton’s quickly forgotten music career flops as she continues to land in more legal trouble and no longer has a reality show. Kardashians is renewed for 2 _more_ seasons. Meanwhile that year, Kim publicly dates successful rapper Kanye West. North West is born in 2013, Kim marries Kanye in 2014. Wedding airs on her show and is the most viewed episode on TV. 2014, Kim and Kanye West appear on the cover of Vogue magazine, declaring them as _the Wests_ and fashion _icons._ That same year, after spending 5 years in London, Kendall Jenner hits the runway for Marc Jacob’s in her high-fashion debut at 15 years old. 2015, Kim gives birth to Kanye West’s second child, first son Saint West, carrying on their iconic legacy. All through these years, Kim has no drug or legal scandals, gets _paid_ to make appearances in clubs and continuously used her money and social media to expand her brand in her Dash stores that now sets her _and_ her family at global domination. 2016, where’s Paris Hilton?”

 

He looks at an amazed Louis with raised brows.

 

“Not keeping up with the bloody Kardashians.” Louis starts laughing with Tom.

 

“Exactly.” He nods once as he blinks downwards.

 

“Kim knew exactly how to play neat a game. Keep your friends close and your enemies _closer.”_ He finishes with.

 

Louis is equally impressed with and intimidated by Tom now.

 

He no longer sees Kendall Jenner’s hot fashion accessory.

 

Thomas Harlock Wellington the 3rd is calculated, observant as _fuck,_ talented and has his all seeing eyes set on exactly what he wants and where he needs to be.

 

He doesn’t hang out with those girls by _mistake_ or convenience. They’re stepping stones to a higher goal.

 

“My thing is, all that will never make her a _true_ socialite. The Kardashian family used _actual_ socialites and talented people, leeched off their fame and attention and garnered _more_ attention through scandals and completely threw off the definition of what a socialite is, now synonymous with celebrity. Social status and high class isn’t something to buy, steal and force yourself into. You are _born_ for it. It’s become a mockery now but, this generation can evolve in it again. A socialite will be talented and successful with or without a legacy. Gay men don’t have to keep up with and be subservient to girls and live to validate and inspire them. That’s never existed but, neither did Kim Kardashian once upon a time. I think _I_ can evolve.”

 

He seems to have done a lot of studying and research about this because Louis knows he didn’t just pull those Paris and Kim receipts out of his ass.

 

Right now, Tom is Paris and Kendall is Kim. Only one is real and he knows exactly how to play it. He’s found all the key ingredients to this recipe:

 

A shiny life. Check.

 

Party. Check.

 

Wealth. Check _mate._

 

New twist, _talent._ Check check check.

 

And then, the main ingredient for public interest that makes Louis see Tom in a saucy, unexpected light: Possibly… a _sex_ scandal.

 

Here is Tom, a seemingly silent and lovely cherub with a lovely name, lovely bank account, and lovely talent and a lovely beach he practically owned already. He’s already branded as the GBF and he has a shithead boyfriend who, if he was caught with, would be a _massive_ scandal. Because Niall isn’t just some random like Louis. He’s captain of the fucking football team.

 

Louis doesn’t even know what to make of everything he just told him aside from reminding himself to take Perrie and Zayn’s advice seriously.

 

Don’t trust _anyone_.

 

He feels like Tom just shared with him a master plan of how he’s planning on overthrowing the government and he’s not telling Louis all this for no good reason.

 

Whatever he wants from Louis right now, he’s not sure if he can give it to him.

 

He’s clearly watched and learned a lot from following others predecessors like him from the past and present didn’t happen overnight.

 

The question of where _Louis_ fits into this isn’t something he wants to find out. It makes him think about how Perrie looked at him that day and saw a weapon to destroy Kendall. Maybe Tom does too.

 

Zayn straight up told him he doesn’t have friends here because everyone is looking for something to gain with who they’re friends with, and Louis already believed him then but, he can’t actually comprehend how true that really was.

 

No one is friends here.

 

He wants to to see his next highway _out_ of this. Tom’s had this on his mind for years _._

 

“What about me?” He asks despite himself.

 

“Very simple actually.” Tom shrugs sideways.

 

“I’m Kendall’s GBF. Not _you._ Clear?”

 

Louis nods. Simple enough.

 

He didn’t want to be an accessory anyways.

 

“Does that mean… you really can’t stand Niall either?” Louis murmurs now and Tom laughs with his eyes closed, shaking his head.

 

It takes a minute for him to answer.

 

“Can we not talk about him?” He resigns with.

 

Louis nods and leans back against the door.

 

It’s not even that Tom is scheming behind Kendall’s back. They’ve been best friends for 4 years. He’s just letting this friendship take it’s natural course as time progresses, just like Paris and Kim. Tom doesn’t really have to tell Louis to stay out of his way and he’ll be fine because Louis has no desire to thwart or be involved with that. He couldn’t care less about fame and fortune.

 

After 3 weeks of fun, it was old. Being a socialite doesn’t seem like it’s all that it’s cracked up to be.

 

“Okay. Then what I am?”

 

Tom smiles.

 

“Whatever you _want_ to be.”

 

Tom stretches his legs out as they exchange some silent gazes.

 

“You know, you didn’t have to expose yourself to me.” Louis says now as he talks over the thick tension heating up his back.

 

“We could’ve just…” He quirked his brows once. “... got straight to the point here.”

 

“Well, we’re friends. Don’t you tell your friends everything?”

 

Louis almost laughs at his sarcasm.

 

That “pact” was most definitely a lie and this is going to be a secret between them.

 

Not even a full day went by.

 

“Seriously… why are you telling me all this?”

 

Tom licks his lips in.

 

“If you come to _this_ side, I’ll show you.”

 

Louis decides to just take the first move now since Tom seems pretty stubborn, sitting up and he leans over the middle.

 

“You mean if I _come_ on this side, you’ll show me?” His eyes flit down Tom’s body, who’s nodding and sinking back into his the seat as Louis climbs into his lap.

 

This would’ve been the part where Louis uses his tongue to lick the grin off Tom’s face and bends the seat back and rides his dick into the sunrise, and he _would’ve_ … if he hadn’t just happened to look up and catch sight of _Zayn_ walking by outside of the car.

 

“Holy shit… _”_ Louis’ ducks a little as his eyes follow him across the pavement with his hands in his pockets.

 

His hair is all out, wild and free, and he’s wearing tight leather pants and an even _tighter_ fitting cropped top with a leather jacket over it, pure white[ Christian Louboutins](http://images.us.christianlouboutin.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/thumbnail/1200x/602f0fa2c1f0d1ba5e241f914e856ff9/3/0/9/1/christianlouboutin-louis-3091177_WH01_4_1200x1200_1467906572.jpg) the shine in the dark. The only thing he’s carrying is a big black bag that hangs off his shoulder, shaped like a suitcase.

 

Louis can’t _believe_ how he’s dressed right now, like one of the hip club-goers Louis has grown used to seeing out and about.

 

He looks like he’s on his way to a party.

 

It’s night out now, too dark to be seen in this already tinted car but, not dark enough for Louis not to recognise that hair and gait.

 

_“What’s wrong?”_ Tom whispers below from where he hands are gripped on Louis’ ass.

 

“I think I just saw _Zayn!”_ Louis climbs off Tom, readjusting his hair and rubbing his eyes as he watches Zayn stroll down the street.

 

This is the night marked on his calendar.

 

The entire universe is screaming at Louis to follow this little sneaky fuck to wherever the hell he’s going _right now_.

 

Tom sits up quickly and looks out the window.

 

“Oh… _shit_.” He holds his head as he looks at the time on his watch.

 

He got totally sidetracked on what he was _actually_ doing here.

 

“Come on!” Louis pulls Tom up and grabs his own hoodie from the backseat, throwing it on Tom to put on.

 

“Take off your this shirt now or we _will_ be robbed.” Louis says quickly as he takes Tom’s shiny Balmain top off for him.

 

It’s got white crystal gems all around the collar and screams _I have money!_ and Louis is not about to let him get them both held up.

 

“HURRY!” Louis jumps out of the car and squints ahead down the street, still catching Zayn’s head bobbing on down towards the Underground up ahead.

 

Looks like they’re catching a train tonight.

 

Tom has jumped out of his truck as well as he zips the hoodie, grabbing Louis by the arm to stop him from following.

 

“Louis I can’t leave my car here! _Someone could steal it!”_ He hisses at him, not expecting them to be out walking now but Louis rolls his eyes.

 

“Your car is fine _princess,_ I’ll buy you a new one if you get jacked. We can’t follow in that thing.” He pulls Tom along with him, following after Zayn as Tom stumbles in his hand, fumbling to make sure the doors lock before leaving his precious Caddy.

 

He doesn’t argue with Louis as he follows, as curious as Louis as they watch Zayn ahead of them.

 

“Have you got an oyster card?” Louis asks him as they make their way down the street.

 

Tom looks at him blank faced.

 

“Do I _look_ like I have ever used the tube in my life?” He deadpans, then smiles.

 

“That’s what you’re here for.”

 

Louis rolls his eyes again at having to pay for both of them. They come down the subway and wait with a crowd.

 

“So, where is this going?” Tom asks after a few minutes of Louis silently scrutinising Zayn a little way down the line, headphones in his ears as he nods his head along to his music.

 

Tom’s really never ridden a train before.

 

“I’m not sure yet.” Louis mutters as they get on.

 

Louis just absolute can not stop staring at his exposed stomach in that shirt. No barrettes or bling in his hair tonight. It’s all hanging out and it still looks great on him. Of course it looks good on him, he’s Zayn, but he just looks so--

 

“Gay?” Tom laughs and Louis makes him quiet down before he notices them.

 

_Fluid._ Louis was more like thinking.

 

He’s been trying to figure out how to describe Zayn without using pronouns today and it suddenly clicks for him why Zayn doesn’t use such labels people assign to him.

 

Zayn is fluid.

 

Not gay, or straight or bi or even girly or _guyish_.

 

All those labels don’t describe Zayn on their own.

 

Louis finally figured it out, piecing together what Perrie said.

 

_Zay_ used to be _they._

 

He wonders if it’d be rude to ask Zayn how he actually identifies instead of going off what other people say.

 

They don’t sit that far away from Zayn, who isn’t paying much attention to his surroundings anyways so, Louis isn’t super dramatic about trying to hide his face, smiling a little as he watches Zayn staring out the window now that he thinks he’s finally figuring him out better.

 

_Of course_ he doesn’t know what a boyfriend is. He wasn’t born acting like a boy or a girl.

 

There’s no set label. No set sexuality, no set gender… even though he presumably uses he and they still.

 

Louis sits there openly admiring his style while Tom is acting like someone is gonna see him actually riding the tube, keeping his head down.

 

“God, it smells like poor people and piss.” He mutters in annoyance. Louis hits him in his leg as he snorts.

 

“Shut up.”

 

He looks at Zayn again, staring out the window. He actually looks _very_ happy. There’s a slight smirk on his face and his demeanor is not at all sluggish like it usually is, sitting up straight and buoyant as he bobs along to his music, getting really into it when his hand starts drumming along his bag in his lap.

 

“Wonder why he’s taking the tube…..” Louis thinks aloud as he thinks about Zayn’s truck.

 

They get to Zayn’s stop finally and they haven’t really gone that far from where Tom parked earlier. Just deeper into central London.

 

Looks like they’re taking a walk now.

 

Tom takes the lead after being quiet the rest of the ride, taking Louis’ hand as they get off and go back above ground after Zayn, _way_ more interested in where Zayn is going too than even Louis.

 

Louis watches the way Tom looks at Zayn with narrow eyes, intent, concentrated as he’s watching Zayn like a hawk as they walk down the lively street. Louis starts to wonder if they really just _coincidentally_ parked on the street Zayn happened to be walking down _._

 

Now that Louis knows that Tom is a great actor, he wouldn’t be surprised if he was actually _waiting_ for Zayn to walk by so they could follow him on the train.

 

Now that Louis thinks about it, Tom actually told him that’s why he was here.

 

Help him catch the train.

 

Louis noticed Tom brought his camera with him too. And now, it all connects as Tom’s interest in Zayn clicks for Louis the true nature of his relationship with him. Or past one.

 

He asked Tom if Zayn was an ex boyfriend today and Tom didn’t answer.

 

_This_ is Louis’ answer.

 

He may not have been Tom or anyone’s boyfriend but he was his _something_.

 

He doesn’t even feel used right now. He’s pretty curious about where Zayn goes at night too. It just turns out, he wasn’t the only one that was curious.

 

They stay quiet as they walk, hearing music thumping in the distance as cars and buses swoosh by in the street, horns blowing and a group of hip girls laughing as they stroll by them leaning against a restaurant window, the sound of the city breathing so soothing to Louis’ ears as he smiles at the royal blue sky.

 

He can feel Tom shaking a little in his hand.

 

It’s not cold enough to be shivering and it doesn’t take Louis a lot to figure out that Tom is not used to being outside of Wellington as he looks at him.

 

He doubts he would’ve ever got this far alone.

 

“So… how often have you done this?” Louis asks him straight up now.

 

Tom bites his lip a little.

 

“Just once.” He lies. Louis makes a face at him.

 

“Okay _a few times_ but I didn’t think you’d want to come with me if you thought I was asking you on a date!” He admits quickly.

 

Louis looks down at their hands slotted together, snorting as he shakes his head at thought that Tom thinks Louis is the kind of slut that is strictly dickly and casual only and not fun little dates strolling down the city streets together at night.

 

Even if his assumption is mostly right, Louis still finds it funny that Tom feels nervous to ask him out.

 

“Looks like a date to me.”

 

Tom doesn’t say anything for a while.

 

“No one else would’ve come to the tube with me.” He says now.

 

Louis looks at him with a smile.

 

“Tom, it’s fine. You don’t have to lie to me, just _ask_ next time.”

 

He doesn’t say that in a mean way but he can see Tom’s face flushing from being called out.

 

“Okay.” He nods a little.

 

After a beat, Louis adds.

 

“I’d totally go on a date with you… just not stalking another guy next time?”

 

Tom laughs now as he looks at Louis and nods again.

 

“Okay.”

 

He smiles when Louis grins ahead, swinging their hands back and forth between them, exaggeratedly. Tom brings his camera up and snaps a quick candid of Louis’ profile, making him smile even wider as he poses for it this time.

 

They come up to a damp street and let go of their hands as they dash across after waiting for the light, Tom watching green lights glow across Louis’ face as he laughs and sprints ahead of him.

 

He finds himself stuck in admiration again as he watches Louis spewing sunshine down the street and suddenly, he feels like this was a _terrible_ mistake as his heart starts skipping.

 

_Oh God no… ._

 

Nope. This is a fluke. Tom's not falling for another person right now. But he can see it happening if he kept going

 

It wasn’t too late to stop and go back to Wellington and pretend like this never happened but, nothing in his body want to go back there right now.

 

He wants to stay with Louis. Even if it’s in a sketchy part of town with bad lighting and equally sketchy Londoners glaring at him. Being out this late here with him… this feeling was _thrill_.

 

They round the same corner Zayn did but Tom stops when he sees this corner is empty and dark, like an alley. He never would’ve come this far on his own.

 

As they peek around the brick wall of the building, they watch Zayn enter an obscure building that looks like… an expensive _flat._ Zayn has a bag with him. Louis almost wonders if he _lives_ here.

 

But, why would he have a bag?

 

A flashy sign, decorated with pink roses reads **_ELECTRIC GARDEN_ ** over the door, no indication as to what it is except for two cartoonish men hugging each other on the front.

 

“Oh my God,” Tom quickly takes his camera and brings it up to snap one shot of Zayn walking through the door.

 

[Music](http://jaylanic.tumblr.com/post/163745064148/fromanotherroom-new-person-same-old-mistakes) pours out like water when the door opens, some psychedelic funk that touches Louis’ _soul_ like some saucy downtown penthouse party is happening on the other side, telling Louis it’s some kind of private club or something similar before it shuts and gets muffled again so it only thumps on their bodies, continuing to fade all down the alley and into the ubiquitous night air.

 

They don’t follow Zayn inside as it looks like someone’s apartment and that’d be quite rude, instead staring up at the neon sign, flashing lurid, fluorescent lights casted over them, making their skin look bright blue.

 

Tom takes a picture of the sign and reviews his shots with a smile, shaking his head.

 

“This looks like a strip club or something.”

 

Louis raises an eyebrow at him, crossing his arms.

 

“Why are you so sure it’s a strip club? It could be a cocktail bar with loud music. Or some other totally unrelated thing.”

 

“You’re right. We need to Google this place.” Tom nods as he drops his camera and begins a search on his phone as he backs away.

 

Louis stares at the sign for a beat, feeling so much compelling him to go inside.

 

This song is being sung by _sirens_.

 

“Lewis!” Tom calls for him from the street, waving at him to come already so Louis slowly backs away from the alley now, intrigued and curious about the other world Zayn lives at in there as the muffled sound mesmerises him with it’s hypnotic song.

 

That’s not materialistic rich girl world behind those doors. He doesn’t know what’s in there but as he looks at the sign glowing in his eyes, he knows he wants to taste the inside.

 

_“Louis,”_ Tom’s right behind him again, breaking Louis out of his trance as he pulls him out of the back alley, away from the Electric Garden by his arm around Louis’ waist.

 

“Come on, we should definitely get back home before all the nightcrawlers lurk out of the shadows and accost us.”

 

Louis trips up over his foot as he nods, letting Tom drag him away as he watches the place getting further away until he can’t see or hear it anymore.

 

He was definitely going back there. And he was going with _Zayn_.

 

*

 

“Find anything?”

 

They’re back on the train as Louis asks Tom how his google searching is going. Tom squints at the screen, shaking his head no.

 

“That place doesn’t even have a website. The property was for rent 3 years ago. It’s a _flat._ How suspicious is that…”

 

Louis shrugs, going to his own phone as he downloads that [_song_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x57ZM02NhF0) the was emitting from Zayn’s Electric Garden and makes it his new ringtone, putting in earbuds so he’s immersed back into the zone.

 

It’s not quite the same feel. He needs to be _inside_ it.

 

“So is he your ex?” He casually asks after a while of silence, nodding to his newly discovered music.

 

“Who?” Tom glances up at him now.

 

“ _Zayn.”_

 

Tom grimaces as he goes back to his phone.

 

“Like hell I’d _ever_ associate with that asshole.”

 

Louis frowns now, taking out one plug as he looks at Tom.

 

“Seriously? You’ve _never_ hooked up?”

 

“No.”

 

Louis doesn’t believe him.

 

“Then why’d you tell me to be careful?”

 

“Because I know Zayn will lead you on forever and break your heart without any remorse when you become boring, just like everyone else. Even if you’re just friends…. just look at _Liam._ He’s such a dumbass. Zayn never liked him and he’s too stupid to realise that. You are better off _not_ getting involved. Even if it’s platonic. I don’t have to suck Zayn’s magical dick to know that.”

 

Louis supposes he can’t really argue with that. He sounds like a smarter version of Niall.

 

The song speaks to him as they ride under the city,

 

_New person, same ol’ mistakes._

 

Louis gets a chill as he knows this song is about him. He already knows he’s getting involved with Zayn despite every warning saying not too. But Louis doesn’t follow anyone’s gut but his own.

 

Brand new person on the beach. Not the same old mistake as everyone else.

 

Zayn’s song might be spellbinding to everyone else but Louis is out of the infatuation stage and admiring a beauty from afar.

 

He thinks he’s ready to join him in that mysterious world of his. He googles the Electric Garden and saves the address, snorting to himself as he feels himself falling down a rabbit hole, more than just the party tomorrow he may or may not go to or the secret one Zayn lived in.

 

God, he’s out of his mind. And tonight, he was about to lose it even more. This night wasn't over yet.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So do we trust Tom? Do we trust Zayn? ANYONE AT ALL? What the hell did Louis miss 4 years ago? Find out what happens next on this crazy, mysterious beach!
> 
> Next chapter is VERY short. It's the last few hours of this day and it involves lots of 3-way phone calls, a bathtub + nudity and a very bad case of insomnia. This is literally the longest day/night of his life.


	9. viii. The Siren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's October 3rd and Louis ends this week, not with a fizzle but, with a bang. Meanwhile, Harry looks forward to some good news while an unlikely duo plan to venture into the most dangerous territory or Wellington together: The art hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY MEAN GIRLS DAY!! (Yes I'm a few days late but *shrugs* oh well) I came pretty close with this day lining up in real life with Mean girls day though which really blew my mind 
> 
> ANYWAYS:
> 
> 1\. This is around 30K or something words so if I ever say it's going to be short, you can just take that as a lie since I am shit at estimating any and everything
> 
> 2\. Minor alteration to a detail in the story: I realised that since Doniya and Zayn are the same age and in the same grade in this, it makes more sense for them to be twins. Any references to it have been changed as well.
> 
> 3\. Last, there are references to music playing in the background of some scenes. Especially when it's in Louis's pov, I suggest using headphones for the full effect as he feels music a little different than everyone on his heart so, it's always a super bass/party effect with him.
> 
> And without further ado, let the story continue 
> 
> ~ Jay

 

 

**Louis pov**

 

**_October 3rd, Friday night (12 hours before the party)_ **

 

Sometimes if you stayed out late enough, you might meet a few colourful creatures that were known to inhabit night.

 

Maybe you wouldn’t find beautiful nymphs dancing on the bank of a river or sirens hanging out on a rocky mountaintop to attract men in the inner city but, you’ll come _close_ if you venture deep enough into a city as live as the one Louis found himself exploring every night. Tonight is the first time he’s come this deep into London. And it was _fabulous_.

 

There are a few beautiful nymphs dancing on the pavement along with a couple of compelling sirens performing on the streets outside of some local warehouse parties they pass by. They got off the tube pretty quickly to see the nightlife in the flesh.

 

Zayn’s garden was _surrounded_ with them. Beautiful men and women, men that look like women, women who are men, just every shade of the rainbow, flitting around all these blocks as if it isn’t almost midnight. Louis could kiss Tom in the street and no one would care.

 

It’s not just the local gay scene. There’s punks, goths, banksy wannabees, hip-hop heads, subway stress, colourful crowds, and delightful smells. They’re all enjoying being serenaded together by all kinds of clubs battling to see who has the better [ music ](https://soundcloud.com/steliosphili/lord-have-mercy) as it flies around the air and down the streets. It was like a fairy tale land.

 

The electric garden by far is the loudest and has the most effect on Louis. He can still hear it even 10 blocks away, drumming on his heart and coaxing his body to dance.

 

Louis could only imagine what was actually in there with Zayn. Sirens who sing with enchanting sweetness. Nymphs who dance along to the amorous beat for men who desired them. Louis didn’t actually think it was a gentlemen's club like Tom but, he could imagine it vividly. It was fun to try to guess which myth Zayn probably was by night.

 

A stripper? DJ? Go-go dancer? Siren himself? Louis could imagine him as all of the above.

 

Some people might say that their kind was a dying breed. But the truth was, you just had to know where the scene was. In following Zayn, they found it right here. It was unbelieveable how many people hung out at night.

 

By the time Friday night came to its darkest hours, Louis was proud to have become one of these creatures.

 

It was so late by the time they got off the tube as he and Tom walked the streets hand in hand as they swayed their hips to the beat of the street, blending in with the punks and goths and other couples that came out to take nightly strolls.

 

They blended in because, by the time Louis and Tom were down the street, they were both still on a growing high that seemed to grow more the longer they stayed awake, singing love songs to each other like they’d just got married. Or Louis was singing anyways.

 

 _“I fly like paper, get high like planes,”_ Louis sings as he swings Tom’s hand back and forth. _“If you catch me at the border I got visas in my name--”_

 

“Louis please _stop.”_ Tom laughs when Louis sings out loud, covering his mouth as he kissed Louis’s temple.

 

_“No one on the corner has swagga like us,”_

 

 _“What accent is that?”_ Tom laughs into Louis’s cheek.

 

“It’s my Par-ty voice, Tommy.”

 

It seemed that Tom wasn’t used to PDA so, they lapped this up for the whole town to see to his absolute pleasure, twirling Louis around at the crosswalk as they waited for the light together.

 

Pretending to be boyfriends was even more fun when they had an adoring audience.

 

A drunk redhead with wild, bouncy curls, dressed like a punk-princess stumbled by with her friends and stood across from them at the crosswalk, waiting to go in the opposite direction. Tom shifts uncomfortably when she stares but, Louis smiled at her. She didn’t return it.

 

She had glitter in her curls and runny mascara forming dark tears on her light brown cheeks and it really added to the look.

 

Louis glanced at her heels. Black fishnets with bright red Louis Vuittons, his favourite brand because they clearly named it after him.

 

“Your fit is _fabulous_.” He tells her. Tom nudges him in his side for talking to a stranger.

 

Only a few seconds later, she came up to them after staring at Louis and Tom wrapped up in each other.

 

 _“You boys are a fuckin’-”_ Hiccup _“gorgeous couple.”_ She tells them with a squinty smile.

 

“Blithe, for fuck sake,” Her friend rolled her eyes after she caught up to drag Blithe back to their side, smiling apologetically.

 

Louis snorts, looking over at Tom and wrapping his arm around his neck as he nudged his cheek.

 

“Thank you, Blithe. You’re lovely.” He cheeses, looking at Tom with a loving flutter of his eyes.

 

“And so is he. I just asked this gorgeous man to be my bride!” He announces to everyone standing nearby.

 

“Ohh!” The girls aw in that slightly patronising way you would a puppy at a pet store.

 

Louis goes on to plant a big wet kiss on Tom’s lips, egging on the cheering for young, stupid love until they both laugh as they cross the street, waving goodbye to their fleeting friends going in the opposite direction, telling them congratulations.

 

 _“I’m_ the bride?” Tom asks him once they’re across, wiping his mouth. “You’re kidding.”

 

“Tell you what, you wear the dress for the ceremony, I’ll wear it on the honeymoon. We can borrow Eleanor’s diamond, 600 karat choker to share in bewteen. Then you can chew through my garter belt and spank me with it.”

 

Tom pretends to gag as he holds his chest in disgust.

 

“You’re _definitely_ high.” He snorts as he shakes his head and Louis agrees.

 

“And I’m definitely not coming back down anytime soon.”

 

Tom’s weed wasn’t just weed. It was laced with something he had called “sophie” that Louis had never heard of but partook in anyways. Tom told him it varies how fast it peaks for different people. It only too Tom 15 minutes. It’s taken almost an _hour_ for it to fully kick it for Louis.

 

Apparently, it’s something like molly and quaaludes. Antidepressant, depressants on level 100. It was a great combo.

 

It was only wavering at first, making the music sound a bit more crisp and the lights a bit more vibrant but out of nowhere, a _strong_ high hits him on the walk back to the car. It was like the gust of wind from a tsunami that knocked into him so hard, Louis nearly falls into the street when they round the corner too fast, holding onto a lamp post as he laughs.

 

“ _Whoa,”_ He feels himself swirling in slow motion. And it feels _damn_ _good._ His heart beats like a bongo and his smile eats up his face.

 

Tom is laughing his head off as he catches him, hissing at Louis to behave before a cop noticed two minors walking down the street stoned out of their minds.

 

“I’m not _carrying you.”_ He tells him, making Louis walk straight as his legs are dragging across the ground. It’s not like he could control it. They didn’t feel like walking anymore.

 

“Tommy I’m _tired.”_ He whined into a laugh. “Be nice.”

 

Louis flicks his ear.

 

“That’d be the lude.” Tom tells him with a nod. “Don’t worry… that’ll wear off pretty soon.”

 

“What the fuck is a lude?”

 

“Something that will make you feel _real_ nice all night long.”

 

The way he says that leads Louis to believe the throbbing in his trousers wasn’t telling him they were going to bed when he got home. At least not to sleep.

 

That’s the thing about both ludes, ecstasy and coke had in common. They make you either want to fuck or sleep all night. Whoever created sophie gave Wellington a real party pumper.

 

Tom’s grip on his waist as he’s dragging Louis along with him tickled so much, he couldn’t stop giggling. Everywhere Tom touches him feels like an orgasm as his senses are all being strung out like someone turned on the power, replacing the fatigue with something a bit more… _loose_.

 

“I feel fucking AMAZ-ZING!” He sings again and Tom only laughs.

 

He’s so lucid. The colours are beautiful, all the lights of the city lit up around them against the black sky. Tom even takes a few pictures of it. He loves how all these sleeping buildings come out wide awake at night to help the nightcrawlers see in the dark.

 

Sophie is _amazing._

 

 _“You feel it yet?”_ Tom smirks down at him and Louis nods dopily.

 

“The sudden urge to throw it back on someone?” He asks and they both laugh.

 

“Yeah, I feel it. I feel like filling my ass with someone’s _load_ \--”

 

 _“Christ,”_ Tom holds him upright when Louis he leans into him to emphasis who’s load he wants.

 

“You are so _vulgar.”_

 

“Are you fit to drive like this?” Louis mumbled into Tom’s neck, holding his hand loosely.

 

Tom is way more coordinated than Louis. He doesn’t look like he’s stoned at all, just amused by Louis experiencing it for the first time. Apparently, it only hits this hard the first time. The only way you’d be able to tell that Tom smoked any is by looking at his pupils, the blue almost black. He only _looks_ coordinated on the outside but, he’s seeing the same spinning shapes and colours as Louis right now.

 

“Probably not.” Tom answers honestly as he drapes Louis’s arm over his shoulder, patting his stomach with the other.

 

“But that makes it more fun doesn’t it?”

 

“Dying in an awful car wreck? Totally.” Louis snickers with his head on Tom’s shoulder as he pats Louis’s cheek to make sure he stays awake.

 

“That’s hot.” Tom says, the line he uses for everything. Now that Louis knows of his obsession with Paris Hilton, it makes him laugh. They look like a even more of a happy, loved up couple as they go now.

 

Louis presses his lips to Tom’s ear once they’ve approached the car.

 

“That makes it _hot,”_

 

 _“What does?”_ Tom cranes his neck as he gets out his keys while Louis’s lips move down his exposed throat.

 

 _“The answer to the more important question… are you fit to_ **_fuck_ ** _like this?”_ He kisses the back of Tom’s neck, down the bone that connects his spine to his shoulders.

 

Across the street, a neon red building’s door opens, spewing out bass and red lights that turn Louis’s eyes into the face of a demon. He feels shivering down Tom’s spine like he’s holding the keys to a piano in there. Or maybe that’s just from Louis on his body.

 

Tom turns so his back is plastered against the door he’s given up on trying to unlock as Louis has him pinned to his car now as they glare at each other with swirls in their eyes as Louis continues amping him up.

 

He can feel Tom stalling, like always.

 

_“How do you expect me to answer such a question when we’re in public and your cock is trying to impale me--”_

 

_“By opening the door and letting me answer it for you.”_

 

Louis doesn’t give a shit if they’re in public or not.

 

He yanks Tom in by the collar of his bedazzled shirt and kisses him for real this time and this round, Tom isn’t as reluctant as he usually is. Seems like sophie has loosen him up too, thank God.

 

They keep playing this game of who is in control here when Tom slaps his hands off his collar and bunches up the front of Louis’s sweatshirt and pulling him in closer. Louis doesn’t know if he’s gonna be the one filling Tom today or the other way around and the thrill of it is making him want to make it the latter.

 

Tom drops his keys, breathless as tilts his head when his hands find Louis’s neck while their tongues move over each other. Louis’s hand moves down to Tom’s groyne as he pushes him against the door.

 

 _“You’re so hard…”_ Louis smiles against his cheek.

 

When Louis’s hand slips down his trousers, Tom pulls off pretty quick now before this goes into the territory of indecent exposure. He could not have jerked away from Louis any harder, pulling back _right_ into the rearview mirror, which just has to break at the impact and set off the alarm.

 

 _“Oh shit!”_ Tom takes Louis’s hand off his junk as he spins around, thrown into a panic as crouches to the ground to find his keys and shut it off, jumpy as usual.

 

“Gee, what a  _convenient_ act of sabotage.” Louis tsks with rolled eyes, crossing his arms over his chest and falling back with his back against the door.

 

 _Every single time_ they move towards real action, Tom pulls the emergency brakes. Louis is beginning to think everyone is teasing him out on purpose now.

 

He glances down at Tom’s ass sticking in the air as he strains to reach under the car, aimlessly pawing around the ground. Then Louis frowns.

 

“Oh no…” Louis covers his mouth with the bottom of his palm as he looks at the window.

 

 _“Oh no what?”_ Tom grunts, digging under his car for his lost keys.

 

“You broke your mirror…” Louis snorts as he sticks out his index finger to point at it a few times, hanging off the side of the door like a limp dick, dangling instead of erect.

 

When Tom looks up at it, it’s like something inside him shifts.

 

His mouth falls open and he freezes first, seemingly in shock. Then, standing ever so slowly, _he loses it._

 

 _“Are you SHITTING ME?!?”_ He yells as he springs up with his keys that he “lost”, hands in his hair. He’s livid at the sight of it and Louis pats his back with a snort.

 

“Mate, it’s not that bad.” He says airily as he prods it. “Just, you know… prop it up--”

 

“Not that _bad?”_ Tom pushes Louis’s arm off him in annoyance, who falls back against the car with a frown.

 

“Does this _look_ like something I can just prop up? It’s fucking BROKEN!”

 

He yanks the mirror off the door and lets it fall to the ground.

 

“It looks like a piece of shit, I can’t drive this. _FUCK!_ ”

 

Tom storms around the car, swinging to door angrily as he gets inside. Louis picks up the mirror, standing there with it in his hand with knitted brows. That was a bit of an _explosive_ reaction to something so trivial.

 

“Just _leave it.”_ Tom says as he starts the car. Louis climbs into the car with it.

 

“Um… I think tearing it off made it much worse than it was--”

 

“Shut up Louis.” Tom grimaces, pulling out without even checking to make sure the street was clear.

 

 _“JESUS-”_ Louis grips the handle above his seat as the car swerves dramatically.

 

“TOM--”

 

“I told you to _leave it.”_

 

“At least if you take it with you, you won’t have to buy a new one to be _fixed_.”

 

“I _can’t drive this car.”_ He veers around the corner with the agility reminiscent to something that almost killed Louis once before in the first time he and Tom crossed paths.

 

“Well _that’s_ for goddamn sure!” Louis yells at him, holding his pounding heart.

 

“Tommy _slow down!”_

 

They argued about the mirror for a good 5 minutes as Tom drives with his usual recklessness like he always does when he’s distracted. Louis is mostly confused as to why the hell he was suddenly so angry. It’s not like it was a major damage to anything. It could probably be fixed in less that 2 hours. But to Tom, it meant it was time to throw the entire car away.

 

It went without saying that the eagerness to get back into the spirit of finishing where they left off was completely gone by now.

 

Tom’s grief over the death of his car stays stuck on anger.

 

Louis offers to pay for the damage but, Tom won’t even look at him, he’s so pissed off.

 

“This is an _expensive_ brick, mate. Look at the make of it, it’s barely cracked.” Louis turns it over to examine it from every angle.

 

The glass wasn’t even shattered. The black lustre was just as smooth still. Tom glares at it when they get to a red light.

 

“Yes, we wrecked my fucking car _beautifully.”_

 

“It’s hardly _wrecked_.” Louis weighs it up and down. “It’s so smooth.”

 

He hands it to Tom.

 

“Touch it.” His hands move over it. “ _Stroke it.”_

 

“Might as well _insert_ it.”

 

Louis’s face drops.

 

“Are you seriously upset over a broken mirror? There’s not a scratch on it, all they’d have to do it reattach it. I said I’d pay for it.”

 

“And I said I don’t need to you to pay for it.”

 

“I _know_ you don’t. But it’s my fault.”

 

Tom sighs deeply, rubbing over his head as his entire demeanor is beginning to be less manic and more defeated. It’s now Louis sees that this isn’t about the mirror at all.

 

“Louis it’s fine. Just drop it.”

 

Louis watches him for a moment as he’s turned towards Tom in his seat. Tom’s not _this_ materialistic. It’s not just a broken mirror to him. He can see his eyes glistening a little, as if he’s holding back tears.

 

It takes a minute for Louis to say anything.

 

“What happened back there?” Louis asks him gently now that they’ve stopped at a light.

 

Tom closes his eyes.

 

“I… can’t do it.”

 

Louis tilts his head a little.

 

“Can’t drive your wrecked car?”

 

“No, I just can’t do _this_. I thought I could handle it but, I can’t.”

 

Louis smirks at him.

 

“Tom Harlock, the prince of Wellington who smokes Gauloises” Louis motions puffing on a cigarette theatrically,

 

“... wears _Chanel_ and dines with supermodels. Who could probably wreck a _thousand_ rearview mirrors on a _thousand_ Cadillacs and replace it in 5 minutes….”

 

Tom holds in a smile now, which makes Louis smile as well as he leans down to the middle of the gear shift on his elbows.

 

“He can’t handle a broken mirror?”

 

There’s a short pause.

 

“You’ve probably never had a real problem in your whole life.”

 

“I’ve had problems.” Tom retorts shortly and Louis laughs.

 

“Banging the closeted captain of the football team doesn’t count as a problem.”

 

He can tell Tom is holding back a grin. He’s only joking. He knows Tom’s money doesn’t automatically mean his life is perfect, especially knowing as much about him as he does now.

 

Louis just wants Tom to say what the _real_ problem is, because it’s clearly much deeper than the mirror.

 

 _“I can’t sleep with you.”_ Tom sighs finally. “I know you want to. And I thought I could, but I can’t. Not even on sophie.”

 

Louis holds his lips in as he glances around the car.

 

“Because your car isn’t perfect anymore?”

 

 _“Louis,”_ Tom’s head drops sideways before he looks over at him.

 

“I like you.” He admits first like it’s a disclaimer before he looks ahead to drive again.

 

“ _Really_ like you.” He emphasises again.

 

“Cool. I like you too.” Louis smiles. “So what’s he problem?”  

 

Tom shakes his head.

 

“The _problem_ is that I shouldn’t. You’re a _siren_ and I like you too much. I can’t fall for another siren for a _3rd_ time, I just can’t. I can’t sleep with you.” He sounds like he’s trying to convince himself of this.

 

Louis is not at all following what Tom is saying. He seemed pretty good to go not too long ago.

 

“I’m a what?” He squints. Tom slowly down the car as he looks him in the eye.

 

“A siren.” Tom repeats.

 

As they sit in the car parked on the side again now, Tom turns in his seat so they’re in the same position they were in earlier. Only this time, Tom goes on to educate Louis about another myth in Wellington that lurked below the surface of the water he should know about: The siren.

 

*

 

**Harry pov**

 

**_October 3rd, Friday Morning (1 day until the party)_ **

 

It was October 3rd on a Friday morning and everyone decided to have breakfast at Harry’s.

 

He woke up to a siren ringing through his room and not the kind that came from a beautiful woman singing her compelling song to make him fall in love. The annoying sister kind at his door, his personal alarm clock from hell.

 

“Harry wake up. Niall’s downstairs with that blondie, aristobrat.” Gemma pokes her pink pixie-cut head in his room as she knocks on his door but he doesn’t respond.

 

The “blondie aristobrat” meant Tom, someone she purposefully never learns the name of because Gemma doesn’t respect aristocracy or the brats they breed.

 

It doesn’t take long for her to stomp into his room and snatch the pillow off his head when Harry continues to play dead.

 

“ _Gem please go away--”_

 

Gemma jumps on his bed, her angry feet kicking Harry as she bounced over him with his pillow, hitting him in the face every time she came down.

 

 _“Harry Styles, don’t be rude. Your FRIENDS are waiting for you and that stupid Escalade is blocking my car. Get the hell up and go. To. SCHOOL.”_ She hisses like a snake as she hits him in the face one last time before she lands on her feet and stomps out of his room.

 

_“And clean up your bloody room or I’ll clean it up for you!”_

 

That’s a promise - not threat - to throw everything he owns away.

 

Harry glares at his open door like it’s sticking it’s tongue out at him.

 

They do this every time Gemma has class in the morning.

 

If he doesn’t get up in within 5 minutes of her first attack, she comes back and continues to kick him in the stomach until they’re wrestling on the floor and leaving Harry too awake to even dream of going back to sleep for the rest of the weekend. She will drag Harry to school with a grappling hook in his mouth if she had to, and for that, Harry is not going to challenge her.

 

Gemma is a fighter and Harry is tired.

 

 _“Don’t like it? Then drop out of school.”_ Gemma yells from the hall and Harry sits up with a grimace.

 

Downstairs, a rare sighting of friends with breakfast awaits.

 

After he showers, tosses his curls over his forehead, finds his jacket and collects his face into something other than a grimace, he sees Niall waiting on the couch with Tom downstairs, which Harry is surprised by.

 

Tom hasn’t been around in almost a month. Harry almost thought they'd broken up.

 

_“You guys are going with Louis?”_

 

Harry stops when he hears Niall ask Tom about Louis, watching them from the stairs. Tom’s distractedly on his phone, reading some news article about a club appearance Paris Hilton was making soon, his number 1 idol. You would probably never find a bigger fan of her than Tom, not counting herself.

 

They were talking about the pool party tomorrow. They usually go to every party together but, only to have sex right before and then act like they don’t know each other at the actual party.

 

They had the most fucked up relationship ever, even for the standard of just friendship. He knew Kendall had certain rules about Tom acknowledging Niall in public, as if being friends with a jock would “ruin his image” but, he didn’t know the full details. Harry has a suspicion that _Niall_ might have rules about acknowledging him in public too.

 

He found it weird that Tom lets other people dictate his life like that. Even if Tom never complained, he knows that way his relationship with Niall works isn’t the way he wants it. Harry thinks he’d enjoy having a boyfriend he can have a little PDA with. Considering the fact that everyone knows Tom and Niall have been best friends since they were 13, Harry doesn’t get why they think anyone would care.

 

But, it’s not his relationship so, it’s really none of Harry’s business.

 

“I don't know. Probably.” Tom answers him with a nonchalant shrug as he looks over at Niall.

 

“Why?” He plants a small kiss on Niall’s shoulder before going back to his phone.

 

Niall doesn’t answer, gesturing for Tom to let him take a bite of his chocolate muffin.

 

Harry could tell Tom why. Niall doesn’t like Louis. He’s opened a free door for Tom to have another boyfriend and Harry knows that’s Niall’s greatest fear even if he’d _never_ admit it to anyone.

 

His fear of Tom finding someone else. Tom didn’t ever go out with anyone other boy as much as he has been with Louis so, he’s never had to worry about that too seriously until now.

 

Tom laughs when his muffin crumbles into Niall’s lap and on Harry's sofa. He’s just taking it upon himself to sit on Harry’s couch with his platform Oxfords up on the table as his legs are stretched out like this is his house to drag every bit of the outside filth onto.

 

It wasn’t that Harry really cared about Tom getting crumbs all over the place or having his feet on the table -- he knows Tom doesn’t wear shoes that have been worn more than once. It was just little stuff Tom did that rubbed Harry the wrong way sometimes.

 

He wouldn’t say that he and Tom were ever close enough to be considered friends. He never had a desire to. He couldn’t really pinpoint exactly what it was about Tom that he found strange.

 

It was a multitude of things.

 

Sometimes Tom seems to be really shy. Other times he's the total opposite. Something about that was already weird on it's own. But, there was other stuff about his personality aside from how it seemed to flip-flop.

 

Maybe it was his habit of taking pictures of things that could get a lot of people into trouble that made him seem a bit off. Being this sneaky person who knew everyone’s dirty laundry while his laundry stays in the dry cleaner’s closet.

 

He doesn't think he had a split personality. He just had a suspicion that he’s ever met the real Tom. Like he was always playing a character, acting like someone else or downplaying his true self, not just to please other people but, to _fool_ people as well.

 

Lots of people were like that here but, Tom was a little different.

 

Even when they first met, back when everyone thought Tom was really shy a few years ago. When he started going out with Kendall everywhere, it turned out Tom was actually the party hard all night, make appearances at clubs and hop all over the city type. A socialite, not an introvert. You wouldn’t have known that if you met him 3 years ago.

 

The saga of he and Niall was another thing he didn’t understand. Nothing against Niall personally but, he was in the hall of fame for the world’s shittiest boyfriends.

 

Harry can tell that Tom really does love him because he sees how often Niall hurts him. If Tom didn’t care, he wouldn’t be hurt about being lied to and cheated on. Harry used to overhear Kendall and the girls gossiping about how easily Tom can be manipulated. They were always trying to find Tom someone else but, no one has ever measured up to Niall for him and that made Harry feel kind of awful about his relationship with Niall because he could tell how toxic that was just by looking at them.

 

They’ve been fighting a lot more than usual lately. Harry doesn’t know what they’re holding on to outside of sex.

 

Despite all that, they look like things are okay today. They’re not fighting so, maybe their friendship isn’t crashing and burning like how the rumours say. The rumours about Tom replacing Niall with his new bestie.

 

“Are you guys going out today?”

 

“I don't know!” Tom laughs as his eyes flit over to Niall again. Even Harry can hear that he’s lying.

 

“Why do you keep asking me about this?”

 

“Because I don't get why everything is suddenly a secret with you?”

 

Before this turns into a conversation too private for comfort, Harry makes his presence known now.

 

They both look back from over the couch when Harry clears his throat loudly as he walks into the living room.

 

“What are you guys doing here so early?”

 

_Or at all?_

 

Harry doesn’t say that last part as he croaks, the sleep his body begs for in his voice still.

 

“You woke the beast and she took it out on _me.”_

 

“Well, we wanted to treat the boy who slept for 19 years to a nice good morning snack.” Niall tells him.

 

Tom laughs with his muffin, gesturing to the table in front of them where a smorgage board of tasty pastries and morning beverages rest in a neat display. 4 drinks in a tray with all the delicacies you could dream for alongside it.

 

“We got you brekkie!” Tom smiles and Niall sits up and grabs another muffin from the table, raisin swirled dough with chunky apples and streusel icing along with an iced latte.

 

“ _Tom_ got you brekkie, actually.” Niall corrects him as he takes out a bite.

 

Harry could guess that on his own. This food was from Tiffany’s, a breakfast spot on the west end of town as a hommage to the famous 1961 Audrey Hepburn film of the same name. Going there for breakfast, you needed to order ahead so getting anything on the go would cost a you few bricks of gold. Not that Tom was a cheapskate but, Harry can’t remember the last time he got him something this expensive.

 

Harry wasn’t in the mood for food. He takes out a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket, popping one out and holding it between his lips as he narrows his eyes at the two of them suspiciously.

 

“Why the 5 class meal?” He murmurs as he lights it in his mouth instead of joining them.

 

Tom sips from his straw, staying focused on his phone and avoiding Harry’s dubious glare.

 

 _“Most important meal of da day.”_ Niall’s mouth is full of dough when he talks.

 

Harry’s suspicious eyes stay on them for a moment until there’s a knock at the front door.

 

“You gonna get that?” Tom asks a little sarcastically as his eyes flick up from his phone, his subtle way of asking Harry if he’s going to get the door or keep _staring_ at them.

 

Harry takes a drag of his smokes as he backs out of the room. Tom rolls his eyes when Harry turns his back. He takes a second to glance back at them as he goes to the door, watching Tom literally buttering Niall up as he puts a spread on his muffin for him.

 

Something was _definitely_ weird about this entire thing. Or Harry’s just tired and his brain is looking for something to overwork on him.

 

The fact that they’ve been fighting for almost a month and suddenly come baring treats feels too orchestrated for simply feeling generous this morning.

 

When he opens the door, he finds Liam and his girlfriend waiting there in nearly matching long black coats, smiling when he greets them with confusion as he has no idea why they’re here.

 

Yes, _girlfriend_.

 

They look like the married couple they’re destined to be, come to welcome the new neighbour to the community. Sofia with her reading glasses on and dark hair pulled up in a sleek bun while Liam bears treats of his own in his arms.

 

“Morning, gorgeous.” Liam greets Harry as he walks in with Sofia, gesturing to a bag from Tiffany’s as well with a smile.

 

Harry doesn’t really know what else to call Sofia besides Liam’s girlfriend even though she’s not _officially_ his girlfriend. Not the kind he kisses and takes out on romantic dates. Just the person he’s probably going to marry one day.

 

Liam wouldn’t correct it if anyone referred to Sofia as his girlfriend so, that was as much confirmation about it Harry knows of.

 

To make a long and currently irrelevant explanation of her short, this is everything Harry knows about Liam’s girlfriend: Sofia was a petite, Spanish-Italian beauty with a great fashion-sense that was born in New York and spent most of her life travel all over Europe. An old childhood friend of Liam’s, the daughter of an Italian-American shipping mogul and a Spanish countess.

 

Harry refused to refer to her as “exotic” like most people do but, her accent makes it hard to guess where she’s from, vaguely European with a mixture of someone who clearly speaks Spanish as a first language. Along with her tanned skin, dark green eyes and thick dark brown hair, her cultured background and strikingly features made her of one the most gorgeous and classy girls in Wellington.

 

Her father and Liam’s lawyer mother were very close friends, way before either of them were even born. Their parents met a long time ago as they were both first-generation Italians from New York City, went to high-school together and onto the same business school later and both shared the same clients on Wall Street as their friendship remained just as close as always. As a result, their children were friends as well, whether Sofia visited London some summers or Liam spent his own summers back in New York.

 

They weren’t around each other as much the older they got because Sofia spent a lot of time off in between all kinds of private schools in the big cities; Venice, Barcelona, Manhattan and London. Despite that, she and Liam were still pretty much prepped for marriage in the eyes of their parents.

 

One thing everyone knew: Sofia was always in love with Liam. Liam loved her too. Maybe not _in_ love but, fond enough.

 

Harry doesn't know what comes after “friendship” and before “complicated” on the relationship scale. They're a little more than friends but still not quite a couple.

 

Everyone thought they would eventually marry once they became adults and carry on the legacy cause it just made inevitable sense. They had similar lifestyles and were virtually perfect for each other. So, even though it’s never really been official… they’re basically boyfriend and girlfriend.

 

Sofia didn’t actually move to London until last year so Harry hasn’t known her for that long outside of fleeting glimpses of her when she’d visit throughout the years.

 

Now, how Sofia took to _Zayn_ arriving in Liam’s life, Harry has very little knowledge of. He knows that around the time Liam and Zayn met, Sofia wasn’t in the country and her visits were fleeting. He’s sure they two of them meeting was an event just like it always is when someone meets Zayn.

 

Zayn always stuck out like a sore thumb no matter where he was. Standing out and not fitting in wasn’t a bad thing to Harry. There was something horrendously humdrum about fitting into this kind of crowd that was impossible for Harry to ever imagine Zayn doing. Zayn always said he stood out because he was simply outstanding because he’s cocky and enjoys the stares.

 

He tended to confuse all the boys because of his unsettling prettiness and he enjoyed his natural ability to make people uncomfortable just by being himself. Social class is everything in their world and the working class was not to be mingled with the likes of someone like Liam. Like the pauper and the prince but, better dressed.

 

Liam and Zayn together didn’t make as much sense to anyone as Liam and Sofia. Liam didn’t even have that much in common with Zayn like he did with Sofia. But somehow, they worked for a while despite how different they were.

 

He doesn’t know how Zayn’s arrival on this beach went when he first got here but, he does know it was a dramatic saga once upon a time. Drama used to follow Zayn everywhere before he dropped off everyone’s radar. There were a lot of stories about it.

 

Harry didn’t really know enough about Sofia to judge if he liked her over Zayn for Liam. He doesn’t know if she’s a snob or down to Earth. Whenever he sees her nowadays, all he can think about is the fact that her mother died last year and that’s why she permanently moved here since her father travels a lot. Freak accident during some kind of cosmetic surgery. If anything, Harry just feels really bad for her.

 

Another thing she and Liam had in common. Neither of them had mothers to talk to anymore.

 

Harry doesn’t know what he’d do with himself if he lost his. For that, he would always welcome Sofia into his home, invited or not. She deserved a warm welcome.

 

“Got you breakfast!” Sofia smiles as Liam cheeses with the food.

 

 _What the hell?_ Harry does a legitimate double-take at the randomness of this setting.

 

He hasn’t had this many people over for breakfast in exactly zero years, let alone getting food delivered to him from the best spots in the city like he’s the prince of Wellington.

 

Harry nods with a strained smile towards Sofia as she comes inside behind Liam, closing the door behind them. Tom and Niall both look over the couch to see who’s joining the morning dining.

 

“Umm… thanks? But you didn’t--”

 

“Oh.”

 

Liam stops when he sees that Harry isn’t alone and there is already breakfast going down in his living room.

 

A wave of awkward quickly descends, everyone looking between the other as the atmosphere becomes a sort of wacky faux pas as if everyone arrived to a party that no one was actually invited to.

 

Harry almost feels like he should excuse himself out but then he remembers this is _his_ house and everyone here right now really _weren’t_ invited.

 

Liam quickly pulls out his old charming smile as he clears his throat and blinks down at his delivery of Tiffany’s, clearing his throat with a laugh.

 

 _“Well,”_ he chuckles, looking back at Harry and Sofia with raised brows in a way that read _aw shucks_ like he’s the one who made a mistake here.

 

“The more the merrier?”

 

“I’d say so.” Niall chirps happily, more than okay with more food added to the mix for his vacuum-like consumption.

 

Liam plucks Harry’s cigarette as he walks into the living room, dangling it in the air in disapproval before he drops it in the ashtray on the table and crushes it.

 

“Cigarettes for breakfast sounds very unhealthy.”

 

“ _Cancerous_ even.” Niall chimes.

 

Harry rolls his eyes as he takes Sofia’s coat for her and tosses it across a lone chair behind her back as she kicks off her pumps and they all gather around the table, crossing their legs on the floor to actually have breakfast together like civilised people.

 

Tom is forced to remove his feet from the table when Liam kicks his legs down as he passes by him, earning him a dark glare as Tom’s eyes darken when his feet fall as he watches Liam smile past him before he sits in between Sofia and Harry on the other side.

 

“You guys know Michael Crook right?” Tom asks when everyone’s settled around.

 

“Crooked Mikey?” Sofia asks. Tom nods.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“What about him?” Niall asks. “You want some illegal government documents.”

 

“No, not really.” Tom laughs, absently picking with the back of Niall’s shirt.

 

“Do any of you know if he still does phones?”

 

Liam glances up at Tom with a mixture of suspicion and curiosity as his brows furrow while unpacking breakfast. Tom wanting to hack a phone sounds a little too shady for comfort.

 

Niall takes a moment to think about that before he only shrugs.

 

“Dunno. Why don't you go ask him?”

 

Tom pauses in sipping his latte as he looks at Niall blankly.

 

“Because that hallway is full of chavs and crackheads.”

 

That was kind of true. A little exaggerated but, the music and arts hall was known as the underworld of Wellington. It had too many rumours about it that gave it a reputation of being a bit of a dangerous place.

 

It was home to the most colourful and talented people in school. Talented painters, band geeks, orchestra prodigies, singers and sprites. But it also had all the deep-web hackers and scammers, drug dealers, demons, sirens and hardcore stoners dwelling in the shadows as well.

 

Someone like Tom voyaging there alone… he’d be eaten alive. But, that’s where you’d find crooked Mikey.

 

“We'll come with you.” Niall gestures to himself and Harry, rubbing under his nose.

 

Jocks were pretty much allowed wherever they wanted.

 

“We can go at the end of the day. Right Haz?”

 

Harry breaks out of his daze, not at all paying attention to the conversation as the topic had become a series of blank sounds coming out of everyone's mouths around him.

 

“Sorry?”

 

Tom shakes his head.

 

“No, I can’t wait that long. I need to go before school ends.”

 

Liam takes out the contents of his bag as he looks at Tom.

 

“Stalking Paris Hilton?” Liam asks with a sweet smile.

 

“Photo project for Kaia Gerber.” Tom smiles back at him, equally nice despite the dig.

 

“Are you interested?”

 

“In Cindy Crawford’s daughter? Nope.” Sofia pops the P as she digs into breakfast after answering for Liam, who smiles at her.

 

“No, not at all.” He agrees.

 

“Isn’t she Kendall Jenner’s runway rival?” Sofia wonders.

 

“With Fendi, Versace, _Prada_ and _YSL_ in Paris last month at barely 16? _Everyone_ is comparing them.” Tom nods as he rolls his eyes, sinking back into the couch with his phone as he fluffs his wispy hair.

 

Sounds like sabotage.

 

“Her editorials are shit but the bitch _eats_ that fucking catwalk. I need Mikey to jailbreak my contacts.”

 

Liam already knows Tom is lying so, he doesn’t comment. Only snorting to himself. Whatever Tom's up to, isn't good. But, he doesn’t care. Just sips his latte without comment.

 

As they eat together and make idle conversation, Harry drums his fingers under the table anxiously.

 

He stares up at the chandelier over the front door, swinging back and forth as if a wild man had just been swinging from it a few minutes ago. He can’t remember if that has always been there or not.

 

Niall nudges him from under the table, breaking him out of his blank thought.

 

 _‘Are you high?’_ He mouths with concerned eyebrows knit together.

 

Harry frowns, shaking his head _no_ as he sighs and slumps over the table, beginning to sip on a latte to get his juices flowing but, it's just going to make him jittery all morning.

 

He could really use that cigarette.

 

He _is_ coming up on a high that’s making him paranoid after popping a pill after the shower. He’s sure his eyes are giving it away as he can feel them weighing down to give him his signature look of being dead inside but, it was just meant to make him less anxious about today since everyone seems to be attacking him with human interaction this morning.

 

He’d rather not confirm it so Niall the empath doesn’t get paranoid with him.

 

He would say that this feels like some kind of planned thing to get him out of bed and to school as he looks around at his friends and their significant others they’ve dragged along with them. He knows they mean well but, he doesn’t need babysitters to conspired behind his back.

 

But he knows for a fact that this breakfast wasn’t planned, at least not together.

 

Liam would not have come if he knew Tom was already gonna be here, not even for Harry. And Tom wouldn’t be here if he knew Liam was coming over. Even if Niall put a grappling hook of his own in Tom's mouth to drag him here, he would not come within 10 feet of Liam if he sees him anywhere.

 

It’s not because Tom is afraid of Liam. No one can get them in the same room by their own will. It’s been like that for years. No one knows why.

 

To be quite honest, Harry is only vaguely aware of what goes on in Wellington. There’s too much to keep up with. The drama never ends so, he tends to tune it out so he can be as uninvolved as possible.

 

If you want real information about what happened between every single person in school or any kind of backstory he wasn’t directly involved in, Harry was not the person to go to for it.

 

He tried to stay out of it and most of it happened years before he even came into the picture.

 

All he knew was Liam and Tom simply hated one another but pretended like they didn’t. They’d smile in each others faces and pass off a fake charm to each other but, the minute they were out of earshot, the shit-talking flew through the window.

 

The question of why is mostly unknown. This Liam vs. Tom thing has been going on since they were 10 according to some of their close friends.

 

After Zayn showed up, Liam ditched Tom for a new best friend and they haven’t really been the same since. Personally, that little tidbit has always lead Harry to believe that Tom may have had a crush on Liam back then. He could see why being ditched might've hurt, watching him fall in love with Zayn. He can't think of any other reason for why Liam’s thing with Zayn has always seemed to bring anger and bitterness out of him.

 

One trend here Harry couldn’t help notice: 100% of the drama he picked up on always seemed to have a common denominator: _Zayn_ in the background somewhere. Like it genuinely followed his trail. His homewrecking days are far from over.

 

 _Whatever_ happened between them, Harry and Niall usually just tried to keep Liam and Tom away from each other so they wouldn’t get the swords out to duel each other with. Hard to do, considering how many mutual friends they have.

 

“So is this my intervention or did you do all this because you just love me that much?” Harry asks up front now as he looks between Niall and Liam, who both exchange quick glances that read _yes_.

 

“It wasn’t my idea.” Niall admits quickly.

 

 _“Actually,”_ Liam overrides him as he swallows, “It _was_ your idea which is why I’m confused as to why you’re here as you decided _I_ was coming over and taking him to school.” He’s pointing towards himself to call out Niall’s lie as they start arguing.

 

“That’s not what we said!”

 

Harry drowns out their voices as he eyes Liam’s watch curiously. An 18-karat, rose gold[ Astronomia ](https://www.jacobandco.com/timepieces/astronomia-sky) sky watch that blings in the light when his wrist flicks as he talks exuberantly.

 

It’s got a tiny globe twisting over a recreation of the sky to tell you where the planet is in relation to the rest of the universe, an orbiting calendar that moves in sync with the rotation of Earth, a three-dimensional sidereal display of each month and what they call a “Jacob Cut” red moon sapphire with nearly 300 sides.

 

That fine watch would help you find every star in the sky, hence it’s framed name.

 

By Harry’s quick estimation, a diamond baguette like that was worth 1.2 _million_ USD, liquid. There’s 18 pieces to it and it could probably tell you the coordinates of where you were standing on Earth if you were lost in the damn Sahara desert.

 

All that shit and Harry still can’t figure out how you actually tell time on it.

 

Liam’s grandfather gave it to him last year as a gift for passing his driver’s exam. Considering that the guy was on Forbes “billionaires on the rise” list a few years ago, the watch was chump change.

 

Although, it was obvious it was just a distraction for when his mother’s divorce went public in the press around the same time. It didn’t distract much, but Liam still added it to his collection with gratitude. He bought another older model at an auction this year for 5K that was going to triple in value within the next year. And that just keeps building, and keeps building.

 

Harry couldn’t estimate how much Liam’s collections are gonna be worth in 10-15 years because he couldn’t count that high. Watches weren’t the only thing he collected. Wines, travel tags, retro comics, random investments at farmers markets to help support local businesses.

 

Now that Liam can drive, he was looking at cars. Next year when he moves, it’d be properties. When he turns 21 and officially begins his life as a business man, it’d be stuff he’s really interested in. Breweries and muni bonds for conservation and community development. That wasn’t something most teens with money at their disposal did but, his mother made Liam turn investing and saving into a hobby.

 

He wasn’t just a super rich kid that’s parents gave him everything. He was on the road to being extremely wealthy as his parents made him get a job and save through his own investments. There was a difference between being rich and being wealthy. Only one upstands it’s value and builds on it’s own more than you have to work for. Being wealthy secured you financial freedom.

 

Tom and Liam were _the_ wealthiest teenagers in this city.

 

Most of Liam’s collections stayed locked in a vault and only a few people knew about it just because advertising it was the best way to be stalked, robbed, and in some cases murdered.

 

Liam only wore this watch for when he wanted good luck from the stars above, which either meant today was an important day for Liam or he was extremely nervous about something he played off remarkably well in the face.

 

“We had an agreement.” Niall continues their argument as he sits up straight with frowned brows.

 

“You said just yesterday you couldn’t come over because of yearbook shit so I said I would.”

 

“No, that’s _not_ what I said.” Liam counters. “Do you ever listen to anyone?”

 

“Don’t speak to him like that.” Tom cuts Liam off and Harry puts his hands up.

 

 _“Guys_ , it’s _fine_.”

 

“Speak to him like what?” Liam squints at Tom as they now ignore Harry trying to calm this down.

 

“This is the basic economics of logic. Niall,” He shakes his head at them with a confused laugh.

 

“You don’t have a _car_ , what sense would it make for us to agree that you’d take someone to school when you’re not even a licensed driver?”

 

That was a pretty good point. Everyone looks at Niall for his response.

 

 _“Because I was coming with Tom?”_ he says slowly but Liam rolls his eyes.

 

“Even outside of that, ‘yearbook things’ meant giving Zayn and Perrie their tickets to the dance today for winning yearbook cover. Which I told you and everyone _else_ in NHS that Harry was giving to me because he’s on student council so I _know_ we agreed it made more sense for me to drive him to school since I was already stopping by anyways.” Liam continues to explain a conversation he and Niall had that Niall doesn’t seem to remember as he squints in confusion.

 

“We were both there along with half a dozen other people.” He gestures to himself and Sofia on the other side of Harry now.

 

Sofia nods in agreement with a sigh.

 

“We did say we were coming over, Niall. Like 4 weeks ago.”

 

As Harry listens to them arguing with each other about who actually was supposed to come over and do what today, he’s suddenly reminded that he was supposed to be expecting Liam to come by today to get the tickets to the dance.

 

 _“_ Oh… _crap,”_ Harry squints his eyes shut as he holds his head with both hands, covering his eyes to wake himself up.

 

“I completely forgot about the tickets,”

 

“Yeah, you “forget” everything lately.” Tom mutters with rolled eyes as he goes back to his phone.

 

Everyone seemed more pissed off than usual today, a sign that it was going to be a shitty weekend.

 

Harry was supposed to give Liam the two tickets to the dance to award to the winners of yearbook cover on behalf of the honours committee. Since Liam was in charge this year, he of course chose Zayn and Perrie to win, along with two gift certificates to Tiffany’s like they’ve got every year for the last 4 years.

 

He swears he chose honestly but everyone knows Zayn could’ve handed in a piece of paper with nothing but his load shot on it and Liam would’ve gave him yearbook cover for “avant garde creativity”.

 

The tickets were in two sealed envelopes in Harry’s room… somewhere under his mess.

 

Liam didn’t even have to go all the way on the other side of town to get breakfast as Harry realises he got it so Harry could have some too. He suddenly feels like he should be expressing a little more gratitude towards Liam instead of complaining. Liam didn’t have to go out of the way to do that.

 

Liam smiles towards Niall while Harry shrugs sheepishly with a small smile.

 

“Soz Ni, he’s right. I forgot Liam was coming over,” He snorts, which bums Niall out, batting Tom’s teasing hands away as he laughs at Niall’s outrage at being the one that was wrong here.

 

“Swear no one told me this. No one ever tells me anything!” His complains. Sofia tells him she’ll start sending out reminders in the NHS group chat for him.

 

Liam stops Harry from standing up to go to his room.

 

“Wait, that’s not all.”

 

Harry’s brows raise, trying to remember what else he forgot.

 

Liam lowers his voice now as everyone else goes on talking without them.

 

“I think I may know the perfect tutor for you.”

 

Harry’s eyes bulge with excitement as he smiles wide. His spirits begin to physically lift inside him as a spark goes off.

 

_“Seriously?!?”_

 

Liam puts his hands up now, a gesture for Harry not to get _too_ excited.

 

“Don’t get your hopes up just yet. I still haven’t brought it up to him.” His brows frown a little now, which means whoever he’s thinking about asking, he doesn’t like.

 

“I think he’ll be free.” He says anyways. “He’s not in a tonne of stuff yet because he’s still sort of new. He’s only been here 3 weeks so I reckon he’s got plenty of free-time.”

 

Harry’s blood runs hot, feeling his cheeks warming as his smile falls.

 

“Who?” Niall asks although, Harry already knows who.

 

“Tomlinson. Don’t know if you know him. He’s sort of--”

 

“Wild?” Sofia cuts Liam off with a laugh.

 

“I was gonna say _busy.”_ Liam says, gentle in his tone as his brows wrinkled attractively when he looks across Harry at Sofia.

 

Sometimes, moments like this happen when Liam makes a certain expression and Harry is thrown by how classically handsome he is. Resting face or charming smile, he got by a lot with his looks. The brain and kindness was a bonus.

 

There was this soft but still firmly masculine essence to him that made him put the _gentle_ in gentleman. The kind of guy you’d bring home to your father and actually get boyfriend approval for after bonding over broil and a pint during a barbecue while talking about their favourite sports team.

 

He could charm the skin off a snake, as they say, and probably convince anyone to tutor Harry with those chocolate eyes that melt whatever they land on.

 

Harry is confident he might have a tutor. But, he’s not really sure if he _wants_ Louis to tutor him.

 

The guy is very much a genius and he’ll very much think Harry is a dumb ass if he speaks more than 4 words to him.

 

Just today in calc, he asked Louis what day it was, even though he already knew it was October 3rd.

 

Louis told him it was October 3rd.

 

That was about as much conversation as Harry could afford.

 

Liam’s eyes flit back over to Harry as he smiles now with a quick wink.

 

“Don’t worry, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. I’m asking him today.” He picks up a muffin of his own now.

 

“Are you joking?” Sofia adjusts her glasses with a grimace. “You told me Lewis doesn’t even look like he has time to _sleep_. You think he’s going to be bothered with tutoring someone?”

 

“I didn’t say _that_.” Liam clears his throat as he eats with tinting cheeks, adjusting his collar nervously.

 

“And besides, why wouldn’t he? He’s a nice guy.” Liam shrugs absently as he peels the wrapper.

 

Harry tilts his head a little. That was true. Louis _was_ really nice. And really funny. The best part about it was that it wasn’t just an act. He doesn’t know why he’d think Louis would judge him for needing a tutor. He doesn't strike Harry as the judgmental type.

 

“Have you not seen him all over instagram throwing back drinks off supermodel tits? You already said he doesn’t do anything but waste time on his own self-indulgent pleasures.”

 

Harry notices that Sofia is the _very_ judgemental type. Liam waves her off dismissively.

 

“Well, his character doesn’t change the fact that he’s a bloody _genius_ and would make Harry a great tutor since he clearly has free-time outside of school. It can’t hurt to ask. I’m not interested in Lewis’s personal life. I’m interested in helping Harry.” He says simply before he chomps into his pastry so they stop talking about it but, Niall shakes his head in disagreement.

 

“Nah Payno, she’s right. That’s a _bad_ call. He’s smart but, that kid is fucking intense. Harry doesn’t need that.” Niall looks at Harry now, taking out his phone.

 

For some reason, everyone’s lack of knowing how to say his name is starting to piss Harry off. He’s either “that kid” or Lewis around here.

 

Niall’s pulled up Kendall’s tracked name on instagram, filled with candid pictures people have got of her nights out with her many boy friends. Louis is in quite a few, having a blast popping bottles with models, dancing with go-go dancers and letting guys with glitter in their hair grind on him.

 

Harry is going to pretend like he hasn’t already seen all of these pictures as he stalks her name more than he’ll ever admit.

 

They weren’t exaggerating. Louis is a _busy_ body. But that doesn’t correlate with the fact that he’s ridiculously smart. Mrs. Flack hates him.

 

He runs circles around her in calc. Seeing how interesting his life is outside of school was so fascinating to Harry because looking at him online, you’d never think he was the same person when you talk to him in real life. He wasn’t really a socialite but, he sure did look the part well. People in the general public were beginning to wonder who Kendall’s “new best friend” was so, he was on the fast track to becoming one.

 

Harry couldn’t explain the kind of person Louis was. Even if he comes to school really tired and kind of sluggish, his whole vibe wasn’t like anyone he’d ever met before. He supposes he just seemed… really gay. The happy kind that makes you feel good being around him. Kind of like Liam. Even if he had a rough night, he always had that bright smile.

 

There wasn’t a lot of people here like that. It was refreshing.

 

He still doubts Louis has free time to tutor him regardless. His life seems to be in the fast lane. Not in books.

 

“Do you guys really think instagram indicates any version of reality?” Liam shakes his head as he squints up between Niall and Sofia.

 

“We don’t know him. How could we know if any of that stuff people say is true? These pictures are all out of context. I doubt any of you have actually had a genuine conversation with him.” He snorts lightly, going back to his breakfast.

 

Everyone else’s gaze shifts over at Tom now, who has been checked out of the conversation from the start as he sips his coffee silently. His eyes lift up from his phone when it gets quiet, looking between everyone waiting for his input.

 

 _“What?”_ He shifts uncomfortably.

 

“Aren’t you guys are like…”

 

“Always together…” Sofia finishes Harry’s sentence. Tom only shrugs.

 

“So…?”

 

He avoids saying if they’re actually friends or… anything else. If anyone in this school knows the most about Louis, it’s Tom.

 

“So, is he as wild as advertised? You’re up his arse 85% of the time, you should know.” Niall says as he takes Tom’s coffee for a sip of his own.

 

“I don’t know where you get your sources but, I’m not up _anyone_.” He says carefully, almost like he’s subtly reassuring Niall he’s not sleeping with Louis as he takes his drink from Niall’s lips and bops his nose with a nice smile, then turns to the rest of them.

 

“You want him to tutor you? _Ask him._ I’m not his keeper. How the fuck should I know his schedule?”

 

“Thank you.” Liam nods but Tom looks over at him with quirked brows.

 

“But you’re wasting your time.” He adds. Liam looks up at him with pursed lips as Tom turns to Harry now.

 

“Harry, you don’t need a tutor. It’s calc. We learned that in _ages_ ago.” He says indignantly, as if Harry should’ve been working on college level mathematics in at 5 years old.

 

“Well, not everyone got their education from Montessori Nursery and Battersea prep. Peasants like me maybe need extra help.” Harry says sweetly.

 

Tom and Liam both exchange a look that Liam snorts at, shaking his head with a smile as he looks away. Of course, he’s happy that Harry just dragged Tom’s ignorance for not recognising his own privilege as he goes back to taking a bite.

 

Montessori and Battersea were prestigious co-ed prep schools in the south of London where Tom, Liam and all the rest of the rich kids went to as children. Anyone who pays £10,000 a term for their 4 years old to go to day school to learn ballet, French, music, arts and phy. ed., along with personal tutors that doubled as nannies were going to have kids that came out as geniuses by the time they got to high school.

 

Harry did not have that privilege.

 

Tom doesn’t seem to care.

 

“ _Well_ , maybe if you laid off the xanax, you wouldn’t forget everything you hear in class or need a tutor.”

 

Harry frowns now as everything gets quiet again.

 

“I have _anxiety.”_ He says slowly but Tom rolls his eyes.

 

“Yes, you and everyone else who got a prescription from a doctor that fills a quota to distribute it to literally anyone who asks for it, which according to _some_ has doubled within the last 6 months.” He says, going back to his phone and latte.

 

Harry shoots a look down at Niall now, whose head hangs down to avoid Harry’s eyes.

 

He knows Niall told Tom that, something Harry let him know with confidence.

 

“Although I know you’re incapable, just remember that tutoring isn’t gonna help if you’re too high to remember anything he says. Or, you know, _dead._ ”

 

Tom looks at Liam again briefly.

 

“Don’t ask him to tutor someone who’s gonna waste his time. I can assure you, ‘self-indulgent pleasures’ _is_ having better things to do. Not trying to revive a zombie.”

 

He props his shoes back on the table after his full read, sipping his latte as if he didn’t just come for Harry’s entire life in 5 seconds. Harry doesn’t have the energy to get his claws out with Tom. It’s easy to forget how mean he actually is, reminding Harry exactly why he and Niall get along so well despite everything.

 

They both can be dicks sometimes.

 

He gets up and leaves the table to go to his room and get Liam’s tickets so everyone can get the hell out of his house.

 

“We’re gonna be late for school.” He mutters as he drops his napkin over his place.

 

“Haz, _wait--”_

 

 _“Niall.”_ Harry stops as he looks at him blankly with a tired half-shrug, fully translating his utterly exhausted state of being.

 

What’s the point in saying anything else that hasn’t already been said? And it’s not even 9 yet.

 

He’s ready for this day to be over already. Hell no he wasn’t going out this weekend.

 

Harry tells them they can leave when he comes back as he goes on his way upstairs. Niall slaps Tom in the shoulder while Liam and Sofia look at each other with identical frowns.

 

_“Ouch!”_

 

_“Why are you so fucking rude?”_

 

 _“You're all thinking it.”_ Tom hisses. _“Don't hiss at me for saying it. This isn’t even about his grades. Everyone knows he’s a mess. We wouldn't even be here if he wasn't on the brink of offing himself with an overdose.”_

 

Harry ignores their voices downstairs as he closes his door behind him and wipes over his face like he’s trying to rub off the grime built up over him although, it’s useless. Wiping himself clean would involve a sheet sander and a large dosage of opiates and Harry hasn’t got that kind of money.

 

He steps over his mess to get to his even messier desk, beginning to rummage through the files.

 

All his mess seems like miniature mountains surrounding him, waiting to topple over and crush him as he looks around, trying to remember where the hell he put those envelopes. He doesn't know why he's even upset.

 

Tom's right. His room’s not the mess. He _is_ the mess. It’s standing right there in his mirror. The ridiculous image of a boy who can’t keep it together anymore. He doesn't even know how he's managed to keep friends.

 

There's a soft knock at the door when Harry looks up in the mirror and finds Niall poking his head inside.

 

“Hey.”

 

Harry nods for him to come inside as he teeters in with a tight smile.

 

“Need help?”

 

“Isn't that why you're all here?”

 

Niall snorts with a shrug.

 

“‘ _Why are we here?’”_ He wonders out loud as he helps Harry sort through his drawer, folding piles of papers neatly that Harry tosses out.

 

“What a loaded question. Philosophers have wondered since the dawn of time. The best answer I can come up with is, we're in London. Where the fuck else are we gonna go?”

 

Harry rolls his eyes, continuing to toss around the contents of his drawer.

 

"What would I ever do without your charming wit?"

 

Niall holds his lip in for a second. He sets the pile down and turns to Harry, leaning on the desk.  

 

“You know we only mean well, right?” Niall asks now.

 

“Shouldn't you be downstairs making sure the knives don't come out?”

 

Niall laughs, shaking his head.

 

“Sofia’s a pretty good referee so, I think the knives are safe.”

 

Harry rolls his eyes, closing the drawer as he looks up at Niall finally.

 

“Why did you tell him that?”

 

No, that’s the wrong question to ask so Harry quickly takes it back. Niall and Tom tell each other everything, he’s not really betrayed by it right now.

 

“Better yet, why did you bring him here?”

 

“Because he offered to get you _breakfast_ and a ride to school.” Niall says seriously.

 

“I didn’t bring him here. He came here on his own because he cares too. Tom doesn't think you’re a peasant, Harry. Yeah, he’s a little passive aggressive but, that's just his way of expressing his concern. We're all here for _you_ . I don’t want you to feel ambushed. We just want to see you do better. That's all. Whether you need a gentle nudge to come to school or a knee to the balls to get out of bed, we'll be there to give it to you. Even Gemma agreed to help you clean up a little. Because we're your _friends.”_

 

Harry rubs down his neck as Niall nudges a smile out of him, now piecing together Gemma’s unsolicited attack this morning.

 

Unless he wants his balls intact, he has to agree now knowing she’s in on this too. She wasn’t the gentle nudge type. More like the Jason Voorhees with a machete type.

 

“Yeah okay.” Harry nods.

 

He knows he's right. All of them are right. He _wouldn't_ need a tutor if he took a lower dosage. The effects it has on his memory could last for years at the rate he was going.

 

“So we're going to school and not giving up on life before it starts.”

 

Harry nods with a sigh as Niall reaches down and produces the manila envelopes with the tickets inside, perfectly in tact as they sat right in the pocket of the very jacket Harry is wearing.

 

“Yeah.” Niall laughs as Harry covers his face with a groan, breathing deeply before he takes the envelopes.

 

Harry agrees he’ll get his shit together. Niall even offers to help him clean up his room after school but, Harry declines.

 

“Thought I’d run around in the field for a while.”

 

Niall agreed it was good to clear his head. But, a clean headspace wouldn’t last with a messy atmosphere so, they agree he’ll help him clean up his stuff as well sometime this week.

 

“You know, for what it’s worth, I think Louis could potentially be a great tutor.” Niall tells him as they’re going back downstairs.

 

“Yeah…” Harry’s mouth tugs into a smile now. “Me too.”

 

He has a really small bulb of hope that he’ll tell Liam yes.

 

“But it’s risky.” Niall adds. “Be careful with him. I wouldn’t get too close.”

 

“Why would I have to be careful?” Harry snorts.

 

“Cause I heard he fucks guys.”

 

Harry squints.

 

“What does that have to do with anything?”

 

“I know the kind of person he is.” Niall shrugs casually. “I get bad vibes from him advertising it all over the place. He’s kind of out there. It’s not even a rumour at this point. It could get messy if you’re not careful.”

 

The brakes get pulled all of the sudden as Harry stops mid-step, blinking a few times. Niall stops too a few steps down, looking back at Harry with confusion.

 

Very slowly, Harry looks down at Niall again.

 

“Are you actually saying that there’s something wrong with hanging out with someone who’s openly gay?”

 

Niall pulls a flabbergasted expression, as if this came out of nowhere, shaking his head quickly.

 

“No, no. Of _course not.”_ He almost laughs at Harry’s ridiculous accusation. “I’m not saying that at all. I’ve just worked with him very closely and his behaviour that I’ve noticed leads me to believe you two hanging out might end badly for _you_ if you get too close.”

 

They really could not have agreed any less. Everyone knows Louis is gay and it’s not because his behaviour “advertises” it.

 

He doesn’t care who knows. Harry doesn’t either. Like Liam said, his private life isn’t any of their business.

 

Just because Niall feels threatened by him, doesn’t mean Harry has to. Niall’s feelings of discomfort about Louis are more than obviously from his anxiety about _Tom_. He wouldn’t be saying that if Liam had’ve told them he was asking someone like Maz, a known and fluid bisexual that not only killed in on the drums but Calculus as well.

 

Harry doesn’t say that to Niall, even if it’s true.

 

“So it’s just _me_ that should be careful hanging out with a gay guy like Louis or is there some kind of  prerequisite everyone has to meet the requirements for?” Harry sits down on the steps now, tilting his head sideways as he blinks, genuinely curious as to where Niall is going with this.

 

“Harry, don't put words in my mouth.”

 

Harry looks to the side in thought before he shakes his head.

 

“Well I’m just listening to _you_ .” He says honestly. “Because it sounds to me that you don’t think gay guys and straight guys should publicly be friends… which I know can’t _possibly_ be true seeing that your best friend has been 1,000% out for the last, how many years?”

 

Niall stoops in front of Harry now, leaning on one propped up knee.

 

“I wasn’t sayin’ that but, if you really wanna go there, there’s a difference bewteen me and you. I consensually _fuck_ my best friend. If you ever tried to have such an arrangement, you’d have a stroke.” He says bluntly, moving on before Harry can say anything to that.

 

“Look, I know what you’re trying to imply and that’s _not_ what I mean by keep your distance. I’m not homophobic _.”_ He rolls his eyes.

 

“It’s not because he's gay, so to speak. Yeah, everyone knows he’s gay. But I think he _fucks_ guys.”

 

Harry doesn’t understand what he’s saying to Niall rolls his eyes and slows down his tone completely.

 

“Louis is smart and nice and all but, he is also what you call a _siren_. I'm telling you to be careful with him for the same reason I told you to be careful around Zayn, who he hangs out all the time, by the way. As you know, birds of a feather….”

 

Niall’s voice trails off, muffled as Harry zones out.

 

He frowns as he suddenly remembers they had this conversation before at the beginning of the last year about Zayn when rumours about Zayn hitting and quitting were swirling like crazy.

 

“The siren” was an urban legend in Wellington all the guys know of and fear and all the girls despise. It was the kind of person you were better off avoiding being involved with. There were only a handful on record. All the ones he knew of were found in the arts hall.

 

Harry supposes he’s hardly ever considered one to be a _boy_ . Aside from the fact that it’s just a habit to not really count Zayn as a _normal_ boy sometimes, the siren was usually embodied as a female. But, there were a few exceptions. Like Zayn, the ultimate siren of all sirens.

 

They lure boys in with their feminine charm, suck them into the turbines and spit them back out at the bottom of an abyss in pieces. Utterly attractive but so much more untouchable.

 

Being called a siren wasn’t really a compliment, depending on who you ask and in what context you use it in. Calling someone that around here, especially a girl, was an insult just as bad as calling them a cunt. Just a nice way of calling them a man-eating whore that had the goods to die for. Some people might take that as a compliment.

 

It was the kind of girl (or person) that fucked like a stud. Any poor sap would fall for them. Giving someone that much power made them dangerous.

 

Harry has always known that was the irony behind Zayn and his band choosing to call themselves _Touch_ since the two lead singers were known sirens.

 

Zayn told Harry that the sexual innuendo was intended when he asked about the name of his band. As if they were taking the piss at a stigma and taking back power in a negative word by calling themselves it instead. It was a clever concept. Actual sirens indeed had the power to touch and seduce people with their voices so, referencing themselves to being “sirens” turned something negative into their own empowered success as singers.

 

Zayn proved that sexuality and gender are as frivolous to femininity as reading the terms and conditions to a new toy. It was overlooked so it suddenly didn’t matter - why he gets away with wrecking “straight” guys.

 

They were dangerous lovers. Some might even say _murderous_. They could touch you in all the right places, make you cut out your own heart, wrap it in silk and give it to them freely without a second glance nor one emotion attached in return.

 

There was a popular myth around here that the best sex comes from emotionally unavailable sociopaths. Those were the sirens.

 

They don’t love. They touch your lust and make it feel like love, fuck you with it and kill you afterwards, flawlessly.

 

Number one rule when encountering the siren: don’t get too close.

 

“From a distance, he seems all innocent and friendly.” Niall gives Harry a mockingly jolly smile with jazz hands, until he stops.

 

“But I can clearly see that he is _too_ friendly and probably eats nice boys like you for breakfast. He’s the type of person who idolises someone like Daisy in a world of Gatsby's and those kind of people are dangerous to innocent people like _you_ . The vulnerable. Remember our good friend Liam? He was just _friends_ with one and he still managed to get chewed up, spat out, and his emotional stability ruined. All because he exposed his soul to a siren.”

 

Harry doesn’t say anything because the point is clear now.

 

He’s talking from experience. Niall was a borderline siren _himself_. Takes one to know one.

 

“How do you know he hangs out with Zayn?” Harry frowns. “That’s just a rumour.”

 

“Because T told me he’s at Zayn’s house almost every day and they’re remarkably good at keeping their little trysts a secret.”

 

Harry rolls his eyes. Of course. But that means… it’s not a rumour then. When you get information from _Tom,_ it isn’t a rumour. Harry doesn’t wonder how he knows everything he does. He had the pictures to prove everything he said.

 

“When I say be careful, it’s not because he’s gay _._ That is almost completely irrelevant in this situation. Guys like _him_ seduce guys like _you,_ gay or straight. Trust me, it happens around here every week. Here are simply two able bodies and a broken heart. Just add sex and it’s a perfect recipe for a natural disaster.” Niall makes clear now.

 

“If you heard how he talks about boys in NHS, you’d know that Louis has the mentality of a borderline sociopath which is probably why he and Kenny get on so well. He thinks like a female. According to Tom, he fucks guys like one too. You don’t want to be _that_ guy. I don’t want you to get fucked up like you did last time. I’m simply saying _be careful_ because you’d be best to avoid his hit list _._ Go ahead and let him tutor you if he’s available. Hang out with em. Laugh with em. Have _fun_ with em. But don’t let em _fuck you_. Because you’re the type that falls for em and gets fucked over.”

 

Okay here’s another thing Harry understands. The entire theory about “the siren” was based _heavily_ on stereotypes and misogyny. Some guy that may or may not exist got rejected by a girl one day and the entire theory that any girl who had sex with guys like that lived on forever.

 

The way Niall keeps using terms like “it” and “them” redundantly remind Harry of how dehumanising it actually it.

 

Did that make it right? No. But did it refute its relevance? Also no. Urban myths were alternate versions of the truth. Even in taking it with a grain of salt, it was still wise to take _something_ from it rather than nothing at all.

 

Niall goes on his way now after dumping his load of Harry’s aching head, leaving Harry to stare off into the space of his lounge.

 

Looking at Liam with Sofia, he suddenly sees them in a better light.

 

One thing Harry could finally see better in her with Liam instead of Zayn as he watches her look at Liam with the attentive, fondness only a girl who genuinely loves a guy can as he’s talking animatedly with her and Tom.

 

It’s not because she’s classier than Zayn or richer than Zayn or an actual _girl_ unlike Zayn.

 

She wasn’t a siren.

 

Harry wouldn’t exactly call Zayn one back when he and Liam were still hanging out. He was really different back then. But he was just so _unreadable_ sometimes. He had this unsettling incognizant air to him in general but, _especially_ when it came to Liam’s feeling for him. There’s no way that he didn’t know so, the latter was that he just didn’t care. That was always him.

 

Zayn I-don’t-give-a-fuck-about-you-or-your-feelings Malik. Anyone who’s friends with someone like that were usually a little bit on that side of things too around here, why Zayn doesn’t have very many friends that don’t live in the underworld.

 

Although Harry thinks maybe he _does_ give a little bit of a shit after their confrontation a few weeks ago, he understands that Zayn has major depression as well that accounts for a lot of his behaviour. You still can’t really fault anyone for assuming that Zayn didn’t give a damn about Liam or anything else in life most of the time. Because actions spoke louder than words and his actions said that the aforementioned assumption was correct. Those actions made him a siren in this day and age.

 

His eyes gravitate towards Tom, looking back at his own siren in the same exact way as he sees Niall coming back over.

 

Harry frowns now as a seed of doubt plants in his mind about how relationships tend to go around here.

 

It’s always so complicated. They become either toxic or situation-ships, somehow always managing to make everything about sex where there was none. He begins to wonder if maybe Zayn has a smart way of going about things. Catching feelings just seems like a burden. But then, so does sex.

 

For good reason, he supposes. Harry has a huge problem with sex himself.

 

He tends to use it as a coping mechanism every time he goes out and he feels even worse after it’s over. But it never stops him from doing it over and over. Everyone always say the best way to get over someone was to get under someone else. Whether that was another body or under the influence. Harry can say with first hand knowledge that that was a goddamn lie.

 

There was this really neat quality to drugs and alcohol mixed with sex that went really well together for Harry. They gave him a temporary answer to a permanent problem - the problem being this void inside him he didn’t understand.

 

There was something _really_ depressing about waking up every morning and not knowing why he felt like shit as opposed to waking up with a hangover and a memorable night and feeling like shit. At least with one, he’s got a reason why he feels like shit.

 

The problem with that was it’s insatiable. He can’t just pop one pill and sleep with one girl. He has to go back when it wears off.

 

Although, he _has_ been questioning himself a lot lately ever since Kendall’s party. Especially after what Zayn told him. His problem wasn’t just hooking up with random girls. He’s slowly piecing together what he knows he doesn’t want and what his subconscious is telling him he wants.

 

He has a vague memory of hooking up with someone a month ago, someone he wasn’t at all attracted too yet, he somehow still had a boner. He remembered _why_ he had a boner and why he lost it. Whether that was because of Kendall, someone else entirely or both, he still hasn't figured out. The only confirmation he's had was Zayn telling he saw him with some guy and Harry hasn’t stopped thinking about it since. He's less shocked by it and more confused.

 

Mostly confused because it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal to him, even if he wasn’t piss drunk. He’s not concerned about sleeping with a guy. He’s more concerned that he’ll just have unprotected sex with _any_ random person he doesn’t even know, and that’s a _problem_.

 

He hasn’t told anyone about this. How many mindless hook-ups he’s had within the last 6 months when he’s either gotten wasted or tweaked out of his head, only to wake up with the same gaping void inside of him.

 

All he knows is that sex and jumping into more situations related to intimacy doesn’t help anything for him or anyone else. It doesn’t help Liam or Sofia. Or Niall and Tom. It damn sure does something to Zayn he doesn’t want to happen to him. Becoming _that_ dead inside.

 

It’s his go to for when he’s at his worst, and it fuels his own self-destructive nature like drinking gallons of gasoline near the flamed mess that is his life. Having to go get tested was his wake up call, even more than the possibility of actually dropping out of school.

 

A siren is the _last_ thing Harry needs. It’ll be just as toxic to him as the alcohol that brings out all the bad sides of him. Same with the partying.

 

He couldn’t possibly know if Louis was that kind of person or if he is just desperate enough to go that far for love and affection. To just sleep with _whoever_ offers him attention. Clearly, he has before.

 

As he goes back to breakfast again, Harry makes a private pact with himself to solve the problem he has in his yearning to become a better, more complete person who’s capable of being loved by cutting out all the toxins in his life. This has absolutely nothing to do with Kendall or anyone else and their alleged rumours anymore.

 

Cleaning up his mess starts with cleansing himself first.

 

He promises himself ward off his bad habits. Less drugs that he didn’t need. No smoking. No drinking and no partying. No thinking about Kendall. And most importantly, no sex. Cold turkey.

 

He’s going to focus on his studies. Hopefully, it’ll be starting with hearing that he has a tutor later. Not a siren.

 

He chooses to engage in healthy social activity like a normal person. He doesn’t need to get under anyone to get over someone else. Sexual healing was a myth. He wasn’t sure if his sex dream that night he had counted as a breach in his own pact.

 

As he makes his way back downstairs to rejoin his friends, he can feel the ticking inside him maintaining its usual rhythm, as if it’s counting down to how long this test ride lasts before he crashed.

 

It wasn’t a crash today though. The partner in tonight's dreamed rocked his world enough to have him waking up at 4 in the morning in cold sweats. Maybe he would go to one last party, if only to finish that dream.

 

*

**Louis pov**

 

**_Friday Night (11 hours before the party)_ **

 

Tom told Louis about this thing guys don’t talk about in Wellington. Not out in the open. Like it was the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Wellington instead of Eden. A certain type everyone knows they should avoid but can’t.

 

“They call them sirens.” Tom says.

 

Louis listened to every word. After Tom explains it all, he waits for Louis to respond instead of staring blankly.

 

“Well?” He snorts nervously. Louis blinks into a smile.

 

“Oh _I_ get it.” Louis says exaggeratedly, “A man-eating beautiful lady. What a clever concept.”

 

Tom nods slowly, a little put off with Louis’s sarcastic tone.

 

 _“Sort of….”_ he says carefully.

 

“It’s not always a girl. It’s just someone who can fuck you like you’ll never forget, even if they forget you.”

 

“Because they fuck like a guy.” Louis reiterates.

 

“Well… yes but, it’s not _exclusive_ to girls.”

 

“Okay so you’re saying they’re based on the _dangers_ of femininity.”

 

Tom nods hesitantly. Now that Louis puts it that way, it does sound kind of silly.

 

“And you think that’s me?”

 

“And I think that _might_ be you.” Tom nods again anyways.

 

Louis takes a minute to process this as he looks out the window, being sure to keep his face as blank as possible. Tom has no idea if he made a mistake in sharing this with Louis. He’s just as unreadable as _Zayn._

 

“Is that a good thing?” Louis asks absently.

 

“It’s supposedly a _danger_ thing…” Tom shrugs.

 

Louis looks at him now with a tilted smile.

 

“What makes me dangerous?”

 

“Your… mentality.”

 

“So this isn’t because you think I break hearts. This is simply because I’m sexually liberated and think in a world of men with mega egos and alpha complexes -- or a school of horny boys that always get what they want -- maybe it’s a good thing these _feminine beings_ are here to keep them in check, spit on their egos and remind them they’re not Gods and that women aren’t here to serve them… _I’m_ the danger?”

 

“Yeah, you’re dangerous.” Tom laughs, shaking his head. “That’s the thing about femininity. You don’t see the lurking danger.”

 

“And you think this _dangerous_ femininity of us ‘sirens’ makes us sociopaths?”

 

“No,” Tom laughs. “It’s not _literal._ ”

 

“But that’s why you didn’t want to ask me out, right?” Louis points out. “Because I’d eat you alive.”

 

Tom’s shoulders fall as a sigh erupts from his gut, closing his eyes in regret. He knew this would be insulting.

 

“No, that’s not entirely _why_ . I wasn’t intending to _insult you I just--”_

 

“Tom, you’re not insulting me.” Louis laughs now that he sees Tom’s face flushing.

 

Tom looks at him again.

 

“... I’m not?”

 

“No,” Louis snorts as he looks out the window again. “I’m just trying to make you understand the reality of what you’re actually saying.”

 

Tom stills at those words.

 

“This is _wildly fascinating_ if anything.” Louis shakes his head to himself. “Think group-think mentality in this school. It’s bloody amazing.”

 

“What’s so fascinating about it?” Tom leans back. “That we’re judgemental?”

 

“No. That you guys live in the fucking 1950s.” Louis says simply. “I’ve never seen something so _astoundingly_ misogynistic.”

 

Then to himself, he adds.

 

_“I’m beginning to understand Zayn.”_

 

Why he distances himself away from the dichotomies he can’t escape in the society he lives in. He understands _perfectly_ now.

 

Wellington is so black and white. Out there in the night, it’s an array of spectrums of every colour in the rainbow. Everyone walks around freely to the beat of their own drums. Even kissing another guy in the street earned Louis cheers and professions of acceptance. If he did that in Wellington, he’d clearly be crucified.

 

Tom quickly frowns, putting his hands up.

 

“Whoa, Louis,” He breaths gets winded as he laughs, as if Louis just punched him in the gut with that accusation.

 

“That is _not--”_

 

 _“No, no,_ it’s okay. I mean, you don’t _know.”_ Louis stops him quickly. “You don’t realise it and that’s not your fault.”

 

“How am I misogynistic? I _love_ women.”

 

“I _know_ you do.” Louis smiles at him now. “But, you grew up in a society that frankly hates the essence of femininity. Loads of things in western culture subliminally demonise women or even the idea of effeminate _men_ , without most people even being conscious of it. Even in the bible. The entire basis that comes down to a woman’s sexual awakening and independence from a man is painted as the sole reason for why humanity is innately sinful in the eyes of God. Because a woman tempted the man with her evil “fruit”. It’s amazing how well that weaves into the lives of even 16 year old schoolchildren.” Louis snorts.

 

Tom is frozen stiff as he blinks. It was probably the most unexpected thing he’s ever heard from someone this high. Because Louis is _really_ high. He always starts speaking french of slinging around big fancy words, as his true self takes over completely.

 

Tom realises he’s not talking to an uncultured foreigner. Not only does he live up to his French name but, he’s never heard something so thought provoking, making him realise this whole thing about the sirens probably _was_ some concept some asshole made up to condemn the sexually active girls in school. Louis continues on.

 

“I thinks it’s interesting that society made the term “feminine” to be something that’s considered dainty. Or delicate and soft as long as it’s not threatening a man. Then suddenly, it becomes dangerous when it’s asserted in its own independence outside of its seemingly… arbitrary role.”

 

Tom doesn’t even know what to say. Besides that Louis is… completely right.

 

“You do?”

 

“Mhmm.” Louis nods. “So much so that it’s even something that becomes _threatening_ to the ultra sensitive male ego when a girl has sex as a physical activity she enjoys for herself. Almost as if… there must be something _wrong_ with it if it's not in the hopes of keeping a man happy. Even more so that if another _man_ dares to dabble with the fluidity in their own femininity, they too are suddenly seen as someone threatening to some arbitrary force of empowerment and authority. I’m amazed we still think this way in the 21st century. Honestly, truly. But then again, not really.”

 

Tom shakes his head.

 

“And here I thought you were just a pretty face.”

 

Louis snorts as he looks over at Tom across from him.

 

“Tell me more.” Tom tilts his head. Louis’s eyes trail down Tom’s body as he notices something.

 

“Am I… making you hard?” Louis perches a very interested eyebrow.

 

“A little.” Tom shrugs and Louis bellows out in laughter.

 

“Throw a few ideas out to expose the patriarchy of your school and suddenly, you’re aroused huh?”

 

Tom nods.

 

“Go on.”

 

Louis laughs again, shaking his head and he puts his feet up against the middle now.

 

“Why are you afraid to have sex with me?” Louis asks _him_ now so this conversation isn’t one-sided and leaving Louis doing all the work.

 

 _“Le coït.”_ Louis’s French spills out. _Coitus._

 

_“Tu aimes ça? Tu ne t’interesses pas au sexe? Ou juste moi?”_

 

_Do you like it? You're not interested in sex or just me?_

 

“You know, you have a very sexy accent.” Tom snorts.

 

“You know, you _really_ don’t want to answer my question.”

 

“What do you think?” Tom asks him curiously, micking his posture as he puts his feet up too so the soles of their shoes push up against each other.

 

“You know, excluding the fact that you’re a whore and I’m not.” He adds

 

“Ohhh, so fuck you too then.” Louis pushed hard at his left foot in response with with narrow eyes, making Tom laugh.

 

_Niall._

 

That’s the answer. But Louis isn’t going to be the one to say it. Not this time.

 

“Where did you learn French? You’re almost fluent.” Tom asks now instead of waiting for Louis’s answer, as if he can tell he’s about to bring up his boyfriend, perfectly set with not answering Louis’s question at all as long as they don’t use the Irish n-word.

 

Louis tilts his head sideways, realising Tom still knows almost nothing about him or where he came from. Something about this pleases him deeply.

 

“Used to live there.” Louis answers his question, honest and polite, choosing to keep it vague.

 

He got the feeling that Tom knew way more about him than he let on though. Not in a stalker way but more in a way that made him not want to expose himself emotionally anymore than he already has, concentrating on that now that Tom has got him too high to filter everything properly.

 

Tom’s brows shoot up.

 

“Really?”

 

Louis shrugs.

 

“Among other places.” His eyes flutter dreamily and they smile at each other. Louis figures it’s his turn to ask now even though Tom doesn’t answer most.

 

“Why does sexual liberation intimidate men?” Louis says now, re-writing the question as his eyes go up.

 

“You don’t intimidate me.” Tom shakes his head and Louis looks down at him again with amused eyebrows.

 

“Oh so, we’re lying now? You seemed pretty intimidated the first day we met,”

 

Tom laughs as he kicks Louis now, denying it.

 

Louis goes on.

 

“Men have been threatened enough by the sexual liberation of femininity and homosexuality that it’s literally blamed for the damnation of _humanity--”_

 

“We’re not talking religiously, okay?” Tom rules out now. “The bible also says we’re an abomination and I for one think we’re hot as fuck _._ So you can save the indomitable ‘societal patriarchy’ reel. If I had a shot for every time you use the words ‘sex, femininity and homosapien’ I’d be on my way to the hospital right now.”

 

“Okay fair enough.” Louis nods in agreement. They _were_ hot as fuck. Society needed to get with the fucking program.

 

“But that doesn’t change its influence to the way we think to this day. If a girl or gay guy isn’t submitting to their dominant male counterpart, they’re still shunned and maybe even ostracised. Your school tells you avoid girls who fuck like guys. And that if I “think like a girl” then, there’s something wrong with me. We can’t be liberated without being called sluts and whores or even _sociopaths_ because, if we don’t fall in love with the first guy we fuck, we _must_ not have a conscience. While on the flip side, straight men are commended and maybe even _expected_ to fuck as many girls as they want with no consequence. That goes for you too. When is the last time you got laid and were actually satisfied?”

 

Tom’s eyes fall down then, picking up his fingers.

 

“So what do you suggest I do?”

 

Louis sits up and reaches across their legs to make Tom look up at him after he lifts Tom’s face back up from under his chin.

 

“I think if you weren’t so busy trying to make sure Niall’s ego was boosted, you’d feel a lot less insecure about not fitting into your own stereotype.”

 

Tom blinks as he swallows a lump in his throat when Louis sits back, never taking their eyes off each other.

 

“Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you have to have a certain quality about yourself. You don’t want anyone to know you hate bottoming because everyone thinks gay guys love it up the ass and that’s the character you play in front of everyone. The Andy Cohen act. So you try so hard to squeeze into a box you don’t even _want_ to be in, let alone fit, just to please someone else who has the privilege of having a box made special for him. Or at least, to _hide_ in.”

 

Tom doesn’t deny anything Louis said so, he goes on.

 

“The “blonde, straight cis-male, captain of the football team and lady’s man” gets all the perks of approval from society but, someone like me or you has to adjust so we don’t make everyone else uncomfortable? I’ve never been so disappointed in a millennial twilight-zone bunch of twats who live in the 50s. And quite frankly… disgusted. We’re allowed to be as liberated or conservative as we want. Just like everyone else. It’s not fair at all, especially not to yourself. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t care about what people think about me but, I’m not going to cater to someone else in spite of myself either. You’re not doing yourself any favours trying to hold onto something you’ve outgrown and possibly never even were.”

 

Tom looks like he’s on the brink of tearing up again.

 

“You think I should break up with him?” He asks as he holds his lips in. Louis shakes his head.

 

“ _Fuck Niall._ That’s what I think.” He shrugs. “If he can get laid with as many girls as he claims to want, then why can’t you treat yourself to what you want too? You’re 17 and in college. This isn’t the time to commit to someone that isn’t committed to you. You’re not married. Boys love situation-ships. What you and him have isn’t a relationship. He gets a free trial of your ass anytime he wants and gets treated like a loyal boyfriend without giving you anything you want in return. What the fuck is that? Do whatever the fuck you _want_.”

 

“Like you?”

 

Louis’s eyes dart sideways.

 

“Yeah.” He looks at tom again. “After all, the legend says the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. You can treat yourself to me all you want since that’s _obviously_ why I came to this school. You people need someone to take the massive stick out of your collective assholes.”

 

“Or shove it up?” Tom adds as he sits up.

 

“Not what I meant but, even better.”

 

“That’s hot.”

 

Louis laughs as he sits up then at the same time as they fall into each other in the middle finally.

 

He didn’t think he was going to be getting any sleep tonight.

 

*

 

**Liam pov**

 

**_Friday morning_ **

 

 

All Liam wanted was to enjoy and nice a civil breakfast with his friends today. A good start to the day would help ensure the rest of the weekend would be good too. He didn’t much believe in luck but, he somewhat believed things tended to have a domino effect.

 

Good start, good follow through, flawless finish.

 

So of course, Niall had to ruin it by showing up with Tom. Within the last few years, Liam just couldn’t get the fuck _away_ from this guy.

 

Sofia and Tom got along really well because all girls just _loved_ Tom so, when they were together, Liam tended to get annoyed with her too.

 

They’ve already begun the assault on him now that they all know what he came here for and what he was going to be doing later which he purposefully tried not to tell because Sofia and Tom LOVE making fun of him about Zayn.

 

  
"I heard he can make you come as many times as you want without even touching you. Do you think that's true?" Sofia pops a truffle into her mouth after she asks when Niall comes back downstairs.

 

Tom looks at Liam with a slight smirk across the table.

  
  
"How would _he_ know?"

 

_‘Actually, I do.’_

 

Liam doesn’t say that. Only festering in his gut churning as he fills his mouth instead of answering that while Sofia laughs as his smoldering, blank expression.

 

They can mock him all day long. The gag was _yeah_ Zayn could. And it was the most amazing thing you would ever feel. But Liam’s just going to keep his words to himself.

 

They were leaving as soon as Harry came back from upstairs.

 

The sooner Harry gets those tickets, the sooner Liam can get the hell away from Tom before he gets up and make him choke on his fucking latte.

 

“Who the hell are you talking about?” Niall snorts when he hops over the couch.

  
  
Tom looks back at Niall.

 

 _‘Zayn.’_ Tom mouths with a smile, moving his tongue back and forth under the roof of his mouth.

 

“Liam’s going to see someone _special_ today.” Sofia sings as she folds a napkin on the table.

 

Even hearing someone say that made Liam want to throw up with nerves. He glances down at his watch, then back up into space, slowly chewing through his food without swallowing, his expression blank but his thoughts garbage.

 

Just a few more hours.

 

“ _That_ should be hilarious.” Tom adds with a sigh, snorting as he shakes his head to himself.

 

“Someone should tape it. This is a historical day guys.”

 

Niall agrees, along with Sofia as they all laugh.

 

“What are you seeing him today for again?” Niall asks now, joining in on the teasing.

 

“Yearbook.” Sofia answers with sarcastic finger quotes.

 

 _‘Oh.’_ Niall mouths as he nods.

 

“You couldn’t mail them?”

 

“Then he’d have to write a letter. How sweet would that be?” Tom smiles.

 

 _“Si me besan eso labios, ay así quiero morir,”_ Sofia sighs theatrically and everyone bursts out laughing.

 

They were lyrics to a Spanish song

 

_If those lips kiss me, damn, I want to die like that._

 

Liam doesn’t even talk like that. Instead of letting it get under his skin, Liam smiles.

 

“Why don’t _you?”_ He asks towards Tom.

 

“Why don’t I what?”

 

“Film it.” Liam shrugs. “Take a picture. Whatever you need to make it worse. If me meeting with someone I’m already nervous about is really that entertaining that you think it’s funny to commemorate with photo evidence, I’d love if all of you tagged along and ruin everything since you guys clearly have nothing better to do.”

 

“Liam, we’re just joking. We love you.” Sofia rubs over his back but Tom shakes his head.

 

“Speak for yourself.” He counters.

 

“Not love. We’re just trying to make you realise reality. This isn’t about yearbook. You gave him that prize so you have a better excuse to be in his face more than you already are.” Tom says.

 

“Didn’t he tell you to fuck off? This is just an elaborate dance around stalking him, only you’re forcing him to comply. You’re asking for a restraining order.”

 

As if Tom can tell Liam _shit_ about stalking someone, especially if that someone is Zayn. He should know since that’s pretty much all he ever does.

  
“I didn’t _give_ anyone anything. This isn’t about me.” Liam’s mouth tightens as his vein pulses in his neck.

 

“Zayn’s been wanting yearbook cover for 4 years and they worked harder for it than anyone in this school. They won because they deserved to.”

  
  
“What exactly do the winners get?” Niall asks.

 

Liam glances down at his watch again, as Sofia answers. Miraculously, the 3 minutes haven’t jumped 3 hours.

  
  
“Aside from the tickets, £5.000 and an interview published in the school paper about why they chose their design and what it means to them. And a medal, I think. The competition counts as an extracurricular achievement award so, it looks good on uni applications for art students.”

 

She was right. Their school newsletter was read by all kinds of important people outside of school. Doniya wrote it and Zayn still never got an editorial before so, no one could say this was favouritism since his own twin never gave him any special treatment.

 

Zayn and Perrie’s interview in it was a major achievement they got on their own.

  
  
“Nepotism.” Tom adds for her.

Liam only laughs as Tom drops his gaze down to him again.

  
  
“You mean to tell me a painting of a beach to mock the school was better than Ella Mackintosh’s mural of the entire estate dedicated to everyone?”

  
“I don’t think anyone could hardly consider Wellington one big happy family. Ella has won yearbook every year for the last 4 years because her parents pay for all the art and technology programs. That doesn’t make her deserve it more than someone else.” Liam shakes his head at Tom.

 

The Mackintosh’s pretty much invented toffee and every other chocolate and sweets company in England. Their heiress could stand to lose _one_ competition this year.

 

“And I think _that's_ the definition of actual nepotism, which has been going on way longer than for what I've been in charge for. At least the artists are not only talented but also has whatever meaning to their painting you choose to see. Not a lie. Art is interpretation. You can’t honestly say anything else deserved to win.”

 

“Why do you keep saying they?” Sofia squints a little.

 

Liam bites on his lip a little before he fills his mouth instead of answering. Zayn hasn't used they/ze pronouns in two years but even still, Liam forgets that not many people even know that at all so, his habit of forgetting makes it sound strange. He can’t even explain that to Sofia. It’d be like re-writing the English language to her.

 

Tom breaks his thought.  
  
  
“Mate, we’re just showing you see how ridiculous you’re being. Any longer and we’ll be here staging your intervention next.” Tom says seriously.

 

“Just admit that none of this is about the yearbook. It’s about you and Zayn because everything is about him _._ When he tells you to fuck off again, don't come crying to any of us about it. You’d stress yourself out less if you let go of your own ancient emotional attachment. It’s unhealthy.”  
  
  
_“Oh for fuck sake._ ” Liam mutters to himself as he rolls his eyes. If they _really_ want to have this conversation, they can go.

 

_‘As if you know shit about a healthy relationship when you can’t even talk about your own honestly and you have the nerve to talk about me?’_

 

Liam almost says that but, he doesn’t. There’s a lot he’d love to say right now that he can’t.

 

 _‘I’m sorry all of you hate Z so much. But don’t bitch at me just because I_ **_don’t_ ** _. This interview thing wasn’t even my idea, it was Doniya’s because she’s editor in chief and in charge of the content of the actual newsletter. If I spent half as much time droning on and on in reverent joy about Zayn as you guys spent with all your unsolicited opinions that no one asked for, you’d be ready to kill me.’_

 

Liam doesn’t think he could say that without it turning into a huge fight.

 

 _‘Not that it’s any of your business but, Zayn needed space and time away from everything. Not just from me but from this entire beach because you are all a bunch of annoying assholes. Did I expect Zayn to stop talking to me completely? No. But there was a lot going on. Mentally draining stuff none of you know or will understand. Do you see me overdosing on pills or drinking until my liver falls out like Harry? No. Do I go around_ **_stalking_ ** _people like Tom? No! Am I fucking every girl I see to distract from the fact that I’m not straight like Niall? No, no and NO. I give Zayn space and focus on my own life because that’s what Zayn asked me to do so how the fuck is my behaviour unhealthy? If anyone has a problem here they need rehab, medical attention, and serious therapy for, it’s all of YOU. If someone isn’t mentally ready to, I’m not going to force them to explain themselves. We agreed on giving each other space so we’re not enabling each other when I’m GONE next year. If you want to gossip and talk shit, do it amongst yourselves. But don’t try to tell me about my relationship with Z when you don’t even know the half of what the hell you think you do.’_

 

That would’ve been the part where Liam got up, collected himself without another word and left for school…. if he had the temperament to say _any_ of that without blowing a gasket.

 

Roasting all his friends would be a real dick move. Even if they do it to him all the time, he doesn’t want to hurt them back nor does he need to tell his business to justify anything he does.

 

_“Liam.”_

 

His name echoes around his brain, chasing out a conversation that he doesn’t want to happen after he imagines it all in his head after staring off into space for a minute.

 

A nudge in his side breaks Liam out of staring down at his watch as he looks up at Sofia waiting for his answer.

 

“Sorry?” His brows raise and Sofia frowns.

 

“Didn’t you hear me?” She says. “I said, we’re not attacking you. It’s just unhealthy to revolve everything around one person like this.”

 

“We’re telling you to _get the fuck over it, love.”_

 

Liam blinks, looking back up at Tom, snuggled into Niall as Harry comes back downstairs with the tickets in his hands.

 

“Here you go.” Harry smiles as he hands them over, Liam’s growing regrets sealed in two envelopes.

 

“Are you guys ready to go?”

 

Liam turns them over in his hand, looking at their names written across in ink.

 

_Zayn and Perrie_

 

It’s now he begins to wonder if they’re right. Even if it wasn’t his idea to go see Zayn today, he didn’t exactly oppose it either.

 

“We’re… gonna be late.” Liam sighs, packing up now. It’s not too late to pull out.

 

“Which one of you is going with me to see Mikey?” Tom complains towards Harry and Niall as they start to pack up their bags to go as well.

 

“What’s the big deal to go alone?” Harry asks with a bagel dangling in his mouth while he’s bagging up the rest to eat later.

 

“I heard someone got stabbed in that hallway.” Sofia comments and Tom points towards her with a flat mouth.

 

“ _Exactly_ the point.”

 

“I’ll go with you.”

 

Everyone pauses when Liam says this, looking between the two of him and Tom with shock.

 

“What?” Liam laughs.

 

“What?” Tom blinks, in shock himself as he turns around.

 

“I said I’ll go.” Liam repeats with an easy shrug, like it’s nothing.

 

“You’ll go with _me_.” Tom clarifies that he’s talking about the right person.

 

“Sure. Why not?” Liam tosses the idea around in his head as he leans against the door, almost amused. He shrugs then as he clasps his hands together, dangling below his waist.

  
“I’ll go with you.”

 

Tom looks at Niall in front of Liam squinting at him like he’s about to ask him if Liam’s alright.

 

“Is that a problem?”

 

Tom almost snorts as he stands up.

 

“Umm…. no.” He says slowly. “Not… at all.”

 

Liam was definitely the only person here that could go in that hallway with a gold watch on knowing no one in their right mind would fuck with him.

 

“Okay.” Liam smiles.

 

“When? It has to be before school ends.” Tom reminds him as they’re all walking out the door, Sofia, Harry and Niall exchanging dubious glances between each other.

 

“Lunch.” Liam decides without a second thought.

 

“Why lunch?”

 

“Cause that’s when I’m seeing Zayn. I told you, I’m going there today.”

 

Zayn and Perrie’s second home was in that hall so, Liam was passing through anyways to see both of them.

 

Tom _and_ Liam that is. This really was a historical day.

 

Outside, Liam gets a text from Doniya as he’s walking with Harry to his car.

 

**_I told Z you were coming by with me during lunch. You won’t be throwing him off guard x_ **

 

As Liam reads her message, he begins to regret everything fully now.

 

Zayn knows he’s coming. This is no reason to start panicking but for some reason, before now it was just an idea. Now, it’s suddenly real.

 

This is actually _Doniya’s_ interview with Zayn and Perrie. She just suggested Liam be featured in it too to discuss why he chose their design as well. It’s not like his part in it is a huge deal. He didn’t even write the questions. She did.

 

 _‘To make it more insightful.’_ She said although, there’s no way she would’ve suggested it if Liam chose anyone else.

 

Doniya was a perfectionist, just like Zayn and this wasn’t a twin thing but more just an ode to how full throttle they both were about their passions. Doniya was an accomplished writer and future author of best selling think-pieces and novels. This paper was her baby and she’d be damned if she let someone else’s input ruin it.

 

It was obvious she just wanted to get Zayn and Liam in an intimate space and talk about intimate things because meddling sisters are meddling. Doniya and Perrie have always been trying to get Liam and Zayn together. This time, they succeeded. He wouldn’t be surprised if this was the actual goal all along.

 

Liam suddenly wants to abort.

 

It’s all so trivial yet, still weighing down on him like he’s on his way to go before a jury and plead his way out of the death penalty. No, this wasn’t about yearbook at all. This was about the fact that he hasn’t talked to Zayn for more than 5 minutes in over a year and he feels like he’s about to vomit bucket loads of his stomach onto the ground right now as an ocean of nerves overtake his body.

 

No one else in the world could make Liam this nervous. He wasn’t born with an unsure bone in his body that wasn’t Zayn’s.

 

It wasn’t that he was afraid Zayn would slam the door in his face. He’d _never_ do that. He was just so unpredictable. There was a thrill to the spontaneity in Zayn. He has a fun and wild spirit so, you never know what you’re going to get with him. That was fun in the moments he spent with him but, it just made Liam feel unprepared for everything now.

 

“Liam, are you alright?” Harry asks when Liam leans back against the car, leaning his hands on his knee as he paces his breathing.

 

He nods with his eyes closed even though he can almost feel his face going green.

 

“I’m good I just…” He gestures into the air vaguely. “Ate a little too fast.”

 

He waves Harry off as he shakes his limbs, hopping in the car now to wait for Sofia to stop talking to Tom in the other car.

 

He’s about to suggest she just ride with them when Doniya texts him again.

 

**_Don’t be nervous. He’s nervous too but, he’s in a really good mood today, which is unusual. I think I can guess why :)_ **

 

She’s only saying that to make Liam feel better. But, the little glow of warmth in his belly says it works.

 

Just the thought that Zayn was actually happy today makes him feel 1,000 times better in general. That’s all he’s ever wanted was for Zayn to be happy, whether it was with him or elsewhere.

 

His neck begins to burn on the drive to school. The closer he gets to the building, the more it burns as he thinks about the questions he’s going to be asking Zayn.

 

 _Personal_ questions. About his art. His passion. Why he used his voice the way he did and what inspired his drive for it. But Liam already knew the answers to all those questions.

 

It’s not a bad burning. It was a sensation he always felt when he thought about Zayn. This burn was something he’d always get when spending the night with him and it lingered in his memory forever. Nights when he felt like his whole body was lit on _fire_. He’d come home and have to rub his body down with ice some days. No kind of drug or stimulant would ever replicate this feeling, try as he might. Be he was addicted to it just the same.

 

Zayn’s hands always left a trail of flames wherever they touched Liam. Their lips pressed together. Liam’s legs spread apart until Zayn fit. But he was like an elastic band. Zayn could snap on you in a blink. One wrong word, a hand too close to a certain area. Anything could be one step too far and Zayn would turn all that passion into the cold snap of a block of ice. Those eyes that could burn through you could just as easily overlook you like a spec of the pavement. There was never an in between. It was either all or nothing. And Liam would give everything just to have it all again.

 

They won’t just talk about the art. It’s never been just art with Zayn, even when he sang. Even just a hum. Sometimes, when Zayn forgot anyone could hear him, even his most silent hums would blossom into a melody that streamed straight from the gates of heaven and he’d sing.

 

_La sirena._

 

Liam’s mother would call him whenever she heard Zayn in the house.

 

The siren.

 

Alluring beauty in his words, captivating song he walked to the beat of. Whenever Zayn sings, all those walls he had up that locked him inside fell away and he shines. Liam could listen to his song for the rest of his life.

 

This was too important to fuck up this weekend. Too important to make this interview dried and stale with stiff questions that have no real substance.

 

Zayn always told Liam sometimes he felt his soul bleeding over the keys of his piano and he’s see the chords in dark red like it was written in wine. No one else would ever understand that Zayn’s song wasn’t just a dream or career path. It was his heartbeat.

 

Liam sits in the lot for a moment while Sofia and Harry go inside the school, re-wording his questions with answers Zayn has already given him in the past.

 

When he gets inside the school, he makes haste to find Doniya as soon as he goes inside just to ask her if the questions were okay since he changed what she originally wrote a little before he went up to Zayn to confirm the time for interview on Monday. After school, in Zayn or Perrie’s bedroom. Most likely, Zayn’s since Doniya will be there too.

 

Doniya reads over the questions for a few minutes, no expression at all as they stand at Zayn’s locker. Zayn never came to school this early.

 

“Well?” Liam bites his lip, waiting for her to say something. “Is this okay?”

 

Doniya looks up at him with tears in her eyes.

 

“Liam… this is so beautiful.” She says honestly.

 

“Don’t bullshit me--”

 

“I’m not!” She’s exclaims, hitting him in his chest. “He’s going to _love_ it.”

 

Liam smiles bashfully as he looked down.

 

“Or burn it?” He snorts.

 

_“I’m going to burn what, darling?”_

 

Doniya and Liam both look up at the voice in front of them.

 

“Zayn--” Doniya cuts herself off when she hiccups.

 

Liam jumps, looking up at Zayn. He’s dressed in sweats and sipping on a cup of coffee in front of them, carrying his bag of records and truck keys. He looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks, dark circles under his eyes, lines in his forehead from frowning so much. But even still, he’s just as beautiful as always.

 

“I’ll _probably_ love it if it’s really that beautiful.” Zayn smiles sideways as he takes another sip.

 

The burning in Liam’s throat is hotter than ever. Too hot for him to say anything. He’s not sure if this feeling was heaven or hell. The worst thing about either was that they coexist so, it’s hard to tell them apart.

 

Maybe it’s just suburbia.

 

“You actually came--”

 

“Be pretty fuckin’ rude not to show up don’t ya think?” Zayn smiles at his sister, then looks at Liam as he swallows a thick gulp from his mug.

 

“Hi Liam.”

 

Liam’s hand comes up, the only part of him that isn’t frozen, looking at Zayn’s necklace, a 2k gold letter Z that Liam gave him 2 years ago before he looks up and breaks into a soft smile.

 

“Hi Ze.”

 

*

**Louis pov**

 

**_Laaaaaate Friday Night/Eaaaaarly Saturday Morning_ **

 

 

Later on when Louis’s at home, he gets his daily Perrie call, as usual. Even at 2 in the goddamn morning, he still had to fill her in or he’d never hear the end of it.

 

He’s shocked that Zayn is also on the line, 3-way.

 

There is very loud but muffled club [ music ](http://jaylanic.tumblr.com/post/165960007298/lord-have-mercy-from-another-room)on his end that indicates he’s at a party, which is making it hard to focus cause all Louis wants to do is dance along. Zayn’s place sounds lit as hell if he’s at home right now.

 

Perrie hasn’t acknowledged it so, neither has Louis even though Louis just watched him going into a building with very loud music not too long ago and he had quite a bit of questions.

 

He doesn’t bring attention to it to either of them. He’s learned what to and not to talk about here. What Zayn does in his free time is completely off the discussion board, even if it’s blatant, like right now.

 

Louis is very careful of what he tells happened this day.

 

He dishes _most_ of the gossip he’d got from Kendall and her friends but he leaves out everything about Tom since talking about giving someone a blowjob today is an irrelevant thing to this conversation.

 

He tells them majority of what happened at lunch instead, the incident at the mall and their scandalous burn book.

 

Of course, he leaves out seeing Zayn in the background of his day as well.

 

 _“What does it say about me?”_ Perrie stays stuck on being right about Kendall being evil as she demands for Louis to repeat what he read.

 

Instead of telling her they call her a dyke, Louis tells her she’s not in it.

 

 _“Those bitches.”_ Zayn giggles and Louis snorts.

 

Zayn sounds too bubbly to be sober.

 

_“Thank you for your support, captain cock.”_

 

Louis can tell she’s rolling her eyes.

 

_“You’re welcome, pussy magnet.”_

 

Louis covers his mouth as he tries not to wake anyone up with his laugh.

 

_“Lou Lou, you have to steal that book!”_

 

“I can’t spy on her anymore Perrie. It’s weird.” Louis admits as he’s lightning candles around his bathtub full of an oak and coconut scented bath bomb and lots of bubbles so he can relax this exhausting week out of his pores.

 

He already told them that he definitely wasn’t going to Leigh’s party since neither Perrie or Zayn were going and being there spending more time with Kendall and her posse sounded as appealing as barf.

 

“ _Really_ weird.” he shivers.

 

 _“Lewis,”_ Perrie cuts him off.

 

_“There are two kinds a demonic entities in Wellington. Those who feed on the souls of the innocent and those who watch them feed and don’t try to stop it. Those girls ruin LIVES. Kendall Jenner is a life ruiner. You have eyes and ears on the inside and you know all their little secrets. This can’t be a little secret. The truth about them will come out. If we published that book, everyone would see what a disease to the planet they really are!”_

 

Louis doesn’t say anything now, holding in his lips as he frowns at his rubber duckie.

 

 _‘What would you do?’_ He mentally asks it. It doesn’t reply.

 

 _“Can you be any more of a fuckin’ tinhat?”_ Zayn laughs, uber giddy on the line, telling her she sounds like a crazy person, which of course only sets Perrie off more.

 

Louis laughs at them always arguing like brother and sister. He frowns a little then, wondering how could anyone think of them as anything more than that to each other as he thinks about the horrible burn book again that ripped the purity out of their relationship.

 

Maybe he should steal and _destroy_ it to ensure nothing in it ever gets out.

 

 _“So… you like Harry?”_ Zayn asks Louis now, and Louis can just hear the smirk in his voice.

 

Of course that was pretty much the only thing Zayn heard. He sounds a bit distracted. There’s a shuffling on the line that Louis thinks is coming from Zayn’s end as if he’s pacing around. He also sounds a _tad_ bit out of breath.

 

“I don’t _like_ him. It’s just a crush.” Louis blushes as he runs his hands through the water.

 

_“Oh I get it. You just want to fuck him.”_

 

“Zayn!” Louis’s face burns even more. “Jesus Christ--”

 

 _“Oh you like him.”_ Perrie coos. _“It’s okay. Why didn’t you tell us? Zayn’s friends with him, he could talk to him for you!”_

 

_“We’re not friends. We’re co-presidents.”_

 

_“Whatever. You still know him really well.”_

 

“Guys, I don’t need anyone to talk to him for me.” Louis sighs. “And I don’t like him nor do I want to _fuck_ him. Or I shouldn’t anyways. He’s straight? Not even to mention Kendall’s ex. I’m not allowed to like him.”

 

 _“Harry is not straight.”_ Zayn tuts, which makes Louis’ gut flip.

 

“And you know because…?”

 

 _“No one is straight.”_ Is all Zayn says, then in the background, Louis hears another very low voice rasp.

 

 **“** **_Look at you, you’re so dirty._ ** **”** In a distinctively australian accent and the phone ruffles. Louis’ mouth falls open.

 

 _“What was that?”_ Perrie asks

 

 _“Nothing,”_ Zayn quickly replies, then lower **“** **_Are you trying to permanently bruise my neck_ ** **_?_ ** **”**

 

 _“Ze, do you have someone there with you?”_ Louis asks, biting on his lip as he smiled.

 

 _“Who is it? Aston? Luke?”_ Perrie starts naming off Aussies at their school.

 

Louis knows that guy is definitely _not_ from their school.

 

The ridiculous faint [ music ](http://welcome-to-the-neighbourhood.tumblr.com/post/163442180414/fromanotherroom-daddy-issues-playing-from-another)that captivates Louis’ whole body sounds in the background suddenly as it seems like a door opens in whatever room Zayn is in when the phone shuffles.

 

Zayn’s world sounds like the gates of _heaven_.

 

**_“Oi, stop fuckin’ the DJ-”_ **

 

**_“You could knock.”_ **

 

The sounds cuts off after Zayn says that as a door slams.

 

“If you were busy, you could’ve said something Zaynie.” Louis teases. He knows Zayn rolls his eyes at that.

 

 _“Look, I’ll see you guys later, yeah?”_ Zayn says, suddenly rushed as he’s moving around again.

 

“Alright, love. Don’t forget to pace yourself and stay hydrated”

 

_“Make sure you rim that Aussie well mate.”_

 

Perrie and Louis both laugh before the music emerges in _full_ for a few seconds. It’s the perfect song to make out to in the room of an ongoing party. That one that’s too slow to _really_ dance to and too sensual to not have another body pushed up against yours. It sets Louis’ heart up to dance as Perrie shouts for him to wait.

 

 _“Are you coming Monday?”_ She must be asking Zayn.

 

_“Coming where?”_

 

_“To the bloody interview! Preferably not DRUNK this time?”_

 

_“I wasn’t drunk, darling. I was buzzed. There’s a difference.”_

 

Louis isn’t even surprised Zayn would come to school drunk.

 

 _“I was nervous.”_ Zayn says now, his voice having shrunken a little.

 

_“Okay, whatever. But are you coming or not?”_

 

There’s an even pause that has even Louis waiting for his answer even though he has no idea what the hell they’re talking about.

 

_“I told him maybe.”_

 

_“And while you’re at it, take the fucking stick out of you arse. It’s not attractive.”_

 

_“Fuck off Perrie.”_

 

 _“Fuck you too.”_ Perrie retorts with a laugh.

 

 _“I love youuu babes,”_ She adds then and Louis echoes it back, as well as Zayn right before Zayn hangs up on both of them.

 

Louis snorts as he looks at his phone for a second, shaking his head to himself. He doesn’t think he’s ever taken to friends so quickly. He’s starting to think maybe being inserted into an undercover trio maybe isn’t so bad.

 

He caught the bridge of Zayn’s song, downloading it right after he looks up the lyrics. First Tame Impala and now the Neighbourhood. Zayn’s music is very diverse. He strips down out of all his clothes and gets into the bath with a new growing playlist he’s titled

 

[ _Z list_ . ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnLAa6_hB9A&list=PL28OPKIiMOMzUOIPVF4yYGJ9YvLV6_wiQ&index=1)

 

So, according to Zayn, Harry wasn’t straight.

 

It’s such a relaxing thought as he nods his head along to the music with a content smile, letting his naked leg dangle half way out of the tube.

 

It wasn’t concrete but, it still made Louis feel a little lighter inside because that meant he had a chance. But… there was still Kendall.

 

Would he daringly challenge the queen of Wellington? Hell yeah.

 

As if summoned by supernatural forces, Louis’ phone starts to ring again.

 

_It’s him._

 

“Hello?”

 

_“Hello? Louis? It’s uh… H-Harry--”_

 

“Harry?!?” Louis nearly shouts his name, immediately sitting up in the tub, splashing water on the marble floor.

 

He manages not to drop his phone in the water but his rubber duckie has a close call as it nearly plunges to the floor, surfing around Louis tub.

 

 _“--Styles, Harry Styles.”_ Harry corrects himself, clearing his throat while Louis wipes water off the floor and turns down the music, as if Louis won’t remember who the fuck he is by his voice.

 

“Yeah, I know…. um,” Louis is so flustered, he can already feel his heart beginning to weigh down, sporadic in its rhythm as he leans over the porcelain bowl, brushing his hand through his hair in astonishment.

 

_‘How does he have this number?’_

 

_“I know it’s kind of late but I got your number off Liam--”_

 

_Kind of late? It’s Saturday morning._

 

Louis can’t even hear his words. All he hears is his heart and his voice as he blinks at the wet floor.

 

He can see Harry’s lips against his phone as he’s talking, the monotone grit in his throat and the small gap shaped like a triangle at the bottom of his two front teeth that doesn’t go up to make a full gap as his tongue taps against it with every other word.

 

He had a dizzy sensation as he thinks about that tongue.

 

This is such a grotesque setting. Louis, naked and wet, on the phone with the guy who he thinks about borrowing his tongue for every night.

 

It’s like a late-night fantasy is coming to life.

 

 _“--and he said I’ll see you tomorrow? You’re going right?”_ Harry finishes with an out of context question as Louis zones back into the moment.

 

Louis closes his eyes and sinks back into the tub with a nod.

 

 _“Uh huh.”_ He agrees to seeing Harry at Leigh’s tomorrow.

 

His eyes open then as he pauses.

 

_‘Wait… did he just ask me out?’_

 

_“Great! God this is so great, seriously Louis you’re amazing.”_

 

Louis rubs up his stomach with bubbles as it’s bursting with butterflies.

 

Harry thinks he’s amazing.

 

“Grool.” He doesn’t know where the gross word comes from, shaking his head quickly as he backtracks.

 

“I mean-- shit, I meant to say cool and then started to say great--”

 

Now he sounds like a blubbering moron.

 

What were they even talking about again?

 

Harry laughs on the line for a moment, like he always does and Louis ends up laughing too.

 

_“Alright, well, grool.”_

 

Louis squeezes his eyes closed with a wide smile.

 

_“See you tomorrow?”_

 

 _“Totally.”_ Louis resists the urge to say he couldn’t wait to see him. He doesn’t have to. Harry says it.

 

_“Can’t wait to meet up.”_

 

_“Me too.”_

 

They hang up after saying goodnight and confirming that they’re seeing each other at Leigh’s and confirming Louis’ inevitable heart attack.

 

Louis was _definitely_ going.

 

Except for one problem: it’s a goddamn _pool party._

 

Louis looks down at his bare, tattooed chest, the words, _it is what it is_ inked over the large scar above his heart from where he took his halter off before jumping in.

 

 _“Oh no…”_ He sinks down below the surface of the water now, completely submerged as he tries to drown himself to get away from the haunting drama of everyone seeing his chest and thinking he’s the terminator. He’s gonna be going to a fucking pool party in a _bathing suit._

 

What was he gonna wear over his monitor? Even if he didn’t wear it, _everyone_ was gonna see his imperfect scar.

 

He had a lot of Moschino mesh tops but, that wasn’t swimwear. But, they exposed his nipples so it looks like he was gonna _make_ it swimwear.

 

Thankfully, he only got clothes more prêt à porter more than haute couture like Kendall so everything was custom fit. He thinks he can find something in his closet that won’t expose his entire body as a swimsuit.

 

But who cares about what he’s wearing… _Harry just sort of asked him out._

 

Not really but, that’s what Louis is gonna say when Zayn and Perrie asks him why he went.

 

He comes back up with a content smile. Late-night fantasy Harry no longer remains.

 

Well…. maybe tonight he still is.

 

Louis leans back with his eyes closed and opens his bent legs, imagining himself bathing with someone’s face between his thighs and lips around him as he slowly massages himself.

 

His phone rings again, twice behind him on the stool so he reaches back and answers absently.

 

_“Yeah?”_

 

 _“I know your secret.”_ Is the first thing she says, and Louis’ first thought is to panic as he stops touching himself.

 

What secret could Kendall possibly be referring too? He has a ridiculous amount just from today alone. Instead of admitting anything, Louis tries hard to play it cool

 

“Secret? What are you talking about?”

 

_“The girls told me that you like Harry Styles.”_

 

 _Shit_. Is she psychic?

 

 _“I mean, I don’t care, do whatever you want but let me just tell you something about Harry. All he cares about is school and soccer and his mother.”_ She goes on, bored.

 

Louis’ eyes wander around the room for a moment. At least she didn’t say he was a drug addict.

 

“Is that a bad thing?” He squints after thought.

 

_“But if you like him, whatever. But, he’s not gay, obviously.”_

 

Louis kind of wants to point out that he could still have a chance with Harry even if he wasn’t gay. That this great thing called bisexuality exists contrary to popular belief. That she doesn’t need to worry about his feelings being hurt because Zayn said he wasn’t straight and Louis had several reasons to believe that Zayn knew what the hell he was talking about no matter how much Kendall has sucked his dick.

 

“I’m not really looking to get into anything like that right now anyways.” He lies instead

 

 _“I get that. But wait, aren’t you so mad at them for telling me?”_ She asks

 

“Not really.” Louis snorts as he squeezes his rubber duckie.

 

_“If you are you can tell me. It was a pretty bitchy thing for them to do.”_

 

He tilts his head from side to side.

 

“Yeah, I guess it was pretty bitchy but, I’m not mad. I guess they just like attention.”

 

 _“See guys? I told you he wouldn’t be mad.”_ Kendall suddenly says

 

 _“I can’t believe you think we like attention.”_  Eleanor’s voice sounds on another line and Louis’ eyes bulge.

 

 _“Okay, love you! See you tomorrow at Leigh’s.”_ Kendall ends cheerily, and they hang up.

 

Louis stares at his phone for a good few seconds, blinking as he tries to understand what hell had just happened.

 

He felt both slightly attacked and relieved at the same time.

 

On one hand, it wasn’t that unnerving knowing they totally ratted him out. Not even unnerving that Kendall just tested him to see if he’d talk shit about her friends. Manipulative people here do not shock him anymore.

 

On another brilliantly beautiful hand, Kendall basically just gave Louis a free pass to Harry, and that seemed to outweigh anything negative that could possibly happen right now. He gets back into relaxing now but not even 30 seconds later, his fucking phone rings _again._

 

Louis is not this popular.

 

He answers without words as the person on the other line speaks before he even can.

 

_“So what, you don’t like me anymore?”_

 

Goosebumps spread up and down Louis’ arms when he hears the song of [ sirens ](https://jaylaisdreaming.tumblr.com/post/164087927862/acedious-princess-nokia-hands-up-from-another)in the background of this unreal voice, sensual merriment in his tone.

 

 _“... what?”_ Louis murmurs.

 

_“You think Harry’s better than me?”_

 

_“Who is this?”_

 

_“I’ve asked you two questions and you’ve answered neither.”_

 

Louis laughs, crossing his legs over each other in the water.

 

“How do you know he isn’t straight?”

 

 _“Hmmm,”_ He takes an exaggerated pause to think.

 

_“Fink I saw him checking out my dick print once or twice.”_

 

Louis bellows out in laughter, leaning back as his eyes squeeze shut while Zayn tells him he’s serious.

 

“That’s debatable.”

 

_“My dick isn’t debatable.”_

 

“Right, because everyone wants you, dare they not, be smited by God?”

 

_“I can’t help that I’ve got a universal sex appeal, babe.”_

 

Louis nods his head.

 

“I’d never fault you for that.”

 

 _“Now_ that’s _debatable.”_

 

And just like that, they fall into a casually flirty conversation about Harry, finishing what they started the first day they flirted with each other.

 

Zayn has never called Louis before. He hasn’t made a pass at him in 3 weeks and he sure as hell never talked about boys with Louis. But doing it now is as natural as the first time.

 

Zayn ends up telling Louis that in all seriousness, he doesn’t think Harry realises that he’s into guys.

 

It was something Zayn said he noticed a few years ago when Harry first got here. There was always a lot of sexual tension between them. Louis would say that Zayn’s universal sex appeal has to cancel everything out but, Zayn thinks it’s deeper than just him. He was certain that Harry has been questioning for years whether he consciously knows that or not.

 

Apparently, Zayn went through something similar himself with questioning so, he can see it in Harry very obviously. Why he feels so unsatisfied with himself and all his romantic conquests, all these unfulfilled needs not being met being one of the main reasons he and Kendall were dryer than Susan Boyle’s pussy and the reason why he’s so depressed.

 

“Jesus Z,” Louis chokes a little, forgetting how offensive Zayn is as his knees knock together.

 

Although he doesn’t say it blatantly, Louis gets the feeling that Zayn’s “questioning” might’ve been with his gender identity. He already figured out himself that Zayn is genderqueer based off everything he’s learned about him so far. Or at least, he used to be.

 

He asked Perrie about it before they got Zayn on three-way, about what she meant when she said that “he” used to be “ze”. She told him that Zayn wasn’t comfortable talking about it but no - he wasn’t transgender or a girl before in any way, shape of form.

 

He just didn’t always consider himself to be a boy. It wasn’t really a big deal when they were kids cause, like Louis already seen, it was pretty hard to tell if he was a boy anyways. It’d always been like that. Zayn was neither he or she. When someone asked, “What are you?” the answer was wonderful.

 

It was never something he questioned even when he got older. Not until Perrie left.

 

She had no idea why he changed as it he suddenly started making it clear that he was cisgender instead some time when she was gone.

 

Whatever that meant, Louis decided he won’t ask unless Zayn tells himself as he gets the feeling he will soon.

 

He believes Zayn’s thoughts about Harry are founded. Zayn knows Harry better than anyone in school.

 

Not everyone immediately knows from birth. It’s something some people have to figure out over time. Zayn tells Louis that Harry was the q in LGBTQ and that he and Louis would probably work fabulously together if they got to know each other.

 

It was probably the most insightful boy talk he’s had with anyone here and Louis thinks he likes talking to Zayn about this. Talking with someone who seemed to have it all actually figured out was really refreshing.

 

It’s way too early in the morning now and Louis’ warm bath has lost most of his bubbles.

 

_“You know, I could talk to him for you.”_

 

“You mean _flirt_ with him for me?” Louis counters with a yawn.

 

Zayn seems like the worse person to talk to _anyone_ for Louis. He already said part of the reason he knows Harry’s secret is because he fucks with him a lot with mind games.

 

_“I get the feeling you need a jump start.”_

 

“I don’t need you to talk to Harry. I talked to him today just fine on my own.”

 

 _“Really?”_ Zayn doesn’t sound convinced.

 

“Sure. He asked me what day it was.”

 

_“And what did you say?”_

 

Louis almost laughs.

 

“I said it was October 3rd.”

 

_“Well then, that’s not today then is it?”_

 

“I don’t want you to talk to him. You’ll probably say something ultra embarrassing.”

 

_“Do you believe I would actively sabotage your chances on purpose?”_

 

“Dunno. You’ve been playing this teasing game with me for almost a month and now that you think my infatuation is going elsewhere, you demand my attention again so you tell me _Malik_ , would you?”

 

Zayn laughs genuinely hard as the phone muffles his voice after Louis talks to Zayn like how Zayn talks to _everyone_.

 

 _“You gettin’ smart with me now_ **_Lewis_ ** _? Cause that ain’t gonna fly so I’m just gonna tell you what we’re not about to start right now,”_

 

Louis snorts with a grin. On Zayn’s end, there’s a thumping against a door in the background of the muffled music, asking where Zayn is, which is a great question.

 

“Where are you anyways?” Louis asks him now with another yawn.

 

_“Am I boring you? I’m dishing some pretty fire advice and you keep yawning in my ears.”_

 

“Well, it’s like almost 4 in the morning--”

 

_“Then why are you still up talkin’ to me then huh?”_

 

“I was taking a bath.” Louis ends up saying before he squints, realising Zayn totally just flipped this on Louis like he’s the one calling Zayn late at night.

 

“Dude, _you_ called _me.”_

 

_“You mean you’ve been naked this entire time?”_

 

Louis covers his sleepy face, laughing at how outraged he sounds.

 

_“Yes.”_

 

_“Naked and wet.”_

 

Zayn’s teasing tone dips low now and Louis sinks into his bath, looking down at his own naked body in the water.

 

 _“Uh huh…”_ Louis drips water down his thighs absently.

 

 _“Thinking about Harry while you’re nude and soaking up a wettie.”_ He tsks.

 

“Did you really call me to talk about another guy?”

 

 _“I called you to talk about_ **_you_ ** _.”_

 

Louis bites his lower lip back for a moment.

 

“Yeah, I’ve been… thinking about Harry.” He admits. Way more than he should.

 

_“... doin’ what?”_

 

Louis’ hand slides down his thigh now as he closes his eyes.

 

_“Fuckin’ you?”_

 

Louis doesn’t reply to his bold teasing, only a hum that neither confirms or denies as he wraps his hand around his boner.

 

_“Fucking you hard and pinning you down--”_

 

_“Zayn--”_

 

_“...are you touching yourself Louis?”_

 

Louis shakes his head no while his teeth scrape against the corner of his mouth when he upstrokes on his dick against his stomach with a sigh, watching the red head squeezed in his hand before he closes his eyes again and strokes up and down slowly, smiling as if Zayn can see his lie so his answer is still silence aside from the murmur of his bath water.

 

_“Stop touching yourself.”_

 

Louis opens his eyes as he stops.

 

“... you’re winding me up right now and you expect me not to touch myself?”

 

_“You don’t need to touch yourself. Just think about someone else doing it for you.”_

 

 _‘Is this boy real?’_ How can someone suggest something so clearly without saying the words? Zayn takes “Mum’s the word” to another dimension.

 

_“Like who?”_

 

_“Who would you like?”_

 

When did this become phone sex? Louis thinks his heart is about to stop from how hard it’s pounding as all the blood pumping it travels down.

 

 _“Louis, who do you want to touch you?”_ Zayn’s voice strings out things in Louis he’s never felt touched in him before. He wants to know how Zayn does that. Touches him with just his voice.

 

Louis could for sure finish with just this sexy low voice he puts on.

 

His fist balls up on the side of his leg as he keeps his eyes closed and thinks about too many things he’s hand on his brain that he can’t even dream to say out loud.

 

 _“Louis…?”_ Zayn sings his name this time.

 

 _“Both of you.”_ He breathes as his chest falls while Zayn continues to rile up his body with as little effort as just simply talking to him.

 

_“I wanna feel both of you.”_

 

From the inside, in the mouth, wherever. He’s got more the one hole.

 

_“Ever had a threesome?”_

 

Louis shakes his head no as he imagines two guys bathing with him.

 

_“Ever had one person to strip you naked… wash down your body from head to toe in the bathtub. Get another to pin you down and lick the wet stuff off you when we’re done…”_

 

 _“Zayn,”_ Louis almost drops the phone again. _“Please don’t make me soil this water--”_

 

Zayn keeps going anyways.

 

_“You’ll probably be all shaky and quivering when I’m done. Leave behind this filthy mess. I’d have to make sure all the taste is thoroughly sucked out of your mouth so we can both take you to 12 different positions, massaging you with some slicked up oil. The sounds of some slow, sensual music around you.”_

 

This is absolutely the most offensive thing that’s ever come out of Zayn’s mouth and Louis begs him to keep talking.

 

As if on cue, a new [ song ](http://jaylanic.tumblr.com/post/163743797603/baptsim-love-galore-playing-from-another-room)comes now behind Zayn’s voice, a bass drumming chords inside Louis’ body, touching invisible nerves.

 

It’s as sensual as Zayn’s voice, filling Louis with tantalising sensations that don’t feel safe, like Zayn’s taking control of his body as he takes him into his world. He can see flourescent lights of neon colours, turning down and strobing on the floor of a dark room, full of boys and girls moving their bodies together with the languid beat as the boundaries put up to oppose each other disappear and Zayn sitting on top of it all, guiding Louis through it.

 

_“You feel that?”_

 

Louis goes to touch himself again.

 

_“Don’t touch yourself.”_

 

 _“Fuck off.”_ Louis whines as he closes his fist and Zayn chuckles, the sound of his throat contracting pushing Louis over an edge… cause Zayn’s definitely getting off right now too.

 

Possibly, on someone. The fact that he’s on the phone while he’s with someone is too hot for Louis. Like a threesome on the phone.

 

 _“I’m with you… can you feel me?”_ Zayn breathes now, his own voice wavering.

 

Louis clenches his fist hard.

 

_“Yes.”_

 

_“... are you close?”_

 

Louis nods with his eyes closed, unable to let his voice come out fully as only his breath escapes.

 

 _“Good.”_ Zayn’s voice chirps, the sexy tone vanished as he’s all bright again as the music grows _loud_ over the line now, drowning out his voice completely.

 

_“Remember that the next time you see Harry.”_

 

“What?” Louis’ eyes open as he frowns, barely able to hear Zayn now.

 

 _“I gotta go. Night dude. Sweet wet dreams.”_ Zayn hangs up then and Louis could just reach through the phone and _choke_ him.

 

“What an _asshole.”_ Louis groans as he gets out of this, now _chilled_ tub.

 

He grumpily lets out the water and stomps to his room is a towel, aiming to go to bed and sleep off this aching that’s been teased out of him, aiming to have a half-assed wank and no real play because Zayn really does think it’s funny to fuck with people’s emotion.

 

He doesn’t sleep much that night. And he doesn’t touch himself either, still obeying Zayn’s voice. He can still hear him, his voice coming through the phone and his song coaxing Louis to come as he tosses and turns in bed, gripping the sheets and ignoring his boner begging for him to put it out of it’s misery.

 

He stops moving then, opening his eyes and staring up at his ceiling.

 

He doesn’t need to touch himself.

 

_‘Just think about someone else doing it for you.’_

 

Louis closes his tired eyes and lets his mind wander on it’s own.

 

In his mind, he feels for one smooth hand wrapped around him, the touch of something not distinguishably masculine but still arousing in it’s carnal need and desperation to simply be touched. Just a _touch_ while both his own hands stay whined in the soft sheets as he thinks of Zayn and someone else there with him.

 

_‘Can you feel me?’_

 

 _“Fuck,”_ Louis gasps as his tummy rolls, Zayn’s voice pulling at chords in Louis like he’s strumming an instrument. Stuff Louis could never reach even if he _did_ touch himself.

 

Maybe he’s just delirious and tired as it’s some time in the early morning when every trivial thing feels bigger than what it really is or maybe it’s because he hasn’t ate or slept today and the delirium is just amped up more than usual but… he feels like he really is being touched as he imagines it vividly.

 

_“Louis,”_

 

There’s someone in the room with him.

 

Louis’ hands feel stuck, like he’s in paralysis. He can’t tell if he’s asleep or awake. Maybe a mixture of both. His hands act as if they’re tied down to his bedpost. It’s too dark to see but he can feel someone standing there, watching him like they’re waiting for permission from Louis to give to lick his wet body down like a lollipop.

 

 _“Touch me,”_ Louis begs them, so they finally do.

 

He feels a hand on his, pinning him down more with a tight grip on his wrists that is sure to leave a mark. His lips are so _wet_ when they touch Louis’ bare chest, soaking right into his rapid heart that’s gradually slowing down as his weight sits on Louis.

 

Louis finds there’s more than one person now as another hand beside him pulls softly at his hair when his neck cranes back so more lips kiss along the side of his ear with a hand moving down his backside, Louis’ mouth stuck open and pouring out music.

 

It’s that funky [ song ](http://jaylanic.tumblr.com/post/163745064148/fromanotherroom-new-person-same-old-mistakes)again and Louis doesn’t think he’ll ever get it out of his head.

 

He’s never gonna get these boys out of his head until he feels them for real, not their distant voices on the phone or a short glimpse of them in school.

 

_“Can you feel me?”_

 

Louis opens his eyes when a hand slips down his bare thigh, gripping his hard-on and easing him into his long awaited orgasm that’s had the shit teased out of him today as his wrist flicks and twists around Louis. His eyes are looking down on Louis.

 

Brilliant, sea green eyes.

 

_“Harry,”_

 

He cuts Louis off with his lips over Louis’s and his own slicked up body presses into his like he just hopped out of the tub too. Bare skin on skin, _distances_ of endless skin. Thighs rubbing against inner thighs, wood on wood, until Harry’s goes lower and pushes inside Louis with one smooth motion that shoves a hard grunt out of them both, licking around in their mouths while keeping Louis’ arms pinned down again. The other pair of lips massage over his inner thighs.

 

He’s in heaven right now, moans straight out of hell echoing around him.

 

Louis keens when Harry’s hips pull back, pulling out so just the tip remains before he slowly dips his hips into Louis again. He can feel every inch on him and he fits so perfectly inside Louis, throbbing like a pulsing heartbeat pushing down the walls of Louis’ whole body, back and forth until the rhythm of them making love makes their own song.

 

Louis’ head falls back against his pillow while their lips in sync, sucking on each other’s tongue. He’s never tasted something so unreal.

 

 _Too_ unreal.

 

Their eyes meet again.

 

 _“Is this real?”_ Louis shakily asks, quivering and bordering on out of breath as his eyes tear up.

 

Before anyone can answer, Louis snaps awake to the sound of his new [ ringtone ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dK6Gvee-ri4)that infiltrated his dream, gasping for his breath and sweating through his soaked bed.

 

His room is dark and empty and he just came alone without touching himself even once.

 

 _“God,”_ He rubs through his sweaty hair, over his eyes as he takes a moment to breathe.

 

Sleep paralysis was a bitch. After feeling his pulse on his wrist, he feels for his heart to make sure it’s still beating alright.

 

It’s very slow, which his mother informed him is a good thing.

 

He’s never had such a vivid dream. His phone starts ringing again.

 

He snatches it off his nightstand, still delirious and slightly panicked as he answers it without checking the time or caller.

 

“Oya?”

 

There’s a snort and Louis knows he just slurred whatever he tried to say.

 

_“Sleeping?”_

 

Was is Zayn? Tom? _Harry?_

 

Their voices have all become the same person so he decides all of the above. He blinks at the window next to his bed. It’s still dark out.

 

“Dreaming.” He mumbles, shaking his head with a hand holding down his fringe sticking to his forehead, fraught with sweat. God, he made such a mess, that was a heavy shooter.

 

_‘Is it safe to cum like that?’_

 

He feels like he just had a legitimate 3 party train ran on him.

 

_“Come downstairs… I’m outside your house.”_

 

“What?” Louis squints as he looks at his bedroom door in alarm.

 

He begins wondering if he really was alone in here the entire time now and if the possibility of being watched as he had an orgasm in his sleep is hotter than the disturbing possibility of his house being broken into.

 

“What time is it?”

 

_“5. Dude hurry up and come outside. I just got off.”_

 

Louis hangs up without a word, rubbing his eyes for a moment before he lays back down, thinking, _how absurd._

 

It’s 5 in the fucking morning, he’s barely slept all week and he would like to _finish_ that dream. This was sleepy time. Ambiguous caller #857 of the night can fuck off.

 

Louis ends up tugging on a shirt that fits too tight with princesses on it he thinks might belong to his 13 year old little sister and some white silk short-pants with lace sewn in it he got from Victoria's Secret before trudging downstairs to the front door 5 minutes later, annoyed and grumpy at the endless fucking day.

 

When he opens the door, the scent of flowers and alcohol rush in and Louis is bombarded with a _very_ rowdy Zayn, pushing his way inside as he backs Louis into the wall.

 

 _“What the hell took you so long?”_ He rasps.

 

His hands come up under Louis’ bare thighs, smoothing up as he grips his behind through the sleek fabric of his underwear and lifts him up. It shocks the hell out of him as his heart jumps with his burgeoning eyes. He’s gripping Zayn’s shoulders as his back is practically slammed against the wall.

 

He keeps forgetting that Zayn is much stronger than he looks, lifted Louis up and put him on this high table with minimal effort, gripping his finger in the dimples of Louis’ lower back now with the nonexistent gentleness of a feral beast while Louis is clinging to his back like his life depends on it.

 

Zayn glares at Louis with wild eyes, full of something electric. They’re both _so_ sweaty and the smell of it should be gross but it just smells like alluring perfume on Zayn’s body, like he just sweats lust and sin.

 

There’s also alcohol emitting from him, thick like someone dumped a few bottles on his clothes.

 

He unzips his leather jacket, revealing a tight fitting black Valentino muscle t-shirt underneath and a flat stomach with ridges that suggests he works out. Given that Louis seen his bare stomach a few hours ago, he can confirm for himself that those ridges are indeed real.

 

His frizzy bun is littered with clear glitter and Louis has never seen him without his coloured contacts because tonight, his pupil is blown up to the very max, eating all the brown and leaving behind something that looks similar a wild animal.

 

“What are you _doing_ here? Are you drunk?” Louis pulls Zayn’s head back by his ears, darting between his dark eyes.

 

He takes that question back. Being drunk doesn’t do this to people’s eyes. _Drugs_ do.

 

He leans in and kisses Louis with a hungry tongue, hooking under his knees and pulling him in while Louis tightens his fingers in Zayn’s hair, gasping into each other’s mouths like they’ve _both_ gone crazed now. Louis rips off Zayn’s jacket and lets it fall on the ground like this is a dramatic love scene from a cheesy soap opera that turned out to be wildly sexy while Zayn takes off Louis’ t-shirt, pulling it over his head with his mouth stuck open before going back to sucking the taste out of his mouth, as he promised he would.

 

It doesn’t take very long for Louis to figure out that Zayn might not be drunk based off how coordinated he is and the lack of alcohol on his breath but he is _definitely_ on something.

 

It has his pupils dilated to epic proportions and his heart rate just as frantic as Louis’ right now _._

 

His hands move up under Louis’s thighs again as the weak table rocks when he pushes up against Louis. This table was definitely not designed for sex but Louis thinks he can work with what God has delivered him tonight.

 

He gasps louder than he means to when the brick in Zayn's pants presses into his guts.

 

_‘Yes please, more of that.’_

 

 _“Shit Z,”_ Louis’s head falls against Zayn’s, his brain starting to catch up to him that this isn’t a late night fantasy or an erotic dream.

 

This is really happening right now.

 

 _“You didn’t think I was gonna build you up and let you finish without me did you?”_ He says into Louis’ ear with his teeth scraping against his lobe, rocking the table more forcefully, leading Louis to believe there isn’t gonna be much left of the thing by the time they get off of it. Or by the time they both get off _on_ it. Zayn seems to really have a thing for breaking things off.

 

The sight of his fully erect dick print between them, rubbing against Louis sets off thunderstorm in his rib cage… which is _dangerous._ Louis can tell he will destroy his internal organs and his heart can’t take this much overactive pressure. He will literally have a heart attack.

 

He should tell him the have to take this easy for the sake of his heart but the words don’t want to come.

 

 _“Is this real?”_ Louis doesn’t know if he’s asking himself this or Zayn.

 

_“I’m definitely real.”_

 

Louis’s lips tremble slightly as he kisses Zayn.

 

_“You’re really… gonna…”_

 

_“Fuck the shit out of you?”_

 

Louis nods.

 

_“I was hoping so.”_

 

As Zayn’s hips move up so Louis’ legs wrap around his waist, Louis decides that talking right now is impossible and maybe he’s okay with taking this as it is and dying.

 

He lets go of Zayn’s hair and goes to grip his bulge but Zayn takes Louis’ wrist off before Louis can feel him in between them, holding his wrist up which confuses Louis. He looks up at Zayn as he pushing back on Louis’ chest with his other hand right over Louis’ heart beating wildly as he stops.

 

Zayn’s fingers expand over Louis’ heart slowly, eyebrows knitted in concern. He blinks a few times as his eyes flick from going between Louis’ face and the scar on his chest. He can clearly feel that his heart is pounding and skipping beats several times.

 

“Your… heart--”

 

 _“It’s fine.”_ Louis quickly dismisses it, kissing him again and writhing his wrist out of Zayn’s grip, bringing both Zayn’s hands down his back again so he grip both sides of Louis’ cheeks, sliding his fingers in between the crease that brings them together, pulling them apart.

 

To divert attention away from his heart freaking out, his hand slips through Zayn’s frizzy hair to take out his bun as they’re kissing so his long hair all falls down over both their faces, smiling against Zayn’s lips.

 

Zayn’s tongue smoothes over his slowly, massaging his over Louis’ and sucking lightly as he pulls off, peering down Louis’ chest through his hair while kneading Louis’ ass. His thumb slips under the hem of his underwear, sliding it across teasingly.

 

Louis snorts against him, tightening his legs around him and wrapping his arm over Zayn’s shoulder now to press into the kiss with his neck craning back as they both laugh.

 

 _“You have quite a plump behind.”_ Zayn murmurs against his lips as he grabs handfuls.

 

 _“So I’ve been told.”_ Louis murmurs against him. _“And you’ve quite a massive boner.”_

 

Zayn’s other hand comes back down underneath Louis’ leg, lifting it slightly so his dick comes out freely against his own.

 

_“Did Tom take a picture of me earlier?”_

 

It’s a really random thing.

 

Louis nods against him absently as Zayn’s nose moves across his cheek so his mouth comes up to Louis’ ear.

 

_“I think so--”_

 

 _“Can you delete them?”_ His voice dips again and touches inside Louis now as his fingers crawl down his panties slowly from the back.

 

Louis doesn’t know how the hell he does that with his voice, but he ends up nodding again anyways.

 

_“All of them.”_

 

 _“What…”_ Louis pulls back a little as it’s taken a moment for him to realise what Zayn saying that meant.

 

His eyes fleet down Zayn’s face, staying on his two long fingers sticking in his mouth as he slicks it up briefly.

 

“Did you just say…”

 

 _“Delete them.”_ Zayn finishes for him, his hand slipping all the way down Louis’ underwear finally with his words, sliding down in between the crease of his cheeks behind and teasing over the skin with his finger.

 

 _“Yeah?”_ He applies pressure and his fingers work their way inside and curl up to the sensitive bundle of nerves that makes Louis want to scream hallelujah as Zayn fingers him diligently, snapping back with his gasp like he’d just been touched by an ice cube down his pants.

 

Louis caves as his mind is already in a gutter and now it’s totally lost on registering anything that’s not Zayn.

 

 _“Okay,”_ Louis’ back immediately arches up again while Zayn holds his back so he won’t fall off the table.

 

_“You will?”_

 

_“Fuck yes.”_

 

He’d destroy that fucking camera for him if Zayn continued to touch him like this.

 

Louis isn’t really ashamed of the fact that his ass is already quite loose and he really doesn’t need that much working open.

 

 _“Yeah_ … you _definitely_ wear a plug.”

 

 _“Shut up.”_ Louis hits him in his chest as he breathes heavily with his head against the wall, which makes Zayn laugh against his neck.

 

After a few runs in and out, Zayn comes back around to Louis’ front, both hands on Louis’ waist to pull him closer, leaning back more comfortably so he has easier access now. He wastes no time to work on his dick, upstroking so the pink head pokes through the top of Louis’ silk underwear, moving his thumb over the top and smearing his already wet dick down more, still soaked from earlier.

 

“ _Why am I not surprised.”_ Zayn smirks with the slide of his hand as his lip is turned up, clearly referring to Louis’ choice of what’s probably women’s underwear, something Louis has a strangely unintentional habit of buying, be it perfume or clothes or undergarments.

 

He’s not even looking at Louis’ dick but focusing of Louis’ eyes rolling up and his agape mouth, his neck exposing more when he nods with his head tilting back against the wall for Zayn to kiss up.

 

His hand slides down then back up again, slow rubs finding a rhythm.

 

_“Wow, you’re really wet.”_

 

Louis breathes through a quiet hiccup.

 

He opens his eyes now with his lip bitten in while Zayn is slowly jerking him off, watching Zayn’s other hand reach behind to his back pocket before he brings a condom to his lips, biting it to hold between his teeth then going to unzip and reach into his pants and Louis sees his life flash before his eyes when he takes his dick out.

 

8.8 must be code for 10 and a half.

 

Surprisingly, Louis is shocked by the sight of another dick in front of him as if this hasn’t happened in a while despite a few hours ago. He doesn’t know why. He’s not usually this shaken. It might be because of the shock of his body waking up fully alert now.

 

“You okay?” Zayn laughs a little when he takes the condom out of his mouth, handing it to Louis with it in between his fingers as he flicks it out of his mouth.

 

Louis nods slowly as he takes it with shaking fingers, staring at Zayn’s beautiful dick like it’s a holy grail.

 

“Gonna put it on or stare at it?”

 

Louis doesn’t waste another moment then. He nods quickly with his eyes closed and rips it open with his teeth with too much eagerness he’ll feel embarrassed to remember tomorrow while Zayn laughs before sliding it down the ridge of his very manly, manhood.

 

His hand lingers around Zayn’s dick, massaging down the ridges just to get a feel for how heavy it is in his hand and the vein that’s making dirty faces at him. Louis loves this feeling. He loves this dick he’s… a mess.

 

Zayn does that thing guys do with their cheekbones when he inhales deeply, holding his lips in and Louis almost finishes right then and there. But he holds it. He wants to feel it inside him already.

 

He takes Louis under the knees after pulling down his pants for him, Louis aligning him accordingly before he wraps his arms around Zayn’s neck and buries his face in the crook of it as he prepares to be royally fucked against this table.

 

Zayn ruts in slowly as the grip on Louis’s thighs tightens. He’s not even halfway in when he stops suddenly after Louis lets out a light gasp.

 

 _“What?”_ Zayn doesn’t move any further.

 

Louis opens his eyes, blinking over Zayn’s shoulder.

 

 _“Huh?”_ His voice barely squeaks.

 

Zayn pulls back now to look Louis in the face.

 

_“What did you say?”_

 

Louis frowns, shaking his head as he looks down at Zayn’s chest.

 

_“I didn’t say anything.”_

 

_“I thought I heard--”_

 

_“Louis?”_

 

Louis’ body turns into a statue as his eyes bulge, looking at Zayn’s similar expression when they both hear the little voice coming from the stairwell.

 

Louis looks over a few feet away from them, pushing Zayn by the chest so he’s gets completely off so hard, he almost falls over his feet as Louis finds his twin sisters, two little blondes dressed in pink gowns, holding hands as they’re coming down the stairs, halfway down. Both of them rubbing are tired eyes with teddy bears hanging out of their hands.

 

Zayn turns away with a flushed out face as he pulls up his pants, rubbing behind his head while Louis hops off the table and snatches Zayn’s jacket off the floor to cover his junk as he’s sloppily pulling up his underwear before he stops his sisters from coming any closer.

 

He doesn’t know how long they’ve been standing there but he thanks the lord it’s dark.

 

 _“H-hey, what are you doing awake?”_ His voice wavers unsteadily as he tries to get his bearings, rubbing under his red nose and clearing his throat as he smiles through his sweat.

 

The twins have had trouble sleeping since they moved and he completely forgot about their habit of coming down here at random times of the night/morning.

 

_“We can’t sleep.”_

 

_“Louis, who’s that?”_

 

Louis makes Daisy stop pointing at Zayn as he turns them both away, back towards the top of the stairs as he looks back at Zayn, who’s covering his face with one hand, leaning against the front door and shaking his head to himself. Louis smiles a little when he sees that Zayn is actually laughing.

 

_“We’re going to go back to bed. Don’t you want to sleep all weekend?”_

 

They both nod as he gently nudges them back upstairs.

 

After getting Daisy and Phoebe back into their respective beds and staying until they’re both near sleep again, Louis stops in front of their disney mirror to look at the mess of himself.

 

He already looks like he’s been fucked. His hair’s a disaster and the flush on his face feels like a fresh spanking. He straightens himself out before he makes his way back downstairs again with sweats and a new t-shirt that fits properly, the assumption that the mood has probably been turned off for Zayn as well.

 

He rolls his eyes to the ceiling as he goes, ready to sucker-punch God in the face. The cockblocks are just raining down on him from heaven this year.

 

As he’s coming back down the stairs, he doesn’t see Zayn anywhere and for a split second, he thinks he’s left and his heart feels a little sunken at the thought that he’d leave without saying goodbye.

 

Just as he gets to the bottom, Zayn strolls back in from the living room. His bun is back in it’s usual place at the bottom of his neck, hands in his pockets as he’s looking around the house, then landing on Louis as he’s sitting down on the bottom step.

 

“Nice digs.” He nods.

 

Louis smiles and he lays his chin in his arm, watching Zayn coming over to join him on the steps, sitting down with a sigh as he spreads his legs apart, keeping his hands in his pockets and stares ahead.

 

For some reason, Louis can’t help noticing that he sits exactly like Liam.

 

Louis looks down his body with his lips tucked in before nudging his side with his knee.

 

“Why did you come here so late?”

 

Zayn smiles a little, looking over at Louis. His pupil look scary dilated, black eyes like a demon.

 

“Saw you earlier. Didn’t get a chance to say hi.”

 

Louis’ smile disappears now as his leg stops bouncing.

 

“...earlier?”

 

“Yeah.” Zayn nods.

 

“On a train.”

 

Louis closes his eyes.

 

_“Zayn--”_

 

Louis is cut off with a kiss that startles him. His lips respond before anything else. He falls back as he holds the side of Zayn’s face after Zayn dips his chin into him. He’s a really fantastic kisser. Somehow makes all your thoughts vanish.

 

 _“What are you on?”_ Louis murmurs between their lips. He needs to know what the hell is _fueling_ this boner.

 

Zayn’s eyes flit open then in a momentary pause, looking at Louis’ lips before he opens his mouth and lifts up his tongue, showing Louis a little white pill dissolving under it with the letter _E_ engraved on it.

 

It’s a tab of ecstasy. Louis’ heart instantly drops.

 

He didn’t know Zayn even took drugs.

 

He _can’t_ do ecstasy, not again. Its speeds up his heart and Louis just swallowed dissolved drops of it after already coming off fucking sophie. Zayn closes his mouth with a small smile at Louis’s expression.

 

 _“It’s okay. You didn’t swallow any.”_ He leans in again and Louis stops him with his hands over his chest.

 

 _“Wait,”_ He swallow thick as his bearings are coming back together now, shakily pushing back Zayn’s broad chest.

 

Zayn stops, the smile on his face still amused by Louis’ nervous retraction every time they start moving further. Louis decides to tell Zayn the only secret that he has.

 

“Before we do anything… you should know I have a condition.”

 

Zayn’s brows raise, waiting for Louis to go on as he’s blinking down at Zayn’s chest. His eyes flit up to Zayn’s face now.

 

“My… heart.”

 

Zayn’s brows come together again in confusion before they instantly clear as the smirk wipes off his face, carefully pulling off the surprise as he looks down between their bodies. He pulls off Louis then, letting go of him completely as he begins to pull his hand out of Louis’s pants

 

 _“Oh…”_ He chirps with a quirk of his brows, looking down, which completely confuses Louis. He didn’t mean that they have to _stop_. Just, take it easier.

 

“Is that… a problem…?” Louis asks him slowly as he feels Zayn pulling further away from him, not just physically but, his entire demeanor and suddenly… Louis thinks Zayn’s about to leave. But never come back this time.

 

“No, no. It’s not.” Zayn says quickly as he’s putting straightening out his hair.

 

“You’re… leaving?” Louis’ voice shrinks a little, fingering the glitter that’s rubbed off on his thighs. They haven’t even had sex and everything he was warned about is happening right before his eyes.

 

Zayn and his interest is checking out on Louis.

 

“No-- yeah, I mean,” Zayn shrugs a little as he smoothes his hair back, keeping his eyes everywhere but on Louis. But then again, the darting eyes were already a thing when he walked in due to his party popper.

 

“If you can’t do _casual,_ that’s totally fine. We don’t have to have sex--”

 

 _“What?!?”_ Louis’ face twists fro slightly hurt to utter bafflement.

 

“You think I’m--”

 

“Louis, seriously it’s _fine._ Contrary to popular belief, I don’t actually fuck all my friends. _”_ Zayn laughs now as he leans up against the stairs, looking up at Louis finally.

 

His eyes are all relaxed now, although his breath is still a little heavy and his pupils are still blown up. But his calming tone assures Louis that this really is fine and he’s not just saying that to get the hell out of here as fast as he can.

 

“We don’t have to have sex if you don’t do that kind of thing. I get it.”

 

“Z,” Louis laughs, holding his chest and shaking his head.

 

“I have absolutely nothing against getting busy with you… I’m kinda with you on the relationship shit. I’m not trying to get a boyfriend.” He almost laughs at the notion of Zayn thinking that _Louis_ would take this as them being more than friends.

 

“You’re… not.” Zayn’s face evens out now into a slight smile.

 

“No. I didn’t mean that my heart can’t take it because of my _feelings…_ I have an actual _heart condition.”_

 

Zayn frowns now as his head is sinking into his shoulders. His finger comes up and gently peels Louis’ hand off his chest.

 

“What kind of heart condition?”

 

Louis loops his pinky around Zayn’s finger, pulling his hand back down as he pulls him in again.

 

“I can’t do _super_ strenuous activities.”

 

Zayn doesn’t seem to take this as a deal breaker, actual concern on his face that Louis finds ridiculously sweet. He leans down and kisses Louis’s chest, his hand coming up under his shirt.

 

“That’s fine, Lou. I’m pretty gentle.”

 

Louis actually laughs heartily at that, shaking his head at this absolute lie.

 

“Yeah, you are SO gentle. I can just tell from the way you arrived at my house.”

 

Zayn snorts against his chest, coming up to find his mouth again.

 

_“I can be gentle.”_

 

“Thought you had stuff to do this weekend?” Louis asks as he looks up towards the ceiling with Zayn at his throat.

 

“This _is_ stuff to do this weekend.”

 

“I love the special delivery of dick I can get by simply announcing that I have a crush on someone that isn’t you.”

 

Zayn snorts as he looks at Louis again.

 

“Thought it’s be common courtesy to give you a fair comparison. You know, since I am the standard.”

 

“That’s some big… ego… you’re slinging around there. I’d even go so far as to say _cocky--”_

 

_“You make me sound straight with the amount of dick jokes I hear from you.”_

 

“That’s nice. Considering that someone called me a siren today--”

 

“No shit. What a compliment. I hope you sucked his dick after.”

 

Louis snickers into Zayn as he leans his head down against his chest to muffle his laughter.

 

“Yeah, I did actually.” He nods as his smiling eyes fall on Zayn’s, smiling down at Louis.

 

There’s an awkward pause of staring at each other that Zayn quickly becomes uncomfortable with as his eyes dart to the side.

 

“Um… do you have a room or are we gonna fuck on the steps for more little girls to gawk at?”

 

“Z…” Louis holds his neck when he goes to stand.

 

“Yeah?” Zayn’s brows come together as he swallows,

 

“I have another condition.”

 

 _“Oh God.”_ Zayn’s eyes roll up as he groans and Louis stops his load complaining, covering his mouth.

 

_“No, not like that. It’s not life-threatening.”_

 

Zayn pulls his hand off his mouth.

 

_“Another debatable thing.”_

 

“Come with me today.”

 

“That’s kind of the idea Lou--”

 

“To the party.” Louis bites his lip in.

 

He was really dreading showing up alone. This was a rare feeling but, today has really rattled him. Even though Tom and Kendall and the girls were going to be there, along with Harry too, it still felt like he’s die if Zayn wasn’t there too.

 

“Hmmm…” Zayn perches his lips up as he contemplates this.

 

 _“No.”_ He cheeses flatly.

 

“Oh come on.” Louis whines as his hands fall between his legs. _“Please,_ I will never ask you to do anything for me ever again.”

 

“Louis, I can’t--”

 

“Why not?”

 

“You want us to cum together at a pool party? Sounds too scandalous for my taste.”

 

“I mean, I’m down with that too…”

 

Zayn’s head falls as he flashes a white smile at the steps briefly before he looks Louis in the eye, leaning down with his arms on the stairs.

 

“ _I don’t swim.”_

 

_“I’m not either.”_

 

_“Then why are you going?”_

 

“Because I told Harry _and_ Liam I’d be there.”

 

Louis’s final attempt at begging just told him exactly why Zayn wasn’t going.

 

Liam was going to be there.

 

But, his addition to Harry seems to sway Zayn a little. But it’s not enough.

 

“Louis, seriously. I can’t go. I would but I actually am doing stuff this weekend?”

 

 _“What kind of stuff?”_ Louis leans back down as he wraps his legs around Zayn’s waist, pulling him down into him as his hand smoothes down his stomach slowly, making Zayn suck in a breath and let out a sigh as he closes his eyes.

 

Louis gets him back on top of him again.

 

 _“What do you have to do this weekend that isn’t me?”_ His tongue flicks over Zayn’s bottom lip, pecking him lightly with a smile at his rock in Louis’s hands showing great interest in this as Louis massages a groan out of him. Zayn wraps his fingers around Louis’s wrist and pulls his hand back off, pinning it down to the step at his hand as he glares over him.

 

_“You’re pretty persuasive… I’m supposed to be the succubus here--”_

 

“And tomorrow,” Louis’s other hand takes Zayn’s grip on his waist down to his dick.

 

_“I’ll be very… wet. You want that to go to waste?”_

 

Zayn’s neck vein pulses as he gives Liam a really tight smile, squinting at him for a few seconds as Louis flutters innocent eyelashes at him.

 

“Alright,” Zay caves. “If I come--”

 

 _“When…. you come,”_ Louis corrects.

 

“--Pez has to come too. I can’t go without her.”

 

Louis’s smile falls now. That would mean… no hanky panky. Zayn’s not allowed to touch Louis around Perrie.

 

“Why?”

 

Zayn’s face straightens out, completely serious all of the sudden.

 

“Because we don’t go anywhere in Wellington without each other. _Ever.”_

 

Louis takes it, taking his hand out of Zayn’s pants and sticking it out for him to shake.

 

“Sweet. Deal.”

 

Zayn shakes his hand with a sorry laugh, gripping it harder than necessary.

 

“Good luck getting her to step foot into a soiree on this side of town, Louis.”

 

He helps Louis stand up then.

 

“Well, like you said, I’m very persuasive.”

 

Zayn’s hand digs in between his legs once he’s standing so Louis gasps into his mouth.

 

“And still _remarkably hard.”_

 

_“Well you know, 16 year old boys are pretty much good to go 24/7.”_

 

“You’re 16?” Zayn’s face goes unreadable.

 

“I’ll be 17 soon.” Louis shrugs. He’s aware that he doesn’t act his age.

 

“....How soon?”

 

Louis mimics Zayn’s careful expression.

 

“After Halloween soon…” He says slowly, then adds, “Is that a problem?”

 

He’s not sure if this is going the good or bad way. He knows Zayn is 18 so, he’s not sure where this reaction is coming from now.

 

Zayn ends up not answering, picking Louis up again, getting his legs up around his waist and Louis’s arms around his neck as he climbed the stairs with their lips attached.

 

“ _You gonna carry me all the way to my room?”_ Zayn nods.

 

_“... fuck me in my room?”_

 

_“Slutting you out against your headboard in your room is what I’m gonna do.”_

 

_“Don’t have one.”_

 

Zayn shrugs.

 

“The wall will suffice.”

 

Louis didn’t laugh this time. His tongue too tied up before he’s practically thrown in bed and attacked immediately after.

 

Maybe he didn’t get much of any sleep this week. But it was worth it to end with this bang. Today was already gonna be a great party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who did it better? Zouis or TomxLouis? 
> 
> Now that Zayn has taken it upon himself to *insert* his importance into Louis's life, we'll finally be seeing him a lot more.
> 
> Next stop: the pool party. This party... is a game changer. It will be called "Free the Nipple" - the theme of the whole party is alcoholism and the arbitrary rules of the gender binary surrounding nipples. A.K.A. The slut rule in Mean girls. It will have Zayn and Perrie's storylines coming in from their perspective now and an iconic betrayal that is my fav scene in Mean Girls. 
> 
> No drug use will be at this party. Just drinks. There's a slight difference in the student body being high at the last party vs. the student body being drunk at this one. It's in three parts from multiple perspectives, the 3 MAIN points of view in this order: Louis, Zayn & Liam (including some flashbacks to this day again a.k.a what Liam and Zayn talked about in the hall/what Tom REALLY took pictures of there). 
> 
> 1 of these POV's at the party will be from someone that is highly intoxicated since drama tends to follow them whenever they come out of hiding. Then after all that, we'll begin to go back in time! :D


	10. ix. Free the Nipples!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis has mixed feelings about losing his virginity at the pool party as he visits the Island of Lesbos with Zayn. Zayn is confronted with his past while Harry is investigating some confusion.

 

 

 

***Louis pov***

 

**_Saturday, a few hours before the party_ **

 

The morning after having great sex all night long can usually go 1 or 2 different ways: you either do the limp of shame out of your sex haze and back home as the memory of it makes you wonder who raised you to be such a freak OR, (if you can still feel your legs) you gear for round _two_.

 

Louis didn’t wake up to either.

 

1, he was already in his own bedroom and he could not feel his body. And 2, he was alone when he looked next to him.

 

The spot being so cold tells him he’s been alone for a while. The clock says it’s noon and his phone says Zayn didn’t leave a message or anything behind but the memory if what he feels like inside Louis from every conceivable position he could get his body into.

 

Maybe he should’ve expected that but, Louis couldn’t help being a little hopeful that maybe Zayn would treat him different than everyone else even though there was absolutely no reason to think he would. Some irrational emotional attachments just had minds of their own.

 

Maybe he wouldn’t be overthinking it if the memory of going to sleep with Zayn still inside of him wasn’t so fresh on his mind. The detachment of him not being here anymore is burning him pretty badly right now, feeling jilted the morning after being bulldozed and rolled over in 12 different positions last night.

 

Instead of moping about his own bad choices, Louis decides to focus on more important things to start this very important day with as he calls his good friend Perrie, already knowing exactly how he’s going to get her to this party with or without Zayn. With a credit card and his undivided attention, he could convince a girl to do anything for him.

 

In the middle of his call, something strange happens. The gates to heaven start opening inside of his house and it puts everything on pause.

 

 _“Hello? Louis are you still there?”_ Perrie’s voice fades as the phone falls from his ear.

 

It was a song. A _beautiful_ song that he’d never heard before, echoing through the halls on the other side of his bedroom door. He’d be missing his ticket to paradise if he didn’t get up and investigate immediately. There was no music alongside it. Just a _voice_ coming from someone in the house, singing their heart out like they were calling to a Goddess.

 

_“Nᴼᴡ  ᴛʜᴀᴛ  I’ᴍ ᴼɴ,  thᴱᴱ ,  ᴇᴅɢᴱᴱᴱₑₑₑᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉ,”_

 

“Pez, I’m gonna call you back in like 10 minute okay?” He hangs up before she can say anything to him as Louis immediately sits up in bed as goosebumps rise down his spine with a warm spread to his belly as he listens to the hall.

 

_“I ᴄᴬᴺ'ᵀ ,  ғᴵᴺᴰ ,   ᴍʸ  ᴡᴬᴬᴬₐₐₐʸ,   ɪᴛ'ˢɪɴˢᶦᵈᵉᴏғ  ᴍyʸʸʸʸ ,  ᴍɪɴᴅ ᴏғ ᴍɪɴᴇ,”_

 

 _“... whoa…”_ He holds his heart, which is beating much faster than it should be this early in the day. But that voice taking a hold of him doesn’t allow it to slow down.

 

 _‘Is that who I_ **_think_ ** _it is… ?’_

 

His heart and dick only throb at the same time like this for one person’s voice.

 

The chills pull Louis out of bed as his journeys to the ethereal siren that’s hanging out in his house, swinging his door open so his song fills his room with harmonic echoes.

 

He’s not singing for anyone to listen, it seems. Some of it’s just a few hums. Some of the hums and mumbles turn into words. Some string out as a full sentence or two, all sequenced together to make an erotic melody. Maybe he’s in the shower or just mulling around the house curiously, Louis can’t exactly tell where he is.

 

It reverberates through the hall with a chorus of 3 people singing inside him as it flies like wings carry his voice, making it hard to find as Louis wanders his own house he’s found himself lost in trying to find where it’s coming from.

 

It moves through the air as elusively as a river flows down a bank. One moment, it’s right in front of him. Then the next, it’s behind him. It seems to be everywhere in the house until he realises he’s just caging it in his body so it continues to echo in his head.

 

He locks on a direction and follows the trail of voices until he rounds a corner and finds 3 of his little sisters crowding around the bathroom door with their ears pressed to it, 15-year-old Fizzy in the middle of the restless twins on either side of her, staring at each other with wide eyes as they listen in awe.

 

The source is just on the other side of the door. Being this close takes Louis to a whole other world. Something _magical_ was on the other side of that door.

 

“Ho… ly… _shit_ , Z… ” He murmurs like he’s in a trance as he steps in between them and closes his eyes to listen as well.

 

If fucking Zayn raw was an out of body experience, listening to him sing gripped his soul back down to Earth just so he could feel the impact of his raw vocals shock him to his core just as hard as he did last night.

 

The place his song takes Louis feels like somewhere not here on Earth that doesn’t really exist anywhere but in his mind. Zayn’s mind.

 

This place in Zayn’s from sounds like the inside of a deep well in mythical forest. Or someone wandering through a cathedral where to angels resided.

 

_“Oᴘᴇɴ ᴜᴘ ᴀɴᴅ sᴇᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ's ɪɴˢᶦᵈᵉ ᴏғ ᴍʏʸʸʸ ᴍ-ᴍᴵᴺᴰ , ᴍ-Mɪɪɪᴵᵢᴵɴdd,   Oᴘᴇɴ ᴜᴘ ᴀɴᴅ sᴇᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ's ɪNsɪᴅᴇ ᴏғ ᴍʏʸʸʸ…. ᴍʏ MɪɪɪNɴDᴅDᴅᴅᴰᴰᴰᴰᴰᴰ,”_

 

The last note dragging out is so orgasmic, he almost feels like he did last night right before he came for the 3rd time.

 

His voice is sex and it’s pure art.

 

 _“Louis, who is that boy?”_ Daisy asks him from below and Louis shushes her, covering her mouth as he glances up at the ceiling to make sure his parents aren’t moving around up there.

 

He doesn’t know if they’re home right now but if they are, he needs to get Zayn out of here as soon as possible.

 

He could kill Zayn right now for making so much goddamn noise after Louis told him if he’s caught with a boy in his room he’s dead. If he’s caught with one _showering_ here after spending the night with him… boarding school in some obscure Nordic country is screaming his name.

 

He’ll let it slide just this once, if only to let him finish his song.

 

“There isn’t a boy in there, okay? He doesn’t exist.”

 

He convinces them to lie if they’re confronted about it today. He taught them the concept of lying perfectly since they were toddlers.

 

If it was to their own benefit, they’d lie about a murder if he asked them to.

 

Fizzy starts punching him in the shoulder when she connects the dots, seeing Louis in his underwear and handprints around his bare skin.

 

 _“Are we really having this again? Did you not learn from the last time you snuck a stranger into our home and got all of our furniture nicked!”_ She hisses at him sharply, hammering away with her tiny fists that barely feel like anything until he shoves her away.

 

“Fuck off! He isn’t a theft. He’s an angel.”

 

 _“Sure sounds like one.”_ She can’t even argue with that.

 

He moves them all out of the way so he can have more room to dissolve in the fountain inside of Zayn that surely holds the key to eternal life in paradise.

 

He was down to join Zayn in the shower right now if only he can bathe in that _voice._

 

[ _[Zayn in the shower]_ ](http://jaylanic.tumblr.com/post/169285722033/what-zayn-probably-sounds-like-in-the-shower)

 

They all hear the water in the background hiss into silence although Zayn keeps singing all while Louis quietly barks for all of the girls to get lost, threatening to never watch my little pony with them or chaperone a trip to the mall on the bus ever again if they didn’t vanish within the next 3 seconds.

 

The door opens after the girls run off and hot steam coupled with the smell of fresh flowers rushes out to stick to Louis’ skin. That’s how Zayn always smells. Exfoliated and fresh as daisies.

 

When Zayn emerges out of it in nothing but a towel, he’s startled by Louis standing there with his jaw on the floor.

 

He stops in surprise, then calms as he gives him a polite smile, brushing through his wet hair with his fingers as he’s gripping his towel.

 

“Didn’t wanna join me, babe?” His brows give a suggestive little quirk as he leans against the threshold.

 

It’s official. Louis does not believe this person is human.

 

His hair, his skin, his _voice_. None of it belongs to a mortal being. Looking at him standing there, dripping wet with Louis’ marks all over his chest and neck like he’s lashed a sacred, otherworldly creature after hearing him sing just told him that he’s operating with someone on a whole other plane of being.

 

He thought he’d wake up wanting to scream to the world about sleeping with him but, last night has flown out the window as an irrelevant background detail even if he’ll still be feeling it for a while.

 

He needs to know if Zayn knows that he is an angel.

 

He doesn’t even try. It kills Louis how effortless his every action screams that he doesn’t even try as he stands there watching Louis with an easy shrug.

 

Every little thing about him, and it’s not even just a physical attraction anymore.

 

The way he sang in the shower when he had absolutely no intention or care of anyone hearing it… Louis’ in love with his whole existence.

 

“You’ve got amazing acoustics in there, Louis. You should consider installing a studio.”

 

“Are you real?” Louis asks dumbly as all his words suddenly fail. “Are you even _human?”_

 

Zayn laughs, walking around him and Louis follows like a puppy.

 

“According to the general public, no. How many times are you going to ask me that?” He makes his way back to Louis’ room.

 

“Hope you don’t mind me using your shower, by the way. I asked one of your little sissies, the blondie with the cute glasses, where the toilet was and she gave me all this bath gear like I was stayin’ in a hotel.” He snorted as he shook his head. “I just accepted it, seemed almost rude not to--”

 

“ZAYN!” Louis cuts him off as he stands in front of him, blocking his room door.

 

“What the hell was that in there?!?”

 

Zayn blinks at Louis, his eyes wide and slightly alarmed.

 

“What…?”

 

“You can… _sing!_ Really fantastically!”

 

He doesn’t know why he says this like it’s even anything someone could _question_.  

 

Zayn’s face settled back into his perpetually casual half-smirk.

 

“What else is a siren supposed to do?” He asks, like that should’ve been so obvious as he walks into Louis’ room.

 

“Fuck guys and steal their souls?” Louis answers, which makes Zayn laugh.

 

“Well yeah obviously that too but our sexuality is only half of our identity. We also sing. Most of us only do it in the underworld.”

 

Is that how Zayn actually identifies? It hit Louis then what a siren really was in mythology.

 

Man-eating slut… and a beautiful _singer._

 

In their language, that meant the singers in Wellington that maybe doubled as whores all hang out in the art wing of the school.

 

So they are real.

 

Once inside Louis’ room, he drops his towel so he’s completely naked as he continues talking like this is so normal, even bending over to pick up his clothes off Louis’ night stand.

 

“Oh, w-wow!” Louis blurts when his heart jumps, biting his knuckle before whipping around to shut the door behind him and staying turned away with his eyes closed after a hand clamped over his face, burning red all over.

 

He really wants to get Louis killed.

 

He hadn’t seen Zayn naked last night. It was too dark and he was really high but here he is now, in the flesh loud and proud. Watching him undress got Louis hard almost immediately.

 

Naked boys are all the rage in Louis’ universe. In the back of their cars, in dance clubs, over a bar, wherever they want to be at he’s down for supporting it all. Just not baring butts under the roof of parental controlled houses. If he was sober, last night wouldn’t have happened.

 

He doesn’t know if either of his parents are home right now. They’re usually off at work this time of day but it’s the weekend. This has been cutting it way too close knowing they could walk in at any given moment since Louis doesn’t have a lock on his door. If he was gonna have boys coming in and out of his room and singing operas throughout the house, there needed to be planning and schedules for when it happened first. Like when no one was home, which would be never.

 

“You know you could’ve _warned_ me.” He flushes as he waits for Zayn to get dressed.

 

“Not just about the… singing. Everything!”

 

He turns to the side slightly and takes a peek between his fingers, biting his lip in as he watches every curve alone Zayn’s smooth back move with him pulling his shirt over his head.

 

 _“Sweet baby Jesus,”_ Louis rolls his eyes back forward, shaking his head against the door.

 

Zayn looks in Louis’ mirror where he’s grooming his hair back into a tiny bun as tight as he can get it, smirking at him from behind.

 

His morning routine is so simple. Shower, shirt, skinny jeans and the rest just takes care of itself.

 

Louis takes his hand off when he finally turns around after Zayn announces that he’s decent.

 

“Are there any more surprises with you I should know about before you give me more heart palpitations?” He grumbles as he marches over to his wardrobe to get dressed himself, a little annoyed at how easily Zayn does it whereas he has to go through 8 trials of scented exfoliates and lotion and moisturiser like Patrick fucking Bateman to not look like a post-apocalyptic zombie these days from the lack of sleep he ever gets any more.

 

“You showed up at my house, _completely_ unannounced.” He complains as he yanks clothes out to construct an outfit before getting in the shower.

 

“With E, a ten-inch dick that has ruined my life and a voice that has my sisters questioning theirs. I don’t do well with your kind of surprises. And I don’t appreciate you not waking me up with a kiss and breakfast in bed.”

 

Warmth is suddenly right behind Louis as hands tugs his hips back and whips him around, making him gasp when he’s met with two brown eyes burning holes into his.

 

_"You know, you talk too much. You need to shut the fuck up.”_

 

“Then _shut_ me the fuck up.”

 

 _“You’re gonna lower your voice and correct your tone when you’re talking to me from now and on, Tomlinson.”_ He says lowly.

 

Louis breathes in the scent of him with an inward smile, draping his arms over each other behind Zayn’s neck as he threatens him.

 

_“You keep getting this little huffy attitude with me and I won’t let you come up for air next time.”_

 

As if he let Louis come up for air last night. It was always _‘turn back over, I ain’t done yet,’._

 

 _“And what makes you think there’s gonna be a next time?”_ Louis shoots back at him, equally challenging even though Zayn has him backed into a corner.

 

They have a brief stare off, Louis’ heart excited but Zayn’s poker face like a stone.

 

He leans down to Louis’ neck, _torturing_ him with how slowly he moves with his steady gaze trained on Louis’ eyes until he’s nuzzling his neck with his lips and Louis has to break the stare off with a yelp from the pain jumping through his lower half when his bum is pressed back harder.

 

_“The fact that your cock is jumping out at mine says you definitely want a next time.”_

 

Louis’ hand grips the back of Zayn’s hair to pull him off before he can kiss him any further down his collarbone and it’s Zayn’s turn to yelp in pain with smile, blinking up at Louis’ ceiling as he shakes with silent laughter.

 

Louis leans up to Zayn now.

 

“You’re not getting _that_ again until you follow through with your side of the deal miss _sirena.”_

 

Zayn frowns, looking down at Louis.

 

“Excuse me?” He says slowly.

 

“You’re taking me to the island of Lesbos to pick up our little Sappho and then we’re all going to a soiree men are waiting for us make an appearance at.” He reminds him and Zayn rolls his eyes, slapping Louis’ hand off as he walks away.

 

“You are out of your fucking mind if you think I’m going to that--”

 

“Whoa, wait,” Louis pauses, tilting his head with a slow blink.

 

“We had a _deal_.”

 

“No, we didn’t actually,” Zayn looks back at him with an irritated glare. “I was _high_ last night. I don’t even remember any of how I got here. I can’t be accounted for agreeing to go anywhere near--”

 

“Near L--” Louis almost finished it for him but he stopped himself.

 

Zayn narrowed his eyes.

 

“Near KENDALL!” He yells at him. “I’m not going to a place full of those people who hurt my best friend and she shouldn’t have to either!”

 

Louis whips out his cell phone, dialing up a number with his arm crossed over his chest.

 

“Louis…” Zayn starts walking towards him again while Louis is backing away with a smile.

 

“What are you doing…?”

 

After a few rings, she picks up.

 

“Hiya, Pez?” He answers, “Yes! Are you getting ready?”

 

_“LOUIS!”_

 

“Totally. We’re both almost on the way there… no, you’re fine. Take your time love, there’s no rush at all,”

 

Louis ducks out of his reach, running around his room as Zayn chases him for the phone.

 

_“Give that to me--”_

 

His hand covered Zayn’s face, pushing back to keep him out of reach of the phone as he stretches his neck out and confirms with Perrie that they’re on the way to pick her up right now. They start to slap at each other in a cat fight.

 

Zayn leaps onto his back when he makes a run for the door and they both fall on the floor trying wrestle over the phone, laughing away together as they roll around on the floor.

 

 _“Sure,”_ Louis grunts, _“You can talk to Zayn. Right now, actually.”_

 

Zayn’s eyes bulge, shaking his head no as he repeatedly mouths for Louis to say he’s not here.

 

_“He’s just got here!”_

 

He shoves the phone up to Zayn finally and his panic turns into a charming smile.

 

 _“Pezza! H-hey!”_ He clears his throat with fake delight. “Yeah, no, _no!_ I haven’t been here long I just… uh,”

 

Louis bites in his laughter as he begins to turn over and crawl away.

 

“Oh… oh _really?”_ Zayn glares down at Louis sliding out from underneath him.

 

“Yeah, of course I remember telling him we’d _both_ go.” His hand slaps down on Louis’ ass, pulling him before he can get away with Louis kicking him and snickering when Zayn’s starts to tickle him.

 

“How could I not remember saying something that came out of my own mouth?” He shakes his head in a jerky manner with a manic laugh, sarcastic as ever as he yanks Louis all the way back, turning him over and grabbing his shirt to snatch him up to him.

 

Louis grins at being jerked around as Zayn gives him a fake smile while talking through the phone.

 

He leans forward like he’s going to kiss Zayn but he jerks back with a grimace. Louis’ knee comes between his legs instead then, moving back and forth.

 

His grip around Louis’ shirt collar moves up to his throat, his finger wrapping around his neck like he’s about to start choking him if he doesn’t stop but Louis encourages it. He can feel Zayn getting hard against him as he’s nodded his head back against the wardrobe.

 

“Why on _eart-earth_ would I want our sweet boy to be devoured by sharks on his own?? Of _cou-course_ we have to go with him,” He talks through trying not to moan from Louis knee-jerking him off.

 

 _“Zayn are you alright?”_ Perrie asks through the phone.

 

“What? Yeah, no I’m f-fine.”

 

He shoves Louis back so he’s away from him completely as they fall backwards in opposite directions.

 

After Zayn lands on his back with a winded grunt Louis sits over him, lying his chin down on his hands resting over each other calmly on his chest so he can hear the conversation too.

 

Perrie’s logic had nothing to do with Kendall at all for once. She wanted Louis to hook up with Harry (which might’ve had something to do with Kendall). If she had to make an appearance too, then that was fine.

 

“Pezza, facetime us!” Louis shouts from above Zayn.

 

_“Right now?”_

 

“I need to see your wardrobe so we can know what we’re shopping for first!”

 

He lies down on the floor next to Zayn as they wait for her to call them back.

 

“How the _fuck_ did you get her to agree to come to a pool party?” Zayn asks him, slowly shaking his head at the ceiling.

 

Louis reaches up to his nightstand and flashes him his platinum credit card.

 

“She likes designer clothes and I know how to dress girls. I offered to pimp her out with whatever she wanted.” He shrugs.

 

“I’m gonna make her into the prettiest skank bitch Wellington has ever seen.”

 

Zayn laughs, rolling his eyes.

 

“You don’t know what you’ve just invited yourself into.”

 

Louis frowns a little, looking over at Zayn and his off-putting warning

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Wellington is a girl’s world, Lou. There’s a dress code at pool parties for them, which is why I’m shocked she even agreed to it.”

 

“What kind of dress code…?”

 

Zayn turns on his side with a hand propping up his head while his other hand trails down Louis’ chest, circling around his nipple.

 

“The kind that’s illegal as fuck and going to make you want to kill yourself when you take a look around and realise you’re on the island of Lesbos.” He tells him, right before he pinches his nipple and Louis shrieks at the top of his lungs.

 

Zayn’s hand slaps over his mouth with a wide-eyed grin, Louis doing the same with both of his hands over Zayn’s, shocked himself that he just made that horrendous sound.

 

Footsteps charge towards his room right after and his door swings open as his father runs inside to the rescue.

 

“Louis what happened!--” He stops and stills like a statue as he stares at Zayn.

 

The 3 of them all stare at each other, frozen in place and shocked by the sight of each other.

 

“Daddy!” Louis springs to his feet, covering his privates over his underwear.

 

“This isn’t--”

 

“ _Don’t_ , even say anything.”

 

Louis’ dad closes his eyes with a pained expression as he shook his head slowly, like he’d just been brutally reminded of who his son was. Maybe even now thinking about how there wasn’t any force in the world that could change this permanence to his life.

 

They were quiet for a moment and Zayn looked at Louis with terror, like he was about to nosedive through the 3 story window.

 

His dad backs out of the room.

 

“I didn’t see _anything_.” He says, closing the door behind him.

 

Louis and Zayn both let out the biggest sighs of relief with an ocean of guilt before they both burst out laughing.

 

 _“'Daddy',?”_ Zayn chokes and Louis climbs on top of him as they both writhe around laughing.

 

“Shut up, I panicked! That was so awkward, oh my god, I _never_ call him that.”

 

Just when the think they’re in the clear to make a run for it, the door creaks open again as his father pokes his head back in to give him one last warning.

 

“Don’t let your mother see him. That’s all I’m going to say.” He makes sure to add, “And I didn’t see anything.”

 

His eyes were closed the whole time when he left to probably go bleach his eyes or visit church a day early to pray for Louis’ soul. Whatever dad’s who can’t deal with wild childs do with their free time. He wasn’t one of those grandfather parents. He was only in his thirties so, he was a pretty young dad.

 

Louis figured that was one way to not be a witness to a crime punishable by death. Just remove yourself from the situation entirely.

 

He tells Zayn that his dad wasn’t the type that dealt with this kind of thing. Scandal, the awkward sex talk and emotional situations, he tended to shy away from it all when it came to Louis which made his loudmouth mother the dom in this household for both the girls and boy.

 

“Jesus… I suck at meeting parents.” Zayn groaned. “But, your dad’s a fuckin’ _G_.”

 

Louis help pulls him up to his feet, tugging on his jacket and getting on his shoes for him.

 

“Way to get the fuck out of dodge. Mine’s would’ve panicked and offered me a condom.”

 

Louis laughed. That was the first time Zayn ever said anything about his dad, who he’s still never met since his parents are separated.

 

“He’s that supportive of your lifestyle is he?”

 

Zayn nodded with a happy smile.

 

“He actually did that once, in case I needed it. It’s more like he tries too hard _not_ to be shocked by it. I invited him to this gallery once like 3 or 4 years ago that had some of mine and my friends works on display and I had _completely_ forgotten that my centrepiece was a portrait of me and Li making out on a big oil canvas.”

 

Assuming that “Li” was Liam, Louis’ eyes went wide, shocked by the fact that he was telling him a story that involved Liam but he plays it off as he listens.

 

“No way, what did he say?”

 

“He was kind of uncomfortable at first, especially since he’d just _met him_ that day but I was actually way more freaked than he was. I went through all this trouble to set it up, I even had to dress in drag like a boy, it was such a mess.” He snorts.

 

“But it all worked out really well. I think he just wanted me to know it was okay. We had a really nice talk afterwards and he met all my friends from the PFLAG Centre it was happening at… it was a real bonding moment. I was just shocked that he showed up, I’d forgot to censor everything so it wasn’t an overkill but he loved it.” He laughed as he thought about it.

 

Louis smiles too as they go quite for a moment, Zayn smiling at the memory. It seemed like a happy time.

 

“It was probably more like he loved Li to death than my art, he’s way better at parents. When they’re great, dads are _great_.”

 

Louis was _very_ surprised by that admission. Not only had he just told him about how he came out to his dad which resulted in his relationship with him getting better but also his father’s relationship with Liam too.

 

They were both so positive and supportive, Louis wanted Zayn to have a happy ending to it.

 

It wasn’t too much information but, after nothing… it was huge.

 

He didn’t make a big deal of Zayn sharing that with him. He didn’t want to ruin it. He’s learned how Zayn works now and how to treat him if he wanted to be close friends.

 

Zayn was kind of like a turtle. He disappears into his shell most of the time but, he slowly creeps out once in a while when he feels safe to come out or let anyone else in. The shell being his private life and past. Louis understood that. After knowing he’s been through a lot of hardship through the years with trusting people here, it made sense.

 

Louis has got the impression that someone in the past that he trusted a lot betrayed him tremendously so now, he doesn’t let anyone see any other side of him but the lilith, sex God.

 

That was the risky thing about opening up to people. You never know what someone’s going to do with things you hold sacred once you’ve shared it with them. You can’t get it back.

 

If he made a big deal of it like Perrie, Zayn would stop telling him private stuff and block him out like he’s done to her. She hasn’t seemed to figure out yet that the more you force yourself onto Zayn, prying and pulling at him, the further away from him you’ll get until you reach the last level when he cuts you out of his life totally.

 

He was getting more comfortable with Louis every single day for that reason alone so, he didn’t pry further for more details. Even that little tidbit was a lot.

 

He figured Liam was probably who was with Zayn that Yaser was offering a condom to, just in case.

 

He’d never met anyone else who got on with their parents well enough for them to be that open about them being sexually active. Maybe that was a requirement for parenting boys like Louis and Zayn.

 

Louis agreed as they went to the door to check if the coast was clear enough out there for Zayn to get out without being caught. The battle field was littered with dolley’s and toys all over the hall and down the steps.

 

“My mother on the other hand…”

 

Zayn took off with lightning before he could finish, down the stairs with leaps of two and three at a time.

 

 _“Island of Lesbos in a half hour!”_ Louis shouted behind him.

 

_“You better be there to take us shopping when I get there or I swear I’ll--”_

 

 _“Alright!”_ he yells just as he gets to the final step. _“Sappho’s house, I’ll be there!”_

 

He turns back to Louis.

 

“I’d get those nipples exfoliated before going to Leigh’s if I were you.”

 

“What do you mean nipples?”

 

“It’s the dress code, mate.” Zayn backs away, out the door to his truck.

 

“Every bloke here’s dream is the pool party. Jello shots and free nipples to taste. Unless you want Harry to be sucking on some other tits, you better prep yours til they're pretty. You’ve got a real nice arse but your competition’s got you beat by at least 4 cup sizes.”

 

“Bug _off.”_ Louis flipped him the bird before he left with a smile.

 

He shook his head with a wide grin as he went to finish getting an outfit ready before he stopped and looked up at the balcony over the third floor that’s pointed right at Louis’ bedroom.

 

His father was standing there, gawking with a slightly horrified gape until he put his hands up.

 

“I didn’t hear anything.”

 

*

 

 

***Harry pov***

 

A party. It was the standard requirement for all public schools across the western world. The place teens came to dance nights away and do illegal shit they’d reminisce about when they were older and less happy. That was the standard anyways. Harry of course never seemed to grasp the notion of how to meet standards. Especially now, when he’d rather sleep in all day at home than go to another stupid house party. Except for today.

 

Niall didn’t have to drag him anywhere this time. Harry came to Leigh’s place on his own volition. You’d think after what happened at the last one, he would’ve learned his lesson but apparently, that wasn’t enough for Harry.

 

He tells himself he’s here for Liam, to be the designated driver since Liam was planning on getting too drunk to take himself home. Niall gave Liam the dumb idea to get really fucked up again but not to the point of blacking out like he did before to see if Zayn would talk to him again.

 

Niall wasn’t able to convince him that Zayn really engaged with him at Kendall’s party so obviously the right thing to do was drink high amounts of alcohol and maybe get a little high to replicate the moment.

 

Usually, Harry was the voice of reason between the 3 of them. Niall was the wildcard and Liam was supposed to be the brains but when it came to Zayn, reasoning and brains didn’t matter.

 

There was no changing Liam’s mind about it. The least Harry felt he could do was keep a sober mind and watch the two of them. Together, Liam and Niall made an awful team. Harry still doesn’t know how they survived that first year without him here.

 

So yes, Liam was totally the sole reasoning for Harry coming to this party. It definitely wasn’t at all influenced by the fact that Louis told him he was gonna be here too. Every pixie-haired girl that smelled like Chanel makes his heart jump each time he thinks he’s seen him float by. Until he sees tits float by too.

 

He arrived at Leigh's with Liam pretty early. They’re literally the first boys to show up.

 

Leigh’s house was very large but Harry actually liked the atmosphere of it but that just might’ve been because it wasn’t Kendall’s place.

 

Pool parties were the very worst in Harry’s but Niall and Liam _loved_ them… for one obvious reason being the fact that girls never wore bikini tops, even if they weren’t swimming. It was nipples everywhere.

 

There was a slut rule here that took place all summer and early in the school year where a girl could come out showcase her glorious rack and no one could say shit about it because they were all doing it. Like the boys, they only wore bottoms. Bikini tops on the stock market were plunging in Wellington.

 

When Harry and Liam arrive, they make a visit to one of the queens of coke in Wellington: The supplier.

 

[[The supplier]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-M_3ibL7CzM)

 

Harry follows Liam to find Leigh and her boyfriend Josh out by the pool., Harry ignoring all the topless girls while Liam is a smiling ball of sunshine.

 

People always wonder if Liam is bi or gay or whatever but the answer wasn’t really able to be reduced to that kind of label even though it was quite simple.

 

He said he was attracted to femininity, which didn’t necessarily pertain to any one gender but more of an attitude and vibe.

 

Not just soft and ladylike qualities. Quite the opposite actually. The kind of feminine that’s dominant and owns their identity.

 

There was this whole ‘divine feminine’ he was into that was almost on a mythical level. Like liliths and sirens or nymphs.

 

Whatever the hell you wanna call that kind of attraction and sexuality was Liam. And a thing all those beings had in common was that they usually weren’t wearing tops. So, Liam was usually in heaven at these things.

 

“Fucking _love_ pool parties,” Liam says as he looks around and Harry nods.

 

“Yeah, I fucking know you do.” He snorts, looking around too.

 

Harry is actually looking for Louis. Just to talk about the tutoring.

 

Leigh greets them when she comes back inside soaking wet with her wavy hair strategically placed to cover both her girls.

 

She offers them a goody bag that Harry declines. He needed to stay sober today. Liam on the other hand gladly accepts.

 

“Don’t take anything now,” She tells him “Wait a little later. You might get a surprise.” She winks.

 

Liam accepts it without any questions, stripping down and diving into the pool to be immediately joined by Jesy and Barbra.

 

“Why do you always give him stuff for free?” Harry asks her as she makes her way back inside of the quickly filling house to turn up the stereo.

 

“Cause it’s already paid for. Lima never has to give me money,” she says simply, greeting other people. Harry quirked an eyebrow.

 

_“By who?”_

 

When Leigh hesitates to answer, Harry’s mind slowly clicks into place as he realises what Leigh just called him.

 

“Z?” he guesses cautiously. He gets his answer when she nervously bites on her lip.

 

“Wow.” Is all Harry says, shaking his head in disbelief.

 

“Harry, it’s not what it sounds like.” She sighs, but Harry backs away

 

“And what does it sound like to you? Because it kind sounds like to me that you’re drugging Liam for Zayn and if it’s for the reason I _think_ then I don’t want to hear what you have to say.”

 

A conversation with Zayn slips into Harry’s mind again

 

_‘I get a kick out of humouring tweaked out rich kids, my dirty secrets out.’_

 

“Harry it’s not like that!” Leigh urges,

 

“He’s not trying to get back into Li’s pants or anything. He would never do that.”

 

Harry laughs out loud

 

“Well, everyone knows that’s for damn sure innit?” He snorts harshly.

 

Leigh-Anne recoils a little at that, but Harry doesn’t stop

 

“He just likes screwing with his head then is that it? Because that’s _fucked up._ ” Harry shakes his head and starts back out towards the pool towards where Liam is but Leigh-Anne grabs his arm to stop him

 

“Harry wait, please.” She begs. He sighs and turns back to her, waiting for her to go on despite himself.

 

“Zayn isn’t trying to mess with Liam’s head. He just doesn’t want Liam getting into any other drugs. And he can’t stand not talking to him.”

 

Harry shakes his head in confusion. If he didn’t want him to do drugs, why would he want him snorting _coke?_ Harry doesn’t even know what Sophie is. It could be coke. It could be everything mixed together.

 

“What do you mean? If he can’t stand not talking to him, he just just TALK to him, not drug him.”

 

“Just listen for a second.” Leigh hisses. He runs his hand through his hair roughly, annoyed.

 

This was the most overly complicated thing in the world to understand.

 

“The first time it happened, it was an accident. Sort of. Remember last year at Maz’s party when Liam got really high for the first time?”

 

Harry nods. He met Kendall that night.

 

“Well, Liam was so tweaking so much that night, he just talked to Zayn for hours and then he didn’t remember anything the next time he saw him. It terrified Zayn cause Liam didn’t do drugs and he didn’t want him to start. At first he was pissed at me for giving Liam anything but after I explained to him it’s was harmless, he asked if I could give it to Liam again if he ever tried to buy anything so the same thing would happen. I swear it’s completely safe.”

 

Harry takes a moment to process the information. So… Zayn was paying Leigh-anne to give Liam safe drugs without him knowing. Harmless or not, it was still kinda fucked.

 

"So, Liam doesn't ever remember Zayn talking to him when he takes it? What kind of drug like that can possibly be harmless?"

  
"He doesn't exactly forget." Leigh explains.

  
"He probably does remember everything but, he's always going through a trip while it’s happening so he thinks the whole thing is a hallucination since whenever he sees Zayn again, it's like it never happened."

 

Looking back now, realising how Liam acts when he's tripping on sophie then "forgetting" everything when his high comes down... it all made sense to Harry now.

 

The memory is still there somewhere. It was the perfect way to talk to Liam without actually talking to _Liam_ Liam.

 

“If Zayn wants to talk to him so badly, why doesn’t he just get over whatever made him hate being around him so much like a normal person?”

 

Leigh looks at him with raised eyebrows.

 

“You don’t _honestly_ think Zayn hates Liam do you?”

 

Harry shrugs his shoulders

 

“I don’t know. You tell me.” He snarks

 

“Well he doesn’t. He wouldn’t be so concerned about whether Liam was doing hard drugs and he definitely wouldn’t pay so much money just to make sure he doesn’t.”

 

“There are easier ways to resolve that. Why doesn’t he just, I dunno, communicate that to him?” Harry points out but Leigh rolls her eyes, exasperated

 

“Look, it’s none of your business and none of mine either. No one is doing anything wrong. We’re not _forcing_ Liam to take drugs. All my job is to make sure he doesn’t take the wrong kind. If you’ve got a problem, either tell Zayn yourself or get over it. I’m just the bloody supplier”

 

Harry scratches his head

 

“Do you actually…” He hesitates to ask for only a moment.

 

“Do you know what happened with them last year--”

 

 _“He cheated on them, Harry!”_ She blurts then quiets down to make sure no one heard it.

 

Harry’s eyes bulge.

 

_“What! Who? Who cheated--”_

 

“No one. Forget it.” She shakes her head and walks away. “Just forget I said anything.”

 

And with that, she walks away to greet the rest of her guests coming inside.

 

This definitely wasn’t at all over. It was pretty obvious who was the one that would’ve cheated since half of the ex-couple is still a virgin.

 

He wanted to just go confront Zayn about it again but, he didn’t want a repeat of last time. He can’t confront him here. He’s too angry about it to do it here right now.

 

This time, he _was_ going to be doing something about it instead of sitting on unwanted information. Maybe even just tell Liam himself.

 

Yeah, he agreed to give Zayn time for whatever the fuck as long as he wasn’t hurting him but… this was all wrong. If Zayn cheated then Liam had no idea and he deserves to know if only he’d forget about Zayn for good.

 

He couldn’t keep quiet about this kind of shit. He hates when people tell him secrets. He has too many he’s keeping from Liam now.

 

Harry first decides to discard of the goody bag Leigh gave Liam, making a note to pay Zayn back the difference some other time. It wasn’t meddling if you didn’t get caught, right?

 

Next step gets put on hold when Harry looks back into the house and sees Louis walk in with the devil himself.

 

 _Of course_ they came together. Now Harry has to avoid Louis too. If he gets too close to Zayn, he just might punch him in the face, then he’d have Liam on his ass.

 

This party was going to be a ridiculous ride.

 

*

 

***Louis/Zayn pov***

 

Although Louis had multiple health concerns with his heart, it didn’t stop him from being a bit of an adrenaline junkie. Today, at this party, he was gonna satisfy that ravenous hunger for excitement.

 

He kept up with the dress code and got a little fashionable for it even though he wasn’t gonna be wearing a lot of clothes eventually.

 

He wore swim trunks that were a small step below a speedo that showed his entire ass, just taking Zayn’s advice in showing off all his best curves.

 

Over them, he wore a pair of black skinny jeans with a few silver studs on the back pockets that were probably designed for girls but he obviously didn’t care.

 

His shirt was meshed and completely see through.

 

Zayn looked very low-key with his batman t-shirt and leather jacket with his baggy jeans. He had grey coloured contacts in today and his hair was hidden underneath a red beanie. Apparently, he couldn’t swim so he wasn’t planning on getting wet or taking anything off. For the pool.

 

Louis arrives with separately just to not raise any eyebrows.

 

Perrie walks in right after and Louis gapes at her in shock even though he’s the one that bought her the outfit. He supposed he didn’t actually believe she’d wear it.

 

She all she had one was a white crochet tunic for swimwear, sequin bikini bottoms under it and _no_ top. It was then Louis noticed that there weren’t _any_ girls wearing tops and that the dress code actually didn’t apply to him.

 

He was more shocked by her belly piercing. She even left off the make-up. It was all totally different from the dark gothic, full coverage clothing she usually wore. This fit her much better.

 

“Perrie, fuck!” Louis praises her after she gives him a hug. “I knew you were hot but please,  _fuck me!”_

 

“And you look scandalous with you nips hanging all out” Perrie laughs, pinching his nipples.

 

“What the fuck, _Pez!”_ Zayn yells when he comes up to her, also in shock.

 

“What did he do to you, you look like a skank!”

 

Louis almost thinks he doesn’t approve for a split second until he hugs her with a triumphant scream.

 

“You really think so?” She picks at her hair, in a bun.

 

“Honestly, yes bitch. _I’d_ fuck you.”

 

She rolls her eyes and tells them she’s off to get a drink with Zayn trailing behind her, raving about how beautiful her tits are sitting.

 

 _“Find Harry before candle does.”_ Zayn tells Louis in his ear, slapping his ass as they go hand in hand towards the kitchen. Louis blushes as he smiles after him, butterflies in his stomach.

 

“Louis!”

 

He looks through the crowd and sees Eleanor across the room with Lottie before he can even think of where to look next as he scurries over,

 

“Oh my God, babe!” They kiss each others cheeks.

 

“You look gorgeous!”

 

He can’t even get out words. There’s an overload of tits in his face right now, it’s actually overwhelming.

 

“You too.” He gets out with a nod, seemingly unable to find her face.

 

He looks away instead, off into the growing crowd.

 

“Have you guys seen Harry anywhere?” He asks them both.

 

Eleanor thinks about it before she shakes her head.

 

“No… but Mikey is looking _so_ fit, should I go talk to him?” She asks them both.

 

Lottie and Louis both exchange blank stares.

 

“You did not just say that…” Lottie grimaces at her.

 

“What? He’s a good kisser!”

 

“He’s your _cousin.”_ Louis says slowly.

 

“Yeah but he’s my _first_ cousin.” She smiles, like this is the most logical maths they should realise.

 

Louis and Lottie both nod at the same time.

 

_“Right…”_

 

“So you have your _cousins_ and then you have your 1st cousins and then you have your 2nd cousins,” Eleanor goes on, counting on her fingers and Lottie stops her.

 

“No, honey…”

 

Eleanor draws up her own mistake now, looking between Louis and Lottie blankly.

 

“That isn’t right is it?”

 

Louis shakes his head as he looks off at the crowd.

 

“That is _so_ not right.”

 

“Hey,” Eleanor tilts her head.

 

“Didn’t you come here with Zayn?”

 

Louis stills, blinking a few times before he turns back to them slowly.

 

“Yeah,” Lottie agrees. “Melissa said he was in your neighbourhood this morning.”

 

 _“What?”_ He squeaks. “No, no, no--- I mean, yes. He… he _was--_ I mean we, d--did but--”

 

“Oh my God, you fucked him.” Eleanor puts down her drink and takes Louis’ hands.

 

“NO!” He lies immediately.

 

“Then what were you doing last night?” Lottie looks him up and down.

 

“You weren’t _sleeping.”_

 

_‘Having sex. All night long.’_

 

There was no way he was discussing this with these gossip queens.

 

“Spill it. Louis you have to!”

 

“No, I don’t!”

 

“Oh come on, what kind of homosexual are you?” Lottie grimaces again.

 

“The kind that fucks guys.” he tells her and Eleanor laughs with a squeal.

 

“Tell us! Oh my God Louis please, I’m _dying_ to know what it’s like!”

 

When it came down to it, Louis thought about how often did a person get to live out a fantasy in their lifetime and not share it with his friends.

 

A beautiful boy from another world visiting him in the dead of night that gives him the most intense piping of his life for God knows how many hours straight?

 

Across the room, he makes eye contact with Zayn exiting the kitchen with Perrie and he gives him this smirk with narrow eyes as he mouths,

 

_‘Are you good?’_

 

He swallows as his heart speeds up, flashing back to sitting on his face, _straddling_ Zayn’s face after he rode Louis’ back end a few hours ago.

 

 _“Shit,”_ he mutters to himself, looking away.

 

He thinks he might be falling for Zayn.

 

He looks back at Eleanor and Lottie.

 

“He fucked me for like 12 hours, I swear I came like a dozen times.” he blurts now that the urge to announce it to the whole world has come back.

 

He tells them _everything_ . Every position, on his back, his side, his other side, his stomach with his face pushed into his mattress. Every promise he kept, every time he had to put his hand over Louis’ mouth each time he almost let out a scream of ecstasy because he not only lives up his hype but _surpasses_ it by at least a few inches and how he passed out. Spent. Exhausted. Insensate afterwards. How he could still feel him there right now.

 

He wanted to tell every stranger he passed by that he fully lost his virginity last night.

 

Not just first, second and third base like usual but totally entire fucking world rocked all the way through. He’s always been too afraid to go all the way through with it but he’s glad he finally did. He didn’t want to be that guy that falls for the emotionally unavailable boy that pops him open or fucks him like he actually hates his guts but he doesn’t regret any of it. Even if they never talk to each other again after this weekend, long after he was dead and gone, Louis was never going to forget Zayn.

 

He didn’t tell them that but everything else was out there.

 

“Oh my _God…”_ Eleanor blinks up at Zayn afterwards like she’s in shock.

 

“So he really is gay.”

 

“What?” Louis pulls back, confused.

 

“I thought you--”

 

“Uh-huh,” She shakes her head.

 

“But you wrote in the book--”

 

“I’ve never been able to get him fully hard.” She shrugs. “I mean, yeah he’s great in bed. And he gives _amazing_ head and he likes watching girls make out rub our,” she clicks her tongue, “against each other like other boys but, I never knew he actually slept with _boys_ too. Even a threesome was always with two girls. He’d just watch us get each other off until it’s time to do legwork. But he doesn’t ever get completely hard. I’ve always had a suspicion that he wasn’t attracted to girls.” She explains.

 

Louis doesn’t even have an opinion on that. _Whatever_ the hell he is, he knows exactly what he’s doing in the bedroom. He hopes he didn’t just out Zayn.

 

“The only reason we know how big he is because he showed everyone like, 2 years ago.” Lottie shrugs and Louis gags.

 

_“What?”_

 

“Someone spread a rumour that he was a girl pretending so during lunch, he came to the cafeteria, which he _never_ does, stood on a table and dropped his trousers in front of the whole school and told everyone to suck his… you know. Liam was so angry at him, it was _hysterical_.”

 

While Louis heard the tall tales of Zayn’s past, somewhere else in the room Zayn is drinking a beer with his foot propped up as he leans back against a wall to smolder off into space while Perrie rambles off something to him he isn’t really bothering to listen to.

 

He’s too busy scanning the crowd to see who he was gonna be ending the night with before he goes downtown latter tonight.

 

There's a few people trying to hold his gaze but, he only smirks and looks away. When he sees Liam though, he ducks out of view completely, dragging Perrie with him.

 

“Shit,” he hisses. Perrie grimaces at the grip he has on her arm.

 

“Ow! Excuse you, you’re _hurting_ me!” she protests as he drags her into the kitchen.

 

“Zayn what’s the matter with you?” She says quizzically, watching Zayn peek into the foyer like he’d seen a ghost.

 

“I didn’t know he’d be here.”

 

Perrie looks off in the same direction until she sees Liam dancing happily with a couple of laughing girls.

 

“Lemon Lime?” She asks, using his code name and Zayn nods, eyes trained on how he’s got his arms wrapped around Sofia and Eleanor. He looks like he’s having a blast. And also totally sober. Zayn swallows thickly.

 

“Oh my god! Are you jealous?” She squeals, smiling wide. Zayn smacks his lips, grimacing.

 

“Of course not. The fuck kind of question is that?” He leans against the counter and grabs another red cup, already filled with something a little stronger than beer.

 

Perrie squints at him, grimacing at the taste but continuing to chug despite himself.

 

“Okay mate, I know you’re a jealous freak but you need to slow it down. You're fucking _aneamic_.”

 

Zayn gulps his drink all the way down anyways then slams it on the counter, glaring at Perrie

 

“Seriously. Stop saying I’m--” _burp,_ “--jealous. I’m not. I just didn’t expect to see him here, that’s all.”

 

Perrie tilts her head, unconvinced.

 

“Why wouldn’t he be? Lima loves parties.”

 

She takes Zayn’s empty cup from him that he tries to refill with more booze.

 

Zayn can’t tell her that the last time he spoke to Liam a month ago at Kendall’s party, Liam said he wasn’t going out as much this semester because of how busy he was with school lately.

 

Perrie still didn’t know Zayn went to Kendall’s and he wasn’t planning on letting her find out. He was just really bored that night and he needed to get laid. Also, he hadn’t talked to Liam in a few weeks so yeah. He went to the enemies party. Instead, of answering her question honestly, he lies.

 

“I don’t know Pez, I just don’t want to see him right now!” He snaps. Perrie frowns then looks around briefly.

 

“Maybe you could just go talk to him. At least say hi. You don’t have to be such an immature dick 100% of the time do you? You’re almost 18 years old, start acting like it.” She rolls her eyes and reaches for a cup of her own on the counter that Zayn promptly takes from her.

 

Before she can protest, Zayn dumps it in a sink.

 

“Don’t drink from open cups.” He says. Perrie crosses her arms

 

“But you can?” She argues. Zayn shrugs.

 

“A boy gets roofied, no one’s really gonna try to take advantage of him. Don’t pick up open drinks off random counters, don’t let random guys get you drinks.”

 

“How convenient that you’re a boy when the moment calls for it.” Perrie shakes her head, completely done with him and his hypocrisy.

 

As she grabs another cup to pour her own drink this time to obey Zayn anyways, Sofia comes into the kitchen and stops as everyone pauses when she notices Perrie and Zayn there already.

 

 _“Oh my,”_ She holds her chest exaggeratedly as she smiles in delight, giving them a pretty smile that Zayn rolls his eyes at.

 

“Has hell frozen over or did you get lost?” she asks and she tilts her head at Perrie.

 

“Why don’t you go ask your mother?” Zayn says for her with and even prettier smile.

 

Perrie doesn’t scold Zayn for that low blow at her as Sofia’s eyes gloss over.

 

Coming for Perrie when Zayn is around is just _begging_ him to bite you where it hurts.

 

Sofia ignores him, moving between them as she grabs a cup off the table then turns to them as she leans on the counter and takes a sip.

 

“Nice hair by the way. What’s it made of?” She asks Perrie, who tucks a lock a pink hair behind her ear as she crosses her arms and looks at the ground.

 

“Nice camel toe. Didn’t know yoga pants were in this season.” Zayn nods down to her tights that left nothing to the imagination as he smiles at her.

 

“You’re supposed to have your tits out, by the way. Your boyfriend might pay more attention to you since he loves that shit so much.”

 

Sofia looks at Zayn now.

 

“You would know wouldn’t you? Or have you not decided if you’re a girl or boy yet?”

 

“Girl.” Zayn answers with a nod like their having a serious conversation.

 

“I’m on the waiting list for some new tits myself. I’m thinking double D’s like that lovely rack sitting under your chin. You can donate to my GoFundMe page in you want to contribute to the cause.”

 

“ _Zayn!”_ Perrie hits him in his arm as she glares at his sideways smile.

 

_“You’re already drunk--”_

 

“Hardly. Try _buzzed.”_

 

“What are you drinking? Cyanide today?”

 

Zayn blocks her path from so she can’t leave she she turns around with her roofied drink.

 

“Wow a suicide crack, can you be anymore original?” He asks her as he snatches the cup out of her hand and promptly dumps it all down her white Alexander Mcqueen sequin shirt that had to have cost a few bricks.

 

Sofia’s hands shoot up as she _shrieks_ in shock when Zayn tosses the empty cup over his shoulder and leans in close.

 

“Next time, it’s your Kim Kardashian extensions darling.” He doesn't smile this time cause he's not joking.

 

Sofia immediately flees the kitchen in near-tears, surely to tell everyone that Zayn just attacked her while Zayn yells behind her,

 

 _“Maybe throw in growing a 10-inch dick to your to-do list and your boyfriend will like you better, babe.”_ As he leans against the counter, like nothing happened.

 

After gaping in _shock_ for a few seconds, Perrie storms up to him, completely unimpressed.

 

_“What the FUCK is wrong with you!?”_

 

“I just helped her get up on the dress code, what’s the big deal?” Zayn shrugs at her in confusion as to why she’s so offended.

 

“Are you mental?” She asks him as she gestures to her head in rage.

 

“You don’t _do_ that to someone! I don’t care who it is, you have completely LOST IT--”

 

“Boo fuckin’ who, like you give a damn about that whore.” Zayn rolls his eyes as he waves her off, going over to the fridge and grabbing a can of cheap, diluted beer while Perrie watches in disbelief.

 

“Sometimes, you can go _too far.”_ She says as Glen walks into the kitchen and stops when he sees Perrie.

 

He comes to the other side of the counter where there’s a myriad of various alcoholic beverages to choose from.

 

“Can I get you a drink?”

 

“No. You can fuck off.” Zayn smiles at him as he hops up on the counter and sips from his can.

 

Perrie shakes her head at him before she looks at Glen with a smile.

 

“Yeah, sure.” she says with a little glint in her baby blue eyes that would twinkle sometimes when she smiled.

 

Zayn snorts when she accepts the drink he gives her, no doubt just to spite Zayn. He doesn’t say anything at all when they go off to the pool leaving him in the kitchen, alone with his demons.

 

Outside in the foyer, he sees Sofia crying with Liam in the place they were dancing at still, rapping to him her sob story as he tried to calm her down with a gentle hand on her back. She points towards the kitchen then and Liam’s eyes follow to where Zayn is, grimacing as he continues to chug his shitty beer with his shitty mood.

 

They stare at each other for a few seconds, Liam with confusion for only a second until Sofia goes off with Eleanor and he cracks a small smile, shaking his head at Zayn.

 

Zayn chokes on his beer as he snorts, spitting it out in the process and Liam openly laughs out loud now.

 

It’s then that Zayn starts to reconsider Perrie’s suggestion as he holds in a shared smile with Liam.

 

He’s not sure if they can ever go back to the way things were. He’s not sure why he’s smiling at Liam or even looking his way at all when there’s a little rich girl clinging to his side and begging him to continue to grind on her like he always does.

 

Zayn grimaces as he hops off the counter and almost falls on the ground realising he is drunk as he lifts himself back up to his feet with his arms on the counter, refusing to look at Liam again after that.

 

He adjusts his beanie again and goes to get another beer although, with the amount of alcohol he's already consumed in such a short time, he feels like barfing right now.

 

There’s no way he can talk to Liam casually. He doesn’t even know what he’s say to him.

 

There’s nothing to say.

 

Across the room, Harry runs into Eleanor and Lottie, just the girls he was looking for.

 

“Hey, have you guys seen Louis?” He asks them. Lottie shakes her head.

 

“No sorry,”

 

“Oh yes!” Eleanor smiles. “I just seen him OUCH!” She shrieks when Lottie kicks her.

 

Harry looks between them two of them with caution.

 

“Seen him where…?”

 

“By… the…” Eleanor’s eyes wander until she sees behind him.

 

“By the pool!” She yelps with a smile. Lottie nods in agreement.

 

Harry still looks between the both of them strangely, reminded why he never talked to them.

 

“Thanks.” He nods and leaves right after, going on a search outside.

 

On the other side of the foyer, Perrie finds Louis moping at the fireplace.

 

“Well, you look bored.” She sits down next to him.

 

“I _am_ bored.” he groans. “There’s so much girl in girl action… I feel like I’m in a lesbian bar.”

 

Perrie laughs as she looks around.

 

“Yeah… they only do it for attention anyway.” She looks back at him.

 

“Have you tried to get a crack at Harry?” Perrie asks, having to almost shout over the loud music.

 

He shrugs. “I’ve been looking all over, I don’t even care if he’s here anymore. I’ll check back with you when I crack.”

 

He wasn’t really sure how he was going to go about trying to chat to Harry if they were going to be talking about something other than calculus. He kind of just wanted to go home with Zayn and no one else. He’s all Louis has been able to think about all day long.

 

 _‘Shit.’_ He kicks at cup on the ground as he thinks about last night.

 

He might be in love with Zayn, this is a _disaster_.

 

Perrie frowns at his miserable state.

 

“How about I go get you a drink as well then we can find Harry?”

 

Louis shrugs with a sigh.

 

“I’m gonna be right back, don’t crack without me.” Perrie says in Louis’ ear before going off back towards the kitchen. Louis grabs her hand.

 

 _"Pezza?_  "

 

She looks back, raising her eyebrows. Louis pauses before he gives her a small smile.

 

"Say crack one more time."

 

Perrie smiles.

 

"Crack."

 

They both laugh as she skips away.

 

Kendall comes over to Louis suddenly, drink in hand and breasts on display. The look a little bigger than Louis remembered but he smiles at her and stands for a hug since it’s the first he’s seen of her.

 

“Why were you talking to Perrie Edwards?”

 

It’s the first thing she says to Louis, who feels his face drain.

 

“You looked pretty bored.”

 

“I dunno, she’s so weird. She just came over to me and started talking to me about crack.” Louis lies quickly.

 

Kendall snorts

 

“She’s so pathetic.”

 

Louis nods in agreement even though he wants this bitch to choke right now, sweat beading at his forehead. Kendall looks him in the eye then.

 

“Let me tell you something about Perrie Edwards.” She starts, more gossip now that Louis is actually quite sick of but, Louis leans in closer anyways because that’s what you do when someone is telling you someone else’s business.

 

“We were best friends in 7th grade.”

 

Louis smiles in surprise.

 

“Wow, really?”

 

“I know right? It’s so embarrassing.”

 

Louis nods stiff with his frozen smile still plastered on his face.

 

“After middle school, I started hanging out with Eleanor and Lottie but Perrie would get _weirdly_ jealous of them. Like, whenever we did something without her, she would call me all day long until I got home and she’d be all ‘Where were you? Why didn’t you call me back?’ and I’d be like ‘Why are you so obsessed with me?’”

 

Louis swallows, nodding silently as she continues.

 

“So, for my birthday party a few years ago, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like ‘Perrie, I can’t invite you because I think you’re a lesbian’. I mean, I’m not homophobic or anything but I couldn’t have a lesbian at my party. There was gonna be girls in their bathing suits there. I mean, she was a lesbian!”

 

She keeps saying the word like it was some kind of shocking disease she discovered Perrie was afflicted with.

 

“So then her mum called my mum and started yelling at her and it was so retarded. Then, she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her. Eventually, she tried to kill herself after she overdosed on drugs one day cause that girly guy, Zayn found her like half dead in her house so, she got sent to rehab. When she came back in the fall last year, she was all skinny and boney looking, probably from the drug addiction, and she was totally weird and… now I guess she’s on crack.” She says, sighing as if she pitied Perrie.

 

After Louis picks his jaw off the floor, he still can’t manage to find any words.

 

For one thing, he just without a doubt started a rumour that Perrie Edwards might be on crack as he’s exposed both Perrie and Zayn to the wrong people today, hoping this doesn’t come back to bite him in the ass on Monday at school after the rumours here swirl into twisted nonsense all weekend.

 

For another, he doesn't even know how to react to everything Kendall just said.

 

When Lottie comes over to them and pulls them into the foyer to dance, he moves robotically along.

 

What Kendall told him was still too shocking to register in his mind right now. That wasn’t just some made up rumour Kendall heard. This thing with Perrie...it actually happened. He doesn’t know how to feel about it. After a few minutes of looking a bit lost, Kendall pulls Louis with her out of the foyer.

 

“Where are we going?” He asks as they move through the crowd.

 

“By the pool. I want to play a game.”

 

Louis is almost about to tell her he doesn’t really feel like playing Marco polo right now until he spots Harry out there sitting alone next to the pool, watching everyone else instead of enjoying himself.

 

He feels a little bad, seeing how lonely he looks. That’s probably how Louis looked here.

 

Something inside him changes. Yeah, this party was pretty fucking lame but Louis wasn’t.

 

He is suddenly up for a fun game outside if it means he can get Harry to play too as Louis takes this party into his hands and shakes things up himself since no one else was going to do it.

 

In the kitchen, Zayn has lost track of how many drinks he’s on when Niall enters the room with Tom in tow, blocking Zayn’s view of Liam. He resists the urge to roll his eyes at them. Instead, he gives them a winning smile.

 

“Why don’t you two look like the _appy_ couple?” He tries to sound cheery but he feels the slur in his voice trying to manifest.

 

Niall grits his teeth but returns Zayn’s smile with strain.

 

Tom doesn’t react at all, ignoring Zayn completely as he tells Niall to bring him a drink out by the pool before excusing himself.

 

He looks back at Zayn once with a death glare before he slams the door shut. Zayn smiles away from Tom, back to Niall.

 

“Right. I don’t see anyone lining up to keep you company so I think I’m in a better position than you.” Niall says when Tom leaves, all too sweetly. He starts making a drink when Zayn gives him a naughty grin.

 

“Well, you’re ‘ere aren’t you?” he asks, leering openly at Niall, who ignores him, much to Zayn’s delight.

 

He creeps a little closer, leaning over the counter with his beer dangling from his fingertips so it’s harder for Niall to pretend he isn’t there. In a low voice, he almost whispers.

 

_“Do you bottom for Tommy too or was that arch in your back put there just for me?”_

 

Niall almost knocks over the entire bottle he’s shakily pouring into a red cup. He looks up at Zayn finally.

 

 _“What are you doing….”_ He mutters through clenched teeth.

 

The space in the kitchen feels a bit tighter suddenly, the music even sounding muffled around them. Zayn makes a point to lick over his lips and enunciate slowly

 

“I’m just reminding you of how easily I can have you if I wanted you. _On your couch.... that desk in the middle of class… in Tom’s bed... any time, any place..._ ” Zayn names places they’ve hooked up, his voice as glossy and enchanting as his eyes.

 

He smirks at how Niall’s jaw slacks, practically drooling. He’s totally transfixed while also being assaulted with the memories of every time they’ve gotten busy and there’s nothing he can do about it.

 

Zayn sits back up straight then, a smug grin pulling at his lips.

 

“So you said something about being in a better position than me?” He asks sarcastically in a normal voice.

 

“I’ve seen you in some pretty tight ones.”

 

Niall snaps back into reality, instantly losing the nice act.

 

“You think you’re so clever don’t you? Using sex like some kind of weapon over people.” He sneers, but Zayn tilts his head to the side, pretending to think

 

“Hmm… nah. I think it’s just you. I wouldn’t have to use sex over you if you could see 2 feet past your cock.”

 

“Is that your way of saying you think I have a big dick?”

 

“If that makes you feel better about me never even seeing it then sure. You’ve a massive cock darling.” Zayn says, uber sweet.

 

It takes everything in Niall not to throw a drink in his face. Or maybe even reach across the counter and punch him, if only to wipe that stupid self-satisfied smirk off his perfectly charmed face as he takes another swig of his beer.

 

Punching Zayn wouldn’t stop anything he just said from being true though. Zayn has never seen Niall’s dick, not even once. But he’s seen his ass in every possible position he can get it in.

 

Never given him a blowjob or a handy. He always said he didn’t give head. To boys. He’d never be caught submitting himself to Niall.

 

It always ate him up inside having to admit that. It wasn’t an issue about being fucked by Zayn. No one ever complained about that because it was honestly the best sex he’s ever had in his life. It was just about the power Zayn had over him and how easily he submitted to it. Zayn didn’t submit to anyone, never bowing down to anyone else on his knees.

 

He can’t even comprehend how much he hates Zayn until he sees him again.

 

He was a cocky asshole and Niall figured out a long time ago that Zayn got off on emasculating guys and everytime, Niall still gave in to it. His hate towards Zayn would turn into angry sex with Zayn, and Zayn couldn’t get enough of how little effort it took to do it.

 

“‘ _With stone-blind lascivious eyes does sex make a fool… just like the man he is.’_ ” Zayn says in that voice again, the one that made you almost believe whatever came out of his mouth.

 

“Not in your case I guess. You’re not even _half_ of a man. You’re a _child._ There’s a tiny little boy inside you, banging on his closet door. He’s petulant and he’s _screaming.”_

 

“Fuck you, you fucking--.”

 

 _“F-Faggot?_ ” Zayn finishes for him with a stutter.

 

He’s smoothing back his hair in one cool motion.

 

“Thanks but no thanks. I’m not that drunk.” He hiccups, clearly lying as he teeters.

 

Niall laughs, shaking his head as he goes back to making Tom’s drink.

 

“You’re a drunk and disgusting mess dude. That’s really sad. And like I said, you definitely _want_ to be called that.”

 

“Not the only one at this party.” Zayn snorts as he knocks the can back again.

 

He's finishing it in one gulp as he crushes the can in his hand and tosses it on the counter while Niall has stopped, glaring at Zayn fully now.

 

Zayn tilts his head at Niall in amusement.

 

“What now? Does my existence offend you and your silly boyfriend?”

 

“ _Watch it_ Malik.” Niall puts everything down now as his eyes darken but Zayn shrugs, feeling the edginess of the alcohol spoiling in his blood like sugar and making it feel impossible to not continue to spill out words he’s gonna regret tomorrow.

 

He’s already feeling regret of everything he’s said since coming into this house but the words just won’t stop.

 

“Speaking of, why don’t you tell Tommy I’m selling a brown bean bag chair with his name on it. I mean, with his _stain_ on it. I’ll even cut the price in half for the sentimental value. His sentiments, not mine since I never actually came--”

 

Niall reaches across the table as he hops over it dramatically, grabbing Zayn by the collar of his shirt as he backs him into the counter so the marble top digs into his back. Zayn winces, knowing he’s gonna have a massive bruise there later.

 

 _“Stay away from Tom.”_ Niall growls low, in his face. Zayn’s smirk has long since vanished too as he glares at Niall getting in his face.

 

_“You should definitely take your threats to your faggot boyfriend and tell HIM to stop STALKING me. It’s been over a year since I fucked him so to say it’s been getting quite pathetic is a real understatement. It must KILL you that I fucked him first, doesn't it? That he will always think my name first when you touch him and he'll resent the fact that I'll never fill him whole again because God knows YOU aren't and if you try, you'll never measure up to ME!”_

 

Niall’s fist winds back finally before he slams it into the cabinet besides Zayn’s head, smashing it in with his knuckles, making Zayn jolt into himself before Niall pulls him by the collar shoving him against the counter once then yanking him forward and slamming him back into it in the same spot with a hard thrust to his back, then throws a disoriented Zayn on the ground, knocking both the wind and drunk slurs out of him.

 

The blast to his head bursts with static in his eyes as he’s blinded for a few seconds, the pain sharp as it sweeps through his back. He landed straight on the middle of his back on the marble ground and it feels like a wrecking ball smashes into his spine.

 

The white lights glaring behind his eyelids after his sight is knocked out start to clear and he doesn’t think he’s ever regretted speaking a word in his life. He can feel blood in his head on the ground.

 

Niall pulls him back up by his shirt again before he can even collect himself as he crouches on top of a now terrified Zayn, this time getting ready to actually punch him in the face. But he stops, holding his fist up in the air as his chest heaves in _fury_.

 

Zayn stops wincing when the blow he’s waiting for never comes, slowly blinking his eyes open as he looks at Niall again.

 

This isn’t a fight. Zayn’s not gonna pretend that Niall pounding his ass is a fight. He’s 68 kilos and captain of the football team. Zayn might have about an inch or two on him but he's a lover, not a fighter.

 

Niall could beat the living daylight out of Zayn with both hands tied behind his back and Zayn would tell him he absolutely deserved it. He’d let Niall kill him if that’s what he needed to do. But he won’t. Because if he gets caught with his hands on Zayn like this, his life is as good as gone.

 

72 kilos of Liam _Payne_ and his iron fist wave hello.

 

“Go ahead.” Zayn urges him after a brief stare off.

 

“Hit me harder so he can _kill you.”_

 

Niall shoves him against the ground, shaking his head with disgust as he stands up straight again.

 

As Zayn scrambles to sit up on his own, Niall’s leg wipes under Zayn’s so he stays on the ground, falling on his back again as Niall bends in front of him one last time, gathering the collar of his shirt again and leaning in close, all threats and glamour written all over his face.

 

“I’d watch my ugly fucking mouth from now on if I were you, because this isn’t over.” He warns slowly.

 

“Your shining knight isn’t gonna be here next year and you have a whole football team of neanderthals who are waiting to fuck you up. Karma is a real ugly bitch, Malik. With all the people you’ve fucked over, I can guarantee you no one forgot.”

 

When Zayn pulls a look of shocked confusion, Niall laughs.

 

“Everyone knows you're fucking Jade. And Leigh-Anne. And Lissa. And just about every girl in our year with a boyfriend on the football team. You can pull the ‘faggot’ card all you want but you and I both know you’re not gay or straight or even human. You're a scummy demon that uses sex like a revenge mechanism just to spite every guy in school. So when I tell you to watch your _fucking_ back next year when Liam's not here to protect you, it’s not a threat. It’s a _promise_ . Perrie got hers so yours is coming _real_ soon.”

 

He lets go of Zayn roughly and steps over him finally, leaving him on the ground with tears on his face. On his way out the door, Niall adds,

 

“Try not to hang yourself or drink bleach tonight before someone else does it for you. I may not be able to make it to your funeral.”

 

He's never been afraid of Niall in the past. He knew he hated him and wouldn't mind seeing him lying in a morgue somewhere, but he's never had his life threatened so blatantly.

 

It wasn’t like this those first few years. He and Niall didn’t always hate each other. But his very existence always made Niall uncomfortable from the very first day they met.

 

Why? Because Niall is gay. Zayn knows he’s gay. Tom knows he’s gay. Liam, Harry, Melissa, they all know Niall is gay. For some strange reason, Niall hates that.

 

Niall couldn’t cope with the fact that he was attracted to Zayn, which at first came about in a series of awkward moments whenever Liam would invite them both to his house or if Liam invited Zayn out with Niall and Harry.

 

At least with Tom, Niall could justify what they were doing by saying he was just “experimenting” (although after 4 years, the experiment excuse was definitely expired). Him and Tom were just friends who had sex, according to Niall. No attraction or commitments. Basically, a very far reach for “no homo”. He couldn’t lie to himself when it came to Zayn though.

 

They weren’t friends. They’ve _never_ been friends and had no other reason to ever associate with each other since their mutual friends - cough - _Liam_ \- cough - were no longer their mutual friends.

 

They just fucked solely because of physical adrenaline cause Zayn couldn’t even say he was attracted to Niall until he’s had a few.

 

Niall could deny feelings for Tom all day but, he couldn’t deny being attracted to Zayn. Just a classic case of self- hate and denial to Zayn. Maybe he’d learn one day that liking dick is _okay_.

 

Or maybe he’d let it tear him apart and kill him.

 

In all honestly, Zayn didn’t care. Closeted or not, Niall was a homophobic prick. Maybe Niall didn’t realise _why_ it made him uncomfortable but, ignorance didn’t make him any less homophobic. It just made him an idiot.

 

There was literally no reason for Niall to hate Zayn as much as he did aside from him being queer. For that, he didn’t like Niall any more than Niall liked him and that was just the way things were between them.

 

Zayn vomits in a ceramic bowl after he stands up, falling to his knees again and heaving through tears behind the counter where no one can see him crying his eyes out, getting ready to leave this hellish place after he can stand again and never come back. He reaches a sink and washes out his mouth until the taste of bile is gone and wipes the gash in his head. His hair is soaked with blood and it’s so ugly on his hands, he bursts into tears just looking at it.

 

He never should’ve come here. But he can’t leave Perrie here. Even though she’s pissed at him, he’s pissed at himself too. Everything within the last 24 hours, within the last 2 _years_ he hates it all.

 

He just wants to go to his flat downtown where he can lose himself to the sound of music at his own party with friends that welcomes him with open arms where he can be himself and not this character participating in this farce. Just drop out and forget Wellington and the awful lies and rumours he can never escape from ever existed. _Everyone_ would be happy if they never saw him again anyways.

 

Outside there’s suddenly a commotion. This grimy [ song ](https://jaylaisdreaming.tumblr.com/post/168066902692/the-valley-from-another-room)starts playing out there like it’s playing in slow motion.

 

Everyone in the foyer of is flooding out to where the pool is and he thinks there might be a fight outside.

 

Zayn quickly finishes wiping his tears after crying for 5 minutes and stumbles his way outside as well to see what the hell is going on.

 

Out there, Louis is standing on a glass table, stripped down to just his tight speedo that were a few sizes too small but still somehow worked on his body, being rowdy and obnoxious, making the crowd get riled up.

 

Zayn cover his mouth with both his hands in disbelief, smiling so wider than he thought was possible.

 

This kid is fucking _insane_ , he might be in love with him.

 

“Alright, who’s next?” Louis shouts, smiling down brightly at the volunteering crowd.

 

Zayn goes to the person nearest to him who happens to be a girl called Georgia who was the daughter of a stockbroker, in a clad bikini that barely covers anything.

 

“What’s going on?” He asks her.

 

She’s got liquor thick on her breath and it nearly knocks Zayn out when he gets a whiff

 

“Body shots!” She squeals excitedly. Just as she says this, Louis spots Zayn at the back

 

“Zaynie!” He shouts “Get your skinny ass up here NOW!”

 

Zayn laughs as the crowd makes room for Zayn to come to the front. He hates the stares and attention but he can’t say no to Louis.

 

“You’ve got some fuckin’ nerve calling _me_ skinny” He teases, pinching Louis’ bum who kicks his hand away playfully

 

“They’re called _curves_ babe.” He tuts, and everyone either laughs or “oohs”.

 

They start cheering loudly again when Louis tears off Zayn’s batman tee, screaming _‘Free the Nipples!’_ as he goes to cover them, unable to stop laughing at this point.

 

Louis scans the crowd’s raised hands, which basically all shot up to volunteer to do body shots on Zayn.

 

“Let’s see… who’s gonna get a taste of Mr. Malik and his tasty nipples…?” Louis teases, looking over their hands before grinning mischievously

 

“LEMON LIME PAYNE!” He shouts with glee and Zayn feels like his heart drops out of his ass.

 

Everyone cheers deafeningly loud and Zayn watches as they make way for Liam, whose face is drained of blood as he’s shoved up to the table. Zayn is face to face with a completely soaking wet, half-naked Liam, save for his swim trunks

 

“You don’t mind, do ya Zaynie?” Louis asks, leaning down to his ear.

 

Zayn would choke him if he wasn’t frozen solid with shock. Louis must take his lack of answer as consent since he shoves Zayn on his back while Liam steps into the space in front of him. Personal space.

 

His eyes are excited but also hesitant and unsure.

 

“Is this alright?” He asks, so quiet over the loud music and rowdy people around them, Zayn barely hears it.

 

He wants to scream “NO!” and run away but, that’d be quite humiliating for both of them. Instead, he lets out a deep breath and closes his eyes, nodding once as he tries to relax and lean his head back on the table. His body is tense as fuck and he wishes he drank something stronger before coming out. Or maybe not come out at all, no pun intended.

 

“Have you done this before?” he hears Louis ask Liam. He must say no because Louis proceeds to tell him step-by-step what to do.

 

While Louis explains to Liam how to _lick up Zayn’s body, pour salt and repeat,_ Zayn distances himself away from the table. He detaches himself away from all the demons around them, away from the hell known as the party, even away from himself for a moment.

 

He had been practicing transcendental meditation ever since he was a kid. He learned it from his father. He taught him that his soul was infinite and that every part of him could be turned off and on at will. It was mainly what kept him so calm all the time for his anxiety.

 

When he was younger, he’d lock himself away in his room whenever things got to crowded and meditate alone until he found peace of mind. He says his usual mantra quietly to himself about 4 or 5 times until he feels all the toxins released from his skin. Or maybe that’s the heat coming from Liam being so close to him he feels. Regardless, he still opens his eyes again, feeling way less tense, watching Liam and how he nods in understanding to Louis, a little flushed but completely concentrated on Louis’ every word.

 

Zayn lets himself smile, because that was the appropriate thing to do. This was supposed to be fun. Liam looks at Zayn and lights up in the same way he always did when Zayn looked at him and it makes Zayn smile genuinely, not a smirk or glimmer and they’re suddenly smiling at each other and fuck if Zayn didn’t miss this so much he could just fuck-off and escape this madness with Liam right then and there.

 

“Come on then!” he says, furrowing his eyebrows like he’s challenging Liam to a fight.

 

Liam’s face scrunches up into his adorable wide grin, then he’s back to concentrated a few seconds later as he stares at Zayn’s neck and chest with heated intent that makes a cold shiver shoot up Zayn’s spine.

 

Louis pushes a lime into Zayn’s mouth. Liam’s fingers ghost at Zayn’s sides before he grabs his thin waist and hoists himself up onto the table, over Zayn’s body. Something deep inside Zayn’s gut rumbles at the sight Liam’s muscles flexing over him at the exertion of trying not to crush Zayn beneath him.

 

He was definitely going to bruise where Liam’s hands were. There are already bruises all over him from falling around all over the floor but none that belonged to Liam yet.

 

That thought pushes the rumbling in his gut up to his chest, heat spreading out throughout his body. Liam’s eyes scan his upper body thoroughly like he’s examining Zayn for surgery. Zayn tries to tell Liam to come on already but the words are lost both in the lime between his lips and their loud surrounding. Liam seems to get the hint still anyway.

 

Without another moment's hesitation, he leans down and slowly licks a line, achingly slow, from Zayn’s nipple to his collarbone, to his neck. His tongue is ticklish, and so damn smooth. It’s concentrated and moving purposefully in sync with the song playing in the background

 

_I’m your heaven… I’m your hell… I’m your healer babe,_

_pour your sins on me… as we masterbate_ ,

 

He goes over Zayn’s skin about 4 times, and then one more just for added measure.

 

It was kind of funny to think of how easily relaxed Zayn appeared to be in this moment, disregarding being the centre of attention with Liam’s mouth attached to his body. It feels fucking great. Like a little massage, only with a tongue painting over every valley residing on his body.

 

He thinks about when Liam used to press kisses into his stomach all the time, always telling him how beautiful his body was. It almost makes him start crying again because it was all a lie.

 

Louis hands him loose salt so Liam can pour it on the trail he’s made on Zayn. When he gets the shot glass, he pauses.

 

“Where do I pour this again?” He asks, eyes locked on the work he’s done so far. Louis crouches down so he’s on their level

 

“Well,” He starts, grinning so wide, Zayn laughs. He was really enjoying watching them do this. And Zayn was enjoying doing it.

 

“You can either pour it so it pools at his beautifully golden collarbone,” Louis traces over it without touching

 

“You could go for the belly button, typical but a classic” He pokes Zayn’s belly, making his body jump, then he leans in close to Liam’s ear so only he can hear Louis’ last suggestion. When Louis stands back up, whatever he said has Liam blushing pretty hard and biting back a smile before he decides to stick with the classic naval.

 

Zayn only wonders very briefly what Louis would have said but, when the cold liquor touches him, it’s all he can focus on.

 

Liam lets it pool into Zayn’s belly button and wastes no time to stick his tongue in and slurp it all out, making a sour face at the sting of it right before he brings his lips to Zayn’s nipple, sucking at the salt diligently all the way up to Zayn’s collarbone, then back down, mouthing over the lip stain tattoo on his chest.

 

It is absolute _torture_ being touched like this by Liam again. Zayn is trembling by the time he finishes up the licking every inch of Zayn’s skin that had even one grain of salt on it, then mouth’s at the lime in his mouth.

 

Zayn sits up on his elbows as he tastes salt and tequila on Liam’s tongue. Every nerve in Zayn’s lips is tingling with and electric shock where they meet with Liam’s, who completely takes the lime out of Zayn’s mouth and holds it in his own cheek and their mouths mold into each other. He’s chasing the bitterness in Zayn’s mouth and Zayn is chasing the tequila and takes turns massaging each other’s tongues.

 

Liam’s hand slips into Zayn’s loose hair. He didn’t even notice his beanie slipping off but that was the last thing on his clouded mind right now. His other hand is around Zayn’s wrist, pinning him back down to the table so he’s no long sitting up at all. Liam is completely pressed into him and all grips of reality are lost. They could only ever get lost in kissing like this, always lost in the taste of each other.

 

They’ve had some pretty memorable moments when they’d kiss and lose track of the time back in primary school but it was all innocent and harmless back then. This right here was all consuming and… sexual. When they break away for air, they’re breathing heavily, and their eyes are doused in lust with their pupils blown wide like over-sensitized felines.

 

“Fucking hell that was intense.” Louis murmurs, looking at the two of them like he’d been watching porn.

 

Speaking of, Zayn feels his dick painfully hard in his pants, suffocating under Liam’s weight. He is eternally grateful he wore baggy jeans. Liam however cannot say the same.

 

He’s wearing nothing but soaking wet swim trunks and there’s no way in hell Zayn can ignore the blatant outline of his huge erection in his shorts. He can _feel_ it, and that seems to shock him out of the haze.

 

Liam doesn’t seem very bother by this at all. He’s still looking at Zayn like he’s about to sink his teeth into his throat and it’s not helping Zayn’s situation at all. It feels like he’s slowly coming to from a dream.

 

A wet dream. The reality of where he is and what he’s doing hits him like a brick to the head as his head throbs painfully and it’s suddenly like he’s now returned to his body after leaving just before sitting on this sinful table.

 

Here he is, shirtless and embarrassingly hard with Liam standing between his legs so closely that if they were naked his equally hard dick would be halfway up Zayn’s ass and they’re surrounded with about 40 to 50 pairs of tits and people from their class, all urging them on and vying for Louis’ attention to be next, all having just witnessed Zayn snogging up a storm with the Voldemort to his Harry Potter.

 

Tear well up in his eyes again. He’s gonna be sick.

 

“You alright, loves?” Louis asks the two of them, concern in his tone.

 

Zayn looks positively green-faced and Liam looks worried, half for Zayn’s sake and half because it looks like he’s 5 seconds away from being the target in line of Zayn’s eminent projectile vomiting. It’s all too fucking much for him to handle. Fuck the humiliation.

 

Zayn snatches his hat off the table next to him and pushes Liam off as he makes haste getting back into the house before he throws up from the anxiety and liquor choking him out as they wrestle with each other inside his bile infested stomach.

 

Zayn is a light-weight. He gets drunk very easy and he doesn’t hold it down well. With all the beer he drank coupled with what just happened… this was gonna be ugly.  

 

Everyone only looks momentarily confused before they’re back to eagerly calling for Louis to pick the neck pair to do shots on the table he’s still standing on. He makes like he’s gonna get down to go after Zayn but Liam stops him

 

“You stay here, I’ll go make sure Zayn is okay.”

 

Louis nods as Liam starts towards the house but is blocked when Melissa practically flings herself onto the table with a boy called Maz clinging to her side

 

“We’re next.” She announces, inciting obligatory cheers from the crowd.

 

Louis doesn’t argue with her conviction.

 

He knew she probably snuck out just to be here after the mall incident yesterday so, he lets it slide. Liam has to fight through a mess of people just to get into the house now.

 

Louis kinda felt like a conductor on a party bus or something. All this had started because of him and he was the life of it all.

 

“You’re really good at this. Are you sure you’re a homeschooled freak?” Kendall asks him, appearing on one side of the table.

 

He feels a surge of pride from the backhanded compliment.

 

That was kind of her thing.

 

By the pool, he sees where Perrie and Glen were sharing a joint, missing all the action. He had no idea where Harry disappeared off too. The whole reason for him starting this was so he could get him to do one with him.

 

Body shots lead to kissing and nothing would move him conquest of Harry forward faster than that.

 

Everyone wanted Louis to do their shots. Everyone but the person Louis wanted to get to do it with. After doing a few more without a Harry insight, Louis passes the torch to Kendall who gladly accepts although, the crowd isn’t as pumped for Kendall as they were for Louis. He was just a bit more charismatic.

 

Louis goes inside to find Harry but runs into Liam and is suddenly reminded that Zayn ran away in tears.

 

“No one’s seen em anywhere and the truck is still outside!” Liam panics in front of him. Louis grasps his shoulders as people walk by around them as he yells over the music.

 

“Liam, you have to calm down. He’s probably just chilling out somewhere less nosey. I’m sure he’ll turn up before the night ends.” Louis tries to assure him but Liam isn’t hearing it.

 

“They were--” Liam closes his eyes. _“He_ was green and I think he was bleeding! He’s not supposed to drink too heavily, he could be really sick! I have to find him and make sure he’s alright.” He says, going off.

 

“Tell me if you find him!” Louis calls after him as he watches him makes his way back through the house, politely excusing himself around anyone in the way.

 

“Find who?” Harry’s voice wraps around his head. Louis turns around and smiles wide.

 

He’s never felt more elated to see someone.

 

He will admit that he was beginning to forget what Harry even looked like. That's what happens with crushes. Their faces sometimes disappear and seeing him up close again after what seemed like years of searching, his crush reignites full throttle.

 

“You!” He laughs, “ _Definitely_ you. I’ve been looking all over for you.”

 

Harry laughs as well and leans back against the wall beside them.

 

“I couldn’t tell. You seemed incredibly busy for the past hour.”

 

“Oh… so you’ve been watching me?” Louis teases. Harry runs his hand through his hair cooly

 

“ _Everyone’s_ been watching you.”

 

“Are you calling me an attention whore, babe?”

 

Harry nods sideways.

 

“Are you called that much?”

 

“No.” Louis shakes his head after thought.

 

“Not the attention part anyways.”

 

They have a moment of staring at each other, both smiling like they have some kind of non-existent inside joke going on here.

 

“So do you come here often?”

 

Louis actually pushes him laughing as his eyes squeeze close with Harry holding his arm, his dimples popping as he smiles like a giddy little kid.

 

“Sweetheart, that line is older than my grandfather!”

 

“Why are you such a pistol? Isn’t that how you make party conversation!”

 

“I wouldn't know… I’m kinda a virgin at this. I mean I was before but--”

 

_‘Why the hell am I telling him this?’_

 

Maybe he was drunk by association to it.

 

“Harry! Harry, come here!” A girl shouts from the dining room. Harry breaks the staring contest and looks behind him, then smiles

 

“Lou!” He yells

 

“Yeah?” Louis replies, brow furrowing. Harry laughs and motions for Louis to follow him

 

“Not you Lou, _other_ Lou.”

 

They come upon a pregnant girl that Louis had seen around school often. She’s got wicked pink hair and very elaborate makeup. Louis loves her already

 

“Lou, meet Louis. Louis, this is my good friend Louise.” Harry grins.

 

Louise and Louis bond over having the same name and she starts telling him about her baby

 

“Tom wants to name her Mary after his mum but, I like Lux.” Lou chirps, sipping wine from her glass.

 

“I thought Tom was gay?” Louis asks

 

“Should you be drinking alcohol?” Harry says to Lou, looking like he’s about to take her cup away.

 

“Not Tom _Harlock_. My boyfriend is out of school. I will be too in a few months. He works at a wine refinery.” Lou explains

 

“A glass of wine a day is fine during pregnancies. Just not hard liquor.” Louis says to Harry.

 

“Mum’s a nurse.”

 

Lou nods in agreement.

 

“Don’t mind him, Harry is an absolute _menace_.” Lou teases “He’s so doting. He treats me like an old woman”

 

Harry rolls his eyes.

 

“You’re exaggerating.”

 

Lou leans in closer to Louis, who is delighted to tease Harry.

 

“He’s obsessed with pregnant women.”

 

“I’m not _obsessed_ ,” he whines like an embarrassed child.

 

“Oh you’re totally obsessed aren’t you?” Louis joshes.

 

“He can’t wait to have kids.” Lou adds.

 

“I wouldn’t go that far…”

 

“I bet you’d be pregnant if you could.” Louis jokes and Harry does his glorious cackle, slapping his hand over his mouth immediately. Louis pulls his hands away from his face

 

“Don’t be embarrassed by your laughter,” he smiles “It’s a wonderful sound.”

 

At that moment of Harry and Louis smiling at each other, the room is seemingly empty and it’s just the two of them there. Liam chooses to come up to them just as Louis thinks he’s about to kiss him, the moment breaking… again.

 

Maybe a party wasn’t a great setting to make a move. There’s no intimacy here that lasts longer than 3 seconds.

 

Liam announces that he’s leaving with Zayn, leaving his car keys with Harry which puts Louis a little at ease and surprises him a even more to hear that Zayn was actually leaving with Liam.

 

It’s a delightful surprise. It makes him wonder if they’ll maybe finish up what they started out by the pool…

 

“What happened to Zayn?” Harry asks when Liam leaves

 

“He wants to fuck Liam again but is too chicken shit to do it.” He says simply, and Harry’s eyes bulge

 

“Never mind them. Do you want to dance?” Louis brushes off his surprised expression and begins pulling him back into the foyer before he can even answer.

 

Harry was a terrible dancer.

 

He had two left feet and couldn’t follow a beat to save his life but if Louis wanted to dance with him, he wasn’t gonna turn him down.

 

“Of course I want to dance.” He grins lazily and lets himself be lead into the epicentre of the party.

 

Most of the house was buzzed from doing shots, including Louis so, there wasn’t a tonne of coordinated dancing happening out here anyways, which made Harry feel a little better but Louis… he was pretty swift. He sways his hips slowly to the beat of the music. Harry goes about trying to keep up way too seriously as he watches his own feet with way too much focus.

 

Louis is dying laughing. This kid's two left feet were pointed into each other and it’s absolutely repulsive and he adores it.

 

“I really like this song!” He shouts in Louis’ ear, awkwardly doing a side step with his feet.

 

“[ AlunaGeorge, I Know You Like It ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWR9MR5juWI).” Louis tells him. Harry smirks.

 

“What?”

 

He thinks Louis is being cheeky.

 

Louis laughs, shaking his head.

 

“It’s the name of the song. Nevermind, here.”

 

He takes Harry’s hands and places them on his hips. Louis wraps his own arms around Harry’s neck and gets up on his tiptoes to reach his ear

 

 _“Try to relax, love.”_ he whispers. Harry nods dopily

 

 _“Okay.”_ he grins, tightening his grip on Louis’ sides, pulling him in closer by the loops on his swim trunks.

 

Louis hopes he isn’t coming on too strongly as he grinds into Harry because the grimy, sensual beat of AlunaGeorge is doing things to Louis that he can’t really help. Harry seems more than fine with it.

 

He’s burning holes into his eyes, his stare so heated. Louis can’t look away. They’re remarkably green up this close. Louis’ been picking up tricks from Zayn over the last month, that flirty thing he has in his eye. Louis’ sparkle a little as he dances with Harry, letting the music wash over him and a little grin tugs at the corners of Harry’s mouth. This was definitely happening.

 

He’s fucking Harry by the end of this party. He already broke the dam. Might as well fill it again.

 

“You know something I noticed about you?” Harry says as the song transitions into something a bit [ faster ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lb0JxcVt4VU).

 

“Is it how blue my eyes are?” Louis says, blinking fast as he flutters his lashes. Harry laughs.

 

“Yeah. And also how fast you move. It’s like you’re always a bit… inebriated.”

 

Louis bursts out laughing at his use of that word.

 

“Do you even know what that means? I haven’t had a single drink!”

 

“I guess not. I was trying to sound eloquent.”

 

“That’s cute.” Louis smirks before glancing towards the kitchen. This needed to move a bit faster.

 

“We could both stand to be a bit more inebriated if you want.” He looks at Harry again.

 

“Are you asking me for a drink?” Harry raises his eyebrows

 

“You have to _get_ us a drink first.” He smiles, lips brushing against Harry’s ear. Harry leans into it, nodding.

 

Louis thinks he’s picking up what he’s throwing down.

 

“Don’t go anywhere.” He says, then quickly goes off into the kitchen.

 

Louis feels high.

 

His heart doesn’t feel like it’s beating at all, which only freaks him out for a second before he feels his pulse and realises it’s just beating slower than usual. He still wasn’t used to the feeling… but he likes it. He liked that Harry did that to him.

 

He liked Harry. More than liked Harry. He suddenly finds that he doesn’t want to just hook up with him at this party. Sex was great but, he wanted more than that. He wants to actually get to know him before he decides to throw it back on him.

 

God he liked Harry enough to forget his fucking heart was beating. Behind him, Perrie walks by with a coffee mug in her hand, slight panic on her face.

 

“Hey, are you okay?” Louis stops her, looking her in the eye. She’s shaking.

 

“I’m trying to sober up a bit!” She yells over the music, gesturing to her mug.

 

“And I heard that Lima got into a fight outside, I’ve gotta find him!”

 

“A fight?!” Louis couldn’t imagine Liam hurting a fly. Yeah, he was kind of a tall and intimidating to look at but he came off more like a gentle giant once you heard him speak.

 

As Louis follows Perrie out to the front, she explains to him that Liam has a problem with blacking out and going ape-shit because of his temper. Like the hulk.

 

Louis _genuinely_ can not believe her until he sees that for himself.

 

There’s actually quite a few people out there…. And blood. But no Liam. Although, Louis thinks he can guess who Liam might’ve gotten into a fight with.

 

Calvin’s face is swelling and bleeding _terribly_. He looks like he just got run up on by Mike fucking Tyson.

 

He’s leaning up against a car with Josh handing him a towel to wipe his face with. Louis and Perrie watch from the door. Calvin hadn’t bothered Louis since his first day, mostly because he’d been hanging out with Kendall all the time and Kendall was really close with Calvin.

 

“Did you find my keys?” he barks angrily at Josh

 

“No. They’re inside somewhere.” Josh tries to explain but Calvin just shoves him out of his way in annoyance and marches up towards the house. When he sees Louis in the doorway, he scoffs in disgust.

 

“You fucking faggots are _everywhere_.” he grumbles, pushing Louis as he walks by. He stumbles a little but Perrie catches him.

 

“You don’t have to worry about Calvin.” She says as they go back inside

 

“He’s a homophobic psychopath but, after Liam beat the shit out of him a few years ago, he hasn’t bothered much of anyone since.”

 

Louis couldn’t believe they were talking about the same Liam here. It wasn’t _possible_.

 

“Why is Calvin still here? Isn’t he like 20 years old?”

 

“Yeah, he’s flunked a lot of classes. We’ll probably be out of here before him.” Perrie says, laughing. Louis shakes his head without sympathy.

 

“Homophobes make me want to _throw up._ ”

 

Perrie nods in agreement.

 

“Same.”

 

Suddenly, Louis is reminded of what Kendall said.

 

She was kind of homophobic too.

 

It didn’t matter how nice she was to him and Tom. They were just her accessories afterall. Whether Perrie was a lesbian or not shouldn’t give anyone the right to judge and ridicule her, or anyone for that matter.  

 

Louis looks at Perrie and smiles.

 

“What?” Perrie smiles back.

 

“Care to dance with the homo?”

 

Perrie laughs wide as Louis happily takes her hand and whisks her away to the middle of the dance floor. They throw their intertwined arms in the air and jump around together to the beat of the [ EDM music ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqQY9UkGC_A) blasting around them.

 

“Oh my God, I love this song!” Louis shouts.

 

“Me too! This is Zayn’s song!” She tells him,

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Zayn! He’s in a band with Melissa and Maz. This is Melissa singing, this is their song!”

 

A circle forms with them in the centre and he and Perrie can’t stop laughing. Suddenly they’re the centre of the entire party.

 

Louis prided himself in attracting people around him. It gets his heart pumping fast again and his gut aching from how hard they’re laughing together.

 

This was the most fun he’s had since he got here. Partying was for sure something he could get used to once he actually engaged. Everyone was drunk and it made them all want to dance. It’s only when he’s reminded that Harry went off to get him a drink that he stops moving a little, looking around the crowded room.

 

“Who are you looking for?” Perrie shouts, letting Louis twirl her around.

 

“Harry! He was supposed to bring me a drink ages ago.”

 

Perrie raises her eyebrows smirking.

 

“ _Really_?”

 

Louis nods.

 

“Maybe you should go get him and bring him to join our little dance cypher we’ve started here.”

 

Perrie was a pretty good dancer too. Louis’ hand wraps around her waist as they spin around laughing.

 

He nods again smiling as he pulls out of the cypher, heading towards the kitchen while Perrie carries on the partying.

 

It was so strange. Everything that was happening to him right now.

 

It was strange and _new_. Just like him at this school.

 

He’d never felt so drawn something in his life. Being here at this school and Harry. It was like, this was supposed to happen all along. This Harry guy had Louis feeling things he’d never felt before. Something seemed to reach down deep inside him and tie him down, calm his manic, pounding nerves. This could be, like, the real deal. Like those things you hear about in love songs and romance novels.

 

These thoughts are obliterated when he gets to the kitchen. The air feels like it’s been sucked out of his lungs all at once, leaving him to suffocate right there. The blood starts pounding painfully hard in Louis’ veins. So hard, it’s making him want to scream, or jump off a cliff or maybe even stab something.

 

Or someone.

 

And maybe that someone is Kendall fucking Jenner who has her tongue shoved down Harry’s throat as he presses her into the kitchen counter.

 

Louis can only stare, blanked face for what feels like years until Eleanor and Sophia block the view as they get more drinks. Louis spins on his heels, desperate to get out of the room. Out of the house. The air feels disturbingly thin as he pushes through the crowded foyer. He feels like he’s running out of oxygen and his vision is becoming cloudy.

 

“Louis? Louis what’s wrong?!” A panicked voice that sounds muffled barely breaks into his head.

 

Is it Perrie? Leigh-Anne? He can’t tell.

 

There’s too much fucking noise in this house. They grab onto him.

 

“Out--outside--” He wheezes as he realizes he’s hyperventilating.

 

It’s Lou. Other Lou.

 

She quickly helps Louis out of the house. Louis’ vision is still cloudy and he can’t figure out why until he feels the wetness on his cheeks from unwanted tears. They aren't sad tears, they're big, fat stress tears.

 

“Louis? Louis can you hear me?” Lou’s voice is clear as day now.

 

Louis nods quickly, breath coming out too fast to feel normal. He clutches her hand tightly. He knows exactly what’s happening,and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it. It’s like everything around him is moving in fast forward mode. This was without a doubt the worst part about having a heart that beat too fast. Hyperventilating was a full-proof way to send it into overdrive.

 

“Louis, listen to my voice” Lou says,calm and gentle. Louis nods again, unable to stop his breath from coming out in spurts

 

“Take a deep breath in,” she says soothingly and Louis does

 

“Now breathe out. Slowly. Keep doing it.”

 

He continues taking slow breaths in and out, holding Lou’s hand. They’re sitting on the front lawn. Louis feels like she’s trying to coax him through giving birth, probably from exercises she’s had herself.

 

“Hey!’ Lou shouts over Louis’ head “Can you get Perrie and tell her Lou is having an anxiety attack out here?”

 

Louis _wishes_ this were just an anxiety attack.

 

They sit there for a moment and Louis just keeps breathing, eyes screwed shut, comforted by the sound of Lou’s voice. When he opens his eyes, Lou, Perrie and a few other boys with blurred faces are all crouching over him, talking to each other trying to figure out what to do. He can’t hear a word of it though as the wave of unconsciousness he’d been expecting takes him away in the next instant.

 

Worst party ever.


	11. x. The Apocalypse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a world-ending betrayal, Louis has a breakthrough that leads to a plan to replace the Queen of Wellington Beach with a brand new, Fab Bitch. Meanwhile, Harry and Liam ponder their increasingly challenging love lives together.

 

 

 

 

**Harry pov**

 

**_Saturday, Pool party_ **

 

No, Harry couldn't dance for shit. When Louis tells him to follow his lead though, Harry still complies because Louis' hips did not lie.

 

He could be dancing circles around Harry, but Harry keeps him pulled up closely. He's not taking his eyes off this boy.

 

It was weird. Harry wasn't usually like this, not at a party and _definitely_ not with a guy.

 

Maybe not weird, Harry supposes. Just different, but in a good way.

 

Or maybe not a good different if he didn't stop grinding into Harry, making him feel like he was gonna bust in his jeans right then and there. The look Louis is giving him tells Harry he knows this. He tries to be cheeky and tell him how cool he is. The words get jumbled up and Harry says something entirely different than what he meant.

 

He sounds like he’s drunk when he hasn’t had a single drink. But being with Louis makes him feel like he has.

 

Harry was trying not to be the drunk, casual hook-up kind of guy anymore.

 

He’s trying to be the buy the girl dinner first and talk on the phone. Maybe skype. Kiss when he drops them off. And so on.

 

He’s the get attached so his heart can break kind of guy. The long-term, hopeless romantic kind.

 

Louis… doesn’t seem like he comes with attachments. And maybe Harry could really be into this.

 

Louis subtly asks Harry if he’s DTF as he asks for a drink and Harry goes off to find it, feeling like he's already delirious.

 

It takes everything in Harry to break away from Louis.

 

He quickly makes his way to the kitchen but when he gets a cup in his hand though, he realises he forgot to ask what he liked.

 

He’d like to know more about him than his drink of choice actually.

 

It was unbelievable how attached to him he's grown already. He barely knows anything about this kid and he already feels like walking away from him for more than even just 2 minutes is too long. It was like a drug. Not the depressing type he usually depended on. It was something else he couldn't quite explain. Like something he felt in a dream.

 

Maybe he can try asking Louis out properly instead of having an experimental, one time fling. He’d rather it be a little more intimate than a place like this.

  
He's about to go back to Louis and restart this with a clear head but, Kendall enters the kitchen and traps Harry behind the counter as she smiles sweetly.

 

Harry gulps.

 

He'd managed to to avoid coming into contact with her and her perky breasts for a month, ignoring her texts and calls from a few weeks ago about wanting to talk about what happened at her party. Harry had been getting a few flashbacks from the night but, still nothing that had Kendall in them.

  
"Ello gov't nor." she chirps in an almost offensive accent.

 

Harry looks her up and down.

 

“Didn’t anyone tell you this was a pool party?” He jokes with her, earning a loud laugh and a hit in his chest.

  
She crowds up in his space after like she's telling him a secret.

  
"I've been meaning to talk to you," she says in a hushed tone, eyeing the people around taking notice of them.

  
Harry sets down the cup and takes a deep breath. He couldn't avoid this forever.

  
"I know." He says and she looks momentarily caught off guard

  
"...you know?" She questions. Harry nods.  

  
"Yeah, and I'm really sorry. I know I haven't returned your call but, I was just a little... scared." He says honestly.

  
Kendall face is completely blank.

  
  
"I don't even remember that night. I completely blacked out."

  
Her expression remains clean of any emotion with dead eyes, something she did often that Harry always found a bit unnerving.

  
"What do you mean?"

  
"I mean I don't remember really any of it."

  
She finally breaks out of that blank face and looks confused.

  
  
"You mean you don't remember coming to my house?" She asks.

  
  
"No, I remember walking in and I remember leaving. Nothing in between."

  
"But you slept over--"

  
“Yeah, I know.” Harry shakes his head.

  
  
"I went and got tested at a clinic. I didn't know if we..." he trails off and it finally clicks for Kendall what the hell he's talking about.

  
  
"I got tested too." She says suddenly. Harry's heart skyrockets.

  
  
"You did?"

  
"I took the morning after and everything. I don't think we have anything to worry about, even though we didn't have a condom." She says with a small but reassuring smile. Harry doesn't feel reassured at all.

"We didn’t use a--"

  
"Oh my god!" She looks horrified "You don't remember anything about the talk we had?"

  
Harry shakes his head slowly.

  
  
"Wait... what did we talk about?" He asks, heart beating wildly, trying not to let panic rise in his voice.

 

Kendall's eyes look beyond Harry for a moment as her dead eyes focus on something behind them as something dark flickers in them. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, she's pushing her tongue into Harry's mouth and holding his hands over her tits and makes him squeeze them.

 

Harry used to think it was the softest thing in the entire world, holding them in his hands. Sucking them into his mouth. Fucking bewteen them with his dick and giving her a pearl necklace in return. But right now, it’s the most invasive attack of affection he’s ever felt in his life.

 

Harry is so caught off guard, he doesn't get a chance to react right away. She's leaning back against the counter, almost pulling Harry on top of her until Harry finally breaks away with a gasp after her attack, pushing off her chest.

  
"What the fuck are you _doing?"_ He stammers.

  
" _You_ broke up with _me_ . Over TEXT."

  
Kendall looks like she's about to cry.

  
  
"You come to a party that you know is at MY house, beg me to take you back, have sex with me and then ignore me for an entire month?!" She nearly shouts. Harry's eyes bulge. Her flux of emotion are giving him whiplash.

  
"No! I-- I'm not--" he honestly doesn't even know he's trying to say. Kendall is sobbing now. Harry wraps her up in his arms.

  
"No, please don't do that." He tries to soothe her

  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do all that, I just blacked out. None of what you just said has any connections in my mind. It’s all gone."

  
Kendall looks up at him through wet false eyelashes

  
"So you don't want to get back together anymore?"  

  
Harry shakes his head quickly.

  
"No! I never said I didn't!" He rushes, then pulls her away so he can look her in the eye

  
"Is that what you want?" He asks her calmly. She sniffs

  
"Harry, I love you."

  
The words feel like a slap in the face to Harry. Like, he would literally rather her backhand him at that moment.

  
"I-- you too." He stammers again. He doesn't know what the fuck is happening.

  
She smiles happily and hugs Harry. He hugs her back but, it doesn't feel right. This whole lapse in memory thing is really fucking him up more than ever.

 

He _asked_ for this. He should be happy. He's been wanting this for the last like 6 or so months. But that was Harry a month ago. Now, something is different. Totally different. So different, he feels like a stranger hugging kendall.

 

All he knows for sure is, even including the Harry from 6 months ago, he feels way worse than he did when Kendall dumped him if that was even fucking possible.

  
"Harry!" Lou yells from the doorway. She was always yelling for him. Now was not a good time.

  
" _What_ Louise?" he stops when he sees the panic all over her face

  
“Come quickly, it’s Louis!" Is all she says before waddling away.

  
Harry immediately breaks away from a confused Kendall and follows Lou through the house outside. People are crowding around the front porch. When he gets through them all, he sees Louis sprawled out peacefully in front of Perrie. He looks asleep.

  
  
"Whats going on?" He asks. Perrie looks up with tears in her eyes.

  
  
"He was freaking out and he just passed out." Lou explains.

 

"We should take him to a hospital!" someone suggests

  
“No, I think we should get him some really strong alcohol. The smell usually wakes you up if you faint." Glen chimes and everyone ridicules him for such a stupid suggestion.

  
  
"Guys, Louis is unconscious! We need to call someone." Perrie says back.

 

They all start arguing about what to do until Harry's brain finally forms real words.

  
  
"Listen to me!" He yells over all of them, silencing everyone.

  
  
"I have a car and I'm like the only person here who isn’t completely fucked up. We're gonna put him in Liam’s car and take him home. And Louis has a heart condition. When he passes out, he’ll just wake up confused. His mother is a nurse and she’s really cool, she’ll know what to do with him. He passes out all the time. The hospital is totally unnecessary. If he goes, they'll test his vitals and know he's been drinking heavily and we'll ALL be in big trouble when he wakes up. I just need someone to come with me that knows where he lives."

  
Everyone looks at each blankly.

 

Great. No one knows.

 

Just goes to show how wrong rumours really were because no one knows where he really lives.

  
“I’ll take him."

 

Everyone looks back at the front door of the house where Tom is standing with Niall behind him.

 

“I know where his house is and I have a car,” he walks out of the house, to Niall’s confusion.

 

“So do I.” Harry stands in front of him.

 

 _“But you don’t know where he lives.”_ Tom says slowly and Harry narrows his eyes at him.

 

“Well if you gave me the address, I guess we’d _both_ know.”

 

They have a brief stare off and it becomes clear to everyone that this is less about Louis getting home and more about who’s going home _with_ him.

 

“Guys!” Perrie yells at them as she stands up.

 

“ _Louis_ needs attention, I’M going home with him. I don’t care who drives!”

 

They help get Louis into Tom’s car, putting him in the backseat of the Escalade with his head in Perrie's lap. Melissa and her boyfriend jump in as well since she lives in the same neighbourhood.

 

“I’m coming too!” Harry runs back inside to get Liam’s keys, running into Kendall on the way.

  
"I have to take a friend home, he’s all messed up. We'll talk later, yeah?" He says hurriedly, already running out the door before Kendall can even blink.

  
He's shocked to find they’re gone when he gets back.

 

So much for waiting.

  
  
Thinking about what just happened terrified him to be honest. No one knows what happened to make Louis pass out like that and they were all a little shaken over the entire thing.

 

If something had of actually happened to Louis... Harry didn't even want to think about it. He didn't want to think about anything with the party now. It was all perfect until Kendall cornered him. Everything just spiraled after that.

  
  
Harry leaves to drop Liam's car off and he finds himself laying on Liam's bed, recounting the entire evening like he’s talking to a therapist.

  
"It’s like, everything happened all at once. First, I'm dancing with Louis, feeling high off life, then I'm getting back together with Kendall, then Louis is fucking passed out on Leigh-Anne's front lawn! One atomic bomb going off after another."

  
Liam nods from his desk, face glued to his computer screen with headphones on as he was listening to music.

  
"So you think you're doubting getting back with Kenny?" He asks. Even though it looked like he wasn't listening, he was.

Harry rubs his hands over his face roughly.

  
"I don't know. I was _in love_ with her. Those feelings don't just go away right?"

  
Liam shrugs.

  
  
"I think they would if they had a good enough reason to"

  
Harry thinks about that.

  
"Well, she fucking destroyed me and I was still just waiting around for myself to wake up from a horrible nightmare. Like, one day, I'd wake up and be in a reality where Kendall hadn't ended my entire world like the fucking apocalypse."

  
"Reality doesn't work like that Haz."

  
  
"I know! I'm just saying.” Harry rolls his eyes with his disheveled, curly fringe catching in his lashes.

 

“Afterall that, I thought I'd never be over her. Up until like a month ago. After--"

  
"After Louis showed up?" Liam finishes for him.

  
"I was gonna say after I blacked out but. Yeah, I guess that's kind of the same thing. It’s like my feelings just… rearranged or something."

  
"So you fancy Louis?"

  
  
The question makes Harry feel flutters in his stomach.

  
  
"I... don't know, it’s weird. I've never felt... _stuff_ ... for a guy. Not like this. I don’t want to jump into something else on the rebound."

  
"It’s not weird Harry." Liam tuts "It's new. And perfectly normal. It’s been half a year. You have a right to move on."

  
"I didn't mean weird," Harry sits up on Liam's bed then

  
"You know that feeling you get when you get something you've never had before, and when it leaves, you realise something's been missing the whole time but you didn't even know it was missing and you'd do anything to get it back. Like it's suddenly like you need this _thing_ you never knew you didn't have."

  
Liam looks back at him, puzzled

  
"Not sure if I know the feeling.” He says with furrowed brows before he nods to the side with a small smile.

 

“But it sounds fascinating."

  
"Well, that's how I felt when Louis showed up.” Harry sighs.

 

“I'd been moping around for months, hung up on Kendall and feeling worthless. Then here comes this guy.” He smiles now.

 

“This hilarious, brilliantly radiant guy that just fell out of the sky like the fucking sun goes and makes me feel stuff I don't even I’m feeling. Like, maybe this broken thing I've been dragging around inside me all this time hasn't been broken at all. It was just missing something."

  
"I think the something you're trying to get at here is happiness, bud." Liam smiles. Harry blinks.

  
"Happiness. Yeah. I feel... happy."

  
It’s a genuinely unfamiliar feeling. He doesn’t think he's actually ever said that before.

  
"Louis makes me feel happy."

  
He says it again, smiling.  
  
  
"Even without tits to fuck?"

  
Harry throws a pillow at Liam, laughing.

  
  
"Piss off. This is actually really fucking weird-"

  
"New." Liam says, tossing the pillow back on the bed and immersing back into his computer.

  
"So, the question now is: What about Kendall?"

  
Harry's happy thoughts about Louis morph into confused and conflicted anxiety about Kendall.

  
"That's a _great_ question."

  
"Then let’s answer it. You fancy Louis." Liam spins back around in his chair towards Harry again.

  
Harry nods.

  
“I guess."

  
"This is a yes or no thing Harry."

  
  
"Okay! Yes I like Louis." Saying it out loud made him smile.

  
"I _really_ like Louis."

 

He actually couldn’t remember Louis’ face right now. Just blue eyes and soft pixie hair, the official sign that this is a real crush.

 

That faceless ghost he always flew with that would haunt his dreams later.

  
"That’s great. Do you still love Kendall?"

  
"Wow." Is all Harry says, slumping back down

  
"What a loaded question. Do you have a loaded gun too?"

  
"Yes or no."

  
"I did at one point. I don't know of I actually know what love is though. Clearly. I couldn't even express what happiness was."

  
"Fine, I'll make it easier. Do you still want _to be_ _with_ Kendall."

That one wasn't much easier. Harry sighs

  
"I don't know."

  
"Then you should tell Kendall that until you sort out your feelings.” Liam says simply, turning back around.

 

“That'd be better than never figuring it out and then going on to cheating on her emotionally later or any form of cheating, really. If you jungle two people at once, you’ll just end up hurting someone, trust me."

  
  
"Okay Mr. Love Guru." Harry says, standing up and walking over to Liam’s bookcase.

  
  
"I'm definitely not a love doctor. I don’t know why you’re not talking to Niall about all this stuff anyways. He’s way more experienced with love triangles than anyone.”

 

Harry picks up a reddish pink rose sitting in a vase on the shelf among a dozen others.

 

“Niall would just tell me to dump Kendall and get laid,” Harry snorts, rolling his eyes. That’s not what he wants to do right now.

 

“You’re much better at romance anyways.” He says as he feels the rose petals delicately.

 

“Don’t know what gave you _that_ idea…” Liam mumbles to himself.

 

“I’m just as fucked up as you are. You’re asking the blind to lead the blind.”

 

Harry laughs. Maybe he was right. Sure, Liam was also the helplessly romantic type who was just more sure of himself than Harry was but romance didn’t seem to work out well for either of them.

 

“They’re rose berries. Grew them myself.” Liam says, referring to the flowers. Harry was sure he could expect to see one again in Zayn’s mailbox tomorrow at school with some nice note attached.

 

Liam walks over and gives him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. They both gaze at the rose for a moment, both their hearts aching just a bit, stuck in their own shitty romance dramas.

 

The red rose was beautiful. Love… well that was a little bit torturous. They were too young to be this way.

 

“You’ll be alright Harry. Whatever you decide to do, I’m sure it’ll work out for you. You deserve to be happy just like anyone else.”

 

It’s exactly what Harry would expect Liam to say and it only reiterates how great Liam is to talk to about literally anything.

 

“Thanks Li. I think I’m gonna head home. Take a shower. Have a wank. Sort through my head. You know, the essentials.”

 

Liam nods

 

“Brilliant plan. I go through my deepest thoughts while having a wank.”

 

Harry laughs and pushes Liam’s hand off his shoulder in mock disgust

 

“Gross.”

 

“Hey, you brought it up. Do you want me to drive you home?” Liam says, picking up his jacket before Harry even answers.

 

He didn’t have to. He wasn’t into the idea of walking home in the middle of the night alone.

 

On the ride, they discuss their plans for tomorrow on Sunday.

 

Liam tells Harry while he’d found his tutor, tomorrow he and Liam could have a study day which sounded like a perfect plan.

 

“No Niall though. He’d just convince us to play fifa.” Harry says, regretfully recalling how studying with Niall has been going

 

“He’ll be hungover all day after the body shot frenzy happened anyways.” Liam shrugs, and Harry grins.

 

“Oh, he’ll be busy all day tomorrow.”

 

They both laugh at that.

 

Niall and Tom would be hooking up all night then spend the entire next day hanging out, doing things like watching movies or eating out at obscure fast food joints they’d expect not to see anyone they knew at… generally things that undercover couples do, as they have been for the last 4 years. The fact that no one else was ever invited just proves they were dates.

 

“I wish he’d just admit that he and Tom are dating.” Harry sighs.

 

It gets really quiet then in a way Harry finds it to be a little awkward. Liam looks a little off.

 

Distant eyes full of distant thoughts.

 

“Are you alright?” Harry asks tentatively.

 

“Can I ask you something?” he responds with, eyes forward and far away as he drives.

 

“Go ahead.” Harry swallows.

 

“Did you know about Niall and Zayn sleeping together?”

 

Tense silence

 

“Where’d you hear that?” Harry tries, careful not to outright admit that Niall comes to him all freaked out every time it happens. Liam had a scary short temper. He didn’t want to upset him.

 

“Zayn. At the party. I overheard them…. _Fighting_ in the kitchen.”

 

Liam’s face isn’t angry or sad. He was being eerily calm. Harry lets out a heavy breath. Liam was bound to find out at some point. He was actually surprised it had taken this long.

 

“It doesn’t mean anything.” He says.

 

“So you _did_ know.” Liam laughs “This whole time… my supposed best-friend… ”

 

Liam’s voice is shaking as he talks, his bruised knuckles gripping the wheel so hard, they almost look white.

 

Whatever he heard or saw Niall and Zayn doing at that party that has him looking like Niall's been added to his hitlist next… oh God.

 

“Liam, we’re talking about Zayn and Niall here. Think about that. Sex to them… it doesn’t mean anything at all. It’s like a game to them.”

 

“Well that's not _all_ he does to Zayn when he doesn't think I'm around!” Liam rises his voice for just a split second before he catches himself and shakes his head.

 

“No wonder he fucking hates me. If I’d know my so-called “friends” had been hurting him this entire fucking time--”

 

“Please don’t be angry, it just sort of _happened,_ ” Harry isn’t sure why he’s trying to explain for them. He’s still guilty. But it isn’t his job to explain Niall’s actions. Or Zayn’s.

 

“Harry, I’m not talking about you.” Liam sighs.

 

“I'm just trying to convince myself not to go and end Niall's life right now.”

 

He says it with a laugh like he's joking but Harry can tell just from the look in his eye that's he's dead serious. It makes Harry wonder what exactly he saw that's made him this close to having an enraged outburst on Niall's head and not _Zayn's._

 

“Honestly, I just wish people would _tell_ _me_ when fucked up things happen. I don’t expect anything from Ze. They wouldn’t tell anyone anything was wrong even if their _life_ depended on it. But I tell you guys _everything_. I just feel like an idiot about it all now.” he says, solemnly.

 

They’re at Harry’s house now. It feels so awful to end on such a sour note.

 

“Liam, you know I tell you everything too. That isn’t fair. It wasn’t my place to tell you something like that. I’m sorry _Niall_ didn’t tell you.”

 

“You know, just forget it. It’s not your fault or problem. I shouldn't have brought it up at all.” Liam breathes out as the car stops.

 

“After yesterday, I thought things were getting better but this whole day has just been way more than I asked for.”

 

Harry looks at him feeling like an ass when he’s only just realising how exhausted and drained Liam looks. He’d been talking about nothing but himself the entire time he was at Liam’s house without even bothering to ask how Liam was doing.

 

Obviously, he had a lot on his mind too. He’d taken Zayn home, right?

 

Harry asks him how that went and a blush deepens on his face as he goes red all over.

 

“Oh my God, you _didn’t_ ,” Harry grins when Liam shoots him raised brows.

 

Which means… they totally finished what they started at the pool.

 

He only tells Harry that they talked about getting back together and decided it was best to do this thing sober and that they were meeting on Monday to “talk” again with clear heads, which Harry takes as talk without drunkenly sucking each other off.

 

He’s seen Zayn get pretty dirty. He knew how “talking” went when he was drunk.

  
"You're right. It's not your burden to tell me what other people do.” Liam gets back into the previous topic.

 

“I know you wouldn't keep something like that from me if it actually affected our life negatively, right?" He asks, smiling with sad eyes.

  
Harry swallows. He knew way too much about Zayn that actually did affect Liam's life at this point that he's been keeping from him. It was about time Liam knew the truth. Whatever he does with it, at least he wouldn't still be left in the dark. Well, he would to a certain degree but, the least amount of secrets there were the better.

  
"Actually, there's something else you should know." Harry starts. Liam's eyebrows raise

  
"That powder Leigh-Anne always gives you for free, Sophie?"

  
"Yeah… I'm actually gonna lay off of drugs for a while. Possibly for good."

  
Harry's brows shoot up this time as he smiles

  
"Really?"

  
Liam nods.

 

  
"That's... really good! Why the sudden change?"

  
Liam shrugs.

 

He almost relied on the stuff. Sometimes when he wasn't even partying. It always worried Harry and Niall. They thought he was becoming dependent on it and would end up like one of those basket cases in rehab. Or worse.

 

Harry spent enough time xanned out in his room to know depending on drugs is like walking around with a crutch for a perfect pair of legs. Harry supposes he knows why he took it now.

 

As far as Liam knows, drugs and alcohol was the only way he could talk to Zayn for the last year. They probably haven’t had a sober conversation in so long, Harry understood the addiction, considering he does the same thing for different reasons.

  
"I've just recently decided I was gonna face my demons in person, sober from now on."

  
Harry nods in total understanding. He seemed to be pulling himself together. Talking things about with Zayn, sober. Ending the substance abuse before it got out of control. Liam Payne, always the model citizen.

 

Liam can tell Harry is about to start asking a bunch of questions so, he stops him before he can.

 

“We’ll see each other and catch up on everything tomorrow. You're gonna flip out when I tell you what happened to me today. ” Liam says before Harry could ask.

 

“We’re still on for tomorrow right?” Harry asks, just to make sure. Liam nods, smiling a little

 

“It’s a date.”

 

Harry smiles as he gets out of the car.

 

“Right. We’ll catch up properly tomorrow.”

 

“Love you!” Liam shouts from his window as Harry makes his way to his door.

 

Harry returns it, laughing to himself. He wishes he could be half as cheery as Liam was. Even when he was having a shit day, he still always smiled and know what he was doing.

 

If only his own life was as put together as Liam’s.

 

Inside, Harry makes it for dinner and he tells his family all about his day, excluding the Kendall and Louis thing. He doesn’t want them worrying more about him anymore than they already do.

 

Sunday goes by smoothly, if only because he gets back into his habit of burying himself in someone else’s problems, which Liam seemed to have an _ample_ amount of with his whole Zayn situation.

 

He seemed to be certain they were getting back to a stable place tomorrow which Harry couldn't be anything but happy for him as he was a bright ball of sunshine while talking about his plans.

 

After studying and talking nonstop about how confusing their love lives are, Liam comes out with Harry on the football field with their friend Andy as they ran around kicking the ball between each other.

 

It was a good exercise to practise and clear their minds. It actually ended up being another weekend that started crazy and ended on a good note.

 

For the first time, he was starting to like party weekends. Ever since Louis arrived, the weeks just seemed easier to get through.

 

He went home and found himself calling him just to say hi and make sure he was doing alright after everything but, he doesn't return Harry's call all.

 

It leaves him feeling a little queasy inside.

 

He suddenly couldn't shake the feeling that there was a mighty shit storm awaiting him at Wellington after this crazed weekend.

 

Later on that night, Harry gets a text from Kendall about going to the winter formal together. Of course Harry hadn’t planned on going but, that was before Kendall popped back into his life.

 

He doesn’t answer it. The morning after, he wakes up with morning sickness.

 

An awful, rotten feeling in his gut ahead of the day makes him throw up at least 3 times before breakfast.

 

Monday would end up being the most chaotic day of Harry's entire life. And he wasn't the only one.

 

Someone was throwing another party.

 

*

 

**Louis pov**

 

**_Sunday_ **

 

Waking up from working your heart into submission was just a horrible as it sounds. Louis had woke from these dozens of times and it’s always excruciatingly exhausting just the same as the last time. Like his heart is recovering from being punched by Floyd Mayweather.

 

He’s in his bedroom where it’s pitch black and leaving him with no idea of how he got home but he does know his body has that familiar ache of crying and dying a little inside.

 

He gets up anyways, ignoring his protesting limbs. Downstairs, his mummy is watching shit TV on mute, alone in their quietly massive living room as the lights flicker through the hallway like someone is being electrocuted in there.

 

Normally, the empty sound of it would’ve been sort of nice to the ambience. But Louis is so angry, even flickering lights are pissing him off.

 

It’s 3 AM but he makes a loud fuss of getting himself cereal anyways, mixing 3 different brands into one bowl.

 

Jay scoots into the kitchen with bunny slippers and a smile soon after when she hears the noise Louis is making.

 

“You alright love?” She asks him, smiling softly as she sits next to him on their island and swivels into the chair.

 

 _“No.”_ He grumbles with a full mouth, shovelling cereal in before he’s even swallowed the first spoonful.

 

“I can tell. You’ve mixed your angry brands together.” She chuckles, getting a spoon and helping herself to Louis’ concoction as they share mixed cereal.

 

For a while, they eat in silence and watch the lights flicker down the hall like they’re watching a show together and it should be nice. Time with any of his family was always something he cherished but, his time with Jay was _always_ his happy time no matter what the deal was, like happy hour at a bar.

 

He remembers when he was about 5 years old after his mother came home from class, she’d put him in a bath and clean him for bed while telling Louis about her day and enjoying hearing about his in return. They’d talk about boys and girls he met, practice talking in the language of whatever country they were in together, talk about aliens and Prada. Just anything imaginable and it had become his happy hour of the day even nearly 12 years later.

 

They hadn’t had one in a while now since they moved to London and he hates everything that’s making it the opposite as he wishes his mother would’ve stayed with the mute TV.

 

Obviously sensing the tension, words finally break the silence again.

 

“Tell us what happened.”

 

“What a loaded request.” He mutters. “You might as well have given me a gun and suggested I pull the trigger under my chin.”

 

“That bad?”

 

Louis nods.

 

“What do you want to hear about first? How I found my dream guy, passed out right after at my first party ever and probably embarrassed myself in front of him and everyone there?” He rolls his eyes as Jay runs her hand through his hair.

 

He wasn’t sure if this was a byproduct of having young parents or if was just a Tomlinson thing but he never failed to tell his parents almost every detail of his life like you would your best friend, even if he didn’t want to talk about it.

 

Despite everything, there was no one he’d rather rant to than his mother.

 

“You’ve made some very lovely friends.” She tells him. “They must be crazy about you to have so many bring you home safely. You must know how much they care about you, but that’s never a question right?”

 

Louis would’ve agreed and said everyone _obviously_ loves him because, duh, he’s Louis. But he only shrugs instead of telling her that’s a goddamn lie.

 

Friends don’t stab you in your back the second they see you turn around.

 

He suddenly feels for Julius Caesar.

 

He can still remember what sent him into overdrive. He tells her everything that happened with Harry and Kendall without using their names. How this girl friend of his knew how much he liked this guy but she still went and snogged his face off right in _Louis’_ face and the way he freaked out watching and Jay listens attentively.

 

After some thought, she agrees. She tells Louis that this friend isn’t a friend but probably a big bitch who needs a knock off her tits which makes Louis laugh really hard as he spits out his cereal.

 

God, he loves Jay. She sounds like Perrie, who kind of reminds him of his mother as well.

 

He should’ve listened to Perrie all along.

 

He finally knows why they call it having a crush. Everything you have in your fucking chest gets crushed and collapses. Especially his heart. He really thought him and Harry might’ve gone somewhere beyond the dance floor. So much for that.

 

Jay cuddles Louis into her, petting his wild hair down as hers fell over his cheeks in light brown waves like the feathers of an angel caressing him, that soothing thing only she could ever make him feel, safe inside her arms.

 

It did make him feel better, her heartbeat against him. The first heart he’d ever known before his own fucked up one. It must’ve reminded his body of a time when that sound was the rhythm of his original home because an overwhelming feeling he can’t quite describe suddenly washes over.

 

Louis sniffs, refusing to cry over something as silly as a boy. Although, Harry wasn’t just some random person Louis wanted to sleep with because he thought he was cute.

 

He felt stuff for Harry. Deep stuff that was squeezing his chest too hard.

 

Maybe it hurt a little more that he actually thought Kendall was his friend. It was after he wrapped his arms around Jay and hugged her back that he realised he was really crying, embarrassment, anger and hurt crushing his body all at once like being jumped by a mob surrounding him and taking baseball bats to his guts.

 

He needed her to tell him it was okay and she did, over and over. He felt dumb to be crying over this but Jay kept telling him it was okay to cry until he couldn’t cry anymore. That even perfect boys cried at the sight of an imperfect world.

 

He didn’t know what the tears were there for more; how much he hated this feeling or how much he loved Jay and her touch and words that made everything feel okay even when it wasn’t.

 

Louis didn’t give a shit about the whole “social construct” at first. But now, he wanted _everyone_ to know exactly what Kendall Jenner was.

 

Later on that Sunday afternoon after not getting any more sleep, Louis goes to Zayn’s house feeling even more wired and also strangely horny.

 

Zayn wasn’t in a condition to rock his world and fuck the sadness out of him though. He was still hungover from the day before but Louis ended up not wanting to have sex when he got inside the house anyways as little girls were practically crawling all over the walls like ants, little cousins and sisters filling the house to the very max. He adored all of them, the feeling they filled this house with, something he felt at home being inserted into.

 

The only place they could hang right now was in Zayn’s room where Louis needed both Perrie and Zayn’s help if he wanted to really show Kendall’s conniving ass that she’d screwed her last victim.

 

Perrie wasn’t at all surprised when Louis told her what happened but she extremely over the moon to see a pissed off Louis ready to all but rip out the heart of her arch enemy.

 

“I was LITERALLY _this close,_ ” he makes a pinching gesture with his fingers as he paces in the room.

 

“ _This fucking close_ to maybe making a move and TRUST ME, he was fucking enjoying it! But if only you’d seen how Kendall was all OVER him the minute I turned my back!” He angrily throws his arms up.

 

He’d never felt this feeling before. Everything around him looked red and there was this angry lump in his throat like after you dry swallow a big pill.

 

Maybe he was a little delirious from the sleep deprivation he’s had since moving here but one thing he couldn’t deny right now:

 

He _hates_ Kendall Jenner.

 

“She took him back.” He repeats for the 30th time today. “Kendall took Harry _back_.”

 

“Christ, _we know._ Please scream it louder. _”_ Zayn groans in his bed, slightly annoyed as he holds his brains in on his pillow.

 

“Why would she do that?”

 

“Because she’s a life ruiner.” Perrie answers behind him. “She ruins people’s lives.”

 

 _“Why are we yelling?”_ Zayn’s muffled voice begs them from under his duvet.

 

“She’s _not_ getting way with this!” Louis announces, loud as ever.

 

Zayn laughs this time, looking up from his bed as he watches Louis pace like a grumpy dwarf. Louis glares at him.

 

“You think this is funny, do you?” He challenges. Zayn only smiles, putting his hands up innocently.

 

“No, Lou Lou. I feel for you mate, I really do. Honest. But you need to realise that it takes two to Tango and those two are very familiar with _tangling_. On the back, on the face, up the bum. You name it, they’ve had it.”

 

He gives his fingers a patronising wiggle as he sticks his index finger into a hole, in and out and swirls around deep inside his other hand, grinning at Louis’ disgusted face.

 

“His dick had her guts for lunch everyday for a year.”

 

“You’re not helping!”

 

“You’re also positively cute when you’re angry.”

 

“What should I _do?”_

 

“Aside from obviously doing _Harry_ better than Candle does, just spray some rose water on your face, drink a soy latte and get a nice, long, pink dick in you to take your mind off things and you’ll be fine, I promise. It’s called compartmentalising, darling. Like SZA says, ‘Don’t take it personal. Do it for fun’.”

 

“I guess I should pop a Valium while I’m at it according to you?”

 

“Try ambien. Much more relaxing.”

 

Louis’ scowl deepens. Do Harry. Moisturise and drink Starbucks then fuck someone _else_. Zayn had to be about the worst person to give advice Louis had ever seen.

 

“OH MY FUCKING GOD!” Perrie exclaims from the bean bag chair, across the room.

 

Louis and Zayn both look over and ask what happened as she claps her hand over her mouth and shows them her phone screen.

 

“Melissa Steel posted this on her twitter last night.” She says.

 

Louis can see it’s a video. Zayn jumps out of his bed and snatches the phone from Perrie with a horrified shriek.

 

“5.5 thousand retweets and counting.”

 

“She fucking recorded it?!?” He yells in anger.

 

It would’ve been Louis’ turn to laugh at his emotions but, he’d totally forgot about Liam and Zayn getting it on, on that table and is abruptly reminded of how much he’d pay to watch their sex tape as he looks at them together.

 

It’s a 30 second clip of Liam licking up Zayn’s bare chest and then having sex with their mouths in a very wet, very raw and very _dirty_ oral exchange. He’s surprised they didn’t set fire to the table with all that alcohol dripping off their skin like they were both soaked with the lust-scented sweat of two thirsty boys.

 

There is not a question if these two want each other. Their erections are one step away from sword fighting to the death.

 

Maybe Zayn doesn’t want Liam but he sure wants the taste of him.

 

“She’s not the only one. Eleanor and Barbara got some of it from a different angle. And a few others.”

 

“Can you send those to me as well?” Louis requests, which makes Perrie laugh as she nods yes.

 

Zayn couldn’t blush harder. He throws Perrie’s phone back to her and jumps in bed, hiding his face

 

“Let me see it again.” Louis replays the video, happy to laugh at Zayn’s shame after he made fun of Louis.

 

“I can’t believe I missed it!” Perrie pouts.

 

“Too bad. That was so fucking hot in person….” Louis murmurs. He can’t stop watching it. A flying pillow hits an unexpecting Louis in the face

 

“That’s enough of that.” Zayn growls at them. “I’m not a porn star.”

 

“What’s wrong with pornstars? You’d honestly be a pro and that’s a compliment.” Louis teases him, earning another pillow to the face which he catches this time

 

“Are you challenging me to a pillow fight?” He asks, smirking

 

“Or maybe I’m telling you to _fuck off._ ”

 

Louis pretends to think for a moment.

 

“Hmmm… I think I’ll take the latter.”

 

He pounces on top of Zayn, trying to smother him with the pillow. Zayn complains that Louis is hurting him, being hungover and having a splitting headache so Louis relents.

 

Just when he does, Zayn starts smothering him back, making Louis beg him the same way he did last night. When he had Louis panting on his back and tapping out.

 

Eventually, the pillows get thrown to the floor and the covers kicked off the bed and it’s just Louis straddling Zayn, pillow fight escalating into full on wrestling.

 

Perrie walks over to the bed with her hands on her hips, confusion all over her face.

 

“Why do boys feel the need to fight each other all the time?” She says over them, shaking her head.

 

“Do testosterone outbursts really do this much damage to your self-control?”

 

“Bitch, you have more testosterone in your body than _me_ so _,_ please simmer down.” Zayn still manages to rebuttal even in action.

 

They continue to rough house, falling off the bed and onto the floor in the process and it’s last night all over again in the battle for who’s going to be on top.

 

Again, it’s Zayn. He showed Louis that it will _always_ be Zayn. But this time, he gets tired too fast. Even when Louis pins him on his back, Zayn still dominates him with his strong arms.

 

He easily regains the upper hand, pulling Louis down on top of him in a headlock, making his bum stick up in the air that Zayn spanks as Louis screams and laughs, failing to wigle free.

 

Louis’ face is right next to Zayn’s neck and there’s nothing else he can do to get out of his grip so, his tongue darts out and he licks up Zayn’s exposed throat and it succeeds in making him let go of Louis with another girly shriek.

 

“Are we animals, then?” He says but Louis glowers at him, eyes sparkling mischievously.

 

“Absolutely.” Louis cheeses with his eyebrows dancing.

 

“I think they call this an animal attraction.”

 

“I think they call this any excuse to _touch_ me.”

 

“Well, I’m sort of in love with you so, can you blame me?”

 

The joking stops as the words leave before he even knows it as Zayn’s eye widen a little, as do Louis’. And everything freezes.

 

As he’s sitting on his stomach with his face inches away from Zayn’s at the moment, they stare at each other in silence and it isn’t clear if they’re about to make out or continue fighting to anyone that’s watching.

 

They’re doing neither. Because Louis just admitted that he’s in love with touching him and _meant_ it and his body feels like a solid block of ice.

 

“I didn’t mean that l’m l-like _in_ love w-with you. Like _that,_ ” He starts to backtrack.

 

“I mean, I am! I mean, I _do!_ Love you-- because w-we’re mates, of course I love you,”

 

Just as he’s stumbling through trying to explain himself with nonsense, Zayn’s mother comes into the room then and Louis stops riding against his growing hard-on.

 

“Would you like some brunch or-- _oohh!”_

 

When she sees the position they’re in, she automatically closes her eyes. Louis wonders if she’s ever walked in on her son in similar scenarios because he’s noticed… Zayn’s door doesn’t have a lock.

 

His cheeks are inflamed as he scrambles to get off but, Zayn’s hands grip his hips firmly so Louis stays in place on top of him. He hasn’t taken his eyes off Louis’ once.

 

 _“You’re alright.”_ He assures Louis with a whisper.

 

He knows he’s not just talking about sitting on him.

 

“We’re just playing around, mummy.” he says louder, still eyeing Louis with unnerving focus

 

 _“For now_ …” Perrie mutters under her breath, scrolling through her phone as she ignored them.

 

It should be noted that she isn’t aware that they’ve already been past playing games as of two sweaty nights ago and Louis plans to keep her unaware of that for as long as it’ll last but right now, it looks like it’ll be happening with her in attendance.

 

_“It’s all fun and games until someone falls in love…”_

 

Zayn closes his eyes at the ceiling and swallows after she mutters that one even lower.

 

“Is that what the kids call it nowadays?” Trisha asks, eyes still closed.

 

Twice in one day, it’s official. Louis and Zayn suck at parents. If they ever dated, it would only be a series of unfortunate events that left their family with permanent scars, Perrie included.

 

“Honest mum. We’re totally PG.” Zayn finally looks over at his mother with a charming smile.

 

“Totally.” Louis agrees.

 

“We’re fully clothed and everything.”

 

That wasn’t entirely true. Zayn was shirtless but, the most important parts were covered.

 

“Look, I don’t want to be a bother. There’s homemade pizza in the kitchen if you’re hungry. Me and Ya are going to a few shops.”

 

“Doniya’s here?” Perrie looks up at that but Trisha is already headed out.

 

“Text me if you guys want me to bring you anything back.” She says, leaving the room.

 

“Box of condoms please!” Zayn shouts as she closes the door behind her.

 

“You are _terrible!”_ Louis laughs into him “Her prayers for your soul just got an hour added to them good job.”

 

Louis’ mum would probably insist on keeping the door open. He couldn’t imagine what she’d do if she walked in on him being in such a compromising position. He breathes a huge sigh of relief that they never meet at his house.

 

Zayn sits up with his hands sliding down to move Louis so he’s secure in his lap.

 

“So, you said something about me being cute?” Louis chirps to change the subject, leaning back with his hands on the floor behind him. Before Zayn can reply, Perrie jumps in bed and dangles above them.

 

“So, you were saying something about Kendall not getting away with this?” she says, happily reminding Louis of his dilemma.

 

Louis slumps over miserably and Zayn shoots Perrie angry glare, mouthing for her to shut up as she smiles.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t take your advice seriously Pez. You were totally right.” he says to her. Perrie shakes her head

 

“You don’t know the half of it Lou Lou. So does this mean you’re down with putting an end to this?”

 

Louis doesn’t even have to think about his answer

 

“If that means we’re putting that little manipulative snake in her place then yeah. Sign me the fuck up.”

 

Perrie squeals with excitement

 

“Fucking ace Lou! I knew you were smart!” She cheers, standing up off the bed and skipping to the door.

 

“Where are you going--”

 

_“Need to give DeDe something before she leaves!”_

 

Louis stands up off of Zayn and helps him stand up by pulling on both his hands, who's frowning as he holds Louis’ hand before he can walk away.

 

When Louis stops with raised brows, Zayn rubs his thumb over his hand.

 

“I’m sorry about yesterday. I should’ve stayed with you.” He says, completely serious.

 

“It was a shitty party on a nice day, wasted. We probably would’ve had more fun if we’d just gone to the beach or something. Less noise in a crowd, you know?”

 

Louis’ insides are flipping over. He was also genuinely upset about a day they could’ve spent alone together at that party, Louis almost doesn’t believe Zayn just said that he basically was too.

 

“Why would you want to do that?”

 

“I told you, I don’t just fuck people then avoid them all day.” Zayn laughs lightly. “And we’ve never really got to hang out anyway.”

 

It hits Louis that this is the first time they’ve talked to each other since yesterday morning and a LOT has happened since then. Not just with Louis.

 

Seeing bruises all over Zayn’s neck, chest, and arms disturbs him very deeply because this isn’t the mark of someone who had rough sex or got bumped into at a party. He looks like he’s been body slammed by a real wrestler.

 

His hand smooths up Zayn’s arms with concern as he looks over his battered skin. Someone’s grip in his arms left purple marks around them, like there were fingers digging for gold in his bones.

 

When he closes his eyes with a sour grimace, Louis gasps a little, realising he really was hurting Zayn a few minutes ago and that’s why he put Louis into a fucking headlock so he’d stop.

 

 _“Are you okay?”_ He asks as he looks Zayn in the eye now, forgetting all about about himself since Zayn is obviously going through something too that could be way worse.

 

“What happened to you yesterday?”

 

It starts to come back to him that Zayn sort of disappeared almost as soon as they seperated after the thing with Liam happened at the pool.

 

“Did someone hurt yo--”

 

Zayn pulls his hand off and quickly dismisses it.

 

“Nothing ‘happened’.” He laughs.

 

“It was a lame party that I left early because I was bored. Are _you_ okay? That’s all I care about right now. Trust me, my night wasn’t nearly as eventful. I should’ve taken you with me.”

 

The thing is, based off his perfect memory of everything… Louis knows he’s lying.

 

He knows that Liam got into a fight with Calvin and that there was a lot of blood. He knows Zayn was in the middle of it and that he’s showing signs of someone who is in a lot of pain right now after moving around way to much.

 

It’s now he sees he tiredness Zayn is wearing like a thick coat is more than just a hangover or a little horse play.

 

He looks like he’s just returned from war even as he smiles at Louis and assures him he’s fine and would rather make Louis feel better with some attentive, TLC even though he deserves it too.

 

“We can share.” Louis offers, “Tell me your day and I’ll tell you mine. We can give each other unhelpful advice over pizza like how me and mum do.”

 

He proposes it like a game, backing away with Zayn in hand but Zayn shakes his head no, unmoving.

 

“Don’t share my burdens with anyone but me.” He admits flatly and the air chills.

 

Louis holds his lips in with a frown as Perrie yells for them to come downstairs with her.

 

“We can discuss our Kendall plan over pizza! I’m calling it _Stabbing Caesar!”_ She calls from downstairs.

 

“You wanna go downstairs or… we could go out or something?” Louis asks as Zayn stretches and yawns, hissing as he holds his ribs and swears under his breath.

 

Louis would’ve appreciated the view of his flexing abs and muscles on his back but the black and blue bruises on him and watching him wince makes Louis wince a little too at it occurs to him just how much the notion of someone hurting Zayn hurts him too. But he doesn’t ask about it again after he’s already said he doesn’t want to talk about it even though he’s growing more certain that his suspicion is true as he watches him walk off in a careful way to ease the ache his body is clearly undergoing.

 

“Just gimme a minute to get dressed.” He yawns, then adds “Unless you wanna stay and watch…”

 

Louis bites back a smile, opting out of answering such a ridiculous offer as he slowly backs away for the door.

 

“Oh and Lou,” Zayn calls. Louis sticks his head back into the room

 

“Yes Zaynie?”

 

Zayn is sorting through a drawer.

 

“For the record, if you can recall with your perfect memory, I didn’t just say you’re cute.” He looks up with his usual smirk

 

“I said you’re fucking hot.”

 

Louis smiles.

 

“I remember.”

 

Zayn’s expression gets serious.

 

“But you’re more than just a hot ass.” He tells him “You’re funny and smart, and you brighten my house every time you walk in. If you haven’t noticed, we’re all in love with you too. That’s real. Way more to offer than anybody on this dumb beach and if Harry doesn’t see that, then he’s a fucking idiot.”

 

Louis is taken aback by how genuine his words are, not a hint of a joke or innuendo hidden in it.

 

“I mean that.”

 

Louis looks down with a bashful smile, scratching behind his head distractedly.

 

“Thanks Zayn.” He says.

 

He heads back downstairs after Zayn nods and goes back to sorting through his drawer with all kinds of butterflies fluttering in his tummy.

 

After a slow walk downstairs, he again forgets Harry’s face altogether as he fantasises about what going down to the beach with just Zayn instead of the party would’ve been like with a smile.

 

Whether they just talked and laughed. Or watched the sunset in silence. Or made love in the sand under the sun and skinny dipped in the bay after to cooled off under the moonlight.

 

Anything with Zayn sounded like a great idea as long as it was just them without the rest of Wellington there to ruin it.

 

He makes a note to ask him if he’s serious about it today.

 

He passes by Doniya leaving the kitchen, blowing a kiss at Perrie and waving bye to Louis too as she and her mother go out.

 

Perrie notices Louis’ pink cheeks when he sits down and rolls her eyes.

 

“Did he undress in front of you?”

 

Louis laughs but shakes his head

 

“No. He…” Louis pauses, thinking about it while he grabs a slice of pizza

 

“He’s really sweet,” then adds as they’re eating, “I can see why you guys love him so much.”

 

Perrie softens at that.

 

“Underneath all that coquettish apathy, he’s a total sap. He does care about us. A lot.”

 

“I know.”

 

Louis hadn't known Zayn that long but he still knew him better than most people apparently. There was more to him than what people say. It’s easy to tell that the whole callousness and disinterest to the rest of the world was an act once you spent enough time with him. Louis spent more time with Zayn and Perrie than anyone else here, besides Kendall and Tom. Obviously, that last one was about to change a lot.

Louis and Perrie are discussing what they're gonna do tomorrow at school when Zayn finally comes downstairs with his hair pulled back under a big beanie with a ripped MTV T-shirt with the sleeves torn off as usual and black torn skinnies. Louis gets that flutter of nerves in his stomach each time Zayn looks at him with his lopsided smirk as they talk.

  
By the time they got to the pizza, Safaa, Waliyha and a few of Zayn's little cousins had already ate most of it. There's only about 3 slices left and the 3 of them are still hungry by the end.

  
"Let’s go out." Zayn suggests with a bleak expression. “I’m hungry and bored.”

"What about all the little kids here?" Louis asks as they get on their shoes and jackets.

  
"They won't be alone. Yaser is in the office." Perrie supplied as they were walking out the door.

 

Louis is only just noticing him after she points out a room across the hall where an older man is sat at a computer.

 

All he can see is his back but even from behind with all his shiny, salt and pepper hair and brown skin and the way he carries his posture, upright and relaxed at the same time, he can tell Zayn is his spitting image. Instantly, Louis realises someone even more mysterious than Zayn actually _does_ exist on this beach.

 

He hadn't met Zayn's dad but he was beginning to think he wasn’t even real. He was so much more low-key than the rest of Zayn's hyper-active family. Just like Zayn.

They go to a coffee shop and order grande vanilla soy lattes and croissants and window shop at La Perla and Armani, Louis holding Perrie’s hand and Zayn admiring his reflection in every window they pass by and it’s a nice and sunny Sunday to be out with friends as the birds chirp with their laughter.

 

When Zayn’s truck pulls up to a fast food joint, Louis sees a familiar black escalade already in the lot. He could see two figures moving around inside as the car is moving back and forth a little.

 

It was easy to guess who they were and what they were doing.

  
"Tom's here." Louis tells Perrie and Zayn, paranoid that he’s going to be seen out with Kendall’s enemy before he realises he doesn’t even care anymore.

 

He doesn’t want Zayn and Perrie to be his secret friends from this point until forever. This will be the first thing they change in the rule book today.

"How do you know? Have you got telepathy as well?" Perrie asks as Zayn helps her out of the truck like a proper gentleman. He helps Louis out just the same as well.

"No, his car is just right there." He points to his caddy before he dismisses it.

 

“Doesn’t matter. I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you. Who cares?”

 

 _“‘Who cares’_ he says.” Zayn narrates with a smile and Louis laughs louder than the joke prompted anyone too.

 

“He also says fuck Tom and Niall.”

 

“Now there’s something _else_ I can get behind you on.” Zayn cheers as he hops on Louis’ back so he carries him, who shushes Zayn for making that kind of remark around Perrie as they laugh their way inside together.

 

As they go on, Louis thinks about what Tom told him about Zayn and a question pops into Louis' head.

"Have you ever been with Tom?" He asks Zayn as he drops him at a booth.

 

He quirks a suspicious eyebrow at Louis as he scoots inside.

"I'm just curious" Louis says innocently, messing with a napkin dispenser distractedly.

  
"Why are you so curious? Are you interested in Tom?" Perrie asks as she sits on he side opposite to Zayn and Louis.

 

  
"Nooo..." he drags out the word as they read the menus.

 

He casually settles himself into Zayn’s arm that’s lazily sitting over the back of his seat, which of course automatically goes over Louis’ shoulders to now walk his fingers up and down leisurely and it has Louis smiling like an idiot as he talks.

"He just seemed pretty devoted to Niall even though Niall is off all over every girl he knows. I was just wondering if Tom got around too. He made it clear that he didn't want to go all the way with me anyways.” He rolls his eyes a little at that.

 

“All the way?” Perrie eyes him curiously.

 

“As in… you’ve been… somewhere…?”

 

“Just oral.” Louis dismisses it. “I think he believes dick in the _deeper_ hole equals cheating."

 

“A hole is a hole.” Zayn shrugs “Yours feel the same. If that’s the case then Tom is a fucking idiot too--”  

 

Louis kicks him _hard_ under the table.

  
"Oooh, so you _tried_ to come on to Tom and he rejected you?" Perrie bursts out laughing but Zayn reaches across the table and hits her in the head with his menu

  
"Don't laugh at him." Zayn says defensively. Louis smiles at him.

  
"Actually my attempt at coming onto him was half-assed and not at all serious. I was just testing to see how he'd react. If I wanted him, I'd have him, babe." Louis tuts, and Zayn laughs this time.

  
"Look what you've done to him! He sounds like you now." Perrie accuses Zayn, who shrugs nonchalantly.

  
"I can't take credit for his confidence. Besides, he's probably right. Lou’s a great catch." Then he looks pointedly at Louis beside him.

  
“To answer your original question, yes. We’ve hooked up a couple times."

 

_‘Huh. What a perfect liar Tom is.’_

 

"And when were these so called 'hook-ups' I've never heard of?" Perrie says, crossing her arms over her chest.

 

"I don't know. A while ago.” He shrugs it off like he doesn’t really care to remember.

 

“Do you ever tell me when _you’re_ busy eating out?" He shoots back cooly.

 

Perrie looks stumped then as she blinks, slowly pulling the menu back up until they can’t see her face.

  
"ANYWAYS, back to brunch." She continues loudly. Zayn and Louis both chuckle together.

  
" _Dictator perpetuo._ ” She starts her prepared plan, like this is a lecture in class. “Does anyone know what that means?”

 

Louis doesn’t but, Zayn does. His arm lifts up from behind Louis as he raises his hand with a eager smile, wiggling his fingers in the air.

 

“Oooooh, I do! I do!” He coos like a child and Perrie smiles with a tilted head.

 

“Zayn?” She calls.

 

“Dictator in perpetuity.”

 

“ _Dictator in perpetuity._ Very good boy, Zayn. _”_ Perrie repeats with a nod, tossing a chip at him when he holds his mouth open to receive the treat as they laugh.

 

She gets out a pen and notepad next, popping off the cap in her mouth and writing the Latin phrase across the first blank page with her neat script.

 

 _“_ The office held by none other than Julius Caesar from the 26th of January until his death, March 15th of the year 44 BCE, two months later at the hand of his colleagues.” She continues, writing out _CEASAR_ in bold caps at the top of the page before underlining it twice and drawing out 3 arrows below it, each path indicating a different mark.

 

 _“Dictator perpetuo_ is often mistranslated as "dictator for life" but this is not actually the case. Dictators don’t get to be dictators for life. Why? For the same reason the Bourgeoisie did not get the chance to mercilessly exploit the Proletariat for a long as they fucking pleased. Someone will eventually have enough of being fed their shit and accepting it as dinner. _And that_ , my loves, is where we start.”

 

The blueprint was pretty simple. Caesar was Kendall Jenner and the were the Proletariat.

Perrie was definitely the leader of the coup the surrounded Caesar while Zayn was the casual observer who couldn’t care less and just joined in on the stabbing out of boredom and Louis?

 

Louis is the first knife in Caesar’s chest.

 

It doesn’t take long for Louis to know they’ve talked about this before unless they just have these random facts on hand all the time.

 

They’ve never had their knife before.

 

“Art history.” Zayn explains off-handedly and Louis nods in understanding.

 

“Kendall Jenner is an evil dictator. How do you overthrow an evil dictator?”

 

“Cut off their balls?" Zayn answers.

 

“Balls… resources. Whatever you want to call them.”

  
"Accessories..." Louis mutters

"Yes, exactly Louis. What is a model without her accessories? _Nothing_ . Like a soulless mannequin."

  
"What’s wrong with that? Soulless is sexy." Zayn says, and Louis scrunches his nose up at him.

  
"You _ooze_ sexy and you have a brilliantly radiant soul shining through your eyes."

Zayn bats his eyelashes at Louis. He’s wearing grey contacts today.

  
"Are you sure that's my soul you're looking at?"

 

  
"Don't let those doe eyes fool you, no less seduce you. Save it." Perrie advises as she turns the page over and begins to draw out a plan in her archetypally perfect handwriting while Louis and Zayn fluff their eyelashes at each other, Louis laughing when Zayn gets close enough for Louis to feel his on his cheeks.

  
Perrie's plan reads:

 

Julius Caesar’s Accessories :

  
-Army of Delusional Twats

-Man Candy

-Respected Reputation

  
  
"Whom are the army of delusional twats made of exactly? There’s no way all of Wellington will abandon her." Louis asks

  
"No, of course not. All of Wellington isn’t in love with her, they’re _afraid_ of her. We’re focusing on her tiny squad. This part is called divide and conquer. She is only as strong as her weakest link. Tom Harlock and Eleanor Calder pretty much run the entire homecoming committee, they are our focus. They can be swayed if you just give them the right push.”

 

Louis loved this part. He could seduce a girl just as easy he could a boy. He just couldn’t use his ass.

 

“I will _gladly_ take miss Calder-tits-for-brains for the team.” Zayn grins and he could not have said something more shockingly unshocking.

 

Louis knew he was going to be tasked with Tom anyway since he’s already got his trust in pocket and dick in mouth but imagining Zayn working over _Eleanor_ like it was his job really irked him. He wanted to say they switch even if that strategically made zero sense. But Louis was going to be a professional scam artist and not let his personal feelings get in the way as they agreed anyways, even if he didn’t like it.

 

“What about Lottie?” He points to her blank box under Kendall.

 

“Lottie probably can't be salvaged.” Perrie write hers off.

 

“Being cousins with Calvin Rodgers pretty much makes her a lost cause. But maybe I could get Doniya to--"

  
“Wait!” Louis' eyes bulge

  
"Calvin is her cousin!?"

 

THAT would put a hanger on this entire operation now that he remembers this Julius Caesar was reincarnated with a guard dog they _do not_ want to piss off.

 

  
"I told you, there's nothing to worry about with Calvin. He got a fresh licking from Li at Leigh's party. He's like, the last person you have to worry about." She snorts.

  
Zayn's jaw tenses at that and Louis thinks it’s because she mentioned Liam at first but he turns to Louis instead of going off on Perrie like usual.

  
"Calvin is a sick, twisted sack of shit. I don't want you anywhere _near_ him despite whoever beats him up. Don't underestimate him."

Louis is a little surprised by Zayn's protectiveness. He likes it a lot on him.

  
"I know. I grew up with him, which is why I'm so shocked Lottie is his cousin as I've never met her before now."

  
They both gawk at him

  
"What?" They say at the same time. Louis almost laughs at how freakishly in sync they are sometimes.

  
"He used to beat the shit out of me almost everyday back in Donny. One of those "spray the gay away" type of deals, only insteading of spraying, he used his fists. My coming out party was a little bit traumatising." He laughs pathetically.

  
"Oh my god, Louis... that's awful." Perrie frowns, putting her hand over his from across the table while Zayn squeezes his shoulder.

  
"It's alright. That was nearly 7 years ago."

  
"No, that's not alright." Zayn says vehemently. "He's an actual psycho and now you're back at the same place as him."

  
Louis tuts his lips dismissively

  
"I'm not afraid of some bully." He lies.

 

Truth was, he was just as afraid of Calvin as he was when he was 10. He was always relieved that he'd never have to go back to Doncaster again just because he wouldn't have to see Calvin. It was like escaping the grasp of the devil.

  
“He's not just a bully. He's a racist _rapist_ and deserves to be rotting in jail."

 

Zayn doesn't say that like its a rumour.

 _"He's a rapist?!"_ Louis shouts, alarmed and _way_ too loud for a public conversation.

"Oi, what in the hell are you lot talking about?" An Irish accent chirps.

 

Niall walks up to their table with Tom.

  
"Hi Louis!" Tom chirps happily, swiping the tossle blonde locks back as Louis is happy to return it with a wink as he discreetly yanks the plan off the table before he sees his name written on it.

 

He did genuinely like Tom. And it would just feel morally wrong to hate him just because of Kendall. It wasn’t like he was the one eating Harry in his face.

 

The plan wasn’t destroy Kendall and her friends. It was get her friends loyalty on his side and he already knows Tom will be easy.

  
When Louis waves at him with a bright smile, Tom notices the way Zayn has his arm around Louis with curious eyebrows. Louis on the other hand also notices that Tom is holding hands with Niall.

  
Louis has had a generally vague understanding of Tom and Niall's relationship but from what he picked up by now, the two had VERY different views as to what they "were", so to speak.

  
Tom referred to Niall as his boyfriend, which by definition, he was. So Tom basically considered this to be an open-relationship which was great. Louis didn’t see a problem with that.

  
Niall on the other hand has _strictly_ referred to Tom as just a friend that he sometimes fucks.

 

Now, if we’re going off of Louis' opinion here, this wasn't really an open-relationship or a friends with benefits situation. This was very simply... just plain fucked up.

 

They were seriously lacking communication in the setup and neither of them were on the same page as to what they even were to each other. Louis wouldn't be surprised if they'd never even expressed their actual feelings for each other despite them having this whatever it was going on for 4 years.

  
Right now, as they're standing before him, hand in hand, if Louis didn't know any better he'd think they were just an ordinary couple out on a date. Knowing what he does know though, this in front of him now was just a big cluster-fuck of confusion.

 

He realises this might not be so easy. He needed to get rid of Niall first.

  
"Hi Tom." Louis says in his friendliest tone.

"What are you guys doing here?"

 

 _Together_ .

  
Niall looks at Tom and shrugs

  
"Just hangin’."

  
Louis instantly notices that his pupils are unbelievably dilated. Growing up reading medical textbooks as a child and retaining every word of them, Louis can guess that Niall is either high as fuck or in a sex haze. Judging from what he saw in Tom's escalade  & also from their disheveled appearance plus Niall's languid movements and manner of speech... it was probably both.

  
"Would you like to sit with us or are you two on a date?" He offers sweetly with an impish smirk directed at Niall who narrows his eyes at Louis when he winks at him.

 

He already knows Niall doesn’t like him and he wants Niall to know he enjoys it.

 

No one seems to notice the exchange. There’s already another going underway.

 

Tom and Zayn’s way.

 

Before Niall can even respond though, Tom is pulling him away but Louis can _feel_ the tension bewteen the two of them.

  
"See you later Louis." Tom says brightly, then shoots a hard glare at Zayn before turning away and sitting far away on the other side of the restaurant.

  
It was the most bizarre encounter Louis had ever witnessed - and that was saying a lot here.

 

At least with things like Liam encounters, he had some context. Zayn doesn't seem fazed by Tom’s glare, refocusing his attention on Perrie's master plan list while Perrie didn't seem to notice the exchange at all, too engrossed in writing out the plan she’s taken back out.

 

Louis is debating if he should ask them what the hell was up with Tom and Zayn, making a note to ask when Tom wasn’t a short distance away from them.

 

“I've slept with girls like that.” Perrie mutters under her breath with a mordant chuckle.

 

“The poor morsels with the overly aggressive boyfriend shoved up their pussy.”

 

 _Now_ they were fucking _talking_. Even if it was about pussy, he didn’t care. He’s been wondering about Perrie since he met her and there it was, beautifully laid out.

 

She _is_ gay!

 

Perrie glances up after a moment of silence and catches Louis gaping at her with a biggest, shocked grin he’s ever wore in his life.

 

“What?”

 

“So you _are_ a lesbian.”

 

Perrie leans back as she stretches her arms behind her head with a strangely attractive snort, getting out a cigarette to hold bewteen her lips and she shoots Zayn a funny look and quirks her eyebrows once as she lights it. Louis looks between them briefly.

 

“And what does _that_ mean _?”_  
  
  
“We don't subscribe to such labels ‘round here, mate. Try to keep up.” She says with a wink, blowing out smoke as she holds his cigarette with a dangling wrist.

 

Louis loves how she doesn’t sit like a lady. She sits like Zayn.

 

Louis’ not gonna lie. The main reason he still can’t quite tell what is exactly what with these two is because they seem to have a reversed energy than they don’t look the part for but still exude very strongly. Something that doesn’t have a conventional label.

 

Perrie is not at all soft like Zayn. She’s hardened to her very core, not exclusively evil yet also warm like a mother as well. Underneath her pink hair and dark make-up, he feels like she could morph into a Crystal Gem or Wonder Woman. Something much more powerful than she shows.

 

For example, Louis isn’t attracted to Perrie the way he is Zayn but he could imagine her fucking him with a strap-on for some bizarre reason just from the vibe she gives off.

 

Maybe it’s because it’s obvious now that they were both total tops.

 

Some cultures believe there gender doesn’t just stop with the human body but also deep within two spirits, not exclusively female or male but both and neither at the same time. When you lay that out on top of the spectrum of sexuality, Perrie and Zayn _definitely_ fall outside of every boxed norm.

 

One has a more delicate, feminine energy while the other has a tougher one that you don’t quite know or understand until you’ve spent enough time with them both and feel them both vibe off each other with it. Whether that has anything to do with how they express themselves sexually doesn’t even matter. He gets the drift that they don’t label it because there _is_ no label they quite fit here and that just seemed perfect for them.

 

Louis eventually nods with a wide grin now that he’s in on it too as Perrie and Zayn exchange smiles as well.  
  
  
They all burst out laughing after. Proper gut-busting, loudness level unable to get out a sound kind of fit of laughter that has the whole restaurant looking at them strangely as they all hide their faces.

 

Louis must say, hanging out with openly fluid, queer folk is much less exhausting than hanging out with sexually challenged straight people. Even talking about how those boring mortals have sex gives them even more of a laugh.  
  
  
_'Who do we think we are?'_ Louis thought pleasantly, in love with Zayn and Perrie’s idea to act superior to not even just heteronormative but everyone in Wellington at that.  
  
  
Louis knew _exactly_ who they were, even without a label or clique. Three guys who knew it was time for their current to be dethroned.    
  
  
“Why is Kendall afraid of a little angel like Zaynie anyways?” He wonders aloud once they get back to the point.

 

He remembers Perrie mentioning that Kendall was afraid of Zayn which he found odd because imagining them ever crossing paths seemed so random and unlikely.  
  
  
"I don’t believe you’re a demon. Just an angel with impure thoughts."

 

Zayn gives Louis a concentrated stare as he slowly backs Louis into a corner until there’s nowhere to go and his mouth is at Louis’ ear.  
  
  
"She’s afraid of me because I’m a seductress that eat bitches like her and her little workers for _breakfast_."

 

He says it in Louis’ ear, his glossy lips touching his skin and his soft hands moving down his abdomen like something silky is giving him a massage and Louis shoves him off so he can have air.  
  
  
"You know, you two seem like quite a dangerous pair.” He admits when they both laugh at his unnerved shaking.

 

He’s not entirely joking. He knew ‘Zerrie’ were notorious for wrecking this beach but he thought it was all embellished up ‘til now, seeing that they really _are_ about it.

“Should I be concerned?"

 

  
"No.” Perrie puffs a few rings out above her head.

 

“You’re perfect. Luckily, we're on the same team."  
  
  
"I don't think _any_ of us bat for the same teams." Zayn points out.  
  
  
"All the more interesting for our dynamic."

 

They agreed with Louis. Two seductresses and Wonder Woman had to be.

  
  
The rest of their time was spent talking about the plan they dubbed as ‘The Apocalypse’: Rich girl worlds was coming to an end.

 

Pretty long title they’d dub as project X for short but, it sounded cool and Louis liked it. Zayn couldn't really give two shits about what it was called. All he had to do was show up and snatch a soul, otherwise he was just observing more than anything else. Although, he did promise to give Louis some pointers on Tom if he needed help getting him to forget about Niall.

 

They were truly turning Louis into an artist of their craft. Scam artists who lived for drama and loved fraud.

  
  
The second thing on the list of Kendall’s accessories they needed to rid her of was her man candy. That part of the plan was Louis' favourite.

 

It meant he got to try to seduce Harry.

“Are you sure he's even into guys? I've always seen him-"

"Yes." Louis and Zayn say at the same time. They both smirk at each other. Perrie laughs

"Alright, since you're both so sure of that. Louis, you’re gonna have to keep hanging out with Kendall as if nothing is wrong and figure out how to get closer to Harry without making it obvious that you want to fuck him. _He_ has to make that move on _you_ so you make the choice as attractive as possible. Can you do it?”

 

Louis nods. Hanging out with Kendall like nothing happened was gonna be easy. Louis considered himself to be a great actor.

 

“I’m sure you’ll enjoy getting closer to Harry on your own. Kendall obviously doesn't know Harry isn't straight, otherwise she’d have nothing to do with him."

 

  
After they finalised details and ate all the food they ordered, they talk about the last accessory on the list that would naturally crumble on it’s own but in the back of Louis’ mind, he starts thinking outside of the box that they can’t just destroy Kendall and run.

 

Here’s the thing about taking down a dictator. It creates a power vacuum.

 

Someone else would eventually take her place as the new Queen Bee and Louis couldn’t be the queen of Rich Girl World for obvious reasons.

 

It wouldn’t be someone like Lottie or Eleanor because they were merely followers. Not Melissa, she was already the Queen of the underworld. Sofia and Leigh were somewhat plausible but neither of them were iconic enough to have a large influence over their peers (specifically, over the girls).

 

There needed to be an balance that worked all sides of every spectrum. Girls and guys alike, straight or otherwise.

 

It struck Louis then what else they’d be doing as he looks at Perrie across from him and sees a halo over her head, a girl with a hard heart wrapped in pink silk and shining with light as he watched her smile her La Perla whites and laugh with her blonde head thrown back even though her voice was a mute in his head.

 

He sees it already. Maybe a little gloss on her lips and some soft curls. Dior beauty with a little less eyeliner.

 

He needed some retail therapy anyways.

 

She was going to be _that_ fab bitch if it was the only lasting impact he’d have on this school. The Goth bitch in here didn’t have to go. It was just in desperate need of a splash of Chanel.

 

A plan of his own forms in his head about how he’d knock all three birds out with one stone. Get closer to Harry, distanced from Kendall and Perrie all the respect in the world that she deserved.

 

“Do you guys know when the next party is?” He asks them, and Zayn and Perrie both shakes their heads

 

“That’s kind of the committee’s thing.” Perrie explains “You’ll need to ask one of them.”

 

“Why do you ask?”

 

Louis doesn’t answer Zayn’s question. Instead, he strolls over to Tom and Niall, who both happen to be on the committee. Perrie and Zayn look at each other, confused, before following Louis over to them right before he asks when the next party is.

  
"I don't really know." Niall answers dumbly. Tom rolls his eyes at him

"You don't know because you just show up, get drunk and get laid."

  
"That's not true!" Niall protests, "You guys never tell me anything."

  
"We wouldn't have to if you just bothered to show up to a committee meeting.”

 

They start arguing like a married couple until Zayn gets annoyed and interrupts them.

  
"Tom," he says, exasperated "Lou wants to know about the next party. Do you know or not?"

  
Tom looks at Zayn, caught off guard for a second, like he's shocked that he's just spoke to him before he quickly snaps out of it.

  
"There isn't one. The dance is in 3 weeks so all the money is going to that."

  
"No one's throwing a Halloween party?" Perrie asks, puzzled herself because that meant there wasn’t going to be another house party for over a month. Tom shakes his head.

  
"Halloween is the day before the dance so, no."

 

This was fucking perfect. Someone has a birthday the day after Halloween and he now knows _exactly_ what he’ll be doing for it.

  
"Great.” Louis smiles.

 

“I wanted to invite you to be my plus one, Tommy." Louis chirps.

 

The 4 of them look at him like he's just asked Tom to have sex with him.

  
"Your... plus one?" Tom repeats. Louis nods, smiling.

  
"To where?"

  
"A little get together I'm invited to.” He looks at Niall then.

 

“I would’ve invited you but, it’s gay oriented and I can only invite one so,” He gives him a shrug.

  
Tom _really_ lights up at that now.

  
"Really? That sounds cool. But… who’s having a get together?"

  
"I'll text you the details later. It’s plus one only so, bring a male friend that likes dick." Louis says with a wink, then he grabs Zayn's hand and pulls him towards the exit. Perrie blinks a few times like she's trying to register what just happened before running over and paying for their meal then scurrying off after them.

  
In the truck, Perrie starts to ask Louis questions from the backseat

  
"So when were you gonna tell us about this little “gay get together" you were invited to?"

  
"Or at least invite me." Zayn murmurs. Louis smiles and props his feet up on the dash.

  
"Now…. and _now_ ." He quips, reaching behind his seat to squeeze Perrie’s nose playfully

  
"Both of you are invited." He looks back at Perrie then.

 

“Also, we need to go shopping for you immediately. This is a dire event and you need to be prepared one month in advance by showing up in Wellington as Miss Bitch by tomorrow morning.”

  
"Wait, when were you invited to this? And I thought you said it was plus one only." She asks.

  
"They’re anonymous and I think I can break my own rules. It’s _my_ birthday after all." He quips

"Your rules?" Zayn repeats with raised eyebrows. Louis nods, grinning wide. Perrie and Zayn start to catch on.

  
"Wait… birthda-- so this is _your_ get together? Like a birthday party??" Perrie stutters after putting two and two together and Louis shushes her

  
"It a n o n y m o u s."

 

_Wink, wink._

  
"Right. So _"Anonymous"_ " Perrie does air quotes and exaggeratedly winks twice  "Is having a plus one only "get together" for _your birthday?"_

  
Louis nods,

  
"Now you've got it, love!"

  
"And when is your birthday and who all is coming to the “little get together”?"

Louis thinks about that for a minute.

"The day after Halloween and whoever the word spreads to is who all is gonna come."

 

“Oh my God, we have the same birthday!” Zayn blurts, momentarily showing a rare, genuinely excited emotion as he blurts this before clearing his throat and quickly getting back into the act that he doesn’t care to pay attention to what they’re talking about.

 

“On my God, two scorpios with Venus in Lilith this season.” Perrie shudders in the back and Louis laughs at her knowing their astrology signs as he looks back at her again.

 

“What’s wrong with that?”

 

“Secretive. Cunning and passionate craving to fill your soul with physical catharsis in and out of the bedroom. It’s the sign of the strong libido and enveloping sensuality. You’re both literally Liliths that think with your _dicks._ It’s sickening.”

 

Louis didn’t even know all that about his sign. Figures.

 

“Dick _is_ sick Pez. You’re riding with two golden ones now.” Zayn winks at her in the rearview mirror.

 

She scoffs in disgust as she crosses her arms and looks out of the window.

 

“Well keep those fleshy point sticks away from _me,_ yeah.”

 

“Never say never.”

 

“Never _cum_ , more like.”

 

Louis burst into tears laughing. He couldn’t express enough how much he loved them both to death.

  
"Wait a second, you’re doing this after Halloween as in the day of Kendall’s Homecoming Committee dance?" Perrie says in disbelief.

 

Louis only smiles, as evil as he can get his lips to translate.

 

“You do realise that no one outside of the committee ever throws parties right? It’s like an unspoken rule.”

 

“I don’t follow anyones rules.”

 

Zayn starts laughing now.

"Lou… I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this but you are absolutely mental."

Louis shrugs

  
"Hey, it’s not my gathering as far as everyone else is concerned."

 

“Where’s this happening.”

 

“Dunno… _où est-ce qu’on peut danser à Wellington?”_ Louis asks. Zayn’s answer is instantaneous.

 

“The beach.” He smiles.

 

Louis knew Zayn knew how to dance on this beach. He knew about his secret party-boy nightlift.

 

He seriously could not _wait_ for this to hit the fan.

 

“Then beach party it is.” Louis nods.

"Okay so this “Anonymous” person, is he--"

"They pronouns please." Louis corrects her, and she smiles

  
"Are _they_ gonna be spreading word around or are you just gonna sit back at let it spread around Wellington on its own like an STD?"

  
"Between the 2 of you who are personally invited, just do the same as I did with Tom. Invite one person, tell that person to invite one person, and so on. By my calculations, enough people will know by the time Halloween arrives as we slowly make our way through our respective tasks and end with the finale on the beach. At least a handful of curious cats are bound to wander in. Hopefully, one of them will have pretty green eyes and curly brown hair and I’ll be completing phase one, two and three of project X." Then Louis adds.

 

“Oh and I’ve decided that I need a makeover and so do you guys. I don’t want to look like everyone else anymore.”

  
He directs them to go to a shopping mall that turns out to be wear Doniya and Trisha went so they can stop in a few luxury shops Zayn shakes his head in disbelief.

  
"You know Lou Lou, I already knew you were a genius. But I actually think you might be a genius."

  
"I'm gonna pretend like that made any bit of sense and agree." Perrie snorts

  
"I mean, after what you did at Leigh's party, I wouldn't doubt your magical powers for a second."

  
Louis looks back at Perrie with an evil grin

  
"What was that I did at Leigh's party again?" He wants to hear her say it, just to mess with Zayn

"Starting a huge dance cypher, grinding up on Harry and.... oh, getting Lima and Zayn to do body shots and end the night together was pretty fucking epic!"

  
Louis laughs when Zayn knocks his feet back to the floor

  
"I've had enough of the two of you!" He grumbles.

Perrie leans up to the front with both her arms wrapped around their shoulders

"Well, get used to it. There's a massive shitstorm heading to Wellington and those cunts aren’t gonna know what hit them."

 

“First Wellington then world domination?” Louis asks.

 

Zayn rolls his window down and lets the air flow through his long hair.

 

“Why see the world when we’ve got the beach?” He sighs in content.

  
They were right. There was a shitstorm on the way known as the Apocalypse and Louis was determined to fly directly into the eye of the storm with adrenaline pumping in his veins like always.

 

The first shop they go to was Louis’ favourite French fashion house.

 

On Mondays, they’d wear Louis Vuitton.

  
  
[ [Existential  Mall Music Echoing in the DIstance ] ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJ5ge6dnswo)

 


End file.
